Work Text:
Yoo Joonghyuk sighed, frowning right after he opened his eyes. It was the early morning, and he found himself remembering the meeting he had to attend on that very day.
The manager of his gaming team had proposed that Yoo Joonghyuk worked with some company in a campaign to promote a new game–Ways of Survival. Usually,Yoo Joonghyuk ignored these proposals and instead focused on providing good gaming content, which had been what brought him to be one of the most popular pro-gamers and streamers in the first place. This time, however, he couldn't disagree as easily since he had already turned down too many partnership offers and his manager had warned him that being so dismissive wasn't a good look on him.
He didn’t care, per se, but he was aware that he was under a contract. He had to at least comply with some requests, lest he wound up being forced to do something even more tedious than a promoting campaign.
He moved numbly through the steps of his routine, noticing the growing feeling of uneasiness in his chest, and while he wasn’t sure that it was himself provoking it, he focused on calming himself down. The other person didn’t deserve to be put through Yoo Joonghyuk’s ever worsening mood.
He decided to leave his apartment early, if only because he felt that he would end up skipping the meeting if he thought about it for too long. It truly was a troublesome thing.
Yoo Joonghyuk arrived at the agreed location with the team, walking through the busy corridors in which the rest of employees were rushing to finish their tasks.
He glanced at his watch. It was barely noon.
That was exactly the reason why he had chosen to continue his pro-gaming career instead of getting an office job or anything remotely similar. Even if he had attended college—the thought of being a slave to a company that would use him while he was young and strong only to throw him away when he was no longer useful didn't appeal to him in the slightest.
The office in which the rest of the team was waiting for him was spacious, but not overwhelmingly so. Gray walls and decoration scarce, as most office spaces opted for, these days. Sunlight filtered through the windows—which would have given it a warm feeling had he wanted to be there at all.
“Ah, Joonghyuk-ssi,” said a man in a dark suit as soon as he entered the office, wearing a smile too big to be anything but fake. “Welcome. Unfortunately we are going to be missing one person in this meeting. Normally we would have replaced him with someone else, but it was too short notice.”
Yoo Joonghyuk nodded and walked the rest of the way inside the room, taking one of the two available seats at the table and tried to make himself comfortable, which was very nearly impossible, as the tightness in his chest kept growing ever since he woke up. He could say that he hadn't seen it coming, but he would be lying. The uneasy feeling had been accompanying him for the entire week, that had been increasing as the days went by. He knew it wasn’t an emotion that belonged to him, even if that morning he was almost sure he had made it worse for both him and his soulmate with his sour mood. Still, Yoo Joonghyuk had always known that he shared both his mind and his heart with someone else.
Yet he knew that nothing would come from asking.
The ability to listen to his soulmate’s thoughts or feel his emotions didn't exactly mean he was able to actually communicate with them, nevermind that it should have been that way. Having a soulmate was supposed to mean having someone by your side, even while physically apart. They were a constant presence in your life, overwhelming your emotions and interrupting your thoughts—quite literally. Since soulmates often shared telepathic or emotional bonds, sometimes even both, as was his case.
However, this seemed not to matter to his ever avoidant soulmate, always running from him, even when they were still kids. Yoo Joonghyuk never got even as far as a simple name. The only thing he got from his soulmate were stories, every night, ever since he could remember. He knew every twist in every fairytale, the most predictable route in every romance story, the most exciting part of any action novel. His soulmate would read every night for hours on end, his soulmate would read to him. This way, it was easy to know that as much as his soulmate dreaded opening up, he wasn't uncaring of him.
After all, one can never really run from their soulmate. At least not forever.
That’s how he knew that something had upset his soulmate. Emotions couldn't be concealed as thoughts were. Thus, his soulmate had no way of hiding them from him.
“Joonghyuk-ssi?” He heard one of the people in the office call out to him. “Shall we go through the points in the contract? You and your manager can make the necessary adjustments as we go.” Suggested the man from earlier, who seemed to be the leader.
“Get started, then.” He said curtly, not bothering to hide his disdain for the meeting. It wasn’t that he was purposefully uncooperative, he simply didn’t see the point, even less so after they informed him that due to the missing person in the meeting, they would have to meet again the following week to go over the details of the game that he had to showcase in his stream.
