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The cold winter air fights its way in as Jisung tries and fails to close the window. "Jesus fuck, for once! Can you cooperate? it's freezing." He says more to himself. He grunts as he fights with his very stubborn window. A few violent punches to the frame and it finally shuts.
He sighs, falling to the floor. "Thank god!" He exhales, exhaustion taking over his very weak muscles. He should really start working out again.
Despite being able to close the window, somehow it was still freezing. He groans, rising from where he was seated on the floor of their—his, apartment.
He walks to the heater and tries to adjust the temperature. After fiddling with the controls for a few minutes he gives up, not being able to figure out how to work it. Curse Minho and his dumb idea to put the light switch, speaker and heater in one not very convenient contraption.
He walks to the kitchen and digs through the cupboards. Then realizing somehow, in the middle of fucking winter, he had no candles. He groans yet again, just his luck.
Jisung shouts in triumph as he fishes one very dusty candle from behind his collection of mugs.
Once he's gotten the candle out he examines it, turning it around in his hand. "Weird, I don't remember buying this." He whispers. He shrugs, deciding he probably just bought it a long time ago.
There was only half left of the candle but he thinks it should probably do. He stood up and pulled another drawer open, pulling the torch out and lighting the candle.
It smelled amazing.
The whole house was filled with the smell of vanilla and sunday mornings. He closes his eyes as he takes it in.
A certain pair of dark hazel eyes flash through his memory. The cat-like smile he adored so much, and the laugh that made his heart fill up with fondness. He opened his eyes, only to be met by an empty space.
He feels his shoulders relax, his figure slouching with the longing that's taken over him.
It's been nearly 8 months since they separated.
As much as he loved denying it, it hasn't been easy for him at all. He told his friends he was over Minho, but the truth is he was far from it. He still had trouble waking up on time, so used to having Minho kiss him awake when he missed his alarms. He only ate take out most of the time, used to having Minho, being the amazing chef that he is, cook for the both of them.
He missed laying on their bed, talking about anything and everything. He missed laughing his ass off while they watched their show. He missed the smell of Minho's scented shampoo, missed the softness of his hair.
Missed the way they kissed, and the way Minho melted in his arms.
He missed Minho.
They ended their relationship on mutual terms. He had no idea how they decided upon it but one day, they sat at their dining table and agreed that it was better for the both of them. They hardly had time for each other anyway.
Well, it was mostly just Jisung who was too busy. How he wished he could've done something, anything, to keep Minho from leaving, but nothing.
He just sat there, nodding to everything he said. At the time he thought it would be better for Minho. Minho deserved better than what he could give him.
But he loved Minho, so much.
If he could turn back time to make things better again. He would.
Just then his doorbell rings, jolting him awake from his train of thought. He jogged to the entrance, opening the door.
"Han Jisung?" The young delivery boy perked.
"Ah yes, how much was it again?" He asked, turning around to reach for his wallet on the table near the entrance. "$6.67, sir." The boy answered. He pulled out a ten and handed it to the boy, "Keep the change." He said, taking the pizza box from the kid. The boy smiled and walked away.
Jisung shut his door, walking back into his apartment. He placed the pizza on the dining table and pulled out a bottle of water from the fridge. Before he could sit down he caught a glimpse of the candle and reached for it. He placed it right next to him and continued to open the box.
He ate quietly, letting the deafening silence wash over him, calming whatever emotions he had lingering.
This was another thing he hated, eating alone. He missed sharing a meal with Minho. Back then, after Minho cooked yet another amazing dish he learnt that day, they would talk about their days. Minho would scold him when he'd get too excited, saying stuff like he shouldn't talk with his mouth full, or that he would choke on a potato he didn't finish chewing.
He promised himself he would get over him though. It was hard, but he had to. Minho's probably moved on. He was a catch, it was hard to think no one would drop to their knees for him.
After he ate, he put away the food he wasn't able to finish and took a long gulp of water. He threw away whatever trash was left and washed the cutlery he had used.
He was walking to the living room when he noticed that the candle he had placed on the table was nearly gone. He sighed, "So much for warmth."
He took the candle with him and sat on the couch. He watched the flame burn, something about it being so… luring.
