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Lyn-Z was sitting on the couch, watching Bandit doodle a cat with a large reddish felt tip marker. She was already honing in on the artistic skills that her daddy had passed onto her. It was hard not to smile when she ran up to her mum and a huge smile plastered on her face, showing the picture and chanting “I’m gonna be like Daddy! I’m gonna be like Daddy!”
Lyn-Z took the drawing and let her eyes rake over it. Talent was spilling from the curved lines etched onto the construction paper.
“Why don’t we put it up in Daddy’s art station?” She suggested.
Bandit’s eyes lit up as she nodded.
Her mum took her hand and let the little one lead them to Gerard’s office in which he tended to create in. The walls were decorated in paintings done by fans, letters they’d written him, and pictures of him and his family.
She lifted Bandit up so she could tape her drawing next to a very neatly written cursive letter that had “Dear Hero,” looped around the top line.
Lyn-Z looked around the room and smiled. It was amazing that her husband had this sort of impact on people.
She looked to the wall in front of his desktop and saw a few sheets of paper taped to the wood behind it. Bandit squirmed out of her arms and ran off somewhere, so she leaned forward a bit.
There was six sheets of paper pinned to the wall, all symmetrical, and they all had something to do with My Chemical Romance.
One was a painted sketch of the guys, all from Revenge era. Gee was leaning against Frank, who was leaning against Mikey, who was leaning against Ray. One of them was simply Mikey and him, Danger Days era, standing in front of each other with Gerard’s arm raised to Mikey’s shoulder and the words “Don’t be afraid to keep on living” painted around their beings.
The next was just Gee- well, technically. It was present day him standing behind The Cheers him who had a bottle in his hands and bloodstained suit on. His hand was resting on his own shoulder as a speech bubble above present day him was saying, “It gets better, I promise.”
Lyn-Z loved that one most.
The next two were very detailed drawings of Frank’s tattoos? Yes, that’s definitely what the paper was depicting, there was no doubt about it. That scorpion could belong on no one else’s neck and those hands with “Halloween” and “Bookworm” scrawled over the knuckles could belong to none other than Frank Iero.
The last painting was them- Gee and Frank. On stage. ln one of their famous kisses. One of the firsts actually, judging by what they were dressed in. It was drawn to expert precision, the details perfect. In fact, the last three looked almost professional.
She edged closer, placing her hand on the desk to lean in, and upon further inspection she saw that the last three were indeed done by a professional. All of the last three had Gerard’s signature printed in a tiny font on the bottom right corner.
She smiled sadly. She knew how much Gee missed him. And not just Frank- all of the guys, with the exclusion of Mikey considering they were brothers and saw each other at least twice a week. Her fingers brushed a picture frame that was soon being inspected by the bassist.
It was a picture of Bandit from last Halloween. She was sitting next to a bass and pointing at it whilst her candy lay forgotten all around her. A huge smile was on her face. On the back, written in Gerard’s hand writing, was “And here we see Bandit taking after her uncle.”
And maybe me? Lyn-Z thought to herself with a laugh.
She put the picture back on the desk and for the first time, saw that he had quite a lot of pictures lining the back of the table, all leaning against the wall.
There was him and Mikey last year on Mikey’s birthday, a picture of Gee with Bandit as a newborn, both sleeping soundly with the little lump of child resting on his chest. There was Bandit again, drawing something hidden from the view of the camera.
Then came a picture of MCR, taken a few months before the break-up. They all looked tired and anxious, but Gerard seemed at ease. He was fast asleep on Frank.
The last was just a picture of him and Frank. It was pretty recent, Frank’s hair was a matted mess on top of his head and Gee’s hair was that god awful ketchup shade that everyone begged him to dye. They were standing next to each other, arms around the other’s waist. Frank had a tight smile on that showed no teeth, his hand was clenched into a fist. Gee was holding a tiny plastic skeleton, his face sporting the same, slightly constipated expression the man next to him was wearing.
Lyn-Z picked up the picture, running delicate fingers over the glass and flipping it over.
It had been scratched out, but there was no doubt about what was once written there.
“We were young, and we were so very stupid, but goddammit, we were in love. I think I still am.”