With the feeling of anxiousness rippling through his body, the meeting seemed to stretch forever. The contract was made well enough so that he and his manager barely made any adjustments to it. It had been a long time since he last felt a strong enough emotion from his soulmate, one that would make him feel discomfort.
It all ended just as he started feeling his soulmate’s distressed emotions turn into slight annoyance. The fact that their emotions had changed so rapidly in the span of a few moments –from distress to irritation– told him that whatever it was his soulmate was dealing with now, it was enough to distract him from his own discomfort. It was, then, okay for Yoo Joonghyuk to start his afternoon stream when he got home. Sometimes, when he sensed his soulmate’s restlessness through their bond, he avoided streaming for too long or playing games that could possibly make him feel frustrated, as he didn’t want to add to his soulmate’s uneasiness. However, that afternoon, the person on the other side of the bond seemed to have been able to calm down on their own, perhaps, Yoo Joonghyuk’s zen meditation was rubbing off on them, as well.
During his evening stream, Yoo Joonghyuk announced his collaboration with the company, to which his viewers seemed to have a rather positive reaction, as some of the messages said something about the game being promising. Aside from that, he was able to unlock the last levels of the game he was currently playing, and after that his stream was uneventful enough that he was thankful for the quietness as he finished.
■■
The ticking of the clock on the wall seemed to taunt Yoo Joonghyuk as he dried his hair after taking his second shower of the day. Yoo Joonghyuk listened to the beating of his heart as his mind and body refused to rest, too used to the routine he had maintained for more than ten years.
At exactly 11 pm, like clockwork, the soft voice of his soulmate entered his mind, carrying yet another story, a new world. A world that his soulmate wasn’t scared of sharing with him, even if it wasn’t real. Those stories were all they shared.
Nevermind the beating of their hearts.
That night, Yoo Joonghyuk fell asleep to the tale of a demon king who protected a mere mortal at all costs, watched over him and sacrificed everything for the human. It was, Yoo Joonghyuk thought, an oddly selfless purpose for a demon king character, yet he had to admit that the story brought a tightness to his chest. One that he felt mirrored in his soulmate’s own. More so, as the human reciprocated the fervent devotion the demon king bestowed upon him.
The euphonious voice ringed in his head well into the night, until Yoo Joonghyuk could no longer fend the need for sleep off., the voice carried him to the same peaceful rest it had for years.
A bond didn’t have to be conventional for the people involved to be close. They just needed to understand each other. Fortunately for him and his soulmate, quietness seemed to work just fine. That’s what their heads told them, at least. What they desperately tried to convince themselves as distance seemed to grow more unbearable each passing day.
Their hearts, however, begged to differ.
■■
When Kim Dokja got back to his apartment after a long day of dealing with Han Sooyoung’s bullshit, he found himself feeling relaxed and calm underneath the simmering feeling of annoyance he felt after Sooyoung threatened to contact Yoo Joonghyuk herself if she had to bear his online pining one more second.
He would have found it odd, if it had been the first time, but he had long known that at some point during their teenage years, Yoo Joonghyuk had picked up on the fact that he was sensitive to negative emotions, letting himself be dragged down by them, and only after a few times did Kim Dokja notice that whenever he started feeling any strong negative emotion it was followed by a wave of calmness coming from the other side of the bond.
Did Yoo Joonghyuk think he was some kind of Zen master? They never talked, so he could only guess that it was simply Yoo Joonghyuk’s way of countering the negative bout of emotions that would overwhelm both of them otherwise. Even as he pretended to hate it, the warmth he felt at the care and attention his Yoo Joonghyuk gave him was something he couldn’t deny.
He hadn’t intended to find out who his soulmate was at first, didn’t want to burden them with the mess that his life was. Had been for years. It was truly just a coincidence when he found the guy’s stream once when browsing for something to watch.
He had been 17 at the time, life recently fallen apart. Broken, and with far too many issues. Kim Dokja had heard Yoo Joonghyuk’s name on the same day that his tragedy started. He knew what it meant when the two words came over the bond. It was an offering, truly just what any other soulmate would do. They were supposed to be there for each other, so Yoo Joonghyuk had given him an opening. Giving him his name was as good as telling him come to me.
He knew he had let his emotions get the better of him, that was probably why Yoo Joonghyuk even felt the need to communicate with him using actual words after years of silence. He refused to put that burden on Yoo Joonghyuk, but the knowledge that he was there, willing to welcome Kim Dokja into his life without hesitation gave him the courage to continue living.
