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"so, hyung, any plans for your birthday?" jungwon comes up to jay on one april morning. it’s only a few weeks until their first comeback, and well, jay’s just really focused on doing everything he can so that he’ll be satisfied with the way he performs on stage. and if he’s being honest, he kind of forgot that his birthday falls on april too.
jay looks at the group’s leader standing in front of him in the living room. leave it up to jungwon, who always takes notes of the birthdays of his members.
"i’m just planning to spend it with engenes through a vlive. then maybe, spend it with you guys afterwards." jay replies to jungwon.
jungwon was about to reply, but ni-ki beats their leader to it by saying, "you’re so boring, hyung."
"not what i wanted to say, but yes you do have a point, riki." jungwon tells their maknae, who sat beside jay on the couch. the leader then ruffles the youngest's hair as he leaves jay and ni-ki in the living room.
ni-ki doesn't complain (of course, it's his jungwon-hyung doing that to him), which makes jay confused.
(but that's a story for another time.)
jay shakes his head and laughs. he really doesn’t know how he’ll spend his birthday this year. he just knows that if there’s one person he’d want to spend it with, then it would probably be with-
"heeseung-hyung" jay’s head shoots up from his phone to the guy whose attention got called by ni-ki.
"yes, ni-ki?" heeseung replies, walking closer to where jay was seated.
"tell jay-hyung that his plans for his birthday are boring." the youngest replies. heeseung chuckles at this as he sits on jay’s other side.
jay resumes looking at his phone, browsing through twitter and seeing some pictures of the birthday ads their fans have prepared for him. this alone warms jay’s heart. he’s thankful he chose this path.
heeseung, upon noticing that jay was smiling, got curious and asked him.
"why are you smiling, jongseong-ah?" jay then looks at the older man seated beside him as he smiles even wider.
"just saw some of the birthday ads for me, hyung." heeseung nods at this reply. they stare into each other’s eyes a little longer until jay realizes what they’re doing and breaks the eye contact.
he rubs his nape, then heeseung speaks again. "so, what are your plans for your birthday?"
ah, there it is. jay thinks, and he’s trying his best to come up with good plans other than the ones he told jungwon earlier, or the ones he really wants (like: spend the rest of the evening with you, after my vlive hyung, then maybe hold your hand as we walk on our way home).
"spend time with engenes through a vlive then spend time with you guys." jay replies.
"ah, riki was right. you’re boring."
"i’m not boring." jay looks up from his phone, looking into heeseung’s bambi like eyes again. who stares back at him too.
"then," heeseung pauses, contemplating if he should say the next words or not.
"then what, hyung?" jay asks him
"after your vlive, which all the members will be present in, by the way," jay hums as he waits for heeseung to say the next words.
"spend the rest of the evening with me." heeseung finishes with a smile on his face. and jay’s brain short circuits.
do what with him? he asks himself. he might have thought of this for a long time, for heeseung speaks again.
"uh," the older man scratches his nape, then chuckles nervously, "it’s okay if you don’t want to. i was just thinking maybe we could, uh-"
"we could do whatever you want, hyung. i mean, sure, it’s my birthday, but we can do whatever you want." jay cuts him off.
heeseung’s eyes widen, not really believing what jay said.
"are you sure?" he asks.
jay nods at heeseung, assuring him that he’ll be fine.
(he’s with heeseung, of course he’ll be fine.)
"okay, cool!" heeseung says in english as he proceeds to stand up from the couch.
jay is left dumbfounded, still sitting down. wondering what the hell just happened ?
heeseung really hasn’t planned anything special for the birthday of his best friend of almost 5 years. he did ask sunghoon and jake (whom he found lying next to each other on jake’s bunk in their shared bedroom, by the way) what he should do for jay. the words came out of his mouth all of a sudden, and he didn’t want to disappoint jay by saying he really didn’t have anything planned.
"i think, anything would make him happy, hyung." jake replies as he tilts his head to look at him.
"of course he'll be happy. he's with you," sunghoon adds helpfully. heeseung, on the other hand, is unable to conceal the flush that has appeared on his cheeks.
the two boys started laughing loudly while teasing heeseung but he pays no attention to them and leaves the room. he wishes he was like jake or maybe even like sunghoon, who could openly express his affections for jay. he really doesn’t know what’s going on between jake and sunghoon, but he knows that whatever set-up they’re in, both of them are happy with it.
heeseung silently hopes that he can be happy with jay too.
(once heeseung has closed the door, the couple back in the bedroom started talking about him and jay.
"jakey" sunghoon calls out to his boyfriend as he moves to wrap his arm around jake’s waist. jake can feel sunghoon’s breath on his neck.
"mhm?" jake replies as he moves his arms to hold sunghoon’s hands clasped around his waist and sunghoon snuggles closer.
"should we suggest to heeseung-hyung that he should confess to jay?"
jake chuckles at his boyfriend. "let’s let them figure it out, sunghoonie."
sunghoon whines, as he unlatches himself from jake and proceeds to sit down.
"but it’s been almost 3 years, jakey. you’re lucky you didn’t witness the 2 and a half years of pining. "
jake looks at sunghoon, silently telling him to go on.
“even sunoo went to me one time and told me that jay talks about heeseung-hyung way too much. and all sunoo does is to tell jay to confess but he never listens.”
"well," jake slowly sits down and faces his boyfriend, "let’s help sunoo out and suggest it to jay instead."
sunghoon grins at his boyfriend and pecks his lips.
