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The crudest form of Marion Lavorre and The Gentleman dancing, and a ship at sea.
A plain and two feminine forms at the center of it, sitting on the ground together.
A little house, ringed in by a forest.
A tall figure and a short figure, walking through a field of grass.
The flames of the campfire shift into these forms, one after another, before reverting to its normal state. The globules hovering within the dome dim to the faintest motes of light as Frumpkin’s purring echoes throughout.
One by one, the Mighty Nein slowly succumbed to the soft embrace of sleep.
All except three of them.
Beauregard Lionett continues to sit cross-legged, holding and petting Frumpkin in her lap, still too wired and anxious to sleep. She is well-aware of what could await her in her slumber, as proven by the two red eyes on her body. She clenches her left hand into a fist as it shakes.
Yasha Nydoorin sits right next to her, placing her hand atop Beau’s clenched fist. A small motion, but one that helps keep the monk grounded and somewhat calm. The two continue to sit in silence.
Jester Lavorre sits on the other side of Beau, clutching onto her worn but still functional sketchbook. The urge to do any drawings today is uncharacteristically absent, which is understandable given that she left her mama and papa having lied to them. She had promised to be careful, to come back if things got too dangerous.
But who was she kidding? She’s very well aware that this could become a suicide mission. That possibility has not gone unnoticed by the others, given their last requests.
And that despite everyone’s insistence that things will be okay, there’s no denying that there will be casualties along the way… to say nothing of the risk of Lucien taking control of Beau and Caleb perhaps at any time when they least expect it.
Even so, the greatest fear of everyone in the group? The real possibility that they can’t go home, or that there won’t be a home to go back to should they fail.
“Jessie?”
The sound of Beau’s voice gets her attention. “Hmm?”
“Are you okay? You’re crying.”
Jester quickly takes her coat sleeve and wipes the tears away. “Sorry. Um…” She sniffles a little. “Just thinking about what’s bound to happen. Not gonna lie… I’m scared.”
“Me too.”
Yasha at this point takes the opportunity to speak up, keeping her voice low. “I’m scared as well. I mean, the only home I have left is you all. But… I want to do what I can to bring you back to yours.”
Beau turns to face her girlfriend. “Yash. If you’re suggesting that you’re going to sacrifice yourself, don’t. Please.”
The aasimar averts her gaze. “I’d rather do that than… end up hurting you, Beau. I don’t want to hurt you again.”
“I know. I mean, I don’t have much to lose, either. You guys are my family.”
Jester grimaces a little, reminded of the fact that of the three of them, she has the most to lose should they fail or die. But speaking of family…
“Beau,” she asks her friend, “I know you want us to look after TJ for you. And I promise that we will. But…”
“What?”
Jester takes a breath. She’s supposed to be the optimistic one in the group, but there are times where even she has her limits. And at this point, it’s just the three of them awake, and Beau and Yasha had already opened up so much. It’s only fair that Jester says what’s on her mind while she still can.
“But what should we do about your parents? Kill your dad? Maybe help your mom? And…” She falters a moment before continuing. “I… I want to apologize. For what I tried to suggest to you when we visited your house. I hadn’t considered it at the time.”
“You mean the idea of… forgiving him? Or that he did genuinely care about me?”
“I was wrong, Beau,” Jester spits out, desperate to not raise her voice. “Looking back, I read him wrong. It’s not that often that someone is able to fool me and… I’m scared that my advice might have… influenced you to want to take that deal with the hag.”
At the mention of the hag, Jester can see Beau freeze on the spot, Yasha’s own brows furrowing deeply. Truth be told, this was bound to happen. It was only a matter of time before Isharnai was ever brought up again. She can only hope that she’s enjoying her cupcakes.
Jester’s blood immediately runs cold. Colder than even Eiselcross itself.
Oh shit, I just realized that I haven’t sent her any cupcakes in a long while, I’ve been so distracted, I hope she doesn’t figure out that I tricked her and then she’ll seek revenge and me and Beau will be fucked over and everyone else will get dragged down with us and–
“I keep thinking about it.”
Jester blinks and looks up. Beau’s expression is heavily crestfallen, her fingers trembling as she continues to pet Frumpkin. “About… her?”
Beau shakes her head. “About everything that happened back then, in Kamordah. I…” She tries to hold back a sob, and her words choke with another. “I can’t help but feel as if all of that could’ve been avoidable.”
She looks Jester in the eye, and then to Yasha, and then to the group as a whole as she stares out into space. “You all could’ve just said no. That we didn’t have to go there. I was fine, you know? I didn’t want to. I got back into this headspace of… well… thinking that my happiness was bound to run out sooner or later.”
