Chapter Text
Kurosaki Ichigo groaned at the chipper sound of his cellphone and flipped to the other side of the bed, now facing the window, pretending that his ears weren’t bleeding due to his notification’s ringtone. After an even louder huff, Ichigo’s eyes slowly welcomed the bright lights that brought life to the white walls of his boring room as a big yawn escaped from his lips.
He sat on the bed and gave his cheeks a comforting pat ⎯ which was actually more like a wake-up slap, before reaching for his phone and checking if someone was in trouble.
By someone, Ichigo hadn’t meant himself, but as he scrolled through his unread messages, it seemed that was the case.
[Renji] Happy Valentine’s, dude! Make sure to spend your day with your big blue kitty or he’ll be MAD.
[Rukia] Happy Valentine’s, Ichigo! Don’t forget about the chocolates, Grimmjow will definitely love them!
[Orihime] Happy Valentine’s day, Kurosaki-kun! Make sure not to spend it alone or you’ll be cursed for seven years. I’m sure Grimmjow-kun would love the company!
[Ishida] I hope you get enough courage to confess today, Kurosaki. It’s disgustingly frustrating to be in the same room as you and Grimmjow, so do something about it.
[Chad] Good luck, Ichigo.
Apparently, Ichigo hadn’t been as subtle as he thought whenever Grimmjow was around. He hadn’t noticed at first, how his eyes chased after those blue sparkling orbs that lighted up his whole body, how he felt a tingling in the hands around Zangetsu when they were sparring together, begging for a small touch, how he had no trouble identifying Grimmjow’s reiatsu from miles away and even feel his own practically vibrating in resonance. Ichigo had blamed it on adrenaline, on the thrills of a good fight that only Grimmjow could provide him with, on the kind of friendship they’d developed after the war. That certainly explained the happiness, the wide grin on Ichigo’s face when Wednesday came around and he traveled to Urahara’s bunker to meet with the blue-eyed beast that was once his enemy.
But that didn’t explain why always at the end of it Ichigo felt once again empty.
His friends were the ones who pointed out his irrational and stupid crush on the arrancar. They knew Ichigo’s favorite day of the week was Wednesday, which was almost as sacred as a visit to the shrine in order to pray, and they were also aware that although Ichigo hated every single celebration held at Urahara’s, he would still show up just to blush at the sight of Grimmjow in his gigai and flash him a teasing smile for being now closer to a weakling human.
It had been Orihime who first brought up the subject while Ichigo was walking her home after another late night party.
“You’re not very fond of Urahara’s festivities, are you Kurosaki-kun?”
Ichigo frowned at her, shoving both hands inside his jean’s pockets and then staring at the sky with softened features. “Not really, but it’s nice to see everyone well and having fun.”
Orihime hummed loudly. “I do wonder why you choose to go anyway. Maybe it could be because of Grimmjow-kun?”
Ichigo almost tripped, face rapidly flushing in embarrassment as he turned to Orihime with wide eyes. “G-Grimmjow!? What does that idiot have to do with this?”
A delicate hand paused in front of Orihime’s mouth to hide a laugh that escaped in response to Ichigo’s abrupt reaction. “You know, your eyes always shine differently when he’s around. Kurosaki-kun’s gaze is serene when looking at us, but there’s a spark in your eyes when you see him that’s unlike all the other kinds of sparks I’ve ever seen. It’s warm and maybe a little wild, but what stands out the most is how lovingly you look at him.”
Ichigo stopped walking, standing completely frozen while Orihime looked at him quizzically. His heart was beating so fast he was afraid of collapsing right in the middle of the street, and his thoughts were tumbling down the hill created by the many barriers Ichigo had built up in an useless attempt to hide those so-called feelings.
