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Chapter 3 – To Care
As his eyes opened, he began to gain consciousness, and that familiar view of the ceiling seeped in. Same as on most days, Hordak’s first words were a groan and a grunt of irritation. He was immediately exhausted, just from the weight of existing. His ever-present chronic pain gnawed at his nerve system; thanks to the armour built by his beloved it wasn’t overwhelming. But it was always there, in the background.
He reached out with his arm to block the light from entering his eyes. He growled some more as he instantly realised it wouldn’t help. Not only was his arm sickly thin, with rough cracking skin. He was also greeted with a large oblong hole at the centre of his arm. Which he had previously forgotten about. The daylight shot right through the defective arm. Hordak was a walking skeleton, barely any meat on his bones.
His crimson red eyes adjusted the brightness of the room, the drapes were swung open, letting the light of the morning enter. He turned his head over to the right, just as he suspected, his beloved partner was already up and buzzing around. Per usual. She always had so much energy; it was exhausting. On the other side his little batling was sleeping like a log, he was not an early bird, lazy little prankster. He was nestled into the pillow, covered with a little cloth, Imp wasn’t much bigger than two of Hordak’s hands. Adorable lazy little monster. He knew it was time to rise and shine, he could never go back to sleep after waking up. He took a deep breath, long groan, and he pushed himself up.
He gently pushed the blanket off himself, making sure not to wake Imp up. He dragged his lazy legs over the edge of the bed, his legs were bare and unarmoured. They dangled over the armour boots, it took a second for them to respond, but the boots automatically opened up, bloomed like a flower. The inside of the boots was soft and comfy. The boots’ interface would link and interlock with the clone’s flesh, it enhanced his strength and reflexes. The armour was an extension of his body, a hard shell, and a second skin.
He slipped his feet into the boots, and they enclosed around them, up to his knees. Then he stood up. He achieved balance a few seconds later. He couldn’t walk without them. His own body could not support his own weight. His ankles would snap in half.
He was still a little groggy, but he got up on his own two feet and hobbled his way out of the bedroom. He, of course, forgot his lenses. He forgot things often. The clone mind was a complex, complicated, and troubled entity. Some days his memory was worse, on others it was better. Today it was worse.
Hordak moved onwards to look for his beloved, he knew she was already at work developing some new technological miracle. He moved out of the bedroom and waltzed across their Sanctum, which consisted of a couple of small rooms filled with glowing monitors and desks littered with mechanical components. Entrapta, in some instances, had a short attention span, but she always returned to her projects. The smaller rooms converged into a large hall, garage-esque, incomplete dissected robots sat on the sides, some engines, and plenty of wiring.
Hordak found Entrapta back at the centre of the hall, tinkering with the communications array. The floor panelling scattered around and a dangerous number of cables and wires running across the hall from the hole in the floor in front of Entrapta to several generators and dishes. It was difficult to say which belonged to the machinery in the floor and which belonged to Entrapta. Her hair-like cables danced around from tool to tool, she made it look so easy, like it was second nature to her, like all machinery was an extension of her. Her gloved hands and purple tendrils assembled, assessed, and disassembled complex machines in seconds. It was astounding, Hordak was mesmerised by her talents and skilled, always.
He kneeled down next to a thread belonging to Entrapta and tapped it, it gently alerted Entrapta of his presence, rather than shocking her by placing a hand on her shoulder. It was their little routine. He moved towards his partner and asked as he always did, for permission to touch her, “May I?” Entrapta flipped up her wielding mask and nodded happily. And he planted a kiss on her forehead.
“You forgot your lenses.” Of course he did, he almost facepalmed. Entrapta didn’t mind, she enjoyed looking at his real eyes, she found them extremely pretty. The lenses made his eyes look fully red, but in truth his eyes were a mixture of bloody red and toxic-waste green, veiny patterns running across. With a thin vertical slit pupil at the centre. The lenses were contacts to aid him see, as well as protecting his vulnerable misfunctioning eyes.
“Ah, I wondered why my eyes were watering. I theorised it was perhaps because I laid my eyes upon you.”
She playfully patted his face as she attempted to contain a chuckle, “Pfft, stupid.”
A moment of silence followed. On most days the two enjoyed such quiet moments, simply observing the other work, it was a delight. But nowadays, those quiet moments were in short supply. And they knew it wouldn’t last. Hordak began to stand back up. Entrapta sighed, “Do you have to go?”
“I- You know I have to.”
“We barely see each other anymore.”
“If we don’t adhere to Glimmer’s conditions we won’t see each other at all. You know this.”
Entrapta elevated herself with her mechanical tendrils and wrapped herself around him, “Hmmm, I know, but...” Sigh, “...Yeah... I know, I just miss you. Imp misses you! If it’s not you going out fixing Queendoms or flying off on suicide missions, it’s me going away on Alliance duty with the Princesses or buried under an avalanche of paperwork!”
“I do not enjoy this arrangement either. I despise it in fact. It all makes me believe that they’re doing all these things on purpose to split us apart. To keep me away from you. I think they’re trying to protect you from me. They are worried I am a threat to your well-being.”
“That’s ridiculous! You’re incapable of winning a confrontation we me!”
