Work Text:
Taehyung met Jungkook when he was just 10 years old. The latter was a year younger, playing with a coloring book outside his father’s office. He had just been dropped off by one of his nannies. He had spent a lonely week at his mother’s and was about to spend another lonely one with his father. But it’s summertime and this strange, doe-eyed boy is the first kind he’s seen in what felt like forever.
“Hi,” Taehyung greeted. He bent down to look at the younger’s meticulous coloring. Unlike Taehyung who loves to scribble and doodle on top of the pre-made drawings. Jungkook’s coloring stayed inside the lines. Perfect and neat.
Jungkook looked up and eyed him wearily. “Hello.” Taehyung thinks it’s funny how a kid can be so polite.
“Do you want to play?”
“I’m busy,” Jungkook replied, gaze drifting back to his coloring. Taehyung pouted.
“I have a bunch of toys,” Taehyung insisted. He put down his backpack and removed a few items. A remote car, Transformer figures, and finally, a Nintendo Game Boy. Taehyung smirks as the younger’s eyes flit to the toys laid out in front of him.
“Look!” Taehyung grinned. He handed Jungkook the Game Boy and the younger held the device in his hands, looking very disinterested.
“I know what you’re probably thinking,” Taehyung said. “But Dad will buy me a new one soon.” He knows Jungkook is probably unimpressed because the newest model just came out.
“I don’t even know what this is,” Jungkook retorted, wrinkling his nose. He put the Game Boy down gently and proceeded to go back to his coloring.
“Oh.” Taehyung frowned. Too bad, he thinks. It’s a shame. Game Boy is way more fun than coloring.
“No. It’s not,” Jungkook said suddenly. And it’s only then that Taehyung realized he said his thoughts out loud. The younger’s face was still relatively stoic, unwavering as he stared at Taehyung. There was a strange swooping sensation in Taehyung’s chest when they locked eyes.
Oh. He’s so cute. And his face felt very, very warm at the observation.
“You can have mine!” Taehyung suddenly suggested. “So we can play together.” He handed the other the game and their fingers brushed. Taehyung felt his heartbeat quicken.
Jungkook frowned again. Taehyung had yet to see him crack one smile. “No, I don’t want it,” he said firmly, shoving the device back into Taehyung’s hands. “And I don’t want to play with you.”
Taehyung had always had thick skin. Maybe Jungkook is just shy.
“Why not?”
“I just don’t.”
“Hm. That’s not a good answer.” And Jungkook scowled at him.
Just then, Taehyung’s father came out, followed by an older man who looked just like the boy he was so desperately trying to play with.
“Oh, Taehyung-ah,” his father said. “I see that you already met Jungkook. This is his father.”
Jungkook. Cute.
Taehyung waved and smiled, but his father frowned at him. Oh, right. He was supposed to bow.
“That’s alright,” the other man said easily, putting an arm around Jungkook. “It’s nice to meet you, Tae-ah.”
Taehyung couldn’t help but smile at the nickname.
“Jungkook will be attending your school soon. We really appreciate the financial support, Byunghun-nim.”
“It’s no trouble at all,” Taehyung heard his father say. “I’m sure Taehyung will be nothing but friendly to Jungkook once school starts again.”
Taehyung’s eyes flitted back to Jungkook who only managed a grimace. But Taehyung doesn’t care because soon he’ll be attending the same school as his cute new crush.
*
14 years later
“Oh, Gukkie! You’re here.”
Jungkook exhales loudly, holding up the Gucci store bag. “I’m sick of returning these to you every day. I don’t want your gifts, Taehyung.”
Taehyung grins. He’ll keep sending gifts if it means he gets to see his cute bun (and crush) like this.
There’s a snort that comes from his best friend Jimin who sits besides him, scrolling through Twitter and enjoying the usual discussion of Jungkook barging into Taehyung’s office to complain.
“I heard you saying that you needed a side bag,” Taehyung explains. Jungkook glares at him.
“I’m perfectly capable of getting my own . I don’t even like those name brand bags! It’s so pretentious.”
“It’s high fashion,” Jimin refutes. And Jungkook sighs.
“I don’t care. Stop sending me things!”
“Will you go out with me?”
“No!” Jungkook sputters, looking frustrated. “I don’t like you!”
“Mmm. I don’t know. We’ve known each other since we were kids. And you still haven’t managed to get rid of me.”
“Believe me,” Jungkook hisses. “I’m trying.” The younger drops the bag on his desk. Jimin gladly takes it and fiddles with the accessory himself.
“Will you still be joining us for dinner tonight?”
Jungkook rolls his eyes. “It’s not like I have a choice.”
Taehyung hums happily. “Okay. See you later, Gukkie!” And Jungkook just turns on his heel and marches out without another glance back.
When he’s gone, Jimin gives him an exasperated look. “What is that? Attempt number 500?”
“I lost track after 30 if I’m being honest.”
“You’re so dumb,” Jimin utters, standing now to look at himself in the office mirror with the bag on. “Why do you still bother with him?”
Taehyung shrugs. “I’ve always been stubborn. Also, Jungkook is such boyfriend material. He’s hardworking and humble. And have you seen him after his workouts?”
“No, because I’m not a creep. Also, I have my own eyes set on another grad student, thanks very much.”
“At least Yoongi-hyung gives me the time of day,” Jimin adds. “Jungkook wants nothing to do with you. You could have any guy at the university or at the office, but you choose to pine over that robot.”
“Don’t call him that,” Taehyung mutters. Jimin rolls his eyes.
“I’ve never seen him smile.” And Taehyung clamps his mouth shut because quite honestly, he doesn’t recall the last time he’s seen the younger smile either.
