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once every year, a day of february rolls around that either spreads love, or ruins it. that of course would be valentine’s day; some useless holiday to give couples an excuse to fuck each other’s brains out.
michael was never fond of the holiday, and not just because he didn’t have anyone to celebrate it with.
he had to bury his true self deep down below the surface. he couldn’t be who he wanted to be. he couldn’t love who he wanted to love. he was in the eighties, where if you were to love someone of your own sex, you would be seen as nothing more than some british slang for a cigarette.
michael was fully aware of his sexuality, he knew that he liked guys. he dated girls in the past, but only for a week or two until they broke up. at first he thought he was just broken, because he’d feel no romantic attraction to any of them. but as he grew older, he just realized that he was fucking gay, not busted.
and so here he was, standing outside of his little sister’s door a day before valentine’s, trying to convince himself that asking for help did not make you a pussy. it was kind of hard to believe when he, a sixteen-year-old boy, was asking for his nine-year-old little sister’s help over some dumb boy crush. he decided to just say ‘fuck it’ and knocked on her door.
“what ev– michael?” a short red-headed girl looked up in his direction, emerald eyes popping out against her skin. “what do you want?” now that he was here, standing right in front of her, he found it hard to speak. “i… need your… help.” “i don’t like the sound of that. if it’s pranking evan then consider me o–” “it’s not about evan! can i just-” he huffed. “can i come in?”
with a skeptical stare, elizabeth stepped aside and allowed michael into her room. she threw herself onto her bed and motioned for michael to do the same, sitting criss-crossed with her hands neatly folded in her lap. “so, what does mike need?” her tone was any but pleasant, clearly annoyed by his disturbance and presence. “so… uh-” he cleared his throat. “tomorrow is… a day..” elizabeth’s eyebrow cocked higher, unamused. “a special day…” he was ultimately stalling, which earned an impatient slap on the shoulder from his sister. “get on with it!”
“okay okay fine! tomorrow is valentine’s day and i need your help.” he spat out, sighing at the end of his sentence. he looked up to his sister’s confused gaze, her eyebrow still raised high in the sky. “what? why would you need my help for valenti… valenti- TINE’S. VALENTINE’S DAY. OH MY GOD DOES MICHAEL HAVE A SPECIAL SOMEONE?!” her booming voice sent michael forward, clasping a calloused hand over her mouth. “shut the fuck up! i came in here because i trusted you to help, not to announce it to the whole world!”
elizabeth practically jumped where she sat, shaking michael’s shoulder aggressively. “this is amazing oh my god! the michael, my brother, the edgiest, most ‘badass,’ never-gives-a-damn michael has a lover! i never thought i’d see the day! i can’t believe he’s finally getting girls now, they grow up so fast..” she feigned wiping a tear from her eye, earning an unamused look from michael.
“he's not a lover you git! now calm down.”
“he?”
“what?”
“..you said he..”
michael’s mouth went dry and he stared off into space.
“michael? mi-”
“can you keep a secret?” his gaze not once faltered from the wall in front of him. “..yeah?” elizabeth said with a nod, already having an idea of where this was going. “genuinely though, not a secret you keep and tell just for fun, like serious serious secret.” “yes michael, i can keep a secret, i swear.”
“i like guys.. romantically..”
there was a short and silent pause shared between the two before elizabeth spoke up. “good for you, i don’t care. now what do you need my help with?” michael jolted in his seat, eyes bulging out of his head comically. “you-you don’t care?”
“no i don’t care you git, you can like who you wanna like, i’m not gonna judge. you like girls? cool. you like guys? cool. you like both? whatever, i don’t care michael, you do you. it’s your life and i’m gonna support you no matter what, because love isn’t really a choice. now enough with the stupid sappy stuff, what do you need help with?”
michael couldn’t help but smile, ruffling his sister’s hair with his knuckles. she pushed his arms away in protest, punching his arms in an attempt to pry them away. “stop it! my hair actually looked good today.” she frowned, pathetically trying to fix her hair. “i offer to help you with your stupid crush and this is the thanks i get?”
michael chuckled and folded his hands in his lap, staring at the floor. “so.. there’s this guy in my english class..” “oh god here we go.” “his name is peter, he’s really cool and chill and kind and i just-” he let out a frustrated sigh and yanked one of elizabeth’s pillows into his hands, shoving his face into it. michael tugged the pillow closer to his face in an attempt to hide the soft red growing on his cheeks. “we hang out so much and he’s so cool and he’s so pretty and i just want to hold his hand and kiss him and-and..” michael trailed off of his rant and looked up at his sister, who sat on her bed and stared at him nonchalantly.
“elizabeth if you say a word about this conversation to anyone i will make it a promise to make sure you don’t live to see your tenth birthday.” elizabeth raised her hands in defense and shrugged. “i’m not gonna tell anyone mike, chill. it’s not like i’d gain anything from telling someone about your stupid soft side.”
“liz.. he’s so pretty. he’s so fucking kind, he’s not like my other friends who just make fun of me. he’s.. he’s so sweet and he’s really fucking doing things to me liz, but i can’t do anything. he probably doesn’t even like guys and even if i were to try something he’d probably see me as weird for liking boys and he’d stop talking to me and i don’t want that i just want to hold him and do dumb relationship stuff with him because he’s so.. god fucking DAMN IT!” he slammed the pillow onto the bed forcefully out of anger.
“michael, you need to relax. you say he ‘probably’ doesn’t like guys, but do you know that for sure?” michael scoffed at the question like it was the stupidest thing he’d ever heard. “that’s a dumb question liz, no boy likes boys. it’s not even legal.” that earned him a slap on the back of his head from elizabeth; he held his hand to his head and hissed, shooting a glare in her direction. “what the fuck?!”
“you’re by far the stupidest kid i’ve ever met. there are boys that like boys michael, you’re one of them. it’s not illegal, you just can’t legally marry them or whatever. i don’t know, but all i know is that a lot of other people like people that are the same gender.”
“it seriously scares me how wise you can be at times for a nine year old.”
“that’s just the perks of having a bad father i guess, you grow up too quickly.”