“Well, I- I would not say ‘incapable’, I am in fact very dangerous and formidable-”
“Hahahahahaheheheheheheheh!... heh!... HA!... HA-HA! Ahhhhhh... heh.”
“I am!”
“If only they could see you as the precious cuddle-bat that you are.” She stated as she booped him on the nose.
“Heh, yes, if only.” He said with a smile, he hoped the smile would reassure her. He did not know what else he could offer her.
“Imp will be upset again.”
“...There is nothing in this or any other world that I desire more than to be with you and Imp, here. Or out there.” Space. Entrapta’s dream: to explore the cosmos.
“Just be safe, please... I love you.”
“I adore you more.”
“Scientifically impossible.” It was a bittersweet goodbye. One they carried out almost every day.
He made his way out of Dryl. A transport to the Queendom of Salineas was already waiting for him, staffed with BrightMoon guards with magical staffs at the ready. He tried to ignore them.
The doors to the transport craft opened, revealing The She-Ra. She was awaiting his arrival. And greeted him with a smile.
“She-Ra Adora. Why are you here?”
“We’re cleaning up the rubble and debris in quadrant B at the Salineas capital, aren’t we?”
“You are joining me?”
“Of course, that’s kind of what heroes do. And while we’re at it, I was hoping we’d catch up a little.”
“...”
---
WHAM! The steel beam crash-landed on top of the trash pile of mangled metal and brick. She-Ra dusted her hands off as a gesture of showing how easy the spectacular feat was. There wasn’t actually any dust on her hands, Hordak noticed. It took a couple of tries to get Hordak to understand that. Being very proper and being very alien prohibited Hordak from understanding many small gestures such as that. But he was starting to get it.
The Queendom of Salineas was a sad reminder of the war, of the things Hordak was responsible for. The Queendom wasn’t in total ruin, half of the realm still stood and operated. But the land had much to be rebuilt. Craters to be filled. Buildings to be reconstructed. Wreckage to be removed. That was the duty preoccupying Hordak and She-Ra at that moment.
The crumbled remains of buildings of what once was the capital of Salineas were being removed. Dryl being the technological and industrial giant it was, was supplying Salineas with new material resources for the rebuilding. Completely free, and with Hordak at the forefront. It was a part of the Community Service Programme.
Hordak was an idiot in many regards, he was oblivious, forgetful and impulsively rageful. But in some ways, he was an actual genius. With his advanced knowhow he was placed in charge of replanning the capital structure, with Dryl’s new tech the Queendom would be rebuilt better than ever. According to Entrapta’s seals pitch.
“Sorry I couldn’t be there at the trial.” She-Ra apologised, though there was no need to, as she lobbed another piece of huge debris at the designated pile, “I was busy rescuing several cats from burning trees next to an animal shelter that caught on fire.”
“Uh huh, that’s... very... good of you to do that.”
“You’re not very ‘good’ at talking, are you?” She used the same strange emphasis as he did when he said the word.
“Not particularly.”
“Well, that’s fine, I’ll just talk for the two of us.”
“Or we could remain in silence.”
Adora noticed Hordak kept looking behind himself. He was staring at Mermista, who herself was glaring at them, probably keeping an eye on Hordak. It was clear she didn’t trust him.
She gave a friendly wave and smile to Meri far off in the distance, exclaiming, “I got this! Thanks!” Mermista huffed and finally broke eye contact and walked off. Hordak turned back to Adora with a raised brow, Adora was holding up a thumbs up.
Hordak took hold of another piece of debris and crumbled it up into a ball. “Alright, fine. Let’s get this social interaction over with.” He threw the enormous ball of metal and concrete at Adora who caught it no problem. Hordak would never have been able to lift let alone throw such weights around. He could barely hold a chair up with his regular arms. It was all the doing of the armour, Entrapta truly was a brilliant engineer, she helped him accomplish such wonderous feats. Though it was clear that even with this augmented strength he could not match the magical power of the She-Ra.
“So how’s Entrapta?”
“She is well. Her beautiful mind never stops working. Her beauty is unending, and- uhm- uh... How- How are you?” He thought maybe that would be an appropriate response. “And the one who I shall not name.”
Adora chuckled, “Catra is good. She’s a part of the Community Service Programme too. She’s working on the other side of the continent, working on Etherian relations at the Queendom of Plumeria. She- uh- She’s doing good in therapy, I hear. I mean I love her, but that temper can get her into trouble, heh, you know?” Hordak felt like he had an inkling of where this was going, and he did not like it. “I was thinking, Princess Perfuma is opening therapy sessions for ex-Horde members... I- I was wondering maybe if you’d like to-”
“No.” He huffed.
“Yeah, no, sure, totally, I get it. But-” Hordak growled. He much preferred to remain in silence now. “It helps Catra. I thought maybe it would help you.”
“I do not have time for such trivial activities. I am busy. I barely see Entrapta anymore anyhow.” He didn’t mean to say that last sentence, it just kind of slipped out. “This conversation ends, now.”
They continued to move the debris in silence for the next couple of moments. Hordak felt slightly bad for that comment. But Adora was not known for giving up. The She-Ra was known for her indominable spirit. She was the universe’s greatest hero after all.