“Excuse me.” There’s a knock on the door. Taehyung’s eyes lift up to find Minjae, one of his newest team members, standing there, eyes shining as usual when they interact.
“Sorry to bother you, Taehyung-ssi. But I was wondering if you could read over my draft?”
“Sure,” Taehyung agrees, tone friendly as always. “Also, Minjae-ah. Call me hyung or just Taehyung, okay?”
“O-okay,” the younger replies, a heavy flush on his face. “Thanks, Taehyung.”
It takes him a few minutes, but Taehyung circles a few areas where corrections could be made, suggesting different wording and then he’s done. Minjae smiles brightly at him.
“Thank you so much again, Taehyung-ssi. I mean, Taehyung.” He’s turning pink again and Jimin giggles behind them.
“Not a problem,” Taehyung smiles. Minjae bites his lip.
“Could I buy you a coffee sometime? To thank you for always helping me.”
“Ah…sure!” Taehyung responds and the other man visibly brightens more than he possibly could.
“Great! Ah, maybe tomorrow?”
“Mm. Sure. Looking forward to it.” Minjae grins one last time before bowing to Jimin and walking out.
Jimin snorts, throwing a paper ball at Taehyung. “Yah. You’re leading the poor kid on. Quite frankly, I like him way more than Jungkook. He’s nice and he’s appreciative of you.”
Taehyung laughs nervously. “No. Minjae’s only been on the team for a few months. I’m just more approachable than other seniors.”
“Whatever. Just let me know the next time you send a gift to Jungkook. I’ll come back over and visit so I can snatch it when he gives it back.”
Taehyung throws the paper ball back at his friend who just laughs.
*
“So, Jungkook-ssi. How is grad school going? Are your courses difficult?”
Jungkook pats his face with a napkin before responding. “It’s going well, sir.”
“You’re still focusing on industrial design?”
“Yes, sir.”
“Very good,” Byunghun says, eyes looking on him fondly. “Your father would be very proud.”
“Thank you, sir.”
Taehyung itches to speak to Jungkook, but doesn’t want to when his father is around. So he just eats his noodle dish quietly as the two continue to talk.
“Did you get the invoice for this month’s tuition?”
At that, Taehyung sees Jungkook bristle. “Yes, I did.” Jungkook responds cordially, but his smile is tight at the corners. “Thank you.”
“Just let me know if you’d like me to increase the amount,” Byunghun says. Jungkook’s jaw twitches.
“Sure. Thank you.”
After dinner, Taehyung tries to coax Jungkook to get dessert with him.
“There’s a new cafe downtown! They sell waffles with ice cream on top.”
Jungkook wrinkles his nose just like he used to when they were kids. “It’s too late for sugar. I won’t be able to sleep.”
“You act like you’re already 50 years old. You’re only 23,” Taehyung teases, earning a glare from Jungkook.
“Diabetes is a thing.”
“You’re a health-freak. And you’re on your toes all day at your part-time jobs. Speaking of—” Taehyung stands in front of him, flashing a charming smile.
“You still haven’t told me when your shift at the grocery store is.”
“Mmm. I wonder why,” Jungkook retorts. “I don’t want you bothering me while I’m on the job.”
“I was just going to bring you lunch!” Taehyung insists. Okay, maybe he wants to bother Jungkook a little bit. He doesn’t see him much because he’s so busy.
“I don’t need lunch from you. I make my own food at home.”
Taehyung whines. “It’s just one lunch.”
“You can’t cook.”
“I’ll buy you takeout. You like rice with tonkatsu, right?”
Jungkook’s eyes show interest in that and Taehyung is elated. “You do!” And just like that, the younger’s eyes go back to their indifference.
“No.”
“Please,” Taehyung begs, jutting his lip out. “Just once this week. I need to buy groceries anyways!”
“You can’t cook,” Jungkook repeats and Taehyung complains again until he finally gives in.
“Fine, fine! Come by Wednesday. God, you’re so annoying—
“Yay!” And Taehyung leans in to give the younger a soft kiss on the cheek. Jungkook groans and wipes it with the back of his hand.
“Gross!” And Taehyung can only giggle. Jungkook is still so cute.
*
Taehyung enters the grocery store, carrying a cute lunchbox with Jungkook’s tonkatsu and rice dish. Plus a little more. Jungkook is a notorious eater! And Taehyung doesn’t know if he has the budgetary means to afford more groceries with all his expenses this semester.
He stops in his tracks when he sees Jungkook, but he’s not alone. He’s talking to a cute boy, probably around the same age as him. The other guy leans in to rest his head on Jungkook’s chest, shoulders bouncing while he laughs at something the younger says. Taehyung can see there’s a small smile that works itself on Jungkook’s handsome features. And the sight causes a weird stirring in his gut, making him anxious. He’s not jealous because Jungkook is talking to a boy. He’s jealous because this is what it must look like when Jungkook is happy.
He walks up to them quickly and the smile on Jungkook’s face slowly disappears. Taehyung pretends it doesn’t sting.
“Hi, bun.” Jungkook cringes at the nickname and his coworker looks on with curious eyes.
“I bought you tonkatsu and rice from your favorite spot downtown. There’s also curry and a slice of strawberry cake.” Taehyung grins proudly, but Jungkook frowns instead.
“That’s too much, Taehyung. I only have a 15 minute lunch break.” And Taehyung shrugs.
“It’s okay.” He knew the younger would say that. “You can eat the leftovers for dinner later.”
Jungkook doesn’t respond, only grabs the lunchbox silently and places it down on the counter near him.
“I didn’t know you had a boyfriend, Jungkook.”
“He’s not,” Jungkook says, turning his attention to his coworker. Taehyung sees the nametag: Yugyeom.
