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" — I'm pregnant. "
She wished she could be this direct.
Brought together by a single commission, she'd never imagined that that fateful encounter would become more.
More than just being the vigilant yaksha and a mere traveller, they eventually understood each other and grew close enough to be more than friends.
Loved enough to be considered lovers, but too obligated to their goals and duties for anything to be properly established.The blurred lines made them careless. So when desperation, love, and lust peaked that night, they were swept off their feet so easily.
It had been two weeks since she discovered the result of that night growing inside her, and she still hadn't told Xiao. in fact, she had been avoiding him like he was plague.
She no longer sat with him in the tree atop Wangshu Inn. They haven't spoken, looked, or touched; it was mostly her avoiding all these.Though, there was no denying that she missed Xiao. It felt like it's been ages since she had truly reached out to him.
At times, she had caught herself longing to catch a glimpse of him. Her eyes always wandered to the roofs or cliffs, hoping yet fearing she would find him there.
She kept her encounters with him to the minimum by occupying herself with all the commissions she could get.
It wasn't a good idea going around, especially to monsters she was tasked to eliminate while she was expecting but she just had to—
Backing away, she ducked, evading the axe the mitachurl swung at her.
—anything to just... not think about Xiao or the growing child in her womb she had yet to make known to the yaksha.
Her hand flew to her mouth; her reflex to save herself was enough to arouse another wave of morning sickness up her oesophagus. She knew she was about to barf again.
She swore inwardly at how the world seemed to spin, staggering back once more to avoid another aggressive swing coming for her head.
The angry giant growled and stomped its foot, frustrated and annoyed to miss again.
It was only until her back met the rocky wall of a towering cliff that she realized she had backed herself into a dead-end.
Well, shit.
Her eyes searched for an opening as the growling mitachurl closed in. If she could just slip past it and...
And what?
An icy hand closed around her heart.
She could barely even move without throwing up the contents in her stomach. How was she going to make it past the monster and run when she couldn't even dodge an attack without feeling the world spin?
Her knuckles turned white as her hand tightened its grip on her sword.
His name lingering in her head sat on her tongue, but hesitation made her bite down on the urge.
Squinting against the light hitting her eyes when she looked up at the approaching monster, black dots danced in her vision. what the...
...oh no.
Always hitting the road as the traveller she is, it wasn't her first time losing consciousness in battles, so she could tell the instant the specks of darkness began clouding.
Not now...not here, please —
Darkness was closing in the corners of her eyes anyway despite her plea with herself to stay conscious.
Her knees buckled under her, and that was it — her strength was abandoning her fast. From between her fluttering eyelids, her swaying vision clouded as she felt her body fall forward.
"... Xiao ." his name slipped through, a whisper so weak it was as quiet as her next exhale as her eyes fell shut.
Amongst the thick fog swallowing her up, her ears picked up a painful sound caught between a roar and grunt, though it sounded distant; then it was followed by a loud thud.
The last she felt and heard before she was completely lost to the darkness was a body of warmth enclosing itself around hers, and panic amidst a low, masculine voice calling out her name.
Holding her to him, the first place or rather person who came to mind was Verr Goldet; it was more like an impulse to do so than a thought as he hurried over to the inn for the boss.
Back against a wall of the room he occupied amongst the mortals in Wangshu Inn, Xiao watched with crossed arms over his chest, his fingers digging lightly into his biceps as Verr busied herself with her.
Piercing eyes watched her like an eagle, occasionally darting over to the boss who he had learned to know over time as he resided in the inn, that she possessed basic Liyue medical knowledge from her husband who she left to run the inn below in the meantime.
Xiao watched the boss press two fingers to her wrist and eyed the frown pinching between Verr's forehead.
Thinking nothing of it, his eyes wandered back to her with questions he longed to ask running in his head once again.
Why hadn't she come to see him like she always did? The last he saw her and had a proper conversation was...
A quiet blush dusted on his cheeks, his body remembering every bit and moment as his memories reminded him. That night wasn't the last time he had interacted with her, but it was etched like a stubborn ink in his memories of her.
Shaking off those thoughts, a disturbing reason springing out of nowhere whispered doubt and fear into his heart.
—what they did that night was abrupt, so what if she was having regrets doing...that with him?
Was that why she seemed so desperate to get away whenever he tried to reach out to her?
Xiao felt his heart sink along with guilt and disappointment.
...also, that sickly pale complexion he noticed on her face as he held her to his chest.
His fingers tightened around his arms, digging harshly into his biceps as his lips pressed together in a stiff line.
—did he somehow accidentally cause her to fall sick because of the karmic debt he was tainted with?
His teeth gritted in frustration as a tight ball of anger at himself curled in his chest
He was right at the beginning when he refused contact with her. He should have stuck to his words when he warned her to stay away.
— he should be the one who stayed away.
".... Xiao ..."
A furrow clenched between his brows.