After a few minutes, he squints his eyes. He swore there was something silver shining through the wax. "Huh?" He says.
He tried picking it out to no avail. He decided to wait till more of the wax had melted.
He sighed, throwing his head back.
Maybe it was one of those candles that had jewelry hidden in the wax, he thought. He looked at it again, swirling the melted wax to the side and out of the way of whatever it was.
Once a significant amount of the wax had gone, he carefully picked out what he now sees as a crumpled piece of foil. He successfully wiggles it out and unravels it.
As he's opening the piece of foil, he realizes what it was.
He felt like crying. He wanted to cry, but no tears were falling from his eyes. The only thing written on his face was pure shock. How could he have forgotten?
With shaky hands he opened the folded note that was in the foil. He sees the familiar writing and like a dam bursting at the seams his eyes become blurry with his sadness.
Dear, Jisungie
i hate this. you know i can never articulate my feelings. fuck whatever tiktok you saw. but, because i love you with all my heart (sarcastic) <3 i'm going along with whatever this is.
you mean a lot to me, Sungie. you know i can't imagine my life without you. a day without you is hard enough. plus i'm pretty sure you'd starve without me.
Jisung smiles through fuzzy vision. He wipes the tears that had fallen from his eyes, staining his cheeks.
you'll probably forget about this. u and your trends i swear sometimes i don't know how i spent most of my life with you.
Jisung laughs, although his heart was breaking into tiny little pieces.
i love you though. i love you so so much. i know sometimes i'm not so good at showing it, but i really do. aaanndd if you'd let me, i want to spend my retiring years with you.
cook you your favorite meals, wake you up every morning and cuddle you to bed.
you are my life han jisung.
i wouldn't want it any other way.
-linoring
Jisung's full on crying at this point. His tears refused to halt, falling from his face like a running faucet.
He missed Minho so much.
Why weren't the odds in their favor? Why didn't he beg Minho to stay? How could he let Minho walk out the door like he meant nothing to him?
He meant everything to him.
He sat there, cradling the letter close to his chest. Holding onto it like it was the only thing he had left of Minho. It probably was. Minho wasn't there anymore.
He's lost him.
Like something had finally snapped in him. He stood up. No, he refused to accept this reality. He didn't care if he had to beg Minho to come back. He'd do everything for him to take him back.
He fished his phone from his pocket, unlocking it as he walked to his door. He pulled his jacket from the rack and pulled it on whilst he scrolled through his contacts. Once he saw Minho's ID he pressed call.
He took his keys and opened his door.
Stopping in his tracks as he is met with the hazel brown eyes he had just been crying about, the eyes he adored so much.
There he was, standing right in front of him with his phone in hand, ringing with Jisung's display name flashing. It was like Minho was mirroring exactly what he looked like at that moment.
Minho had bags under his eyes, and he wasn't his usually composed self. He had his hoodie on backwards and his hat haphazardly thrown on his beautiful purple—oh that's new—hair.
"Hi?" Minho said with a smile so fond, it made Jisung's heart feel full.
"Hi."
He was there. It felt like the world froze around them, the steady beating of his heart the only thing he could hear. Jisung wanted to reach out, pull Minho in and never let go. Never again. But he knew he shouldn't.
He shakes off his trance and smiles, wider than he has in a while. "You… wanna come in?" And Minho smiles back.
They quietly walk into the apartment side by side, keeping only a few inches in distance. Jisung didn't know what he would do if he got any closer.
He led Minho to their living room. "Do you want anything?" Jisung asked, rubbing his sweatly palms on his sweats. God, did Minho still do things to him. Him just being there made the place ten times hotter than it was. Or maybe it was just his face burning up, Jisung couldn't tell.
"Oh, sorry. I wasn't really planning on staying long." Minho dejects. Oh. Stupid Jisung, the man probably just came for something he left. Or maybe he's engaged and he went to tell him about the oh so great news. No, that would be dumb.
Minho clears his throat after a few moments of silence. Jisung stumbles out of his trance yet again, "No, I insist." He laughs, turning to walk to the kitchen. "Plus, haven't seen you in so long, it wouldn't hurt to catch up." He masks with a wink.
