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How many a times you had mused over the thoughts which swirled in your mind each time your y/e/c gaze landed upon the Ishgardian elezen, you had lost count. Many a time, you had pushed those thoughts off as simply silly musings. Small thoughts transformed over time, especially as the kind elezen had become your own hero in the darkest days of Ul'dah. The elezen man's kindness knew no bounds, and neither had his loyalty. More than once, a word or two slipped past his tongue, tempting you to share your musings, and yet you never had. In the maw of war, you saw no such discourse to burden him with your blossoming emotions.
It took merely an instant for those thoughts to turn towards the looming regret, a shield held with a taut grip as the man's face illuminated by the light of the beam he held back. He merely stood a yalm in front of you, his stance firm as he struggled against the weaponry. As the group had nearly won, nearly caught the Archbishop, the beam of light had been meant to pierce through your body, and yet, he fought back against it with as much force as was stored in his lithe frame.
Dread filled you the moment your y/e/c eyes grew wide, the piercing power of the attack far more than a mere shield could withstand. For a moment, a moment that seemed as a lifetime, you were frozen for the first time since you had been named the Warrior of Light. Though your eyes gazed, the aetheryte gleam pierced through the man's body, your mind had barely begun processing the scene before you.
Aymeric, weak as he had been, still managed to be the first to pull Haurchefant into his arm, though those deep blue hues shifted towards you. By his side, you knelt, your brows furrowed in sheer anguish as you breathed his name. Chest tight, you could feel as each piece of your heart eroded away.
With crimson dripping from his soft lips, one brush of it down to his chin, his words dripped weakly. Though they held weakness, in his moments, he still directed his concerns towards you. "You…" he struggled out, though he seemed to force his weak, breaking voice to stay as strong as he could manage. "You are unharmed?" He paused merely a moment, and you could feel your mouth dry. "Forgive me…I could not bare the thought of…of…" His hand reached out to you, something you quickly took in your own grasp.
Tears brimmed y/e/c eyes as you gazed upon him. In this moment, so many things entered your mind, so many things you still wished to say to the man who had stolen your heart. Haurchefant had been the man of your dreams, truly, the brightest shining star amist the darkest of nights, and always you had brushed those thoughts away from you. Each time you convinced yourself that you would tell him after the war, after the conflict, you knew now that you would never receive that chance. To spill that chance in his last breaths was something you felt selfish for wishing. With pursed lips, you simply held his hand with a tightness you prayed would show him the depth of your care, concerned the moment your mouth opened that your voice would crack upon deaf ears.
"Oh, do not look at me so, my love," he spoke, his voice weak, and yet still as sweet as it had ever been. "A smile looks best on you."
Despite the tears that welled in your y/e/c eyes, so desperate to drip down your cheeks, you forced your lips upwards at the dying elezen. Gazing at him, your y/e/c eyes locked upon his own fading ones, praying in this moment that he had known. You could not force those words past your lips, even with his own admission, and yet, you could be there in the man's last moments. As you watched his lips curl upwards at your own smile, your tears nearly poured like waterfalls down your cheeks. Willing them not yet to spill, you granted the man those last moments that he desired, though you earned yourself many regrets in the process.
A stray tear finally pierced the barrier of your eyes as you watched the man slump in Ser Aymeric's arms, your heart nothing but dust upon the floor. It took you more than a moment to pry your gaze away, so many things you wished you could take back, things you wished you had done. In another time, another life, perchance, the two of you could have been together. Though you understood the life of a knight, the man's loyalty, that his life would have ended no other way, it had not softened the blow.
The free moment you had gotten, as Alphianauld spoke of meeting at Fortemps manor as soon as they could, had been a luxury you had been shocked to afford. No one lingered around you as you took the long way, an alleyway in Ishgard, and you had allowed those tears to flow over. A waterfall of pain overtook you as you pressed painfully against the stone wall, your sobs silent into the handkerchief you remembered he had lent you the day the two of you had met.
You could feel his presence beside you, the aetheric glow hard for you to miss in such a lonesome alleyway. Though he merely had been about the aetheric current, you could feel the ghost of his arms wrap tightly around you. Deep, in the back of your mind, you could hear his whisper.
I swear to you, I shall always be beside you, you could hear him speak. Keep on fighting for me, my love.
You swallowed your tears the best you could, y/e/c eyes closing as you relished in the ghost of his embrace. Forcing a smile upon your lips once more, you steadied your breaths. "Unto my very last breath, I shall," you promised him softly, words which took to the winds, yet meant for him alone.