He knew what he felt towards Grimmjow was different from a simple friendship, and it was far from how he was supposed to feel towards someone who swore to eat him alive on a weekly basis. They had been enemies once, but ever since the war ended, their relationship had been slowly changing to something that Ichigo himself had trouble defining. Maybe they were frenemies, if that was even a thing. Stll, regardless of their relation’s status, Ichigo had always wished for more; more sparring, more midnight meetings, more touches, more teasing, more smiles. More everything.
Those devious desires had been pushed back to the darkest corners of his mind as Ichigo refused to accept their existence, not because of prejudice, but of how easily he could get his heart broken if they were revealed. Ichigo had made a decision then, to never acknowledge that longing and those thoughts as his own.
Until Orihime shoved them right back at his face.
“Are you okay, Kurosaki-kun?” Orihime sounded worried and Ichigo noticed how desperately his hands were clutching onto his jeans, as he might tear them apart at any second.
Taking a deep breath, Ichigo met Orihime’s eyes and offered her a strained laugh.
“Any advice to a fellow friend that might be in love with his asshole ex-sworn enemy who is also an arrancar?” Ichigo truly smiled at Orihime’s excitement, listening attentively to all she had to say while they made their way back to her house.
The word spread quickly after that, and soon Ichigo’s life had become a challenge of how much teasing he could handle from a bunch of idiots before telling them all to mind their fucking business and get the hell out of his sight.
Ichigo was just thinking of the nastier answer he could give to each one of his friends ⎯ except Orihime and Chad, when someone knocked at his door.
“Ichi-nii, are you awake? Wanna help me make chocolates? I know you really like them. It’s Valentine’s Day!” Yuzu waited for Ichigo’s positive reply before speaking again. “Hurry up or dad’s going to mess it all up!”
Picking up a pair of sweatpants and a light blue shirt that definitely didn’t make him think about Grimmjow’s hair, Ichigo went down the stairs and headed towards the kitchen while easily dodging Isshin's open arms that almost crowded him against the nearest wall.
“You’re getting quicker, Ichigo! Your dad is so proud of you,” Isshin dried the non-existent tears from his eyes and faked a sob.
“And you're getting dumber, it seems.” Ichigo muttered back low enough so that only he and Yuzu were able to hear.
His sister laughed quietly and started to tie up Ichigo’s bright pink apron around his back. “Pick up the ingredients for me, then I’ll mix them up and do the tempering. Karin will choose their shapes and put them in the fridge.” Ichigo nodded at the instructions and started to separate what they needed according to Yuzu’s requests.
“So, my dear son, are you spending the day with someone special today? Will you finally introduce us to a possible girlfriend? Or boyfriend, you know I don’t mind that,” Isshin wiggled his eyebrows childishly and Ichigo rolled his eyes tiredly.
“No plans for today, dad. I might head to Urahara’s if they’re up to something.” Nobody had notified Ichigo about any kind of celebration yet, which was quite unusual considering how popular the holiday was and how Urahara and Yoruichi never missed a chance to gather as many people as possible and drink to their heart's content.
“What about that pretty friend of yours? Orihime-chan.” Isshin insisted, bumping his shoulder against Ichigo’s.
“We’re just friends. Besides, I think she has something going on with Ishida but they’re too embarrassed to confess.”
“Like you’re too scared to admit the thing you’ve got with that blue haired weirdo?” Karin snickered.
“Not you too, Karin.” Ichigo grumbled, trying to focus on the movement of Yuzu’s spatula instead of all the bullshit being spoken.
“Oh, he’s the arrancar, right? Bright blue eyes, broad shoulders and murdering smile,” Isshin hummed, placing a hand under his chin in deep thought. “Actually, that explains why you’re always so excited to meet him on Wednesdays. Are you sure that all you do is spar? Is that what kids call it these days?” His dad wondered out loud.
“Please shut up and go to work,” Ichigo pleaded, already feeling his cheeks heating up in sheer embarrassment.
