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Robin prided himself on many things. His fighting ability, his observational skills, his problem solving, just to name a few. His time with Batman focused on perfecting every aspect of his superhero persona, working day in and day to keep a level head.
Living with four other teenagers proved that even the most trained of leaders lose their cool sometimes.
Sometimes it was Beast Boy, with the gamestation blaring from the living room at 3 in the morning. Other times, it was Cyborg, not telling anyone that they’d run out of lunch meats after he’d stacked a half pound of ham on his sandwich. On occasion, even Starfire would be on the receiving end of Robin’s fits, frustrated with the sludge Silkie would produce when overfed. Raven, though, he never snapped at.
The sorceress was smart, considerate, and aware. He’d always admired these qualities in someone. Raven had looked over evidence and helped Robin put things together more times than he could count. She’d somehow ended up with the responsibility of buying cleaning supplies for the tower, and Robin noted that they always had whatever they needed to tidy up Beast Boy’s catastrophes. She never left a mess behind, and had cleaned up after the others on multiple occasions. She was a logical, rational thinker. He didn’t have to worry about her.
Robin figured that was why he was so angry.
In hindsight, he realized, it was a mistake anyone could have made. The scene was messy, with something happening everywhere you turned. Starfire and Beast Boy had set to work on clearing away the crowds, while the others worked on taking Cinderblock down.
It had been going well. Raven was able to restrain Cinderblock, while Cyborg and Robin worked together with physical attacks to get the villain to his knees. Raven stood behind Cinderblock, arms out stretched towards him as her black energy surrounded him. The thud that rang out as the mass of stone fell to his knees was loud enough to almost make Raven lose focus, but she held on and kept him restrained.
But eventually, her guard fell.
Robin and Cyborg stood in front of Cinderblock, now targeting his head in the hopes of knocking him out. The Boy Wonder took note of his inability to see Raven, but determined she would be fine on her own.
The more Robin thought about it, the more he realized that the entire scenario likely could have been prevented had he just yelled for Beast Boy or Starfire to help her. But he was stubborn, and he pushed the blame off.
Robin watched as the black energy surrounding Cinderblock flickered, and then faded. He darted around the mass of stone, eyes narrowing in anger at the sight before him. Red-X had Raven pinned against the wall, his right arm pressed against her windpipe. Raven’s eyes were wide with what Robin could only describe as a mix of terror and… defeat? Robin watched as the villain’s left hand dropped to the small of her back.
“Get off her, X!” Robin yelled, charging at the masked thief. Red X leaned down to Raven, whispering something in her ear, before dropping her and facing Robin.
“Long time, no see, buddy. I’m glad you didn’t forget about me.” X’s crackly voice spoke through his mask. Robin ignored the taunting and looked past his opponent, glancing at the sorceress behind him.
“Raven, go help Cyborg!” he called out, extending his bo-staff. Raven sat where she was, frozen, with a look of panic stuck on her face. “Raven, go!” he yelled again. This time, Raven stood shakily and began her sprint to Cyborg. Robin returned his attention to the masked thief in front of him. “What do you want, X?” he growled. Red-X laughed.
“Just needed to have a little chat with Raven, is all.” he nodded his head towards the sorceress. “Ya should probably keep an eye on her for a bit, I don’t know if she’ll have any side effects.” Robin glared at him.
“Side effects?” The Boy Wonder snarled. “What the fuck did you do to her?” The villain laughed.
“Fuck if I know. Something to block her powers, I think?” Robin glared at Red-X, who just shrugged. “Wasn’t my idea, Chuckles. Just doing what I was paid to do.”
“How do I know you’re telling the truth?” The Boy Wonder questioned, tightening his grip. Red-X shrugged again.
“I guess you can watch her try to battle and probably get killed, but,” Robin could practically feel the smirk on X’s face, “we all know you’d never let something happen to one of your teammates, right?” Robin felt his anger rising as he glanced at the dark sorceress. The distressed look on her face was one he hadn’t seen in some time.
“Cy, my powers aren’t working!” Raven yelled to the cybernetic teen, dodging falling debris. “I’m gonna distract him, I’ll tell you when to go!” Cyborg looked hesitant, but nodded anyways.
“Raven, get out of here!” Robin yelled to her. The girl spared him a glance, before looking back at the mass of rock looming over her. Robin caught the look of confusion coming from Beast Boy.
“Hey!” She yelled up, catching Cinderblock’s attention. “I heard you’re dumb as rocks, care to prove it?” With a roar, he lifted a foot, ready to step on Raven, but she darted out just in time. “Gonna have to be faster than that!” She taunted over her shoulder, not letting up her sprint. As the monster followed her, Robin felt his heart slamming in his chest.
