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Chapter Text

Kakashi dodges the strike that catches him on the arm, pulls out a kunai and whips it across the other boy’s cheek before staring in horror at the scratch. He hadn’t meant to hurt him.

The boy goes wailing to his mother.

“Oh dear, you see? I told you! That kid isn’t normal,” Kakashi stares flatly at the mother comforting the brat who had attacked him for no reason, feeling a twinge of something painful in his chest. “He’s already a chunin! I told you not to play with him”

He watches them leave, arm steadily dripping blood. He’s not sure how long he stands there feeling lonely and isolated and alone.

“You’re hurt”

He looks up at the small voice. 

A boy of maybe five or six years old with light brown skin and shaggy brown hair is peering up at him. A bandage runs across the bridge of his nose.

Wide brown eyes blink at him before small hands take his uninjured arm by the hand. Kakashi’s first instinct is to pull back, but he’s afraid of hurting this boy too.

“You don’t want to be around me”

“Huh?” he blinks. “Why not?”

“Cause I’m a chunin”

“You can’t be a chunin!” the boy giggles like Kakashi had told the funniest joke. “What’s your name chunin-sama?”

“Kakashi”

“I’m Iruka!” the boy grins brightly. His hand is small and warm against Kakashi’s as he leads him down a street to a quaint-looking house.

“Mama! Mama! My friend is hurt!”

“What happened?” the door to the house opens and a woman steps out.

He recognizes her as a jonin on the Barrier Team who specializes in fuinjutsu. Brown eyes widen as they take in Kakashi’s small frame.

“Oh dear, I see”

Kakashi is fully expecting her to pull the boy, Iruka, away from him and hide him away inside. 

“Well we can’t have that!” she claps her hands, “why don’t you boys come inside and we’ll get that patched up? You’re in luck, I just made broiled saury! Your dad wanted me to add eggplant to the miso soup, but he’s not even home. Honestly!” her voice fades off as she disappears down the hall. 

Iruka tugs a stunned Kakashi into the living room and pushes him down on the cushions. He examines the wound as if he were a medical ninja.

“Well, chunin-sama,” he declares in an overly dramatic voice, “you will live,” he bursts into high-pitched giggles. Kakashi isn’t sure how to react, so he just nods.

The jonin, Kohari, he thinks, Umino Kohari, returns with a first aid kit.

“Can I do it?” Iruka asks. Kohari hesitates. 

“I have a more important task for you,” she taps the tip of his nose, “it’s an S-rank mission!”

Iruka gasps and claps his hands, standing at attention with a broad grin. “Yes ma’am!” he giggles.

“I need you to go get your friend some water”

Iruka nods, determined. Kakashi wants to laugh at how silly it is to treat something like getting water as an S-rank mission, but he also knows that people treat actual kids differently. Kakashi isn’t really a kid so no one ever did that with him but he knows it happens. 

“Do you want to tell me what happened?” Kohari’s voice is as gentle as her hands as she wipes away the blood.

“An accident,” Kakashi mumbles. 

“Mn,” the antiseptic stings, but Kakashi finds he doesn’t mind it, “you’ll just have to be more careful then,” she says with a warm smile as she wraps the bandage around his arm. Iruka comes back into the living room with a glass of water and hands it to Kakashi.

“Mission complete!” he says mock-seriously before giggling uncontrollably. Kakashi can’t help it. Iruka’s laughter is infectious and he finds himself smiling beneath his mask. 

Kohari laughs, high and clear like bells. It’s very similar to her son’s and laughter is good so Kakashi relaxes a bit.

“Alright, little monster,” she sighs, “is your friend staying for dinner?”

“Yes!” Iruka answers before Kakashi can say no. “You’re staying for dinner, chunin-sama,” Iruka declares, turning to Kakashi, “we’re having saury! It’s alright. It’s not ramen,” he pouts, “but mama says I can’t eat ramen all the time. It doesn’t have nootrishun,” Kakashi listens to Iruka babble on about ramen and decides the younger boy really likes to talk. He doesn’t dislike it though.

Before he knows it, Kakashi is being taken by the hand and dragged around Iruka’s house. Iruka talking a mile a minute about everything they come across. The hand not gripping Kakashi’s gesturing animatedly as his face lights up. Kakashi doesn’t even pay much attention to what Iruka is saying, too fascinated by how expressive he is and how he casually drags Kakashi along like he’s not an eight year old killer who’s father disgraced himself.

“-not allowed to touch this she says because it’s daynjerus,” Iruka points to a tanto, “I don’t like weapons and things. They’re kinda scary. Mizu-kun was showing me a big shoorikan he found and I swear it was almost as big as me! But it has to be a secret. Mama doesn’t like Mizu-kun playing with weapons around me,” Iruka turns to look up at him expectantly.

“That’s big,” Kakashi says, unsure what Iruka wants him to say.

It seems to work because Iruka is taking his hand again and chattering away.

“Little monster!” Kohari’s voice reaches them, “don’t tell me you’re talking Kakashi-kun’s ear off. Have you even taken a breath?”

“Mama!” Kakashi is pulled along to the kitchen. “Kashi-kun hasn’t told me to shut up yet!” Kakashi is startled. “He’s nice”

Kohari looks at them both with a helpless sort of affection that makes Kakashi feel curiously warm.

“That is very nice,” she laughs, “now both of you, go wash up because dinner is ready”

“Daddy isn’t home?”

“No, little monster, he’s not,” Kohari sighs, “maybe later tonight”

Iruka’s face falls. Kakashi panics. He’s not sure why, except for the fact that sadness looks incredibly out of place on Iruka’s face. He decides Iruka’s face is made for smiles instead.

“It’s okay,” he pats Iruka on the head, “sometimes missions take a lot longer than they should”

Iruka looks up at him before his face breaks into a smile and Kakashi breathes a sigh of relief. Kohari is watching them fondly.

Again, Iruka is grabbing Kakashi’s hand and practically dragging him down the hall to the bathroom. 

“Mama says when you wash your hands you have to count,” Iruka explains, as if Kakashi has never washed his hands before. Iruka begins to count out loud, stopping when he reaches thirty before drying his hands. “Okay! Now your turn chunin-sama!”

Kakashi realizes the nickname is going to stick. He sighs to himself and holds his hands under the sink.

“You’re not counting!” Iruka stares at him with too-earnest, large brown eyes.

“Sorry,” Kakashi apologizes and begins counting, feeling completely foolish. It’s worth it though, just to see the bright smile split chubby cheeks. He doesn’t know why, but just a little time in Iruka’s presence and Kakashi is willing to do anything to protect his smile and infectious laughter.

Iruka takes Kakashi’s hand again.

“Why are you holding my hand?” Kakashi asks. Iruka blinks large doe-brown eyes at him.

“Because!” he says, “you’re my friend”

Kakashi isn’t sure what to say to that so he simply nods and lets Iruka pull him into the living room where the low table is set with dishes.

“Have you ever had broiled saury before, Kakashi-kun?” Kohari asks, handing him a plate. Kakashi shakes his head. His father didn’t like fish. “It was a common dish in Uzushiogakure,” Kohari hums, “my mother used to make it all the time”

Kakashi isn’t sure how he’s supposed to act. His father had instilled proper manners in him, but he’s never really had family dinners like this. Usually his father would eat alone in his study when not out on a mission, leaving Kakashi to fend for himself. Before the mission that ruined his reputation, they’d talk about missions and training. He doesn’t know what’s acceptable to talk about in a real family unit and he worries he’s going to be asked about his father.

It’s completely nerve-wracking and Kakashi sits silent and tense for the first several minutes until Iruka dumps rice all over his own lap and knocks down a cup gesturing with his hands, giggling sheepishly at his clumsiness and Kakashi is distracted by helping him clean it up. Relief floods him when Kohari asks him about his last mission and he can talk about something he knows. She talks about fuinjutsu, something Kakashi isn’t that familiar with but Kushina-sama talks about it enough that he knows a bit.

He finds out Kohari and Kushina-sama are actually rather close, both from Uzushiogakure and both on the Barrier Team, and she asks how Kushina-sama and Minato-sensei are doing. Like her son, Kohari likes to talk. Especially when she starts talking about fuinjutsu. It’s a relief to Kakashi to be able to just listen while he eats rather than be expected to make actual conversation. He’s not very good at that.

He decides he really likes broiled saury and eggplant miso.

He watches Iruka make shapes with his saury before Kohari tells him to stop playing with his food. Iruka grins through his apology and Kakashi thinks he really isn’t sorry. He thinks Kohari knows this too.

He’s grateful that Kohari is able to hold a conversation and he’s not left flailing, even when Kohari ends up doing most of the talking. She sort of reminds him of Kushina-sama and he realizes he’s actually relaxed when his shoulders don’t begin to get sore from being tense. He thinks Kushina-sama and Kohari could probably spend hours talking together and the thought makes his head spin a little because that’s a lot of talking.

It’s…nice in a way that Kakashi rarely experiences. It’s warm unlike the too-big and too-cold interior of his own house.

Eventually, Iruka begins to yawn and Kakashi is startled when a warm weight gently lands against his side. He glances down to see Iruka cuddled against him, head resting against his shoulder.

“It’s getting pretty late, isn’t it?” Kohari hums, seemingly completely unbothered at the fact her son is using Kakashi of all people as a pillow.

“I’m not sleepy!” Iruka says with a yawn, despite the fact his eyes are closed and he’s all but molded himself against Kakashi, and Kakashi can’t help smiling at the insistence.

“I’m sure you’re not,” Kohari’s expression is amused but her voice is serious, “but a good shinobi knows that they need to go to bed early so that they’re always mission ready,” she winks at Kakashi, surprising him. He knows that her words are a lie, but he also realizes why she’s lying. He feels warm at being included. 

Iruka heaves a put-upon sigh. “Maybe I don’t wanna be shinobi anymore if it means I have to go to bed,” he says with a hint of mischief. 

“What do you want to be then, little monster?” Kohari indulges her son.

“A fisherman!” Iruka giggles like it’s the funniest thing in the world. 

“But yesterday didn’t you want to be a radish farmer?”

“That was yesterday!” Iruka says seriously. Kakashi can’t help smiling. Iruka turns to peer up at his pillow, “what do you wanna be chunin-sama?” Kohari looks surprised at the nickname before hiding her smile behind her hand.

“Um,” Kakashi desperately flails for an answer. “I’m…a shinobi”

“No,” Iruka shakes his head, “you have to be something different!”

Kakashi looks at Kohari for help because he really doesn’t know what to say. He’s been trained to be a shinobi his entire life, the idea of being anything else never even crossed his mind but he doesn’t want to disappoint Iruka and make his smile go away. She smiles gently and it’s very similar to her son’s, except softer.

“Does Kakashi-kun want to stay the night?” Kohari asks and Iruka easily follows the change in conversation.

“Sleepover!” Iruka claps his hands, “I haven’t had a sleepover since Mizu-kun tried to shoot an apple off my head!”

“What?” Kakashi blinks. Kohari looks pained and disapproving for a moment before it disappears behind a smile.

“Yeah! He used a shoorikan,” Iruka points to the bandage on his face, “this happened. Mama said I can’t play with him anymore”

Kohari sighs, leaning down and pressing a kiss to Iruka’s forehead before ruffling his hair.

“He tried to shoot an apple off your head with a shuriken?” Kakashi asks in disbelief as Iruka pulls him down the hall to his bedroom. Did no one teach this Mizu-kun how to handle weapons?

“Yeah,” Iruka flops onto his bed. “He said it would be good practice for joining the ninja academy! I’m gonna be a jonin like my mama!”

“Is your dad a jonin too?”

“Special jonin. But I don’t wanna be like him,” Iruka says thoughtfully, “he goes away for a very long time and then he comes back and he’s sad and sometimes doesn’t listen when people call him. Mama says he becomes other people and sometimes has to remember who he is,” infiltration specialist then, Kakashi thinks as Iruka continues, “mama does cool things! She calls them fweenjootsoos”

Kakashi blinks as Iruka launches into a child’s explanation of fuinjutsu. Although to Kakashi, it sounds like Iruka understands a lot more about it than most adults do. 

He wonders if Iruka will grow up to specialize in fuinjutsu as well.

Kakashi has never had a sleepover. He doesn’t know what to do so he stands awkwardly in Iruka’s room as the younger boy rifles through a drawer.

“Here, chunin-sama!” Iruka holds out mismatched pajama pants and a shirt with a smiling ramen emblazoned on the front. “You can borrow these!”

Kakashi doesn’t have the heart to tell him that they probably won’t fit but he puts them on anyway. The shirt fits but the pants are a little short.

Iruka stares at him with squinty eyes.

“Do you sleep in that?” he points to Kakashi’s face.

“Sometimes”

“How do you breathe?” 

“It’s easy to breathe through”

Iruka looks a little disgruntled at that. “Why do you cover your face?”

“I like to,” Kakashi himself isn’t even entirely sure why. All he knows is that he’s more comfortable keeping his face hidden. It makes him feel safe.

Iruka makes a little “huh” sound before shrugging. He grabs Kakashi’s hand and pulls him onto the bed with him. Kakashi has never shared a bed with anyone before so he’s not sure what the protocol is, but Iruka seems to have no such qualms as he rolls all the way over to the wall and grins at Kakashi from his pillow, doe eyes crinkling adorably.

Kakashi settles in the bed next to him and Iruka opens a book he pulls from under his pillow and holds it out to Kakashi. “Mama always says a bedtime story is the best way to sleep!”

Kakashi takes the book gingerly. It’s not long and it has brightly colored pictures. 

The Brave Little Kunai

Iruka looks up at him expectantly and Kakashi begins to read. He thinks the story, a sentient kunai who saves his owner from a missing-nin, is utterly ridiculous. But Iruka listens with rapt attention and Kakashi doesn’t want to upset him. 

Eventually, Iruka’s eyes begin to droop and he nestles closer to Kakashi. He’s a small, warm weight against Kakashi’s side and Kakashi feels an intense surge of protectiveness. The story finishes with the kunai and his owner returning to their village happily. 

Iruka grins brightly up at him and Kakashi smiles back. He puts the book on the nightstand and shuts off the little lamp. He hesitates for a long moment before pulling down his mask. He startles when the younger boy leans up and presses a kiss to his forehead.

“What was that?” Kakashi blinks.

“A goodnight kiss!” Iruka looks at him like he’s crazy, “mama always gives me a goodnight kiss”

“Oh”

Iruka flops onto his back and tugs the blanket higher over Kakashi before patting him. Several minutes pass before Iruka rolls onto his side to face Kakashi, brown eyes even deeper in the dim moonlight.

“Ne, chunin-sama?”

“Hm?”

“Why are your eyes sad?”

“What do you mean?” Kakashi asks, startled. 

“Your eyes. They’re sad. Don’t your parents worry?”

Kakashi feels a pain in his chest. “I don’t have parents anymore”

“Oh,” Iruka’s eyes are impossibly large and begin to well up with tears, “I’m sorry, chunin-sama!” he whimpers. Kakashi doesn’t know how to handle this situation, but a pair of small arms wraps tightly around his middle. “You can share my parents then,” Iruka sniffles, “they wouldn’t be mad”

Something breaks in Kakashi’s chest and he holds the younger boy tightly as tears slide down his cheeks. Iruka pets his hair like he’s a dog and it only makes Kakashi cry harder. He’s grateful he took off his mask.

“It’s okay chunin-sama,” Iruka’s soft voice is barely above a whisper, “mama says that crying is good because it makes the sad leave your body,” Kakashi can’t help the smile at the naive words, “if you don’t cry, then the sad will build up inside you until it becomes too much and it hurts”

“Shinobi aren’t supposed to show emotion,” Kakashi says through his tears. Iruka’s chubby hands wipe gently and clumsily at his cheeks.

“Mama says that’s a lie,” Iruka says with all the confidence of a six year old, “mama says she thinks that’s stupid because everyone has emotions and mama is always right!”

“Emotions make shinobi weak”

“Nope!” Iruka shakes his head, long brown hair flying haphazardly, “mama says emotions are good because without emotions more people would do bad things and if people didn’t have emotions then it would be sad”

Kakashi doesn’t know how to respond, so he simply holds Iruka tightly as the smaller boy gently pets his head.

“Chunin-sama?”

“Yeah?”

“I don’t think you’re weak,” Iruka says earnestly. Kakashi sends him a watery smile before hugging him. Iruka begins to hum before adding words, “a canary sings a cradle song, sleep, sleep, sleep child,” Kakashi finds the slightly off-key, childish singing oddly soothing and he doesn’t even realize he’s fallen asleep.

Chapter Text

The mission went sideways. Everything went wrong. So wrong. His first mission out of ANBU and he already managed to fuck it up.

Kakashi lands in the civilian quarter of Konoha. It’s early enough that maybe his target is still awake.

He catches sight of the light still on in the apartment that has become so familiar to him and relief floods him. He masks his chakra and lands in the garden. He’s lucky it’s on the first floor because he doesn’t have the energy to climb and he’s pretty close to chakra depletion. He settles beneath the slightly cracked window, leaning back and closing his eyes. 

He can feel the gentle thrum of chakra in the mass of wards surrounding the town home. It’s fortified to hell and back and the familiar chakra soothes the tension in his body.

“Iruka-sensei?” he hears a small voice ask.

“Hm?”

“Will you sing me the song?”

“Of course”

Kakashi silently settles beneath the window and listens to the soft baritone.

“A canary sings a cradle song, sleep, sleep, sleep child. Above the cradle the loquat fruits sway, sleep, sleep, sleep child…”

He remembers a higher-pitched childish voice and a small, warm weight pressed against his side. The memory he holds closest to his heart like a dog with his favorite bone. 

Kakashi had never really interacted with Iruka after that night. He left early the next morning, claiming he had a mission when a sleep-addled Iruka had asked where he was going. 

He had received a clumsy kiss on the cheek and a warm, sleepy hug before Iruka had gone back to sleep.

His next mission had been brutal. Far too much for an eight year old. It had left him shaken and throwing up and curling into a ball in his closet. Despite being a C-rank, it probably should have been marked as an A-rank and Kakashi had killed the first person in his entire life. The first three people, actually.

That was when he realized that being close to Iruka like he wanted to would only hurt the younger boy. He would only hurt him. There was no room for bright laughter and lullabies and goodnight kisses in Kakashi’s bloodstained existence.

So he watched from a distance. Watched as Iruka ran and laughed and chased his friends, ignoring the twinge of loneliness and jealousy growing in his chest. He silently vowed to protect Iruka and his bright sunlit smile.

Then, Obito died. Rin died. Kakashi only strengthened the belief that to keep Iruka safe he had to keep his distance.

Then Iruka lost his parents.

Kakashi didn’t know what to do. He was already grieving for his team and Kushina-sama. He grieved for Kohari, who’s own laugh and smile was so like her son’s. But mostly, he grieved for Iruka. 

In front of his friends, the boy acted like normal; laughing and boisterous and loud. But Kakashi could see the brittle edges, the way he’d break down all alone.

Yet another failure to add to Kakashi’s list.

He desperately wanted to comfort Iruka, to find a way to make him smile again. But he didn’t know how.

In the end, it was someone else.

Kakashi can’t begrudge Iruka for finding happiness with the Sandaime, letting Asuma ruffle his hair until he started complaining loudly or patiently letting Anko hang off of him. No, he’s happy Iruka found them.

It’s Mizuki that Kakashi loathes with every fiber of his being.

Mizu-kun. The one who scarred Iruka’s face all those years ago. The one who pretends to be Iruka’s friend, but undermines him every chance he can. Kakashi is not naive. He knows manipulation tactics when he sees them. He knows Toji Mizuki is bad. 

But what right does Kakashi have to say anything? Kakashi ran away. 

He still voices his worries to Sandaime. Drops subtle hints to Asuma and Anko. He’s only more confident when Anko expresses her own dislike of Mizuki.

Then the rumors start. Mizuki’s questionable mission. His behavior makes Kakashi hate him even more, turning on his comrade and then lying about it. The evidence is stacked against him.

Iruka is patient, reassuring Mizuki that everything will be fine.

Then Naruto enters the picture. Five years old. A year younger than Kakashi was when he became a chunin. 

Kakashi had kept an eye on his sensei’s son. There wasn’t much he could do for him. Not only was he too deep in ANBU, but he has no idea how to care for a child. 

He’d leave him money and try to stock his fridge when he could. But the boy was hated. 

He had been cornered by three shinobi. Chunin. Grown men picking on a child. Naruto was hissing and spitting like a feral cat and after he bit one the man raised his hand to hit him. Kakashi was going to intervene, use his ANBU appearance to strike fear into them, when a loud voice shouted something.

“Hey!”

Kakashi looks over and his heart flutters in his chest. The years have been good to Umino Iruka. He’s watched him grow from an adorable little boy to a handsome young man.

“What’s going on over here?”

Kakashi holds his breath. How will Iruka react to Naruto? He’s almost scared to think Iruka would react the same as everyone else, be the same as everyone else. But it’s not like he can blame him.

He remembers Kohari, accepting Kakashi into her home and letting him stay overnight in the same room with her son. As if he was just another regular kid and not a trained killer.

“Umino!” one of them flinches back. “What the hell are you doing here?”

“I heard a commotion,” Iruka glares, “is that a kid? What the hell are you assholes doing to a kid?”

“Not just any kid,” one of them gestures to Naruto. Kakashi tenses in anticipation.

A conflicted expression crosses Iruka’s face. His gaze tracks from the three shinobi to Naruto; small and ragged and dirty.

Something hardens in his face and Kakashi feels himself wilt slightly inside.

“Hey, kid,” Iruka calls, “do you want to get ramen?”

The three chunin exchange shocked glances. Naruto stares at him in disbelief. Kakashi feels the hope rise in his chest. 

“Umino. You do know who he is, right?” one of them asks, “I would think you of all people-”

“I know he’s a child,” Iruka’s hands land on his hips, “he’s a child and you’re adults. You should all be ashamed of yourselves!” he turns to Naruto and holds out his hand, “if you want ramen, we need to go so they don’t close down”

“I don’t have money,” Naruto says warily.

“So?” Iruka blinks, “I do”

Kakashi watches the boy edge around the trio of chunin and hurry over to Iruka. Iruka reaches down to take his hand and Naruto flinches like he’s going to be hit. 

Iruka’s face softens into something gentle and so, so reminiscent of his mother. 

“Come on,” Iruka says in a gentle tone, “let’s go”

Naruto’s small hand latches on to Iruka’s larger one. 

Without a backwards glance, Iruka leads the boy down the street. 

“What’s your name, niisan?” Naruto asks, looking up at him.

“I’m Iruka. What’s your name?”

“…Naruto”

“Ah, Naruto-kun,” Iruka laughs softly, “you’re destined to eat ramen”

“I’ve never had ramen”

“Well, there’s a first time for everything,” Iruka grins broadly, keeping a gentle but firm grip on the smaller hand and ignoring the disgusted glances he receives. Naruto moves closer, as if Iruka can be used as a shield. “You’ll like Ichiraku’s”

Kakashi follows, slinking in the shadows, but not before dropping in front of the trio of chunin and pulsing out his killing intent.

He watches as Iruka lifts Naruto up by the waist to set him on the stool.

“Teuchi-san!”

“Iruka-san, you brought company”

“This is Naruto. He’s never had ramen before”

“Well then, we’ll just have to make his extra special”

Kakashi thinks that Kohari would be proud of her son.

That had opened the floodgates. After that incident, Naruto became a permanent fixture in Iruka’s life and Kakashi’s observing may or may not have increased. He’s watched Iruka start working at the Mission Desk, helping the Sandaime with Tower security and general administrative tasks…

“Are you alright?”

Kakashi stirs awake. He blinks up at the figure in front of him. Iruka?

“…hhhngh?”

Iruka kneels down next to him.

“You’re, Hatake Kakashi, right?” Iruka asks gently. Kakashi nods, “um, why are you passed out in the rose garden? Do you live near here? Are you injured?”

“Ugh,” Kakashi catalogs his body. What happened? “Dunno”

Something funny happens to Iruka’s face and the younger man is wrapping Kakashi’s arm around his shoulder and hauling him to his feet.

“Chakra ‘xhaustion, I think,” Kakashi knows the feeling of his limbs being like jelly as chakra exhaustion recovery and can’t help sagging against Iruka.

“Alright,” Iruka easily shifts his grip, “I’m Umino Iruka, chunin”

“I know,” Kakashi mumbles. Iruka gives him a peculiar look but doesn’t say anything further as he drags Kakashi inside and sets him in a chair.

“Can I take your vest off, Hatake-san?” Iruka asks. Kakashi nods.

“Not…not Hatake. Kakashi,” he holds up a shaky finger. Iruka’s lips quirk in a smile.

“Kakashi-san, then,” he hums, peeling Kakashi’s vest off.

“Ruka-nii?” a small voice asks, “who is this?”

“This is Kakashi-san,” Iruka says, eyeing Kakashi warily as he shifts in front of Naruto defensively. It hurts that Iruka would think he would hurt Naruto. Kakashi realizes with a jolt that he recognizes the smiling ramen on the shirt that’s just this side of too-big for the kid. It makes his chest ache something fierce. “Kakashi-san, this is Naruto”

“Wow,” Kakashi says intelligently, “you are small”

Iruka’s lips quirk up and his shoulders relax. Naruto looks up at Iruka for help. Iruka rests a hand on his head. 

“Go wash your hands and you can help me make breakfast”

“Promise not to burn anything?” Naruto crinkles his nose. Iruka lightly swats his head.

“Cheeky little monkey,” Iruka says, “go. Wash hands, brush teeth. And comb that bird’s nest of hair”

Naruto giggles and runs down the hall.

“Two minutes for teeth brushing!” Iruka calls, “I’ll know if you don’t!” Kakashi hears a yell in affirmation before Iruka turns back to look at him.

“Minato-sensei was my jonin-sensei,” Kakashi says. Iruka’s eyes widen before he relaxes. 

“Naruto is a good kid,” Kakashi nods, “can you take off your shirt for me?”

Kakashi obeys. Normally he wouldn’t be so quick to undress in front of relative strangers, but this is Iruka. He trusts Iruka. He tugs his shirt off, hissing as the fabric catches on congealed blood.

“Ah,” Iruka hums, “I’ll be back in a moment,” Iruka says, disappearing down the hall. He hears Iruka say something, Naruto answers and then Iruka is back with a first aid kit and kneeling in front of Kakashi.

Kakashi remembers Kohari gently bandaging his arm. Iruka’s hands are soft and warm and Kakashi wants nothing more than to lean into his touch. He can’t remember the last time anyone touched him without attempting to kill him or rough, after mission sex.

Naruto is back. Peering over Iruka’s shoulder.

“That’s a lot of injuries,” Naruto stares up at Kakashi, both afraid and awed.

“Nothing big,” Kakashi reassures them, “I’ve had worse”

Iruka doesn’t look impressed and Kakashi winces at the gentle press of a warm washcloth against his skin.

“Naruto. I have a very important mission for you,” Kakashi is getting a sense of deja vu, “remember how I showed you how to boil water?” Naruto nods, “can you do that?”

“Yes sir!” Naruto says, darting into the kitchen.

“S-rank mission?” Kakashi grins. Iruka looks startled before blushing.

“He really wants to be a shinobi,” Iruka lowers his voice, “the Hokage, actually. So we play at being shinobi. Sometimes it’s the only way to get him to do chores and eat vegetables”

“Both good things,” Kakashi says, wiggling his fingers. He must be on the tail end of his chakra exhaustion. He glances down at his torso; he has a large bruise on his side and various slightly smaller cuts. The biggest is along his ribcage, which Iruka is tending to carefully. “Sorry,” he apologizes.

“It’s fine,” Iruka gently begins to wrap some kind of clear wrapping around his chest. “Though I’m sure Granny Miura will be sad about her rose bushes”

“I can replant them,” Kakashi panics, not wanting to upset Iruka. The smile he gets is small and a little amused. 

“It’s fine, Kakashi-san,” Iruka laughs, “I’m just teasing”

“Oh”

“Do you have any injuries on your legs?” Kakashi shakes his head. Nothing more than a couple small cuts. “Do you think you can handle a shower?”

“I think so,” Kakashi winces, “but I wouldn’t want to impose” 

“Kakashi-san, you’re half-naked in my kitchen,” Iruka looks amused, “I think we’re a little beyond that”

“Sorry”

“I’m teasing again, Kakashi-san”

“Oh”

Iruka’s face softens and he helps Kakashi to his feet. He’s able to take a few wobbly steps to the small bathroom with help.

“Should you really leave him alone with the stove?” Kakashi asks. Iruka laughs.

“The one thing that kid knows how to do is boil water and make tea. He’s actually getting very good at it”

Iruka sits Kakashi down on the side of the tub before filling it with water. 

“I should probably help you,” Iruka says, worried. Kakashi nods. As embarrassing as it is, he can’t actually move that much. “Get undressed and I’ll be back soon”

Kakashi obeys, grateful to have easy commands to follow. He hesitates for a moment on his mask, but then remembers this is Iruka. He trusts Iruka and Iruka has seen him maskless anyway.

In addition to the creeping embarrassment is a fluttering sensation in his stomach. 

He’s only vaguely aware of Iruka returning in a pair of shorts and shirtless, drifting in a haze of chakra exhaustion and general fatigue.

“Kakashi-san, your mask…”

“I don’t mind if it’s you,” Kakashi says. Iruka makes a confused sound but nods.

Iruka’s hands are warm and gentle as they wash all the blood and dirt and sweat off Kakashi’s skin and Kakashi finds himself drifting off.

“Kakashi-san, don’t go to sleep,” Iruka gently shakes him. “Here,” he hands him a washcloth, “wash your front, alright?” Kakashi listens, on autopilot as he swipes the cloth across his skin. “I’m going to dump water on your head,” Iruka says and Kakashi is grateful for the warning because the cascade of warm water down his shoulders makes him flinch. 

Iruka narrates everything he’s doing before he does it, giving Kakashi a chance to brace himself. He’s definitely more jumpy than he normally would be. So maybe the mission adrenaline hasn’t entirely worn off.

Everything passes in a haze and the next thing he’s aware of is sitting in a warm tub, trying to stay awake. Normally after missions, he takes a quick, generally cold shower, just long enough to clean himself off, before falling into bed.

The bath is nice. It eases the ache in his muscles and joints.

“Ruka-nii, the water is boiling!”

“I’ll be back in a minute,” Iruka says, “don’t fall asleep, Kakashi-san”

Kakashi nods. Iruka leaves the bathroom and Kakashi struggles. But he was given an order, so he needs to follow it. 

It feels like an eternity before Iruka is back. And another eternity before Kakashi is being commanded to get out of the tub. 