Kim Dokja had found Yoo Joonghyuk’s streaming channel, yet he had decided to keep quiet. A quietness that most would have considered as dismissal and rejection, but that his soulmate didn’t question. Not even once. Their emotions spoke for themselves, even when their thoughts wouldn’t.
It was ten years later that Kim Dokja found himself working for a tech developing company that was slowly getting into the gaming business. Kim Dokja himself was involved in the testing and coding of the games, which was how he found out that the company was trying to get Yoo Joonghyuk—his own soulmate—to sign a contract with them.
At first, he deemed it absurd. Yoo Joonghyuk was known for rejecting most companies, even when the deals were good. After all, he hadn’t gained his title as ‘the supreme king’ by wasting time sponsoring companies. He had climbed up the ladder by playing constantly and focusing on his own strategies, rather than copying other gamers, which was the reason his playing style made him unique. It may have helped that he was easy on the eyes, too.
It wasn’t favoritism for his soulmate, Yoo Joonghyuk’s face truly looked like it was carved carefully by a god. Sharp eyes and thick brows, strong jaw, and high cheekbones. His heart would have been struck by one of cupid’s arrows even if Yoo Joonghyuk hadn’t been his soulmate.
Even so, Kim Dokja helped write an email to Yoo Joonghyuk’s team, the one email that got back a positive answer, and he realized that it meant he would have to meet the man. He immediately tried to weasel his way out of the project, said it would be better if someone else was on the team dealing with Yoo Joonghyuk. His superiors refused to listen. After all, several attempts had been made to get the pro-gamer to make a contract with them, but only his email got them the deal. Unless he wanted to be fired, he would have to face his soulmate.
He found that pretending it was a normal game he was working on helped him reduce the anxiety that finishing it caused him. Because Ways of Survival being ready would mean Yoo Joonghyuk would walk into the building to sign the contract, so he workedhis days away, hoping his superiors would change their mind and find him too incompetent to bargain with Yoo Joonghyuk.
His hopes, however, came crashing down as he found himself meeting with Yoo Joonghyuk’s manager a week prior to the signing as a means to tick off some clauses that could be discussed without Yoo Joonghyuk, who refused to interact with the company more than what was absolutely necessary. It was okay that way, he told himself, he had more time to prepare. He ignored the disappointment he felt at the fact that Yoo Joonghyuk had refused to see him, not that the progamer even knew who exactly it was that he would have been meeting.
■■
Kim Dokja was supposed to play a key role in the meeting with Yoo Joonghyuk, but his days prior to it were spent pretending he Was Okay instead of mentally preparing himself to meet Yoo Joonghyuk.
He barely had an appetite, so he didn’t eat. Even though his sleeping schedule was far from desirable, he still managed to sleep even less, resulting in him fainting on his way to the office, all while on a call with Han Sooyoung, his personal nightmare and best friend. Such was the way in which he was forced by her to return home and rest after coming to his senses in a hospital bed. However, before letting him go home she forced him to eat at her place and tell her exactly why it was that he was acting so stupidly when he had already decided that meeting Yoo Joonghyuk was something that couldn’t be helped.
What scared Kim Dokja was that there was no way Yoo Joonghyuk wouldn’t recognize him. Even if they didn’t share a bond that would quite literally tell him when he met his soulmate, Kim Dokja had spent his life reading to Yoo Joonghyuk, the moment he opened his mouth, he was bound to be recognized.
He couldn’t lie, either, given that Yoo Joonghyuk had told him his name and he had been working on the project for months. It would be unbelievable for him to pretend not to know that Yoo Joonghyuk was his soulmate.
Lying about having only found out that Yoo Joonghyuk was his soulmate was out of the question as well, as Han Sooyoung’s girlfriend and another of his best friends advised him against it. Something about how a relationship built on lies and distrust couldn’t be a long lasting one.
Even though he was feeling calmer upon getting home, he still spent the night feeling restless and unable to sleep, until the medicine that he got earlier finally knocked him out.
It could be considered both a curse and a blessing, that the following days he was forced to sleep by the strong medicine he was taking. That way, there was no fainting episode that rendered him unable to show up to the meeting in which he would have to see Yoo Joonghyuk.