Yuzu turned the spatula to her dad, chocolate flying around the kitchen and landing almost everywhere, and frowned at him with eyes as cold as ice. “Stop harassing Ichi-nii or I won’t give you any chocolates.”
Isshin looked physically hurt and left the room talking to the walls about where he had gone wrong with his children’s education and why didn’t they love him anymore after all he’d done for them. Ichigo heard him talking to Masaki’s portrait before heading out to work and Ichigo’s chest clenched tightly for a second, knowing just how much his dad wished she was here, especially today.
Ichigo shook his head to get rid of his melancholy and couldn’t help but smile at Yuzu, thanking her for standing up for him.
“Don’t worry, Ichi-nii. Although I’ve only seen Grimmjow-san in his gigai, I don’t believe he’s a bad person since you like him that much. But I should let him know that if he hurts you I’ll shove this spatula up to his-” Ichigo pressed a hand on Yuzu’s mouth, muffling the harsh words that followed next.
“I get it. Thank you, Yuzu.”
The corners of her eyes crinkled sweetly when she turned to Ichigo. “You think Grimmjow-san would like a few chocolates? We can make him some too.”
“Yeah, cat-shaped chocolates for the big lazy cat,” Karin added, showing Ichigo the silicon molds.
“Why do you keep referring to him as a cat?” Ichigo was confused. Not about the resemblance, because if he thought hard enough, Ichigo could recall a few times he’d listened to Grimmjow purr ⎯ which was something he was never going to say out loud for the sake of his own life. Still, he doubted Karin had spent enough time close to the arrancar to learn about his secret mannerisms.
“Oh, that’s how Urahara calls him, though he really hates it.”
“I wonder why,” Ichigo mumbled, not in the least surprised about that revelation.
Despite the influx of messages in the morning, Ichigo’s phone had been strangely quiet during the rest of the day. He had received pictures of Orihime hanging out with Ichida, a furiously blushing Renji next to Byakuya, and even Urahara had bothered to show up on his screen next to Yoruichi and at least five bottles of sake.
It was nice seeing them so peacefully happy for once. After all they’d been through, all the wars they’d fought, a rest was truly well deserved. Although hollows still existed and things in Hueco Mundo and Soul Society were far from being stable, Ichigo felt that everything was finally walking towards a fresh beginning. However, it did make him wonder if his role as a shinigami was close to an end and, even more than that, if Grimmjow would go back to his home once Halibel fixed the mess Aizen had left behind. The thought brought a different kind of pain directly to Ichigo’s chest, quick but excruciating, like the prick of a thousand needles.
Grimmjow’s presence had been constant for the past two years, like a weasel plant you tried to get rid off but would never really go away. The only difference was that Ichigo had never wanted it to disappear, allowing its roots to wrap around his body and soul, leaving him pliant to the electrifying gaze that always managed to paralyze him for a couple of seconds. When their weekly routine started, Ichigo first thought it was a pain, that Grimmjow would never let go of that ridiculous grudge he had, but soon he found himself looking forward to their fights. They danced to a different kind of song now, one less deadly and more energizing, the desire to kill long forgotten. There were still threats that upon being spoken made Grimmjow’s pupils dilate and his mouth salivate, but they both knew those words had no bad intentions, carelessly thrown at the wind just to tease and serve as a fuel for their purpose. They still hurt each other, purple bruises and deep cuts that traveled through the entire length of their bodies, but those were worn proudly, an encouragement to be better and work harder the next time.
Without all that, Ichigo’s life would be just bland, hence the unwillingness of his heart to let Grimmjow go.
From the living room’s window, Ichigo could see dusk taking over the remnants of blue in the sky, coloring it in pallets of purple and orange; a pretty sight to those who were out there to celebrate love. Ichigo sighed, turning to face the television and trying to pay attention to the movie Yuzu had chosen. It was a foreign one and Ichigo couldn’t remember its name, but it had something to do with Ireland and a holiday. The scene showed a redhead woman walking towards a group of cows blocking the road while the guy just watched her nonchalantly while eating an apple. Ichigo snorted, easily picturing him and Grimmjow in the same situation, where he would be the one responsible for doing all the work and Grimmjow would just stand there and wait for things to be finished.
