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When Thony arrives back at the club it’s late, just the way she likes it. It was a chance for her to get some peace, a quiet moment to herself and do something with her hands other than cutting a small body open. Her hands were still shaking but she ignored them the best she could and went about cleaning, starting first with the kitchen as always. No matter how much she scrubbed and cleaned Thony could not keep the image of Lizzie lying there on the surgery table when they brought her in.
The little girl was so scared as they went to an unknown destination in the darkened van. She squeezed Thony’s hand the whole way there and clung to her. It broke her heart to see such a young girl in a terrible state. Thony realized that just like Luca, Lizzie was stuck in a place where it seemed impossible to escape from.
Lizzie was only five years old with her whole life ahead of her. The thought of performing such a surgery on her weighed heavy on Thony’s shoulders. She couldn’t do that to her, her morality wouldn’t allow it to happen. And that was such a hard thing for her to hold on to these days, especially when it came to Luca.
It was the hunger and desire to do everything possible to save her sons life but she would not put her own soul at stake for it. She already had done too much, how far was she willing to go before she could never recover from the things she’s done? It’s been getting harder and harder to look at herself in the mirror these days there had to be line somewhere.
But a small part of her can’t help but wonder what if she had gone through it with? If she had become so detached from who she was there would be no boundaries that would stop her from saving her son. And the thought of that scares her and keeps her up most nights. What would Luca think if he knew all the things she’s done for him? Would he still look at her the same, love her even if he knew the kind of lengths his mother had to go through to ensure his life? Even through all of these thoughts Thony wouldn’t change a thing because her son deserved to live.
Flashes of Luca running around in the park with other children smiling, laughing, playing and free and that’s the one thing Thony wants for him; to just be free. Free from the disease and being closed off from the rest of the world. She wants him to be able to experience so much that even she can’t keep up with him but she’ll push herself through it if meant he could have that, happiness. There’s a weight heavy on his shoulders too she sees it every time she leaves him at home and he watches from behind the plastic cover wishing he could go any and everywhere with her.
She’s pulled from her thoughts when Arman unexpectedly comes from the office, surprised to see her.
“What’s going on? Thought you wanted a few days off.” He questioned, eyebrows furrowed.
Thony tries to keep a hold on herself and not break down so she replies with a simple, “It didn’t work out with the broker.”
She turns away from him to sweep the mess in the dustpan and finding it harder to keep the tears at bay. But the pain is too much and without warning she begins to cry unable to focus on the task at hand. Her mind swimming with everything that could happen and the worst is losing Luca. She feels so lost and wants to crawl into bed and not wake up. But she’d never do that to him, he needs her to keep fighting for both of their sakes.
There’s something that’s pulling her back to reality, someone. The cologne so familiar and comforting that she doesn’t even have to think twice about it. It’s a scent that she’ll recognize instantly in a crowd full of millions of people. His hands effortlessly helping her rise to her feet and he’s taking the broom away and leading her in the office.
As soon as the door shuts she can’t stop herself from opening up and she breaks, and breaks, and breaks. Sobs ripping out of her like if she keeps crying she’ll form her own river and it’ll swallow her whole. But the only thing that seems to keep her grounded is Arman wrapping his arms around her pulling her in for the comfort she desperately needs. Her hands grasp at the front of his shirt, soaked with her tears. He’s whispering softly to her we’ll find another way and Thony believes him. Believes that he will fight for her son when she was unable to anymore. When her will runs out and she stumbles and falls he would be there to pick her up and keep her going for Luca’s life. She could see why Luca drew him as his hero because maybe Arman is that for her too.
It’s the tender forehead kiss he gives her and his thumb brushing her cheek that makes her pull back and gaze into his eyes and she sees that he can feel her pain. He’s desperate to make it go away and all Thony can do is feel him. His strong arms around her, his tender heart, the rough feel of his beard when she finds herself brushing her fingertips against it.
She doesn’t think twice about meeting him in the middle. A tentative kiss at first then a soft yeah and they deepen. The attraction taking over more and more, hot desire running through her veins like a firey rage. His lips desperate and rough against hers she could feel something within him unlocking a dominating side she’d only seen when he was angry. But this? The way his hands seemed to want to touch her everywhere all at once, his tongue swirling around with hers, his intoxicating moans. This was an intensity he had been holding back from her and she could see why, he was an overwhelming force that engulfed her mind and body.
He picked her up as if she weighed nothing and that action shot straight to her core and caused her to groan with his lips at her neck. Visions of him taking her right there on that desk danced across her mind as he tried to take her shirt off. Thony wanted that, wanted him from the first moment she saw him. She had a hunger for someone that wasn’t her husband and that snapped her out of trance and Thony immediately pulled away from him despite her body’s attempts to keep him close. He was breathless as he stared her down hungrily. Pure lust she saw in his eyes and she turned and left in a hurry afraid if she’d stayed any longer she’d give in to what she wanted most, him.