Work Text:
changmin sank into his seat as he took one last photo of the airport grounds.
good bye, for a while.
he captioned the photo, as he hit the tweet button. changmin knows no one follows the account where he posted the photo but it just feels good to do so. that's actually the reason why he posted the photo there, on a dump account.
because changmin doesn't want anyone to know where he's going. not even his parents, nor his best friend.
"changmin-ah," chanhee whined, as if his whining could change changmin's mind. "it's been three years since you've been doing that, aren't you tired of traveling alone?"
changmin chuckled, "chanhee-ssi, that's actually the sole reason why i’ve been traveling for years now.” changmin said as he folded his baby blue shirt into his luggage. “don’t get me wrong, i love hanging out with you,— and please i am never going to repeat that ew, remove that smug smile on your face.” changmin almost threw chanhee a piece of clothing that was near his grasp.
“as i was saying, although i enjoy hanging out with your annoying ass, i really need alone time, even just for a few days,” changmin said softly, as he saw how chanhee’s upturned smile turned downwards.
“plus, i’m only there for a week. you’ll not even notice i’m gone.”
as if you’ll notice, you’ll be busy with younghoon to even notice days have gone by already, is what changmin wants to add but decided not to.
one of the few reasons he’s been traveling alone was that he doesn’t want to feel alone with his fluck of friends who are all taken and in a relationship. no, don’t get him wrong, changmin loves to see his friends happy with their significant other. but one thing he doesn’t like is to see his friends looking at him like he’s some loser and single on the heart’s day. which was not entirely wrong, changmin admits.
changmin thought it’d be better to feel single and a loser in a place where no one knows him, and where could it be better?
in the city of love.
he's been flying to paris every 10th of february, and he'll come back home by 15th or sometimes even earlier. it actually depends on his mood, whether he liked to stay for a bit longer, or end his trip short.
he started scanning the movies that are available for streaming on the plane. he was about to put the right side of his earphones when he received a text message, right before he turned his phone to airplane mode.
juyeon
>take care.
changmin stared at his phone so long that the flight attendant started tapping on his shoulder telling him to turn off his phone for the take off. he obeyed, and then tucked his phone in the left-hand pocket of his carry-on bag.
changmin doesn't remember telling juyeon of his plans, and changmin doesn't want where his train of thoughts were heading to so he immediately dismissed it. maybe chanhee told him.
changmin has to lie to himself and thinks that he was convinced with the thought.
changmin took a photo of the blurry streets as his cab took him to his accommodation. he then uploaded it to his —paris thread, 2022 on his dump account.
it has always been the same hotel building since he started going to paris every year. it's that one hotel near louvre. it has the greatest view, especially at night, which is why changmin has decided to book a room at the building again, for the third time. the ambiance of the lobby doesn't feel unfamiliar to changmin anymore. the hotel staff in the front desk were already smiling as changmin pulled his luggages towards the counter.
"bonjour, monsieur changmin ji," the staff threw him one glance as they typed something on their computer. "still room number 115?"
changmin nodded giddly towards the attendant, "yes, still 115." his cheeks bunching up with how hard he smiles. in the meantime, he looks around the lobby, as if looking for someone, which the attendant took notice of.
"are you perhaps looking for the same bellboy who assisted you last year?" the attendant spoke in a crisp, english tone, but still with a gentle smile on their face.
changmin nodded, getting it immediately even without further explanation, "yeah, him. is he off-duty today?"
"no, monsieur. sadly, he resigned last year, just two months after you checked out." the attendant said as their eyes still focused on the monitor of their computer. the attendant threw a comforting smile to changmin as they slid his key card wrapped in a piece of paper. "he was actually here earlier, too bad you didn't catch him."
"that's too bad," changmin smiled softly towards the attendant that even after 3 years of staying here for a few days, he still doesn't know the name of.