Iruka helps Kakashi out and gently towels him off. Kakashi is sluggish and feels like he’s receiving signals underwater. Iruka unravels the clear wrapping before replacing it with a roll of white bandages.

Kakashi’s limbs feel like lead as he dresses in the proffered clothes. They’re soft against his skin from repeated washings and Kakashi is grateful. His skin is always hypersensitive after chakra exhaustion and scratchy fabrics are awful.

His mask is slightly damp and smells like soap instead of blood and sweat. He looks at Iruka inquisitively. The younger man blushes a pretty shade of red. 

“I washed it in the sink when you were in the tub,” Iruka says slightly sheepishly and Kakashi wants to hug him.

Iruka is helping Kakashi back down the hallways and Kakashi has a moment where he wonders if he’s teleported because now he’s on the couch with a warm mug of tea in his hands.

“Eyepatch,” he points to his vest, “second pocket”

Iruka retrieves the eyepatch and Kakashi slips it on. With the eyepatch on, Kakashi is able to relax.

“What’s wrong with him?” he hears a small voice ask as he drinks the tea methodically.

“Chakra exhaustion,” Iruka explains, “he used too much chakra on his mission. Chakra exhaustion causes people to be very tired. Their muscles hurt and sometimes they can’t even move…”

He doesn’t even remember falling asleep to the sound of Iruka’s voice explaining his symptoms.

Chapter Text

The next time Kakashi wakes up, he’s in an unfamiliar but familiar apartment. The sun is beginning to set. Or maybe rise.

He groans slightly, the headache of chakra exhaustion is worse than a hangover.

“You’re awake”

Kakashi looks up and panic rockets through him. Why is Iruka here?

“Where-?”

“My apartment,” Iruka says, “I’m Umino Iruka. I found you passed out beneath my window this morning. You were suffering from chakra exhaustion”

“I’m so sorry,” Kakashi groans, pressing his palms to his eyes, “I-” now that he’s more aware, he can tell he’s wearing clothes that aren’t his. Strangely, his body doesn’t ache like usual. “I hope I wasn’t too much of an imposition,” he sits up gingerly, head pounding. 

“Here,” a glass of water and several small pills are placed in his hand, “they’re a mild painkiller, but they should help with the headache”

“Thank you,” Kakashi downs the entire glass of water. “I should probably-”

“You’re probably hungry,” Iruka cuts him off, “and you’re not going anywhere until I’m confident that you’re not going to pass out in an alley somewhere. Or another rose garden”

“Ah,” Kakashi winces, “I didn’t…I apologize if the damage was bad”

“It’s fine,” Iruka says, “the woman I rent this from probably won’t even notice and I’m not the gardening type. Though your chakra exhaustion must have been severe if you didn’t realize you had fallen asleep in a rose bush of all places”

“How long have I been here?”

“I’m not sure when you fell asleep in the rose bush, but you’ve been asleep on my couch for an entire day”

Kakashi is not surprised he ended up going to Iruka’s in his chakra exhausted haze, but it must have been worse than he thought if he had stayed long enough for Iruka to actually find him.

“I’m really sorry about all this,” Kakashi waves a hand. Iruka shakes his head.

“Don’t worry about it. Gave me a chance to teach my ward about chakra exhaustion”

“Ward?” a blonde face pops into his head, “ah, Naruto?”

“You remember?” 

Kakashi nods. He must have met Naruto today then. He’s not going to tell Iruka he’s been stalking him his entire life.

“He was very concerned about you,” Iruka smiles, “he was supposed to have a playdate with Inuzuka Kiba and I actually had to convince him to go with Hana when she came to get him”

“Playdate?”

“Mhm,” Iruka tugs his ponytail. “Tsume-san is one of the few adults who doesn’t absolutely despise him. Says he’s a good energy match for Kiba and whenever they play together Kiba is actually tired out afterwards. And Hana is a sweetheart”

“Oh,” Kakashi tilts his head, “I’m glad”

“Ah, let me get you something to eat,” Iruka says suddenly, getting to his feet, “just stay there, Kakashi-san, I know enough about chakra depletion to know you probably shouldn’t be moving around much”

Kakashi nods, grateful that Iruka is so considerate, and melts into the cushions of the couch. He catalogs his body now that the headache has abated. He’s actually not as sore as he usually is. His muscles are only tired rather than the sharp tension of normal. 

Iruka returns with a tray and sets it down in front of him. Eggplant miso and rice with egg. Kakashi tugs down his mask, knowing that if he can trust anyone to see his face it’s Iruka, and swallows a spoonful of the eggplant miso. 

“It’s nothing fancy,” Iruka laughs, “cooking is not one of my skills, but I know enough to make simple things”

“It’s delicious, thank you,” Kakashi murmurs as his dearest memory surfaces. It tastes exactly the way he remembers that night he stayed over with Iruka as a child. 

There’s a loud knocking on the door.

“Iruka! Did you get the notes for today?” a muffled voice shouts.

Iruka looks momentarily distressed. 

“Hey,” Kakashi shifts, suddenly worried about the change in behavior, “are you alright?” 

“Yeah, sorry, hold on,” Iruka gets up and goes to the door with a sheaf of papers. Kakashi tugs up his mask. “Mizuki, here,” he hands them to him, “should you really be taking missions if they’re cutting into your ability to study for the teaching exam?”

“I don’t need to study,” Kakashi has disliked Mizuki since they were children and the arrogant tone makes him want to hit him. “I’d pass even if I never went to classes. I only signed up because they’re mandatory”

“You really should be attending them,” Iruka says, “they cover topics that are really-”

“Don’t be such a nag, Ruka,” Mizuki sounds annoyed, “unlike you I want to be an actual shinobi too instead of just a teacher, which means I have to take missions to keep my edge”

“Mizuki-”

“Why aren’t you inviting me in?”

“Because I’m busy, I don’t have time to talk”

Suddenly, a man with shoulder-length pale blue hair is in the room, staring at Kakashi.

“Mizuki,” Iruka looks harried.

“What the fuck?” Mizuki blinks. Iruka sighs and grabs Mizuki’s wrist, Kakashi tries not to growl, pulling him into the kitchen.

Kakashi’s hearing is above average and he doesn’t hesitate to listen in.

“-Sharingan Kakashi, the Friend Killer?”

“Mizuki! That’s a horrible thing to say!”

“Hey, I’m not the one who came up with it”

“Still, we don’t know which rumors are true”

“Either way, he’s still the legend of our generation. He’s dangerous, Ruka”

“All shinobi are dangerous. Kakashi-san is no different”

Kakashi’s heart does a backflip in his chest.

“You can’t really be that naive. He’s a genius. He has the Sharingan. They call him Cold-Blooded Kakashi. And he’s just sitting in your living room!”

“Is there anyone you don’t talk poorly about?” Iruka sounds exasperated. “First Naruto, now-”

“I will never understand how you can care for the thing that killed your parents”

“I don’t. I care for Naruto. Naruto and the Fox are different. Just like Kakashi-san and Cold-Blooded Kakashi are different. If he wasn’t able to be ruthless enough to earn the moniker cold-blooded, then he would probably be dead”

Kakashi wants to kiss Iruka. The intensity of the feeling is almost overwhelming that it makes him dizzy.

“I thought you hated killing”

“I do. But that doesn’t mean I don’t understand why it’s necessary, especially for a shinobi”

“You just like picking up strays, don’t you”

“I’m too tired to have this discussion with you, Mizuki,” Iruka really does sound tired and Kakashi wants to get up and bodily throw Mizuki out the window, bundle Iruka into a blanket and hide him away. “Please leave”

“Fine,” Mizuki returns to the living room. He eyes Kakashi with distaste and what Kakashi thinks may be some level of jealousy. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Ruka,” he walks over to Iruka and pulls him into a tight, lingering hug. Iruka returns the hug without much enthusiasm but Mizuki shoots Kakashi a smug glance.

“Sorry,” Iruka apologizes when the door shuts, “he’s a good guy, just…he has strong opinions about things”

“He shouldn’t talk to you that way”

“I-”

“You’re studying to be a teacher?” Kakashi changes the subject. Iruka nods, looking embarrassed and Kakashi can guess why. “Don’t listen to him,” Kakashi says, pulling down his mask again, “taking missions isn’t the only measure of a shinobi. The Sandaime’s guards don’t go on missions, they’re no less of a shinobi. You have the training, the skills, the forehead protector, choosing a different path than missions doesn’t make you any less either”

Iruka’s eyes widen and he looks away, cheeks red.

“Kakashi-san, I…thank you,” he whispers. “It’s something I’ve been struggling with. I’ve always known I would never be very good at missions but I went on them anyways. Mizuki says I’m too soft-hearted and he’s right. But my friends don’t really understand why I don’t jump at the chance to go on back to back A-ranks”

“Being soft-hearted isn’t exactly a bad thing,” Kakashi says, he hates that Iruka is left feeling this way, “you accepted Naruto into your life, despite knowing what he is. You could have just left me in the rose bush to recover and make my own way home, but you didn’t. Shinobi like me are common, ones who can go out, shut off our conscience and kill. Shinobi like you, ones who went through the same training and have seen combat but still retain that level of humanity are rare. And special”

Iruka’s blush is a deep burgundy and gods, he’s so, so pretty like that. 

Oh. Kakashi is struck with the sudden realization that he’s in love with Iruka. 

The longer he thinks about it the more he realizes that of course he would be. It’s Iruka. He’s probably been in love with him since they were children.

Except. Iruka has no idea who Kakashi is. Not aside from whatever he’s heard about him. 

Well shit.

“When do you get done with training?” Kakashi asks, deciding to ignore his unceremonious revelation.

“Ah, I have another two weeks before the final exams,” he frowns, “except the first part is held in the capital and I have to go in person. I’d be gone for five days. And I’m not sure what to do about Naruto. It doesn’t feel right to ask Tsume-san to watch him, the only person I would trust enough is Anko but she’s, well, Anko. So I’ve thought maybe about postponing them a year-”

“I can watch him,” Kakashi says, half-regretting the words that left his mouth. Him? Watch a kid? 

Iruka looks surprised.

“I couldn’t ask you to do that, Kakashi-san”

“You’re not asking, I’m offering,” Kakashi says deciding he might as well lean into it. Maybe it’ll allow him to get closer to Iruka, “Minato-sensei was my jonin instructor. I, to be honest, I tried my best to help him when he was younger, but I’m not the most…well-equipped to care for a child like that”

“The vegetables? That was you?” Iruka asks in surprise, “and the money?”

“Yes,” Kakashi scratches the back of his head, “I wasn’t…” he trails off and looks at the miso soup, “I wasn’t in a good place, but I couldn’t stand to see my sensei’s son treated like that. When you came into his life, I knew I could rest easy knowing he was in good hands”

Iruka’s blush is quite possibly darker and he scratches at his scar.

“Kakashi-san…”

“Before you try to deny it,” Kakashi is well-aware of Iruka’s tendencies to refute compliments, “think about how many people would be willing to open their hearts and their homes to him”

Iruka exhales slowly and looks at the ground.

“He’s a good kid, Kakashi,” the absolutely broken tone in Iruka’s voice has Kakashi moving to kneel in front of him and taking his hands, “despite everything that has happened to him, he’s still so happy. He doesn’t deserve any of this. It’s not his fault he has the Nine-Tails in him and why can’t people see he’s just a child!?” Kakashi can hear the frustration boiling over and he wonders how long Iruka has kept all this in. Wet droplets land on Kakashi’s hands and he brings them up to lift Iruka’s head. As gently as possible, he wipes the tears away with his thumbs. 

“People will always see what they want to see,” Kakashi says grimly, his life has been nothing but a series of people seeing only what they want to see, “that’s why it’s so important that the people who do see him, the people who do recognize he’s so much more than the Nine-Tails’ vessel, give him as much support as possible,” Kakashi remembers Kohari and young Iruka and the easy way they both accepted him into their lives, even if just for a moment, and how the memory of that night has kept him going through the darkest points in his life, “if even just one person believes in him, one person sees him for who he is and not what he is, that can make all the difference”

Iruka sniffles, using his sleeve to wipe his face. “You’re very wise, Kakashi-san,” Iruka laughs softly, “I’m sorry, you must think me pathetic”

“Quite the opposite,” Kakashi says cheerfully, brushing his thumbs over Iruka’s brows before withdrawing his hands, “I think you’re incredibly strong. It takes a certain kind of strength to do what you’ve done and worry over someone like Naruto”

Kakashi can’t help but wonder if Iruka would be able to care for him too.

Iruka stares at a far off point as if thinking about something. He seems to make up his mind because he comes back to himself and looks at Kakashi.

“Naruto is supposed to be staying at the Inuzuka’s tonight,” Iruka says, “but he doesn’t do very well being away from me for long. I think he’s still insecure. So he’ll probably be back sometime before midnight. Would you like to stay and say hi to him? If…if you really are willing to watch him, he would do better with it if he spent time with you”

Kakashi hesitates. The thought of spending time around his sensei’s son is terrifying. But he had offered to watch him.

“If it’s not overstaying my welcome,” Kakashi says, “I’ve already taken up your couch for an entire day”

Iruka laughs. “It’s fine, Kakashi-san, although I can’t say I’ll be the best host. I do have some homework to finish up and some studying to do”

“I’m very good at entertaining myself,” Kakashi pulls his book from his pouch. Iruka’s nose crinkles.

“Is that-?”

“Not exactly,” Kakashi says sheepishly, tugging off the Icha Icha dust jacket to reveal a book about two warring samurai clans from the Land of Iron forced to work together to combat a foreign threat, “I finished Icha Icha a month ago. You can’t tell anyone my secret though”

Iruka looks at him incredulously before bursting into laughter. 

“I see,” he says, amused, “very well, Kakashi-san. Your secret is safe with me”

Kakashi settles on the couch with his book, but the truth is he’s more distracted by Iruka who has arranged books and notes in three concentric circles with him in the center.

“That’s an interesting method of studying,” Kakashi muses. Iruka blushes. 

“Visual representation,” Iruka points, “I can’t leave until I’ve reached the outer ring. The oldest material I’ve learned is here,” he points to the inner ring, “so that I refresh my memory before I reach the new material out there,” he points to the outermost ring.

Kakashi glances at some of the textbooks.

“Chakra theory?”

“Mhm. I’m going to be teaching a bunch of mini-nin how to control their chakra. Some of them may have some training, but many of them won’t know what chakra molding looks like if it bit them in the ass,” he eyes Kakashi, “there’s a very interesting chapter in here about chakra exhaustion, Kakashi-san”

“Eeeh,” Kakashi makes a sound and returns to his book, ignoring Iruka’s little pfft of laughter despite the lightness it brings to his chest.

Iruka has made it halfway through his third ring when there’s a quiet knock on the door. 

“Naruto,” Iruka says to Kakashi as he gets to his feet and answers the door. “Hello Hana-san”

“Hi Iruka-san,” a girlish voice comes from the doorway. Kakashi catches a glimpse of the girl. He recognizes her as a young genin he’s seen around with her three ninken.

“He wanted to go home”

“Thank you, Hana-san,” Iruka smiles, taking a dozing Naruto from her, “I’m sorry you had to bring him all the way over. At this point I should probably expect it and go get him myself”

Hana laughs. “It’s okay, Iruka-san, Kiba doesn’t really like to sleep anywhere else either. One day it’ll happen!” she ruffles Naruto’s hair, “good night, Iruka-san”

“Good night Hana-san, be safe going home”

Hana waves cheerfully before leaving. Naruto rubs his eyes and yawns.

“Hey little monkey,” Iruka says softly. “Didn’t want to stay with Kiba?”

“Kiba snores,” Naruto yawns again, “and farts in his sleep”

“I see,” Kakashi admires Iruka’s ability to keep a straight face at the seven year old’s words. “Hey, there’s someone I want you to say hi to,” Naruto stiffens in Iruka’s arms, his own coming up to wrap around Iruka’s neck. “It’s okay,” Iruka reassures him, “you already met him. Remember Kakashi-san?”

“Oh,” Naruto turns to blink sleepily at Kakashi. “The sleeping shinobi. Hello Sleeping Shinobi-san”

Kakashi tries not to choke too audibly at the nickname. Iruka’s lips quirk slightly. 

“Now who’s a sleeping shinobi?” Iruka teases, carrying Naruto down the hall. Kakashi follows and hangs back outside the door.

Iruka’s room is surprisingly impersonal with a dresser, a wooden chest, a bed and a futon. He sets Naruto down on the futon. 

“Ruka-nii?”

“Hm?”

“Will you sing to me?”

Kakashi holds his breath, feeling his heart leap in his chest. 

He’s heard Iruka singing the lullaby for Naruto many times, but there’s something different about seeing Iruka singing it and running his hand through his hair. The soft baritone is soothing to the ear and the gentle expression on Iruka’s face makes Kakashi feels like his heart is being squeezed in a vice.

Naruto is out cold before Iruka is even halfway through the second verse but Iruka continues to sing until the lullaby is over. Kakashi watches with baited breath as Iruka presses a gentle kiss to Naruto’s forehead. 

“You have a very nice voice,” Kakashi says quietly. Iruka blushes.

“It’s a lullaby my parents used to sing to me,” his gaze goes faraway, “it may seem silly, but it always helped me sleep”

“Not silly at all,” Kakashi says, remembering Iruka’s childish voice singing softly. A voice that has always helped him whenever he’s lost and lonely, desperate and alone.

“He’ll be starting at the Academy next year,” Iruka says with a sigh, “funny enough, we’ll be starting at the same time, assuming I pass my exams”

“You will,” Kakashi says. Iruka looks dubious.

“Mizuki is concerned about my progress”

“Don’t listen to him,” Kakashi can’t keep the harsh edge from his voice. “Nothing he has said to you is kind. All he does is put you down”

Iruka sighs, “he doesn’t mean to, he’s just like that. He’s just blunt”

Kakashi holds his tongue. As far as Iruka is concerned, he only met Kakashi twenty-four hours ago, most of which Kakashi spent asleep. 

“Have more faith in yourself,” Kakashi says, picking up his book and gesturing to the mess on Iruka’s floor, “the work you’re putting in will pay off in the end”

Iruka sighs. “I hope you’re right, Kakashi-san”

“It’s late, I should let you get some rest,” Kakashi picks up his vest and forehead protector. “Thank you for letting me intrude today”

“You weren’t an intrusion,” Iruka says softly, “if you really are sure about being willing to watch Naruto for five days…”

“I am”

“Would you like to get dinner with us tomorrow night?” Iruka asks, “we always go to Ichiraku’s on Wednesdays. It’s like a tradition”

“If you don’t mind,” Kakashi feels giddy at the prospect of spending more time with Iruka. “What time?”

“Usually around seven. I work at the Mission Desk part-time and my Wednesday shift is always done at six-thirty”

Kakashi knows this, but he doesn’t let on that he knows this.

“Seven it is,” he slides his shoes on and looks at Iruka. He wants nothing more than to spend the rest of the night in his comforting presence, maybe he could even convince him to sing the lullaby for him. 

But Iruka doesn’t know him.

“I’ll see you tomorrow then, Kakashi-san,” Iruka smiles his genuine smile. 

“Tomorrow,” Kakashi murmurs, feeling his heart flip in his chest. 

His own apartment feels cold and lonely, but it doesn’t bother him the same way it usually does. He strips off his clothes and climbs into his bed.

He’s still a little fatigued from his bout of chakra exhaustion, but his mind is at peace. He makes the executive decision that he’s tired of watching from the distance and he wants to get closer to Iruka.

Chapter Text

Kakashi is excessively nervous.

He’s not even entirely sure why he’s nervous. Sure, he’ll be spending time with both Iruka and Naruto while awake, but he doesn’t think that’s all.

He finds himself waiting outside the Hokage Tower because he’s afraid that if he doesn’t, he’ll get waylaid and end up being late. He doesn’t want to be late to this.

He sees the familiar brown ponytail bobbing through the doors and he freezes up. 

What if Iruka didn’t want to see him here? What if he would rather meet him at Ichiraku’s? Was this too presumptuous of him?

“Kakashi-san,” Iruka says in surprise before Kakashi can flee.

“I hope you don’t mind me waiting for you”

“Not at all,” Iruka smiles, falling in step with Kakashi. He ignores the curious and disbelieving stares shot their way with a practiced ease and Kakashi finds it easier to breathe. “Naruto is with Anko today, so we have to go pick him up”

Kakashi hadn’t realized how much of his anxiety had been tied up in Iruka being too ashamed to be seen with him in public.

“Good shift?” Kakashi asks, keeping his book in front of his face as a shield.

“One of the better ones,” Iruka laughs, “I didn’t have to yell at anyone today”

Kakashi is aware of Iruka’s reputation amongst the other shinobi. He has a good half of the jonin and almost all the chunin population scared of him. 

“Well, I suppose that’s good,” Kakashi says.

“Are you not taking missions, Kakashi-san?”

“Ah, I figured I’d get another day of rest after yesterday”

Standard jonin missions are so much easier than the missions Kakashi was taking as ANBU. He can easily complete Bs and most As in his sleep and usually in less than the predicted timeframe so there’s never any rush to take missions. He’ll meet his monthly quota regardless.

“Good,” Iruka smiles at him.

They reach the jonin apartment blocks and Iruka knocks on the door of 2B.

“Ruka-nii! Anko-neechan is teaching me how to make murder lunch!” Naruto says, flying out the door, arms latching around Iruka’s waist.

Kakashi chokes.

Murder lunch?

“Mitarashi Anko!” Iruka shouts, “what have I said about teaching Naruto about murder lunch!”

“Aww, Ru, I didn’t let him eat it,” Anko says, popping out. Her gaze lands on Kakashi and surprise flashes across her face.

“Kakashi-san offered to watch Naruto while I take my exams,” Iruka explains in a low voice that Kakashi only hears because of his enhanced senses, “we’re getting Naruto acclimated to him”

“Oh,” Anko blinks, “I guess that makes sense? Why didn’t you ask Biki?”

Biki? Kakashi blinks as he realizes Anko is talking about Morino Ibiki. Commander of the Torture and Interrogation Unit. He had known Iruka and Anko were close to Ibiki, Iruka had especially gravitated to the older man after Asuma left. But he hadn’t realized they were close enough to call him by such a childish nickname.

“Because Biki is a workaholic,” Iruka shakes his head, “and I don’t want Naruto in T&I”

“We survived spending time there”

“I’m not worried for him. I’m worried for T&I”

“They survived you”

“Yes, well, they don’t need a repeat”

Anko shrugs. “Good luck then”

“Neh, Anko-neechan, will we make murder lunch again tomorrow?”

“Maybe. If you can convince Ruka to let you”

Iruka groans. “Anko, you can’t be teaching him that yet. Wait until he’s in the Academy at least”

“Fine, fine,” Anko waves a hand. “I’ve gotta go turn off the stove,” she kisses his cheek, waves at Kakashi, and starts down the hall.

“Naruto, do you remember Kakashi-san?” Naruto nods. “He’s coming to Ichiraku’s with us, is that okay?”

Naruto looks a little hesitant, clinging to Iruka tighter. “Always?” 

“No,” Iruka shakes his head, “like sometimes Anko-neechan or Biki-niisan come with us,” Naruto relaxes at that.

“Okay”

Iruka ruffles his hair and takes his hand. Naruto skips along next to Iruka, chattering a mile a minute about everything he did at Anko’s.

“Murder lunch?” Kakashi asks quietly. Iruka’s cheeks flush.

“Ah, well, growing up…Anko and I learned that it’s possible to build up an immunity to certain poisons by ingesting small amounts,” he scratches his scar.

Kakashi chokes at the implication.

“You…you intentionally poisoned yourself?”

“Not enough to do any serious damage,” Iruka shakes his head, “and we had antidotes in case we accidentally added too much. Or we’d just go find Genma-san and he usually had antidotes”

Kakashi stares at Iruka. He had assumed Iruka was sane. 

But then he rethinks. 

Anyone who is willing to be friends with Anko and Ibiki, practically adopt Naruto, and spend time with Kakashi in public is probably far from sane.

“You hide it very well”

“Hm?” Iruka looks up.

“You sure you don’t want to become a jonin?” Kakashi asks.

Iruka laughs as they reach Ichiraku’s. 

“Hello Teuchi-san!”

“Iruka! Naruto! Welcome!” Teuchi grins, “you brought a friend?”

“Teuchi-san, have you met Kakashi-san?”

“A couple of times when he was much younger!” Teuchi chortles, “good to see you Kakashi-san”

Kakashi is grateful Teuchi doesn’t mention his old team.

Iruka sets Naruto on the stool between Iruka and Kakashi. He leans a bit closer to Iruka and Kakashi tries not to let it hurt. He reminds himself that Naruto doesn’t know him. Like Iruka, Kakashi is going to have to win him over too.

Kakashi listens to Naruto talk animatedly about literally everything. He’s reminded a bit of Iruka when he was young. Despite being the spitting image of his father, Naruto’s personality is exactly like his mother.

Iruka and Naruto get into an argument over why vegetables are an important part of one’s diet and the fact that someone can’t just eat ramen every day. Teuchi joins in at that point, siding with Naruto. Kakashi watches the spectacle with a fond sort of warmth. It’s clear this is a regular occurrence.

“What about you Kakashi-san?” Iruka asks, turning to look at him. Kakashi hesitates. 

He decides that if he can win over Naruto, he’ll be on Iruka’s good side regardless of his view on vegetables.

“Maa, I don’t know,” he taps his chin, “I do like eggplant quite a bit. I say it depends on the ramen. If it’s Ichiraku’s ramen, I’d eat it every day”

Naruto cheers at having successfully recruited someone to the ramen side and Teuchi chuckles. Iruka feigns a put out expression of misery, but the amusement dancing at the edges of his wide brown eyes gives him away.

That seems to have broken some of the ice between Kakashi and Naruto because the boy chatters more freely and his resemblance to Kashina becomes more pronounced. 

He’s in the middle of gushing about the Inuzuka clan’s nindogs when Kakashi sees another opportunity.

“I have ninken,” Kakashi says. Blue eyes widen.

“Really?” Naruto asks in shock. “Where are they?” he looks around like Kakashi’s ninken will pop out of thin air which is not exactly inaccurate.

“I have to summon them,” Kakashi says, “they live somewhere else”

“Can I meet them?”

“How about when we’re done eating I’ll summon one of them?”

“How many do you have?”

“Eight”

“Eight!?” Naruto gasps, even Iruka looks shocked. “Kiba’s sister only has three,” Naruto launches into a story about Hana’s ninken and how Akamaru peed on the closet pervert.

Kakashi isn’t sure who the “closet pervert” is but Iruka seems to know based on his expression.

There’s something painfully normal about sitting at Ichiraku’s with Iruka and Naruto and listening to the boy chatter. Kakashi is a little scared of normal. Especially when it’s a nice normal.

Kakashi pays for their ramen and startles as Naruto throws his arms around Kakashi’s waist, nearly knocking him off the stool.

Iruka looks away to hide his smile.

“Can I meet your ninken?” Naruto asks, staring up at Kakashi, eyes wide, arms still around his waist.

“Sure,” he hopes his pack won’t hate him too much for this, “let’s go somewhere quieter”

“The Academy training ground is empty,” Iruka says, “I can get us in”

“Sounds like a plan,” Kakashi shoots an eye smile at Iruka and Naruto cheers.

Iruka dismantles the frankly complex series of wards. 

“Why are there so many?” Kakashi lifts up his forehead protector to examine it with his Sharingan. The system is complex and heavily fortified. Lethal wards preventing anyone from getting in, but nonlethal wards that would prevent anyone from getting out.

Iruka scratches the bridge of his nose. “We had a problem with jonin using it for their own training when they couldn’t find a training ground. They were destroying it, so myself and another teacher devised a new system”

“This was your work?” Kakashi asks in shock. Maybe Iruka did take after Kohari more than he thought.

“Joint effort,” Iruka resets the wards. “Once you know the correct series of hand signs, it’s actually very easy to bypass. But the hand signs aren’t anything that would be even remotely suspected”

“Very clever,” Kakashi says, feeling a burst of pride. Iruka blushes and scratches his scar, leading them to the center of the field.

Kakashi bites his thumb and summons the pack, watching amusedly as both Iruka’s and Naruto’s eyes widen in shock at the eight ninken.

“Boss! What’s up boss!”

“Guys, this is Uzumaki Naruto,” he says the name very seriously. Recognition flickers through them and Pakkun nods something.

Kakashi watches as Naruto is immediately piled by the dogs, chattering about themselves. Naruto’s high, clear laughter makes Kakashi smile.

“I think you just made his whole week,” Iruka says with a fond smile as the pack chases Naruto across the field. “You didn’t have to do that”

“I wanted to,” Kakashi says. “The kid could use some happiness”

Iruka stares at him with wide brown eyes, tears glittering at the corners.

“Sorry,” Iruka laughs, blinking rapidly, “it’s just, hearing someone else say that…” he trails off looking content. “You’re a kind person, Kakashi-san”

Kakashi finds he’s the one who’s blushing now.

Not like you he thinks, watching as Bisuke jumps on Naruto. He glances at Iruka, who is watching the scene with a fond expression and Kakashi finds that he’s ridiculously, hopelessly lost.

Eventually, the pack and Naruto tire each other out. 

“Say bye to everyone,” Kakashi says when Bisuke flops onto his side. 

“Bye Pakkun, Bull, Bisuke, Uhei, Shiba, Guruko, Akino, Urushi,” Naruto pets each one on the head as he says their name. Kakashi is rather impressed he remembers them all.

“Bye!” their voices chorus and seven of them disappear in puffs of smoke.

Pakkun pads over to sit in front of Iruka. He tilts his head to stare at him.

“Hello,” Iruka says, a little bemused.

“The pup smells like you,” Pakkun says.

“Ah, well, he lives with me”

Pakkun nods, appraising Iruka before glancing at Kakashi. “You’ll do”

“Um, thank you?” Iruka looks at Kakashi in confusion as Pakkun puffs away. Kakashi is definitely not going to tell Iruka how often he’s talked about him to his pack over the years so he shrugs. 

“Ready to go little monkey?” Iruka walks over to where Naruto is laying facedown in the grass. Iruka scoops him up. “Ugh, you’re gonna be too big for me to carry one day, you know”

Naruto giggles.

“Then I can carry you!”

“That’ll be the day,” Iruka snorts, “I’ll be an old man by the time you’re big enough to carry me!”

“You’re already an old man, Ruka-niisan”

“You little brat!” Naruto’s shrill giggles as Iruka pokes him in the sides makes Kakashi chuckle. 

Naruto yawns. “One day, when I’m Hokage, I’ll definitely be strong enough to carry you!”

“We’ll see,” Iruka says fondly. 