It’s not like she didn’t know, because she did. It was so painfully obvious. Everyone who knew the band knew that Gee and Frank weren’t just friends, knew that they weren’t stage gay, knew that whatever was between them was strong and painful and bound to last a lifetime no matter how many times they convinced themselves that there was nothing there and they had moved on, they still loved each other.
She set the photograph down and made a split second decision.
“Mikey?” She called into the receiver when he answered. “I’m getting the gang back together.”
And that’s how it happened. Six hours later, the members of My Chemical Romance, with wives and children, were gathered in their living room.
All but one.
The Iero’s seemed to be missing.
“Did they say they were coming? Did Frank confirm?”
Ray looked down. “Listen, I just talked to Jamia. She said she wanted to come. She missed us and knew her kids would want to… to meet Bandit, but I never talked to him.”
She sighed and looked to Mikey who told a similar story.
Lyn-Z checked the time on her phone. “Gee is gonna be home any minute… So I guess… they just won’t come.”
And then there was a knock on the door, followed by the chatter of three young children.
She lit up and so did everyone in the room.
“They’re here!” Kristen spoke in a radiant tone.
Lyn-Z rushed to the door and opened it.
“Jam..ia?”
The other woman looked down. “Frank uh- Frank isn’t coming.”
“But it’s… It’s his birthday.” She couldn’t keep the sadness and disappointment out of her voice.
Jamia nodded, looking just as solemn. “I- I know. I tried to reason with him, I know how much he misses him, but he’s so stubborn and hurt… He’s still-”
“I know. Gee too.” She paused but then stood aside. “But please come in. I know how much it will mean to him that you guys are here.”
Jamia pushed the kids inside lightly and soon followed.
Their kids ran off together, Bandit was eager to show her new friends her room. All of the adults smiled at the companionship that was going to come so naturally to them.
A few minutes later, there was the sound of keys jingling in the door. Gerard walked in, brushing light hair from his eyes.
“Hey, brother!” Mikey smiled.
The sound of his little brother’s voice brought his attention up from his phone. He looked around the living room at all the people in a circle.
“Oh my, god.” He breathed as he covered his mouth. Tears were forming in his eyes and threatening to spill over as he rushed forward to gather as many people he could in his tiny arms and hug them.
“What are you guys doing here?” He laughed.
“It’s your birthday. I figured I’d give you something I knew you wanted.” Lyn-Z spoke.
Gee turned his attention towards his wife and hugged her hard. “Thank you so much.”
His eyes scanned the room falling on Jamia who was wearing a weary smile. He cocked his head slightly and then the sadness came. It invaded his eyes and he tried to swallow it down, but the emotion hooked itself into his being too deep and wasn’t going to unlatch any time soon.
He nodded a little and dropped his focus on the ground.
“Bandit?”
“She’s with- She’s with Miles, Cherry, and Lily.” Jamia said quietly.
“Your kids are here?”
A nod.
“Oh my, god. Can I meet them?”
She smiled, genuinely this time but that weariness still lurked somewhere, maybe on her lipstick. “That would be amazing.”
He walked back to Bandit’s room and knocked on the open door and waited in the frame until he heard a little “Come in.” Gerard stepped inside and smiled at the sight before him.
Bandit, Cherry, Lily, and Miles were all sitting in a circle drawing pictures of tiny stick people. Her CD player was on and he recognized the voice instantly.
Frank’s voice was reverberating off of the walls.
“Hey Band.” He spoke softly to not disturb the children.
“Daddy!” She squealed and jumped into his arms. “Happy birthday!”
He hugged his teeny creation to him. “Thank you, my love. Who are these friends?”
Bandit ran over and grabbed the hands of the three kids and pulled them over to her dad. “This is Cherry and Lily- they’re twins, and this is their little brother, Miles. They have a younger brother just like you, Daddy!”
Gerard squatted down so he was on their level and shook each of their tiny hands. “Hi,” He smiled. “I’m-”
“Gewward.” The little boy said, the way his mouth wasn’t fully developed showing as he struggled to pronounce the ‘R’ in the beginning of his name.
“How do you know that?”
Cherry spoke up. “Daddy has pictures of you and him up.”