"you’re so smart, i love you."
jake returns the big grin his boyfriend has and replies, "i love you too."
on days like these, despite having a busy schedule ahead of them, jake and sunghoon are thankful that they can spend their time together in the bedroom without any distractions. they know that they should just tell the members so that they finally know, but that should be for another time. they enjoy sharing their secret with jungwon, and well, the other members think that them being touchy with each other is a normal occurrence. they keep claiming they’re soulmates after all.)
later, when only the 02z were left in the kitchen, they suggested it to jay.
the eldest 02z almost chokes on his water when he hears it.
"you guys are out of your minds." jay tells them.
"quit the pining, jay-ah. it’s been 3 years, and it’s obvious that heeseung-hyung has a thing for you too." sunghoon tells him.
"yeah, even the maknaes see it. i’m surprised engenes haven’t noticed yet. you’re really good at hiding when we’re in front of the cameras, you know.” jake adds
“what jake’s trying to say is, you’re the only one who can’t see how much heeseung-hyung likes you.”
jay looks at jake who only nods, siding with sunghoon.
"god," jay puts down the glass of water on the counter. "i hate it when you both agree on something." he says as he leaves jake and sunghoon in the kitchen.
"it’s your loss if you don’t do it!" sunghoon shouts at jay’s retreating figure. the two boys left in the kitchen chuckle as they shake their heads.
well, let’s just say that the suggestion didn’t let jay sleep well that night.
after the vlive for jay’s 19th birthday (which turned out to be fun, by the way), the five other members greeted jay as they packed their belongings. all of them had a tiring day from practice, and as much as they wanted to stay with jay a little longer, both jake and sunghoon informed the younger members that something important was going to happen to the two eldest members tonight.
heeseung decided to stay behind as jay talked to their manager (asking him if heeseung and he could go home a little later than everyone else, to which he agreed—surprisingly). their manager hyung pats jay on the back, and tells jay to take care of himself and of heeseung.
jay looks at heeseung who was waiting for him at the door of where they held their vlive. heeseung was still wearing the outfit he prepared for jay’s birthday. and if jay is being honest, he really loved liked the outfit on his heeseung-hyung, and thinks he should wear it more often.
"let’s go?" jay was brought back to reality by heeseung, who was scrolling through his phone, looking at the reactions of their engenes during the birthday vlive of jay with the members. jay nods and gets his bag.
once out of the building, the two walked to the park together. they found a bench to sit on. they weren’t too visible in this part of the park, and both idols were thankful for that. at least it’s a little private.
when heeseung asked jay again what he wanted to do for his "alone time" with him on his birthday, the younger had a different reply. he simply replied that he wanted to sit beside him (which may or may not have awakened the butterflies in heeseung’s stomach).
jay removes the pair of his airpods from its case and gives one to heeseung.
"what’s this for?" heeseung asks the birthday celebrant beside him.
"i’ve been listening to this song by seventeen sunbaenim, and i thought we should listen to it together." jay tells heeseung but not without breaking eye contact in the middle of the sentence.
(he’s shy, okay? let him be.)
"hyung," jay starts, facing the empty park. he’s not going to look at heeseung and try to gauge his reaction through the dim street lights.
"jongseong," heeseung softly whispers.
"i know i haven’t been the best at being honest with what i feel," jay pauses and heeseung waits for him to continue.
"i can sometimes be honest with the other members about this, but i don’t think i can really be honest with you." jay faces heeseung who was looking at him, confusion painted on his face.
"what i’m trying to say is," jay swallows, "when i heard this song, it reminded me of you, and it reminded me of how we used to talk to each other about debuting together." he chuckles. "well, look at us now. we’re in enhypen, and i couldn’t be more thankful to you because you were with me all along. hyung," jay averts his gaze to heeseung’s glassy eyes (is my heeseung-hyung about to cry?)
"now that i’m 19, well, i think it’s safe to say that i have been in love with you for the last 3 years of my life. and i know i wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for you." a lone tear falls on heeseung’s cheek.
"why are you crying, heeseung-hyung?" jay’s voice cracks as he lets his own tears fall down.
"what’s the song, jongseong" heeseung asks him.
and jay presses the play button on his apple music. 9-teen by seventeen plays through the earphones they share.
as the song ends, heeseung states the words that jay never expected.
"you know, that’s not actually a love song, right?"
jay laughs at him but answers the older one anyway, "i know, hyung. but i’m 19 and the whole song basically explains how I feel about you and what i’m willing to do for you, so i guess that’s enough."
heeseung moves closer to jay and adjusts his position so that he’s now facing him. jay does the same, and heeseung takes this as a cue to put his arms around jay. jay freezes but hugs heeseung back.
"and if it isn’t that obvious yet, i’m in love with you too, jongseong-ah."
heeseung makes sure that their foreheads are touching as he reaches out to cup jay’s cheeks. jay smiles widely, and he thinks that he might look weird, but he doesn’t care. the older man moves jay’s head as he kisses his forehead.
"hyung!" jay whines.
"later, okay? when we’re at the dorm." and jay (reluctantly) agrees.
when they came home with their hands intertwined, all the members were already asleep, and only the two of them were left in the living room. jay asks heeseung to go to their dorm’s balcony.
heeseung wraps his arms around jay’s waist as jay faces heeseung.
"it’s still your birthday, jongseong." heeseung whispers through the small gap between their faces. (it was 11:57 pm of april 20, 2021)
"happy 19th birthday to me." jay whispers back as he closes the gap between him and heeseung.
when they separate, but with their foreheads still touching, heeseung speaks again.
"when i turn 20 this year, i’ll make sure to sing 20 by seventeen just for you."
"so you want me to be your morning?" jay asks heeseung.
"and i want you to be my night."
heeseung reconnects their lips, and jay thinks, this is the best birthday i've had in a while.