He was about to make a comment when the doorbell rang.
“Are you expecting someone, Ichi-nii?” Yuzu asked, eyes flickering back and forth between the TV and Ichigo.
“No, but stay there. I’ll see who it is,” Ichigo got up, ruffling Yuzu’s hair and making her shriek.
When Ichigo opened the door, he was rendered speechless. There, right in front of him, stood the reason of his most recent emotional conflict, the one and only Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez. He was in his gigai, wearing a pair of tight white jeans that did nothing to hide the muscles from years of training, and a fit black button down shirt with the sleeves rolled back to his elbows and the top three buttons undone, showing off a sharp collarbone that made Ichigo inhale sharply. A white jacket was hanging from his shoulders and his blue hair was styled back perfectly, not a single blue strand out of place. There was no sign of Pantera around his waist, which was very surprising.
Ichigo couldn’t stop his treacherous heart from skipping a beat at the sight.
“Yo, Kurosaki,” Grimmjow nodded, his usual deep frown making his face look stern.
“Hi Grimmjow. Looking nice,” Ichigo cursed at himself mentally as soon as the words left his mouth.
Grimmjow groaned loudly and scratched the back of his neck as if he was nervous about something.
“Go change, we’re going out,” he stated quickly.
“What? Are you looking for a fight right now? It’s kind of late for that, don’t you think?” Not that Ichigo would say no to an unscheduled spar just for the sake of spending some time with Grimmjow, but the invitation really came out of the blue.
“We’re not fighting, dipshit. We’re just going out.”
Ichigo could see just how tense Grimmjow’s jaw was, like he was being forced to do that.
“Are you sure you actually want to do this? Besides, what are we going out for?”
“Jesus fucking Christ,” Grimmjow mumbled. “For dinner, Kurosaki. Now hurry up or I swear I’ll open a garganta and head back to Hueco Mundo.”
Ichigo blinked twice, trying to process what he had just heard. “You want to have dinner with me,” he said, sounding more like a question than anything else.
“Are you deaf or something?” Grimmjow took two steps forward and was now clutching into Ichigo’s shirt, snarling at his face with gritted teeth. “If you don’t wanna go just fucking say so.”
“I do!” Ichigo blurred out. “Stop making stupid assumptions, asshole.” They were so close that Ichigo could feel Grimmjow’s breath on his nose. He could only hope that it wouldn’t be close enough for Grimmjow to hear the loud symphony created by his heart.
He reached out for Grimmjow’s hands, forcing his vice-like grip to loosen and allowing Ichigo to put some space between them. His eyes were facing the gravel beneath Grimmjow’s feet and he could feel his own cheeks turning into a darker shade of pink.
“Before I go change, I just want to ask you something. Do you know what day it is today?”
Grimmjow huffed, shoving both hands inside his front pockets. “Of course I do. Now go before I change my mind.”
“O-Okay, I’ll be back in five,” Ichigo smiled sheepishly and leaned behind the door once it was closed, not believing what had just happened.
Holy shit, Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez had just asked him out for dinner on Valentine’s Day.
When Ichigo looked up, Karin and Yuzu were kneeling on the sofa with their heads resting on their arms and wicked grins on their faces, meaning they had probably heard the entire conversation, if Ichigo could even call it that.
“Not a word,” Ichigo warned, pointing a finger at them.
“Don’t forget the chocolates, Ichi-nii!” Yuzu screamed when Ichigo was climbing up the stairs.
Ichigo looked at himself in the mirror, running a hand through his wild hair and uselessly trying to tame it. He was wearing a well fit navy blue sweatshirt with a V-neck and a pair of light blue jeans. It wasn’t nearly as nice as Grimmjow’s clothes, but Ichigo knew he looked good in them, so maybe it was worth the shot.