“Not yet,” Taehyung sings and the coworker only laughs. Taehyung doesn’t feel threatened by him anymore. He seems genuinely nice. “I’m Taehyung.”
“Oh. Kim Taehyung? Your dad owns a clothing company, right?”
“Mmm.” Taehyung doesn’t like talking about his dad normally. But especially when he’s around Jungkook.
Jungkook clears his throat, glancing at Taehyung now. “Thanks for lunch,” he mutters. “I’ll bring the lunchbox back to you some other time.”
“You can keep it,” Taehyung replies and Jungkook shakes his head as always. It’s a gift, so of course he would reject it.
“It’s the Bento Brand!” Yugyeom exclaims when he sees the logo. “These are so expensive.”
“Exactly,” Jungkook deadpans. “I’ll bring it back to you.”
“Okay. I’ll just pack lunch in it and bring it to you on Wednesdays then,” Taehyung replies easily and Jungkook only rolls his eyes.
“I won’t bother you on break anymore. But enjoy your lunch! It was nice to meet you, Yugyeom-ssi!”
“Bye! Nice meeting you!” Jungkook’s friend waves and when Taehyung walks away he hears him utter to Jungkook.
“Yah. If you won’t date him, I will. He’s so pretty and nice.”
“Shut up,” Jungkook mutters. Taehyung waits until he’s out of sight to take a peek at Jungkook. He’s begun eating the food and there’s a small joy in his eyes from the meal. He only wishes he could see that in person and not in secret.
Later that day, Taehyung pays Jungkook a visit during his studio hours. He had just logged off work and wanted to see if the younger had already gone home. Sometimes he works so hard that he doesn’t make time to eat proper meals, which is why he wanted to drop off lunch to him in the first place.
Jungkook lifts his head when Taehyung enters. “What are you doing here?” he asks flatly.
Taehyung ignores him and lifts himself onto one of the empty tables. Jungkook is the only one working so late after school hours. He watches as the younger sketches a speaker. He’s surrounded by multiple sketches of other similar models, some with refinements, others with notes on the side. Taehyung remembers this is for his design project due at the end of the month.
“It’s a bit messy.” Taehyung observes the clutter of office supplies and papers.
Jungkook huffs. “Yah. I don’t bother you at your job.”
“You don’t bother me at all,” Taehyung finds himself saying. Jungkook’s eyes flit up to him.
“I wish you would though,” he adds quietly. Jungkook stares at him for a moment more before looking back down at his sketch. He thinks a look of guilt crosses his features, but when he looks again, Jungkook’s face is back to it’s stoic, focused self.
Taehyung once again sits in the background of Jungkook’s life, making no real difference or impact. But somehow, he doesn’t mind these quiet hours when they don’t talk or bicker. In these moments, Taehyung pretends Jungkook enjoys his company and that he actually is a part of his world. Even if just for a while.
*
The next day, Jimin catches Taehyung looking at iPads on his work desktop.
“Let me guess. Another gift for your boyfriend.”
“Not my boyfriend,” Taehyung replies. As if he needed another reminder of that.
“Why an iPad?”
“Jungkook sketches a lot and all his papers clutter his desk. Plus, I’m sure that means he’s bound to lose a few. This will help keep everything in one place. I’m reading reviews now and lots of industrial designers keep one on hand with them.”
“That’s really thoughtful of you,” Jimin murmurs. “But Tae—
“I know what you’re gonna say. It’s too much again.”
“No, I was actually going to say that Jungkook doesn’t deserve you. If he gives this gift back to you, I might actually punch at him.”
“He already doesn’t like you,” Taehyung says. But he understands his soulmate is very protective of him, ever since they became best friends in college.
Jimin huffs, opening his mouth to speak more but they’re interrupted by Minjae again. The younger apologizes, but Taehyung assures him it’s okay.
“Do you need me to review another draft?” Taehyung asks. Minjae just stares at him, eyes wide and fond as he stares at the senior. Jimin clears his throat and Minjae shakes his head, cheeks glowing.
“Ah, no. I was actually here to bring you some hot chocolate.” He drops a cup on Taehyung’s desk, the steam indicating it’s fresh. There’s also a small bag.
“There’s a cafe that opened nearby. I wanted to try it and thought you’d like something to eat as well, so I bought you a pastry.”
Taehyung blinks, feeling stunned. “Wow. Minjae-ah…thank you so much. This is so thoughtful.”
“I remembered the last time we went to get coffee you mentioned you didn’t like it.” And Taehyung chuckles at Minjae’s strong memory.
“You’re right.” He smiles at him and Minjae just gazes at him in that same warm way. “Thank you again.”
Minjae grins. “I hope you enjoy them, Taehyung.” When he walks out, Jimin whines.
“He’s so perfect. Date him! Please!”
“Minie,” Taehyung sighs. It’s looking more and more like Jimin’s suspicions about his teammate’s crush on him are appearing true.
“Jungkook’s never done anything for you. You realize that’s so unfair, right?”
Taehyung presses his lips together. He can’t respond because well, it’s true. Jungkook’s never done anything for him.
He has never minded before, but Jimin’s words cause another stirring in his gut. He’s been feeling that a lot lately. And he realizes: he doesn’t feel great about it.
But it’s Jungkook. He’s waited for years. He could wait a few more.
The next day, Taehyung finds Jungkook’s desk in the studio. He goes in extra early before his work day begins and before the students arrive. He carefully sets out the iPad, resting it on a stand he purchased. He places a few different kinds of styluses out as well, since he was sure the younger would appreciate various types to work with.
There’s also an iPad case, keyboard, and a trackpad.
Okay, maybe he spoiled him a bit. But again, it’s Jungkook.
