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“What happened to your finger, dad?”
Today, they’re at the park. The same park where Ethan lost—Where the Origami Killer kidnapped Shaun. Ethan got them both ice cream cones. He remembered Shaun hated anything strawberry flavored, and so they both have chocolate, sitting on the park bench together.
He’d noticed Shaun glancing more than usual at his missing finger. They’d never discussed that—Ethan hadn’t told Shaun about any of the trials. Well, except for what he let out about the ‘poison’ not killing him. Shaun hadn’t brought it up yet, but Ethan had a feeling Shaun might bring that up too, sooner rather than later.
“Well, uh,” Ethan began, clearing his throat. He shifted on the bench slightly.
God, what’s he supposed to tell him? ‘Oh, I chopped my finger off to save you, Shaun. Want some more ice cream?’
“I just had an accident with, uh—with cutting onions. Nothing to worry about. It’s almost healed now.”
Shaun licked at his ice cream casually, focusing on a bird a few feet in front of them. “I don’t believe you, dad.”
Well, this is going wonderfully.
“Why not, Shaun?”
“Because you had your finger before I was taken, and you didn’t have it after.”
“I still could’ve lost it cutting onions, you know.”
Shaun looked over at him, now. “Did you really lose your finger cutting onions, dad?”
Ethan sighed, running his free left hand down his face—though that put his missing finger even more on display to Shaun. “No, I didn’t, Shaun.”
He looked at Shaun, trying to put on a comforting smile. “But it’s okay now, alright?”
Shaun looked like he was thinking for a moment. His ice cream was starting to drip onto his fingers, but he didn’t seem to mind.
“What about… When you found me, you said you drank poison, but you weren’t dead. What did you mean?”
Shit.
“Um, well—I just thought that something would, er, hurt me, but it didn’t and—”
Shaun was staring at him with a very disbelieving look.
Ethan sighed. “Shaun, we both had to go through a lot of things to get back to each other, yeah?”
Shaun nodded, his look softening a bit.
“My finger, and the—the poison that didn’t kill me was a part of all that.”
“You did those things… for me, right, dad?”
“I did those things for you, Shaun.”
Shaun sniffed. His eyes were watery, his face drawn up in a frown. “Thank you, daddy.”
With a muttered ‘oh, Shaun,’ Ethan wrapped his ice cream-free left arm around him, pulling him in close to his side. He heard muffled, jerky breaths, and he brought Shaun in closer, combing his left hand through Shaun’s hair.
It was only a precious few moments before Shaun was pulling away, sniffing and wiping his eyes, but with a brighter look on his face.
“Can I…” Shaun paused, wiping his nose. “Can I ride the carousel, dad? Please?”
Ethan’s heart felt like it skipped a beat. The last time they’d tried to do that was—
“Sure, buddy.” It was out before he could think about it much at all.
Probably better I didn’t think about it too long.
Shaun jumped up and thrusted his ice cream cone at Ethan at roughly the same time, and ran off to the carousel with Ethan following close behind and holding both their nearly completely melted ice creams.
Shaun climbed up on one of the carousel’s horses, and Ethan quickly bought a ticket for him. It was a different ticket master now, Ethan noted.
This time, Shaun rode the carousel, absolutely ecstatic. Ethan watched him from the sidelines, seeing Shaun smile widely and look at Ethan every time the ride came around. Ethan tried to smile back at him, even as his stomach twisted.
Truth be told, he was terrified he would black out, or that something would happen. He couldn’t lose Shaun again. He could never lose Shaun again.
Shaun had wanted to come to this park, specifically. Ethan thought maybe Shaun was trying to face his fear of it, a little. Ethan didn’t want to tell him he couldn’t, so he didn’t. He tried to keep his own uncomfortable feelings about the park tamped down as best as he could, for the moment.
Minutes passed, and Ethan was perfectly conscious, and Shaun was perfectly happy on that carousel horse. The ride ended, and Shaun climbed off, beaming.
Ethan handed him his very melty ice cream back, and Shaun resumed eating it even as it dripped down his fingers.
Shaun ran over and plopped down on a swing, one hand holding his ice cream and another holding onto the swing. He moved his legs back and forth leisurely.
Shaun looked happy.
The sun shone high above them, no rain clouds in sight.
Walking over to join Shaun on the swing beside him, Ethan thought for a moment; a quick little thing that popped right in his head without much of a warning.
Maybe we’ll be okay.