Kakashi walks with them back to Iruka’s apartment. He’s startled when Naruto hugs him tightly around the waist before running inside.

“Well,” Iruka says, smiling softly, “I think he likes you”

Kakashi stares after Naruto with a soft smile.

“Who would have guessed it was as easy as ramen and ninken?” Kakashi teases lightly.

“He’s an easy child,” Iruka laughs, “but he’s guarded. He doesn’t let people into his inner circle easily. Even with the time he spends at the Inuzuka’s, he still doesn’t hug any of them. So far, it’s just been me, Anko, and now you”

Kakashi thinks Iruka is also guarded in his own way. Hiding behind politeness and manners, smiles for everyone so that they don’t see his true feelings.

Kakashi bids Iruka goodnight and Iruka wishes him luck on his mission, entreating him to come back safely.

Laying in bed and replaying the day, Kakashi tucks the memory close to his heart right next to the one from his childhood. 

Before he falls asleep he wonders if this is what it would feel like to have a real family.

Chapter Text

The mission is, for once, a perfectly ordinary marked three day long A-rank. Sure he has to kill a couple bandits and a missing-nin from Takigakure, but overall it’s highly successful and he doesn’t even end up chakra depleted.

He thinks Iruka would be proud.

He returns to Konoha, wondering if it’s too late to go visit Iruka, when he sees a little boy sitting on a park bench alone.

He freezes at the familiar dark eyes. 

This kid…

Itachi’s beloved baby brother.

The sole survivor of the massacre.

Kakashi isn’t sure what prompts him to approach Sasuke. He should know he’s not good with conversation and he’s not good with kids.

But a part of him feels responsible for not having seen Itachi’s instability earlier and another, larger part, recognizes that deep, aching loneliness and grief in deep dark eyes and remembers Kohari’s and Iruka’s easy acceptance.

“Hey”

The boy looks up, eyes wide, before glaring. 

“Go away”

“Sorry,” Kakashi holds up his hands. “I was wondering if anyone was sitting here,” he points to the perpendicular bench. The boy doesn’t say anything so Kakashi shrugs.

He slumps down and pulls out his book, pretending to read. He subtly lifts up his forehead protector to rub at his Sharingan and can see Sasuke eyeing him suspiciously. 

“You have a Sharingan”

“Yup”

“Did you steal it?”

“No. Someone gave it to me”

“Who?”

“An old friend”

Sasuke looks disgruntled at that. He doesn’t say anything more. Kakashi turns a page. Waits. The kid stands up and walks away.

Kakashi sighs. Well, that was a complete failure.

What would Iruka do in this situation?

“Hey, do you want to get ramen?”

Sasuke levels him with a flat look.

“I hate ramen”

Okay then. Kakashi shrugs and turns back to his book. Definitely bad with kids. He waits a few more minutes before sighing and getting to his feet, making his way back to the sidewalk.

“Kakashi-san?”

“Yo,” Kakashi feels his pulse quicken as he turns to see Iruka standing a few feet away and holding grocery bags.

“How was your mission? Did you just get back?”

“I did, it actually went well for once”

“Don’t jinx it for next time,” Iruka teases, shifting the groceries. “Actually, perfect timing, I was just about to make dinner for Kiba and Naruto. Do you want to join?”

Kakashi hesitates.

“There’s two of them?”

He’s not sure why Iruka bursts out laughing at that. 

“Yes, Kakashi-san, there’s two of them,” Iruka’s eyes glitter in the setting sun. “I imagine you and Kiba would have a lot to talk about. He’s been wanting to meet you since Naruto hasn’t shut up about your ninken”

“I see. I’m…I’m not very good with kids,” Kakashi admits with a wince, worried Iruka will look at him differently. 

The handsome features soften and Iruka’s smile is sweet. 

“I think you’re better than you give yourself credit for, Kakashi-san. You won Naruto over”

“Ah, he was easy”

“Kiba is easier”

Kakashi hesitates. “I tried talking to a kid today and I think he hates me now,” he confesses.

Iruka bursts out laughing. “I’m sure that’s not the case, Kakashi-san. Did you know him?”

“Sort of?” Kakashi scratches the back of his head, “but I guess he doesn’t really know me. I tried to invite him for ramen and he said he hated it”

Iruka’s expression is immeasurably soft and he shakes his head.

“How about this?” he hands Kakashi a bag of groceries which Kakashi takes instinctively, realizing too late that he now has to go with Iruka. “You can practice getting along with kids by meeting Kiba”

Kakashi follows Iruka silently. He has some of his groceries after all. Iruka chats easily about his time at the Mission Desk before asking about Kakashi’s mission.

“It wasn’t particularly exciting,” Kakashi hums, “one of the few times an A-rank is accurately marked as an A-rank instead of an S-rank in disguise”

“Oh, well that’s good,” Iruka says cheerfully, “and no chakra exhaustion either,” he winks and Kakashi feels heat suffuse his cheeks. 

He chuckles. “I only reserve that for special occasions,” Kakashi says, delighting at Iruka’s laugh as he unlocks the door to his townhome.

“Guess who I found?” Iruka calls out. 

“Kaka-nii!” Kakashi doesn’t even have time to process the nickname before Naruto is barreling towards him. “Kiba! Kiba! Kaka-nii is here! He has the ninken I was telling you about!”

Another holler from the kitchen and suddenly a second kid has appeared. Definitely an Inuzuka; messy brown hair and wild eyes, a feral grin and red triangles on his cheeks. 

“Whoa! You’re cool!” Kiba grins, “why do you wear a mask?”

“Ah,” Kakashi looks at Iruka for help. Iruka smiles softly.

“Let’s let Kakashi-san get settled before you start asking him questions,” Iruka says, “why don’t you guys go to the park for a bit while he helps me make dinner and then you can ask Kakashi-san all kinds of questions”

Kakashi isn’t sure if his panic is palpable, but Iruka obviously picks up on it because he smiles reassuringly.

“Come on!” Naruto yells, “race you there!” 

“You’re on!”

Kakashi watches as the pair take off out the door. Iruka sighs.

“I have no idea how Tsume-san handles them”

“I think she has them run around the dog pen,” Kakashi says, “I used to visit her when I was younger than them”

“Ah? You’re close with the Inuzukas?”

“Um,” Kakashi sets the groceries down, “my mother. She was an Inuzuka”

“Oh,” Iruka smiles warmly, “that explains the ninken then,” he begins to remove the groceries from the bag. “Kakashi-san, how are you at cooking?”

“Not bad. Why?” 

“Will you help me?” Iruka laughs, “I’m not the most amazing cook but Kiba and Naruto will eat pretty much anything”

Kakashi finds it rather charming.

“What were you planning on making?” 

“Well, I may have gone overboard buying groceries, since the market was having a bunch of sales. So I was thinking…”

“Iruka-nii! Shika and Choji are here!”

Iruka sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose before cycling through the five stages of grief in less than a minute.

“Who-?” based on Iruka’s reaction, Kakashi is anxious.

“I’m sorry,” Iruka whispers as Naruto and Kiba enter trailed by two more kids. 

He recognizes the Akimichi and the Nara kid.

“Hello, Shikamaru, Choji,” Iruka waves, smile bright as though he didn’t just have a mini-breakdown

“Can they stay for dinner?” Naruto hollers.

“Inside voice!” Iruka shouts back. Kakashi bites the inside of his mouth to not laugh. The Nara kid, Shikamaru, raises an eyebrow.

“They’ve multiplied,” Kakashi whispers.

“This sometimes happens,” Iruka whispers back. “Good thing I got a lot of food. The best option here is rice and yaki udon”

“Iruka-san who is that?” the Akimichi, Choji, points at Kakashi.

“That’s Kaka-nii!” Naruto says.

“He’s cool cause he has ninken!” Kiba adds. Kakashi blinks at the assessment. So being cool to kids means ninken. Noted.

“Do you have snacks?” Choji asks, eyeing Kakashi suspiciously.

“Uh, no, sorry”

Choji shrugs, looking less than impressed by Kakashi.

Shikamaru, looks at Kakashi before shaking his head and mumbling something, disappearing into the living room.

Kakashi hasn’t even said anything and yet he’s disappointing these kids. Go figure.

“Sometimes Shikamaru comes here to sleep on the couch,” Iruka explains, boiling the noodles, “I’m not sure why. We also play shogi together sometimes”

“Probably to get away from his mother,” Kakashi says, pulling out what has to be an army of vegetables from two of the bags. “Shikaku used to regularly nap in the jonin ready room”

“Huh,” Iruka blinks. 

“Do they come over often?” Kakashi asks, watching through the doorway as Kiba and Naruto get progressively louder while Shikamaru rolls onto his side and puts a pillow over his head.

“Surprisingly, no. Usually they spend time at the park together. Or wandering around town, cut those please,” Kakashi quickly chops the vegetable army while he watches the chaos of, mostly Kiba and Naruto, “Shikamaru comes by a little more often. And Naruto usually goes over to Kiba’s. My apartment isn’t exactly a good size for rambunctious boys…” he glances over his shoulder and sighs. “No fighting in the house!” Iruka calls out when it seems like Naruto is about to launch himself at Kiba. “Take it outside!”

“Is that okay?” Kakashi asks.

Iruka shrugs. “It’s either here or outside. Outside there’s less they can break”

Kakashi looks at the Akimichi kid staring at the groceries still on the table.

“What about that one?” he points. 

Iruka hands Choji a packet of chips from a cabinet before shooing him out the door. 

Silence falls and Kakashi lets out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. 

“You don’t have to stay,” Iruka says kindly, “I know I promised it would only be two of them,” his lips quirk up.

Kakashi studies him. Soft brown eyes and a gentle smile, wisps of hair falling from his ponytail. How easy it is for Iruka to open both his heart and his home to everyone. He wants to be part of whatever spell Iruka is able to weave to make everyone feel welcome, feel at home.

He wonders if Iruka would be able to get Sasuke to talk to him. He doesn’t even know why he wants Sasuke to talk to him. 

If he wants to be a regular part of Iruka’s life, he should probably get used to kids anyways.

“I’ll stay,” Kakashi says quietly.

Iruka looks surprised but at the smile that spreads across his face, Kakashi decides he’d deal with it even if there were twenty of them just to see Iruka smile like that again.

Cooking with Iruka is far too easy. Even if Iruka is something of a kitchen disaster. 

Kakashi quickly catches a knife before it lands on Iruka’s foot and wraps an arm around Iruka’s waist to pull him out of the way of a wok that falls from the top of his refrigerator when he bumps it.

Iruka is warm and solid against his chest, the ends of soft hair brushing against his cheek. He smells faintly like green tea and ink and Kakashi wants to remove his mask and bury his face against Iruka’s neck until he’s memorized his scent. He knows his heart is racing behind his ribcage.

“Sorry,” Iruka says breathlessly. Hands gripping Kakashi’s arm as he stares at the wok with pink cheeks. 

“It’s okay,” Kakashi responds, instinctively squeezing before reluctantly letting Iruka go.

Iruka then boils the water too long and spills soy sauce on the counter.

Eventually though, they have what has to be enough food for all of Konoha.

“Can you put these on the table, Kakashi-san?” Iruka asks, “I’m going to go wrangle”

Kakashi shudders, grateful that Iruka didn’t send him after the kids.

He’d probably break one or something.

He hears chaos before he sees it; laughter and shouting. It’s a lot until Iruka claps his hands and silence falls. “Alright. If we’re gonna eat, everyone has to wash their hands! And no fighting. If my bathroom looks like a swimming pool again, you’re all going to have to clean it up before you get to eat”

That strikes fear in Choji’s eyes. Naruto also looks wary, but Kakashi would wager that’s because he knows Iruka will follow through on his threats.

Iruka doesn’t seem too concerned about the commotion that arises from the bathroom before all four are traipsing back in and sitting down at the low, long table.

“What are the table rules?” Iruka asks.

“No napping at the table,” Shikamaru drawls.

“No throwing food,” Kiba adds.

“Breathe between bites,” Choji says. “And share the food”

“No fighting at the table and feet stay on the floor,” Naruto finishes. “Also pants are required”

Kakashi raises an eyebrow at what caused that rule to be placed but his mind helpfully supplies him with an image of Iruka leaning against the kitchen window with his hair down, holding a mug of green tea and clad only in one of Kakashi’s shirts, dark marks against the brown column of his neck.

He’s grateful he has a mask on because he can feel the blood begin to dribble from his nose and quickly focuses on the kids. 

“Whoever breaks a rule is on dish duty afterwards”

It’s a form of controlled chaos that Kakashi has never seen before. Iruka handles the four kids with ease. He seems to know when Naruto and Kiba are about to start fighting, he reminds Choji that the food is for everyone, and asks Shikamaru to pass something when it looks like he’s going to drift into a daydream.

Kakashi watches the scene in amazement. He’s grateful he’s mostly been forgotten about.

Until Kiba turns to him.

“Naruto says you have eight ninken”

“I do”

“Why don’t you keep them with you?” 

“Because they can’t be on this plane for very long”

“So they live somewhere else?”

“Yup”

“Why do you have a mask?” Choji squints at him.

“Choji, what did I say about talking with a full mouth?” Iruka redirects the conversation away from Kakashi. “Shikamaru, can you please pass the soy sauce?”

“Troublesome,” he blinks and straightens from his slouch.

“How old are your ninken?” Kiba asks. 

Kakashi spends the rest of the dinner answering questions about his ninken and ninken care, which is infinitely preferable to personal questions.

But it still leaves him drained at the end of the night. Iruka lets Choji finish off the rest of the leftovers before clearing the dishes.

Kakashi goes to move his weapon pouch out of the way when he comes across a bag of shrimp chips he had put there earlier in the week. Gai had foisted them off on him after a challenge. Kakashi hates shrimp chips so he had been intending to toss them. 

“Hey! Kid!” Kakashi calls. Four heads turn and he blinks. “Ah, Choji, catch,” he tosses the shrimp chips at him. 

“Sweet!” Choji grins, “my favorite flavor!” he crunches happily. “You’re right Kiba, Kaka-nii is cool”

Kakashi can’t help the blush that crawls across his features, grateful for the mask. He catches the smile that Iruka quickly hides by turning to face the sink.

“We’re going to the park!” Naruto calls.

“Be back when it gets dark!” Iruka calls back.

“Kay”

“That was exhausting,” Kakashi says, slumping against the wall once the door is closed.

Iruka laughs, beginning to wash the dishes, “they can be a handful,” Kakashi moves to help him, “oh, don’t worry about it, you did most of the cooking”

“How do you do it?” Kakashi asks, thinking about Sasuke’s lonely figure. It’s too raw, too close to Kakashi’s own childhood. “How do you get them to…” he gestures helplessly.

“Is this about the kid you mentioned earlier?”

Kakashi nods.

“I just try to relate to them,” Iruka shrugs. “You saw how Kiba decided you were cool the minute he found out you had ninken too. Choji is just happy if you give him food. Shikamaru, he’s a little harder, but he’s also probably the easiest of the four to handle and as long as I let him sleep uninterrupted he’s content”

Kakashi mulls Iruka’s words over in his head.

“Kakashi-san”

“Hm?”

“What is it about this kid that makes you want to talk to him?”

Kakashi isn’t sure how much he can say.

Or what he wants to say. 

“It’s Uchiha Sasuke”

Iruka sucks in a quiet breath. “Ah,” he says, “I see. Well,” he taps his chin, “here, hold on,” Iruka ducks into his living room. Kakashi takes the opportunity to finish the dishes before Iruka returns. Brown eyes track over the cleaned and dried dishes in exasperation as he holds out a book.

Psychology of Childhood Trauma

Kakashi flips it open.

“It’s one of my textbooks,” Iruka scratches his scar sheepishly. “Maybe it would help, if you really want to talk to him. I think it would be good for him. He probably doesn’t have anyone to talk to”

“Are you sure you don’t need it?”

“I had a crash-course in handling traumatized children,” Iruka scratches his nose sheepishly. “Unfortunately the Icha Icha dust jacket may not fit”

Kakashi rifles through his pouch, pulling out his book, a civilian romance novel between two members of opposing feudal families, and pulling the dust jacket off before sliding it over the textbook. It’s definitely a little small, but probably not noticeable unless someone is looking closely.

“Almost perfect,” Kakashi says with a grin, even if Iruka can’t see. Iruka laughs. “I should probably go”

“You’re probably tired,” Iruka says, “I didn’t mean for dinner to be so chaotic”

“It’s fine,” Kakashi says, “it was,” he hesitates, “fun,” he can’t keep the surprise from his voice. He had really thought spending time with four kids was fun?

It had been lively and loud, a strange warmth that had suffused his chest when he stopped Kiba from throwing food before Iruka caught it and sharing a commiserating expression with Shikamaru when Naruto knocked over the soy sauce.

So unlike Kakashi’s usual quiet and solitary life.

He probably would have been happiest being able to just sit back and observe it all, rather than contribute or worry about being asked something personal.

But talking about ninken with an Inuzuka is always entertaining. 

“Oh, Kakashi-san?”

“Hm?” he glances over from the open door.

“Welcome home”

Kakashi leaves with the memory of Iruka’s soft, warm gaze. Iruka has said it to him at the Mission Desk before, but there’s something far more intimate about him saying it now.

Chapter Text

He actually does read the textbook. It’s a surprisingly interesting read and Kakashi wonders if he had someone who did these things for him whether he would be a better adjusted adult.

Unfortunately, he doesn’t think he’s capable of doing these things for someone else.

Provide structure and consistency.

Ease transitions.

Provide choices.

Encourage strengths and interests.

All well and good for actual teachers, but Kakashi sees the kid sporadically if at all.

Like now. Two days later. Sasuke is sitting on the same bench. Kakashi, against his better judgment, approaches him and drops down on his regular bench.

This time the glare is maybe a two on a scale of five. But Sasuke still doesn’t say anything.

He remembers Kiba being impressed that he has ninken.

“Hey, do you want to meet my ninken?”

“Why are you talking to me?” Sasuke glares a four. “You’re not some pervert are you?”

“No!” Kakashi holds up his hands, “you just reminded me of someone”

“Oh,” the suspicious glare doesn’t lessen.

“Look,” Kakashi sits down, “I know what it’s like to be alone. It sucks”

“You don’t know anything,” Sasuke glares a three, “you don’t know what it’s like!”

“You’re the Uchiha kid,” Kakashi rests his chin in his palm. “Do you know who I am?”

“Hatake Kakashi. My clan hated you”

“Ah, yeah,” he scratches the back of his head, “they didn’t like that I have a Sharingan”

Sasuke glares a five. Kakashi watches him impassively.

“Do you have anyone?” Kakashi finds himself asking.

“What do you think”

“I didn’t either”

Sasuke looks up, eyes wide. Kakashi resists the urge to fidget anxiously at revealing something about himself. But Iruka had said to try and relate to him.

“I didn’t and it made everything that much worse,” Kakashi grits out. This kid looks so small. So much smaller even than Naruto. 

Kakashi doesn’t do well with exposing his feelings like this. Even this much has left him raw, like an exposed nerve. So he stands and slides his hands in his pockets.

“Night,” he says, walking away from the bench and cursing his failure. Again.

“How did you handle it?” Sasuke calls after him.

Kakashi stops. Sighs. Because he didn’t handle it well. Then he remembers.

“There was someone”

“I thought you said you didn’t have anyone”

“They didn’t know. They found me once and helped me out,” Kakashi stares at the sky, “that was the only time we met back then and I’m sure they don’t even remember it. But I never forgot it. I made a promise that I would do everything I could to protect this person’s smile, even if they never knew it and I held onto that memory even in the darkest moments of my life,” Kakashi turns on his heel and looks at the too-small form sitting on the bench. “I could lie and say it gets better. But you’re smart so I won’t disrespect you by lying to you. Because it never does. But it does get easier”

Sasuke doesn’t say anything further. Kakashi can’t say anything further.

He lays in bed that night turning the interaction over in his head.  He’s not sure if he made any progress or not. 

He doesn’t know how Iruka does it and he doesn’t get better at it either. 

He encounters Sasuke three more times after that. Sometimes they just sit in silence, sometimes Kakashi embarrasses himself by trying to use his underdeveloped conversational skills to get the kid to talk to him.

Usually Sasuke is the one to leave first.

Kakashi also spends more time at Iruka’s apartment than his own. He started bringing groceries over because Iruka feeds him and because he’s raising a kid on an assistant teacher and mission desk worker salary. Years of high-ranking, high-paying missions and living in the jonin barracks have left Kakashi with a ridiculous amount of his own money without even taking into account his family money. He may not be better with handling Sasuke, but he’s gotten used to Naruto’s friends who pop up periodically. Sometimes just one or two, sometimes all of them. Kakashi is no longer as tense around them as he was the first time now that he knows their personalities.

Kiba can talk his ear off about ninken for hours, which he doesn’t mind. Fortunately he never seems to care that Kakashi doesn’t really talk aside from answering a couple questions lobbed his way in the volley of words that leaves his mouth. Kakashi doesn’t mind being talked at, as long as he’s not expected to carry a conversation.

He likes Shikamaru the best. Shikaku’s son is disinterested and not one for conversation or asking nosy questions. While Naruto, Iruka and sometimes Kiba make all the noise, Kakashi retreats to the living room or the garden to sit and read with a dozing Shikamaru. Sometimes Shikamaru will make lackadaisical observations about clouds or the weather, but that’s usually the extent of his willingness to put energy into talking.

Choji doesn’t seem much interested in anything other than food usually, but he’s the most prone to dropping a personal question here or there and they usually come as a surprise, leaving Kakashi flailing for an excuse to not answer or coming up with an increasingly rambling and bizarre answer that has Choji stumped. When that fails, he just hands him whatever snack he’s started carrying.

It’s a strange existence he’s found himself falling into. A solitary person by nature, he finds the social interactions to be a little taxing. Iruka, unsurprisingly, seems to know when Kakashi is feeling a little overwhelmed and regularly redirects conversations away from him, allowing him to fade into the background and simply listen.

He’s on his way over to Iruka’s yet again. He thinks Kiba will be there, based on what Iruka had mentioned.

Iruka ambushes him outside.

“Fair warning,” he says, “Anko is here. I didn’t tell her you were coming so if you want to leave, you can”

Kakashi hesitates. He’s grateful that Iruka is giving him the option to not associate with people if he doesn’t want to, but Anko is Iruka’s best friend. He might as well try to get used to her too.

“I’ll stay,” Kakashi says, and it’s worth it to see Iruka’s face light up. 

He follows Iruka inside. He hears Anko and Naruto before he sees either of them 

Anko is loud. Iruka gets loud too. Kakashi watches in amusement.

For all her abrasiveness, Anko is surprisingly respectful of Kakashi’s privacy. While Anko and Iruka argue, loudly, over the dangers of eating dango and ramen for every meal, Kakashi gets to sit back and watch.

“You’ll get fat,” Iruka snipes.

“And you’ll die of a heart attack,” Anko fires back. “At least I’ll be fat and happy”

“And I’ll die happy”

“But you’ll be dead”

“You’re gonna be an old hag who’s stealth levels drop because you won’t be able to walk quietly”

“Take that back!”

“Too much dango is just as bad for your heart as ramen is. So it’s a double risk for you”

“You can get fat from ramen too”

“Not as easily as dango. Dango is all sugar”

“Ramen has no nutritional value”

“And dango does?”

Their conversation ends with a knock on the door and three small humans are filling Iruka’s apartment. Anko looks a little freaked out.

“You know I’m terrible with kids”

“You’ll live,” Iruka says dryly. Kakashi notes his reaction to Anko’s admission is different than his reaction to Kakashi’s.

“You know it’s not me I’m worried about,” Anko says. “Or are you forgetting the time Matcha found her way into Kiba’s pocket?” Kakashi blinks.

“Hey, at least it wasn’t Choji,” Iruka says dismissively, “he’d probably eat her” 

Anko doesn’t look impressed.

They end up in the living room clustered around some kind of game that Kakashi doesn’t know. He had opted to sit out and watch instead, saying he’d play the next round after learning how it goes, but the truth is he’s a little overwhelmed by the sheer chaos of this group. Iruka and Naruto are fine, even with Kiba thrown into the mix. He had even done well with Anko around.

But Iruka, Naruto, Kiba and Anko are just too much collectively. And being crammed into Iruka’s small living room is making things worse. He’s a little claustrophobic and there’s not really anywhere for him to escape to regroup.

He’d probably be able to handle it better if he hadn’t been woken up by a nightmare the previous night. He can’t even remember what it was about, but it had unsettled him enough to make it impossible to go back to sleep.

Kiba screeches and Naruto launches across his lap. Iruka moves to separate them and Anko cackles abrasively. Shikamaru sighs. The smell of Choji’s chips makes his stomach churn.

Everything is grating on Kakashi’s already frayed nerves, setting him on edge. There’s too much uncontrolled chaos and the loudness of Anko, Kiba, Naruto and Iruka combined is not good for his overly sensitive hearing and he can feel a dull headache building.

Too much sensory stimulation.

“I have to go,” Kakashi says, “I forgot there was something I had to do”

Iruka blinks, clearly concerned. “Oh right, you did say that you could only drop by for a bit,” he smiles, “I’ll walk you out”

“Aww,” Naruto pouts, “already Kaka-nii?”

“Sorry”

“Kakashi-san has something else he has to do tonight,” Iruka ruffles Naruto’s hair. “Now you may want to take your turn because Anko is about to cheat”

Kakashi barely manages to hold back the flinch at Naruto’s squawk.

He exhales in relief when he’s outside the house in the quiet peacefulness of the garden, Iruka a calm presence by his side. A contrast to his chaos just a few minutes ago.

“You alright?”

Kakashi shrugs. “A lot of people in there”

“Sorry, I wasn’t expecting Anko to be here”

“It’s not your fault, it’s your house and your friends,” Kakashi says, “I didn’t get a lot of sleep last night and my hearing is pretty sensitive so it’s probably worse than it would be normally. The two of you are…interesting though”

Iruka snorts. “We’ve been friends far too long,” he says fondly, “thank you”

“For?”

“Trying to stay. Even though you were uncomfortable”

Kakashi is grateful the mask hides his blush. “Oh”

“Have a good night, Kakashi-san”

“You too. Have fun”

“If Anko and Naruto don’t kill each other, I’ll consider it a successful night,” Iruka laughs. Kakashi smiles. “And next time you need to escape, if you don’t want to leave, you can go into my room,” Iruka’s smile is sweet and Kakashi can’t help returning it even if Iruka can’t see it.

How can he possibly be this kind?

“Thank you,” Kakashi says quietly.

He decides to take a walk to clear his senses. He passes by the benches and sure enough, Sasuke is sitting there.

He fights a brief but bloody war with himself before making his decision.

He drops down on his usual bench, hands in his pockets. Sasuke gives him a questioning look.

“You seem tired”

“Didn’t sleep well”

Sasuke falls silent. “Do you have nightmares?”

“Doesn’t everyone?”

“I see them,” Sasuke says abruptly. Kakashi turns to look at him, he’s glaring so hard at the ground his eyes are slits, “I hate going to sleep sometimes because I see my parents”

Kakashi sighs again, tilting his head back to look at the stars.

“I don’t remember what mine was about,” he admits. 

“How do you handle them?”

“It doesn’t always work,” Kakashi says, “but there’s a song from when I was younger that someone very important sang to me. Sometimes thinking about it helps”

“Song?”

“I’m a horrible singer”

Sasuke snorts. 

“And when that doesn’t help?”

“I read. Go for a walk. Sometimes I go train”

Sasuke nods. 

“Does it gets easier?”

“Hm?”

“Being alone”

Kakashi feels his lungs constrict as he remembers this kid is only seven years old. Seven and he’s already resigned himself to being alone. 

“You won’t be”

“What?”

“You won’t always be alone. You’ll make friends. Fall in love. I know it may seem like an endless stretch of loneliness right now, but it doesn’t stay like that forever”

“How do you know?” Sasuke glowers, but Kakashi can hear the undercurrent of hope in his voice.

“Because I once thought the same thing. But the hole in your heart is something other people can fill if you let them”

“What if no one wants to?” Sasuke asks quietly.

“I’m here talking to you, aren’t I?”

Sasuke falls silent, mulling over Kakashi’s words.

“Have a good night, kiddo,” Kakashi says, getting to his feet. Too much emotional vulnerability for one day. 

“Not likely”

Kakashi sighs to himself. He doesn’t know how to handle this kid. It’s hard to believe that he’s only seven. He stares at the sky. Was he like this when he was seven? Probably. 

Maybe that’s why he doesn’t know how to talk to Sasuke. He knows he’s not the most well-adjusted person, he’s probably the last person who is qualified to give advice on healthy coping mechanisms after a trauma.

Yet seeing Sasuke’s small, lonely frame makes Kakashi want to help him despite his many other failures in life. 

He wonders how to get Iruka to meet Sasuke. Iruka would know what to do. Kakashi scrubs a hand across his face and consciously empties his mind as he continues his walk.

Chapter Text

“-needs to eat vegetables,” Iruka says, rushing around, “and please, for the love of the sages, do not let him eat chocolate covered pretzel sticks unless you want to deal with his gas. Make sure he actually showers once a day. Kiba convinced him that he doesn’t need to shower regularly because he’s washing all the protective bacteria off of his skin, but if he doesn’t shower everyday he begins to smell like old socks. Wednesdays is Ichiraku’s, he’ll probably want to keep that tradition. If something goes wrong, call Anko or Ibiki. Tsume if needed-”

“Iruka,” Kakashi steps in front of him, catching him by the shoulders and looking him in the eyes. “Breathe. You’ve written it all down,” he holds up the binder, “and have been telling me all week. It’s five days, we’ll be fine and Sandaime knows I’m off the mission roster this week”

“I know, Kakashi-san,” Iruka exhales, slumping in his hold, “it’s just, I’m worried. This is the longest I’ll be away from him and he’s so…” 

“It’ll be fine,” Kakashi says. 

“Maybe I should tell them I’ll do it next year,” Iruka begins to fret again. Kakashi shakes him lightly.

“No, you’re going to go. You’re going to not worry about Naruto. And you’re going to pass the exams, alright?”

Iruka exhales and nods. 

“Naruto and I will have a fun time here”

“I trust you Kakashi-san,” Iruka exhales. Kakashi warms at Iruka’s praise.

“Do you really have to go?” Naruto asks, blue eyes wide and watery from where he’s watching Iruka rush around.

“I’m sorry,” Iruka hugs him, “I won’t be gone very long”

“Do you promise?” Naruto clings to him.