■■
Kim Dokja wiped the sweat from his forehead as he stood in front of the door that separated him from the rest of the members of the meeting. This time, it was only Kim Dokja, Yoo Joonghyuk and their selected retinue, as the rest of the members in his team were unnecessary for the game details
He entered the room trying to appear confident, yet he felt himself crumble the moment Yoo Joonghyuk’s sharp eyes locked on his.
The screen truly didn’t do him any justice. Yoo Joonghyuk in flesh and bone was all sharp angles and strong features, even the frown on his face and the straight line of his mouth as he stared at Kim Dokja were more attractive than they had any right to be.
He avoided Yoo Joonghyuk’s eyes as he opened his mouth to apologize for being late. “Sorry for the wait, gentlemen, shall we begin?”
From the corner of his eye, he saw Yoo Joonghyuk stiffen and his eyes widening, yet his face remained as expressionless as ever, betraying none of the feeling of shock that overcame Kim Dokja from the other side of the connection.
■■
The man who stood now in front of Yoo Joonghyuk didn’t have a face that he could say he recognized, yet upon landing his eyes on the fair frame and pale skin, the deep and dark eyes, the soft-looking strands of hair, his very soul called out to the being now talking to him—and his manager.
His suspicions were confirmed when the man opened his mouth and started talking with the same voice that haunted–blessed–his dreams. The same quiet voice that carried a hundred and more stories to him,his personal Scheherezade, the voice that had bewitched him for twenty-something years.
His personal conflicts, however, were no issue his manager should be privy to. He decided to keep quiet, even if the nagging beating of his heart kept telling him to pin down this idiot and demand answers. He was, after all, no fool. The avoidance in the other’s eyes was proof enough that he recognized Yoo Joonghyuk, and not just because they had to work together.
“...as I was saying, Joonghyuk-ssi must complete all levels of the game and give an opinion on the final product..” The man, whose name he now knew was Kim Dokja kept talking about the game and the contract, addressing Yoo Joonghyuk only in the most formal of ways and refusing to make eye contact. He noticed, however, the slight tremble in the soft voice that he had grown to be all too familiar with, the quivering of slender hands that Kim Dokja tried to hide by moving his hands around.
Yoo Joonghyuk agreed to all terms, if only to make the meeting end faster, even his manager seemed surprised by how compliant he was being, but decided not to comment on it. The office was charged with a tension he hadn’t felt in the meeting with the other members of the team the company assigned them to.
“Well then, Juwon-ssi, Joonghyuk-ssi, if there are no more inquiries we shall end the meeting here, it was my pleasure to work with you. My team and I will keep in contact in case any questions arise.” Kim Dokja stood up, fully intending to see them off and pretending he didn’t notice the holes Yoo Joonghyuk was glaring into him.
“You can leave first.” Yoo Joonghyuk uttered to his manager through tight lips, standing near the entryway alongside Kim Dokja, who went pale.
Yoo Joonghyuk looked at Kim Dokja expectantly after his manager left and Kim Dokja closed the door after him, turning to look at Yoo Joonghyuk, the muscles of his body visibly stiff.
“Look, I know what you’re thinking, but it’s actually much worse than what you’re imagining.”
Yoo Joonghyuk didn’t dare open his mouth, lest this skittish man in front of him ended up fleeing and leaving his questions unanswered.
“I know you think I found out you are my—'' He stopped mid sentence, as if forcing the words out of his mouth was a challenge in itself.
At last, Kim Dokja inhaled and let the words flow out. “I know you think I found out you’re my soulmate during the early stages of this project and still refused to go find you, but I actually…I have actually known how to find you for years, and I didn’t. I didn’t try to find you at all. So, if you want to hate me for it, I will understand.”
There were truly some ridiculous people in the world, such was his luck that his soulmate turned out to be one of those people. Implying that Yoo Joonghyuk would give him up right after finding him. Even if he wanted to escape, there was no way he would allow it.
Yoo Joonghyuk couldn’t say that he was necessarily hurt by Kim Dokja’s confession, after all, he had always known that the man’s avoidance didn’t mean neglect on the man’s side. He knew from some infamous tales what a broken bond was supposed to be like: the feeling that a bond to someone who didn’t want you was supposed to evoke. All those things were never what being bonded to Kim Dokja felt like.
Even after being met with silence from his soulmate for years, Kim Dokja’s heart was never silent. It beat fast alongside his own when Yoo Joonghyuk felt any sort of joy or positive emotion, and he felt it clench with worry whenever he didn’t manage to conceal a negative one. That was Kim Dokja’s way of letting him know he was there, that their souls weren’t bound together by some fluke of the universe. Making even Yoo Joonghyuk believe that, maybe, they had always been two souls drifting along space and time longing to find each other again.