“Beau—” Jester tries to interrupt, but Yasha catches her gaze and shakes her head. Beau continues.
“I know. I know that… if I took that deal, I wasn’t going to be the only one hurting. I would have thrown everything away, including you guys. But I didn’t care. I was too self-absorbed in my misery that I just wanted it to fucking end. I… I stopped caring about what happened to me. I… I was ready for it.”
She then looks at Jester again. “I mean, don’t get me wrong, I’m glad you stepped in. And I’m glad that you guys convinced me to stay. But… I was in a very dark place… and I can’t help but wonder what could have been… had I taken it.”
Jester is at a loss for words. She knew that Beau was terrified and hurting at the time, and she was quick to try to tell Beau she was wrong, that she didn’t have to do it. But now, she wishes she had done more, that she had told the group that they didn’t have to go to Kamordah after all. Because Beau wasn’t going to speak up about it, not when she was wanting and willing to sacrifice even her own happiness if it meant saving Veth from her curse.
“But at the same time…” Beau continues to ramble, tears beginning to fall from her eyes, “I keep thinking about what I would have lost. I wouldn’t have learned that I was lied to for years by my father and Zeenoth.”
She then looks at Yasha, who pats Beau’s shoulder. “I wouldn’t have… I wouldn’t have found love again.”
And then she turns back to Jester. “I would’ve lost my best friend. And maybe… you guys would’ve just been lost without me around.”
“Well, you’re not wrong,” Yasha affirms. “We definitely wouldn’t be the same without you… and… well, I almost made a decision, too.”
“With the hag?” Jester dares to ask. Yasha nods her head slightly.
“Yeah. I… I knew exactly what you were trying to do, Beau. But… having fallen for you at the time, I couldn’t accept it.” She lets out a shaky, icy breath. “I lost Zuala because I fucking ran away. And there you were, about to run away yourself to where no one would find you. I couldn’t let that happen.”
Beau looks up to Yasha. “What were you going to give?”
Yasha sighs again, but this time she utters an empty laugh. “That’s the thing. She said my misery was worthless compared to yours or Veth’s. Even when I tried my hardest to make my case. I… I would’ve given up… this .”
With that, Yasha pulls out a book. The book. Jester gasps. “Your flowers for Zuala.”
“The very last thing I wanted to do for her, yes. I would’ve given it up, to forever remember that I failed her. And… I wanted to kill that hag bitch so bad.” She puts the book away. “If only because of how much she was hurting you with just her words. But I didn’t want to put you all in danger, so…”
“I probably would’ve stopped you,” Beau replies, staring out into space again. “I would’ve said ‘yes’ to keep you all from getting hurt. All for my sake.”
“Probably,” Yasha says reluctantly. Jester just nods. There’s no denying that what Beau is suggesting could’ve very well happened. If anything, the Mighty Nein are that much ride-or-die at this point, willing to sacrifice for everyone. And yet, they’re all so desperate to not have that happen, thus creating a tenuous fight-or-flight mentality.
Jester also notes to herself the irony of how such a mentality only solidified because of Molly. And now, the embodiment of their commitment to each other is buried deep within Lucien, and he’s trying to ruin everything by bringing the city back. And if he succeeds…
“On another note,” Beau starts saying, drawing Jester’s attention back. “If I had left… I wouldn’t have gotten this from you.”
With that, Beau pulls out a piece of parchment filled with words. Even in the dim light, Jester can recognize it at a glance. To think that what she and Yasha had worked on was but a few weeks ago, before this entire shitstorm took place.
“Ooh, is that the… um… oh wait, Yasha said she wrote a letter instead. But the poem is still there, I can see it!” Jester can’t help but point it out.
Beau gives her a very pointed look. “Huh. I was wondering where those particular words came from. You… You helped Yasha write this?”
“Not really,” Yasha steps in. “The letter was all me. What Jester and I workshopped was… well… I’m sorry, Jester, but I really just wanted to show Beau what I felt, from the heart.”
“And it worked, didn’t it?” Beau replies, earning Yasha a kiss on the cheek. Her attention then goes back to Jester. “Did… Did you want to read what she wrote, Jessie?”
Jester is left speechless for a moment. “Um… is that really okay? Well… maybe later, if we have a ‘later’.”
Beau smiles and hands Jester the letter. “I’ll hold you to that.”
Jester nods. “You also HAVE to give me the details on your date, I wanna know everything!”
Beau and Yasha look at each other, a few seconds of silence before they both shrug. “Tell you what, IF we get through this… I promise I’ll tell you all of it.”