“Promise promise,” Iruka crouches down and holds out his pinky. Naruto’s own small one wraps around Iruka’s. “Be good for Kakashi-san, alright?” Naruto nods, “I will come back, Naruto,” Iruka ruffles the blonde hair, “I’m not leaving you. It’s like when I go on missions and you stay with Anko-neechan”

“Why not this time?” Naruto asks.

“Because I’m going to be gone a little bit longer than usual and Anko-neechan is on her own mission. Besides, wouldn’t you rather sleep here?”

“I guess,” Naruto mumbles. “How long will you be gone?”

“Five days,” Iruka holds out five fingers. Naruto nods, looking dejected. “But I’ll be back”

He shoulders his pack and slips on his shoes. Kakashi follows him out the door.

“Be safe,” Kakashi murmurs. Iruka nods.

“I doubt we’ll run into any trouble,” he says, “but I will,” he casts a glance to the door, “maybe I should-”

“Iruka. Go.” Kakashi nudges him away, “you’ll be back before you know it. Just focus on the exams and don’t worry about Naruto. We’ll have fun”

Iruka exhales before nodding. 

“Thank you, Kakashi-san,” Iruka smiles gratefully, “for making it easy to trust you with this”

“I’ll keep him safe”

Iruka hesitates for a brief moment before Kakashi is barely catching him as his arms wrap around his neck.

“I know you will,” Iruka murmurs, squeezing Kakashi once before letting go, cheeks flushed red. Kakashi suspects his aren’t much better and is grateful for the mask. “I’ll see you in a few days,” he says, turning away. 

Kakashi watches him leave before entering the house again. Naruto is sitting morosely on the couch, staring at his feet.

“Hey,” Kakashi says, dropping a hand on Naruto’s head, “he’ll be back before you know it”

Naruto nods and Kakashi exhales, steeling himself for the next five days and whatever may come next.

The first day goes surprisingly well. Naruto is a lot quieter in the house than he is outside. Kakashi chalks it up to missing Iruka. He summons his ninken and watches as Naruto chases them around in the park. 

The second day everything goes to hell. Naruto had woken up in a bad mood, clearly tired and cranky and Kakashi has already headed off two temper tantrums.

Unfortunately, he’s not so lucky the third time. He’s not even sure what set Naruto off as they were walking home from the store, but Kakashi is left to contend with a crying kid and absolutely no idea what to do.

“Please, stop crying,” Kakashi rubs at his temples. “Please”

“I want Ruka-nii!” Naruto wails before running off.

Kakashi curses and chases after him, but Naruto is a slippery little shit and Kakashi loses sight of him in an alleyway.

He already lost the kid. 

How the fuck. 

Iruka is going to kill him.

He summons Pakkun.

“Brat, what is it?” 

“I can’t find Naruto!”

“It’s been two days Kakashi, and you’ve already lost him?”

“Please, Pakkun”

Pakkun sighs and begins to sniff.

“This way,” he takes off and Kakashi follows, grateful Pakkun’s sense of smell is so good. He follows him to the park and hears voices.

“You’re so loud, dobe”

Why is that voice familiar? Kakashi slows down and masks his presence. 

“USURATONKACHI! Take that back!”

“You really think you’re gonna be Hokage?”

Oh? Naruto had somehow met Sasuke. Interesting.

“I know I’m gonna be Hokage!”

“The Hokage knows a ton of jutsus. Do you even know one?” 

“Ruka-niisan says I’ll learn them when I start the Academy next year!”

“I’ve been learning since I was three. Dobe”

Kakashi sighs and decides to make himself known as Naruto screeches.

“Yo!”

“KAKA-NII! Tell this usuratonkachi that I’ll be the best ninja ever!”

“Will you work hard in the Academy?” Kakashi raises an eyebrow.

“You betcha!”

Sasuke glares at him. A two.

“Sasuke-kun,” Kakashi waves, “I see you’ve met Naruto-kun”

“He’s loud and annoying,” Sasuke crosses his arms and looks away. 

“AND YOU’RE BORING AND STUPID!”

“Maa, Naruto,” Kakashi pretends to dig in his ear with his pinky, “volume control”

“Sorry, Kaka-nii”

“You guys want to learn to be shinobi?” Kakashi slides his hands into his pockets. A line from Iruka’s textbook dances across his brain physical activity can burn off adrenaline and release mood-enhancing endorphins. “Then how about sparring against each other?”

“Yes!” Naruto pumps his fist, “I beat Kiba last time!”

“Fine,” Sasuke sounds bored but there’s a glint in his eyes.

“Actually,” Kakashi grins, “what about two versus one?” 

The kids blink at him. One brighter than the day and one darker than the night. 

“You two have to fight me”

“But you’re a jonin,” Sasuke says.

“What? Too scared to fight Kaka-nii?” Naruto challenges. Sasuke’s eyes narrow.

“I never said that!”

“Then we’ll fight Kaka-nii!”

Kakashi is glad the park is empty at this hour as he stands lazily in the field.

“Taijutsu only,” he warns, “I don’t know what ninjutsu you know, Sasuke, but I’m not dealing with it”

“Tch”

“Scared usuratonkachi?” Naruto goads.

“I bet I’m better in taijutsu than you are”

“BRING IT ON”

He summons a bell.

“First to get the bell is the winner,” Kakashi says, looping it onto his belt. “And go”

Kakashi steps back as Naruto clumsily flails at him. Sasuke’s strike is a little bit more precise, but equally unskilled. Kakashi gives a small hop to avoid it, flicking Sasuke in the forehead before casually pushing Naruto to the ground when he turns his back. 

The failures only seem to spur them on because they attack Kakashi with all determination and no skill. He leans back and the pair collide with each other, flips Sasuke over and sticks out a foot to trip Naruto.

Sasuke’s skills are a bit more refined than Naruto’s. Naruto fights like a scrappy street brawler and his punching form is dismal. 

Kakashi wonders if Iruka has taught him anything or not. The kid is supposed to start the Academy in a year. If his skills stay where they’re at he’s going to be at an even bigger disadvantage than he already is, especially considering his class will have almost all the clan kids.

Their fight takes them around the entire park and Kakashi is jumping around on the play structure, lounging against some kind of metal pole before rolling away when Sasuke takes a page out of Naruto’s book and tries to land a groin shot.

“Maa, that was fun,” Kakashi lands lightly on the ground, sliding the child psychology textbook into his weapons pouch. 

Sasuke and Naruto lay panting heavily on the ground; sweaty and covered in dirt.

“Ugh,” Sasuke groans. “I hate you”

“You almost landed a hit though,” Kakashi leans against the play structure, “maybe next time it’ll make contact”

“Next time?” Sasuke glares, but he’s too tired to reach above a one as he clambers to his knees.

“Tomorrow night, same time,” Kakashi picks Naruto up by the back of his jacket, holding him under his arm like a sack of potatoes, Naruto huffs tiredly. “You want to get stronger right?”

Sasuke looks away.

“Want me to take you home?” Kakashi asks and Sasuke shakes his head. “Where is home for you anyway?”

“Where else?” Sasuke grouses. “The compound”

“The Uchiha compound?” Kakashi asks in horror, “you’re still living there?” he remembers living at the Hatake Estate until he became jonin and then he got the hell out of there and into the jonin dorms as soon as he could. He felt a lot better being away from the memories, and he was at least able to avoid where his father killed himself. The Uchiha compound was a massacre site. Kakashi had been there. Not one room was spared a dead body.

“Where else am I gonna go?” the kid glares a three, but the edges are haunted.

“With me,” Kakashi hoists Sasuke under his other arm. The kid tries to protest, but is too tired. “You and Naruto are having a sleepover”

“Sleepovers are for babies,” but he makes no move to pull away. Maybe he doesn’t have the energy, but Kakashi wouldn’t be surprised if it’s because he really doesn’t want to go back to the site of his family’s massacre.

“I had a sleepover as a chunin,” Kakashi says, “I was eight”

“You were a chunin at eight?” Sasuke looks up, awkwardly craning his neck.

“No, I was a chunin at six,” Kakashi says cheerfully. He doesn’t think Iruka will be bothered if he lets Sasuke stay over.

Sasuke is silent after that. Clearly too tired to continue a conversation. Kakashi makes his way down the street with one kid under each arm. For a moment he wonders how suspicious he looks but brushes it off.

He unceremoniously dumps them in Iruka’s living room before looking around. He rummages through his bag and pulls out a black t-shirt.

“Do you know how to shower?” Kakashi asks. Sasuke gives him a look like he’s an idiot. “Right. Go shower. You can either borrow Naruto’s pajamas or you can borrow my shirt,” Kakashi says.

Sasuke stares at the bright green frog-patterned pajamas Naruto is holding before his small hands curl in the fabric of Kakashi’s shirt.

“Why is usuratonkachi staying?” Naruto whines, fortunately Sasuke is in the bathroom.

“Because his home is scary. Do you want him to sleep in a scary home?”

Naruto looks conflicted, but apparently he’s taken on Iruka’s compassionate streak.

“Nobody should sleep in a scary home,” Naruto says quietly, “where are his parents?”

“He doesn’t have any”

Blue eyes widen, glancing at the bathroom door with something like sympathy. 

“Ruka-nii has another futon…” Naruto says reluctantly, pointing to a closet.

Once both kids are bathed and changed, Kakashi thinks Sasuke looks absolutely adorable completely swamped in his t-shirt, Kakashi bundles them into Iruka’s room where he set up the two futons.

“I’m gonna be on the couch if you need anything,” he flashes a peace sign before retreating to the living room. 

Did he just kidnap the Uchiha kid off the street and bring him to Iruka’s house while Iruka was gone? 

Yes, yes he did.

He tosses all their clothes in the washer and reads while he waits. Eventually the clothes are done and he shucks his vest off and flops onto the couch, not even bothering to change out of his blacks.

Kakashi is startled awake by a scream. He grabs a kunai and rushes down the hall, Sharingan spinning.

Sasuke is sitting up in his futon, eyes wide and faraway, not even completely awake. He looks at Kakashi, looks at the Sharingan and bursts into tears.

Naruto begins crying too, clearly upset that Sasuke is upset. Kakashi is panicking. What the hell is he supposed to do? He’s never been around anyone with nightmares, much less a kid. He doesn’t even know how to handle his own.

He acts on instinct and gathers both both of the boys against him, holding them close. He doesn’t know how to handle this. What would Iruka do?

He begins to hum the lullaby. Naruto immediately settles. Sasuke’s small frame is still trembling. Kakashi hesitantly rubs his hand in circles against the thin shoulders. It takes a few minutes, but eventually Sasuke settles into sleep again.

Kakashi lets out a breath he didn’t even know he was holding, feeling the adrenaline seep from his veins. He feels like he’s just run an ANBU level mission. He leans against the wall and closes his eyes, arms wrapped around the two kids curled in his lap. He only half-dozes, on alert for the slightest shift in anything to indicate that either boy is waking up.

This is so much worse than he thought.

Chapter Text

The rest of the week passes in a similar fashion. During the day, Naruto and Sasuke bicker and tumble around in the garden. Naruto’s friends meet him and Kakashi grows actual grey hairs.

Shikamaru is pretty unaffected by the entire situation. Him and Sasuke exchange similarly flat glances before Shikamaru settles on a patch of grass and falls asleep.

Kakashi has realized Choji is equally easygoing. A happy medium between Shikamaru’s absolute disinterest and Naruto’s noisy friendliness. Surprisingly, Sasuke seems to warm up to him the most and Choji immediately takes a liking to him after Sasuke hands him a candy bar that Kakashi had given him in a bribery attempt, saying he hates sweet things.

Kiba and Sasuke clash almost immediately and Kakashi finds himself having to regularly separate the two of them. Kiba takes offense at Sasuke’s absolute disinterest in him and does everything in his power to provoke him into a reaction.

At one point he tied them both up and left them hanging from separate tree branches until they wore themselves out trying to escape.

He thinks that getting Sasuke to make friends is going to be a long-term project.

By the end of each day he’s completely exhausted. He has no idea how Iruka handles it. 

The routine is actually really nice though and Kakashi thinks about the child psychology textbook, specifically the emphasis on a stable routine, and wonders if it applies to traumatized adults too. He’s not sure why his nerves constantly feel like they’ve been electrified though.

During the day his brats do a good job of occupying themselves by bickering and terrorizing the general shinobi population. Sometimes with one of the other four brats and sometimes just the two of them. 

Kakashi narrowly missed having to pay for property damage only once, which he considers pretty successful all things considered. He would have paid except for the fact that it started when a shopkeeper had been hostile towards Naruto and Sasuke had let loose a rather spectacular but uncontrolled katon in his defense. 

He had bought them both ice cream after that and started sending a ninken along with them and eventually the villagers got the message that Naruto, and Sasuke although his situation is different, are under the protection of the Copy Ninja and Kakashi feels like his fearsome reputation is doing something good for once.

Kakashi makes Naruto and Sasuke spar in the evening, either against each other or him, correcting them on their forms and giving them pointers. Then he drags them both back to Iruka’s apartment and makes them shower and get changed while he figures out what to feed them before sending them off to bed and doing laundry. Sometimes he fields nightmares and sometimes it’s fine.

Tonight though, he knows Iruka is coming back.

“I’m home!”

Or. Is back. He looks up from where he’s filling a glass with water.

“Ruka-nii!” Naruto screeches, barreling through the small house.

“Hey, little monkey,” Iruka laughs. “I’ve missed you”

“Ruka-nii! Come say hi to usuratonkachi!”

“Usuratonkachi?” Iruka’s inquisitive voice and Kakashi tries not to visibly tense when Iruka enters the kitchen. “Oh,” Iruka’s gaze lands on the small boy, who looks very uncomfortable. “Hello, Sasuke-kun,” Iruka says with a warm, gentle smile, “I’m Iruka”

“Hi,” he grumbles.

“Usuratonkachi! Be nicer to Ruka-nii!” 

“It’s alright Naruto,” Iruka laughs, ruffling his hair, “not everyone is as enthusiastic as you are. Some people prefer not to talk very much”

Sasuke’s posture seems to relax a bit as Iruka sets his bag on the counter, acting like everything is normal.

“Kakashi-san? A moment?” Iruka’s voice is light and cheerful. Sasuke tenses up again, looking both apprehensive and a little worried.

Kakashi follows Iruka into the bedroom and closes the door. Wide brown eyes turn to look at him.

“That’s-”

“Yeah,” Kakashi scratches the back of his head, wondering if he had made a mistake and now Iruka was going to be mad at him, “look, I’m really sorry, I didn’t think you’d be upset if-”

“Breathe, Kakashi,” Iruka says, pressing his hands against Kakashi’s shoulders, “slow down and start from the beginning”

Kakashi exhales, hands shaking. He hadn’t even realized how on edge he’s been this entire week until now, faced with Iruka’s large brown eyes and comforting energy.

“Okay, hey,” Iruka steers him to the bed and sits him down. “Kakashi, what’s wrong?”

“He’s so messed up, Iruka,” Kakashi says with a faraway stare, “he’s-you know he’s still living in the compound?”

Iruka hisses in a breath. “The Uchiha compound? What the hell?”

“He’s…his nightmares. He has such horrible nightmares that-” Kakashi exhales shakily, “I don’t know how to help him”

“Hey, it’s okay,” Iruka wraps his arms around Kakashi’s shoulders and Kakashi collapses against him like a puppet with his strings cut. He clings to Iruka, desperately trying to find some sense of calm. The hand running through his hair soothes some of the tension from his shoulders. “We’ll figure it out”

“My father killed himself in our home when I was seven,” Kakashi says in a rush before he loses the nerve, Iruka’s arms tighten around him.

“Oh, Kakashi-”

“I lived there for five years, before I became jonin”

“Before-Kakashi, how old did you become a jonin?”

“Twelve”

Kakashi can’t identify what kind of sound Iruka makes but his arms tighten around him.

“I can’t help it,” Kakashi whispers, “I want to help him but…”

“But it’s too similar,” Iruka sighs, hand continuing to stroke through his hair. “It’s okay. I’ll help you”

Kakashi lets out a shuddering breath and holds tighter.

“Sorry,” Kakashi mumbles.

“Why are you sorry?”

“I screwed up”

“What do you mean?”

“I was supposed to have everything under control and I made a mess of it”

“Naruto is not dead, dying, lost or injured, he’s his normal boisterous self,” Iruka shrugs, “I think you did just fine. And you got through to Sasuke”

“Sort of,” Kakashi mumbles. “Don’t be mad?”

“Mad?”

“I…may be teaching them to fight. Each other. And me. The child psychology textbook said physical activity was good and they both want to be shinobi and get stronger and-”

Iruka squeezes him once, cutting off his anxious babble. “Do I love the idea? At first blush, not really. But I trust you. Naruto already fights Kiba, he might as well learn to do it properly. He’s going to start the Academy next year, after all. Just don’t teach them anything too advanced”

Kakashi didn’t realize how much of his stress was tied up in Iruka’s response to the training sessions until all the remaining tension leaves his body feeling like he just fought five missing-nin alone. 

“You did well, Kakashi,” Iruka says warmly, “thank you”

Kakashi barely resists the shudder at the praise. He can’t remember the last time anyone praised him for being good at anything that didn’t involve killing.

“I’m going to go out and make some tea,” Iruka tells him, carefully letting Kakashi go. Kakashi wants nothing more than to crush Iruka to his chest and cling to him longer. “Stay in here as long as you need to”

Kakashi nods. 

Iruka squeezes his shoulders one more time, looking like he wants to say something else, but he stands and leaves the room.

Kakashi tugs down his mask and buries his face in Iruka’s pillow. The familiar green tea and ink scent is joined by something faintly lemony and he breathes in deeply, allowing the scent to comfort him.

He hears Iruka’s mellow voice and Naruto’s excited babble.

After several minutes he gathers himself enough to emerge from the bedroom. 

Sasuke relaxes almost imperceptibly at his presence. Naruto is clinging to Iruka as he moves about the kitchen. Sasuke watches the scene with poorly concealed interest. 

“Maa, so how was the trip?” Kakashi slouches into a chair.

“Long,” Iruka laughs and Kakashi is relieved Iruka is acting like everything is normal and not like he had just witnessed the closest Kakashi has ever come to a breakdown or that there’s a severely traumatized and prickly seven year old addition to the table. He has no idea how Iruka does it, “and then Fuyuno-san started singing and I was pretty sure Mizu-kun was gonna kill him before we were even halfway there”

Kakashi notes the usage of ‘Mizu-kun’ distastefully. He must have reacted because Sasuke glances at him curiously.

“How did you do on the exams?” Kakashi asks.

“Um, I don’t know,” Iruka scratches his scar, “they don’t tell us individual scores. So the next part of the exam is the practical exam, that will be held here in three days. And then next week we find out who passed or not,” he turns to his cabinet, “Sasuke-kun, what kind of tea do you like? I have green, chamomile, chai, cinnamon, black and oolong”

Sasuke glances at Kakashi before glancing back at Iruka.

“Oolong”

Iruka’s non-reaction and subsequent inclusion seems to ease more of the tension from Sasuke’s tiny shoulders and Kakashi wonders if Sasuke thought he was going to be kicked out.

It makes him sad.

“I’ll take oolong too,” Kakashi says casually. 

“Oolong it is,” Iruka says cheerfully. “This is a special blend too. Sandaime gave it to me for my birthday last year”

“The Hokage gave you a birthday present?” Sasuke asks.

“Ruka-niisan and the Old Man are close!” Naruto blurts out, “he’s like a grandpa”

Sasuke blinks at that.

“Yes,” Iruka laughs, “Naruto, call him respectfully!” 

“He doesn’t mind when I call him Old Man!” 

“Yes, well, I do”

Kakashi tries not to laugh at the fact that he remembers a teenage Iruka calling Sandaime ‘Old Man’ on multiple occasions.

“I lost both my parents when I was a little older than you both,” Iruka says, chin in his hand, “I was angry and alone and hurting. Sandaime saw that and comforted me. He was indeed like a grandfather to me. I never knew my own, my mother’s parents died in Uzushiogakure and my father was an orphan like me. Without Sandaime…” Iruka trails, “I would probably be in a much worse place than I am”

Kakashi marvels at the fact that it’s so damn easy for Iruka to talk about his trauma, his past. How does he do it?

Sasuke is mulling over Iruka’s words.

“Sandaime taught me how to make tea,” Iruka laughs, passing out mugs, “he is very particular about how it’s done. He said, even if you learn nothing else from these meetings, you will learn how to make tea”

“What else did you learn?” Sasuke narrows his eyes.

“How to play shogi and win. And that Sandaime hates narazuke”

Sasuke was obviously expecting some kind of cool jutsu or state secret because he looks disappointed. Kakashi suspects Iruka is being intentionally vague but he can’t be sure.

Kakashi wonders what Sasuke would think if he knew of Iruka’s sordid prankster past. Some of his traps were clever as hell. 

“Ruka-niisan, we haven’t had dinner yet,” Naruto says, “can we go for ramen?” Iruka blinks. 

“Do Sasuke-kun and Kakashi-san want ramen?” Iruka asks them. Kakashi feels warm at being included, even warmer at Sasuke’s inclusion. He’s oddly attached to the boy.

But he shouldn’t be surprised. Iruka is just that way.

“Sure,” Kakashi says easily, “I could go for Ichiraku’s”

Sasuke hesitates before nodding once, two spots of pink high on his cheeks. Kakashi catches him turning away to hide the beginnings of a small smile tugging at the corners of his lips and inwardly cheers.

“Great!” Iruka grins, almost drowned out by Naruto’s cheering. “I’m ready to go”

Kakashi sighs in relief as Naruto and Sasuke bicker normally on the way.

Iruka’s warm hand lands on his shoulder and squeezes gently.

“Better?” Iruka asks quietly.

“Better,” Kakashi confirms.

“We’re going to have to figure out sleeping arrangements,” Iruka muses.

“Hm?”

“I’m not allowing Sasuke to go back to the Uchiha compound,” Iruka says, glaring fiercely, “and he’s clearly more comfortable with you around, so I was hoping you’d be willing to stay. At least for a couple more days, until he’s comfortable. Because taking him back to the jonin dorms is not viable”

“No, it’s not,” Kakashi says quietly even though he had sort of expected to have to do that. “You’ll really let him stay with you?”

“There’s no other option, because staying at the Uchiha compound is definitely not,” Iruka says firmly. Kakashi is so, so grateful that Iruka is like this. “Mizu-kun once accused me of taking in strays,” Iruka says ruefully. Kakashi remembers that conversation. “I suppose he was right”

“Except he said it like it was a bad thing,” Kakashi says. Iruka looks at him. “But it’s one of the things-” I love about you, Kakashi stops himself before he says it, “that make you a strong person”

Iruka blushes and looks away. 

“Hello Teuchi-san!” Iruka calls. 

“Oh, hello Iruka! Naruto! Kakashi!” Teuchi blinks, “you brought someone new”

Kakashi feels a sense of deja vu.

“This is Sasuke,” Iruka says.

“Ah, another newbie,” Teuchi chuckles, Sasuke glances at Kakashi and Iruka, “looks like he’s getting the special ramen tonight!”

“I want the special ramen too!” Naruto shouts. Iruka bops him on the head and he pouts. “Fine,” he sighs, “but I want extra pork”

Kakashi and Sasuke sit in silence, allowing their much louder and chattier companions to keep the conversation going between them and Teuchi. Kakashi finds it somewhat entertaining. If he and Iruka were a couple and Sasuke and Naruto were their kids, Sasuke would take after him and Naruto would take after Iruka.

As the conversation flows around the kid, occasionally looping both him and Kakashi into it, Kakashi can see the remaining tension leave Sasuke’s frame.

With Teuchi distracting Naruto, Iruka gently asks Sasuke questions about training, what he likes to do, what his favorite foods are. 

Sasuke answers somewhat reluctantly. Training is going good. He admits he likes to take walks, which is something Kakashi didn’t know. And that his favorite foods are tomatoes and onigiri and that he hates natto and isn’t a fan of sweets.

Kakashi tries not to laugh. He doesn’t like sweets either. He sneakily pays for their ramen, delighting in Iruka’s exasperated expression.

“Kakashi-san and I need to have a conversation,” Iruka says to the boys and Sasuke tenses immediately, “Sasuke-kun, you’re staying over. Do you need anything from your place?”

Sasuke shrugs, looking reluctant again but the tension dissipates as quickly as it had arrived. Kakashi realizes he hadn’t even thought to ask what Sasuke might need. 

“…maybe some clothes”

“Naruto, go with Sasuke-kun to get his clothes and whatever else he needs, then both of you go straight back home, alright?”

“Alright,” Naruto pouts. Kakashi bites his thumb and summons Pakkun.

“Pakkun, this is Sasuke. They’re going to go pick up some stuff from his house and go to Iruka’s. Stick with them and make sure there’s no detours, alright?”

Pakkun looks at Kakashi curiously but shrugs.

“Alright,” he trots off, “let’s go, pups”

“Kaka-nii has eight of them, teme, eight…” Kakashi listens to Naruto telling Sasuke about his ninken.

Iruka watches the two boys and the dog leave before sighing.

“You’re much better at this than I am,” Kakashi sighs, “you got him to smile. And I didn’t even think Sasuke would need new clothes? I’ve just been giving him mine to sleep in and washing his” 

Iruka’s expression is fond. “You’re doing better than you think you are,” he shakes his head and stares at the sky. “It’s been a week, Kakashi-san,” Iruka laughs. “Come on”

“Where are we going?” Kakashi falls in step with Iruka.

“I need a drink. Or three,” Iruka sighs.

“Because of Sasuke?”

“Oh, no,” Iruka shakes his head, “it’s just been a rough week and I need to clear my head” 

“Maa, anything I can help with?”

“Maybe,” Iruka sighs, “but I need a drink first”

Kakashi follows Iruka down the street, studying him.

How does he take everything so easily? If Kakashi’s entire routine was disrupted by someone foisting a kid on him, he’d be scrambling to try and recover some sense of normalcy and it would be a disaster.

But here’s Iruka, who easily accepts not just the addition of Kakashi, but the traumatized kid Kakashi dragged into his life.

You really are amazing Kakashi thinks.

Chapter Text

The bar Iruka leads him to is in a quieter part of town. It’s out of the way of most of the popular, regularly frequented bars.

Stepping inside, Kakashi decides he likes the place. Something about the interior muffles the sounds so there’s no loud, dizzying conversation or shouting. The booths are high and somewhat ensconced and there are no windows. 

“Why haven’t I ever heard of this place?”

“It’s actually not very well known,” Iruka scratches his scar, “the owner is-”

“Ruka-chan!” an older man emerges from the bar, “good to see ya, ya little rapscallion!”

“Yukio-sensei,” Iruka laughs. “Yukio-sensei, this is my friend Kakashi. Kakashi, this is my old jonin instructor, Yamamoto Yukio”

“Don’t think Ruka-chan has ever brought anyone here with him ‘cept Biki-chan and Anko-chan”

Iruka blushes.

“Ibiki actually brought me here first,” Iruka explains. “Yukio-sensei was T&I”

“Infiltration and intelligence gathering,” he salutes, “Ruka-chan here could’ve gone on to do great things in intelligence gathering, but he’s decided to do great things with a bunch of snot-nosed brats instead”

He waves them off and wanders behind the bar.

Kakashi looks at Iruka, intrigued. Iruka scratches his scar.

“I, well, I was a bit of a problem child in my youth. But the same set of skills I used to pull pranks and draw attention are perfect for infiltration. Unfortunately, I’d get too attached to some of my marks and if it came down to it, killing them was difficult for me”

“Your teammates, did they go into intelligence?” Kakashi asks curiously.

“Nah, my genin team is all dead,” Iruka sighs, “Kanae was killed shortly after she made chunin and Sosuke,” he scratches his scar, “he was one of Orochimaru’s experiments, actually”

“Ah,” Kakashi can sympathize with being the sole survivor of his genin team.

“But I don’t want to talk about those kinds of depressing things,” he waves a hand like he’s waving off a particularly annoying bug. 

“You wanted to clear your head”

“Drink first, then talk,” Iruka holds up a finger, “I’ll tell you about my hell of a week, you tell me about yours?”

“Maa, I think you heard most of it earlier,” Kakashi rubs the back of his head, embarrassed now by his breakdown. “But sure”

“I want to hear how Naruto and Sasuke are doing during their training sessions”

“Really?”

“I told you, Kakashi-san, it’s a good thing. They’ll be more prepared for the Academy. I was actually going to teach Naruto a few things before he started anyways”

Kakashi feels relieved. Their drinks arrive and Iruka immediately downs one of his two.

“Really rough week, then,” Kakashi laughs. He’s far enough in the booth and they’re up against the back wall, so Kakashi feels comfortable enough to pull down his mask.

Iruka’s gaze tracks across his face and he scrubs his brow.

“How do you tell someone who has been your friend your entire life that you’re sick of their shit and no longer want to be their friend?”

“Mizuki?”

“I don’t know what it is,” Iruka sighs, “he wasn’t always like this. He’s gotten…aggressive. Aggressive and pushy and…I hesitate to say possessive, but that’s what it feels like. He’d get annoyed if I spent time with any of the other assistant teachers, he almost punched Fuyuno-san when he put an arm around my neck. I don’t understand. Why would he care? It’s not like I’m his only friend”

“Is he jealous romantically?” Kakashi asks, feeling his own jealousy welling up.

“We had a fairly casual thing when we were younger, but that was years ago,” Iruka frowns, “he’s engaged to a woman now and they seem happy together”

“Perhaps he just hates losing,” Kakashi shrugs, “if I can’t have you, no one can type of mentality”

“Maybe,” Iruka sighs, “it’s just complicated and frustrating. And it’s not like he’s particularly nice. None of the other assistant teachers could stand him. He’s always making jokes at everyone else’s expense…” Iruka sighs again, “he’s always been…abrasive. But he’s never been malicious like this. And it’s not like I can just tell him to fuck off, or stop spending time with him, because if we both pass the exams we’ll be colleagues”

“You can be colleagues without being friends”

“I suppose,” Iruka taps his chin, “it just feels like there’s too much history between us to make it a truly clean break”

“Perhaps. But you don’t know until you try. And if he’s making you this miserable, maybe you should try sooner rather than later”

“You make a good point,” Iruka scratches his brow. “Honestly, I feel better just talking about it. Like I’m not going crazy”

“If you’ll allow me to be completely honest,” Kakashi says, “I don’t like him. I don’t like the way he talks to you, I don’t like the way he treats you”

Iruka sighs. “Anko says the same thing. Ibiki doesn’t get involved, he says we’re adults who can make our own stupid decisions, but he’d help if I asked. Sandaime has too, not in so many words, but he said I should be more careful in the company I keep. Ko and Zu, Hagane Kotetsu and Kamizuki Izumo, think he’s a jackass”

“Sounds like majority is ruling here,” Kakashi says, “so why are you so hesitant to let go?”