“Aren’t you supposed to go save her now or something?” X asked, breaking Robin’s concentration on Raven. The hero grabbed X by his shoulders and threw him against the same brick wall he’d had Raven up against.
“You figure out what the fuck you did to her,” he seethed, “and you figure out how to stop it. I will fucking end you if you don’t.” With that, Robin left X and dashed towards the chaos. He focused in on Raven, watching as she sprinted towards the piers. Robin smiled in spite of his anger, knowing that Raven would be leading Cinderblock away from any civilians. The smile fell quickly, however, when he remembered the direct order he’d given her to get the fuck out of there.
“Beast Boy!” Robin called to the changeling. “I need you to get Raven out of there. Be as quick as you can!” With a nod, the green boy took the form of a cheetah and darted to where the dark girl was dodging Cinderblock’s massive foot steps. Robin watched in horror as Raven’s cloak was pinned under one of the villain’s feet, yanking her backwards mid sprint. The Boy Wonder let out a sigh of relief as Raven managed to unclasp her cloak just in time for Beast Boy to tackle her out of harm’s way.
“Cyborg,” Robin commanded as the teens regrouped in an alley. “Get Raven home, run scans and see if you can find out what X did.” The half-robot nodded, grabbing Raven’s wrist.
“But-!”
“No ‘but’s. What you did was stupid and immature. You put yourself in danger after being given direct instructions to get out of harm’s way. Go. Home.” Robin glared at the girl, noting her flinch, before turning his eyes to Cyborg. “If you find anything, call me immediately.” He turned to face Beast Boy and Starfire. “We need to get Cinderblock down.”
XxX
“Nothing. Whatever X did to her, my systems can’t pick it up.” Cyborg spoke aloud. He’d spent the past four hours running tests on Raven, all of them coming up totally normal. Robin and Cyborg sat staring at a computer, while Raven sat on a bed in the med bay across the room from them with her arms crossed.
“So can I go now?” Raven asked. “It’s been hours. I’m tired and I want to sleep in my own bed.”
“I don’t think we’ll have any answers tonight, so I’ll go ahead and say yes to that.” Raven gave the cybernetic man a small smile of gratitude.
“Before you go,” Robin started, watching her flinch again. Choosing to ignore it for the time being, he continued. “What do you remember? Did X hurt you?” Raven glanced up at him, but only for a second. She refused to meet his gaze.
“I don’t know.” She answered, staring at her hand. “I felt a prick in the back of my neck. But if we can’t find anything in my system, then…” Raven trailed off, shrugging. Robin took a step forward, placing a supportive hand on her shoulder.
That’s what he had meant to do, at least.
Raven immediately flinched again and threw her shoulder back, away from his hand. Her violet eyes were wide with fear, and she hoped that Robin wasn’t looking close enough to notice her shaking.
“Please don’t touch me.” Her voice was quiet, something that shocked him. It carried more emotion than her usual monotone. Cyborg and Robin glanced between each other. Sure, the girl had never liked physical contact, but flinching was a new habit for her.
“Raven?” Cyborg asked, cautiously. “Is there something we need to know about?” She immediately shook her head no, and stood up from the hospital bed.
“Look, I’m really tired. I’m gonna get some sleep. Maybe that’s all it is,” Raven reasoned, “maybe whatever he meant to do never even worked and I’m just too exhausted to use my powers.” The boys exchanged skeptical looks, earning an eye roll from Raven.
“I’ll see you two in the morning, have a good night.”
They watched as the young woman walked out of the med bay, clutching her cloak to herself like a security blanket. Cyborg turned to face Robin.
“That was weird, right?” Cyborg asked, questioning himself.
“Definitely weird.” Robin responded, nodding. He looked up to the older teen. “Have you ever seen her flinch?” Cyborg shook his head.
“Never.”
“She flinched before, too.” Robin stated. “In the alleyway.” He ran a hand through his hair in frustration. “Red X said something to her.” Cyborg raised an eyebrow. “I don’t know what, but it must have been right after he got to the back of her neck.” He spoke, replaying the events in his head. Robin’s face screwed up in disgust.
“What?” Cyborg asked, seeing the look on
his face.
“X touched her back.” He sneered. “Like, almost grabbed her ass.” Cyborg’s jaw dropped.
“Can’t believe she didn’t chop his hand off.” Cyborg joked. Robin nodded, but was deep in thought.
The same look Raven had when X attacked her had appeared on her face both times he was speaking to her. He made note of the fact that her standing with Cyborg seemed otherwise normal.
“Did she say anything while you were running the tests?” Robin asked. Cyborg shrugged.
“She was being as normal as Raven gets.” He responded. “She’s a tough nut to crack, I’m sure she’s just freaked out by this whole thing and doesn’t know how to handle it. Just give her some time.” Robin nodded at his friend’s words.