“Catra said the same thing. You two have a lot in common.”
“Pfft, nonsense. You insult me.”
“You sure you’re not just butthurt about the fact that she was a more effective leader of The Horde when she took over after you?”
“Blah! Please! She wasn’t- I am- I am not talking to you.” He crossed his hands and lifted his chin in disgust, like a toddler avoiding a food airplane.
“Hehehe... So... what compelled you to take Glimmer’s offer?”
“It was the only offer available. It was that or prison for the rest of my days. Forever separate from my beloved, and my little hybrid.”
“Really it wasn’t out of guilt or some inner sense of moral righteousness?”
“...N-... I don’t k- No.” He turned away yet again. He hated showing weakness. Entrapta always said it was wonderful to show vulnerability to others. But Hordak had been backstabbed too many times to fully take that advice to heart.
“Alright, just checking, we Horde traitors have that thing about us.”
Hordak paused for a moment, he thought back to the day Adora had ‘betrayed’ The Etherian Horde. He had no idea who she was, no idea about the great destiny that awaited her. She had been but another faceless number in his ever-expanding ranks in his army. Expendable and unimportant in the grander scheme of things. The young hero was raised in his Horde that he had established on Etheria while he was stranded, in honour of his Brother and The Galactic Horde from which Hordak had descended. It was all she knew. It was all he knew. Hordak had made her and many like her into what he was to Prime.
The sweet irony was not lost on him. It was not lost on him how foolish of him it was to believe that Prime would care about a clone, a defective clone no less. He ruined so many lives, walked over so many people to reach back up to his God. For nothing. He wondered: was that what this was, the cycle was repeating with Adora and him. He hoped not.
But his opinion of the woman had changed over time, drastically. He had no care for Adora or children like her raised in his Horde, but from the moment the heroine saved his life by purging Horde Prime from his mind. He was in her debt from then on out.
“And If you think about it... the two of us? We aren’t so different either.”
“You are nothing like me!” He was offended by that statement. Not because of some self-centred pride or egomania. Hordak had no pride in his heart, no one hated Hordak more than Hordak himself. But rather because he truly believed that Adora was a greater person than him, the greatest person in the universe to be exact. The two of them were not comparable. If that came across in his tone, was uncertain.
“Really? Both ex-Horde. Both lived our entire lives in the Horde, believed the teachings we were taught, did bad things for wrong reasons. Both traitors.” She helped Hordak out with a large, lodged metal beam as he was clearly not strong enough to move it alone. Her smile wide and warm, annoyingly so. He sighed and avoided eye contact.
“Has anyone ever told you that you are infuriatingly kind?”
“Yeah, Catra says that a lot. And I pride myself on that.”
“...I am... sorry... for putting you through that life.”
“Wow, really? The dark and mighty Lord of The Etheria Horde, super evil, super scary boogeyman, apologised? This has to be some sort of breakthrough. And here I thought you hated people.”
“I do despise people.” He proclaimed as he threw another boulder of debris. He growled and grunted as a pain began to increase at his back. They had been at this for hours now. His suit had no need for a recharge, it was supplied by seemingly limitless energy, Hordak himself however, was not.
“Maybe you should reconsider that. Sure, an apology is great an’ all. But I wasn’t the only child indoctrinated into The Horde. There are a lot of people who could still use that apology, and much more.”
He raised his brow, “Am I not doing just that, now?”
“Yeah, sure, true, but I think you’re doing this out of some sort of need to fulfil an obligatory ‘debt’. Rather than out of... compassion, just regular empathy for life, out of the understanding that you did wrong, and you need to repay them.”
He gripped another piece of rubble and pulled back again. And he was greeted with a sharp pain in his back. “I am repaying them! Every day! Every moment! My constant suffering, my labour, is that not enough? I also have to enjoy their presence? I rebuild their cities, I provide them with technology they would not be capable of producing in decades, and on top of that I also must kiss babies and shake hands? This entire world hates me, these people hate me, even my own brothers share the sentiment! Yes, I hate this world, and I hate these people.”
All he had to do was place a finger on her, and a dozen archers had their bows and arrows pulled back and pointing directly at his head. They all came out of nowhere.
“Can we take a break?” He asked gritting his teeth.
“Sure. Let’s do that. Let’s cool off. Put your weapons down.”
And so, he stormed off in a hissy fit, grumbling to himself, as he often did. “Don’t kill them.” Hordak ordered. The guard, he was seemingly talking to, looked confused, they didn’t know if that was some sort of threat, should they re-pull their bow.
Then a voice came from behind the archer guard, accompanied with a sigh, “Fiiine.” The archer almost jumped in surprise. It was another clone. V. He had a sharp blade placed against the back of the guard’s neck, and they hadn’t even realised. V, retracted the blade into his arm, placed his hands behind his back and whistled as he waltzed off alongside Hordak.
“That was a good speech.” V mocked.
“Shut up.” Hordak was not having it.
---
The two brothers made their way off site, it was obvious that Hordak was trying to avoid V. “Oh, come on, what are you doing? Power walking away from me?”
