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They hadn’t meant to make it their song, they had a whole album full of handwritten songs for Christ’s sake. If any song was going to be their song, it should have been a song they had spent hours and hours toiling over, right? But much like the invisible force that had tied them together from the very beginning, they didn’t have much choice in this either. Jaebeom had randomly heard it on a suggested songs playlist and it had gotten stuck in his head. Then, it got stuck in Jinyoung’s head after Jaebeom took to humming it whenever he saw Jinyoung, almost like laying eyes on Jinyoung brought forth the song from his mind. The humming turned into whispered, soothing singing during late nights spent cuddling up close trying to let the day’s stress wash away. Eventually, the lyrics were as deeply interwoven with the memories that made them them that it was almost as if it had been with them throughout the years. As if it had always been there for them to sing to each other as they’d grown through the years, seamlessly fitting into all their precious memories.
...
You don't know babe
When you hold me
And kiss me slowly
It's the sweetest thing
When it was just them two against the world, two scared kids facing the intimidating world of celebrity life. The times they would crawl into a bed that barely fit one person much less two growing boys and hide away from it all. This was before they had actually acknowledged any additional feelings. Even then, they were instinctively drawn to each other, the mere presence and warmth of a hug keeping fears at bay. This is what gave them the strength to get up the next morning and fight the good fight again, to never give up. As long as their hands were tightly grasped together, there was no doubt they could make all their dreams come true.
...
And it don't change
If I had it my way
You would know that you are
When it wasn’t just the two of them anymore, but seven and they’re dreams were actively coming true but were falling apart at the same time. Even with the addition of their new members – their brothers now, the bond Jaebeom and Jinyoung had remained strong and a being of its own. So, when for the first time in years they were forced apart, it is like there is a gaping hole missing from their souls. They had worked so hard to achieve this goal; their first concert. Yet Jaebeom wasn’t here, standing right next to them all, next to Jinyoung, as this dream was realized.
Jinyoung is doing his best to fill the shoes of their leader. Desperately trying to figure out how Jaebeom handled as much as he did without letting any one of them know. During their nightly calls Jinyoung jokes to Jaebeom that his shoulders are as broad as they are because of all the responsibility he bears. Jaebeom only laughs softly back and asks how Jinyoung’s handling it all. Both men are speaking in riddles, threading cautiously to hide all the gloomier emotions that hang overhead. Jaebeom is beating himself up constantly about not being there with them in this monumental step. Jinyoung is beating back the urge to let Jaebeom know just how painfully he is missed.
Through their riddles and charades, the message still gets through clearly every night: they are loved, they are cherished, and they are counting down the minutes until they are reunited.
...
You're the coffee that I need in the mornin
You're my sunshine in the rain when it's pouring
Sometimes Jinyoung would get so tired. So, so tired. All his dreams were coming true but it was exhausting. Exhausting to have back to back schedules, then practice, then run-throughs of scenes and actual filming. And this was only the professional responsibilities. He could not – would not let himself— forget to check in with his parents, his sisters and his kiddos. The group chat was always active but if he took too long to reply the members had taken to individually spamming his phone until he replied in the affirmative that yes, yes he was still alive and not passed out in an alleyway. As annoying as he pretended it to be, no one could mistake the smile that bloomed on his face each time he looked at his phone. It was easy to forget sometimes how this was all worth it though, when Jinyoung would have to drag himself out of bed after having only collapsed onto it a scant two hours ago. When he could barely keep his eyes open and narrowly avoided crashing into the walls as he walked to the kitchen. But each and every time, Jaebeom would be there waiting with a plate made and coffee prepared. Just like that, magically, Jinyoung would have all the energy he needed to face another day. And no matter how much the other members teased, Jinyoung would never, ever admit if that boost came from the coffee or the warm, steady smile that greeted him each morning.
Sometimes Jaebeom would get frustrated. Anger and disappointment wreaking havoc in his mind as he tried to scribble down onto paper the thoughts clouding his head into some semblance of lyrics. During these times, it was common for him to hole up in his studio for days at a time. Delivery boys would come around like clockwork morning, afternoon, evening and into the night (for snacks of course). Jaeboem would spend most of the time hunched over his computer, notebook and loose papers spread across the table and earphones grafted to this head. The few times he decided to rest he would shuffle over to the gray couch on the far wall and try to fit his body into a semi-comfortable position before passing out for a few hours. It was common for Jaebeom to be working in his studio, so no one finds it odd until he goes AWOL for 3 or more days. Radio silence for that long was the indicator for his friends, his family or the members to call in their pinch hitter to rescue the damsel from her tower. And when Jinyoung would walk into the tiny room, arms heavy with bags of homemade food and changes of clothes, he would be greeted by an extremely grumpy Jaebeom scowling so fiercely it almost manifested thunderstorms over his head. He would pry the earphones off Jaebeom’s head despite the other’s attempts to swat away his hands and lead him over to the couch before setting up the food. They would sit there for a few hours catching up on the events of the outside world over the past few days and eventually the conversation would turn to what has caused Jaebeom to be in his latest rut. Slowly, ever so slowly Jinyoung would unravel the knot Jaebeom had woven himself into with soothing words and unshakeable reassurances of his talent. With one last blinding smile and tight hug Jinyoung would leave a much lighter Jaebeom to his work and a few hours later Jaebeom would finally exit his studio having completed his latest project. When asked (most likely teasingly) by everyone what finally pushed him past the final hurdle, Jaebeom would only shrug and answer that inspiration had finally struck him like a burst of sunshine through gray skies.
...
It's this sunrise
And those brown eyes, yes
You're the one that I desire
Once in a blue moon, the stars would align so that after nonstop events and responsibilities, both their schedules would be blessedly empty. When these days come around, they pile themselves into the car and the manager already knows to drop them off at whoever’s apartment is nearest. When they reach their destination, there is just enough energy to shower before collapsing onto the bed and into a deep slumber.
The best part of the new day comes early when they can sleep in and wake up hazy and soft, cuddled into each other. Far past the blushing awkwardness of a new relationship, the second one to rise only grumbles and tugs the other closer to sleep more when he wakes up to warm eyes staring fondly, mapping the contours, moles and lines on a face they’ve seen more often than their own. This is the time to note the changes that have occurred since the last time they were allowed the opportunity to be so leisurely, so care-free for a day. Every new detail merge flawlessly with the existing angles and rounded edges – adding to the masterpiece rather than detracting.
Later, much later, when they can fully wake up, it’s to soft kisses and feather like touches reaffirming words that they are still too sleepy to voice. All that needs to be said is shared as they lock gazes anyway. Laughter, happiness, and love.