When Taehyung is satisfied with the set up, he takes a look at the other drawings cluttering his desk. He sees there’s a scanner nearby and takes the liberty of taking them and setting them up into a folder on the tablet. The sketches are worn and a bit damaged from being left out, so Taehyung tosses them into the recycling. It’s fine now because Jungkook can easily refer back to them on the iPad while he works on his final.
Taehyung smiles to himself, proud because it’s one of the most thoughtful gifts he’s ever given to Jungkook. Plus, maybe this time the younger will actually enjoy it. Taehyung realizes he offers a lot of gifts that Jungkook could care less about: clothes, shoes, bags. Maybe Jungkook didn’t need those, but surely this will be a big help to his career.
He only wishes he could see the happy smile on his face when he arrives in an hour, but Taehyung has to get to work. No matter, he’ll wait for Jungkook’s call or pay the stubborn boy a visit later. Either way, Taehyung will be happy if Jungkook is happy with his gift.
It’s the middle of the day, Jimin and Taehyung are huddled over a grueling set of paperwork when they hear muffled yelling outside the door.
“Who’s Soobin talking to?” His new secretary sounds flustered.
“Sir…Taehyung-ssi is busy at the moment.”
“Kid, I swear to God if you don’t let me in—
Jimin glances at Taehyung, lifting a brow at him. “It sounds like—”
Jungkook. The door flies open and the younger is standing there, face red and angry. Taehyung barely gets any type of expression from the younger, but this is certainly not what he was expecting or wanting.
“Jungkook,” he starts, getting up slowly. “Are you—
“What the fuck is wrong with you?”
“E-excuse me?”
“You went through my shit. Without my permission,” Jungkook spits.
Taehyung swallows sharply, realizing he’s referring to his latest present. “Yes, but—
“Do you have any idea how fucked up that is?”
Taehyung feels a shiver run through him. Jungkook’s tone feels like a slap in the face. But it’s the fire in the younger’s eyes that has his heart breaking. He’s always wanted the younger to look at him. But not like this. Never like this.
“Yah, Jungkook-ssi,” Jimin snaps. “Don’t be mean. He was just trying to help.”
“Where are my sketches?” Jungkook asks harshly, ignoring Jimin.
Taehyung feels his blood run cold. He gnaws at his bottom lip, shame rising with every second that passes.
“Taehyung.”
He lets out a shaky exhale. “I…I threw them away,” he whispers. And the fire in Jungkook’s eyes immediately dies, replaced by a look of emptiness and maybe even disgust.
“I’m sorry,” Taehyung starts, clawing at any form of apology and desperation to try and explain, but words fail him. “I’m so sorry, Jungkook. I…I really just wanted to help. I’m so stupid—
“You are,” Jungkook interrupts coldly. His words are so sharp, stabbing Taehyung every time he opens his mouth. “I needed those for my exhibit at the end of the month, but I guess you wouldn’t know that because you don’t actually know me.”
“Jungkook—
“You know what I dislike the most about you, Taehyung?”
Taehyung’s eyes lift up slowly from where they were trained to the floor, forcing himself to look at Jungkook. To show how truly sorry he is and how he can possibly make it up to him—
“You think that you can just solve everything with gifts and money.” Jungkook’s jaw is clenched so tightly, his words come out like gravel.
“You’re so spoiled and out of touch with reality that you don’t even realize that I could never love you. I could never love someone who thinks they could buy love like you do.”
It’s the final stab into Taehyung’s wounded and broken heart. And it hurts. It hurts and cuts so deeply and painfully, he has no idea what to say. What could he say when the boy he so loved would never, ever love him?
He hears the chair next to him scrape loudly against the wooden floors. Jimin is standing now, staring daggers at Jungkook.
“You’re a fucking asshole, Jungkook,” Jimin hisses. “At least Taehyung has the balls to open his heart up to someone. He chooses to love freely and you continue to take that for granted.”
“I didn’t need any of it!”
“But you took what you wanted anyway,” Jimin snaps. “A simple thank you, a show of gratitude would have been appreciated. Tae messed up, yes. But you, Jungkook. You’ve never apologized once for how shitty you’ve treated him. Even when Taehyung continued to care for you unconditionally.”
Jungkook’s firm expression on his face wavers, just for a brief second. “Just…just leave me alone,” he utters. Taehyung can’t lift his head to look at him.
There’s footsteps and the door slams shut. And it’s then that Taehyung takes a seat and starts to sob uncontrollably. Jimin is quick to comfort him, uttering apologies and soothing words, but it doesn’t matter.
He was never a part of Jungkook’s world. No matter how hard he tried. He never would be.
*
It’s been a whole week since the iPad incident. Still, Taehyung struggles to get up in the mornings, drag himself to work, talk in meetings, and pretend that he's okay when he clearly isn’t.
Jimin does his best to cheer him up, but it’s hard. All Taehyung can see when he closes his eyes is Jungkook’s angry expression telling him over and over again to leave him alone.
It’s the end of the week when Jimin has had enough.
“Yah. Taehyung. You need to stop moping around.”
Taehyung is seated at his desk, head resting between his arms. He remains silent.
“Tae.” The blond pulls a chair and drags it over to sit next to him. “Tae, I hate seeing you like this,” Jimin whispers.
“It wasn’t your fault.”
A pause. Then: “It was.”
Taehyung sits up now, his eyes looking wet and distant. “I had to go and impose myself on Jungkook’s life like always. I only make things worse for him. I’m…I’m such a burden,” Taehyung sobs.
Jimin frowns. “I don’t know how many times I have to say this, but you only had the best of intentions. All you’ve ever done is be kind to Jungkook and he continues to take advantage of you and your generosity. Can’t you see that? I mean, think about it. Even before all of this, Jungkook was still so cruel and cold to you.”