"anyway, here's your key card. and this paper right here, is a new list of numbers to call because we changed lines a few months ago." the staff continued to orient him to some of the changes in the establishment.
changmin picked up the key card and the paper by the counter. "this is great. thank you so much. see you around?" changmin said as he spun his luggage around towards the elevator. the attendant answered him back with a wave of their hand.
changmin didn't expect to love this place so much that he even made friends with people he doesn't know, people who he doesn't spend much time with, even with people who he only sees a few times a year. he loved it to the point that it made him come back every year.
and what he loved even more in this place is that, every year he comes back here, there's always new things to try, new things to experience, new places to go, and people to observe. of course, he still loved things that stood still in their places—museums, art galleries, libraries, the louvre. the aroma of the baked goods from the bakery down the street still sends changmin some sort of nostalgia everytime it hits his nose. the flower shop across his building reminds him why he pursued his sister to open their own flower shop back at home.
as soon as he entered, he noticed a few things that had changed in his room (he's claiming it as his own already) other than the corded telephone that the staff told him about earlier. it seems like they also changed the wallpaper to a faded floral patterns. changmin loved that it was a little bit desaturated, not those kinds of patterns with hard blotches of color that changmin hates so much. he also noticed the flowers on a ceramic vase on top of his bedside table. changmin guessed it's only just a few days ago that they were changed. he thanked his sister and her flower shop for the tiny piece of knowledge he picked up.
he finished unpacking his stuff, most of it just his clothes by 1pm, which was past his lunch time already. he picked a striped long sleeve polo to change into, and wore the same puffy jacket to get down and grab lunch at the hotel's diner.
once he was back at the ground floor, he smiled towards the staff behind the counter again and waved his hand. he continued to stride towards the diner, his foot already knowing where to go even without looking in front.
which was a bad idea, changmin thought belatedly, as he bumped into a stranger as he headed straight to the right for the diner.
"i'm sorry, oh my god. i wasn't looking where i was going," he said in a haste as he continued to bow towards the person. he quickly scanned the other person to check if they were in pain, and luckily changmin didn't see the other person clutching at any part of their body.
"it's fine, it's okay." the other person said in a hurried and deep tone as he cleared his throat. the man fixed his hood on top of his head, even though it wasn't affected by their clash.
changmin thought it was weird wearing the hood of his jacket even inside the building, but did not say anything about it, just another "sorry, again" and one last bow before making a bee-line to the diner.
changmin was in the middle of eating his lunch when his mind reverted back to the person he bumped into earlier. changmin thinks they're oddly familiar to be a french local.
right after his lunch, changmin decided to take a nap back at his room. and at 5 o'clock, he got up to take a quick walk around, familiarizing himself again with the establishments and stalls around his hotel building before dining at a local café a few blocks away from his accomodation. at 11pm, changmin decides to open his phone for the first time since he arrived, just to update his parents and chanhee that he arrived safely. and successfully blocking chanhee's indirect request of facetiming, telling chanhee he's not that sly enough to be fooled.
on the 12th of february, changmin spends his breakfast at the café just right across his building, talking with the lady behind the glass cabinet of baked goods. the rest of his day was spent in a library a few minutes away by bus ride from his hotel. he was lucky enough to find his favorite book among the shelves of best reviewed books. he also brought his notebook for taking notes, whether an annotation from his favorite book, or a new french word he found while browsing books that were printed in french. and at dinner, he spends it back at the diner inside his hotel building.
on the 13th, he planned to check out this busy alley in the afternoon. it was mentioned by the hotel staff to him the other day. they said changmin can spot the best travel souvenirs there and the food they serve at stalls was fantastic.
he arrived at the alley sometime around 2pm, it was very busy and packed with tourists and locals alike. there were stalls selling souvenirs— t-shirts that were printed with ‘i love paris’ on the chest part. there were also eiffel tower graphic tees, and keychains. there were food stalls anywhere he looked, establishments blasting out local french and foreign music too.
the scenery right in front of changmin’s eyes reminds him so much of home, how he loved (and hated) going to hongdae because of how loud and loaded of people it was, but it is where changmin always finds the best tteokbokki.
after hours of checking different stalls and establishments, he now has a bag full of souvenirs he’s ready to take home at the end of his trip and feet aching from so much walking he had done. he’s got an eiffel tower snow globe for his mom, he remembered how she loved collecting snow globes, an ‘i ❤ paris’ shirt for chanhee and younghoon to tease them with, but he actually got a pen for chanhee and three camera film rolls for younghoon. changmin smiled as he thought of chanhee’s growing love for writing even though he just started writing back in december, and younghoon with his undying love for taking photos. for kevin and jacob, he got them both a matching bucket hats. he remembered how those two loved wearing them and he thought of buying them a matching one.