“I know you will say something idiotic. And I do not wish to hear it.” V’s voice was gravely and dry, whereas Hordak’s was smooth and proper, not monotone, but bordering on that tone.
V placed a hand on his younger brother’s shoulder, “Then don’t listen. Fine. But you almost got killed.”
“They would not have fired. She-Ra Adora was present, she would not have allowed-”
“All I’m saying is: You need to relax a bit. Spend some time with your own kind. As you know, most of the workforce rebuilding the Queendom are clones. So, Manny and Bar Nefcy were kind enough to relocate here to... aid with the work effort.”
“I am not drinking.”
“That’s fine, kiddo. Let’s just talk.”
The clone brothers made it to what Hordak figured was meant to be the bar, however, Hordak would have never guessed its purpose if not for the crowds of clones gathered around the structure, conversing and socialising. The building was obviously one of the ruined structures of the city, repurposed. There was no sign, no nothing. The presence of the bar was spread through the grapevine. You would not know any other way. It was obvious that communities felt more comfortable within themselves, knowledge passed from mouth to mouth, mind to mind, easier if you trust each other, and you naturally trust someone who looks like you more than those who don’t. Regs stuck with regs. Defects stuck with defects.
Hordak noticed that as he approached the establishment the eyes of the crowds turned to him and glared at him. The chatter turned to silence, which turned to chatter once more. The chatter was not kind. The fact was there were many clones who hated Hordak. Most clones. They were not too different from the Etherians themselves in that regard. Hordak and V entered the bar. “Uhm, excuse me, comin’ through.” The crowd parted. Hordak felt like a typical brawl was not far off. But perhaps he was paranoid.
Manny was a busy bar owner, especially that day. But he didn’t mind, he enjoyed it even. Sensing all his brothers, whether they were regulars or defects like himself, all coming together. Seeing such a unity brought a smile to his face. Which, of course, faded immediately from his face once he noticed who had entered his establishment. Sure, V was a handful and the personification of the word ‘annoyance’. But the real reason he was scowling, was Hordak.
He wasn’t the only one scowling, the glares followed the caped clone from all across the room. From both regs and defects. He stood out from among the crowds of his fellow clones, thanks to his flashy costume. It was quite unique, iconic, or perhaps infamous was the right word. A pair of clones saw the other two enter, stood up and walked off. V happily took their spots. He patted the seat next to him, gesturing for Hordak to sit down. He did so.
“Mornin’ Manny.”
“...What can I get you, V?”
“For me the strongest thing you have, aaand for baby right here, I don’t know, water, milk?” He placed his arm around Hordak’s shoulders.
“I will have carbonated orange juice... if that not too much to ask for. I’ll pay for V’s drink as well, and any damage that may be caused as a result of it.”
“You can afford that, huh?” Manny remarked.
“Well, I-”
“Yeah, no I know. You live in that ivory tower, with a royal princess, while the rest of us... well.”
“Heh, hey come on Manny that ain’t fair. Sure, emo boy here gets a comfy bed, but he still lives like the rest of us. Struggles to breath. Punch him, he bleeds.” V patted Hordak on the shoulder.
“I’m sure a lot of people wouldn’t mind having that, since a lot of people like us can’t even afford a comfy bed.”
“The Crypto Castle is open to all. Countless clones have taken residence there.”
“Sure, and all of a sudden, what? You’re our hero?”
“No, I-”
“You don’t care about us. If it weren’t for you most of us wouldn’t have to crawl on our knees to you and your high and mighty castle. It’s because of you these people hate us.” Manny barked. He slammed a glass cup onto the bar table in anger. Hordak was well acquainted with that emotion, it was his primary one, and he could tell it had been building up for a while.
V attempted to defend his brother, “Hey, wow, ease up on the kid, Manny. These people were going to hate us no matter what.”
“He antagonised this world for three decades! Started a war! They spit in our faces! They hate our face, because of you!” The bartender pointed in Hordak’s direction.
“Manny, buzz off. I’m serious.”
“Oh come on V, n- no, allowing him into my bar stands against everything I want this place to be!”
“Everything it stands for? I thought it stood for a neutral ground, where clones could sit together. Right? Wasn’t that it, you’re big fantasy!? Huh?!”
“Not him. Not Mr Top-General. He divorced himself from Prime for three decades, and he just crawled back to Him on his knees.”
“We all wanted that, for most of our lives That Bastard’s iron heel was all we knew! Ah-... Manny, come on, we- we’re friends. This- We’re just here for a drink.”
“...No... Not him. The difference between him and us is that he never grew out of kissing heels. Prime, The Alliance, all the same. Can you deny that?”
“...” V remained silent.
“I know you feel the same. Too busy obeying his masters. They nor he cares we’re being snatched off the streets!”
V rose up, “Yeah, well you know what?!-”
“V that’s enough.” Now it was Hordak who placed a hand on V, he needed to pull V back in case he got out of hand, “It is alright. I shall leave. It was a bad idea coming here. And I will never come back to trouble you and your clientele, but first, please elaborate: What do you mean ‘snatched off the streets’?”
That was the turning point. Hordak felt the need to prove him wrong. He did care.