The tiny bag of heart and cat-shaped chocolates was resting on Ichigo’s desk, tied up with a bright yellow ribbon. Ichigo pondered for a minute and decided that If Grimmjow had the guts to come over and ask him out for dinner, then Ichigo would make sure to let him know that his feelings were mutual.
With the gift in hands, he took a deep breath and walked down the stairs.
Karin whistled and gave him a thumbs up, while Yuzu just smiled and wished him good luck. Ichigo appreciated the gesture even though it made him slightly embarrassed, and waved them goodbye.
Thankfully, Grimmjow was still there when Ichigo came out, leaning on the wall right beside the door with his arms crossed like a guard dog. His blue eyes widened slightly when he saw Ichigo, running them over his body with little to no shame, but soon they were back to their normal annoyed state. Before he could move, however, Ichigo shoved the chocolates right into his chest.
“We made chocolates today so I went ahead and separated a few for you. Just take it,” Ichigo scratched the back of his neck, turning his back to Grimmjow to avoid his furious blush from being seen.
He had pictured this scene in his head quite a few times over the last ten minutes, a hundred different possibilities of how Grimmjow would react to the chocolates. Maybe he would receive a punch, maybe Grimmjow would push him against the wall and ask him what the fuck he thought he was doing, or maybe Grimmjow would just throw them away at the first opportunity he had.
However, he wasn’t expecting Grimmjow to actually eat them.
The heart-shaped sweet disappeared inside Grimmjow’s mouth as soon as Ichigo turned. He chewed slowly, as if he was actually tasting it, though his expression remained unchanged. His eyes found Ichigo’s and Grimmjow smirked sinfully, his characteristic smile that always made Ichigo feel a little afraid but also a little aroused.
“Not bad, Kurosaki. Not bad at all.”
He closed the small bag with a delicacy that Ichigo didn’t know he had, and held it in one of his hands as the other met his jean’s pocket once again.
“Let’s go, the place is not far.”
The weather was cold and dry, which wasn’t unusual for a month like February. Snow fell from the sky and blended in nicely with Grimmjow’s blue strands, giving him an almost peaceful and human look. Nobody would guess that he didn’t belong to that world or that his hands were stained with blood from a thousand victims, some innocent and others not that much. Although Ichigo knew about his past, he decided to give the man a second chance because deep down something had always told him that there was some good in Grimmjow after all, even if the man himself couldn’t see that.
What truly mattered was that right now, Grimmjow looked like he belonged there, in Karakura, right next to Ichigo.
And if that didn’t make Ichigo smile like a mad man in the rain with his black umbrella, he wasn’t sure what would.
The streets were colored by cherry blossoms, either on the sidewalk or still attached to its branches, a typical scenario for that specific day. Flower carts could be seen on basically every corner, showing off their brightest roses in different tones of red and pink. The local shops were decorated with hearts and big ribbons, trying to attract the couples that passed by. There were plenty of people around, more than on an usual Monday, talking loudly while holding hands and hugging each other.
If Ichigo said his hand wasn’t itching to take hold of Grimmjow’s, he would be lying. But the fear of scaring him away with that simple gesture was enough to stop him from doing so.
He would wait for Grimmjow to say something before doing something outrageous, even if he ended up with nothing in the end. It was just not worth the risk of losing what he had spent months developing.
“We’re here,” Grimmjow announced, nodding at the place in front of them.
A small but cozy restaurant caught Ichigo’s attention. There were a few tables on the outside, decorated with rose petals and illuminated by candles in order to create the perfect romantic mood. If Ichigo thought the outside looked good, when he walked inside he was simply mesmerized by the place’s beauty. The adornments were brighter than any others Ichigo had seen and there was a large waterfall at one corner, its noise peacefully filling the background. It wasn’t too crowded, meaning not a lot of people knew about it, which was just perfect for the two of them.
