Work Text:
It was feng Xin and Mu Qing's monthly visit even though Hua Chengs had come back the trio still at least wanted to hangout once a month, so this was what they used as their excuse. Most of the time it was just for a simple chat and maybe sometimes the other two martial gods would go scap collecting with Xie Lian even though they found it stupid. However, on very special days they would meet paradise manor, they only did this if they had too though.
This time I was one of those special days because Xie lian was in an odd mood a didn’t want to leave the ghost king's side.
No one knew what was wrong with him and why he was acting like this, not even the ghost king, no matter if he wanted to or not had to stay in ghost city be Qi Rong was acting up around the city. Yes, Qi Rong is still causing trouble in ghost city.
Feng Xin and Mu Qing where told to go to the gamblers den to meet up with Yin Yu who was going to take them to paradise manor, which was nothing special.
Walking through the streets of ghost city Feng Xin had a look of disgust on his face, one there were way too many girls around most in revealing clothes, second because he for the first time took into thought that Hua Cheng was truly a good person. He had made a home for all these ghosts, a place for them to be comfortable and for them to feel safe, The thought would make anyone in heaven shiver. Mu Qing on the other hand had gotten used to this and even though Hua Cheng and him weren't and good terms He visited ghost city more than anyone in heaven, he himself had found in comfortable there and he enjoyed gambling, he also was surprisingly good at it as well.
The pair stopped in front of the gamblers' den, looked at each other the agreed not to go inside with eye contact. They waited about ten minutes before Yin Yu had arrived to greet the two.
“Im sorry” He said lowering his head to catch his breath “Hua Chengzhu was asking for help with picking up the guest room, so I ran over here as fast as a could after helping.”
“Its fine don’t worry honestly” Feng Xin replied getting up so they could leave.
Although Yin Yu was a quite person he still enjoyed talking to few people Mu Qing Being one, also Feng Xin sometimes. They chatted on the way over to the manor, and before they entered the guest room Yin Yu warned the pair knowing the ghost king didn’t like them much “His highness is truly in an off mood today, so Hua Chengzhu is as well so... try to be polite”
“....we can try” the pair said almost at the same time but very sarcastically.
Yin Yu opened the door for the two said goodbye the walked away.
When the pair walked a bit father into the room, they saw Xie Lian wrapped in a blanket sitting on the bed in the room just starring into space it was hard to tell what he was wearing most likely just his normal white robes, but his hair was down and messy so strands sticking out from his blanket bundle. The ghost king on the other hand was in plan red and white robes his hair was down like normal and there was just a plan black eye patch on his face, however no matter how comfortable he looked you could tell he was worried, he was just sitting next to his husband rubbing his back in a very gentle manor as if he might shatter in something was done wrong.
“..What's the matter with his highness” Feng Xin asked as he entered the room to a very concerning scene.
“I honestly don’t know... Truth be told I woke up this morning because gege screamed it- it looked like he had a nightmare but... the look on his face was just like when he had seen-” he lowered his voice to a whisper trying to not make anything worse than it was then said “like when white-no-face had appeared again.” The two looked at each other then Xie Lian again.
“Hua chengzhu come here I- I know you don’t want to leave his highness but let's talk over he I don’t want to... Scare his highness by accident.” Feng Xin said walking to a corner in the room with Mu Qing.
“I'll be right back gege” Hua Cheng said getting of the bed leaving a kiss on the other forehead before he walked away. Xie Lian looked up in panic grabbing the ghost king's hand, he looked as though he really would shatter in a second.
“I-… San Lang... I uhm...-” he looked up and saw that Feng Xin and Mu Qing were in the room and after hesitating for a second, he let go of Hua Chengs hand and buried his face in the blanket. Hua Cheng patted his head letting him know he would be right there then he walked over to the pair knowing it was the right thing to do.
“Make it quick I don’t want to leave his highness in this state” Hua Cheng said with a glare before calming his expression knowing fighting was not an option at the moment.
“You know the last time I saw his highness like this was the day leading up before I left him alone. The last time I had seen him for 800 years and honestly the expression was hard to forget because as you probably know... He was going insane.” Feng Xin said these words in a low voice but he had a very sad and serious look on his face.