“Because he was my first friend ever,” Iruka sighs. “It’s hard to sever that sort of loyalty. And Tsubaki, his fiancée, is an absolute sweetheart who I also enjoy spending time with”

“So spend less time then”

“I suppose,” Iruka takes a drink. “Oh well, this isn’t gonna solve itself in one night. But, thanks for listening, Kakashi-san”

“Always,” Kakashi smiles. Iruka blushes. 

“How was your week?”

“Aside from being nervous about everything? It went great. Nothing blew up, nobody died, no one got hurt beyond a few bumps and bruises”

“What are you teaching them?”

“Just the basics. Naruto’s punching form is horrible and his stance is all over the place”

“I suppose I have been neglecting that part of him,” Iruka winces, “there’s just a lot more pressing things, like teaching him basic manners, basic hygiene, life skills…” Iruka scratches his scar, “shinobi training sort of fell by the wayside I guess…”

“I’m not blaming you,” Kakashi says gently, “you’ve done far better for him than anyone else ever has. But he is going to be starting the Academy soon. With kids who come from clan backgrounds. I believe Yamanaka Inoichi has a daughter starting, so the Ino-Shika-Cho trio, Sasuke, Hyuga Hiashi regularly blathers all over the jonin ready room about his daughter starting. He’ll already be at a severe disadvantage because he doesn’t have that background and he doesn’t have any bloodline jutsus”

“As it got closer to his starting day, I was going to teach him the basics. What they need to know to graduate the Academy”

“Ah, his advantage is having his very own Academy sensei teaching him,” Kakashi winks. Iruka blushes.

“I’m-I don’t know if I’ll pass!”

“You’ll pass,” Kakashi says. “You’ve worked too hard. And, you’re a natural at it. The way you handle Naruto and his friends? Not many people can do that”

Kakashi certainly can’t. Not with the same grace and ease that Iruka can. 

“You flatter me, Kakashi-san,” Iruka blushes.

“I speak no untruths”

Iruka’s blush darkens and he drinks more of his drink.

“So, slightly more pressing matters,” Iruka sighs.

“The kids?”

“The kids,” Iruka confirms. “Sasuke’s nightmares, tell me about them”

“They happen pretty regularly. He’ll wake up screaming and then it’s hard to get him back to sleep. The first two times it upset Naruto, but then he got used to it and realized there wasn’t any actual danger. Your lullaby helps a lot”

“Oh, you know it?” Iruka blushes.

“How could I forget?” Kakashi smiles.

“I know, it’s a silly little thing but-” Iruka falls silent as Kakashi takes his hand.

“It’s not silly, Iruka, not to me”

“Kakashi-san-?”

Kakashi decides to tell Iruka most of the truth. Or, at least hint at it.

“Did I tell you I became chunin at six?”

“No,” Iruka’s eyes widen, “you-” he trails off. Several emotions flicker across his face. “Chunin-sama?”

Kakashi smiles. He knew Iruka was smart.

“You sang that lullaby that night,” he admits, “I haven’t been able to get it out of my head since”

“Oh,” Iruka’s face is flushed and he’s looking at Kakashi with a soft expression. “My memory is hazy, but…you said…” he trails off, horror twisting his features, “you said your father, when you were seven. How old were you that night?”

“Eight”

“So it had been recent,” Iruka murmurs, lacing their fingers together and squeezing. “I told you that you could share my parents, didn’t I?”

“You did”

“And I made you read that book. What was it?”

“The Brave Little Kunai,” Kakashi says, amused, “I thought it was the most ridiculous thing but it was worth it to see you smile. You had the chubbiest little cheeks”

“Kakashi-san!” Iruka hides his face behind his free hand.

“You also said Mizuki gave you this,” Kakashi traces his scar with a fingertip, “and I remember wondering whether anybody taught him weapons safety”

“I…” Iruka sighs, “I forgot about that. He tried to hit an apple off my head with a shuriken. His father was a shinobi, a jonin who died when he was a toddler, but his mother was a civilian. She died during the attack. We were orphaned the same day”

“I didn’t even know him, but I already didn’t like him”

Iruka laughs softly. “Chunin-sama,” Iruka says with a note of wonderment, “you know I believed I dreamt it all? You were gone when I woke up and I never saw you again” 

“I was scared,” Kakashi admits, “I was scared I would hurt you”

“You would never, Kakashi-san”

“But I could,” Kakashi says urgently, “that’s what’s so scary. That I could hurt you. So many ways. And especially back then. You were just six”

“But you wouldn’t,” Iruka says, “you could probably kill me right now in less than a minute with this,” he holds up his empty glass, “but you wouldn’t. Do you understand the distinction, Kakashi-san?” Kakashi nods but he doesn’t think Iruka understands. “There we go. Now, Sasuke and sleeping arrangements”

“I’ve been sleeping on the couch,” Kakashi says, “giving them, Sasuke especially, privacy”

“Yeah, Naruto’s been sleeping in my room since he was five. The futon is actually fairly new. A few months ago Naruto still wanted to sleep in my bed but he’s a rough sleeper. For awhile I slept on a futon on the floor with him, but he did better after that. Now as long as I’m in the room with him, he’s good”

“I wondered why there were two futons,” Kakashi hums, “at least it made it easy for Sasuke. He doesn’t have to share a futon with Naruto”

Iruka shakes his head. “Sasuke wouldn’t get any sleep”

“Not like he gets much anyway,” Kakashi sighs, enjoying the feeling of Iruka’s hand still in his. He wonders why Iruka hasn’t pulled away.

Iruka scratches his scar thoughtfully.

“We could move everything out of my office. It’s sort of small for an actual bedroom, but they’re sort of small”

“That-Iruka, I don’t want you rearranging your entire life for-”

“It’s fine,” Iruka shakes his head, “if I had known Sasuke was allowed to stay in that place after what happened, I would’ve taken it up with Sandaime immediately”

“He didn’t handle Naruto’s situation well either”

Iruka sighs. “Konoha orphans…it’s a terrible system, really. Usually we’re thrown into orphan housing, two, sometimes three to a shitty apartment and left to fend for ourselves. That’s why me, Anko and Mizuki bonded. Anko’s roommate was horrible so she stayed with us. She became chunin pretty quickly though”

Kakashi rests his chin in his palm as he watches Iruka talk. The younger man seems so much more relaxed than he was earlier. The Mizuki issue must have been weighing on him pretty heavily.

“-kashi-san?”

“I’m sorry,” Kakashi shakes his head, “it’s…been a really long week too”

Iruka’s smile is gentle and understanding. “You’ve done well with Sasuke,” they both watch Iruka poke and trace his thumb around the edges of the metal plate on Kakashi’s glove. “Everything from here on out, we can figure out together,” his smile is charming, “single-parenting is hard, Kakashi-san”

“You’re telling me,” Kakashi drains the rest of his drink. He bites back the urge to ask Iruka to coparent with him. Too many things at once.

Iruka pays for their drinks, in retaliation for Kakashi paying for ramen and Yukio-sensei winks at them as they leave. 

He suspects the older man thinks they’re together and Kakashi isn’t in any hurry to correct him.

The walk back is quiet, but not awkwardly so. It’s companionable and Kakashi is grateful for the chance to collect his thoughts and emotions from where they scattered all over the place.

Naruto and Sasuke are sound asleep when they return. 

Iruka leaves the bedroom door open. Kakashi settles on the comfortable couch. 

Nightmares don’t wake anyone up that night.

Chapter Text

The next day, Iruka and Kakashi drag everything out of Iruka’s small office, putting things in storage scrolls. 

Naruto and Sasuke watch, one trying to hide his confusion behind boredom and one trying to hide his anxiety behind smiles.

Kakashi walks into the walls several times because Iruka is wearing a loose tank top and shorts and his hair is swept into a messy bun on top of his head. Every time he bends over or lifts something, Kakashi loses a braincell.

He suspects Sasuke knows something is up. 

There’s a knock on the door, startling everyone. Iruka closes his eyes.

“Mizuki…” he exhales. 

“Pretend you’re not here”

“Ru! Open up! I know you’re there!”

Iruka raises an eyebrow.

“You were saying?”

“Who’s Mizuki?” Sasuke asks Naruto.

“He’s an asshole”

“Language!” Iruka chides, stepping past some of the mess and opening the door. 

“Wow, what the hell are you wearing?” Mizuki’s abrasive voice echoes loudly through the house.

“Mizuki, what is it?”

“Wanted to see if you wanted to go train for the practical”

“I’m a little busy right now, maybe later”

“What are you doing?”

“Reorganizing”

“You mean you were organized in the first place?” Mizuki’s laugh is grating and Kakashi narrows his eye, “are you finally getting rid of some of your clutter?

“Mizuki,” Iruka sighs, “look, how about tomorrow? That way we can see if Fuyuno-san and Akari-san-”

“I don’t want to spar with them,” Mizuki’s voice contains a hint of a pout. “I’ve just missed you. We used to do everything together, you know? You’re my best friend, Ru”

Kakashi can practically feel Iruka’s weakening resolve and he decides to step in. 

“What do you want done with this?” he shouts, picking up a random shelf.

Iruka seems to snap back to himself and he glances over his shoulder. “Storage scroll is fine!”

“Who is that?” Mizuki’s voice takes on a jealous tone that raises Kakashi’s hackles. “Someone helping you?”

“Yo!” Kakashi pokes his head out of the office with a jaunty wave. Naruto snickers. Even Sasuke looks a little amused.

“Hatake?” Mizuki all but sneers, “you’ve got Hatake Kakashi helping you clean your house? What are you guys, like, together?”

“Mizuki, can you please just drop it?” Iruka pinches the bridge of his nose. “I’ll let you know tomorrow about sparring”

“Whatever!” Mizuki’s snarl is anything but friendly and Naruto is immediately tense, “I never would have guessed you to be the type who abandons your friends when you begin fucking someone new”

Several things happen at once; Kakashi snaps the shelf he’s holding, Naruto’s eyes change very briefly, Sasuke’s eyes widen, and Iruka yells.

“That is completely inappropriate, Mizuki! There are children in this house and your language leaves a lot to be desired!”

“Oh right, I forgot, Iruka-kun and his rugrats,” Mizuki sneers, “you love kids so much, I wouldn’t be surprised if people thought-“ Iruka’s face completely loses color and he looks as if someone slapped him.

“That is absolutely enough,” Kakashi’s voice is colder than the tundras of Snow Country as he harshly cuts Mizuki off. Sasuke and Naruto freeze completely. He feels slightly guilty over scaring them but he lets his killing intent leak out just enough that Mizuki goes white as he stalks over to the door, “I will not stand and listen to someone as arrogant and self-absorbed as you denigrate Iruka any further. Anyone that knows Iruka knows that he’s a kind and selfless person who cares about those who deserve it. This is an order from a superior, do you understand? You’re slandering the reputation of an upstanding Konoha shinobi and if you do not cease and desist, I will make sure that any jonin you go on a mission with knows that you are not to be trusted”

“You-“ Mizuki glares, “you can’t do that!”

“I can and I will. My reputation in this village is absolute,” Kakashi says, “can you say the same about yours? Especially after your questionable actions on a mission?”

Mizuki snarls. “You’ve dug your grave, Iruka-kun,” he sneers, turning on his heel and disappearing.

Kakashi shuts the door gently. Iruka flinches slightly. His hands are shaking and he’s pale.

“Hey,” Kakashi murmurs. 

“Ruka-niisan?”

“Yeah,” Iruka visibly gathers himself and Kakashi watches in shock as whatever those shattered pieces were get swept behind a smile. “I’m sorry, everyone, about that”

“Who was that?” Sasuke frowns.

“An old…friend,” Iruka glances at the door. “Or, someone I thought was a friend”

“He’s not a very good friend,” Sasuke’s blunt observation seems to rattle Iruka. Kakashi knows that as long as the kids are around, Iruka will hold it together. 

“How about we take a break?” Kakashi says, watching Iruka carefully. “Naruto-kun, Sasuke-kun, you guys have been cooped up here all day. Go down to the training field and run through the katas I showed you the other day as a warmup. Then no contact sparring. I’ll be there in a minute, I just have to change”

“But Ruka-niisan…”

“Is coming too,” Kakashi says, “he’s wanted to see you guys training, but neither one of us is dressed for that”

“Alright,” Naruto hesitates. 

“Come on, dobe,” Sasuke says. “I bet you can’t do them better than me,” Kakashi knows Sasuke sees through the excuse and he’s grateful that he’s helping.

“I can too, teme! Cause one day I’ll kick Mizubaka’s butt!”

Iruka lets out a shaky laugh and Kakashi knows he’s barely hanging on to his composure. “Then you should go practice,” he says, “Kakashi-san and I will get changed, organize a bit so it doesn’t look like a construction zone and meet you there”

Naruto hugs him tight around the middle before dashing out the door. Sasuke gives a small tug to the hem of Iruka’s shirt before following.

The minute the door closes, Iruka crumples. Kakashi catches him easily as he begins to sob.

“Hey,” Kakashi holds him close, “it’s fine, it’s okay”

“I’ve never fought with him like that,” Iruka says, voice thick with tears, “he’s never…never been that cruel”

“He was jealous,” Kakashi confirms. 

“Why?” Iruka sniffles, “he has Tsubaki and-”

“I would be jealous too,” Kakashi murmurs, “especially looking at you like this. And he’s selfish. It doesn’t matter that he has Tsubaki because he doesn’t love, someone like that is only capable of wanting to possess. Which is why he lashed out”

“I’ve never,” Iruka exhales, “I’ve never seen that kind of expression on his face. Kakashi, I-” Iruka cuts himself off.

“It’s alright to be scared,” Kakashi says. “I seem to recall someone telling me that their mother said not showing emotions is stupid”

Iruka laughs a watery laugh. “I did tell you that, huh?” he says, wiping his eyes. “Thank you, Kakashi-san”

“Maa, I think we’re past the san part,” Kakashi says, lightly flicking his nose. “And Mizuki isn’t going to come anywhere near you if I have any say in it”

“I’m not scared for me,” Iruka worries his lip, “I’m scared for the kids. Naruto in particular is…he’s vulnerable, defenseless, I-gods, I should have been training him better and-”

“Stop,” Kakashi says, gripping Iruka’s shoulders and shaking him lightly. “Naruto, he’s improving. You’ll see. And besides, now he has Sasuke by his side. And, if it makes you feel better, whenever they go off alone I can have one of my ninken follow them”

Iruka exhales shakily and drops his head on Kakashi’s shoulder.

“I-that would be great, thank you”

“The pack loves him anyway,” Kakashi laughs, running his hand down the back of Iruka’s neck, wishing it was his hair. “Let’s get changed and go watch them try to beat each other up. You said you needed to train for the practical exams in three, well, two days now right?”

“I completely forgot about them”

“Looks like you’re training with me then,” Kakashi winks.

Iruka looks dubious, but obediently changes into his uniform. 

He meets Kakashi at the door and he still looks a bit rattled. Kakashi pulls him in tight, holding him close.

“It’ll be okay, I promise”

Iruka nods, fingers curling in the back of Kakashi’s vest.

Kakashi is impressed and more than a little turned on by the way Iruka moves. His movements are crisp and clean and textbook perfect but with little tricks thrown in that make them unpredictable.

He’s seconds away from using his Sharingan to track Iruka’s movements.

The kids, well, Naruto, cheer. 

Kakashi only becomes aware of the rest of their little cohort arriving after they’ve stopped for a break. Kiba and Naruto are cheering, Shikamaru is watching lazily from under a tree with Sasuke sitting near and Choji is snacking.

“I guess we have a peanut gallery,” Iruka laughs, dodging out of Kakashi’s range and dancing backwards.

“Don’t wanna disappoint them then, do we?” Kakashi responds, shifting his stance. Iruka is very good at reading his moves and he wonders what it would like to play shogi against him.

Kakashi has figured Iruka out, he thinks. His movements are cautious and familiar, without taking any big risks.

“Is this how you actually fight?” Kakshi dodges a textbook perfect blow.

“Not exactly,” Iruka laughs, parrying a kick, “but part of this exam is to see how we practice what we teach. In a real fight I’m not against a little hair pulling, cheap shots and dirt throwing”

“One of these days I want to spar with you for real then,” Kakashi shifts to a more textbook fighting style. 

Iruka’s grin is absolutely feral and distracts Kakashi enough for Iruka to sock him in the solar plexus with his palm.

“RUKA-NIISAN ACTUALLY HIT A JONIN!” Naruto screeches.

“GO! GO! GO!” Kiba is cheering.

“What’s this commotion?”

“Asuma-san,” Iruka grins, ducking under Kakashi’s punch and coming to a stop. Kakashi is moving slow enough that he’s able to catch himself.

“I heard shouting and came to see what the issue was, but I find you showing off for a bunch of rugrats,” Asuma ruffles Iruka’s hair. “Kakashi,” he salutes a lazy greeting.

“Yo,” Kakashi grins, crinkling his eye. He knows Asuma and Iruka were close before Asuma left, he’s glad they still are. 

“He’s helping me practice for the exam tomorrow,” Iruka makes a face.

“Hey, I’m not that bad!” Kakashi teases.

“Not you, the exam,” Iruka huffs.

“There’s five of you, right?”

“Yup. Us versus the proctors. So part of the exam is how well we can work together, how well we can team up, and part of the exam is how well we can actually practice the techniques we’re gonna teach”

“Sounds like a nuisance”

“It is. An entire day too,” Iruka shakes his head. “I have today and two days after to train for it”

“Good luck,” Asuma shakes his head, “you’ve got a good training partner though,” he tips his head in Kakashi’s direction.

Mischief flickers across Iruka’s face as he looks at Kakashi thoughtfully.

“Hey, who wants to help me get Kakashi-san?” he announces.

“Maa, no fair!” Kakashi laughs as Naruto and Kiba loudly declare they’re gonna kick his ass. Even Sasuke sounds interested. Shikamaru shakes his head and Choji sits next to Shikamaru with his bag of chips.

Kakashi allows himself to be chased onto the training field by three seven year olds, followed more sedately by the eighteen year old nuisance who is apparently commanding them. 

“Go!” Iruka shouts, lunging at Kakashi with a strike that he parries.

Without warning, he’s dodging messy and unpredictable attacks all coming from the knee-high range.

“You have minions!” Kakashi laughs, dodging a flaily strike from Kiba and gently pushing him to the ground, “how is this fair?” 

“Teamwork, Kakashi-san,” Iruka winks. “Besides, how else can I stand a chance against you?”

“Maa, you don’t give yourself enough credit here,” Kakashi dodges a kick from Iruka and a palm strike from Sasuke, flipping the latter over his arm with ease.

Suddenly, Asuma’s foot is coming at Kakashi and he’s leaping back. A near miss.

“Hey, not fair!” Kakashi groans, dodging his punch, “I didn’t know I had to fight you too!”

“Hey, Iruka is the one who asked,” Asuma grins, trading blows.

Kakashi leaps up as Sasuke comes in low, leaping over Asuma and whirling around to narrowly avoid Iruka’s kick and Naruto’s clumsy tackle as he trips the kid by the ankle.

Suddenly, Asuma’s beefy arms wrap beneath his.

“Now!” Iruka shouts. 

Asuma lets go right as Kakashi is tackled to the ground by three, four?, small bodies.

“We got him!” Kiba screeches from where he’s sprawled over Kakashi’s stomach. Naruto sits proudly on Kakashi’s chest. Sasuke and Choji have his legs trapped.

Iruka is laughing, chunks of hair falling loose around his face and Kakashi is helpless to do anything other than stare because he is so fucking beautiful.

“Good job!” Iruka claps.

“Maa, alright, you win,” Kakashi laughs, “gremlins, off!”

The four kids scramble off of him and Asuma holds out a hand to help him up. Kakashi dusts the dirt and grass off, watching the kids crowd around Iruka, all talking over each other as they try to outdo each other for who had the most impressive attack. 

Even Sasuke, usually quiet, has been swept up in the chaos.

“He’s good with them, eh?”

“Yeah,” Kakashi says.

“Always was too. Could get the younger kids in his Academy classes to stop crying. My sister just had a baby and already, Uncle Ruka is the favorite”

“I can see why”

Asuma punches him in the arm with a chuckle. “Rude”

Kakashi salutes.

“You look good, Kakashi”

“Hm?”

“You look…happy”

Kakashi glances at where Iruka is fending off the attacks of four kids, laughing and dodging and dumping grass on their heads before striking out with gentle swipes and careful flicks.

“I think I am,” Kakashi says quietly, surprised to realize that he really is. Asuma pats him on the shoulder.

“I’m heading off!” Asuma calls.

“Bye, Asuma-san!” Iruka calls back.

Naruto screeches. In his distraction, Kiba and Naruto successfully latch onto Iruka’s legs, Choji and Sasuke use the momentum to knock him down and the five of them go tumbling through the grass.

Iruka sprawls out ridiculously, followed immediately by the four boys. Kakashi pads over to where they’re all laying, eyes closed.

“Bunch of lazy shinobi here,” Kakashi drawls, rolling Naruto over to steal his spot next to Iruka, laying close enough that the backs of their hands are brushing.

“You’re being a lazy shinobi too,” Sasuke points out. 

“Maa, I suppose I am”

Iruka tilts his head to the side to make eye contact with Kakashi. Kakashi closes his eye in a wink. The smile that spreads across Iruka’s face is slow and soft and his fingers subtly bump Kakashi’s.

Shikamaru migrates from his spot under his tree to lay down next to Choji and Kakashi laughs to himself at the impromptu group nap.

His fingers find Iruka’s and lightly loop together. 

The pink flush that crawls across his cheeks is worth it as Kakashi lets himself slip into a light doze.

Chapter Text

Kakashi is startled awake by a scream. Once his adrenaline settles and he realizes it’s just Sasuke and his nightmares he sighs and rolls off the couch. He should have expected it, honestly. 

Iruka is already in the room when Kakashi arrives, arms around Sasuke. Naruto has rolled over to cling to Iruka’s leg, chin resting on his thigh as he solemnly watches the other boy tremble.

“It’s okay,” Iruka’s voice is soft and warm, “it’s just a bad dream, you’re safe here. Kakashi and I won’t let anything bad happen to you”

Sasuke presses closer, clinging to Iruka’s shirt. Iruka looks up when Kakashi enters. 

“Bad dream?” he crouches down and ruffles Sasuke’s hair.

Naruto rolls, wiggles so he’s sprawled between Iruka’s bent legs and rests his chin on Sasuke’s knee. Iruka’s hand comes down to rest against Naruto’s hair. Kakashi shifts to sit, back against the wall, half behind Iruka and half behind Sasuke, tugging Iruka back against his chest and wrapping an arm around Sasuke. His other hand settles easily on Iruka’s hip.

Iruka begins to hum the familiar lullaby. Kakashi closes his eyes and listens, adding the words in his own head. Iruka’s voice is much nicer than his own.

Kakashi wakes up feeling warm. He doesn’t remember falling asleep and is a little confused by where he is and why he can’t really move. At first he thinks it’s his dogs on the bed again, but as his brain filters awake, he remembers the night before and Sasuke’s nightmare.

He takes stock of his position in the small room and marvels over several things.

Sasuke is tucked between Kakashi and Iruka, face pressed against Kakashi’s side. Iruka is curled on his side, mimicking Sasuke’s position, arm thrown over Sasuke, hand resting lightly against Kakashi’s stomach and head on his arm. Naruto is splayed haphazardly across both Kakashi’s and Sasuke’s legs, with his head resting on Iruka’s hip. It looks uncomfortable, but he’s sleeping soundly. Kakashi’s own arm is trapped by Iruka, wrapped around his shoulder.

He’s surprised he actually managed to sleep like this. He’s not usually able to sleep around people. He’s never even stayed the night with any of his sexual partners, preferring to sleep alone.

Has he really let his guard down this much?

But something about this makes him feel protective. In his sleep, Iruka doesn’t look any older than the actual kids, especially with his hair loose. 

Kakashi suddenly feels very old even though he’s only twenty-one. Very old and suddenly very responsible even though he knows it’s entirely irrational. He’s not technically responsible for anyone. But watching Iruka, Sasuke and Naruto sleeping so peacefully, trusting Kakashi enough to sleep like this even though they, at least Iruka, know about his reputation, that he could kill them all, something about this makes him want to keep them all safe with a fierce protectiveness.

Brown eyes flick over to him and he realizes Iruka is awake. Iruka blinks once, long and slow, and Kakashi takes that as a silent greeting. He blinks back.

Iruka holds a finger to his lips and carefully extracts himself from the pile, scooping Naruto up and plopping him next to Sasuke. Kakashi watches in amusement as Naruto latches into Sasuke like the Uchiha is a stuffed toy.

Kakashi skillfully disentangles himself and follows Iruka out of the room, quietly shutting the door.

“Sorry,” Iruka rubs at his eyes, “I didn’t mean to fall asleep in there like that”

He doesn’t think he’s seen Iruka looking so sleep ruffled. Usually Iruka is dressed and ready by the time he emerges from his room. 

Kakashi feels like he’s unlocked a new side of Iruka and it leaves a thrill in his chest.

“It’s fine,” Kakashi says, “your hair is a lot longer than it looks”

“Hm?” Iruka runs his fingers through the brown strands falling just above his shoulders, “ah, yeah, it loses a lot of length when I pull it up,” he laughs, “I had it really long at one point. Down to my waist”

“Really?” Kakashi asks despite remembering what Iruka looked like with it that long. He wonders if he should tell Iruka he’s spent years stalking him, wonders if Iruka would be accepting of it, “why did you cut it?”

Iruka scratches his scar. “I had been thinking about it because long hair and kids is a bad combination and I knew I wanted to become a teacher at that point. Then Mizuki told me it made me look like a woman which only solidified the decision”

Kakashi decides not to comment on the Mizuki part. “I think you’d look good even if you were completely bald”

Iruka blushes.

“I considered it at one point,” Iruka admits, leaning against the counter as he brews tea, “back when I was maybe fourteen? Mostly because it would shock people who had seen me with my long hair. Anko said I’d look like a pachinko ball”

Kakashi smiles to himself.

“It’s hard to remember that he’s only seven,” Iruka sighs, running his hand down his face. “It’s no shock that he has nightmares, but…” Iruka sighs, “did you?”

Kakashi looks out the window.

“Not really after my father died,” he says, remembering the horrible months after Rin’s death.

“I did,” Iruka says quietly, “after the Nine-Tails attack. I had them pretty much every night. Mizuki was always there for me though. I used to think he was so strong because he never cried, because he never had nightmares. He’d comfort me in this blunt, abrasive way. But where his words were harsh, he was always gentle…”

“You’re still thinking about yesterday”

“He’s not the Mizuki I remember,” Iruka whispers, shaking his head, “he was always blunt, sometimes offensive, but never malicious”

“People change,” Kakashi shrugs. He thinks Mizuki has always been malicious, but he’s not going to tell Iruka that. 

“I just, how did I miss it?” 

“Maybe he hid it well,” Kakashi says, “or you didn’t want to”

Iruka sighs.

“Thank you, by the way”

“For?” 

“Staying with Sasuke last night. You didn’t have to. I can imagine it’s not easy for you to sleep around others. And I know how Naruto sleeps and even I have a hard time sometimes”

Kakashi smiles softly. “I didn’t mind,” and he’s surprised to find he actually means it.

It had felt…familiar. Comforting. He’s not sure what that means for him. 

There’s a knock on the door and Iruka looks at Kakashi in confusion and apprehension.

He grabs a hair tie out of a bowl on the counter and sweeps his hair back as he answers the door. 

Kakashi stays hidden in the kitchen but he hears everything.

“Mai-san?”

“Iruka-san,” a girl’s voice says, “Fuyuno and I were wondering if you wanted to come training with us today? We invited Akari-san too”

“Sure, what time were you thinking?”

“Well, Fuyuno was able to schedule the Academy training field for fourteen hundred”

“Sure, that sounds like fun”

“Great! And, um,” her voice turns a little guilty, “could you maybe not tell Mizuki-san?”

“Don’t worry,” Iruka sighs, “I don’t think I’m going to be talking to Mizuki any time soon”

“Oh good,” relief, “it’s just that he’s…”

“I know,” Kakashi can imagine Iruka’s face. “I’ll see you guys at fourteen hundred”

Kakashi glances at the clock 10:15. He should probably think about leaving soon too.

“I’m sure you heard,” Iruka scratches at his scar. 

“Yeah, and I’m actually leaving on a mission in about an hour,” Kakashi rubs the back of his neck, “should only take about a day or so”

He had taken a short-term, domestic B-rank so he could be back in time for Iruka’s practical exam. His job is to meet a returning team and provide backup. Fortunately they’re on the borders of Fire Country, but there’s the possibility of missing-nin having followed them and half the team is injured or chakra depleted according to their report. Half a day to get there, probably a day, day and a half at most, to get back.

“We should figure out breakfast then,” Iruka turns to his fridge.

“What about omurice?” Kakashi suggests. 

“I’ll start on the rice,” Iruka says, “otherwise I may burn the eggs”

Kakashi grins, remembering all of Iruka’s disastrous kitchen attempts. The food is usually varying levels of good in the end, but the process is always a disaster. 

The rice is almost done by the time Naruto and Sasuke are roused by the smell of food.

Neither kid is fully awake and Iruka snorts a laugh at their matching bedheads before absently smoothing down a particularly hectic looking tuft on Sasuke’s head. The seven year old leans into Iruka’s hand, too sleepy to realize he’s allowing Iruka to pet his hair.

Kakashi dices tomatoes to mix in Sasuke’s rice.

“Kakashi-san has a mission today,” Iruka says, leaning against the counter, staring at the rice.

Naruto perks up. “Are you going to fight the bad guys?” 

“Dobe,” Sasuke mumbles, “not all missions are fights”

“Sasuke is right,” Kakashi says, “hopefully I don’t have to fight bad guys”

“Is it going to be long?” Sasuke asks. Kakashi catches the quick glance Iruka shoots his way. 

“No, I leave in a couple hours and should be back in a day”

Sasuke relaxes at that and Iruka hides his smile by scooping out the rice. 

He hisses when he burns his hand and Kakashi sighs, tugging him over to the sink by his wrist and holding it under the cold water.

“I feel like I need to give you kitchen safety lessons”

“Sorry,” Iruka scratches his scar sheepishly before returning to his task more carefully.

It’s all oddly domestic and Kakashi realizes with a start that he’s gotten used to it. He never in a million years would have thought that he’d be here like this.  

He hasn’t even been back to his own dorm except to get new clothes, some books, and his mission pack just in case.