“I guess. But he’s always been like that,” Taehyung says softly.
Except he hasn’t. Taehyung has seen the way that Jungkook interacts with friends on campus, with Yugyeom at the grocery store. It seems like it’s really just Taehyung who he can’t stand to be around.
Jimin shakes his head. “It’s unfair,” he protests. “You don’t deserve to be treated like that. You deserve someone who will care for you and appreciate you—
“Excuse me.” They lift their heads to the voice. Minjae.
“Sorry to interrupt again.”
“Ah, Minjae.” Taehyung wipes the back of his eyes. The other man notices, eyes flashing with concern for a brief second.
“Do you need anything?”
“I just came by with another pastry. You mentioned you liked strawberries? I brought you a strawberry tart this time.”
Taehyung blinks, heart swelling at the kind gesture. “Oh, Minjae. You really don’t need to keep doing this.” Minjae has been kind enough to drop off pastries, hot chocolate, anything that Taehyung could be craving every day this week. It’s sweet, literally.
“You’ve been so helpful to me since I joined the team,” he replies, eyes softening when they look at Taehyung as he takes a bite. “Plus, they make you happy.”
“Oh. I, well, that’s—
“Would you like to grab dinner tonight?”
Jimin lets out a small gasp from behind him. Taehyung’s cheeks flush red and the other man just smiles at him.
“I’m being forward and please forgive me if my willingness is inappropriate. I’d just really like to take you out on a date. If that is alright with you, of course.”
Taehyung can’t seem to say a single word. Behind him, Jimin moves out of his chair and puts a hand on his shoulder.
“Tae?”
He gulps, finally feeling like he’s processed what is going on. “You want to go out…with me?”
Minjae lets out a small exhale. He rubs the back of his neck, now looking sheepish. “I do. You’re very much out of my league, but yes.”
“Why?”
“Why? Because you’re kind and considerate of others. You’re generous with your time. And you’re beautiful.”
Taehyung’s breath hitches and he feels Jimin poke him in the ribs with his elbow. When he looks over at his best friend, the blond’s eyes are wide and pleading. Go ! he’s telling him with his eyes.
Taehyung knows he doesn’t like Minjae like that. At least, not right now. But the words strike directly into his healing heart. It’s nice to be validated and appreciated. Maybe Jimin is right.
“O-okay,” Taehyung murmurs finally. Minjae’s eyes shine. “We can go on a date.”
*
One date turns into three, and soon, Taehyung finds himself growing pretty comfortable around Minjae. He still isn’t sure if he sees Minjae the same way at all yet (it’s obvious that the other man is clearly smitten with Taehyung). But Minjae doesn’t seem to mind.
He’s picking up a small cake and some ingredients for a dinner they are planning to cook together. Minjae is experienced in the kitchen and is more than happy to teach Taehyung some easy favorites. He’s zoned out, thinking about whether he should go back and grab a spicy packet of the curry in case Minjae prefers it, when he hears the cashier clear his throat.
“Taehyung-ssi?”
When his eyes lift up, his heart drops to his stomach. “Oh, Yugyeom-ssi.”
It’s Wednesday. He’s in the grocery store. Jungkook’s shift.
Oh, God.
“Hey, it’s been a while. You haven’t stopped since the last time. Everything okay?”
Taehyung nods, desperately wishing for Yugyeom to finish scanning his items before—
“Hey, Yugs, do you have an extra scanner—-”
There’s a heavy silence that takes over as Jungkook’s eyes lock on Taehyung’s own. Yugyeom stares curiously between the two.
“Ah, yeah. Here.” Yugyeom takes the device out of his apron pocket, handing it to Jungkook. The other takes it wordlessly, still staring at Taehyung with a hard gaze.
Taehyung opens his mouth to speak, but Jungkook beats him. “What are you doing here?”
Taehyung licks his bottom lip, fists balled by his sides. “Jungkook—
“I told you to leave me alone.”
“Jungkook,” Yugyeom admonishes, a look of surprise crossing his features.
“I’m sorry,” Taehyung murmurs. “I didn’t mean to bother you, I swear.”
“You always say that,” Jungkook snaps. Yugyeom frowns at his friend.
Taehyung sighs. “I know. I said I was sorry.”
“You’re acting like an asshole,” Yugyeom says under his breath, as he continues to scan the items, all while Jungkook is still glaring at Taehyung. For a brief second, he glances at the items Yugyeom is bagging. He scoffs when he notices.
“Tonkatsu ingredients?”
Taehyung sighs, realizing how bad this looks. “Jungkook, it’s not—
“Save it, Taehyung. Also, don’t bother trying to win me over. You’ve already caused enough problems for me. Like you always do.”
Yugyeom huffs, fed up with his friend’s behavior. “Yah. I don’t know what the hell is wrong with you, but settle this elsewhere. You’re embarrassing him and acting selfish, Jungkook.”
Jungkook’s eyes flash. “If anyone is selfish, it’s Taehyung.” Taehyung lifts his head at the word.
Selfish…?
For once, the words Jungkook has spoken since the incident don’t make Taehyung feel guilty. Maybe it’s being cared for the past few days or maybe it’s the realization that he isn’t the things Jungkook has said about him. His jaw is clenched hard.
He slaps his wallet down against the counter in frustration, causing Yugyeom to jump.
“Why do you hate me so much?”
A look of hesitancy crosses Jungkook before he responds. “Do I have to answer? I think what you did last week was pretty self-explanatory.”
“Okay, yes. Fine, I fucked up. And I apologized. I’ve tried to reach out to you multiple times, I even contacted the recycling company that works for your university! I tried to fix things and I’m sorry. But you’ve…you’ve always been horrible to me for no reason.”