He didn't know what he was doing. Letting your ex in your used to be shared apartment was not really one of his best ideas. All he knew is he didn't want Minho to go yet. Call him selfish, whatever. If this is the last time he's going to see the man he might as well savor it.
He moves with memory, pulling out their mugs from the cupboard. He had started making them coffee when Minho quietly lingered into the kitchen.
"Jesus, Sungie. When was the last time you cleaned my kitchen?" He hums, teasingly. my kitchen, Minho says. Lord save him, he would probably lose it before the end of the night.
Jisung whips his head towards Minho, who was now leaning on the kitchen island. "Excuse me?! I've been very gentle with your beloved equipment." Minho's bubbling laughter sparks something inside him.
"In my defense, I rarely even cook. So there's nothing much to clean."
"Seems so, with how many takeout boxes there are in the trash." Minho continues to laugh.
Jisung doesn't stay quiet much longer, laughing with him as he puts sugar and creamer in his coffee and leaves Minho's as it is. “Well, you were the cook between the two of us.” He places them on the counter, "Here's your coffee, chef. Hopefully it isn't as bad as my omelets."
"Nothing can be as bad as your omelets."
"Hey!" Jisung pouts.
"I'm joking, Sung. I meant your omelets are really the only edible thing you've ever made." Minho says with a smug grin. God, He wanted nothing more than to kiss it off his face. But alas, he couldn’t.
"Now that's just mean." He whines instead. They take a sip of their coffee in peace. Minho groans out of nowhere startling Jisung. He hums, "You still know me so well! Did you know, I haven't had a good cup of coffee in so long."
"Why? it's not even that hard to make." Jisung tilts his head in amusement as he watches Minho close his eyes as he takes another long sip of his coffee. "You would think, right? But somehow it's always either too sweet or too strong."
"How can you be an amazing cook and not know how to make your own coffee?" It was his turn to sport a teasing grin. It doesn't last though, 'cause soon enough Minho's smirking again.
"You think I'm an amazing chef." It wasn't even a question. Jisung hated that he wasn't even wrong. He thought Minho was an amazing chef. He could spend hours just watching Minho glide through the kitchen whilst he cooked yet another masterpiece that made Jisung's knees weak.
Not that he'd ever admit it though.
"Yeah, yeah. You and your inflated ego." Jisung sticks his tongue out, before walking back to the living room, Minho trailing behind him.
He sat on the couch, and Minho did the same.
They sat in comfortable silence as they drank their cups of coffee. He didn't know why he offered coffee, it was like 10 pm. But Jisung decided he didn't care. He could worry about it later. When Minho isn't here, and he's crying in his tub.
Basking in each other's presence. It took so much of Jisung's self control to not snuggle into Minho. Being this close to the older after months has him realizing just how touch deprived he is. Man, when was the last time he was in physical contact with another person besides that definitely too young to be working pizza boy?
He not so subtly scoots closer, clearing his throat as he sets his empty mug down. "So!" He starts, maybe a bit too loud. Minho jerks back, "God, you couldn't wait for me to finish my coffee?" Minho shakes his head the same way he used to do when Jisung was up to no good.
Jisung hated the way it made his heart flutter with that warm feeling again.
"W-Well, uhm, whatever. You can drink it later." He stuttered, following Minho's movements as he placed his own cup down too, right next to Jisung's.
There it goes again. Jisung's sure he's as red as cherries at this point.
Something about Minho had always made him feel like he was a hopelessly in love teenager again. He didn't know how he let work make him forget how being in love with Minho felt like.
"I assume you have something to say? I mean, considering you've traveled this far."
It was Minho's turn to stammer. Jisung watches Minho's fingers scratch the tip of his nose, just where his mole was. He had realized back then when they were still together that it was one of the things Minho did when he was nervous. He found it really endearing, to be absolutely honest.
"Yeah, I did have something to say." Minho said, voice teetering from a whisper to inaudible. "You called me too though. So I get it, you have something to say too?"
they pause, Minho awkwardly gesturing towards Jisung.
"Oh yeah," Jisung forces a laugh, "Yeah I do too."
They just stare at each other for a while. Minho watching Jisung's face, as Jisung searches Minho's.