The comment made his heart flip over and constrict in a bittersweet kind of way. He held in tears as he said, “Does he?”
All three of Frank’s children nodded together.
He was tempted to ask them where their dad was tonight, but decided against it. He wasn’t here, that’s all Gerard knew and maybe it should be kept that way.
“Well I’ll leave you kids to it.” Gee stood back up. “Have fun.”
He made his way back to living room where all the adults were sitting. Alcohol was excluded from the party which both of the Way brothers were thankful for. They really just sat and talked, ordered pizza, ate, and talked some more. But with every sound the world outside the house made, Gerard couldn’t help the way his neck snapped towards the door in hopes of it being the only person who was missing from their get together.
Mikey leaned in. “Did you know it started raining?”
The sudden sound so close to his ear caused him to jump a little. But the short burst of fear turned into confusion. “What?”
“Listen.”
Gerard zeroed in on the sounds and noticed that his little brother was right. It was raining.
“When did that happen?”
“A few hours ago.”
“Why did you-”
“Because you need to get out of your head. You aren’t paying attention.”
Gee’s head turned towards the door. “I just want him here…” He said quietly, not trusting his voice enough to raise it above a whisper.
“I know... “
“Guess it’s sorta silly of me to think he’ll still come, right?”
Mikey shrugged. “I mean, no. It’s obvious he’s still in love with you.”
The eldest Way choked on his drink and gawked at his brother. “How- Why-”
“I’m your brother,” Mikey took his hand and placed it on Gerard’s shoulder. “and I know you much better than you give me credit for. I also know him much better than anyone thinks I do.”
“Do you think he’ll come?”
Mikey only shrugged. “The night’s still young. He still has time.”
The clock soon read 11:30 and the kids were fast asleep. No one wanted to wake any of them so they all decided that Frank’s kids could stay the night and they’d be by in the morning to get them.
Everyone was filing out until only Lyn-Z and Gee remained.
She looked to him and touched her hand to his cheek. “I’m sorry.”
He quickly wiped his sad expression away. “What for? That was perfect.”
Lyn-Z blinked a few times. “I know how badly you want to see him. How much you miss him.”
Gerard ripped away from her touch. “Why won’t anyone say his name?! I know who you’re talking about! Don’t say him! Tiptoeing around the name… makes it.. worse…” His burst of anger was soon over and he deflated, falling backwards onto his bed. “His name is Frank Anthony Iero.”
Lyn-Z sat next to him. “That doesn’t change the fact that you miss him.”
“Fine. I miss him. I miss Frank.” His eyes were shut, arm slung over his forehead. “I miss what we had and I miss how I used to make him smile. I miss his laugh. I miss the way he would breathe. I miss his tattoos… I miss his eyes. I miss everything about him.”
She patted his forearm and moved to the bed at the other end of the room.
In the morning, all four kids were up trying to cook what might have been pancakes. Gee was woken up by the smell of smoke and whilst he was attempting to help the mess, there was a knock at the door.
He rushed towards the sound and flung it open.
There, standing just outside, was Frank Iero.
Gerard was frozen in place, eyes wide with surprise and a thousand other emotions that he couldn’t find a name for. He swallowed hard, thinking his fear and anxiety would go down with his saliva, but the second the door opened his mouth went dry like he’d been eating sawdust.
Frank and him made a moment of eye contact but neither was strong enough to withstand the others piercing eyes, so the fleeting moment was quickly broken.
“I’m here for.. the kids.” He muttered.
“Uhm,” Gerard had a better poker face than the shorter man, thanks to the time in which he hid addictions and cuts from his closest friends, so his voice was slightly stronger. Slightly. “They’re eating breakfast. You can- uh- you can join them? Or come back later if you want? It’s up to you.”
He shook his head profusely and went to turn. “I’ll just come back later.”
“Okay, I lied!” Gee exclaimed, launching forward and gripping Frank’s upper arm. “It isn’t up to you. Stay.”
The eyes his ex-not-ex shot him made him rethink the command.
“Please stay. Please stay.”
A small smile cracked the hard mask that Frank was trying so desperately to keep on his face. “Fine.” He said, though the tone of it didn’t sound as tired as he tried to make it.