In the backdrop of his noisy thoughts, there was a sound of someone clearing their throat with a purposeful cough.
"... Xiao —!"
The adeptus jerked his head up, jolting right out of his thoughts to find Verr looking pointedly at him with a somewhat impatient look on her face.
He blinked in stunned silence.
"Thank you for coming back to Teyvat, dear Guardian Yaksha." the sarcasm couldn't be more obvious in her tone, "I've been trying to get your attention for the past...what? five minutes, i think?"
"...sorry," Xiao straightened up from the wall behind, arms dropping to his sides. "...was just thinking," he mumbled, adding a sheepish cough as he averted his eyes away from Verr's gaze.
A smirking curl stretched a side of Verr's lips, amused but it was quickly dropped as she remembered the diagnosis she had concluded from her assessment.
"Right anyway, I've gotten a good grasp of what's going on with her."
This brought Xiao to his full attention. "What, what is it? What's wrong with her?" the adeptus took a few steps forward, eyes glancing over at the bed. "is she sick?"
Verr held up a hand, signalling him to stop his barrage of questions. Another hum of amusement curled a smirk on her lips.
Before the traveller came into the picture, she'd never seen the adeptus this talkative or much less, see him around mortals including her and her husband. His presence in Wangshu Inn was almost ghostly.
Even as someone who had a knack for reading people, she had a hard time understanding the yaksha.
Those eyes used to remind her of the marsh nearby when it froze in the winter. there was always something beneath but if anyone were to try to look past the surface, they see nothing but reflections of themselves.
As she stood across him now, she could see concern, fear and the most obvious to her was love. She knew that emotion well enough from her years with her husband; it was plain to her no matter how much he tried to keep them at bay.
"No, she isn't sick," Verr shook her head at the confusion quiet on his face. "and there's definitely nothing wrong with her." she chuckled. She could see him trying to maintain a calm demeanour.
Xiao inched forward to the bed, wanting to assess her himself but didn't, holding his tracks. "Then what is it?"
"Oh nothing," a smile played across her face. "She's just pregnant."
there was a tense pause before...
"—what?"
A groggy groan stifled in her throat as consciousness stirred her awake. Her eyes which hadn't seen light for a while were reluctant to open, but when they did, she winced right away.
... so bright .
She felt her body protest in aches and stiffness as she turned away from the light. Feeling her fingers sink slightly into a soft cushion, she looked through squinting lids to find herself...on a bed?
A familiar scent drifted into her nose as her hand lightly dug into the softness under her.
Where...
As if to answer her confusion, the memory of her backing away from a mitachurl came jolting her out of her grogginess.
Questions swarming in her head, she sat up with movements stifled by the aches in her muscles. Her eyes wandered up from the blanket over her, then to the familiar door.
Xiao.
She swallowed thickly when she realized where she was; the last thing she remembered before she fainted was his name.
...he came to save her after all.
Eyes flying wide, she moved a hand to her abdomen in alarm. D-Did he notice...? her heart raced.
She is nearly three months into this pregnancy, and there is only slight curvature right there — an observation ran through her head as her hand drifted over her belly.
Xiao wouldn't notice, right? Even if he did, he probably wouldn't think much about it
—relief blew through her lips in a sigh as she was comforted by her own reassurance.
Calmed down, she stood from the bed. She should probably leave.
Noting her belongings propped against the wall on the far left, her hands moved up to the soft sash around her waist, only to pause.
...how long was she going to keep this pregnancy from Xiao? until she was due? or until she lose it to an accidental miscarriage?
A heavy sigh left her. everything she was doing just felt wrong .
Even so, the doubt and fear in her easily won over whenever rational thoughts suggested to tell him.
She will eventually, she silently promised. not today, but...definitely soon . She just had to find the courage to do so.
Her gaze was full of troubling thoughts as her eyes fell to where her hands lingered on, fingers working to loosen the sash holding the white sleeping garment to her.
She didn't hear the door open or Xiao's footsteps as he entered and approached.
Amber eyes on her back were somewhat harsh with silent frustration but subtly tender as he stopped a small distance behind her, hesitating.
His arms ached to wrap themselves around her waist. There was something about the way she looked from the back.
The slim, delicate set of shoulders peeking out at him from the loosened garment ignited another surge of protectiveness in him — as if the news of a baby, highly possible was his , she carried in her womb was not enough.
Xiao didn't give in to his urge and instead, chose to lock his arms over his chest. "You just woke up,yet you're already leaving?"
He heard her take in a sharp breath as she snapped around to face him.
"...Xiao!" a hand flew to her heart, clearly startled by his sudden appearance.
"Sorry," her reaction jerked him into apologising, "...i didn't mean to give you a scare." the hard glint in his gaze softened. "Are you..." his eyes scanned her, studying her cautiously. "...are you okay?" his brows knitted in concern as he returned his gaze to hers.
"yeah..." a smile strained on her lips as she looked away.
