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r/Relationship_advice • Posted by u/JuYang 10 hours ago edited 1 hr. ago

Ok so I [22M] dated this girl [21F] a while back in highschool. We were introduced by a mutual friend [22M] and long story short we dated for about a year then broke up. It wasn’t a bad break up,it was pretty mutual and we said we would still be friends, but it kind of never ended up happening. I mean, we text each other once a month and talk even less. Honestly I think the only reason we ever talk to each other is because of our mutual friends. Anyways, we’re on talking terms but not really close anymore. It was a while back too, so I’ve pretty much gotten over it now.

The problem is that lately she’s become friends with a guy [22M] I’ve known from childhood. Idk how to explain it but we’ve never gotten along but we always hang out since we’re both good friends with the mutual friend I mentioned earlier so I’ve known him pretty much all my life. He’s the infuriatingly spiteful type. Just bc hes some pretty boy with a nice voice that has rich friends he thinks he can be a bitch to everyone he talks to. I think they bonded over being a bitch tbh they have a lot in common (I mean bitch in a positive way for my ex. I mean it in a negative way for my childhood enemy).

Anyways, since we’re all mutual friends, I always hear about them doing stuff and its freaking me out. Like I can’t imagine them getting along, or ig it makes me uncomfortable? Worst part is, asshole guy has actually gotten more tolerant since hes made a friend, and now its so hard to rile him up. Like he never wants to talk to me anymore, even when we’re arguing. The mutual friend we were originally close friends with got married recently, and his bastard husband hates us (its mutual) so hes busy with whatever. Feels infuriating when the dickhead brushes me off to go spend time with my ex instead.

Idk how to tell them this without feeling like a total dick. It’s not like im close with either of them and I don’t want to come across as controlling. If i tell our mutual friend his bastard husband is going to make fun of me.

Edit: IM NOT HOMOPHOBIC. I hate my friends husband bc hes a dick. not bc he has one

Edit2: Ok guys stop. I do not like him. I have no idea where you got this idea from. I hate him. He’s the worst. and im not gay

Edit3: OK MAYBE I might like him. Idk how this is relevant to my post though.

Edit4: fine. i like him. wtf. now what do i do? isnt it girl code that u cant date ur friends exs

SpectacularTortle • 10 hr. ago
What about them hanging out makes you uncomfortable? Do you think you’re jealous? Or maybe lonely since your only other friend got married and is busy.

JuYang 🎤 • 10 hr. ago
idk its like it feels so weird that theyre hanging out. Why would I be jealous, we broke up a long time ago and its not like i like her that way anymore. I have other friends, im not lonely.

TheLyze • 10 hr. ago
Not jealous of him. Jealous of her because she's hanging out with your childhood friend. This reads like you have a crush on him.

LunaMunaLagoona • 10 hr. ago
Do you like this “childhood enemy” guy? You seem pretty hurt that he's ignoring you. Honestly this seems really childish, just tell him how you feel instead of fighting with him just to get his attention.

JuYang 🎤 • 10 hr. ago edited 10 hr. ago
I.DO. NOT. its his fault anyways. hes so fucking petty.

Rare_Guarantee_6976 • 10 hr. ago
bruh did anyone else see that edit. man down horrendous fr.

ChamomileBrownie • 7 hr. ago
what did it say?

Rare_Guarantee_6976 • 6 hr. ago
op wrote pretty instead of petty. u can check removeddit for this stuff

EducatedPancakes • 8 hr. ago
Honestly, I agree with the rest of this thread that it sounds like you like this guy. But I think before you get into whatever this is, you need to deal with the sexuality crisis first. Since you had a girlfriend I assume you were attracted to, have you considered that you might be bisexual? Or maybe pan?

JuYang 🎤 • 7 hr. ago
ig i could be bi. idk what pan means though

EducatedPancakes • 7 hr. ago
I think you need to take some time to think about this. Could you imagine being attracted to/dating a guy?

JuYang 🎤 • 6 hr. ago
No. every time i think about it the asshole always pops into my head. hes so annoying. he always bothers me even when hes not even here.