When Frank entered the dining room his children attacked him in a hug. He giggled and wrapped his arms around all three of them at once.
“Have you met them?” Frank questioned.
Gee nodded but went to the table and stood behind his daughter, one hand on her head.
“Frankie- Frank-” He quickly corrected himself when he saw the way the other man’s shoulders raised. “This is my girl. This is Bandit.”
Frank walked on his knees over to the little girl on the chair, her feet dangling off and not even hitting the ground due to her height. He smiled brightly at her and Gee could help the way his heart swelled at the sight.
“Hi Bandit,” He shook her hand. “I’m Frank. I used to be friends with your daddy.”
That hit Gerard like a sack of bricks straight to the heart. He thought that having his still beating heart ripped out his chest and devoured in front of him would’ve hurt less than the 'use to be friends' did.
“Used to be?” He choked out.
Frank’s eyes shot to the man standing above him.
“I- I-” He stammered, trying to think of something that would make up for what he said.
“Are we not anymore? Did twelve years mean nothing to you? Did you forget about all of those nights that we-”
“I’m gonna take the kids out!” Lyn-Z called as she herded the tiny people out the door, purse slung over her shoulder.
As soon as the door was closed Gerard laughed bitterly.
“Just fuckin’ leave.”
“What?”
He shrugged. “You don’t want to be here, you didn’t come last night, and apparently we aren’t friends anymore. Why do you need to be here if I don’t-”
“If you don’t what?”
“IF I DON’T MATTER TO YOU!” He couldn’t help the volume of his voice, he was just angry and sad and hurt and he was thanking god that Lyn-Z had taken the kids out of there.
The statement brought a confused look to Frank’s face. “Is that what you think? That you don’t matter to me?”
“Well, yeah. I’ve called you and left you messages and voicemails and do I ever get a reply? No. Just admit it. You treat me like this because you fuckin’ hate me.”
“Oh my, god. You’re so dense sometimes.”
If ‘??????’ was an expression Gerard would have it painted all over his face.
“I treat you like I do because I’m in love with you. Still in love with you, actually. I just- if you get too close you infect me with your smile. Your aura gets in my veins and no matter how loud I turn my music your laugh is always the loudest thing in my head. I’m married, Gee, and I can’t feel that way.”
Gerard slumped down on the couch, unable to stand. He thought that this whole thing was one sided, that Frank was just pissed off at him and that’s why he wouldn’t keep in contact with him.
“Really?”
The brunette rolled his eyes and sat down on the sofa next to the older of the two. “Did you even listen to my album?”
“Yes! It was so good! It was-”
“About you.”
There was that ‘?????’ look again.
“For someone so smart, you can’t read in between the lines very well. Did you really listen to it?”
“Yeah, I heard-”
“Did you listen with your ears or your heart?”
Gerard thought back, rethinking all of the lyrics. And then it hit him.
“Oh my, god!” He cried, throwing his arms around the others neck. “I didn’t throw you away! You are what I wanted- what I want! You- I- I’m such an idiot…”
That goofy smile that he’d missed so much was displayed proudly. Gerard could feel Frank’s fingers running through his hair and he mewled a little, pushing into the touch like a cat.
He was breathing in the younger man’s cologne and noticed that it hadn’t been changed since the last time they’d embrace and he found the comfort that he had been missing for the last couple of years.
A nuclear bomb could’ve gone off right next to the two of them and neither would have noticed. And this was only hugging.
Frank pulled away first and dragged his finger across Gee’s cheekbones. He kissed the tip of his nose, his chin, his forehead, and both eyelids. His fingers touching Gerard’s lips light like butterfly kisses.
“I’ve missed this.” He admitted shyly.
“I have too.”
“I didn’t think we’d ever- I didn’t think I’d get the chance to do this again.”
“Then shut up and kiss me.”
And so the former bandmates lived happily ever after. Their wives, clever as clever could be, saw this coming from a mile away and were oh so very understanding.
When Ray and Mikey heard the news Ray simply handed Mikey twenty bucks and said, “Man, I thought it’d take them longer.”
The kids barely noticed a change.