Jungkook’s hard gaze flickers at that. Taehyung could swear the younger winces at his words, but he doesn’t hold his breath. He’s too busy telling Jungkook off.
“All I’ve ever wanted from you was to like me. No matter how many times you shut me down or shut me out, I always came back to you. And you’ve never thanked me. I may give too much, but all you do is take,” Taehyung says sharply.
Yugyeom has finished bagging his groceries, too busy gaping at Taehyung with a look of shock and disbelief.
“You’re the selfish one, Jungkook,” Taehyung finishes. “If you want me to leave you alone, don’t worry. I will.”
Jungkook’s mouth parts, eyes now longer fiery with anger. Instead, it’s replaced with a different look altogether that he’s never seen before. Taehyung can’t distinguish it nor does he bother contemplating it, either. He grabs his bags and walks away before he can hear any kind of retort from the younger.
He gets in his car and drives to Minjae’s apartment for their date, but even as he laughs and cooks alongside his charming and kind coworker, his heart still feels so empty.
*
Slowly but surely, as the week continues, Taehyung manages the strength to push forward with his life. Jimin thinks he’s re-gaining his color and Taehyung finds reasons to smile again.
As always, there’s going to be a hiccup. That hiccup being another dinner with his father and Jungkook, of course. Jimin urges him to skip, but Taehyung shakes his head. He’ll be mature and endure it.
The air is undeniably awkward, but his father makes up for it by talking most of the time. Listing the many company achievements that he’s managed to meet so far, impressive partnerships, etc; things Taehyung doesn’t care too much about, but knows his father is passionate about.
He takes a glance at Jungkook who is pushing his food around with his chopsticks rather nervously. He’s been more fidgety than usual and Taehyung feels foolish for still paying such close attention to him.
He gets a text from Minjae halfway through dinner. He takes a glance at his phone under the table.
Minjae, 7:35 PM: Hi, Taehyung! Do you want me to buy lunch for us tomorrow?
Taehyung can’t help, but give off a small smile. Minjae is always buying food during the weekdays.
Taehyung, 7:36 PM: It’s okay! I’ll bring us lunch this time.
Minjae, 7:36 PM: Looking forward to it <3
Taehyung gulps. He definitely wants to pay it forward to Minjae. He wants to cook another meal for him, maybe mackerel and seasoned rice this time, since Minjae has been so kind to him and he’s been starting to enjoy cooking meals from scratch.
Minjae has been itching to formally ask Taehyung to be his boyfriend (word around the office spreads fast), and Taehyung wonders if he should just be honest or wait until that moment. He still doesn’t know why he would hold back from a seemingly perfect relationship like that—
“Taehyung.”
“Hm?” He lifts his head, feeling slightly embarrassed. But then he realizes it’s Jungkook who called him.
“Your father had to go. Something about an emergency meeting at the office.”
“Oh.” Taehyung gnaws at his bottom lip, realizing it’s just him and Jungkook now. “What did he leave off on?”
Jungkook’s eyes flit to the phone in Taehyung’s hand for a second. “Just school expenses again,” he mutters.
“Oh, okay. I can get that information from him tomorrow and have him email you or something.”
Taehyung can’t help, but ask. “Is…is there something new he was supposed to know about?”
A look of conflict crosses Jungkook’s features. He sighs before responding. “There’s an extra course I need to take.”
Taehyung nods. “Okay, sure. Dad gets bills from the school directly. I’m sure he’ll be aware once you sign up.”
“It’s a loan,” Jungkook interrupts suddenly. “I’ll pay him back.”
Taehyung blinks. “There’s no need, Jungkook. You know how close our fathers were, even before your dad…you know…
Taehyung fumbles with the words. Jungkook sighs again.
“Passed away, yeah.”
“Yeah,” he affirms softly, knowing this is a touchy subject for anyone, but especially Jungkook. “And my dad considers you his second son, so it’s a joy for him to send you to grad school.”
Taehyung debates being so kind to Jungkook after everything. But he can’t help it right now.
“I don’t like it, though.”
“What?”
Jungkook’s mouth clamps shut as if he already said too much. Taehyung lets out an exhale.
“Okay. I won’t force you to talk. But, whatever is in your head about my dad’s intentions are most definitely wrong. He’s a workaholic, yes. And sometimes is super scatterbrained, but he wants this for you.”
I do, too , Taehyung thinks to himself.
Jungkook licks at his bottom lip. “I just want to earn this on my own, sometimes. But no matter how many side-jobs or internships I do, I still wouldn’t be able to afford it by myself.”
Taehyung blinks, understanding now. “Do you feel like it’s a hand-out? Do you think my dad feels sorry for you?”
Jungkook pauses then nods weakly.
“Jungkook, that’s not the case at all. I mean, it’s impressive to be able to do everything by yourself, but there’s no shame in getting help when you need it. Just because you need a bit of financial aid for school won’t mean that you don’t deserve your diploma by the end of it. It’s not like my father is paying for your good grades or your internships. You earned all that and you should be proud of yourself.”
“Sometimes I feel that way too,” Taehyung admits. He thinks about his classmates in his business classes who admonished him for having a rich father. For assuming he bought his way into one of the most prestigious finance schools in Korea. He tells this to Jungkook who watches him with an indistinguishable look on his face as he describes his failed accounting courses and late-night studying where he barely ate and slept. The desire to prove his worth to others.
“The hardest part is telling yourself that you deserve good things. And that only comes from learning to love yourself. You can’t really love anything in life until you take that first step.”
Jungkook stares at him for a while. “Do you love yourself?” he asks softly.
“I’m learning to,” Taehyung admits. “Getting there.”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t know that people at university felt that way about you,” Jungkook says suddenly.