“How did you learn about this place?” Ichigo asked, still amazed by the gracefulness of it all.
“Stripped hat recommended it,” Grimmjow shrugged, moving towards an empty table and sitting down.
“That’s weirdly nice of him.” Ichigo frowned lightly and took his place at the opposite side of the table.
“What the fuck is this?” Grimmjow picked up one of the rose petals and squashed it between his fingers, taking advantage of the candles to burn its remnants.
Ichigo’s eyes went wide. “What the hell, Grimmjow!? Stop burning the flowers, you sicko,” he stretched a hand and picked up the petal from Grimmjow’s grasp before it met the same destiny as the previous one.
“They’re useless. We’re here to eat and drink, if I wanted to see flowers I’d go to a fucking botanic garden or some shit like that,” Grimmjow crossed his arms and looked furiously at the poor rose petals.
“It’s just something to symbolize the holiday, stop thinking so damn hard about it,” Ichigo rolled his eyes and Grimmjow clicked his tongue.
“So is this holiday that important to humans? It sounded pretty stupid from what I’ve been told.”
“Have you ever had someone like that in your life?” Ichigo sounded almost sad, and from the kick he received afterwards, that hadn’t passed by unnoticed.
“Do not pity me, Kurosaki! I’d never needed someone like that to become this powerful. You were simply there and it happened, got it?” Grimmjow was crushing Ichigo’s feet with his heels, making Ichigo squirm in his seat.
“This is still pretty new for you, huh? I guess it makes sense for you not to understand it fully,” Ichigo shoved Grimmjow’s feet away, a real fight hidden by a white table cloth. “But, uh, take your time? I’ll still be here so…” He looked sideways, embarrassed by his own words.
“You fucking better be, Berry,” Grimmjow threatened.
It took some time for their drinks to arrive, Grimmjow going for a random sake and Ichigo deciding to stick with water, after all, there was no way he was going to risk forgetting about this dinner with Grimmjow, on Valentine’s Day nonetheless.
“Why the hell there are so many couples here?” Grimmjow looked around with a frown.
Ichigo seemed confused for a second, but tried his best to explain. “It’s kind of the deal of the holiday, Grimmjow.”
“Huh, I guess I expected it to have a bigger variety.”
“Oh!” The lightbulb in Ichigo’s head went on. “Many people are not very comfortable with being publicly out, afraid of being judged or suffering prejudice.”
“Prejudice? That makes no sense.”
Ichigo snorted, but the corners of his lips stretched to form a gentle and sincere smile. “Yeah, I know,” he bit his lip anxiously. “That doesn’t bother you, does it?”
Grimmjow laughed out loud, the one he gave when somebody said something really stupid, getting the attention of a few couples close to them. “Of course not. I couldn’t care less about what people think about me or us.”
Ichigo’s smile widened, relieved by Grimmjow’s answer. Not that he expected anything else from him, seeing as the guy wore pride around his sleeve like his favorite fashion item. “I’m glad.”
“Oi,” Grimmjow called him with a serious tone, pointing an accusatory finger at his face. “Stop smiling like a creep, Kurosaki.”
“Sorry, I’m just very happy to hear that,” Ichigo scratched his cheek nervously, trying his best to keep his lips from twitching.
“Whatever,” Grimmjow murmured while taking a sip of his sake.
The food smelled wonderful, a mixture of western and local specialties that when combined resulted in something mouth-watering. Grimmjow had opted for something more foreign and simple, a grilled steak with spicy sauce. Ichigo, on the other side, chose a more traditional dish, stir-fried spicy garlic udon noodles. The flavors melted on Ichigo’s tongue like his favorite chocolate. Fireworks exploded at each bite and Ichigo moaned quietly at every single one of them. The first time had been an honest response to how heavenly the food tasted, but after he’d seen the perplexed look on Grimmjow’s face, he went for it just for the sake of pushing the arrancar’s buttons.