he was taking his 5th picture of the busy alley on its 5pm glow when he saw it.
or more accurately, him.
an all too familiar mop of black hair, sharp jawline, single piercing on his left ear, visibly fit body through the tight hug of his leather jacket, and a solid stance that's too hard not to notice.
changmin was scared to blink because what if once he opens his eyes, he's magically gone from where he was standing? what if he was just a figment of changmin's imagination. his brain's realistic rendering of the man he's been thinking of for a few days now. much often than before, much more often than when he's back at home.
changmin picked up his steps closer to the man, struggling to make his way through the wave of people walking opposite of his direction. and it's as if his brain was actually playing with him, that the moment he steps foot near the stall where he saw him, he's gone. it's as if the magic trick has expired and he vanished out of thin air.
changmin grasped a handful of his hair and pulled it hard. he chuckled to himself as his palm moved from his scalp to his cheek, his head shaking with disbelief. "it's just 6pm. it's still too early to dream, changmin-ah." he whispered to himself as he started to walk back towards the exit of the alley, where he was actually supposed to go before he saw a figment of his imagination.
changmin turned around sharply, making him bump into someone from behind him, again.
"i'm very sorry," he said without looking at the person's face. he was about to take a step to his right when the man spoke.
"it's alright."
now that made changmin really snap his head back towards the owner of that deep voice.
you’re really here, he thought.
“yeah, i am,” and then a soft chuckle. “you can pinch me if you’re still doubtful.”
“did… did i say that out loud?” changmin scrunched his eyebrows. “uhm…” he cleared his throat. he really doesn’t know what to say. does he want him to be here? what—
“what are you doing here?” a deep sigh, because clearly, changmin still cannot believe it.
“why are you here in paris? juyeon?”
“uhm, about that…” juyeon reached for the back of his nape as he looked anywhere besides changmin.
“come on, juyeon. i told no one of my whereabouts. so you should be here for other reasons." changmin craned his neck to look at juyeon. "work? are you here for work?”
“can we move somewhere else first? just not in the middle of the street.”
changmin totally forgot that they were still standing in the middle of the alley. he looked around and juyeon was right. he can see people looking weirdly at them, their eyes prying. they may be thinking that there was some kind of drama going on between them and that is somehow right.
he huffed a breath as he grabbed juyeon’s right arm and pulled him through the exit of the alley. the whole bus ride was eerily silent, although changmin can feel juyeon’s stare burn the back of his ear, and he can clearly see juyeon looking at him through the glass window. his neck be damned, he won’t look at juyeon.
that is until they reached the hotel building changmin was staying at. “do you want to talk here? my room’s just upstairs.” he offered as they stopped in front of the entrance, still not looking at juyeon. “or do you want to go to your hotel building?”
juyeon shot his brows upwards, “yours. let’s go to yours.” juyeon replied hurriedly, in which changmin just nodded, his eyes narrowing with his weird tone.
just as usual, he waved his hand towards the front desk attendant, which was reciprocated with a wave as well, and a little side eye glance to changmin and the man behind him.
“monsieur! how are you liking your stay here?” the friendly attendant said. changmin was about to answer the attendant with full glee when he noticed that they were actually not talking to him but to juyeon.
“uh—”
“what?! you're staying here?”
juyeon took a sharp inhale through his teeth, his square smile a little bit more guilty-looking than changmin would like. while juyeon saw the attendant cover their mouth with their hand, it's like they knew they said something they shouldn't. and little by little, changmin’s suspicion is growing wild.
“juyeon…” he jumped at changmin’s tone.
to changmin’s defense, he was not actually threatening. he was just asking, still asking nicely. juyeon knows changmin’s patience is running out.
“i uhm… actually, yeah i booked a room here, too.” he said with his head ducked. juyeon is now sure that changmin's patience will run out even before they reach his floor.
“are you for real?” changmin’s voice was almost a whisper. his face stoic as they stood in front of the elevator waiting for the lift.
"ugh!" he exasperated and he rolled his eyes when he didn't get any answer from juyeon. he just stared at the metal doors of the elevator with sharp eyes. juyeon was scared the door might melt even before they could go up.