Jisung didn't know what he was looking for, but he was looking for any sign that Minho was going to break some horrible news to him. Like how maybe he suddenly became straight and is now the father of a newborn. Which is—actually very unlikely. 'Cause they broke up 8 months ago, so unless Minho had been cheating on him with a woman it wasn't really possible for him to suddenly become a father. Well, that's excluding the chance of adoption—
It was like Minho had noticed the intricate gears of Jisung's brain going haywire, he took the younger's hand into his.
Jisung's mind finally goes quiet. The only thing occupying his mind was Minho.
He lets himself feel the warmth of Minho's hand on his own shivering skin.
"It’s just that,” Minho starts, “I saw this and I remember that we said when we finished the candles we would give them back to each other. You probably don’t remember it…” He said, pulling out the glass jar of what used to be a candle. But now it was cleaned, and there lies the note he had written for Minho more or less 10 months ago.
Minho took the note and placed it in Jisung’s hand. He then looks up to meet Jisung’s sorrowful ones, but instead of pity, Jisung sees just as much longing.
Jisung then burst into tears. He didn't know what else to do at that point. Minho had looked at him with all the love in the world and he felt so shitty after everything that happened. After everything he did and didn’t do. After he let Minho leave so easily.
Minho took Jisung's face into his hands, wiping Jisung’s tears with the pads of his thumbs.
Jisung continued to bawl, "I hurt you so much, Minho. I’m so sorry. It fucking sucks 'cause I love you. But I've been nothing but a jerk to you. I got so caught up with work that I forgot just how much you meant to me."
Minho still had Jisung's face squished into his hands, which made Jisung's words a bit garbled but still somehow coherent. Minho's head tilted with a smile as he watched Jisung snot over himself.
He loved this boy so much it hurt.
"My Jisungie, I love you so much." He pulls Jisung into a hug, cradling the poor sobbing boy into his chest. Jisung kept sniffling into Minho's shirt. He lifted his hand to run through Jisung’s hair to try and sooth him. He closes his eyes.
The past few months for him weren't easy either. You’d think He’d be okay since he was the one who called things off, but no. Even after nearly a year, he still loved his Jisung just as much as the first time.
Once Jisung’s crying had subsided and he was only letting out a few quiet hiccups he straightened him again so that they were face to face. Minho melts at the sight of Jisung. His cheeks were puffy and red and his eyes were swollen. He loved this boy so much.
So he does it. He leans in to kiss Jisung, his Jisungie.
He didn’t care if technically they weren’t together anymore. Shit, he didn’t even care if Jisung already had a boyfriend. They’d deal with it after. He just wanted to feel Jisung’s lips against his again.
Soon enough Jisung is kissing back with just as much force.
Minho’s thumbs caress Jisung’s cheeks as their lips danced. Jisung’s arms circled his neck, pulling him closer. And just like that they were the only people in the world. Everything stops, Jisung’s mind is silent, Minho’s heart is beating out of his chest, neither of them felt cold anymore.
They finally had each other again.
Nothing will ever pull them apart again.
Of course, they still needed to breathe so Minho pulled away so that they at least had a few centimeters of distance to breathe. He smiles against the younger’s lips, “God, I missed you.” He pecks him one last time before actually pulling away.
Jisung remained stunned, lips swollen and eyes blown. He looked so lost, and yet felt so… home.
Minho stands, hitting his knees to break the trance that they had fallen in. “So! C’mon help me rummage through the fridge. I’m not gonna let you eat take out again, for at least 8 months.” He jokes, jogging to the kitchen. Jisung smiled as he watched the older man wander through their apartment.
“I don’t have much, probably just a few ketchup packets and a week old chicken leg from KFC.”
He hears the older groan. He giggles to himself, happy that he could tease the older again. He rises to the couch and enters the kitchen too. Once he’s there, he sees Minho pull out a few packs of bacon from the freezer and a bag of fingerling potatoes he didn’t know he had. “Remind me to go grocery shopping for you. Your fridge is a disappointment. You don’t even have eggs!” Minho rambles as he places everything on the counter.
Jisung walked towards Minho who had his back turned, wrapping his arms around his waist and placing his chin on his shoulder. “We have all the time in the world. I’d rather have you for myself for the next few days.”
“Not if you starve to death. Now, shoo… Your days of home cooked meals start now.”