He knew that he hadn’t been any better. The only thing he had offered Kim Dokja, had been his name–not a proper conversation, or information about himself. In part because he had always sensed his soulmate’s reluctance to communicate openly. Yet Yoo Joonghyuk knew that the blame for their unconventional bond didn’t fall solely upon Kim Dokja.
This time, he wouldn’t give Kim Dokja the choice to stay silent.
■■
“Why?” Yoo Joonghyuk asked in a deep voice that sounded almost hurt after Kim Dokja revealed to him that he knew who he was for years. Almost, because he sounded more annoyed than anything.
Kim Dokja knew that Yoo Joonghyuk had all the right to be angry, after all, more often than not, soulmates arranged a way to meet as soon as possible. Knowing who your soulmate was and not trying to get to them was usually understood as a sign of rejection. But Kim Dokja never said anything. He was selfish enough to leave Yoo Joonghyuk hanging for years without telling him to find someone else even when he knew he wasn’t making any effort to make their relationship get better either.
“I wasn’t in a position to ask for someone to save me. How could I ask for anyone, even my soulmate, to carry that burden with them?” Kim Dokja winced, even as he said the words, he knew Yoo Joonghyuk wouldn’t accept them, he knew this stubborn man’s heart far too well.
“Who said it would have been a burden?” Yoo Joonghyuk demanded through gritted teeth.
But Kim Dokja knew. He knew that it wouldn’t have been anything but a burden. His life had fallen apart at a very young age, the happy ever after that two soulmate-less beings such as his parents offered each other was shattered merely a few years after they got married. After all, the universe gave you a soulmate for a reason, deciding by yourself that you didn’t want them and attempting to break the connection was the easiest path to despair for both ends of a bond. Kim Dokja didn’t want Yoo Joonghyuk to be involved in the scandal that his broken family found itself into.
He only confirmed that he made the right decision when Yoo Joonghyuk became a progamer, it would only have ruined his reputation to be involved with the likes of Kim Dokja. Besides, the trials, the media, visiting his mom in jail, being left out by everyone, his overwhelming need to just disappear from the world, and…his attempt to. Kim Dokja would have never forced anyone to go through that. Especially not his soulmate, not the person he was supposed to make happy.
“Stop thinking bullshit and answer me, Kim Dokja. That wasn’t for you to decide, this bond is ours, not yours alone. You could have let me stand by your side, at the very least, and I would have done it.” Yoo Joonghyuk sighed, seemingly taken over by a bout of…of what? Maybe Kim Dokja was still a coward who refused to see the obvious signs in front of him.
But it would be ridiculous, right? To think that Yoo Joonghyuk would feel even the tiniest amount of love for him after what he did was merely wishful thinking. His own desires were making him delusional. Yoo Joonghyuk deserved someone better. He probably knew it, too.
“You can’t say that. You can’t say that because you’re just proving me right. You would have done that because that’s what everyone would do for their soulmate. You don’t owe me that, Yoo Joonghyuk.”
Striding forward, Yoo Joonghyuk grabbed Kim Dokja’s head and brought it near his own, debating whether he should headbutt this idiot or just give those rosy lips a kiss to shut him up. “What do you know, fool? You spent your life trying to resist our connection, but I have a fault on this, too. I should have forced you to my side the moment you started having stupid thoughts. I was left to try and sense your every emotion, because I couldn’t have your thoughts. Because you didn’t let me have your thoughts. I might have had my faults too, but it was you who decided to close off. And now it’s time to pay your debt.”
“That’s no—”
“Let me finish.” Kim Dokja felt as though Yoo Joonghyuk was staring directly into his soul from his intense gaze, he felt the burning gaze warming up his very bones. Telling him to stay, telling him Yoo Joonghyuk wasn’t lying. Telling him you can rest now. I will take care of you, if you let me. “I refused to give up on you, Kim Dokja, because you refused to give up on me, too. Otherwise you wouldn’t have continued to read those stories for me during all of these years. The only difference between us is that I’m not being a coward. I refused to give you up all those years ago, and I refuse to give you up now.”