“Shouldn’t be surprised you didn’t know. Clones have been disappearing. Defects mainly. People not making it home or well... many don’t have homes. BrightMoon isn’t doing anything about it. Say there’s not enough substantial evidence to support the claim. Can’t tell us apart, can’t keep track of us, so I guess there’s one good thing. One poor fella got snatched yesterday, Quill, I think his name was. He never made it to his girlfriend’s place.”
“If you don’t mind me asking. Who has seen this ‘Quill’ last?”
“...” He signed, “Over there,” Manny pointed at a semi-passed out clone drooling over a table in a corner, “River’s his name. They were like brothers those two, well, ugh, you know what I mean.” He waved them off dismissively.
Hordak nodded, “Thank you.”
He got up and made his way immediately over to River. While V sat back down and remained there, “Can I at least get that drink?”
“Sorry brother, you gotta be sober for this one.” Manny’s comment was laced with anger and irritation, the bartender had reached the boiling point, he was feed up with his defective brother’s antics.
V sighed, already exhausted, “I hate being sober.” With a grunt he lifted himself up and followed his younger brother.
Hordak was not quite sure how to approach the drunken clone. “I- uhm, sir, brother.” Nothing.
V pinched the drunken clone’s pointy ear and twisted slightly. “Ouch, ow, oww! What the crap dude?” The drunk slurred his words.
“River, is it?” Hordak continued. Some noise akin to a groan, sigh, and a confused ‘huh’ all at the same time escaped his mouth. His mind was still groggy. His eyes opened and closed, almost like he was waking up and adjusting to the light of the morning, during the afternoon. He rubbed the bridge of his nose and eyes lids.
“Huh? Who the hell are you?”
“I uh... I am a friend of Quill.” Hordak answered.
“Quill? I... Buddy. My buddy’s gone.”
“River, please tell me where you last saw him? Can you give us any leads? We’re trying to help find him.”
“If he’s still alive.” V pitched in. Hordak knocked him in the back of the head.
“We were drinking, and then his girlfriend called. He was on his way to her house. But he never... he never...” River couldn’t finish the sentence. He began to cry, and sob, and whimper. He missed his friend, very much.
---
The house wasn’t big, nothing outstanding, there were a thousand like it. But that was it. They triple checked the address. Hordak knew he had to enter the house, but it was almost like an invisible force stopping him. Some large weight in his heart anchoring him in place. A hand placed on his shoulder, he turned his head to the owner of the hand, it was V. He had no eyes exactly, but he still managed to stare into his soul. “Are you sure you’re ready for this? Remember, Quill’s been missing for a day now, he might as well be confirmed dead, kiddo. Especially if we believe you-know-who took him. Don’t Give her. Hope.”
“Ignore him.” Lee telepathically communicated.
“No don’t ignore me! Listen to me for once! You don’t want to give her false hope, do you?!”
“There’s always hope. And it’s the truest ideal we can hold on to.” Lee countered.
V waved his brother off. “Ideals are overrated.”
Hordak took a deep breath and walked over to the door. Knock. Knock. Knock. A strange inhuman pause in between each knock, he was unsure how to carry out normal gestures such as that. Then there was silence. Then fear, and the wish to abort mission. But the sound of footsteps behind the doors connoted it was too late to escape. The sight of the door handle turning marked the point of no return.
He was not expecting to have to look down to spot the person who opened the door. Hordak was expecting to see Quill’s fiancée, instead who greeted him was a small child. Her eyes wide, mouth slightly agape. She just stared at him. Hordak felt like she was burning a hole in his head. He cleared his throat, but no words exited. He struggled to form a smile on his face, showing his fangs always resulted in people fainting or just being unsettled.
“Is- Is there an adult I may speak to?”
The girl almost struggled to look away, her eyes glued to Hordak, her head turned slightly away, “Mommy!” She called. Soon a woman entered the scene. Her expression turned from curiosity to fear. It was clear she did not know how to process the sight of Hordak in the doorway.
“...I- uh... Who?- How may I help you?” She asked.
“...Uhm, greetings ma’am, may I enter your household?”
The woman attempted a joke to ease the tension in her own mind and stomach, “...I- Heh, sure yeah. Heh, what are you a vampire? Heh- ‘cause, you know... vampires need permission... to enter a house...you know?...”
“Do they?”
She chuckled awkwardly at her own joke, but Hordak did not seem to understand.
“Uhm... no, I am not. I am in the employee of the Princess Alliance and the Queen,” not a lie, “I wish to ask you a few questions about the disappearance of Quill. May I enter?”
“You- Yes, of course. Please come in. I- I didn’t think anyone would come. I didn’t know anyone cared.” She gestured with her hand to the inside of the house as she moved backward. “Charlie, baby, why don’t you go up to your room okay?”
The girl whispered to her mother as she held her wrist, but Hordak could still hear, “Mommy, why does that man look like Quill? Are they brothers?”
“Charlie, p- please just go to your bedroom, if you do that for me, we’ll get ice-cream later, okay?”
The girl looked at her mother, then at Hordak, who attempted to put on a smile, then back to her mother. Charlie harrumphed and left.