Surprise takes over him at the sudden apology. Taehyung offers him a small, sad smile. “There’s a reason I bugged you so much. I didn’t really have many friends, until Jimin, so.”
Jungkook blinks. Then: “I’m sorry for what I said to you also.”
“Hm?”
“In your office, a few days ago. You…you didn’t deserve that. I was out of line and I’m sorry.”
Taehyung’s heart can’t help but flip at the second apology from Jungkook. “I really didn’t mean to mess up your project, Jungkook.”
The younger shakes his head. “You were trying to help. I shouldn’t have called you selfish. And I shouldn’t have been so hard on you.”
“You’re always hard on me,” he replies softly. Taehyung can’t help but say that and Jungkook’s eyes flicker at the words.
“Well,” Taehyung switches, feeling bad about ruining the moment. “I guess dinner is done now. I don’t want to hold you up anymore.”
He gets up, but something stops him. He looks down at Jungkook’s hand, holding his wrist gently. Sparks shoot up his arm involuntarily. Jungkook’s never touched him before.
“Wait. Do you forgive me?”
Taehyung’s breath hitches. “W-what?”
“Do you forgive me?” Jungkook repeats meekly, eyes still trained on Taehyung’s face. “I need to know that you forgive me.”
Taehyung thinks for a second. “Well, do you want forgiveness?” He recalls the times Jungkook’s always shut him out. He can’t help but remember the way Jungkook told him to leave him alone. If he really wants him out then there’s no need for this. Unless—
“I do,” he says firmly. “And not because I want to feel good, but because you deserve an apology. And I just wanted to make sure that you knew I meant it.”
The words strike directly to Taehyung’s heart and it’s so painful looking at Jungkook like this because he’s still…so in love with him. He swallows sharply, pushing those thoughts away again.
“Yes,” Taehyung says softly, believing it fully and drinking in Jungkook’s warm expression now. “Don’t feel sorry anymore, okay?”
He means that too.
*
“So he apologized? Just like that?”
“Yeah.”
Jimin tuts. “Wow. That’s a first.”
“Minie…”
“It’s true!” Jimin leans back in his chair. Taehyung has just told him everything that happened the night prior.
“I forgive him and we’re okay now. We’re moving on,” Taehyung says, voice sounding strained. He tries not to think about loving Jungkook anymore. He doesn’t want to put himself through that, but he’s very happy they’re better now.
Jimin squints at him. “If you say so.” He gets up and Taehyung pouts at him.
“Don’t give me that look!”
Jimin laughs loudly. “I’m gonna grab lunch with Yoongi. Wanna come?”
“Can’t. But I’ll come next time.”
Jimin wiggles his eyebrows at him. “Minjae?”
“Yah!” Taehyung frowns. “It’s not like that.” Because it really isn’t.
Jimin shrugs. “I’ll catch you later!” And Taehyung waves him off. It’s a few more minutes until Minjae’s meeting ends so Taehyung finishes some extra work, while thinking about lunch. Maybe they can eat outside. The weather is so nice.
There’s a knock on his door, surprising Taehyung. But when he calls for the person to come in, he certainly doesn’t expect to find Jeon Jungkook there when he looks up from his papers.
“Oh. Hi.” Taehyung gets up slowly. Jungkook stares at him with wide eyes and a slightly flustered look on his face. “Do you need something?”
He shakes his head. “I, uh…I just wanted to visit you for once. You always see me, so I wanted to…try this time,” he finishes lamely.
Taehyung blinks, confused. “You visit me.” To return gifts , he thinks bitterly.
“Well, yeah. But that’s different.” So, he thinks the same. Jungkook bites his lip. “Maybe you could show me what you’re doing for work?”
Taehyung stares at him before letting out a small laugh. It’s ridiculously awkward and Jungkook looks funny dressed in khaki work pants and an apron. He must have come from the studio and forgotten to change.
Still, Taehyung thinks the effort is cute.
He’s explaining some dashboards he keeps updated on a daily basis and tries not to melt at Jungkook’s endearingly confused expression at the spreadsheet formulas when there’s another knock on the door and Minjae walks in.
“Oh, was I interrupting a meeting?”
“No, you’re okay, Minjae-ah,” Taehyung says. The other man smiles at him, all bright and big like always. Jungkook stiffens next to him.
“This is Jeon Jungkook, he’s a friend. Minjae is also my…friend from work.”
The corner of Minjae’s mouth lifts a bit at the pause before friend. “Nice to meet you.” He shakes Jungkook’s hand and the younger has a small look of annoyance on his face.
“You too,” he grumbles.
“Are you ready?” Minjae asks, directing his attention to Taehyung now. Taehyung nods excitedly, reaching into his desk to grab the two lunch boxes.
“You cooked this time?” Minjae smiles widely. “Wow, you spoil me too much.” Taehyung laughs at that.
Jungkook clears his throat. “You made him lunch?” he asks softly.
Taehyung feels a weird stirring in his gut with how Jungkook looks at him. “Yeah. I did.”
“Oh.” Jungkook’s brows pinch together, a small frown drawn on his lips.
They say goodbye and Taehyung can only think about the interaction during lunch. It’s strange, but what’s more strange is Jungkook showing up the next day to visit Taehyung again. Then, the next day. And the day after. And so on.
He doesn’t do much. Sometimes he asks him questions about his day, but other times he works on his iPad silently. And Taehyung feels thrilled in those moments to find that Jungkook still uses his gift.
Still, he’s so wary of whatever is going on. It’s so new for him! To have Jungkook going out his way to see him. He still isn’t sure why, either. Does he want to be friends? Does he still feel guilty about what happened? Does he need something?
One day, Jungkook brings back the Bento brand lunchbox he gave him. Taehyung’s gut coils.
