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Nathalie groaned softly as she sat up, head fuzzy and disoriented. She let her face drop into her hands, taking a moment to breathe deeply and center herself before trying to think - what was she doing, back in her bedroom at what felt like only the middle of the day?
Sitting back upright, she leant to the side, hand shaky as she fumbled for her glasses. Finally successful, she brought them up to her face, pausing when she noticed the state of her hand - or rather, the state of both her arms and legs. Her fair skin was dotted, quite literally, with a smattering of small black circles. All perfectly round and, at the very least, pleasingly spaced in a semi-random pattern.
Memories filtered back quickly with the sudden reminder: enlisting Ladybug's help in saving Emilie, Gabriel volunteering to use the Earrings when it was made clear just how dangerous the task would be... going behind Gabriel's back, all but begging that child to let her use them in his place, to keep him safe....
What did it say about her, that her first thought wasn't concern about whether or not it had worked, but rather dismay over the fact that she seemed to be scarred with Gabriel's least favorite pattern?
All this time, and still so selfish.
Carefully, she swung her legs over the edge of her bed and heaved herself to her feet, genuinely surprised at how steady she felt - perhaps there was a small upside, to having been connected so thoroughly to the Avatar of Life and Creation.
Stopping long enough to tug on her robe and slippers, she slipped silently from her room, pausing in the hallway to listen for signs of life. Just barely, she could make out sounds of conversation from the direction of the kitchen, and with a last steadying breath, she headed towards it.
It wasn't until she was standing just outside the threshold of the dining room that she was suddenly struck with a sickly feeling - perhaps apprehension? Or nervousness? Regardless, it drew her up short, and instead of entering and announcing herself, she found herself cautiously peering her head around the corner to observe.
The Dupain-Cheng girl was busily preparing food for the group, along with the help of several Kwamis. Adrien flitted back and forth, clearly torn between wanting to help her and wanting to sit with... his parents.
Emile, of course, was a vision in white - flawless and practically radiant with sheer overwhelming joy. Faint tears lingered at the edges of her eyes, but her smile looked almost wide enough to hurt. She was seated at the counter, one hand outstretched to occasionally catch ahold of Adrien's whenever he gravitated close enough, the other tangled with Gabriel's as she leant heavily against him. And Gabriel....
Her chest tightened painfully, to the point of breathlessness as she just stared. She'd never seen him so relaxed... so happy. He stood beside and partially behind Emilie, seeming mostly oblivious to his surroundings, his free hand running almost compulsively through her long golden hair. He looked... good. Peaceful. Stunningly handsome.
Nathalie's breath hitched silently, air trapped uselessly in her throat.
Selfish.
She moved then, backing quickly away from the door before turning on her heel and retreating back towards her room. Haphazardly kicking off her slippers and leaving her robe crumpled in the middle of her floor, she made a beeline for her closet and hastily dressed in the first outfit she managed to grab. Tucked in the back beneath a few neatly folded winter sweaters sat an already packed suitcase, and beside it, a half-empty duffle bag. She pulled both free, tossing the duffle bag onto her bed and dropping the suitcase to the side before moving to her ensuite.
It barely took her more than five minutes to gather her essential toiletries, cellphone and tablet - all things she had practiced packing in a hurry before, in case of... emergencies.
That done, she turned to her bedside table, pulling the drawer out with a bit more force than was strictly necessary and fishing free three letters. She held them for a moment, studying them blankly as she swallowed back a rising tide of emotion.
One was addressed to Adrien, some sort of rambling amalgam of apology and praise. The boy cared so much, so deeply, that it didn't feel right to not offer him at least an attempt at closure.
The other two were to the elder Agreste - one, her official resignation. The other... an attempt at an explanation for her actions. A bit of closure for herself, really, whether or not Gabriel actually felt inclined to read it. Perhaps the official one would be enough for him. She hoped not.
Selfish.
Shaking her head sharply, she left all three signed and sealed letters atop her dresser, in plain view of the doorway - when they eventually came to see why she hadn't turned up for work, they wouldn't have to waste time searching.
Satisfied yet hollow, she took a final scan across the whole room before draping her bag over her shoulders and grabbing her suitcase. Opting for a pair of sensible flats over her usual heels, she slipped into the hall once again, silently shutting the door behind her. She leant against it for a moment, closing her eyes as she steeled herself before pushing away determinedly.
The walk from her bedroom to the front door had never felt so long before....