The mother moved out of the way of the doorway and went off to the kitchen. Hordak realised he hadn’t asked permission if his ‘associates’ could enter, but they barged in anyway. The spacebat followed the woman to the kitchen which was merged with a dinning room into one single space. She pulled out a chair for Hordak and took the seat opposite it at the dining table. He nodded humbly and sat down. V just went ahead and pulled up a chair and sat down on his own, slouching, one leg over the other, acting like he owned the life. Hordak sat straight up, much more awkwardly. Lee opted to stand, arms crossed.
“Can I get you anything? Water? Tea? Coffee? Something stronger?” She asked politely.
“Ya got whiskey?” V asked bluntly. Hordak and Lee simultaneously smacked him in the back of the head to shut him up.
“No thank you. We are optimal.”
“Well, I hope you won’t mind if I get some.” She said as she pulled out a glass and a bottle of wine. Hordak was slightly surprised, but he did not say anything.
“Wait she gets to drink, and I don’t?!?” Another smack.
She took a sip from the red glass, “Name’s Willow. By the way.” Willow stated.
“Nice to meet your acquaintance, Willow.”
The Etherian woman had blue skin which paired well with silvery, platinum, long hair. From past the shimmering hair extended two blue bulb antennas. Hordak believed she was a part of a race named the Vulpix. For you see the term ‘Etherian’ did not refer to a singular race. But rather it was an umbrella term, which referred to all people who lived on the planet of Etheria. So, technically the clones themselves were ‘Etherian’, though most of the population did not consider them as such. Many clones did not want to be considered as such either, even if many unique different species existed respectfully under the umbrella term.
Not to mention the clones weren’t legal citizens of the planet as they had no rights.
“He’s probably dead, huh?” She said shakingly. She was really for them to deliver the bad news to her.
“No, well, he’s only been missing for a day, there is still a possibility-”
“Yeah, probably.” V interjected.
“V, silence yourself!” Hordak barked.
She shacked her head, “I’ve heard the rumours of clones disappearing in the streets. But I always thought ‘it could never happen to us.’ You know? ‘It’s not real.’”
Tell her. Lee told Hordak. Hordak braced for the next step.
“...There is... a faction, of clones roaming the lands called OneLight. They are ‘true believers’ and worshippers of Horde Prime. They are not a large grouping, but large enough to be too dangerous. They are hatemongers, a part of the anti-defect sentiment. They believe that defects and defection are a sin, unholy and demonic corruption. And that it must be cut out... Which I suppose brings me to the question on my and my brothers’ minds: Are you aware whether or not your...”
“Boyfriend.”
“Whether or not your boyfriend is a defect?” Hordak used the present tense to subconsciously reassure Willow and make it feel like Quill was still alive.
“I- I’m not sure.”
“Clones often hide their defects from others, for fear of being rejected or hunted, it is a cultural shame. Was your boyfriend attempting to hide any physical blemishes? Was he physically distant or shy? Was he unhealthily thin? Skin rough, crumbling? Was he easily injured? Did he have random phantom pains? Did he seem forgetful, or uncertain of his surroundings?”
“I don’t- I don’t know. I’m sorry, what does it matter?”
Lee and Hordak looked at each other, the former beaming sentences into the latter’s mind, suggesting to him what to say. “It would aid us in figuring out if this could have been a hate crime, which in turn would make The Onelight cult a prime suspect, narrow our search.”
“Oh, yeah okay, of course. I mean, he was some of those things: He was lean, I don’t know if you’d call him thin, or unhealthy. He was sometimes awkward around my family and other... uh, non-clones. A- And there was an occasional night terror. Quill just never talked about anything like that.”
“Physical imperfections are often most telling. Deformities. Decreased mass and weight. Missing bodily parts, or malformed.”
Willow shook her head, “I don’t think so.”
“You don’t think so?” V mockingly asked. “You know or you don’t. Let me explain defection properly. Junior here often likes to sugar coat it with big fancy words.”
“V, please.” Lee attempted to interject.
“V, please leave the conversing to me.” Hordak protested as well.
“Nah, I got this. I’m better at telling stories, I paint a really good picture. Ahem. It’s kind of the worst. It’s a waking nightmare. You see sis, the nature of clones is that we’re all generically the same, dime-a-dozen, indifferent. Perfect copies, minus the rights. Shadows of what a real living being is, should be.
The nature of defects is that that we should be perfect. But we’re not. We’re wrong. We were taught by Big Bro that we shouldn’t exist, that we didn’t deserve to exist. That is our nature.
Now imagine this: All your life you devote yourself to this self-centred Egomaniacal Ass Wipe. You murder for Him. You pray to Him. You are Him, but you can never live up to what He is. And then one random day, halfway through your lifespan, you become dizzy, you feel weak, like you’re about to hurl. You feel a pain shoot through your body, like knives growing out of your nerves, like your mind is bleeding through your tears. You faint. Black out. Then you wake up, hours later. And there, just under your sleeve you feel something.
And there it is, a hole in your arm, your skin cracking, tightly hugging your brittle bones. Suddenly, in less than a day, you become what you have been taught all your life to hate. You know what that does to a person? The way it tears you up on the inside? Get the picture? Trust me, you’d know, if your fiancé was a defect. So... Was. Your. Fiancé. A clone?”