“You’re giving this back?” Taehyung questions softly, the familiar feeling of rejection looming over him. “Do you not want it?”
Jungkook opens and closes his mouth. He’s silent for a bit. Then, “Yes. Well, also no. I don’t know.”
“So you don’t want it back?”
“I just think you can keep it. If you need to make lunch or something,” Jungkook explains lamely.
Taehyung tilts his head. He already has a lunchbox. Many, actually.
“Or for someone,” he hears Jungkook mumble. His eyes lift up, staring at him, but Jungkook’s already put his headphones back on and is back to sketching.
The next day, Taehyung makes lunch for himself and makes extra for Jungkook. There’s a small fear, lodged in the back of his mind as he packs the lunch so neatly for him. He swings by the grocery store and finds Yugyeom sweeping outside.
“Taehyung, hi,” Yugyeom greets.
“Hey.” Taehyung smiles, he’s running late to a meeting so he hands Yugyeom the lunchbox. “Would you give this to Jungkook for me?”
“Ah, sure. I’m guessing you guys are okay now?”
“I’d think so.” Still, there’s a nervous fluttering in his chest at the thought of giving another gift to Jungkook. Even if it is just lunch.
“He’s stubborn. But I can tell he really likes you.”
Taehyung flushes. “That’s not true.”
“It is,” Yugyeom insists kindly. And Taehyung tries not to let the words affect him too much.
Although nothing could prepare Taehyung for Jungkook showing up at his apartment complex when he walks home that night.
“Jungkook?” he calls. The younger whips around, eyes blowing wide at the sight of him.
“What are you doing here?”
Jungkook tugs at his ear. “I was waiting for you.” Taehyung’s heart skips a beat.
“You were?”
“Yeah. Thank you for making me lunch. I loved it.”
“Oh.” Taehyung’s cheeks heat up. “You’re welcome. I’m glad you enjoyed it.” He bites his lip.
“Is that why you gave me the lunchbox back?”
Now it’s Jungkook’s turn to blush. He doesn’t respond and Taehyung finds his shyness endearing.
“What’s that?” Taehyung asks suddenly, noting the medium-sized poster Jungkook is holding.
The younger chews at his bottom lip. “It’s…it’s a gift. For you.”
“You got me a gift?” Taehyung breathes, unable to believe what he’s hearing.
“I did.”
Jungkook closes his eyes briefly then sticks his arms out, almost like a child handing his crush a flower. Taehyung stares at him.
“It’s yours.”
Taehyung swallows, taking the poster in his hands. He turns it over slowly and lets out a small gasp.
It’s a digital watercolor painting of…him. He’s painted in hues of orange, blues, purples, and yellows. Like a setting sun. It’s a side-profile image, but it’s him.
“Jungkook,” Taehyung whispers, voice shaky. “You did this?”
“I used the iPad you gave me and printed it out at the studio this morning.”
Taehyung’s eyes blow open. “That’s what you were doing in my office this whole time?” And Jungkook nods.
“Why?”
“Because you always get me gifts. And I wanted to give you something this time because…”
Taehyung holds his breath. Jungkook stares at him in the way he’s always dreamed, but in real life, it’s much better.
“I’m an idiot,” Jungkook mutters suddenly. Taehyung snorts. He certainly wasn’t expecting that, but it does break the serious mood.
“I don’t know what I’m doing,” Jungkook admits. “But I do know that I was always wrong about you. And even then, you always cared about me and wanted the best for me. And I don’t deserve you.”
Taehyung blinks at him, and Jungkook continues.
“I’ve liked you since I met you,” the younger confesses. Taehyung’s mouth parts.
“But you told me to leave you alone. You always did.”
“You were way out of my imagination and I just never understood what you saw in me. I guess you’re right. I didn’t love myself.” Jungkook sighs.
“It was hard because you had everything to give and I had nothing. Then when my dad passed away, maybe I was also just jealous and sad of the life you had. I was forced to go to your family for money and support and it was embarrassing.”
“Jungkook,” Taehyung murmurs.
“So all my feelings for you turned really ugly and I treated you horribly because I didn’t know what else to do. I thought you shouldn’t be wasting your time on me. And I’m so sorry, Taehyung. I know that this doesn’t even make up for a quarter of what I’ve done, but…I just had to tell you. I’m so sorry for hurting you.”
“Gukkie.” Taehyung cuts off his rambling. The younger halts mid-sentence. They lock gazes and Taehyung remembers—
“I love you, Jungkook. Everything about you,” he murmurs. The younger lets out a sharp inhale.
“Do you still want me to leave you alone?” Taehyung asks, heart beating wildly in his chest.
“No. Never.” The younger takes a step toward him. “I…I love you, too. I think I always have, I just—I’m stubborn, you know.”
Taehyung lets out a wet laugh. “Yeah.”
“I liked when you took care of me, too.”
Taehyung hums. Jungkook takes his hand, intertwining them together. He’s so warm.
“Spoiled,” he teases.
Jungkook laughs, then he pouts a bit. “So, does that mean you’ll stop making lunches for that other guy?”
Taehyung tilts his head at that. “Minjae?”
“Whatever.”
Taehyung giggles. “Yah! He’s a good friend.”
“He likes you.”
“He does.” Taehyung secretly relishes in Jungkook’s cute jealousy. “But I like you , bun.”
Jungkook blushes again and Taehyung can’t help but lean in and kiss him on the cheek, just like always he did. But this time, Jungkook grabs the back of his nape and pulls him close, pressing their mouths together firmly.
They kiss for a long time, reveling in their lost time and whispering funny and sweet words to each other. Taehyung thinks this will be the best gift Jungkook has ever given him.
You found me, you knew me
You gave me the best of me
So you'll give you the best of you
BTS, Magic Shop