“Promise?” Jester asks, holding out her pinky.
“Promise.” Beau holds Jester’s pinky with her own.
“Promise.” Yasha leans over to somehow tie their pinkies together.
The three of them separate. Jester can’t help but yawn. “We really should get some sleep. As much as I hate it.”
“Jester,” Beau says to her. “There is something that I wanna say. And I feel like I won’t get another chance later.”
“What is it, Beau?”
Beau’s cheeks turn a little red in the firelight. She’s definitely blushing… but is she blushing because of Jester?
Sure enough, Beau confirms it. “A while back, I… I kinda had a crush on you. And it only got bigger when… when Yasha was gone. I was going through a lot of shit, as you know, and when we got Yasha back… I was so confused. So…”
Jester can’t help but giggle. “You had a crush on me? Aw, that’s so sweet of you, Beau.”
Beau just shrugs, her face still warm and red. “I mean, to be fair, I think everyone’s had or still has a crush on you.” Yasha herself doesn’t say anything, but Jester can tell that her face is just as red. “And, I dunno, I’ve had time to process… and I think it was while we were on Rumblecusp.”
Beau stops petting Frumpkin for a moment as she takes her hand and holds Jester’s in her grip. “I came to realize that as strong as my feelings were for you… they didn’t compare to what I felt for Yasha. And I came to accept that regardless of how things worked out, that as long as you continued to be my friend… I was happy.”
“Thank you, Beau.” Jester smiles, a tear escaping her eyes. “I’m glad to hear that. And if I may be honest, maybe in another life I probably would’ve noticed you more than I noticed Fjord. Or maybe both of you.” She looks over to where Fjord is sleeping right next to her. “But as is, I’m happy. I’m happy to have him in my life. I’m happy to have all of you in my life. And also Artie.”
Beau lets out a cough. This definitely gets Jester’s attention. “Oh, come on, Beau, you know he’s not that bad.”
“Well, he’s not that bad now ,” the monk retorts. “He’s a fey, he’s bound to be a shady shitbird every once in a while. And… I have to admit, he’s actually… tolerable now. I still think he’s a douche, but he makes you happy, and that’s good enough for me.”
“I mean, I could ask him to make himself friendlier—”
“Nah. I think we’re good.”
Yasha takes this opportunity to chime in. “And you know, Jester… at some point, it won’t be the two of you anymore. What if he wants to, I dunno, wander off again? How would you feel about that?”
Jester looks away from the two sentinels, completely taken aback. “I… I don’t know. He’s been there for me ever since I was young and… maybe I’m not quite… ready to think about that?”
“I understand, I’m sorry if I overstepped.”
“No no no, it’s fine!” Jester retorts. “I mean, maybe later I’ll have a chance to think about it.”
At that point, Sprinkle pops out of her hood and gives an empathetic squeak. Jester gives him a scritch under his chin. “For now… we have to focus on Lucien. And making sure he can’t bring the city back.”
“I agree,” Beau responds. “I’m glad we had this talk, though.”
“Me too,” Yasha agrees. “Hopefully when we wake up, no new red eyes?”
Beau sighs heavily. “Hopefully. Okay then, see you all in the morning.”
“Night,” Yasha says as she finally lays down, leaving a spot on the ground for when Beau’s ready to be spooned.
“Night, Jessie,” Beau tells her as she gives her a hug.
Jester smiles as she goes and gives Beau a peck on the cheek. “Night, Beau.”
There’s a matching smile on Beau’s face as they part and she lies down next to Yasha. As those two fall asleep, Jester muses over what they may have yet to face… and the question of whether they will make it through, or even if any or all of them will be able to come back home.
“We have to make it back,” Jester says quietly to herself. “We have to. And we have to try and see if we can save Molly as well.”
She pulls out the deck of tarot cards and grips them tight. “We have to do what we can.”
Sprinkle lets out another squeak. Jester gives him another scritch. “Right, buddy? We can certainly try.”
It’s only after a few more minutes pass that Jester finally goes to sleep, hopeful and afraid in equal measure. She’s dreading the possibility that Beau and Caleb will be marked even further, and the very real chance that they will have to kill Lucien and thus kill Molly.
But she’s also hopeful that they can succeed. Because there is no other acceptable alternative. They have to succeed, even if it kills them. And if they do happen to die in the process…
Well, at least they’ll have left the world better than what they found it. Just like he would have wanted.
That last thought occupies her dreams throughout the night, the flurry of the snowstorm outside oblivious to the palpable dread filling the dome in its entirety.