"bonsoir?" changmin spoke in his crisp french tone. he decided to just order from the room service for their dinner since he knows he might not measure his violent reactions if ever they decide to talk and eat dinner at the diner.
"can we have shrimp pasta, rib-eye steak and…" changmin looked at juyeon, who was sitting beside the windows. he covered the bottom part of the telephone to ask juyeon what he wanted to eat for dinner. "what do you want to order, juyeon-ah?" it's the first time changmin spoke in korean again, it's just been a few days since staying in paris but it made him feel weird immediately.
"i'll just get the same as yours," juyeon answered him, his hand fidgeting around his phone. he got a quiet 'alright' from changmin, and then he went back to talking to the person on the other end of the line.
"i'm sorry can i just get two servings of the things that i ordered? thank you. and oh! can we also have a bottle of wine please? thank you so much! … yes, right. thank you." changmin sighed as he dropped the call. he walked towards his closet to pick a comfortable shirt to change into when he heard juyeon.
"i think that's the most thank you's i've heard from you in a single sentence." he teased, which made changmin almost throw the pillow behind him.
"you don't get to tease me tonight, juyeon. you still have a lot to tell me." he said as he walked towards his bathroom to change his clothes. and just as he was about to enter the bathroom when he stopped right at the door to look back at juyeon.
"oh hey, if you want to change into something comfortable, just go. i'm sure the food might take some time before it arrives." changmin said to juyeon which he got a curt nod from the latter.
changmin was almost done with his skincare when he heard the doorbell of his room ringing. he immediately patted his face with a towel as he walked towards his door when juyeon beat him to it.
"oh, thank you." changmin said as he walked back to the bathroom to hang his towel. "you already got changed? that fast?" he asked as he walked towards juyeon who was arranging their dinner on the table.
"my room is just… a few doors down the aisle."
"huh— juyeon, you're getting more suspicious. you know that, right? and you really have a lot to tell me." he said as he sat in front of juyeon at their tiny table.
"so, what are you doing here? in paris, exactly?" changmin started as he spun his fork in his pasta. "you have some business to attend to?" he asked as he looked at juyeon through his lashes.
"hmm, something like that." juyeon said. changmin picked up his glass and threw him a glance through the mouth of it as he saw him nod.
"uh-huh..." he's just getting along with it. he knows juyeon is somewhat lying to him. "so, do you have to meet someone here? you know, a client or something?" changmin said and took a bite from his baguette.
he saw juyeon look at him as he chewed his bread and then looked outside the window with a small smile on his face. he turned to changmin as he said, "yeah, yeah. that's right. actually, i already met him a few hours ago." juyeon nodded as he fed himself a fork-full of pasta.
"oh yeah? was it near the alley ear—"
"ji changmin."
"what?"
"that was his name. the one i'm supposed to meet." juyeon said, then sipped on his glass. his brow shot up and his lips turned upwards into a smirk as he saw how confused changmin was.
"uh, what? juyeon, i don't think i get it. you're here… to see me? wha—" he cut off his own sentence and roamed his eyes around the room and drank all of the contents of his glass. he needed to look elsewhere, anywhere beside juyeon's face.
"who told you i'm here? i mean, no one knew where i was, not even chanhee—"
"but i don't need chanhee to tell me." juyeon shook his head as he ate another fork-full of his pasta. seamingly more calm than changmin now.
"need? what do you mean? how—" changmin sighed, he's suddenly feeling tired. of his trip earlier or this talk with juyeon, changmin really doesn't know. "can you just… tell me everything? so we can finish up here."
juyeon took the bottle of wine and poured some onto changmin's glass as he nodded. "i followed you here."
juyeon saw how changmin's mouth opened to speak, "oh? shush— i thought you said you wanted me to talk?" juyeon let out a giggle as he saw changmin animatedly close his mouth, his eyes hanging half-open. "why are you pissed right now? i was just doing what you said."
changmin rolled his eyes and said, "whatever. just continue."
"okay, so. i followed you here right, and—"
"so how did you know i was flying to paris?"
"— i followed you the day of your flight to the airport, and then i saw that you're flying to paris. and so i immediately booked a flight to paris." juyeon shook his head again as he clicked his tounge. "you're really a stubborn one, ji changmin."
