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Izuku’s heart broke—or at least, it felt like it.
Those words that Katsuki told him, the one’s that led to Izuku’s broken-hearted feelings he felt now, hurt Izuku deep inside because he loved the blond deeply and for so long.
There was not an exact point in time Izuku fell for him, he couldn’t even think of it. It was like Izuku mindlessly walked into love without even realizing it himself until he noticed how deep in it he really was a few weeks ago.
Because the words Katsuki said now hurt Izuku more, the deep conversations they had each night made Izuku dwell on his thoughts and made his mind work overtime. The playful banter they had with each other made Izuku feel warm and excited everytime, making him smile and feel like he could be floating in mid air.
It stung Izuku, to realize that he may not have a chance to tell the man he loved endlessly about his feelings without them being returned—because deep down inside, Izuku knew that Katsuki hadn’t felt the same way maybe never to begin with.
“Love? I don’t love people, I just tolerate them. Plus, I don’t even know how or what love even is.”
What Katsuki had said made Izuku feel like someone had punched his ribs and cracked them, making the bones protrude right through this lung, not allowing him to breathe properly. It felt like someone had pulled out his lungs from his chest, stomped all over them and stuffed them back into his chest, making sure he wouldn’t be able to breathe.
Because that’s exactly how Izuku felt. The sensation of not being able to breathe at all. The sensation of numbness and cold without the oxygen that floods throughout your entire body. The sensation of not giving your lungs the need of breath, the one key to live. The breath of air—the breath of life—that Izuku felt that had been taken from him.
Just a stupid boy right? A stupid, dumb, smart, blond, risked-his-life-and-saved-mine boy who Izuku dumbly fell hard for. This stupid boy knew all of the things Izuku liked, what he didn’t, his favorite foods and shows, his pet peeves and deepest secrets. This dumb boy even knew parts of Izuku that he didn’t know himself. This boy made Izuku feel like maybe, just maybe, love was an actual real thing that a small amount of people could obtain.
But no one told him it could hurt just as much—if not more—than being beaten by the top, most destructive super villain that terrorized the entire city. No one told Izuku that love was a dangerous thing, a thing that made him do reckless and unthinkable things. That made him feel so good at times but made him feel like he could cry endlessly because the man he loved didn’t love him back the way he did.
Izuku dreamt of love, the sensation of being loved by Katsuki. Them laughing and having the best times together, brushing hands so close together and the warmth of tight embraces they could’ve shared. The soft, passionate kissed they could’ve given, each one filled with utmost affection and intimacy that was better than the last.
“Tell me it’s love, tell me it’s real” The gentle, melancholic music played through Izuku’s earbuds as the tears from his eyes spilled out and onto his freckled cheeks as he looked out at the sunset that was beautiful and one Izuku had never seen before.
The stars that had been saved for the dark night had scattered all over the sky, some in the darker areas of the pink-orange sky that had been mixing in with the crepuscular hues of purple and navy blue. And some stars had made their way to the orange-red sundown sky that wasn’t as visible as the other stars but if you looked close enough, you could see the white dots twinkling in the vast distance.
Izuku walked over to his sliding window, opening it and letting the cool summer air ruffle his green curls and dry his wet salty tear-stained cheeks. He sighed sadly, looking at the ethereal sight in front of him and listened to the song that described what he felt and what he wanted.
All Izuku wanted was love. To be loved and to love Katsuki. To want Katsuki’s love to come into Izuku’s heart, feeling it slow like if it was his own dream in reality.
For Katsuki to touch him with a kiss, a tender, soft affectionate kiss that made them both realize it was real, raw love between the two of them.
“Touch me with a kiss, feel me on your lips”
The memories Izuku had daydreamed of him and Katsuki felt so sweet and heavenly. It was where Izuku wanted to be, it was where he ached to be at the moment. Where he could give Katsuki all of his love whether it be with loving embraces, meaningful words, or something more.
And even if Katsuki was far away, distance wise and feelings wise, Izuku would still feel the same for him. He would still love him indefinitely no matter what he did. No matter how much distance he put through both of them or how much time passes without him speaking a word to the blond, Izuku would still love him no less than he did now.