Kim Dokja felt close to tears. Maybe, judging by the wet feeling on his cheeks, he was already in tears. It didn’t matter, because he felt his very soul call out to Yoo Joonghyuk.
Yoo Joonghyuk who was right there, and he was all Kim Dokja ever wanted. All the years of repressed yearning came crashing down onto him as soon as Yoo Joonghyuk’s hands touched his face.
There was nowhere to hide. Nowhere to run to. Kim Dokja was tired of running.
He considered for a moment, before deciding that nothing mattered anymore, if Yoo Joonghyuk was there for him.
Teary eyed, he stared up at his soulmate before surging forward and crashing his lips against Yoo Joonghyuk’s in a fierce kiss. He felt one of Yoo Joonghyuk’s hands moving to the back of his neck while the other held his waist tightly, as if afraid Kim Dokja would change his mind. His own hands came up to entwine themselves around Yoo Joonghyuk’s neck, softly caressing the strands of black hair on the back of his head.
Their bodies were so incredibly attuned to each other that it made his eyes fill with fresh tears. He felt his entire being burn from the inside out, and he was running out of breath, but the last thing he wanted at that moment was to be an inch apart from Yoo Joonghyuk.
It took them a while until they finally untangled themselves from each other. Even then, they were still holding onto each other. Kim Dokja’s hand tucked carefully into Yoo Joonghyuk’s own as he was tugged out of the company building and into an expensive-looking black car.
■■
The car ride was quiet, and although Kim Dokja would have found that kind of silence stiffening at another time—or with any other person, the warmth he felt through their bond reassured him. It was okay. Yoo Joonghyuk didn’t hate him.
“What are you thinking about?” Yoo Joonghyuk’s deep voice broke the comfortable silence they had been immersed in once they reached his apartment. It occurred to Kim Dokja that maybe Yoo Joonghyuk hadn’t wanted to startle him until he was safely locked inside the apartment.
He couldn’t blame him, after all, Kim Dokja had been running from Yoo Joonghyuk for twenty something years. It was only natural that the man wanted to make sure he didn’t run off again. Even if Kim Dokja himself knew that he wouldn’t do it again.
Kim Dokja considered for a moment before answering, “It was nothing.” Was he that easy to read to Yoo Joonghyuk? Or maybe he was giving too much away through the bond.
As if sensing Kim Dokja’s conflicting thoughts, Yoo Joonghyuk walked towards the kitchen. “Come, I’ll cook something for you.”
Kim Dokja watched as Yoo Joonghyuk moved with ease around the kitchen, taking out ingredients and cooking with impressive ease. He didn’t know the man was a good cook, but then again, he didn’t know much about Yoo Joonghyuk, only the snippets of his life he could see during the streams. Yoo Joonghyuk was a private man, so it wasn’t like he got much from those either. He would be jealous of his skills if it weren’t for the fact that the man was cooking for him.
He almost wanted to laugh. If only he had known it would be so easy…no. It really wasn’t. While he understood Yoo Joonghyuk’s point, he still was glad he let Yoo Joonghyuk enjoy his life without the scandal he was involved in during his adolescence.
His train of thought was interrupted by Yoo Joonghyuk putting a plate of kimchi fried rice in front of him. It looked and smelled delicious. He didn’t know how he had landed a soulmate such as Yoo Joonghyuk. He truly was undeserving.
Even before meeting the man in person Yoo Joonghyuk already seemed like more than what Kim Dokja deserved. At times, he thought the universe was plotting something against him. A nasty joke where he found out Yoo Joonghyuk had a soulmate who wasn’t him. Someone who really deserved him.
“Kim Dokja.” He kept forgetting that now that they were physically close, Yoo Joonghyuk could probably tell his moods more accurately, the connection between them giving away his self-deprecating thoughts. “Eat.”
Big words for a man who wasn’t eating anything himself. He considered arguing with Yoo Joonghyuk, but decided against it after tasting the otherworldly food that Yoo Joonghyuk managed to prepare and focused on stuffing his face instead.
Yoo Joonghyuk’s satisfied face was infuriating, and a bit cute.
“Do you want anything else?” Yoo Joonghyuk watched him expectantly.
He swallowed the last bite of his meal before answering. “Thanks, but no. It was delicious though. Where did you learn to cook?”
Yoo Joonghyuk took his plate away to wash it before leading him to the couch and opening his mouth again. “I learned by myself.” He seemed to consider his dry answer before continuing. “My parents…they weren’t always present in my life. I had to learn to do a lot of things by myself.”