Hordak tried to salvage the situation in any way possible in his most apologetic tone, “I- uh, I am sorry for-“
“Don’t be, it’s true.”
“Silence, V. -for my brother’s...” Hordak couldn’t find a word for what just transpired, eventually he settled for, “...rant.”
A horrified face greeted them at the end of the monologue. Willow was shocked, disturbed, and unsettled. It was clear she had no idea how to respond after a passionate speech like that. She mustered to find some semblance of a voice and answered, “My God, that- that sounds... horrid.”
“Sure is.”
“-I- no, no, I- Quill never showed... signs like that. I feel like I would’ve noticed if my Quill was wrestling with something like that.”
“So, ‘no’ then?”
“No, sorry.”
“No. It is alright. Thank you for your time.”
Hordak didn’t need a telepathic link with the Etherian woman to know that though she was horrified she was also morbidly curious. He knew she would ask the same questions everyone did when the concept was explained to them: How does it happen? Is there a cure? Can it be helped?
It is unknown as to what causes defection. V would call it a freak accident. A one in a hundred-thousand chance. It just happened. Many like Hordak had wondered in their many silent moments what they could have done different to avoid such a terrible fate. Wondered by their Big Brother would curse him with that disease. Begged and prayed to Horde Prime every night, created monuments and totems in His honour. He prayed for forgiveness, for the gift to be healed. His prayers were never answered. No one’s were.
And many tried to create a cure. None succeeded. Hordak himself had a keen mind, he was a man of science, he possessed a mind leagues more advanced than any beings on the face of Etheria (except for Entrapta). And yet, even with a thirty-year head start, with a quiet space to think and an evil empire protecting and serving him, he could not crack the code of defection. Partially, because Etheria, being a medieval-esque world, did not posses advanced enough technology for his research. And mostly, because he wasn’t smart enough. He was smart. But not smart enough. The enigmatic nature of defection was simply... beyond him.
“A- And you said there was a- a cult? That’s hunting sick people like that? How have I never heard of that? And isn’t anyone doing anything about it?”
“No one seems to care.” Lee looked at Hordak, who repeated those words.
“No one seems to care.”
“The young one is watching.” Hordak turned to face Lee whose head was turned to the stairs outside of the kitchen. Charlie, the little girl, was listening in on their conversation.
“What?” Hordak asked.
Willow seemed confused by his ask, “He didn’t say anything.”
He forgot, “Oh, my apologise, perhaps we forgot to mention, clones have the ability to communicate telepathically between each other.”
“I bet you ten gold blorfian tart crystals that she’ll ask if we can read her mind.”
“Can you read my mind?”
“Told you. Pay up.”
“Quiet... We did not shake on it.”
“We mentally shacked on it.”
“That is not a thing. Shut up, pay attention.”
V and Lee bickered between each other inside of Hordak’s mind, which was incredibly irritating. A clone could not ‘block’ mental chatter, per say. More like tuning it out, pushing it into the background. Those links could be broken up by long distances, mental-disrupters (a common anti-clone weapon utilised in battlefields by rival worlds), or of course, by death.
“No, no, it is only a gift between clones... My brother, Lee, spotted your young creation listening in on our conversation.”
The little girl seemed shocked, she thought she was hidden from their eyes and ears. Clearly, she was not as good of a spy as she thought.
“What? Charlie?” The young girl pocked her head out into the kitchen, after hearing her mother call out her name. She remained silent. And was slightly embarrassed. “You were listening in on us?”
The girl drew invisible circles in the tiled floor with her foot as she fiddled with her fingers. She answered shyly, “...Maybe.”
“How much have you heard, sweetie?”
“...Is Quill going to be okay?”
Willow didn’t know how to answer Charlie. They had no answer, and no certainty. The mother spoke no words, she instead opened her arms, and the little girl practically flew into her arms.
Both V and Lee avoided looking at the Etherian family. But Hordak could not avoid it. The picture of a mother holding a daughter in her arms. The purest sight in the universe.
It almost formed a smile on his face. Almost. The sight of the two of course reminded him of something else, someone else. He envisioned Entrapta gently cradling Imp, comforting their little batling as they attempts to keep their tears in. A single tear running down their soft cheek. The tiny noises of sobbing and whimpering escaped the little creature.
And with that a thought crossed his mind. What if it was him? What if Entrapta and Imp had lost him? What if he had left his family bereaved and in mourning? The only beings he truly cared about, the only people he wished to be with, they were his world. He loved them more than anything in this ever-expanding cosmos. Hordak could bear many pains and tortures, but he could not bear to see them cry.
“He will be okay.” Willow and Charlie looked up to him through their watery eyes. Even Lee and V looked to him, confused and with worry. He had no guarantee, no certainty, and no right to reassure them.
“All will be well.”
He gave them his best smile as he attempted to hide his fangs, he knew they had a tendency to scare little children. But the gesture was kind none the less. And Charlie returned it.
---
“This one’s my favourite.” Charlie pulled out her She-Ra action figure. It looked like the kid had the full set of Princesses, the entire Alliance. With all their accessories: weapons, blast-effects, and small plastic missiles (most of them missing) and an occasional comb for brushing hair.