“I'm aware that’s why I'm so worried” Hua Cheng replied with a serious look on his face but it also seemed very worried.
While the three talked in the corner Xie Lian on the other hand felt like he was going insane again. Everything was blurring, voices, his vision, his thoughts were running wild. He peeked his head out of the blanket just to make sure that Hua Cheng and the other two were still there, that they didn’t disappear too. Although he couldn't see well, he still saw a red blur in the corner of the room with two other blurs. His shaking stopped a bit before it started again everything felt as if it was real, that being the scene that kept replaying in his mind.
Two figures hanged from the celling one was beautiful but look tired and exhausted, the other looked sickly and weak with gray hair he looked older than his was. Everything else was blurred. The more this scene of an old memory played in his mind the more he felt as if he was going to scream.
“S-San Lang..” he whispered but it was so quiet in the room that the three heard and stopped their conversation to run over and see what the problem was.
“Yes gege I'm here what's the matter” his tone was very soft and comforting even the two who hated the ghost king for the most part felt how much he cared about the price who used to be forgotten by the world except for him.
“..Feng Xin, Mu Qing...” The prince murmured under his breath. “Yes your highness...” the two said at the same time sitting down on the end of the bed on his left side the ghost king was on his right.
In that moment tears began to run down Xie Lians face. “I..I miss my parents....” he sobbed as he began to cry even harder. Even Hua Cheng was startled by the sudden words from his husband, considering only Xie Lian knew what truly happened to his parents.
In that moment Ruoye flew off his wrist and quickly left the view of the group. Of course, this only confused the three even more.
“Your highness... whatever happened to their majesty's.” Mu Qing finally asked in a confused tone.
“What... What did happen. I they I..” Xie Lian choked out through his crying, he held his head and started to scream. Hua Cheng grabbed his hand and called his name a few times the other two did the same, but Xie Lian couldn’t hear them everything blurred, and he couldn’t think straight, the scene of his parents death played repeatedly in his mind faster than before.
“They... they committed suicide the night Feng Xin left. I- I yelled at them I made them worry its my fault I made the worry I did everything wrong I was a horrible son I did everything wrong I let them down, everything that happened to the kingdom my people it was all my fault BECAUSE ALL I DID WAS THINK ABOUT MYSELF NO ONE ELSE, I ONLY DID WHAT I THOUGHT WAS RIGHT ..I'm- I'm so sorry” Xie lian said in a fast voice leaving no room for comment he was starting to shake uncontrollably “ruoye is the silk that my parents had committed suicide with, after I found the I.. took them down then I forced myself to eat my mother cooking..but I.. I also tried to commit suicide I didn’t care that I couldn’t die I hanged there I just..wanted to die everyone left me I was alone it felt as though I was just a piece of trash everyone stepped on. When I fell and hit the floor I saw in front of me a white silk.. It had been injected with spiritual powers and the blood of royals... I just I wanted to die so bad I couldn’t focus on anything..” He cried out the words through his sobs.
Feng Xin face was frozen he couldn't think straight, Mu Qing had tears running down his face he could only help but feel it was also his fault if he stayed and didn’t leave that day..maybe the fate of the king and queen would be different, and Hua Cheng was also almost in tears thinking that his love was in so much pain that he even tried to kill himself the thought shatter his soul leaving his mind a mess like his beloveds.
“After that everything was such a mess that I.. I had almost became white clothes calamity. All I wanted to do was get revenge for the people I blamed for my stupid thoughts and mistakes, I truly was going insane the people left from my kingdom cheered for the people that I had blamed partially for the fall of my kingdom..i gave into what Bai wuxiang had wanted and I was so.. So close to losing myself I wanted everyone to die I didn’t care if it was children of the elderly I was so.. Crazy that I blinded myself from everything. Someone gave me that hat I used to wear all the time it helped me realize what I was doing what.. What the world would become if I kept going. I NEVER WANTED TO HURT PEOPLE EVER. I... I wanted to save the people of the world and instead I was about to send the world into despair.” He paused for a moment to gather his breathing trying to stabilize it.