Time. That was all she needed. She’ll come around.
XxX
It got worse.
Robin didn’t think it could, but it did.
Raven stopped leaving her room unless it was absolutely necessary. She avoided everyone, but not the way she ignored Robin. She was actively avoiding him and she was making it very clear. If he entered the common room while she was there, she waited until he was away from the double doors before practically sprinting out and back to her room, even leaving her tea kettle to whistle until someone finally stood up and turned it off.
Robin had started staying in the common room more than he normally would, hoping that the sorceress would slip in and he’d be able to speak to her, but he hadn’t had any luck.
She’d been somewhat jumpy around the others, but not avoidant. He couldn’t understand what he had done to upset her so much. But he was going to find out.
That was how Robin found himself staking out in the common room at two in the morning, waiting for any sign of the dark girl to enter. If he was right, she’d be sneaking out to make her tea at any moment.
As if on cue, the doors to the common area slid open and revealed the small frame he had barely seen over the past week. At the sight of the Boy Wonder sitting at the kitchen table, she almost began to run, but he called out to her.
“Raven?” His voice was calm.
“Hi.” Her voice came out as a squeak, startling the boy slightly. His eyes gave her a once over, taking in her night time attire which consisted of an oversized black hoodie and black athletic shorts. Her legs looked smaller, he noticed, and her cheeks were more sunken in than they’d been before. Was she not eating?
“Everything okay?” Robin asked.
“Yes.” She responded simply. A few moments of silence fell over the two as she moved towards the kitchenette to start boiling water.
“You’ve been pretty quiet lately.” Robin observed. She nodded, not trusting her voice. “Anything on your mind?”
“I don’t want to talk to you.” Robin barely heard her. The admission was quiet, faint enough to make Robin question if she’d said it or not. “I’m sorry.” Okay, so she definitely did say that.
“Did I do something to upset you?” Robin asked. Raven shook her head. “So you’re not mad at me?” She shook her head again. “Why don’t you want to talk about this?” He questioned. “Whatever’s wrong, we can fix it, but only if we talk about it.” Robin urged. He watched as she sighed and turned, finally facing him. Her eyes still wouldn’t meet his. She leaned against the kitchen counter, her arms crossed defensively over her chest.
“I don’t know what’s wrong.” She answered him. She still wouldn’t meet his eyes.
“That’s not the truth.” Raven mentally cursed the bond. Even without her powers, it was still there. Their lack of contact over the week had made it weaker, but not enough to break. “Is it something X did?” He took her silence as a yes. “Raven, that wasn’t me. You know that.” He pleaded. Raven kept her gaze fixed on the floor. “Rae, plea-“
“Don’t call me that.” She cut him off. “That’s not my name.” Robin closed his eyes in frustration as he took a deep breath.
“Raven, please. I need you to listen to me on this.” He stood from his seat at the kitchen table and took a step forward, not missing how she pressed herself further against the counter. “That wasn’t me. I was with you guys. I promise.” He took his chances and stepped forward again. “Look at me, Raven.”
“No.” Her eyes stayed glued to the ground, but Robin thought he saw tears welling up in them. “Please, just let it go.”
“I can’t let it go, Raven.” His voice was lacking it’s normal leadership edge, replaced with a tone of compassion. “You’re my best friend. I want you to be okay. I want us to be okay. This entire week has sucked without you.” He stared down at her, hoping she would just look at him. He couldn’t figure out what he’d done to make her so upset, but he knew her eyes were a dead giveaway. Clearly, she knew that too, since she wouldn’t look at him.
Silence overcame the two once more, and Robin sighed in frustration. His chest felt tight looking at the sorceress in front of him. She held herself, like she was trying to keep herself from falling apart right in front of him.
“We can’t make it better if we don’t work through it.” He told her.
“I’m scared of you.” Robin gaped at the girl before him, unable to believe what he was hearing.
“You’re scared of me?” He echoed. Raven numbly nodded, staring at the mug of tea she held in her hands. “What did I do?”
“Nothing.” She answered quickly. Robin raised an eyebrow, but Raven was still focused on her tea. “Really, you didn’t do anything. I think it was whatever X injected me with. All I know is that’s when it started.” Robin stayed silent, thinking over the statement.
“You know I’d never hurt you, right?” Raven stayed quiet for a moment before she shrugged. “Raven…” She was scared of him? Raven, who had literally been to hell and back, who was, without a doubt in his mind, the most powerful Titan, was scared of him?
“When X first showed up,” Raven began, placing her mug down beside her and wringing her fingers together, “I didn’t know what to think. I couldn’t see you. I was still able to feel you, but in the moment, I couldn’t tell where you were, and I- I just.. fuck.” she paused, taking a deep breath. “I really thought it was you.” For the first time in seven days, Robin watched as she almost looked him in the eyes.