Breakfast is always quiet, probably the only time that’s quiet, because neither Naruto nor Iruka are morning people and neither Kakashi nor Sasuke are particularly chatty at any time of the day. 

“I’m going to be training most of the day,” Iruka finally says, “Naruto, Sasuke, you two good to entertain yourselves?” they nod.

“Maa, I could always foist them off on Gai,” Kakashi grins. Iruka gives him a look that’s probably supposed to be disapproving but is really more amused than anything.

“Who’s that?” Naruto asks with a yawn.

“You just need to meet him,” Kakashi says, propping his chin in his hand. Sasuke is eyeing him suspiciously.

Kakashi thinks he can just leave straight from Iruka’s, so after helping him clear the dishes he changes into his uniform and grabs his pack.

“I guess I’ll see you when you get back?” Iruka tilts his head, still in his pajamas.

“Yeah,” Kakashi smiles, “can’t wait to hear how it went”

“Come home safely”

Naruto launches himself at Kakashi, squeezing his waist tightly. Sasuke stands awkwardly to the side, looking like he wants to hug him but not sure whether he should. 

Iruka lightly nudges him forward and Kakashi holds out an arm. Sasuke’s hug is quick and brief but Iruka’s smile is soft. Kakashi resists the urge to kiss him goodbye.

He leaves for his mission feeling different. 

Before, he wouldn’t care whether he came back alive or uninjured. But now, now he realizes he wants to come back. He wants to hear ‘welcome home’ and feel like he’s actually home.

The difference scares him a little. 

He’s always thought that having emotional connections to other people was a weakness. But the sense of determination that fills him at the thought of coming back alive makes him think that if he had to, he would do anything to make sure that happens.

His partner on the mission is Shiranui Genma. He has nothing against Genma, exactly, but the older man can be annoying.

“So, did you get a goodbye kiss? Goodbye fuck?” Genma teases when Kakashi arrives. Kakashi ignores him. “Must say, you’ve got good taste. Iruka is cute as hell. And he comes with a kid, which, could be a good thing or a bad thing depending on your opinion”

“Are you here to gossip or complete a mission?” Kakashi asks flatly.

“Never thought I’d see the day that Hatake Kakashi is playing house,” Genma chuckles, easily keeping pace much to Kakashi’s annoyance. “I knew Iruka growing up, you know, lived down the hall from me with Anko after she moved out of the orphan dorms. I think he was fourteen or so. Kid was a pain in the ass but that smile could charm the pants off anyone”

Kakashi holds back his disgusted noise. He knows Genma is just needling him and wouldn’t actually have done anything with a fourteen year old, but he still feels a flare of protectiveness.

“Never cared much for the third brat who hung around though,” Genma muses, “this arrogant, pale-haired kid. Seemed older than them both. Barely made chunin and already lorded it over everyone. Never understood how someone like Iruka put up with him”

Kakashi knows Genma is talking about Mizuki but doesn’t say anything.

“Sometimes Iruka and Anko would come knocking on my door asking for an antidote. Did you know they spent three years intentionally poisoning themselves?” Genma shakes his head. “You wouldn’t know it, looking at him today, but Iruka was such a delightful little shit. I could never tell whether I wanted to string him up by his toes or pinch his cheeks,” he leans in with a leer, “or do other things”

Kakashi ignores the twinge of jealousy and keeps a flat expression.

“You’re no fun,” Genma huffs, “I thought becoming a parent would make you more relaxed, but you haven’t changed a bit. I hope you’re not this cold towards Iruka”

Well, he’s grateful it seems like he hasn’t changed on the surface. He doesn’t mind being soft around Iruka and the kids but the minute anyone else realizes how much he’s changed, he’s done for.

The fact Kakashi is even capable of being soft is an endless shock to him.

Kakashi doesn’t bother making conversation with Genma as they stop and rest for the night.

He leans against the tree and pulls out his book. He had forgotten to switch the dust covers back so he finds himself staring at psycho babble on child trauma.

Oh well. 

He reads through the book again, flipping to the part about nightmares. He wonders if Sasuke will have a nightmare tonight.

At least he’ll have Iruka and Naruto but he’s surprised at the sudden desire to be back in Konoha, to want to be there in case tonight is one of Sasuke’s bad nights.

Kakashi remembers a mission he went on as the captain of two chunin. One man couldn’t stop talking about how his son said his first word the other day, how he couldn’t wait to finish the mission so he could get home and see him and his wife.

At the time, Kakashi had scoffed, thinking that such feelings were a sign of weakness.

Yet when they had been engaged by bandits who probably had been at least jonin at some point, the way he fought had impressed Kakashi. Equal parts determination and equal parts desperation. It had made him fierce and deadly. 

Even on the verge of bleeding to death, he managed the brutal pace they set to return to the village. Kakashi had watched him hug a woman and a toddler that looked exactly like him before collapsing at the gate.

Kakashi hadn’t understood at the time.

He thinks he understands now.

“You’re missing him, aren’t you?”

Kakashi looks up. Genma is watching him. 

“You’ve finally joined the ranks of actual human beings, Kakashi,” Genma chuckles, turning to look at the sky. “Right now, I want nothing more than to be able to curl up around Raido and fall asleep in his arms,” his voice has a rare tone of soft vulnerability that piques Kakashi’s attention, “but that’s the life we chose. I’m just lucky that I have someone who understands that. I couldn’t imagine dating a civilian”

Kakashi had known, peripherally, that Genma and Raido were a couple.

“It’s not like that,” Kakashi finds himself saying despite the hint of steel to his tone. “We’re not together”

“You don’t have to be,” Genma shrugs, strangely serious for once, “I was missing Raido before we were together. Just the thought of being able to see him again helped me get through some of my harder missions. Sometimes the only thing that kept me going. It’s not a weakness, Kakashi, to have someone special to want to return to. Regardless of what your relationship to them is”

Kakashi doesn’t respond.

Chapter Text

“Did you hear? The Academy Instructor Exam! One of them got hurt bad!”

Kakashi freezes at the words. He had returned from his mission on time and after sending the injured team members to the hospital he staked out the Mission Room for anything on the exam. But he didn’t expect this.

“What did you say?” he asks one of the three chunin who had spoken. Asuma is on alert too and Kakashi knows he had a similar train of thought on waiting.

“It’s just a rumor right now. But I heard that he died”

“No, I heard he can’t walk anymore!”

“The worst part? It was one of the other examinees! Apparently the guy has a track record for friendly fire”

“Iruka,” Kakashi says. Asuma nods. 

“I just heard,” Anko comes flying down the hall, “you don’t think…?”

“The other day I was helping Iruka with something and Mizuki showed up. He thought we were together and went off. Nearly accused Iruka of being a pedophile. He said that Iruka’s dug his own grave”

“That bastard,” Anko snarls, “I’m going to kill him”

“Wait,” Asuma blinks, “he thought you were together?”

“Yeah,” Kakashi narrows his eye, “made a scene about it in front of Naruto and Sasuke”

“Sasuke? The Uchiha kid?” Anko asks in surprise.

“Long story. But he’s staying with Iruka”

“Little shit is gonna have so much explaining to do to me”

“But wait, you mean you aren’t together?” Asuma asks in disbelief.

“No?” Kakashi blinks, “do people think that?”

“Uh, yeah,” Anko chortles, “you guys are always together, and like, coparenting the nuisance. It’s only natural to assume”

“Right,” Kakashi scratches the back of his neck, “I’m not opposed but…”

“Ah, he’s dense as fuck,” Anko nods. Asuma snorts.

“At least some things never change,” he says, sobering, “let’s go”

They arrive at the training grounds to find it milling with people.

“-do you mean we can’t see him!” 

“Ko!” Anko takes off, “Ko! What happened!”

“Mizuki tried to kill Iruka in the middle of the exam!” a spiky haired chunin that Kakashi recognizes from the gates shouts, “but these assholes won’t let us in to see him!” he gestures to an ANBU in a hawk mask.

“Tenzo!” Kakashi flags down his kohai.

“Senpai,” Tenzo complains, “can you please use my code name when I’m in my mask?” 

“These four,” he gestures to the two gate chunin, Anko and Asuma, “let them past”

“Senpai, no one is allowed in except authorized personnel. I cannot go against orders”

“Then I’ll go,” Kakashi says. 

He stares down the hawk-masked ANBU until they let him pass.

“Tell us how he is!” Anko shouts. 

“I promise,” Kakashi responds. The four of them are joined by Genma and Namiashi Raido. 

Kakashi makes his way to the buzzing hub of people. 

Three chunin are clustered by the steps. A girl with dark skin and purple pigtails is sobbing into the shoulder of a young man with glasses. The blonde woman is staring blankly. 

Iruka is laying facedown, shirtless and unconscious. His hair falls haphazardly around his shoulders as medic-nins work diligently on a giant hole in the middle his back.

“Status report,” Kakashi snaps, withdrawing into Hound. Iruka looks dead. He doesn’t know how he’d cope with Iruka being dead. 

“Sir,” one of the medics falters, “Umino Iruka, chunin, eighteen. Took a fuma shuriken to the spine between the T5 and T6 vertebrae. Collapsed lung. Medics are working to stabilize his spine and prevent paralysis”

“Outlook?” Kakashi feels a cold knot of dread gnawing at his stomach.

“Too soon to tell, sir”

“Do everything you can”

“Understood”

Kakashi takes one last look at Iruka’s unconscious form. 

He knows he can’t stay otherwise his killing intent will leak out and he can’t afford to distract the medic-nins.

He returns to where the group has grown by Kurenai and a tokubetsu jonin with sunglasses.

He’s grateful Gai is on a mission. He doesn’t think he could handle him right now.

“It’s Iruka,” he says, voice cold, “he took a fuma shuriken to the spine,” Anko gasps. Asuma swears. Genma looks murderous and Raido closes his eyes. Kurenai’s fist comes up to her mouth. “It collapsed a lung and medics are working to stabilize his spine and prevent paralysis. It’s too soon to tell”

“Was it Mizuki?” Anko demands.

“Iruka was first priority,” Kakashi says, turning on his heel and making his way towards the entrance. He runs into Morino Ibiki.

“Hatake”

“Morino. What can you tell me?”

“I shouldn’t,” Ibiki raises an eyebrow, “but you’re important to the brat and will tell everyone else important to the brat. At 1500, chunin Toji Mizuki seemingly deliberately threw a fuma shuriken at chunin Umino Iruka while he was defending an injured comrade, chunin Nakamura Mai. It was witnessed by jonin Hyuga Hanae who will certify that Toji deliberately targeted Umino. Toji is being transported to T&I as we speak and I am collecting statements”

Kakashi feels his jaw clench. “I see”

“I’m going to enjoy breaking him,” Ibiki says stoically.

“Mind if I watch?” 

Ibiki’s grin is vicious.

He reports the findings to the group. 

Anko’s wave of killing intent startles several ANBU.

The atmosphere is grim. Kakashi turns and stalks away, taking to the trees. He needs to get away before he loses it. And his killing intent is a lot stronger than Anko’s.

“Senpai”

“Kohai”

“You and Iruka-san…?”

“No,” he says, “but when he survives this, I’m going to make it so”

“I’m happy for you, senpai”

“Tenzo,” Kakashi closes his eyes, “don’t let Iruka die”

“I’ll do my best, senpai”

Kakashi runs until he lands at an ANBU training ground. Despite being technically retired, his tattoo still grants him access past the barrier. 

Barriers make him think of Iruka.

He lets go of his killing intent with an inarticulate roar as he throws every single destructive jutsu in his arsenal, releasing clones and destroying them in one breath, kicking, punching. The devastation surrounding him mirrors the devastation in his heart.

Please, please a part of his brain pleads, a part that sounds desperately like his eight year old self, please don’t die

A sob tears from his throat but he’s not crying. He lands, staggering from the dramatic loss of chakra. 

“Senpai!” Tenzo catches him as he sags to his knees. “Senpai, you mustn’t do this. Iruka-san needs you, Naruto-kun and Sasuke-kun need you”

“Tenzo,” Kakashi rasps, bowing his head, “I don’t know what I’ll do if-”

“Senpai, that’s why I’m here,” Tenzo says, “Iruka-san will live”

Relief of a strength he’s never felt before floods Kakashi and he collapses against Tenzo. The only person, aside from Iruka, who has seen his vulnerable sides. 

“Will he be able to walk?”

“There was a sixty percent chance, that went up to seventy-five with proper therapy. But that was when I left and they were still working on him”

“Tenzo,” Kakashi gasps out, “Tenzo, I love him, I love him”

“Maybe you should tell him, senpai,” Tenzo says, patting Kakashi on the back. “Where are the kids?”

“Inuzukas”

“Ah. I hope they don’t know then”

“I need to go, I need to tell them,” Kakashi straightens, with effort.

“Senpai, are you able to walk? You used up a lot of chakra…”

“I had to,” he says, “otherwise my killing intent would leak out and nobody needs that”

“Senpai, I could feel it even through the barriers. You have the chance, tell Iruka-san how you feel”

“What if it’s too much? After everything…”

“You have a chance, senpai. You could have lost him. Don’t wait”

Kakashi closes his eyes.

He makes his way to the Inuzuka compound on autopilot and knocks on the door. It’s opened by a grim-looking Tsume.

“I heard,” Tsume’s eyes narrow as she lets Kakashi inside, “do they know who did it?”

“Yes,” Kakashi says, “he’s at T&I”

“Good. I hope they rip him a new one. Iruka is the sweetest thing ever. To hurt him like that…”

“Where are the boys?” 

“Playing in Kiba’s room. They don’t know”

“Thank you, Tsume-san”

Tsume claps him on the shoulder.

“Kaka-niisan!” Naruto throws his arms around Kakashi’s legs, “did Ruka-niisan pass? Where is he? He said we’d go out for ramen to celebrate!”

“Something happened,” Sasuke narrows his eyes.

“Iruka,” Kakashi exhales, “he got very hurt”

“Hurt?” Naruto’s lip wobbles, “but, he’ll be…he’ll be okay right?”

“He’s alive, yes,” Kakashi isn’t sure about the okay part.

“Can we go see him? I want to go see him!”

“He’s, well, he’s probably in surgery now, but we can go to the hospital”

“What happened?” Sasuke frowns, “was it that guy?”

“Sharp kiddo,” Kakashi sighs, “yes. He hurt Iruka during the exam”

Sasuke’s jaw clenches.

Neither one of them complain about Kakashi holding their hands. Naruto is the most subdued and is clinging tightly to Kakashi. Sasuke seems lost in thought. 

Kakashi doesn’t know how to handle this. What he’s going to do if Iruka doesn’t recover.

Chapter Text

The crowd in the waiting room is large. Kakashi even spots Sandaime standing against the wall looking grim.

“Anything?” Kakashi asks Asuma, who shakes his head. 

“Surgery for a couple hours. His outlook is good but he’ll need help for a few months”

Kakashi nods, already trying to figure out how to handle the situation.

“Hey nuisance,” Anko says, also sounding subdued. Naruto launches himself at her and she catches him, hugging him tightly. “Haven’t seen you for a bit”

“Kaka-nii was watching me,” Naruto says. “Is Ruka-nii gonna be okay?”

“Yeah, kiddo,” Anko ruffles his hair, “he’ll be okay”

“What happened to him?”

“Hm?” Kakashi looks down at Sasuke, who is almost hiding behind Kakashi’s leg at the presence of people.

“The guy. What happened to him”

“Well, he was taken away,” Kakashi isn’t sure what to say. Sasuke is going to be a shinobi, Kakashi shouldn’t hide these things from him. But he doesn’t think Iruka would want him to be so blunt about these things. But also, he had incorrectly predicted Iruka’s reaction to his training regime. “To be interrogated”

“Good,” Sasuke says, sounding satisfied, “I hope they torture him”

Kakashi raises an eyebrow. Well then.

“Yeah,” Kakashi quietly agrees, “me too”

The door opens and Choji comes running in followed more sedately by Shikamaru who is walking at what could be considered a run for him.

“Sorry,” Shikaku scrubs a hand down his face, “they wouldn’t take no for an answer when they heard. What happened?”

“Fuma shuriken to the spine,” Kakashi says, watching Shikamaru and Choji greet Naruto and Sasuke, “friendly fire”

Shikaku whistles. “I don’t know Iruka-san well, but Shikamaru is fond of him. Says his house is good for napping and that he’s not half-bad at shogi. It’s nice having the kid out of the house sometimes and actually supervised”

“Yeah”

“He mentioned you too,” Shikaku says amused, “he said Iruka’s boyfriend isn’t too bad either”

Kakashi slides his hands into his pockets.

“Seems to be the prevailing belief,” Kakashi says.

“I’m shocked,” Shikaku’s voice takes on a teasing lilt, “who would have guessed Hatake Kakashi would settle down with a schoolteacher and adopt two brats?”

“It’s actually not like that”

“Yeah, Shikamaru said as much. Said for a genius you were pretty dumb”

“I can’t argue that”

“He’ll be alright, Kakashi-san,” Shikaku claps him on the shoulder, “now, you mind watching Shikamaru and Choji? The wife thinks I’m here, so I have some free time to nap”

Kakashi makes an affirmative gesture and Shikaku trails out of the hospital.

The four boys are sitting huddled together in a corner. 

Kakashi knows something is wrong because they’re quiet and they all look shifty as hell.

Really, they’re going to be shinobi. They should have a better poker face than this.

“They’re plotting something,” Asuma raises an eyebrow.

“I’m half-tempted to let them and see what they come up with,” Kakashi responds, “Shikamaru’s intelligence, Sasuke’s skill, Naruto’s sheer determination, Choji’s support…if combined in the right way and with more than one braincell, it could be interesting”

“Except Iruka would kill you”

“Iruka would kill me”

Asuma snorts. 

Kakashi masks his presence and creeps up behind the cluster of seven year olds.

“-that hard,” Naruto is saying in a remarkably whispered tone, Kakashi has a momentary flash of pride.

“Ino’s dad works for T&I,” Shikamaru says, “I know that she’s gone with him a few times. I bet if she asked, he’d take us all. We just have to express interest in working for T&I. She said they only stay on the boring floor with offices, but I’m pretty sure that the right distraction it would be easy to get away”

“I can be a good distraction,” Choji says through his mouthful of chips, “Naruto is good at pranks too”

“Okay, but how do we find out where he’s being held?”

“Biki-niisan,” Naruto says, “he’s like the most important guy there. Wouldn’t he know?”

“We can’t just ask him, dobe”

“He probably has files on prisoners though,” Shikamaru points out. “If the distraction is big enough, we could lure him away from his office and then one of us could go and try to find the file”

“And if Inoichi-san doesn’t agree to take you?” Kakashi interjects, watching delightedly as the little co-conspirators jump several feet in the air. “You need to plan the infiltration thoroughly first before focusing on the next step; the distraction. You can’t distract if you can’t get in. And you need to have a backup plan in case your first plan fails. So, if Inoichi-san won’t take you, what will you do?”

The four of them exchange a glance like they’re not sure if it’s a trick question or not.

“I suppose we could find a way to get a badge,” Shikamaru says cautiously. “Maybe take Inoichi-ojiisan’s”

“Better. But you’re not familiar with the layout of T&I,” Kakashi points out, “so if you do get in, you’ll be wandering aimlessly”

“I’ll ask Ino,” Shikamaru says, “she knows where all the offices are”

“Using established contacts is good,” Kakashi says, tapping his chin. “What if she doesn’t tell you?”

“She’ll tell me,” Shikamaru says, “Ino likes to talk”

“Okay, so, you swipe Inoichi’s badge, make it into T&I and find Ibiki’s office, what now?”

“Distraction!” Choji says around his mouthful of food.

“What kind of distraction?”

“A loud one,” Naruto says earnestly. Kakashi pretends to think. Naruto looks uncertain.

“One of us could be a decoy,” Sasuke says thoughtfully, “a kid loose in T&I would draw everyone. It would have to be someone with good evasion skills so dobe and Choji are out. Dobe is too loud and Choji will give himself away by crunching”

“I’m going to be the one to pummel Mizubastard!” Naruto declares fiercely. Kakashi is actually a little impressed by the sheer determination and pure hatred in his blue eyes. His whiskers glow and Kakashi isn’t sure if the Nine-Tails’ chakra leaked or if it’s just Naruto’s intense anger.

“What if Ibiki’s files are locked up?” Kakashi asks. The four of them fall silent. He stumped them.

“How fast is it to learn lockpicking?” Choji asks. The other three look equally confused. 

“You know, Iruka was trained by someone who worked in infiltration”

“Really?” Sasuke blinks.

“Ask him to tell you sometime”

“Why can’t you help us, Kaka-nii?”

“Because Iruka would kill me,” Kakashi says cheerfully, “and I know he’d be very upset if something bad happened to any of you. You don’t want him to be upset when he has to focus on getting better, do you?”

“But…” Naruto’s lip wobbles and he swallows, hardening his features into something so reminiscent of his father. “Mizubastard hurt him! I want to kill him for touching Ruka-nii!”

Kakashi sighs. “Do you want to know who’s responsible for interrogating him?” 

“Who?” Naruto blinks.

“Ibiki”

Naruto scrunches his face.

“Dobe!” Sasuke hits him on the head, “he’s the head of the unit. And he cares about Iruka. Which means he won’t go easy”

“Still,” Naruto stares at his hands, “if something happened to Ruka-nii…” 

“Let me go find out how he’s doing, alright?” Kakashi ruffles four heads, “you keep planning your infiltration and tell me all about it when I come back”

“Why are you encouraging us if it’ll make Iruka mad?” Sasuke asks suspiciously.

“Because,” Kakashi says, hands in his pockets, “you’re several years too young to make it anywhere near T&I, but it’s good practice for when you become shinobi”

“Maybe Anko-neesan would sneak us in,” Kakashi hears Naruto say. He smiles to himself.

“What are you encouraging them to do?” Asuma asks, amused.

“Just a little infiltration,” Kakashi shrugs, “it’s good practice”

“Breaking into T&I?”

“Naruto is hellbent on pummeling Mizuki”

“I don’t blame him,” Asuma sighs, scrubbing a hand down his face. “I feel the same way”

“Maa, shame Ibiki gets to have all the fun”

Chapter Text

They don’t hear any news until four hours later. 

Shikaku had come to get Shikamaru and Choji at some point. He had chuckled as Kakashi informed him of his spawn’s plotting.

Their little infiltration plan, while definitely devised by kids, had the hallmarks of potential and Kakashi finds himself a little impressed with the next generation.

Naruto and Sasuke had fallen asleep in their corner and someone, Kakashi thinks it was one of the chunin gate guards, had covered them with a blanket. 

Sandaime periodically excused himself, but usually returned within the hour. 

Genma and Raido had left, but not until they made everyone promise to give them an update. 

Anko is fiercely standing guard by the door to the operating theater, the gate chunin on either side of her. Asuma had been kicked outside for smoking. Kurenai had gone with him.

Kakashi is grateful that the occupants dwindled. He’s happy Iruka has so many people who care about him, but being surrounded by that many people gives him hives. At least no one but Asuma tried to speak to him. He doesn’t know Anko except in passing and the disastrous time at Iruka’s house, and he absolutely doesn’t know the gate chunin. He doesn’t even know their names but they seem very close to Anko, therefore they’re probably equally close to Iruka, which means Kakashi should probably learn their names.

He set up in a spot that allows him to keep an eye both on the sleeping kids and on the door to the operating room but has the tactical advantage of being far removed from the crowd.

He’s staring at his book, thinking about living arrangements and how to tell Iruka how he feels, when the door opens.

Everyone is alert and Kakashi is on his feet.

“He’s out of the woods,” the head medic says, “he’ll live and will eventually regain full use of his legs, and full mobility, but he will need a few months of therapy. He’s lucky. Any lower and he’d be beyond hope, any higher and he’d be dead”

It takes all of Kakashi training to not collapse on the spot, but it’s a near thing. Sasuke and Naruto are clinging to his legs, half-awake.

“He’ll be on observation tonight and moved to a general room tomorrow and should be able to be released in a week. He’s lucky it didn’t completely sever his spine. He’ll be able to recover completely but the first few months he’ll need assistance. Does he live alone?”

“No,” Kakashi interjects, trying not to flinch at everyone’s stares.

“Then we’ll need to have a longer discussion, when time permits”

Kakashi nods.

“Ruka-niisan…he’ll be okay?” Naruto asks the medic, blue eyes wide and watery.

“He will”

Kakashi barely manages to catch him before he completely crumples, sobbing loudly into his shoulder. Sasuke buries his face in Kakashi’s pants.

Asuma is watching, amused. Anko, Kotetsu and Izumo are wearing matching grins. Sandaime looks pleased.

Kakashi is just grateful no one else is here to see. He’d never live it down. 

He catches sight of a cat-masked figure and sighs. 

Ah shit. 

He wonders if maybe he should introduce the brats to Tenzo. A twisted sense of delight fills him at the idea of letting Sasuke and Naruto terrorize Tenzo.

Maybe an overnight babysitting excursion with Kiba, Shikamaru and Choji.

“Nobody is going to be able to see him tonight, so go home and get some rest”

Kakashi sets his jaw. He can tell Anko is equally stubbornly going to not leave.

“These two need to get sleep,” Asuma says quietly, gesturing to Naruto and Sasuke, “and they’ll sleep better if they’re home”

Kakashi exhales. Asuma is right. 

“We’ll let you know if anything changes, I promise,” Asuma says

Kakashi glances at where Naruto has fallen asleep in his arms and Sasuke is swaying on his feet, small hand clenched in Kakashi’s pants.

As reluctant as he is to leave, he knows Iruka would rather him take the kids home and let them rest. He would probably say the hospital is no place for kids to stay at.

Sasuke stubbornly refuses to be picked up, but he clings to Kakashi’s pants in an attempt to stay upright as they leave the hospital.

“Senpai…”

Kakashi looks up to see Tenzo standing half-hidden in the shadows. Sasuke is staring at him with wide eyes, equally impressed and terrified.

“You tell me first, Tenzo,” Kakashi’s voice is dark, “anything changes. I don’t care what. You immediately come get me”

“I promise. He’ll be okay, senpai,” Tenzo says. “Doctor Hisako attended to him personally at the Sandaime’s request”

Kakashi nods in relief. Hisako Iemura is the best of the best in Konoha. Usually only called on to treat severe ANBU medical cases, or the Hokage and his family. Iruka is in good hands.

The trek back to the apartment ends with Kakashi carrying Sasuke after all. 

The two seven year olds are sound asleep against him and don’t even wake up when he opens the apartment door.

Naruto doesn’t let go of him and Kakashi resigns himself to the fact he’s going to spend the night in the kids’ room again.

He gets a sense of deja vu to Sasuke’s first nightmare.

It feels like so long ago but also yesterday and he wishes he could go back in time and kill Mizuki before he had a chance to hurt Iruka.

It wouldn’t have been hard. He could easily make it look like an accident. He knows Mizuki had been taken off missions A-rank and above after his questionable behavior, but shinobi died all the time on C-ranks. And who knows? Sometimes C-ranks are really just mislabeled A-ranks because the customer doesn’t want to pay for A-rank.

He doubts Iruka would approve of his plan.

Naruto whimpers in his sleep and Kakashi runs a hand through his spiky blonde hair until he settles.

Kakashi resolves himself to another sleepless night watching over the two kiddos who he would probably also kill for.

The depth of his feelings astounds him. In such a short while his entire existence had been fundamentally changed by one individual.

He squeezes the kids tighter and exhales.

He knows Iruka will be fine. But his mind keeps replaying over and over the image of Iruka laying facedown, chalky pallored and a giant hole in the middle of his back. Sometimes his horrible brain interposes Iruka’s face over Rin’s. The similar soft brown eyes widening in shock as Kakashi’s hand leaves behind the gaping hole.

He grips Sasuke and Naruto tightly, trying to ground himself from the memories and tricks of his mind.

Sasuke wakes up halfway through the night disoriented and calling out for his parents and his brother. Naruto’s sleep is fitful and interspersed by whimpers and waves of killing intent that put Kakashi on edge and had even drawn an ANBU to come investigate.

By the time the sun is streaming through the window, nobody has slept very well but they make their way back to the hospital.

It doesn’t look like anyone has slept very well.

Anko has dark circles beneath her eyes, hair haphazardly loose around her shoulders. The gate guard chunin are alternating dozing off on each others’ shoulders before startling awake.

By now they’ve been rejoined by Genma and Raido, who seem a little more alert. Asuma is back outside smoking and looking fine but the faint smudges beneath his eyes tell a different story. 

Kakashi is grateful for both his mask and his ability to stay awake for days at a time. 

At least he’s not chakra depleted.

Sasuke and Naruto have been silent all morning and Kakashi thinks they’re a little cranky as Naruto uncharacteristically snaps at Sasuke for touching him and Sasuke snarks back with more venom than usual that he wouldn’t want to touch him.

“Rough night?” Asuma asks, gesturing to the kids as he rises to his feet and puts out his cigarette.

“You?” Kakashi asks.

“No change,” he sighs, running a hand through his hair.

The doors to the hospital slide open and Tsume and Hana enter, trailed by Kiba. Kiba immediately bounds over to Naruto and Sasuke and begins questioning them rapid fire.

Kakashi is about to intervene when it looks like Sasuke is going to snap at the Inuzuka boy but Hana quickly intercedes.

“Have you boys eaten?” Hana asks, diffusing the tension in a way only the older sister of rambunctious boys can. The pair shake their heads. “Come on, let’s go get something. You can ride my ninken”

The boys look at Kakashi hesitantly.

“Go,” he says, “get something to eat. Iruka will be fine. If something changes, I’ll send Tenzo to come find you”

“Is he the ANBU?” Sasuke asks, stifling a yawn. Naruto widens his eyes.

“You know an ANBU?” Kiba blurts out.

“I bet he was ANBU,” Naruto points out.

“You’re not supposed to talk about these things,” Kakashi says sternly. The boys look sheepish before bowing. “Now go with Hana-chan and get something to eat. I’ll let you know if anything changes”

Hana lifts the boys up onto the backs of two of her three ninken. Kiba scrambles onto the third and the teenage chunin leads the kids out of the hospital.

“No change, I take it?” Tsume raises an eyebrow. Kakashi shakes his head. “Damn. What I wouldn’t give to get my fangs into that bastard who did this”

“You and half of Konoha apparently,” Kakashi muses, grateful that Iruka has so many people who care for him.

“I’m sure there wouldn’t be anything left after you’re done with him anyways,” Tsume grins a feral grin. “I’m glad Iruka-kun has someone like you around. Kid’s room nice for his own good”

Kakashi hums. He can’t exactly say he disagrees but he also doesn’t agree. If Iruka wasn’t so kind, he never would have easily accepted Kakashi into his life. Or Naruto. Or Sasuke. Or people like Anko and Ibiki. The people the rest of the village feared or shunned, Iruka was the one to open his heart.