“I went realized to late though... Because of me Wu Ming..San Lang died for a second time it pushed me into insanity again but more of a heart break insanity I couldn’t protect at the time my last believer, and everything feel apart. Truth be told I don’t remember what I did after that but I do know that I.. fought with Jun Wu after he ‘killed’ white-no-face I excepted my fate and roamed the world for 800 years as myself punishment for all a did..Some nights I had nightmares about Wu Ming, others it was my parents... Even some I dreamed that Feng Xin and Mu Qing came back and it was all just a bad dream my parents weren't dead, I never tried to ruin the Yong An with the human face disses and Wu Ming was still alive my kingdom was back and people laughed and talked as the roamed the streets..” He started to sob more as he spoke some sentences, he laughed in a sad way others he was shaking and speeded up his speech.
“i just wish that was how it was. I wish I had just been smarter back then if I wasn’t so selfish as to think I could handle everything on my own maybe I would have ended up as a laughingstock for over 800 years... I wish the me from now could meet me from back then and tell him what he was doing would never work on his own no mater what..”
As Xie Lian ended his speech his crying slowly stopped, and everything calmed. He finally said words he had been wanting to say for 800 years it felt good to say out loud.
Mu Qing covered his face embarrassed he was crying so hard he just couldn’t help it, this was the way the person he abandoned felt they way he lived for years after he left because he was to worried about be jugged and made fun of even though he was being criticized by everyone laughed at and made a fool, hell he was going insane. Mu Qing felt as though everything might have been better if he never left..
Feng Xin himself was holding back tears, he left and because of that it was the final pushing point for all the royal family, the king a queen had been pushed over the edge and felt as though they couldn't go on living and killed themself. Xie Lian felt the same as his parents did but he couldn’t die which caused him to finally go insane and do all the things he did.
Hua chengs on the other had grabbed Xie Lian and held him in his arms. He knew everything his beloved had went through but he never knew he suffered so much to where he tried to kill himself, and because he wasn’t strong enough and died in his first fight with white-no-face Xie Lian suffered and had nightmares about it, the thought made he want to destroy his own bone ashes.
Everyone was silent for a moment the only sound you heard to sobs from both Xie Lian and Mu Qing, everyone was collecting their thoughts before anyone felt like they had the right to say anything.
“YOUR HIGHNESS” Mu Qing finally cried grabbing Xie Lian from Hua Chengs arms to hug him. He was crying so hard he tears almost went through the blanket Xie Lian was wrapped in.
…..
“IM SO SORRY.... I LEFT YOU THAT DAY MABEY ...IF I DIDNT LEAVE IT WOULD BE DIFFRENT, ...I WAS SELFISH... AND DIDNT RELIZE HOW MUCH WE ...WE WHERE ALL SUFFURING ..PLEASE FORGIVE ME” he managed to say through broken sobs and cry's refusing to let go of Xie Lian. “..Mu Qing....Thank you.. It wasn’t you fault alone it was all three of ours..” Xie Lian took his hands out of the blanket to hug Mu Qing back seeing how sad his friend was.
“..Im sorry as well your highness” Feng Xin spoke up “i knew you weren't in the right state of mind and you where going crazy... but I still let your words convince me to leave..im so sorry.” He hugged Xie Lian with Mu Qing letting some tears fall.
“Your highness I'm also sorry.. I know there was nothing for me to do at that time but I still feel so bad for everything that happened” Hua Cheng said resting his forehead on Xie Lians shoulder.
They stayed like that for a while before getting up.
Hua Cheng wouldn’t let go of Xie Lian but the other two knew there place and let go. Mu qing wiped his tears and looked away embarrassed because he had been crying, Feng Xin just looked away kind of nervous.
“Thank you guys for listening I feel better finally saying those words out loud” Xie Lian said, his eyes where red from crying so much his nose was running and he was still shaking a little.
--
After everything calmed down Feng Xin and Mu Qing left to go back to heaven and Xie Lian stayed with Hua Cheng at the manor. Everyone even though they story was sad felt much better after hearing Xie Lians words and saying there's it made everyone realize things they didn’t before, Feng Xin and Mu Qing didn’t even fight for like a week one night Feng Xin even stayed and Mu Qing place and another night Xie Lian Stayed at Mu Qings to finally talk about things they never got to say to each other. In the end tings went back to normal but now knowing the things they didn’t before the air felt better in the atmosphere around them.