Chapter Text
Roy could only blink at Edward, “You want me to what?” He finally asked, staring at the man standing on the other side of his desk incredulously.
Ed just grinned at him and gestured to the gaggle of children standing behind him, “Babysit!” Ed laughed at Roy’s increasingly confused expression, “Don’t tell me you forgot Bastard! We made a bet and I won fair and square.”
Roy rubbed a hand across his face and resisted the urge to bang his head against his desk. “I remember our bet, but I didn’t expect you to want me to babysit while I’m working. I’m a bit busy trying to run a country, in case you haven’t noticed.”
“Pfft, it’ll be fine, their good kids. Fuery can help keep them entertained until you get off work,” At the mention of his name the Second Lieutenant looked up from where he was sitting at his desk fiddling with a radio and cast a sheepish look to the Roy, then the children. “Maybe you could call Havoc in too! Trish needs someone new to practice her growing poker skills with. Or Falman, he’s great with kids.”
Roy just groaned again. “There are so many things wrong with that sentence I don’t even know where to start. First of all, Lieutenant Fuery, Lieutenant Colonel Havoc, and Major Falman are all very busy and also don’t have time to be babysitting your children. Second of all, why does your 8-year-old need to practice her poker skills? Thirdly, our bet only covers your children, so unless you secretly adopted a third child, it seems like your trying to pawn off someone else’s child on to me.”
Roy turned his gaze to the aforementioned third child. She looked to be about the same age as Yuiry and Trisha, but she was small and had a frame that remind him of his days before his aunt found him, where food was scarce and he never knew where his next meal would be coming from. Her hair was shoulder length and white and had at least half a dozen small braid riddled throughout it. Sunglasses covered her eyes, but Roy knew what sunglasses in combination with that hair color and dark complexion meant. She leaned heavily on two crutches like she was unused to putting her weight on her feet.
“First of all,” Ed said, voice full of mockery, “You and I both know Havoc will jump at any opportunity to slack off. Second of all, in my defense, it was Panyina who corrupted my daughter, not me, and she’s such a natural I thought I might as well nurture her talent. And lastly,” He finished, moving to stand beside the girl, putting his hand on her back to steady her as she moved closer to Roy’s desk, “This is Naiomi.” It was hard to decipher what the girl was thinking with her eyes being blocked out, but she gave him a big smile, complete with one missing front tooth. “She’s one of Winry’s clients, but she’s been staying with us until we can find somewhere more long term. So for now she’s just part of the Elric package!”
The girl, Naomi, held her hand out to Roy, “It’s nice to meet you Mr. General, sir. Mr. Ed said that if you watched us maybe we could talk about alchemy.”
Roy had a weakness. It was known by very few, but ever since Ed introduced him to Yuiry the first time Ed had had a front-row seat to Roys greatest weakness. Roy was a sucker for kids.
Most would never guess, considering he convinced an 11-year-old to join the military and few people saw his relationship with Ed and Al for what it really was, seeing a power-hungry Colonel using two grieving children to boost his career instead of a man doing what he could to help two children achieve their goals. The truth is he adores children. Maes would often say he was just as bad as he was, but Roy was just better at hiding it in public.
Ed knew this weakness and was prepared to abuse it to get what he wants.
“Come on Roy, do you really want to disappoint the poor kid.” Ed had a faux solemn look on his face, but Roy knows him well enough to see the conniving smirk hiding underneath.
Roy looked back to the child and her outstretched hand, and with a heavy sigh, shook it. “Sure kid, we can talk about alchemy.” You’d think Roy told her he was giving her a pony with the way her face lit up. Roy had never seen a kid so young so excited to talk about alchemy, barring the Elric brothers, but those two were never truly children as long as he’d known them.
“Really!? I have so many theories on gaseous alchemy, but Mr. Ed and Mr. Al don’t really know all that much about gaseous alchemy, ya know cause they specialize in metal and earth alchemy. They know a lot about the theoretics, but not much about the practical applications, so it would be great to talk to an expert like you!”
Roy was honestly impressed. He kind of just expected her to go on about how cool the fire and explosions are like most kids, or based on her heritage maybe to express disgust with him. Even some accomplished alchemists didn’t put together that his flame alchemy was a form of gaseous alchemy.
“Great, my suffering continues.” Yuriy lamented, settling himself on one of the couches in the office and pulling out a giant medical textbook. Yuriy Elric took after his mother’s passion and his father’s single-mindedness. He was only 9, but apparently, he had already begun assisting his mother in her automail shop. According to his last call with the Elrics, Yuriy has even helped his mother perform automail surgery recently.
“Don’t mind him,” Ed said ruffling his son’s short hair, “He’s just grumpy Trisha has someone to talk alchemy with, but he doesn’t have anyone to talk automail with.”
“He’s just being whiny,” Trisha said with a snort, which earned her an annoyed face and a stuck-out tongue from her brother.
Looking at the three children, Roy knew he was in for a long day.
Ed clapped his hands together drawing attention back to him, “Alright now that that’s all settled, I’m gonna head out.” He ruffled his son’s hair again and lifted his daughter’s bangs to place a kiss on her forehead. “I’d tell you to behave, but that would make it too easy for the bastard. Give him hell kids.”
“Seriously Fullmetal?”
Ed just grinned at him as he made his way to the door, “See you in the morning, good luck General Bastard.”
Roy’s eye widened, “Wait, what do you mean morning?” He yelled after Ed, but he had already closed the door behind him, leaving Roy alone with small three children. Roy groaned and placed his face in his hands, causing a few muffled chuckles from four places around the room. Damn Fuery. He won’t be laughing when Roy enlists him to keep them entertained.
“Fuery, go get Havoc and Falman in here,” Roy said, not lifting his head from his hands.
“Yes sir,” Roy heard the legs of the chair scrape against the floor and heard his shoes click against the tile, hesitating slightly at the door. “Should I get the Colonel as well sir?”
Roy finally lifted his head, looking around at the children in his office. Naomi had settled herself on the floor next to his desk had had already grabbed a pile of alchemy books off his bookshelf, scribbling notes into a small dirty notebook and mumbling under her breath words Roy did not recognize. Trisha was also gathering books off of his bookshelf but was much more selective with her choices. She was also arguing with her brother about something Roy did not have the energy to comprehend. Yuriy had at some point opened the toolbox and bag he had been carrying and began tinkering loudly with an automail foot.
Finally, Roy turned his gaze back to the Luietentant who had a nervous smile on his face, “That would probably be best.”