Chapter Text
As the Sunday morning church was filled to the brim with the sounds of people singing their praises, Aubrey couldn’t bring herself to enter the building. Though the church had been a place of comfort for her throughout the years following Mari’s death, its walls now felt like they constricted her every breath. Many people walked past her and saw her slumped form, none choosing to offer any sort of comfort to the distraught girl. Her reputation precedes her needs, and it left her once again hearing the old wooden doors of the church close as the people entered the building.
Hypocrites, all of them, she thinks to herself, drawing her knees up to her chin.
With her back to the cool white walls of the church, Aubrey rests. A breeze passes through, gentle and comforting, making her close her eyes for a moment. Idle thoughts fill her head as she embraces her surroundings. As her mind wanders, she begins to idly toy with the cuff of her jacket. She kept it as clean as she could despite her circumstances, but there was a new stain on it that she knew she may never be able to rinse away. She looks down at her sleeve, her eyebrows furrowing as she acknowledges the stain. Conspicuous blotches of darkened blood line the sleeve of her jacket, no longer the bright red she remembered seeing when—
Not now, it’s not the right time for that mess
She notices some weird looks she gets as the darkened blood on her sweater catches the eyes of a few churchgoers. Her eyes dart down to the ground as she waits for them to walk by. Though she’s come to expect the hurtful, insensitive words thrown her way, she still feels a sting as she hears them. After all the years of being harassed, she wished she could no longer feel the beginnings of tears forming at the edges of her eyes.
Aubrey makes a motion to wipe her eyes of the bitter tears, but sighs when she realizes she almost wiped her face with the bloody sleeve. The metallic scent lingers for just a moment before she rolls up the white fabric, bringing the cuff just above her elbow. She then uses her left arm to wipe her face, making a half-hearted attempt to wash the memory of the past week from her mind.
The moment she opened her eyes, however, she immediately noticed the scar on her right arm. The cut, while not deep, did far more damage to her than the scar it left on her skin. It would always be a reminder of that day.
She should’ve been happy, no, elated to see her old friend back. But nothing about their reunion brought forth any emotion except for pure confusion. Miscommunication after miscommunication led to the standoff between herself and her supposed former friends. Though she was ultimately able to deter the two of them from lingering around her for too long, she couldn’t stop thinking about them. Not then, and especially not now.
Aubrey yawns, her eyes growing ever heavier as the sun shines overhead. A swath of rainbow lights cascade over her body, covering her in a mosaic of colors. She smiles, noting how the colors seem to make her into a living painting. Aubrey looks up at the stained glass window, admiring its craftsmanship. How anyone could think to turn such a dangerous thing into something so lovely was an enigma to her. Broken glass always made Aubrey uncomfortable. It was present when her parents would fight, or when she would get an empty bottle thrown at her because she was being “too disruptive.” She found cleaning it to be the worst part. What was once beautiful was now reduced to tiny shards, something to no longer be admired, rather dealt with.
I’m just a bunch of bits and pieces that have no right claiming to be a whole person.
Perhaps if things had gone better for her, Aubrey might have believed she could have been a much more radiant force in the world. She never found herself lacking in spirit, but often felt lost when it came to knowing what to do with her future. Especially now when things were so, so wrong.
The lull of the afternoon brought a drowsiness to the girl, drawing her to take a light nap where she sat. Her thoughts drift into quiet slumber, whispering the same thing over and over.
Why did everything go so wrong?