She couldn’t make it past his upper lip.
“And I couldn’t bring myself to do anything. I couldn’t fight back.” She turned her head over her right shoulder, staring down at the marble countertop.
Silence followed her statement.
“I’m sorry.” The words finally came after ten minutes of silence. The apology came from the wrong person, Robin decided.
“I should have never made the suit.” He responded. Raven shrugged her shoulders.
“You did what you had to do.” The sorceress spoke, though he could still hear the shakiness in her words.
“I did what I thought I had to do.” He stepped forward again, and Raven quickly realized she couldn’t back herself away from him any more. The corner of the counter had her trapped. “But it cost me your trust.” He was less than a foot away from her now, and he picked up on her rapid breathing. He took a step back. “I’m sorry I was stupid enough to think that Red-X was my only choice. I’m sorry that it damaged my relationship with the team. But most of all,” he took a deep breath, “most of all, I’m sorry that you can’t look at me because of it.”
Robin watched as the tears finally rolled down her cheeks. For another fifteen seconds, she stared at the floor, before her eyes finally met his.
“I’m so sorry.”
Robin watched in shock as the strongest woman he’d ever met started crying. He fought the urge to pull her close to his chest. Instead, he watched as she covered her hands with her face.
“I’m so, so sorry.” She sobbed. “You’re my best friend and I’m scared of you. I’m fucking pathetic.”
He stared, unbelieving of what he was seeing. Raven was breaking down in front of him. And apologizing?
Robin’s next move wasn’t calculated, but he took the risk instead. In one quick motion, pulled Raven in to his arms and brought the two of them down on to the kitchen floor. He tucked himself in to the corner of the kitchen counter and scooped Raven in to his lap. Wrapping one arm around her waist and placing the other on top of her head, he started his best attempts to soothe her. She tensed, but slowly relaxed further in to his chest.
“You’re okay.” He cooed. “I’ve got you, and I’m never going to hurt you. I promise.”
“I’m sorry,” she cried in to his chest, “I didn’t know what to do and I didn’t know how to try and talk to you about it. A- and you were upset with me after the fight and I didn’t know wha-“
“Raven, relax.” He spoke, cutting off the rambling girl. “I was worried about you. I’m not mad. Everything is okay.”
“Not if I’m scared of you!” She sobbed. “You’re the only person I was ever able to trust and now you terrify me! And I don’t fucking know why!” Robin frowned, and began running his hand through her hair. A few moments of silence passed, and Raven caught her breath. The tears had ceased. Her next words caught him off guard.
“I’m leaving tomorrow night.” He pulled back, looking at her incredulously.
“What?”
“I have friends in Jersey. I’m going to stay with them.” She replied. Robin shook his head.
“Why?” He asked, trying to keep the anger out of his voice.
“I can’t stay.” She told him. Robin noticed as she snuggled further in to his chest. He told himself the burning feeling in his gut was normal. “I’m no good to the team right now. I have no powers, and I can’t be around you without having an anxiety attack.”
“We can figure something out, Raven.” His hand moved from her waist to her chin, tilting her head up to look at him. “But we can’t lose you. I can’t lose you again.” Robin watched as Raven squeezed her eyes shut, willing away the next wave of tears.
“What if they never come back? My powers?” She asked. “I’ll be as worthless as he said I was.” Her voice trailed off at the end, but Robin was still able to hear her.
“Who said that?” Robin asked.
“Yo-“ Raven sighed, cutting herself off. “X.”
“Raven, I promise it wasn’t me.” He swore again.
“I know,” she responded, closing her eyes. “I know. I just-“ She paused, pinching the bridge of her nose. “He said he was you. Between being able to feel you and not knowing who he was, it all felt so real.”
“Wait, he said he was me?” Raven nodded. “What did he say?”
“He said he needed to prove to the rest of the team that I’m worthless.” She looked up at him. “He said he already knew how worthless I was and that he’d tried telling everyone else, but they wouldn’t listen. He said he had to show them.” She let out a humorless laugh. “And he was right.”
“Raven, he’s wrong.” Robin’s voice was firm, before taking on a lighter tone. “Besides, who said you need powers to be a hero?” He asked, smiling slightly. Raven smiled back. “What can I do to help you?” He questioned, looking down at her.
“Can…” She paused, looking down at her fingers. She wrung them together nervously, a habit Robin had noticed as of late. “Can we just stay like this for a bit?” Robin smiled and tightened his grip on her. Deciding to take his chances, he leaned down and placed a kiss on her forehead, hearing her sharp intake of breath.
“You don’t even have to ask.” He muttered in to her hair.