Hordak was sitting at the centre of Charlie’s bedroom, observing the girl talk about her toys. He felt extremely out of place but remained silent. Except for the time he got startled by the sound effects of one of the toys as it lit up a blue light in his face. Hordak recognised it as Princess Mermista, the LED was meant to depict her hydro-kinesis powers, maybe, he guessed. He surveyed the room, the walls were covered with Princess Alliance posters, with an army of plushies occupying her bed. You could practically feel the goth-phase coming in the future.
“Very nice.” Hordak answered as Charlie handed him her She-Ra figure. He looked at her for a moment, the toy was a simplification of what the woman looked like, poorly painted. But, something about it managed to elicit strange emotions within him. If Hordak had cared to analyse those feelings, he would recognise the feeling as shame. He really should not have raised his voice at Adora. He was clearly in the wrong but couldn’t admit it to her face. He was a moron. (His thoughts, not mine.) He only secretly hoped that she had enough patience in her to allow him a second chance and hoped she would forgive him. But perhaps more likely she has lost faith in him. He was a lost cause. (Again, his thoughts.)
“She is the best of us.” Hordak stated.
Charlie looked back to him and nodded, “I know! That’s what it says on her packaging.” She lifted up the box, “It also has her bio, and states, and clip-on-adventure-power-armour. Oh and over here, that’s the evil black and red version, that’s her evil twin/clone. Cool, huh?” She grinned widely, ear to ear.
His colour palette. Go figure. He continued to feel awful. Adora was so kind to him, and he yelled at her. The universe’s greatest hero extended her hand to him, and he spit in her face. Hordak had many faults and downfalls, perhaps his biggest was his anger issues, and his inability to keep it under control. Perhaps he should go out and find She-Ra Adora later and apologise for snapping at her.
He didn’t quite catch what Charlie said next as his red lensed eyes landed on another toy. One which bared resemblance to himself. It was a depiction of him. He was accompanied by other monstrous beast-like warrior creatures around him. The Hordak figure itself was very reminiscent of the sculpture at Castle BrightMoon. Not very flattering depiction, forked togue, hooves and horns. The figure’s chest had a button, which he pressed hesitantly.
“I am evil because I am mean!” Another press. “I will devour your soul!” Another press. “Friendship and love shall be destroyed.”
“Hmmm.”
Charlie had noticed Hordak’s fascination. It was in fact Charlie who had invited Hordak to come to her room, to play with her. Because Quill used play with her. He was always her favourite ‘mom’s boyfriend’. Quill was nice, a little weird, but nice and cool. It looked like mom had finally got it right, that she was done being hurt. Maybe finally they’d be happy. Charlie was always happy, she never knew her biological father, but her mom as long as Charlie could remember had looked for someone to fill a hole in her heart. She remembered Quill didn’t like that one figure either.
“I don’t really like that one, either.” Charlie pointed at the figure, “I think Quill found it mean.”
Hordak smiled at Charlie, the smile faded quickly. “Yes... I don’t like him either.”
“Will you play with me later, Hordak? If dad doesn’t come back?”
Pause.
“Of course.”
---
V and Lee had already made their way outside of the house. They were both waiting for Hordak. Lee found a spot underneath a tree where he leaned up against it as he waited. V stood halfway between his two brothers, watching while Hordak was still talking to Willow in the doorway and saying his goodbyes.
“Thank you for coming and putting Charlie’s mind at ease.” Willow thanked the towering man as they shook hands. “Even if... well...”
“Yes, thank you as well... for your time.” He began to depart, however, something inside of him made him stop, some sort of invisible force. The same force led him to turn back to Willow. “Willow, I will find and bring your beloved partner back to you... I promise.
It’s going to be okay.”
He didn’t know if it was going to be okay, but he felt the need to say so. Willow’s face lit up and a bright smile formed as some small shred of hope returned to her heart.
Willow returned inside and Hordak walked off to meet with his brothers. V scowled from afar. “What was that?”
“What?”
V pointed to the house, “The smile? That didn’t look like the face of a woman that just lost her significant other.”
“Should we not have hope? That our brother is still alive.”
“If those cult butchers got their claws on him he might be as good as dead!” Hordak bowed his head down, “You do understand that if you fail, you’ll have to be the one to look her in her eyes and tell her that her partner is dead. That you failed. You installed false hope in her heart when she should have started moving on.”
Hordak raised his head, “That is not going to happen.” Hordak moved past his doubtful brother. “I will not fail.”
Before he could fully storm off to their ship his other brother stopped him. Lee interjected himself into Hordak’s mind, “Don’t mind V. He means well. And... And he is not wrong. Even if we can’t identify Quill as a defect, the missing clones have been mainly defects. Which points to OneLight. And- they do not keep prisoners.”
“I thought you said there was always hope.”
“There is. Hope for us. But I fear that you’re doing this for the wrong reasons. You do this because you pity that Etherian woman, not because you feel responsible for the safety of your brothers. Responsibility, not pity. You must be active not passive. You understand, boy?”
Hordak did not respond. That remark forced him to ponder on Lee’s words. He did not fully understand what they meant, not yet.
End of Chapter Three