He exhales a breath and prays that Iruka pulls through just fine.

Chapter Text

“…ngh”

“Iruka?” Kakashi says. 

“-kashi-?”

“I’m here,” he murmurs, “you’re okay”

“Where-?”

“Hospital,” Kakashi is shaking but he doesn’t know why, “go back to sleep, Iruka, I’ll be here when you wake”

“Mmkay. Luvya”

Kakashi freezes, heart fluttering in his chest.

Had Iruka really said what he thought he said?

The next time Iruka wakes up, he’s more alert. Kakashi had convinced Sasuke and Naruto to go with Anko. Staying in the hospital and staring at the unmoving body of their guardian was absolutely not healthy for two seven year olds. Sasuke already had enough nightmares.

“How are you feeling?” Kakashi asks, hand resting on the back of Iruka’s head.

“Like the Hokage Monument fell on me,” he groans. “What happened?”

“Mizuki attacked you during the exam. Put a fuma shuriken in your back”

“Of course he did,” Iruka groans. “What happened to him?”

“Ibiki got his hands on him”

“Oh”

“Gods, Iruka,” Kakashi exhales, “you have no idea how terrified I was when I heard”

“Sorry. How are the kids?”

“Shaken. Better when they realized you were going to be fine. Getting them to leave was almost impossible. They’re with Anko right now. Something about smothering them in dango and I think she promised to show them her biggest snake summons. Sasuke is gonna hate the dango part”

Iruka laughs before wincing. “…ow”

“You had a collapsed lung,” Kakashi says quietly. Iruka’s hand comes up to gently brush across his masked cheek.

“I upset you,” Iruka murmurs. Kakashi catches his hand and presses his forehead against it. 

“If anything had happened to you, I would have killed Mizuki myself, consequences be damned,” he knows Iruka can hear the anger he’s trying to control, “and I would make him suffer in the worst ways possible”

Iruka’s smile is sleepy. “I’m sorry”

“You have nothing to be sorry for,” Kakashi squeezes his hand. “Go to sleep, I’ll be here when you wake up”

“Sorry…” Iruka mumbles, eyes closing again.

Kakashi swears he’ll make sure Iruka has no reason to feel like he needs to apologize. He pulls down his mask and presses a soft kiss to Iruka’s temple. The hand in his tightens slightly and Iruka’s lips twitch up imperceptibly.

Naruto and Sasuke don’t last long with Anko and before long, they’re curled up in the other bed.

Asuma had been the one to bully the hospital staff into putting Iruka in a room with two beds, though Kakashi’s looming presence, Anko’s visible snake summons and the wide-eyed expressions on Naruto’s and Sasuke’s faces probably helped.

Kakashi sighs and stares out the window, Icha Icha hanging loosely from his fingertips. Night has fallen and the darkness leads to equally dark thoughts. 

He had nearly lost Iruka. Lost him before he even had him. Sure they had this nebulous relationship that was probably more intimate than friends, but nothing had been established. 

Kakashi is too familiar with losing his precious people. Iruka, of all people, should have been safe. He didn’t take missions above C-rank, and even then they were few and far between. Iruka was in training to be an Academy teacher. He should have been safe.

Would have been safe. 

Not for the first time does he want to break into T&I, and he knows that he can do it easily, and kill Mizuki slowly and painfully.

Kakashi imagines snapping each one of his bones starting from his fingers. Slowly bending them, crushing them until they couldn’t handle it anymore. He’d draw it out; one by one, until he broke all 206 bones. If Mizuki’s heart gave out, he’d use Raikiri to bring him back just so he could continue.

Or maybe he’d trap him in a genjutsu. The most painful genjutsu he can conjure up. That way Mizuki would suffer without the weakness of his body giving up. 

A nurse pokes her head in and narrows her eyes.

“Hatake-san. If you cannot keep your killing intent under control I will ask you to leave”

“Sorry,” Kakashi mutters, drawing it back. 

He glances at where Iruka hasn’t even stirred. Naruto is still asleep, but Sasuke must have been woken by the killing intent because he’s blinking sleepily.

“Go back to sleep,” Kakashi urges. Sasuke nods, bleary-eyed and closes his eyes.

Kakashi exhales. Iruka is fine. Iruka will be fine. He’ll be discharged. He looks at Iruka’s sleeping form, how a sliver of moonlight casts a crescent on his face.

Even the moonlight has the privilege of kissing beauty.

Be gentle, do not wake him up, he begs the light. Be gentle, be gentle to him, he prays to whoever can hear him. Whoever cares about the prayers of someone with a blackened soul.

Kakashi knows now, knows he can’t waste anymore time. He needs Iruka to know how he feels. If he had lost Iruka before he could tell him…

Kakashi exhales and wrestles with his killing intent.

He had pulled the Sandaime aside earlier and asked if he could be removed from the Active Duty Roster temporarily to take care of Iruka.

To his relief, the Sandaime had agreed provided that Kakashi take on a genin team. Kakashi had initially been reluctant, but when Sandaime had offered to make Iruka’s recovery a long-term assignment for Kakashi, he had agreed.

He could deal with snot-noses brats for Iruka. He would do anything for Iruka.

He watches Iruka sleep until the sun breaks through the curtain and falls on his face. Iruka stirs and Kakashi is immediately on alert.

“Mmh…where…?”

“Iruka!” Kakashi is on his feet. His call of his name woke up the boys.

“Ruka-nii!” Naruto and Sasuke tumble out of the bed, half-awake, and clamber clumsily and sleep-heavy into Iruka’s bed.

“Remember we talked about being gentle,” Kakashi says tiredly. 

“Dobe!” Sasuke bops him on the head, “that means don’t jump on him like that”

Iruka smiles gently. 

The medic-nin who has been primarily responsible for checking on Iruka enters the room. He looks disdainfully at the kids sitting on Iruka’s bed but a sharp look from Kakashi keeps him from commenting.

“You’ll be discharged at the end of the week,” he says as if it can’t come soon enough, “Hatake-san has his instructions. You will be very weak for a few months, try not to rush it or strain anything. You will make a full recovery, but it will take time”

Iruka looks relieved.

“Thank you,” he says, tightening his grip around Sasuke and Naruto, who have both started dozing off on either side of Iruka.

“No strenuous activities, no lifting anything heavier than twenty pounds for the first two months, then fifty for the next four, sleeping on your stomach is highly recommended, try to limit the amount you bend over, stretches and physical therapy will be assigned to you when you’re discharged. Should anything change in the way you feel, come back immediately. Spinal cord injuries are not to be taken lightly. You were lucky, Umino-san, don’t push it”

“Yes sir,” Iruka scratches his scar. “I’ll be careful”

“You don’t have to stay,” Iruka says softly once the doctor has left, “I don’t want to be burden…”

“You’re an idiot,” Kakashi says bluntly, “you’re an idiot if you think I’m leaving”

“Months, Kakashi,” Iruka tells him, “you’d be stuck babysitting me for months. I couldn’t make you do that”

“Even if it was years, I wouldn’t hesitate,” Kakashi says seriously, “Sandaime allowed me to treat this as a long-term mission”

“What?” Iruka blinks.

“Yup. So you’re not getting rid of me,” Kakashi says.

“Why?” 

Kakashi tugs down his mask, leans in, and kisses him softly, grateful the kids fell asleep.

“My man works fast!” 

Kakashi pulls back and yanks his mask up, Iruka’s jump wakes up Sasuke who glares at the source of the noise.

Genma is leaning in the doorway, grinning around his senbon.

“Heard from Anko you’re awake. She got assigned a mission otherwise she’d be here too,” he leers at Kakashi, “can’t even wait until he’s out of the hospital before you jump him, Hatake?” 

“Fuck off, Genma,” Kakashi says harshly, too tired and emotionally wrought to care about pretending to be unaffected. Iruka squeezes his hand.

“Sorry,” Genma holds his hands up, joking demeanor sliding away. “Seriously, Iruka, you have no idea how relieved we all are that you’re okay. Raido would be here too, but he’s on the same mission as Anko. They’ll probably be back in a couple of days and said they’d visit before you got discharged”

“Thank you, Genma-san,” Iruka smiles.

“The Wonder Twins will probably be here when their gate shift ends, so be warned. Kotetsu bawled his eyes out when he heard you woke up,” he chuckles, “I wouldn’t be surprised if Ibiki knows too, but you know how he is. Don’t do anything I would do,” Genma winks, “though I hear it’s fun in a hospital,” he says it obliquely enough the meaning flies over the kids’ heads, but Kakashi barely resists his snarl, “though I wouldn’t be surprised if they told you to avoid any strenuous activities”

“Leave. Genma.” Kakashi says, patience snapping. “Now”

Genma shakes his head. “Down boy,” he chuckles, “I’ll let you lovebirds get reacquainted,” he sobers for a moment, “I’m glad you’re okay, Iruka, if anything had happened to you…well, not even T&I could keep Mizuki from the combined wrath of the people who care about you. Ibiki would probably open the door himself”

Iruka’s blush is dark. “Genma…”

“See ya later,” he salutes before leaving the room. Kakashi feels the tension ease from his shoulders.

“He’s annoying,” Sasuke grumbles, nestling closer to Iruka and closing his eyes.

“He really is,” Kakashi sighs. Iruka laughs quietly. 

“He’s not so bad,” he sighs, “he gets more obnoxious when he’s worried. Raido settled him down a lot though”

“Still annoying”

Iruka’s smile is fond.

“You haven’t met Kotetsu and Izumo yet, have you?”

“Are they the gate guard chunin?” Iruka nods, “no I haven’t”

“Ko can be…a lot. He’s a little dramatic. If you want to leave…”

“I’m not going anywhere,” Kakashi says firmly, “I don’t care how many people show up”

Iruka’s smile is soft and he reaches up to gently tug Kakashi’s mask down, pulling him into a sweet kiss.

Kakashi hears the gate guards before he sees them.

Ah, that must be Kotetsu.

“RUKAAAA,” Kotetsu slumps against the bed, plopping on top of Naruto, who doesn’t even stir. Kakashi is impressed by how deeply the kid can sleep.

Sasuke, however, is glaring sleepily.

“Hey,” the one with a bandana, Izumo, says, pulling his spiky-haired companion, “be careful”

“Sorry,” Kotetsu sniffles. “How are you feeling?”

“Better than before,” Iruka smiles, “at least 

“You know how Zu is friends with that one proctor?” Kotetsu glances at his friend, “she said you passed. There will be an official announcement but she thought some good news might be nice”

“But…I didn’t finish the practical”

“You scored among the highest in the written exam, and she said the skills you showed leading up to the incident with Mizuki were acceptable for advancement”

“Congrats, Ru,” Izumo smiles, “you’re a teacher!”

“I-wow,” Iruka blinks, “I don’t know what to say”

“The plan was that when you passed, we’d go out and get you shitfaced, but ah…” Kotetsu gestures.

Iruka scratches at his scar.

“Guess that’ll have to wait” 

“We’ll just have to keep planning hard,” Kotetsu grins impishly, “who knows? By the time you’re better, we’ll just have a whole list of bars!”

Iruka laughs before wincing. Kakashi squeezes his hand.

“What-” Iruka looks down, “what happened with Mizuki?”

“Don’t tell me you still care about that asshole,” Kotetsu’s face darkens. Izumo sighs. 

“Not…I don’t know,” Iruka sighs, “I definitely don’t want to, but…he was part of my life for so long, I can’t help be curious”

“He’s at T&I right now. Will probably be going to the Strict Correctional Facility. Or at least, whatever’s left of him after Ibiki is done with him”

“Kotetsu!”

“Sorry! It’s the truth though”

Izumo sighs. “He’s being treated as a traitor, of course, he attacked a fellow shinobi, but…” he trails off. Izumo shoots a questioning look at Kakashi. 

“It’s fine, he knows…most of it, I guess, but…” Iruka glances down at Sasuke and Naruto.

“Ah, yeah,” Izumo says with a frown, “we’ll come back tomorrow. I think Anko is getting back soon too. She’ll want to know about it too”

“I’m pretty sure Ibiki will come ask me questions,” Iruka sighs. “I’ll fill him in, so it should be fine,” he tips his head at Kakashi. “Later,” Iruka mouths. Kakashi nods, wondering what Iruka means.

“Alright,” Izumo presses a kiss to Iruka’s temple. Kotetsu hugs him. Kakashi tries not to be jealous. “We’ll let you rest for now”

“Glad you’re okay, Ru,” Kotetsu says softly.

“Yeah, me too”

“They’re not so bad,” Kakashi muses. Iruka laughs.

“Izumo usually calms Kotetsu down a lot. You should see them drunk though, it’s so entertaining”

“Are they-?”

“Together? No. But yes,” Iruka scratches at his scar before absently scratching Sasuke’s scalp. The seven year old presses up into the touch like a cat. “They’re practically married except they don’t see it. They’ve lived together since we were teenagers, they’ve known each other since childhood, hell they even sleep in the same bed because their apartment is a one-bedroom. They do everything together. Everything,” Kakashi is amused by the exasperation in Iruka’s tone, “Izumo had a breakdown when Kotetsu was sent on a mission without him. They’re practically married and yet if you ask, they’ll say they’re just best friends”

“Could they be trying to hide it?”

“Not from me and Anko. They wouldn’t have any reason to. We’ve known each other way too long for that. Secrets aren’t a thing in our friendship, never have been. And the idiots have even seen other people. Hell, me and Izumo almost had a thing,” Kakashi remembers the kiss and tries harder to control his jealousy. Obviously nothing happened, “but realized if it went south, it would make things awkward”

“And they’re really not doing it to mess with you?”

“They’re not that good,” Iruka laughs. “I love them dearly, but they’re so dumb”

“You passed,” Kakashi remembers what Kotetsu had said. “How does it feel, sensei?”

“I almost can’t believe it,” Iruka huffs a quiet laugh. “I guess all the more incentive to work hard and get back to normal”

“Don’t push it,” Kakashi says, “remember, they said you could risk more damage trying to do too much too soon. You have an entire year”

“Yeah,” he sighs, leaning back, “it’s not going to be easy”

“No,” Kakashi reaches out to tuck a strand of hair behind his ear. “But we’ll get through it”

“You really don’t have to-”

“I want to,” he brushes a masked kiss to Iruka’s cheek.

Iruka’s smile is completely worth it. 

Chapter Text

Kakashi wakes up to the low drone of voices. He doesn’t sleep very well in hospitals, so he was only dozing in one of the chairs. Anko had taken the brats out for dango so Kakashi had a moment to sort of relax.

“…jealous. Could have been a lot worse,” he hears a gruff voice, “I always told you he was bad news”

“I know,” Iruka sounds defeated, “you were always right”

“Glad you’re acknowledging that now,” the gruff voice chuckles, “anyway, he’ll be moved to the Strict Correctional Facility this weekend”

“Everyone will yell at me for this,” Iruka exhales shakily, “but can I visit?” Kakashi clenches his jaw.

“No”

“I just want to hear it from him. I need to know…what happened to him. Why did he change?”

“I told you, Iruka, he fell under Orochimaru’s influence”

“Like Anko. So there’s a way to help him?”

“He wasn’t coerced like that”

“Why did he take all my friends…” Iruka sighs. “Anko, Sosuke, Mizuki…”

“I never told you this, but sometime around your fifteenth birthday, Orochimaru tried to go after you. I didn’t know what he wanted, I thought he wanted, well, your body but not in the way he did”

“I thought he was a pervert too”

“I told him if he so much as touched you, I’d cut his tongue out of his head and use it to scoop out his eyeballs”

“Ooh, I like that one”

“Thought you would,” a chuckle. Kakashi belatedly realizes it’s Ibiki. “Mizuki was a perfect target though; disillusioned by the village, power hungry, manipulative. He killed his teammate over a non-life threatening injury even before Orochimaru. A good person doesn’t do that”

“I guess you’re right…”

“I can understand wanting to get closure. And if I thought it would help I would let you. But there really isn’t anything he could say that would help”

“How’s Tsubaki?”

“Handling it. She’s a strong woman”

Iruka sighs quietly. Kakashi hears Ibiki shift. “You and Hatake”

“I don’t know,” Iruka says quietly, “I would have said yes, but, like this…I’m going to be nothing but a burden on him. How long would that last? He’d be playing nursemaid for me for who knows how long. What kind of relationship is that?”

Ibiki snorts. “You’re an idiot, brat,” Ibiki huffs. Kakashi hears the cracking of joints as Ibiki stands. “He’s been here every day. If there’s one thing I know about Hatake it’s that if he doesn’t want to do something he won’t. Now get some rest. I’ll probably need to come back and get an official statement later when you’re up for it”

“Okay,” Iruka sounds tired, “thanks for coming, Biki”

Another snort. “You’re still a pain in the ass, you know that?” the words are harsh but the tone is fond and Kakashi hears what is presumably the ruffling of hair. “Maybe I’ll get some peace and quiet with you recuperating”

“Wanna bet?” Iruka’s voice takes on a teasing quality.

“Not on your life, brat. Now go the fuck to sleep”

Kakashi is quiet as the door slides shut.

“I know you’re awake,” Iruka’s voice is laced with fond amusement, “Biki is gone now”

“What was that about?” Kakashi asks, not even trying to lie.

“Ibiki was telling me what he found from Mizuki,” Iruka sighs, “he was jealous of me. Not just jealous because he wanted me, but jealous because of the attention I received”

“You wanted to visit him”

Iruka looks guilty. “I just wanted to know why”

“Sometimes there isn’t a why,” Kakashi tugs down his mask and kisses Iruka’s fingers. “Sometimes people are just a certain way,” Iruka nods, lost in thought. Kakashi sighs. “And what you said, about being a burden…”

“You heard?” Iruka flushes. 

“I heard. And I want you to know you’re wrong,” Kakashi turns Iruka’s hand palm up and presses a kiss to the center of it. “You’re going to have to do a lot worse than a shuriken to the spine to get rid of me. You’re mine and I don’t let go of my precious people”

Something softens in Iruka’s face and he reaches up to pull Kakashi in for a gentle kiss.

The moment is interrupted when the door opens and two bundles of bright orange and dark blue enter the room followed by Anko, Asuma, and a medic nin. 

Anko is grinning.

“I have some good news for you, Umino-san,” the doctor says, holding out a clipboard, “you can be released today provided Hatake-san stays with you until you are recovered”

Kakashi listens intently to the medic nin talk about the physical therapy appointments and the restrictions, what is and isn’t allowed and what his own responsibilities are as caretaker.

“I think this is the first time I’ve seen Kakashi ever listen to a medic nin,” Asuma snickers to Anko. Anko grins ferally. Kakashi ignores them.

“Do you need help?” Asuma asks seriously, once the medic nin has left. Iruka shakes his head. 

“We’ve got it,” he smiles up at the pair, “you guys go. Don’t you have missions to get ready for?”

“We worry about you, Ru,” Anko frowns, “I’m just glad Hatake is here to make sure you don’t do anything stupid”

Iruka shakes his head, casting a fond glance in Kakashi’s direction. 

After making Iruka, and Kakashi, promise to take it easy and with their own promises to check in when they got back from their missions, Anko and Asuma leave.

“Ready to go home?” Kakashi asks, holding out a hand. 

“More than you know,” Iruka exhales in relief as he swings his legs over the side of the bed gingerly.

Kakashi knows he’s in pain considering Iruka is gripping his hand tight enough to hurt, knuckles white but expression calm. Sasuke looks worried for a brief moment and Naruto is hovering like a bright orange bumblebee.

Kakashi carefully loops his arm around Iruka’s shoulder, making sure not to stretch the healing skin of his back as he guides him out of the hospital.

The two boys trail after them. Halfway down the hall Naruto’s small arm wraps around Iruka’s waist as he determinedly attempts to help hold him upright with all the strength a scrawny seven year old boy can muster. 

Which isn’t much.

This pace is not going to be sustainable, Kakashi decides. He grabs a nearby wheelchair, plops Iruka in it, drops Naruto on his lap and scoops Sasuke onto his shoulders before performing a teleportation jutsu.

“Kakashi!” Iruka chides through the smoke once they’ve landed in Iruka’s townhome, “you can’t just expend your chakra recklessly like that!”

“It’s worth it,” Kakashi says. Iruka sighs as he allows Kakashi to help him up, teeth clenched in pain but clearly unwilling to show weakness in front of the kids. “Naruto, Sasuke, go get ready for bed, alright? I’ve got Iruka”

Naruto looks about to argue but a tug from Sasuke gets him leaving down the hall. Kakashi is grateful the Uchiha kid is so perceptive but also subtle.

Iruka practically collapses on top of him with a quiet groan of pain and relief and Kakashi carefully guides him down the hall to what he has started referring to as “their” room.

“How are you holding up?” Kakashi asks, sitting on the edge of the bed once he’s gotten Iruka all settled in. Iruka stares at his hands before shrugging.

“I don’t know,” Iruka murmurs. “It’s all sinking in…that Mizuki…” his breath hitches and Kakashi wraps his arms gently around Iruka, carefully pulling him down onto the mattress. He holds the younger man as Iruka silently cries into his shoulder. 

Kakashi didn’t even realize he had fallen asleep until he is woken up by movement. He glances down to see a blonde head of hair followed by dark crawling into the bed. Iruka murmurs something and Kakashi shifts to accommodate two small bodies before falling back to sleep.

Chapter Text

The next time Kakashi wakes up it’s daylight.

Iruka is laying on his stomach. Sasuke is nestled between Kakashi and Iruka and Naruto is sprawled on Iruka’s other side, small fist clutching Iruka’s shirt, pressed tightly against his side like a baby koala.

The bed is a little small for this, Kakashi decides, shifting so that he’s not in danger of falling off. He glances at where his own arm had migrated around the tiny Uchiha, who’s face is pressed against Iruka’s shoulder. He absently smooths down the tuft of hair sticking up before reaching out to send a thin, imperceptible pulse of his chakra through Iruka’s body to make sure he’s alive and well. 

Both Sasuke and Naruto look like they could use the sleep. They’re far too young to have such prominent dark circles beneath their eyes like this.

Kakashi closes his eyes again, not really sleeping just basking in the feeling of family that washes over him. 

Sasuke is the first to stir, dark eyes blinking open and blearily staring at the arm around him. Clearly he assumes Kakashi is asleep, because he nestles closer, small hand coming up to hold onto Kakashi’s wrist.

Kakashi makes a show of shifting like he’s about to wake up and Sasuke quickly tugs his arm off of him and sits up.

“Morning kiddo,” Kakashi says, pretending like he hasn’t been awake. He holds a finger to his lips and gestures to the door. Sasuke nods, following Kakashi out of the bedroom.

Several minutes later, an equally bleary-eyed Naruto comes stumbling out.

“Kaka-nii,” he yawns, “Ruka-nii won’t wake up”

Kakashi quashes the brief flicker of fear, reminding himself that he checked.

“It’s okay,” Kakashi ruffles his messy hair, “the hospital gave him some very strong medicine”

“Are you sure?” Naruto looks anxious. 

“I made sure this morning,” Kakashi confirms, “I checked his chakra”

That seems to ease some of the worry from the kid’s mind because he sits next to Sasuke and drops his head on the table.

Kakashi realizes someone had gone ahead and completely stocked Iruka’s fridge at some point. The alphabet magnets proclaiming THIC DIK makes Kakashi assume it was Anko. Or Genma. 

He shuffles the letters away before the kids can see and digs out ingredients for oyakodon. Sasuke has taken to trying to learn how to cook and moments later, the seven year old is standing on a step stool next to Kakashi and cracking eggs into a bowl.

Naruto’s skill in the kitchen is on par with Iruka’s and after the kid once nearly sliced off a finger trying to help and almost burned his hand, Kakashi had decided that maybe it would be better to give him the easy tasks. 

Usually he’s more than happy to not have to do anything in the kitchen, but his constant worried glances at the bedroom as more time passes and Iruka still hasn’t woken up makes Kakashi think the kid needs a distraction so he tasks him with mixing the dashi broth with ingredients pre-measured by Kakashi. 

Before long, four steaming bowls of oyakodon are sitting on the counter and Naruto has taken to jittering anxiously in place, gaze locked on the bedroom.

“How about we go check on Iruka?” Kakashi asks. Naruto practically runs into the bedroom followed more sedately by Kakashi and Sasuke.

Iruka is still facedown, Naruto sitting anxiously on the bed.

“Do you know how to check someone’s pulse?” Kakashi asks the kids. They shake their heads and Kakashi holds out his own wrist. “One of the ways is to place two fingers on the wrist pulse point,” he demonstrates, “first Naruto, you try. Hold two fingers where mine are”

The tiny fingers press hesitantly against Kakashi’s wrist and Kakashi shifts them slightly. Blue eyes widen in shock.

“I can feel your heartbeat Kaka-nii!”

“Sasuke, you try”

Sasuke finds his pulse point easily and blinks before holding his fingers to his own wrist. 

Kakashi gently flips Iruka’s hand, taking Naruto’s hand in his own. 

“Can you find Iruka’s pulse?” 

Determination flashes across whiskered features and Naruto carefully presses against Iruka’s wrist.

“His is a lot slower than yours,” Naruto frets, looking up at Kakashi.

“Because he’s asleep,” Kakashi explains, “our heartbeat slows down when we go to sleep. But you can feel a pulse, right?” Naruto nods, “that’s because he’s alive”

Naruto lays down on the bed, small fingers pressed against the inside of Iruka’s wrist.

“I’m going to stay here until he wakes up,” Naruto declares. Kakashi sighs. He really should get Naruto to eat something, but he also knows how traumatized the kid is.

Sasuke looks at Kakashi with wide eyes. 

“Why don’t you come help me clean up the kitchen,” he gestures to the Uchiha, “we can come check on Iruka again after”

Sasuke nods, following Kakashi out of the room.

“Is he really okay?” Sasuke asks quietly, worry flitting across his features.

“He’s really okay,” Kakashi confirms, “he just needs to sleep because his body is recovering”

Sasuke nods, looking mollified by his answer.

The next time Kakashi goes to check, Naruto is asleep, fingers still resting against Iruka’s pulse point.

It is getting rather late in the day though.

“Iruka,” Kakashi gently runs his fingers through the dark hair, “Iruka, you should wake up and eat something”

“Hmm?” Iruka stirs slightly, wincing as he moves. “Wha-? What time…?”

“It’s after noon,” Kakashi says. Iruka glances over at where Naruto is sacked, fingers still against Iruka’s wrist, “he fell asleep checking your pulse to make sure you stayed alive”

Iruka groans quietly.

“I traumatized them, didn’t I?”

“Not you,” Kakashi shakes his head, “it’s not your fault. Come on, we made oyakodon”

“We?”

“Sasuke and Naruto helped”

“And my kitchen is still in one piece?” Iruka huffs a quiet laugh, shifting to try and sit up. He bites back a cry of pain and Kakashi is immediately helping him to a sitting position.

Blue eyes open.

“Ruka-nii,” Naruto gasps. Kakashi is both proud and impressed by Naruto’s restraint in not throwing himself at his guardian. “You’re alive”

“I’m alive,” Iruka gingerly lifts an arm to rest on Naruto’s head, “you think I’d really leave you so easily?”

Naruto goes quiet, clinging to Iruka’s arm. 

“You can’t help it if you die,” he whispers. Pain flashes across Iruka’s face. 

“I’m fine, Naruto,” Iruka says gently. Kakashi hadn’t even known Sasuke had followed him until the other kid is crawling into the bed on Iruka’s other side. “I’m going to be a little slow for a while, but I’m not going to die. I promise”

“I’m going to become the strongest Hokage ever,” Naruto declares, “so I can protect you. And I guess teme too…”

“Not me?” Kakashi asks, mock-hurt. Naruto gives him a flat stare.

“Kaka-nii can kick anyone’s ass,” Naruto declares.

“Who taught you that?” Iruka groans.

“Genma-baka,” Naruto says, “he said Kaka-nii can kick anyone’s ass if they try to hurt us”

“Genma,” Iruka exhales in exasperation. “I’m going to kick his for teaching you that”

Kakashi laughs.

“Come on, think you can make it to the kitchen or do you want help?”

“I’ll help!” Naruto scrambles off the bed. Iruka exchanges a glance with Kakashi, who carefully helps him to his feet. Naruto is immediately beneath Iruka’s arm, doing his absolute best to support him to the kitchen. Iruka leans against Kakashi, who subtly takes most of his weight.

“You did a good job Naruto,” Iruka praises. The blonde puffs up in pride before rushing to the counter and coming back with a bowl of oyakodon. 

Kakashi watches in amusement as Naruto attempts to feed Iruka, who gently sends him off to eat his own food. 

“I think you’ll have to get used to this,” Kakashi murmurs and Iruka gives him a look. Sasuke is watching Iruka carefully and Kakashi knows his silent observation is his own way of caretaking.

He suspects if he doesn’t shoo the pair away, they’ll insist on following Iruka into the shower so he sends the kids out to pick up ramen, knowing that they’ll probably get distracted on the way there or the way back. He summons Pakkun to follow them as well, just to make sure.

“I need a shower,” Iruka grimaces.

“Let me help you,” Kakashi says, carefully guiding Iruka into the bathroom and even more carefully tries not to stare at Iruka’s naked form as he undresses, but it’s taking all his willpower. He turns the water on to distract himself.

“Can you-?” Iruka gestures to the bandage around his torso and any inappropriate thoughts Kakashi had had fly right out of his head at the sobering realization that he nearly lost him.

He gently unwraps the bandages and grimaces at the large wound.

“How bad is it?” Iruka asks.

“You’ll probably have a pretty cool looking scar,” Kakashi says, trailing his fingers across Iruka’s broad shoulders. “The muscle around it will probably get sore. If you can get past the flowery speeches about youth, Gai gives really great massages”

“I’ve lived with Naruto for years and deal with pre-genin daily,” Iruka snorts, “I’ve gotten pretty good at blocking things out”

Kakashi chuckles as he takes off his own shirt and tests that the water is warm before helping Iruka into the shower.

As much as seeing Iruka wet, hair darkened to black and clinging to his broad shoulders, is distracting as hell, Kakashi shifts to a mission mindset as he helps Iruka wash and stores the idea of shower sex away in the back of his mind to poke at later.

Unfortunately the shower seemed to have sapped most of Iruka’s energy because he sinks onto the couch with a groan and closes his eyes.

“What do you think about moving into a bigger place?” Iruka asks while they’re laying on the couch. Kakashi is half-reading a historical novel and Iruka is dozing against his chest. Naruto and Sasuke are still not back which is almost a good thing.

“Hm?”