Rare_Guarantee_6976 • 6 hr. ago
are you fucking serious

EducatedPancakes • 6 hr. ago
Do you mean you’re always thinking about him? That could be another sign that you like him.

Humble-Speaker-190 • 9 hr. ago
It sounds like you’re lonely to me. Your ex gf said that you would stay friends but you ended up going pretty much no contact. Your close friend got married and your childhood friend is “brushing you off”. Your friend getting married and your other friends hanging out without you makes you feel even more isolated which is probably what you feel uncomfortable about.

Dachshundsmom57 • 9 hr. ago
Definitely this OP. I think you should ask to hang out with them next time, or maybe try to branch out into getting some other friends. All the friends you've mentioned, you've met through the one mutual friend.

Acceptable-Offer-692 • 5 hr. ago
getting out the popcorn rn. this thread is just ops sexuality crisis and im here for it.

Ordinary_Ad571 • 5 hr. ago
Your so fucking insensitive. Op might not even be gay why does everyone always assume that.

Acceptable-Offer-692 • 5 hr. ago
*You’re

Rare_Guarantee_6976 • 5 hr. ago
“pretty boy with a nice voice”

cheezboorgi • 5 hr. ago edited 3 hr. ago
Listen OP. You are out of your fucking mind with denial if you think you don’t have a fat ass crush on your “childhood enemy”. Everyone in this thread rn who is giving OP the benefit of the doubt that he doesn’t like this man better open their eyes and read up bc this is actually ridiculous.

“hes some pretty boy with a nice voice” is not something you would say about your supposed “enemy”??

“they(op’s ex-gf and the guy) have a lot in common” If you liked your ex and they have a lot in common, chances are you’ll like the same traits in him.

OP seems upset that he’s not getting the guys attention anymore.

In an earlier comment, OP says that he always has this guy on his mind. Sounds pretty gay to me.

and lets not even talk about OPs comment earlier where he called said guy “pretty” AGAIN.

Edit: suck it haters. I was right.

DialLforLibra • 4 hr. ago
Coming off a little strong here? op seems really stressed about this and this could just be adding to it.

assowary32 • 4 hr. ago
others have tried to approach this more gently. I think OPs the type of person that needs a more straightforward approach.

Rare_Guarantee_6976 • 4 hr. ago
youre so right

Acceptable-Offer-692 • 4 hr. ago
literally

EducatedPancakes • 4 hr. ago
Thank you for putting my thoughts exactly into words.

throwawayRAbrip • 10 hr. ago
Dude it sounds like you have a problem with your friend's husband. Homophobic much?

JuYang 🎤 • 10 hr. ago
My friend’s great. It's his bastard husband I have a problem with. He could of married any guy in the world except for him and I'd be happier.

Acceptable-Offer-692 • 9 hr. ago
*could have

Ordinary_Ad571 • 5 hr. ago
fuck off grammar nazi

JaneAustenismyJam-00 44 min. ago
wdym “girl code?” first of all I think its just a courtesy not to date your friends exs, not gender specific. second of all even if this was true, hes a guy??

JuYang 🎤 • 29 min. ago
idk, hes gay? so not really a guy

Acceptable-Offer-692 • 28 min. ago
holy shit u/throwawayRAbrip was right

JaneAustenismyJam-00 28 min. ago
my dude you need to address this internalised homophobia rn before you make ANY moves on this

Just_Alex67 • 30 min. ago
This! And in this situation I don’t think this “girl code” can even be applied considering that op and his ex broke up years ago and on good terms as well as the fact that they rarely speak to each other AND the guy that op likes has known him longer than his ex has known him.

r/Relationship_advice • Posted by u/JuYang just now

[UPDATE] on “My [22M] ex-girlfriend [21F] and my childhood enemy [22M] are now best friends. What do I do?”

Ok 2 days ago I made a post here about my ex and this guy i liked. I talked to him and apparently we’ve been dating for just under a year and I didn’t know. I hate him. Thanks guys.