The dread she felt upon waking was back and strong as her eyes stared adamantly at the floor.
She couldn't bring herself to leave...
Not when he was right here. Standing before her, he was not even close enough to be felt but his presence in the room was enough to break down her resistance. She just wanted to be with him. her feelings and the bond with him made things so plain and simple, but...in reality, things really weren't so.
"I'm sorry, Xiao, " she forced herself to move, "but I really need to go now."
Despite being held down by sentiments, parting words left her as she turned her back to him.
"Thanks for saving me, I was—"
A gasp sifting sharply through her lips cut her off mid-sentence as she felt herself being pulled back by a hand planted below her breasts into a sturdy chest.
"—no, don't leave." eyes staring in shock at her feet, she could feel Xiao's heat enveloping her as he held her to him.
His shoulders leaned over hers, lips hovering above her ear. "I know," he said, his other hand slipping around her waist, and his eyes followed.
Her breath hitched in her throat, "...I already know." as his hand drifted down to where it was met with a bump small, but easily detectable when he ran a gentle hand over it.
"This baby...it's mine, isn't it?" While his voice was even and low as it always is, it was also unmistakably tender to her ears when he asked, though she found it hard to believe that it was from Xiao.
The warmth of his palm could be felt on her lower belly as his hand paused.
She closed her eyes for a remorseful second, swallowing thickly.
"...Y-Yes." her words shook as emotions she held in herself over the time agonising over her discovery stirred the presence of tears.
"I'm sorry," Xiao didn't miss the way she let out a stifled breath when she answered or the way her shaking voice was tight with the urge to cry. "..it must have been frightening for you."
No doubt, he was scared too.
The second he was aware of the new life, the reasons behind her actions clicked. He understood why she kept it a secret and that she had to stay away from him to do so, though he wished she didn't.
Connecting the dots between that night and her pregnancy, he found himself torn between fear, doubt, guilt, denial, anger at himself, and a small lift of...happiness.
It took him an intense period of time to accept the possibility, with the karmic debt he carried and what he did as the guardian yaksha factored into his thoughts. Fatherhood was not something he was ready for, in fact, something he didn't think suited him.
However because it was her, he would make himself so.
"I know why you kept your distance, but you really didn't have to." Xiao paused, remembering his old warning to her to stay away with a frown, "I might have told you that last time but with what I'd done to you, you think I can cast you aside and pretend nothing happened?"
A deep breath, and hesitation. "...I'm not doing this out of obligation." pink dusted his cheeks. an earnest tug at his heartstrings urged him on. "I hope you know that you matter to me more than just being the mother of my child."
It was unlike him to be so open about his feelings, but there was something about the situation they were in that made him realise that she needed to hear this.
—and indeed, she did; for her heart felt like it was shuddering in her chest at his words as emotions swelled within. "Xiao..."
Tears were brimming in her eyes as she suddenly turned in his arms, surprising him as she threw her arms around him, burying her face into his chest. "I really didn't want to keep this from you but I...I...just didn't know how."
Pulling her head away to look up at Xiao through a tearful vision, "but I hope you're not...angry."
"Angry?" hand caressing her cheek, he thumbed away her tears sitting at the corners of her eyes, and when he was done, his eyes met her nervous gaze.
his hand slipped down to press his palm to the side of her pregnant bump, "angry at you for hiding this...no."
The look in his eyes suddenly turned harsh. "—but,"
Not expecting the irritation in his voice and the way he snapped at her, she stiffened with a startled blink.
Xiao glared at her. "...angry at you for going out there to fight monsters and demons, recklessly endangering yourself and our child...yes, very angry."
Sheepish, her mouth opened to explain but was quickly shut down by the pleading gaze she'd never seen on Xiao's face. "I was worried when I saw how pale you looked. but after learning that you're...you're..."
With a flash of what looked like an agonized glint in his piercing eyes, Xiao cast a lingering glance down at where his hand rested. He didn't need to say more, she understood just by looking at his expression and couldn't help feeling guilty.
There was a stutter of hesitation in the way his gaze left the bump cradled in his hand to meet hers; an action she couldn’t help gasping silently to, surprised.
"Those monsters..." Xiao reluctantly let his hand drop away.
"They are my duty, so could you please promise me not to do something as reckless as that?"
amber eyes sought hers, searching for her response in her eyes as if he was too desperate to wait for her reply. "...please?"
She found herself unable to respond, stunned by this foreign side of the adeptus. It had to take her a moment to process the vulnerability in his face and the affections his caressing hand displayed over their unborn child.
soon, she found her voice again. "I promise you, Xiao," her heart was shaken at his demeanor. "and I'm sorry..."
She saw tension dissipate from his shoulders at her words, the tightness in his face softening as he leaned in.
Closing his eyes with a shuddering sigh, his forehead gently bumped hers, the tip of their noses nearly touching. "...thank you." The way his voice cracked in what sounded to her was desperate gratitude almost made her cry again.
And she eventually did.