“Well,” he scratches his scar, “I’m going to need help for awhile, and Sasuke and Naruto are clearly here to stay…” he trails off, “this place isn’t really meant for four people so I was thinking…maybe we should try to find somewhere bigger. Eventually, Sasuke and Naruto will need their own spaces, even if they don’t sleep there at least they’d have somewhere private”

“You,” Kakashi scrubs the back of his head, “are you asking to move in together?” he feels irrationally nervous over whether he’s misunderstanding. He doesn’t want to be. 

“Only, only if you want,” Iruka blushes.

Kakashi twines their fingers together and kisses the back of Iruka’s hand.

“Of course I would,” he murmurs. Iruka smiles at him, nestling closer, and Kakashi’s heart feels like it’s about to explode from his chest.

“We’re gonna have to tell the kids when they get back,” Iruka yawns. Kakashi runs his fingers through Iruka’s hair. “I hope Sasuke won’t think we’re trying to make any decisions for him…”

“I don’t think that’s going to be a problem,” Kakashi says, thinking back to all the times Sasuke’s posture has sunk with relief at being given permission to stay. Kakashi thinks back to his own childhood and wonders if someone, someone kind and parental like Kohari, had offered to have him live with them, would he be a different person?

Iruka is gently tracing the bridge of his nose up to his eyebrow and back down, an expression of immeasurable fondness in his dark eyes.

“What?” Kakashi huffs a quiet laugh. 

“Just thinking,” Iruka smiles a little crooked but soft, “how even though I have a giant hole in my back and one of my oldest friends tried to kill me, I wouldn’t change any of it because it led to this moment right here with you”

Kakashi knows he’s blushing at Iruka’s words, but he can’t help it. He doesn’t think anyone has ever said such soft things to him, about him. 

“I’d change the whole, you getting hurt part,” Kakashi says, setting his book down and wrapping his arms around Iruka’s waist. “I’d kill Mizuki before he even had a chance. Maybe even back when we were younger”

Iruka shakes his head, an expression of fond exasperation on his face.

“You know, I wish you had never left that night,” Iruka sighs, “I wish you had stayed a bit longer, or that you had come back”

Kakashi feels guilt course through him and he sighs. “I know. I didn’t…I was in a very bad place,” he cards his fingers through Iruka’s hair. “I was scared that I would hurt you, everyone close to me got hurt or died, so I knew I couldn’t get close. But,” Kakashi exhales and stares at the ceiling. He doesn’t think Iruka will judge him for this but he doesn’t know. “I never stopped watching you. Even back then, you were an anchor, my safety net. I’d come back from horrible missions and the first thing I would do was go find you, reassure myself that you were still happy and alive and safe and that whatever I had just done, the people I had just killed, meant that you would stay that way,” he tightens his grip around Iruka, “sometimes it was the only bright spot in my life, knowing you were safe, the memory of that night”

“Kakashi,” Iruka’s voice is an awed whisper and Kakashi chances a glance. Iruka’s brown eyes are swimming with emotions, emotions ranging from sorrow to an affection that shocks Kakashi with it’s intensity.

Unsure what to do when faced with such an expression directed at him he kisses Iruka.

The boys eventually return, ramen forgotten, and Iruka directs them to sit down. 

Confusion flits across Naruto’s expressive face as he sits on the couch next to Sasuke, who looks bored aside from the curiosity in his liquid dark eyes.

“So,” Iruka fidgets, “I know we haven’t exactly talked about living situations”

Sasuke tenses up. Naruto blinks.

“We live here though, don’t we?”

“Well, this apartment isn’t exactly big enough for four people,” Iruka scratches his scar, “so, Kakashi and I were talking and we thought maybe we could find somewhere a little bit bigger”

“What?” Sasuke is staring with wide-eyed disbelief. 

“Ah, Sasuke-kun, the decision is entirely yours, I don’t want to force you into a situation you’re not comfortable with, but if you want…we’d be more than happy to have you live with us”

“Us?” Sasuke looks small and vulnerable and unsure.

“Me, Kakashi-san and Naruto”

“You really mean it?” Sasuke stares at them in disbelief and Kakashi wants so badly to hug the kid.

“Of course,” Iruka smiles, warm and reassuring, “we’d love it if you did, but we’d also understand if you didn’t want to”

“What?” Naruto squawks, “why wouldn’t teme live with us? He’s part of the family now”

“What?” Sasuke chokes.

“Yeah! Ruka-nii said we’re a family. At first it was just us and Anko-neechan and sometimes Biki-niisan. But then Kaka-nii joined our family and then you did. Ruka-nii said none of us had any family, so we have to be each other’s family so no one is alone”

Sasuke looks at Kakashi and Iruka with large eyes.

“Do…do you really mean it?”

Iruka scratches his scar. “Only if you want to be,” he smiles reassuringly, “but, we would be more than happy to have you. Like Naruto said, none of us have any family, but people aren’t meant to be alone. So we created our own. It’s a little weird, maybe a little dysfunctional, but it’s still a family. And both you and Kakashi-san are welcome to be part of it”

“I’d like that,” Kakashi says quietly. Iruka reaches for his hand and laces their fingers together. 

“I could live with you forever?” Sasuke asks quietly. Iruka’s expression softens.

“If that’s what you want. The decision is entirely yours, Sasuke-kun”

“Ok”

Naruto’s cheer almost deafens them and Iruka sighs.

The kids don’t even go to their own room that night, instead the four of them end up having to figure out how to fit in one bed.

“I think this is going to be a thing,” Iruka sighs, looking at the sleeping pair. 

“Probably,” Kakashi agrees but he can’t help the smile crossing his face as Sasuke burrows closer into his side, small hand curling against his shirt, and Naruto lets out a snore loud enough to wake the dead, legs sprawled across Sasuke and Iruka and one hand tangled in Sasuke’s hair. 

He exchanges a fond glance with Iruka over the pair of fluffy heads as he settles in and closes his eyes.

He wishes eight year old Kakashi, sitting at the Umino’s dinner table with the scent of broiled saury, Kohari’s warm laugh and Iruka’s incessant chatter wrapping around him like a warm blanket that looked an awful lot like family, had known that one day he’d find his own.

Chapter Text

“You’ll want something close to the Academy”

“Stay away from the east block though, the fish market is over there”

Kakashi looks up from where he’s perched in the tree. Iruka is surrounded by Anko, Asuma and Kurenai poring over the housing page of the daily news. 

Iruka had graduated to being able to take short walks with frequent breaks. Today was Asuma’s turn apparently, but Kakashi followed in the trees just to make sure Iruka was okay. They had stopped on a park bench and were joined shortly by Anko and Kurenai.

“A yard would probably be good too,” Asuma hums, “the kids and their friends can run around and Kakashi’s ninken too”

“The north civilian area is pretty nice,” Anko points out, “if you can deal with civilians. And shinobi tend to get discounted prices because they make civilians feel safe”

Kakashi doesn’t mention that price isn’t a concern. It’s something that him and Iruka have had many whispered arguments over. Kakashi is insistent on paying the most, because Iruka refuses to let him buy it entirely. He has years of jonin and ANBU level mission pay stored up and since he previously lived exclusively in the jonin dorms his rent was incredibly low and that’s not even taking into account the Hatake family money. Kakashi has more money than he knows what to do with considering his biggest expense over the years has been Icha Icha and occasionally new gear. He could buy three houses and would barely put a dent in his funds.

But Iruka is stubborn and wants to split the payment.

They’ve narrowed down what they’re looking for in a house: three to four bedrooms, a big backyard, few windows, no trees. 

Unfortunately, Kakashi was informed by a rather reluctant Sandaime that he was needed back in the field. Iruka’s friends had quickly stepped up and created a rotating schedule of people who would help.

Iruka’s condition had improved significantly, to the point he no longer needed help to move around. The only time he really needed help is after his physical therapy appointments and in dealing with Naruto and Sasuke who slowly began returning to their usual selves.

It’s on his way back from a mission passing through the northern civilian area when he spies an open house and makes a detour.

The house itself is traditional Japanese architecture but the inside has a decidedly western flair. It has four bedrooms and four bathrooms. The living room is open and spacious, separated from the kitchen and dining room area by only a low wall which means there are very few places an intruder could hide. Most of the windows are set up high and unable to be opened aside from one by the door and a smaller one in the kitchen that a normal-sized shinobi would probably struggle to climb through. There’s also a window in the master bedroom which Kakashi sort of likes and is easy enough to secure. The sliding back door is also easy to ward and leads out into a large grassy backyard with a covered wood patio and no trees but a lovely rock feature.

For a civilian area, the house itself is surprisingly shinobi friendly and Kakashi immediately knows he needs to buy it. He’s able to wrangle a pretty sizeable discount from the starstruck civilian realtor using the charming personality he can put on that allows him to be so successful when it comes to infiltration and seduction missions.

When he pulls out the full payment in cash, the realtor looks stunned.

He’s anxious about what Iruka will say, with Kakashi having gone behind his back like this. He knows Iruka will like the house, but the fact that Kakashi paid for it is something he hopes he can make Iruka understand.

A day later and he’s showing Iruka around the house.

He knows Iruka is in love with it the moment he sees rock feature and the way warm light oozes through the unopenable windows.

Kakashi is just anxious about Iruka finding out he already bought it.

“It’s beautiful,” Iruka murmurs, “isn’t it a bit outside our price point though?”

“It’s a civilian area so it’s a pretty big discount,” Kakashi half-lies. Iruka eyes him suspiciously. “Okay, look, I know we’ve had this discussion…”

“Kakashi-”

“No, listen, please?” Iruka falls silent at that, “I’ve never had this before,” Kakashi admits, “I’ve never thought I would have this before. I know you don’t want me to be responsible for the cost, but I want to. Aside from the fact that I spent months practically living at your house without paying rent,” Kakashi exhales, “the last time I lived anywhere but the jonin barracks was the Hatake compound and those aren’t good memories. Like this, it’s a chance to start over and do something right for once. I’ve never…I’ve never had anyone to take care of before,” he says, almost imperceptibly, “so please let me do this” 

Iruka is silent before bowing his head. He sighs.

“…alright,” he says quietly, “I won’t argue anymore”

Internally Kakashi does a happy dance. “How about this then,” Kakashi takes his hands, “you can handle utilities”

That seems to make Iruka more comfortable with the idea and Kakashi counts it as a big win. 

“As much as I want to carry you over the threshold, it would put pressure on your back”

Iruka’s face is burgundy at Kakashi’s words.

“Where did that thought even come from?”

“It’s something they did in Icha Icha,” Kakashi rubs the back of his neck, “when the main couple moved in together”

Iruka’s expression is fondly incredulous.

“I love you,” Iruka blurts out before looking embarrassed. Kakashi feels ridiculously giddy as he takes Iruka’s hands in his own.

“I love you too,” he says quietly, tugging down his mask and kissing Iruka softly. He wraps his arms around the smaller man and teleports them inside instead.

That evening, they track down the kiddos; blindfolding them and holding their hands as they wander to the house.

“Three,” Iruka sends Kakashi a look.

“Two,” Kakashi grins back.

“One!” they tug off the blindfolds.

The boys gasp. Naruto runs around the house full bore. Sasuke glances at them for a moment before and encouraging smile urges him on.

Kakashi loops his fingers through Iruka’s, a warmly contented tingling beginning low in the base of his skull.

“Can I decorate my room?” Naruto is practically buzzing with excitement. Even Sasuke looks happier than usual. 

“However you want,” Iruka laughs, “this is your home”

Kakashi is caught by surprise when Sasuke silently wraps his arms around both of them. Naruto screeches something about a group hug and joins in. Iruka is laughing as he bends slightly to return the embrace, dragging Kakashi with him.

As he tentatively wraps his own arms around the other three, the intense feeling of family washes through him again. A part of him doesn’t think he deserves this, this contentment, this happiness.

But the soft expression in Iruka’s warm brown eyes, Naruto’s excited chattering about what he’s going to do to his room and Sasuke’s quiet contentment silences that voice.

When they’re alone he pulls Iruka into a kiss, hoping he can convey everything he’s feeling but lacking the right words.

Iruka’s gaze when they pull apart tells him everything he needs to know.

Again, Kakashi briefly remembers the chunin who gave all his effort into surviving the mission despite being outnumbered and overpowered just so he could return to his family and realizes he understands now more than he ever had before.

They may be somewhat unconventional with a lot of trauma and a little dysfunctional but they’re family, his family, and he thinks that he would be able to survive a solo S-rank facing down fifteen S-class enemies at once just to make it home again.

He thinks Minato-sensei and Kushina-sama would be proud. And happy that their son would have a family, no matter how odd and makeshift it is.

“Come on,” Iruka takes Kakashi’s hand in his, “let’s go see which rooms they’ve picked out”

Kakashi squeezes Iruka’s hand and smiles to himself as the younger man leads him down the hallway. 

It doesn’t matter what his next mission is because now he has something to come back to.

Chapter Text

Kakashi is a little overwhelmed by all the people. 

Once word got out that they had settled on a house, their friends had picked a night to show up en masse with large quantities of food and booze.

Naruto, Sasuke, Kiba, Shikamaru and Choji are playing in the yard. 

Tsume is laughing uproariously at something Asuma had said, Kurenai hiding her own laughter behind her hand.

Iruka’s teacher friends are clustered in a corner chatting happily amongst themselves.

Gai’s booming voice can be heard telling Tenzo all about his latest workout. 

There’s even people that Kakashi is stunned know Iruka. Apparently Gekko Hayate had been on Ibiki’s genin team and had been close with Iruka because he’s standing around with Uzuki Yugao, Genma and Raido.

Even the Sandaime is sitting on the couch talking with Ibiki, Shikaku and Yoshino.

He’s dodged several conversations mostly trying to pry into his new domestic existence.

Kakashi glances around to find Iruka talking with Anko, Kotetsu and Izumo. Iruka meets his gaze and Kakashi tugs his earlobe, their signal that Kakashi is getting overwhelmed and needs to escape.

Iruka blinks once in response and Kakashi quietly slips down the hall and into their bedroom. Kakashi closes the door and exhales in relief at the silence.

“You good?” Iruka asks gently when he joins him a few minutes later.

“Just…it’s a lot of people,” Kakashi admits, “I’m not very good at that”

“How can I help?”

“I think I’ll just stay in here a bit,” Kakashi admits, “is that okay?”

“Of course it is,” Iruka kisses his cheek. “If you decide you want to rejoin the party you can stay with me and not have to talk to anyone”

Kakashi pulls down his mask to kiss Iruka properly before the younger male leaves to rejoin the party. Iruka is a social butterfly and Kakashi doesn’t begrudge him wanting to be around everyone.

He hops out the bedroom window and wanders into the backyard to spy on the kids,

All five of them are laying sprawled on the grass, staring at the sky.

“-a duck!” Kiba says.

“No way,” Sasuke responds, “it’s a turtle”

“A potato chip?” Choji asks.

“You always think these things are food,” Shikamaru complains, “even when it’s clouds”

“Do you think the moon ever gets lonely?” Naruto asks. The other boys fall silent. “Or is it happy because there’s lots of stars surrounding it?”

“The moon doesn’t have feelings, dobe. It’s just a moon”

“How do you know, teme? It could!”

Kakashi looks up at the sky from where he’s leaning against the side of the house. 

The moon really is bright. He remembers comparing Naruto and Sasuke to the moon and the sun what feels like years ago.

“Do you think the moon and sun could be friends?” Choji asks.

“I think so,” Naruto says.

“My sister says they’re star-crossed lovers,” Kiba says in a tone that makes Kakashi think he’s crinkling his nose, “I dunno what that means though”

Shikamaru snorts softly. “Sasuke’s right. It’s just a moon,” he drawls out.

Kakashi shakes his head, feeling a small smile creep across his face at their odd little friendships. He’s glad Naruto, and even Sasuke, have found people that they can call friends.

Friends. Kakashi glances at the moon again. He had never really considered the possibility. But he had also never considered the possibility of having a family before. Would it really be so bad to have friends too? Could he have friends? The nickname Friend Killer floats mockingly through his head and he mentally recoils from the idea of friendship.

Iruka’s laughing face floats through his mind, pushing the nickname away.

That thought urges Kakashi to rejoin the party, quietly slipping up to Iruka’s side and leaning against the counter slightly behind him, like Iruka is a shield.

His friends don’t even bat an eyelash except to greet him. Kotetsu continues his story with large gestures and exaggerated faces. 

“Ooh! I have one,” Anko snickers, “Kakashi will probably like to hear a story about when me and Iruka were kids and Iruka decided he wanted to skip class but the teacher had his desk boobytrapped”

“Anko, no,” Iruka whines, but his laughter gives him away.

“Maa,” Kakashi grins, “I want to hear this one”

“Anyways, Ru couldn’t get up from his seat otherwise chakra wire would wrap around him and trap him in it. Halfway through the lecture he stands up and sure enough, the trap goes off and Iruka just disappears. He’d been a clone from the beginning!”

Iruka groans, hiding his face. “You’re going to ruin my reputation”

“When he said he wanted to be a teacher, we thought he was joking,” Kotetsu says, laughing. “I remember a time when-”

“Do I have to remind you of when you fell into that bog because you were staring at Shimo-sensei’s ass?” Iruka fires back.

Kotetsu squawks and his face turns red. He casts a sideways glance at Izumo.

“To be fair,” Anko interjects, “Shimo-sensei had a really nice ass”

“Like two globes,” Iruka confirms, “I’m pretty sure people wrote haikus about it”

Kakashi stifles his laughter. He spends most of the rest of the night by Iruka’s side listening to stories about his apparently miscreant youth. The warmth radiating from Iruka’s back is grounding.

Eventually the group dwindles down to Gai, Tenzo, Kurenai, Asuma, Anko, Kotetsu and Izumo and it’s a lot more tolerable. 

The boys had stumbled in and collapsed in a sleeping heap in Naruto’s room. Iruka had assured the parents that they could stay the night and Kakashi didn’t miss the relief on the parents’ faces.

They’re sitting in the living room trading stories about their childhoods and it becomes apparent that Asuma, Anko, Kotetsu, Izumo and Iruka have some heavy ammunition against each other.

“I remember when Kakashi was a kid,” Gai chuckles, “he-”

“Acorn,” Kakashi says. Gai’s cheeks turn pink and he falls silent.

The shocked laughter from everyone at Gai’s sudden silence makes Kakashi grin beneath his mask. 

“I have one about Asuma,” Iruka grins wickedly. Asuma glares. Kakashi leans a little more into Iruka’s space as he listens to Iruka talk about Asuma’s awkward teenager years.

Maybe spending time around people isn’t so bad, Kakashi decides. He catches Gai’s gaze over the top of Iruka’s head.

The Green Beast looks happy as he regards Kakashi, a strange contentment on his face.

As he’s bidding him and Tenzo goodbye, a heavy hand clamps on his shoulder.

“I’m glad,” Gai says in a normal volume which means he’s being serious, “I’m glad that you have found a precious person like Iruka-san”

“You look happy senpai,” Tenzo adds.

Kakashi looks up at the sky again.

“You know what?” he says, “I am”

Chapter Text

Everything went wrong. The mission went horribly. A four-man squad and only Kakashi had returned mostly uninjured. Two had died and one, their medic, was in critical condition at the hospital.

Kakashi had fled before the medic-nins could get a hold of him.

He hasn’t slept in three days, not since the ambush that killed his two teammates before he could catch it.

The teammate who was on watch had fallen asleep.

Kakashi again feels solidarity for the chunin from so long ago. Despite being outnumbered, Kakashi had pushed past even his previous limits to decimate the enemy so that he could get home. 

He’s chakra depleted and exhausted to the point of incoherency and the only thought in his mind is to get home where he can collapse and rest. The only thing keeping him from collapsing on the spot and sleeping for a very long time are his memories of lazy mornings piled into the bed together, watching Sasuke and Naruto clumsily spar each other, Iruka’s sheepish laughter after he burned a wok trying to make stir fry.

He lands clumsily in the backyard, stumbling towards the door because Iruka gets mad when he uses windows instead and he really doesn’t want Iruka to be mad tonight.

The door opens before he can even reach it and Iruka’s face swims into view.

Relief makes Kakashi stumble to his knees and warm arms are wrapping around him, supporting him. “Kakashi,” Iruka murmurs.

“The, the blood,” Kakashi mumbles, “s’not…my own”

“Good”

“Missed you,” Kakashi curls closer, burying his face against Iruka’s neck and breathing in his scent, “came home”

“Welcome home,” Iruka’s voice is gentle. “Let’s get you inside”

Kakashi uses the last of his energy to stagger to his feet, allowing Iruka to lead him inside. At the humming of the familiar wards, Kakashi knows he’s safe and can let his guard down.

“Kaka-nii?” Naruto gasps.

“I have a mission for the two of you,” Iruka says calmly. Kakashi has a sense of deja vu. “Naruto, I want you to make tea. Sasuke, go retrieve the medical kit”

Kakashi’s existence is a blur. He’s vaguely aware of Iruka’s gentle hands patching up the injuries he does have, of a warm and wet towel running across his body, soft pajamas being tugged on him and being bundled into a bed that smells like home.

“Will he be alright?” Naruto asks in a small voice.

“Remember when we first met him?” Iruka’s voice is calm, “it’s the same as then”

“Chakra…something?” Naruto asks.

“Chakra exhaustion”

“Came home,” Kakashi repeats. “Had to”

“Rest now, Kakashi,” Iruka murmurs, “you’re home”

Kakashi allows himself to sink into a deep sleep, only vaguely aware of two small bodies curling against him.

When Kakashi finally wakes up, he feels miserable; his head hurts and his body aches, but he’s also the most well-rested he’s ever felt after chakra exhaustion. He shifts, feeling a warmth against his side. He turns to look.

Naruto is sleeping next to him, small hand resting against his pulse point. 

Kakashi wants to lift his hand to brush Naruto’s hair, but his body is screaming in protest. He looks up as Iruka enters, looking surprised and relieved.

“You’re awake,” he keeps his voice low. Kakashi nods, wincing as he does. “How are you feeling?” 

“Hurts,” Kakashi mumbles.

“You’ve been asleep for almost three days”

“Really?” Kakashi blinks. Even at his worst chakra depleted he had only ever managed a day and a half, always on alert even in the jonin barracks. 

“Let me get you some painkillers,” Iruka murmurs, sliding open the nightstand and pulling out a bottle.

“These are yours”

“They work,” Iruka raises an eyebrow and Kakashi knows he won’t win this argument. He takes them before downing the glass of water that was sitting on the nightstand. Iruka uses a water jutsu to refill it and Kakashi resists the urge to snort as he drinks it all.

The painkillers kick in a few minutes later and Kakashi feels like he can sit up.

Naruto scrambles awake. Sasuke’s small shape appears in the doorway and he climbs onto the bed next to Kakashi, relief apparent on his face.

Kakashi leans against Iruka with a tired sigh.

“I know Kaka-nii can kick anyone’s ass,” Naruto says quietly, “but he still got hurt bad”

“It happens,” Kakashi rests a hand on Naruto’s head.

“So I just have to become stronger than you so I can protect you too!” 

Kakashi huffs a quiet laugh before pulling both boys into a hug.

“Then you have to work hard at the Academy, okay?” Kakashi tells them, “pay attention and learn”

Both boys nod seriously.

“Tenzo came by while you were unconscious,” Iruka says, “and Gai brought food over. I’ll go reheat some of it”

“I’ll go to the kitchen,” Kakashi says, “moving always helps with the stiffness”

Iruka loops his arm under Kakashi’s. Again, Naruto is underneath his other arm and Sasuke is a quiet presence at his back.

He laughs to himself at the role reversal and just hopes Naruto won’t try and feed him too. 

Fortunately, the food Gai brought doesn’t require the dexterity of chopsticks. Something Gai knows about Kakashi’s recovery from chakra depletion.

Kakashi begins to feel a bit more human and subtly stretches out his limbs, loosening up the muscles.

He declines a shower, knowing the heat will make him dizzy and pass out, and instead gingerly picks his way over to the couch to flop down.

He doesn’t sleep but he does lightly doze, still aware of everything going on around him.

Iruka’s voice is nice and Kakashi listens to what he’s teaching the pair. 

Since their first day at the Academy is coming up, Iruka and Kakashi have taken to teaching them the things that they’ll need to know.

They work well together. Iruka teaches them the knowledge they’ll need to know and Kakashi teaches them the practical applications. He also shows them several jutsus that aren’t usually taught to Academy students but will hopefully put, at least Naruto, at less of a disadvantage.

Today’s lesson is about chakra pathways and Kakashi knows it’s a deliberate choice on Iruka’s part.

He’s prodded into wakefulness at dinner time, more of Gai’s reheated food, and in the evening Iruka drags him into the shower saying he smells like a garbage can.

“I feel like the only time we shower together is when one of us needs help,” Kakashi complains even as he leans into Iruka’s hands scrubbing shampoo through his hair. “What a shame since there’s so many other things that can be done in a shower together”

“I am not explaining to the medic-nin why we’re at the hospital for a head injury because one of us slipped”

“We’re shinobi,” Kakashi says, drying off. He presses a kiss to Iruka’s bare shoulder, fingers ghosting along the edges of the scar on his back, earning a shiver. “We won’t slip”

“We can revisit this when you don’t look seconds away from passing out,” Iruka says, “you don’t want to start something you can’t finish”

“At the very least I could get you to finish,” Kakashi leers before swaying in place. “Ugh”

Iruka’s laugh is quiet and warm. “Later. We’ll get Tsume to take the brats for a weekend or something”

“I look forward to it,” Kakashi teases as Iruka guides him back to the bedroom. 

All things considered, he really is still low on energy. And the few times they’ve been able to get away with having sex, they’ve both been exhausted afterwards.

Instead he settles for having Iruka curl up around his side, head resting on his shoulder. As expected, Naruto and Sasuke eventually creep into the room and settle into the bed. Kakashi decides that chakra depletion is a small price to pay to be able to come home to this.

Chapter Text

“We’re going”

“I don’t like parties”

“He’s your best friend”

“He’s a nuisance”

Iruka levels him with a disappointed look.

“It’s his birthday, Kakashi,” Iruka picks up the wrapped present, “even if it’s for a little bit, you still have to go”

“I’ve never gone to his birthday parties before”

“Please, Kakashi?” Iruka looks at him, “he’s been a good friend to you, don’t you think it would make him happy?” Kakashi sighs, “look, Tsume has the kids tonight, if you promise to go and at least pretend to have fun we can spend the rest of the night doing anything you want”

“In the shower?” Kakashi asks, interest piqued. Iruka looks conflicted before sighing. 

“Do you promise to behave?”

“Yes”

“Fine,” Iruka concedes. Kakashi inwardly cheers. “But you have to at least pretend to have fun”

“I’ll try,” Kakashi says. And he means it. He’s not one for parties, especially not big parties like Gai’s birthdays. Iruka squeezes his hand. “Stay with me?”

“I promise”

Kakashi allows Iruka to lead him to the restaurant. 

“ETERNAL RIVAL! YOU MADE IT!” Gai’s exuberance rattles Kakashi’s teeth.

“Yo”

“I have no idea how you managed this,” Tenzo stares at Iruka in shock. Iruka laughs sheepishly. 

“Happy birthday, Gai-san,” Iruka holds out the present. Gai sweeps him into a hug, Manly Tears sliding down his cheek.

“YOU ARE SO KIND AND THOUGHTFUL,” Gai blubbers and Kakashi sighs, “TRULY, MY RIVAL IS A LUCKY MAN”

“I told you it was a lot,” Kakashi says smugly when Gai finally sets a vaguely shell-shocked Iruka down.

“Shower,” Iruka reminds him. Kakashi quiets down and allows Iruka to lead him to the table. 

Fortunately Iruka manages to grab seats near the end and Kakashi isn’t left feeling claustrophobic. He’s across from Asuma and Kurenai and between Tenzo and Iruka with his back to the wall.

To his disbelief, he actually finds himself having fun even when Gai challenges him to an arm wrestling contest that Kakashi allows Gai to win. 

Kakashi isn’t even entirely certain what Iruka bought for Gai’s birthday present. 

Surprise flickers through him as Gai unwraps a rather nice pair of bright green focus mitts Kakashi had seen in a store when they were trying to find gear that would fit Naruto’s bony frame with something like awe. 

He glances up at them. 

“Kakashi-san had mentioned that you needed a new pair,” Iruka says with a smile. Kakashi thinks back to the offhanded comment he had made when they were passing by the display of obnoxiously colored mitts.

Iruka had remembered that?

“ETERNAL RIVAL!” Gai’s tears flow quickly as he launches into a speech about the flowers of youthful friendship.

Everyone is staring at Iruka. Some in shock, some in admiration. Kakashi is pretty sure everyone knows that it wasn’t Kakashi who bought them.

“You had no idea, did you?” Asuma grins.

“None whatsoever,” Kakashi responds. Kurenai giggles and Tenzo shakes his head.

“He’s too good for you, senpai,” Tenzo says. Kakashi flicks him on the shoulder. 

Kakashi squeezes Iruka’s hand under the table. Iruka squeezes back.

Genma’s gift is bright green lingerie that has everyone screeching in horrified laughter. Tenzo’s face is beet red and he looks like he wishes he could mold himself into the wood of his chair. The laughter only gets worse as he pulls out bright orange stockings.

Before he knows it, they’ve been there for hours and people are beginning to leave.

“Rival,” Gai’s voice is less booming and more normal. “Even without the birthday present, having you here means a lot. Even if the kindhearted Iruka-sensei is the one who made you come”

“Maa,” Kakashi scratches the back of his head, uncomfortable with feelings but Iruka has been urging him to try, “I’m sorry I haven’t been a better friend”

Gai looks genuinely surprised before his expression softens.

“Iruka-sensei really is good for you,” Gai says, slightly awed. “And it does not matter, for I will always be your friend no matter what”

Kakashi exhales before nodding. “Next time I’ll beat you at our challenge”

Gai’s grin is blinding but incredibly genuine. “I LOOK FORWARD TO THE DAY!” he booms.

Kakashi and Iruka bid Gai farewell, only to be swept into another bone crushing hug.

“I didn’t expect to have fun,” Kakashi admits when they’re halfway home.

“But you did?”

“I did,” Kakashi looks at the sky, hands in his pockets, “everyone says you’re too good for me”

“What do you think?”

“I think they’re right,” Kakashi huffs a laugh, “Gai was right about one thing. I am a lucky man”

Iruka’s cheeks flare red.

“Speaking of being lucky, I think I promised you something,” he teases. Kakashi wraps his arms around him and flashes through the hand signs to teleport them home. 

Iruka’s laughter as he later holds an icepack to the back of Kakashi’s head after Kakashi slips in the shower lights up his entire face and Kakashi can’t even be mad.