"even without knowing where i'm heading, you still followed me? juyeon, what kind of—"
"it's because i like you." juyeon said, as he looked straight into changmin's eyes. "i followed you here to say that i like you."
changmin's grip on his glass tightened. he clearly did not expect that. he looked into juyeon's eyes for good measure, checking if he's playing with him again. but changmin saw not even a bit of humor in his eyes. all he saw was seriousness, stern. his eyes were stern, so dead set on telling changmin more through his eyes than his words can.
"i know i already told you that 3 years ago, but i just felt the need to tell it to you again. regardless of your location."
"so you'll follow me even to the depths of hell?" changmin giggled. he giggled to stop his incoming tears from falling. he knows that'll be sooner than later with the way his throat's starting to constrict, making changmin gasp and gulp aggressively.
"even to the depths of hell, wherever that is." juyeon said, his eyes making crescents with how hard he smiles. until it's gone. it's like something dawned on him.
oh no.
"wait…" juyeon said, his eyes transfixed into nothingness. "3 years ago." juyeon added, more like whispering to himself.
changmin downed his drink again as he panicked. and poured water in his glass instead of wine. he realized he'd had enough drinking for the night.
"you started traveling 3 years ago, right?" juyeon eyed changmin, who slowly nodded as he confirmed what juyeon said.
juyeon leaned his back on to his chair like he finally figured out the most insane puzzle he's been playing for so long.
"no way… changmin did you run to paris after i confessed?" juyeon let out a sigh.
"why?"
"i don't know, i just…" juyeon followed changmin with his eyes as he took his glass of water and then stood up from his chair. he walked towards his window and leaned his back on the sill. "i guess, i just needed to get away for a while. i don't know, juyeon-ah."
juyeon stood up too, and followed changmin to the windows, "you can just reject me, changmin-ah… it's really fine—"
"but i don't want to," changmin sighed as he turned his back to juyeon, facing the glowing lights of night time paris below him.
"that's the thing, juyo. i don't want to reject you." he looked back at juyeon once and smiled a little.
"i don't know what to do back then, so i just… ran. i don't want to reject you because i like you, too. i just don't know how to tell you." he said as he walked to his bed and fetched his phone to take pictures of his lovely view below him.
"i was so overwhelmed that the only thing i knew was to pack my things and hop on the plane as soon as i can. i'm sorry, i didn't tell you." he was holding his phone steady towards the view. there is regret laced on changmin's voice as he finally told juyeon everything.
and juyeon just watched changmin who busied himself with taking photos. he's bathed with warm orange lights from the light fixtures near the window, and it made changmin look more like home—fuzzy, cuddly, warm.
juyeon thought that home will always be a place, but he never thought that home can also be a person.
juyeon thought for the first time in his life that changmin is his home.
"changmin-ah," juyeon called, which changmin snapped his head to.
snap.
juyeon took a photo of his home. that's what they said, right? take a photo, it'll last longer.
"what the hell was that?" changmin giggled as he realized that juyeon just took a photo of him.
"you could've just asked, you know? i wasn't ready! one more?" juyeon took one more photo of his gummy smile, which was more blurry than the first one with how much his shoulders were shaking from laughter.
"come on, last one?"
"changmin, we're about to take off. keep your phone now," juyeon said, but clearly, changmin wouldn't just budge off.
"it's been my tradition, juyo. just shut up and let me do this. come on, give me your hand." he said as he laid out his hand flat, ready to take juyeon's much larger hands in his.
juyeon rolled his eyes but still obeyed, as he placed his hand on top of changmin's. "that's just easy, isn't it?"
juyeon felt his fingers move inside changmin's tiny hands. he saw how much larger his hand is compared to changmin now that their fingers were intertwined.
changmin maneuvered their hands towards the window near their seat. changmin tuts as he almost stumbled over juyeon who was sitting beside the window, in which juyeon just giggled and stuck his tongue out just to tease changmin.
after a few minutes before the pilot makes their announcements about their take off, changmin decides 10 photos were already enough.
changmin sank into his seat as he composed a new tweet to post the picture of their hands sticking on the glass window with the airport grounds as the background, to conclude his—their paris trip.
—paris, 2022. end of thread.