“Are those noises really necessary, Berry? People will start wondering if there’s something going on under the table if you keep that up.” Ichigo blushed lightly at Grimmjow’s teasing.
“We've been having a foot fight since we’ve arrived, so yeah, I’d say there’s a lot going on under the table,” he answered back without losing his poise.
“You little shit,” Grimmjow’s lips curved into a tiny smile and Ichigo felt like he had won that round.
“Takes one to know one.”
When it was time for dessert, Grimmjow actually surprised Ichigo by placing the tiny bag of chocolates on the table and offering him some.
“I’d never have guessed you liked sweets,” Ichigo mentioned, seeing Grimmjow had just eaten his third.
“Not my favorite thing, but they’re not bad either. I think I like them more when they’re sour or with alcohol,” Grimmjow contemplated the brown cat in his hands, turning the chocolate around before plopping it into his mouth and humming softly.
“Urahara is really getting into your head, huh? Soon you’ll be sharing sake with him and Yoruichi-san.”
“Fuck you, Berry. I’m nothing like that drunk pervert or that old hag.”
Ichigo looked at the cat now in his hands, thinking about the resemblance with the one sitting right in front of him. It seemed like Grimmjow was right about one thing after all.
“Yeah, you’re really not.”
Grimmjow placed a couple of bills on the table before Ichigo could even think about picking up his wallet, paying for both of them and not even bothering to wait for his change. As they were leaving, Ichigo couldn’t help but ask where the money came from, considering Grimmjow wasn’t very used to the concept of yens.
“As if I would waste the chance of spending that bastard’s money,” he explained, grinning deviously.
“You stole it from him!?”
Grimmjow rolled his eyes at Ichigo’s alarmed expression. “No, idiot. He gave it to me.” Ichigo nodded slowly, starting to think there was something really fishy in Urahara’s actions, starting from the restaurant suggestion and ending with giving Grimmjow money.
That didn’t seem quite right, but Ichigo decided to not dwell on it.
The night was colder now, temperature dropping as the clock reached past nine. Ichigo shivered, feeling he should’ve chosen a thicker sweater or at least brought a jacket. He brushed his arms quickly, trying to create at least a little bit of heat when something heavy fell onto his head and darkened his vision. The first thing Ichigo noticed was the earthy smell, spicy around the edges and even a little sweet of he focused hard enough. He wished he could taste it on his tongue and wondered if it would raise all the tiny hairs on his arms like Grimmjow’s reiatsu always did.
Only then Ichigo realized where the jacket had come from.
“Aren’t you going to be cold?”
Grimmjow clicked his tongue in annoyance. “Can’t have you freezing to death, Kurosaki. I’m gonna be the one to kill you after all.”
“I’m not going to die because of this, Grimmjow.”
“Maybe not, but humans get sick easily. And if you get sick we won’t fight and if we don’t fight I can’t rub off how much better than you I am at it. That’s why you should wear the stupid jacket and shut up about it.”
“You don’t have your hierro to protect you from the cold now, so I’m having a hard time believing you’re not bothered by the temperature,” Ichigo protested, but still wrapped the jacket tighter around his arms, searching blindly for that kind of warmth.
“I don’t fucking care what you think, Berry. You’re going to wear that thing at least until we get back to your house.”
“God, you’re so damn stubborn,” Ichigo groaned, finally dropping the subject.
“Takes one to know one,” Grimmjow smirked, and Ichigo just walked faster.
It had been at least three minutes since they’d arrived at Ichigo’s house. They stood in front of the front door, stealing glances at each other and being completely at a loss for words.
Ichigo had no idea what to do next. He had an amazing night and was surprised to experience how well he and Grimmjow got together when they decided to put other things aside. They had similar interactions at Urahara’s parties, but nothing so private and close like this time. Honestly, Ichigo had never had such a good time while on a date before, being this the first time he could actually act like himself without the fear of being judged due to his not-so-perfect personality. Grimmjow knew all parts of him, his protective and vindative side, his human and his hollow parts equally, and he had never treated him any differently. Quite the opposite, he seemed thrilled to meet and know each part of Ichigo.
That rendered him speechless, without a clue of what he was supposed to do next. What if he gave Grimmjow a kiss? What if he told him that he was all he’d been thinking about for about a whole year? What if he confessed that he might be in love with him? What if he asked if Grimmjow felt the same? He was nervous, hands covered in cold sweat at the same time his body felt oddly warm. Anxiety traveled through his blood like oxygen and forced him to trap his bottom lip between his teeth, gnawing on it like he was still hungry even after a full meal. Hungry for a touch, for the acknowledgment that his feelings weren’t one sided, for more casual dinners like the one they’d just shared.
For everything and anything that involved Grimmjow.
“Listen, Grimmjow-“ Ichigo started, but was cut off by the other’s raspy voice.
“Happy Partner’s Day, Kurosaki.”
Ichigo blinked. “What did you say?”
“You really need to get your ears checked. Happy Partner’s Day. You know, the holiday and the reason we went out today,” Grimmjow looked at him like it was the most obvious thing in the world, as if he had just said the sky was blue.
And Ichigo felt the ground beneath his feet starting to shake. “What the hell is Partner’s Day?”
Grimmjow’s frown started to deepen very quickly. “A day to be celebrated with a partner, any kind of partner. We’re sparring partners, so we have to celebrate it together.”
Ichigo opened his mouth but nothing would come out of it. He swallowed dry, clinging even tighter onto the jacket around him like that was the only thing keeping him steady while he simply fell into a pit of darkness below.
“Grimmjow, Partner’s Day isn’t real. Today, February 14th, is actually Valentine’s Day,” his voice was strained, becoming dangerously high-pitched at the end, right when his eyes started to sting.
“That motherfucking son of a bitch,” Grimmjow was fuming, hands closed tightly into fists, almost breaking the skin from the amount of strength behind it. “I’m going to kill him.” He started to walk away, and Ichigo called for him desperately, trying to make him stop.
“Wait, Grimmjow!” Ichigo reached for Grimmjow’s arm and managed to get a grip on it. “I need to know something. Why did you take me out for dinner?”
“Because that asshole said that if I didn’t you’d never fight me again, and I had to dress up nicely and treat you well or else you’d just leave! Fuck, if I had know it was Valentine’s Day I wouldn’t have gone through all this bullshit!” Grimmjow’s eyes were large, embedded in sheer fury. He lashed out at Ichigo and easily broke free from his grasp.
When he disappeared from Ichigo’s sight, the ground had completely crumbled and the tears could no longer be held back. Ichigo fell to his knees and sobbed once, twice before allowing his heart to shatter into a thousand little pieces, too small to be seen but impossible not to be felt. It hurt like hell, more than Byakuya’s petals, Renji’s Zabimaru, Kenpachi’s cuts, Ulquiorra’s cero and Aizen’s illusions; it burned deep inside his chest like it had been set in flames, spreading pain quickly through his body similar to a fire taking over a large forest.
Little by little, Ichigo felt himself being destroyed by Grimmjow’s words that kept ringing inside his head. All they had experienced today was fake, an act to make sure that Ichigo would still be fighting. How could Ichigo believe the arrancar thought about anything else than that? He had always been like this, addicted to their fights, to get better and prove to both of them that he was a king, deserving of his own golden crown. How could Ichigo remotely think Grimmjow felt anything close to love when he was just a hollow, a being with no memories of his humanity, no feelings other than an everlasting hunger.
He had been played for a fool and now he had no other choice but to bury it all under the snow that gathered around his feet.
Maybe it was the perfect opportunity to move on.