Was this…was Yoo Joonghyuk trying to open up to him? It was something awfully out of character for the Yoo Joonghyuk he knew. He appreciated the effort his favorite progamer was making. As far as he knew, Yoo Joonghyuk was closed off to an extreme.
It only proved that his fears were unfounded, Yoo Joonghyuk wasn’t only words. His actions matched what he said. He really wanted to pursue a relationship with Kim Dokja.
“I was…a lonely kid, too.”
Reciprocating the honesty that Yoo Joonghyuk showed him was probably the best thing he could do if he wanted their relationship to go forward. And he did want to. He was done making Yoo Joonghyuk wait.
The hours they spent talking went by quickly, and while it was awkward at times given the nature of both their personalities, they knew that it was a necessary step in their relationship. They had missed a lot of moments in each other’s life. They had to get to know each other in a personal level, rushing things wouldn’t be right. They had time. They weren’t hiding from each other anymore.
The sun had long since gone down by the time they noticed the hour. “You should stay the night.”
Kim Dokja stammered. “What?”
“I have a spare room that you can use. You can always leave early to get your clothes in the morning.”
He thought about it for a moment and decided that he wasn’t ready to part ways with his soulmate just yet, and nothing had to happen. They weren’t even going to sleep in the same room. “If it’s really okay with you, I’d like to stay.”
“Of course.” Yoo Joonghyuk gave him a devastating smile.
Devastating because it was the first smile he had ever seen on his face, and it was directed at Kim Dokja. Complete with dimples and warm eyes.
The room in which Yoo Joonghyuk let him stay had a big bed and its own bathroom. He laid there staring blankly at the ceiling after taking a warm shower and getting into the pajamas that Yoo Joonghyuk lent him. Although he had to take off the pants because they wouldn’t stop sliding down his hips. Yoo Joonghyuk’s entire body was too broad while his was too thin to keep the pants up. It was only okay because he was alone and the top of the pajamas was big enough to cover his upper thighs.
Distantly, he wondered about the future of his relationship with Yoo Joonghyuk before falling asleep. More relaxed and at ease than he had felt in years.
■■
It didn’t cease to amaze Kim Dokja. The fact that he and Yoo Joonghyuk had fallen into such an easy routine after that first talk they had.
The day after falling asleep on Yoo Joonghyuk’s spare room, he had woken up to the smell of breakfast being cooked for him. Yoo Joonghyuk had really gone out of his way to wake up before Kim Dokja left and cook something for him.
Before he left the apartment, they exchanged contact information and Yoo Joonghyuk texted him throughout the day and even asked him to eat dinner at his place again.
Kim Dokja would be lying if he said everything was as easy inside his mind. After all, the years of trauma and sadness didn’t get cured by just one person. Soulmate or not.
However, he could say that talking to Yoo Joonghyuk certainly improved his mood. Even the one coworker who he was friendly with seemed to notice.
“You look happier Dokja-ssi.” Yoo Sangah commented with a warm smile. “Something good happened?”
It was obvious she knew exactly what had happened. While he and Yoo Joonghyuk didn’t make a show out of finding each other, it was obvious something was up when they left the office holding hands.
“Yoo Sangah-ssi I think you know what happened and just want to get the details out of me.” He gave her a playful smile.
“What’s so wrong with confiding in a friend?”
“Nothing wrong with it. Although I’d like to let you keep guessing for a while longer. Just for the fun of it.”
What he meant was slightly more complicated, and Yoo Sangah being as perceptive as she was, probably already figured it out. He wanted to wait to be sure of where exactly he and Yoo Joonghyuk were going. It’d be better if he was sure of their relationship before mouthing off.
■■
What do you want to do tonight?
Read the text he got from Yoo Joonghyuk fifteen minutes before his shift ended.
They had been eating together, watching movies and just spending time together for a while. Most of their time was spent with each other. Which was normal for soulmates, what was abnormal was that they hadn’t started formally dating yet.
It was more or less a given at this point, but life had taught Kim Dokja not to take things for granted. Not that he doubted Yoo Joonghyuk, but that was his automatic response when something too good to be true happened.
He sent back a text telling Yoo Joonghyuk to come over to his place for a change. They could eat dinner there.
…
“Crap.” He stared at his fridge as if willing it to spawn more food out of thin air.
After mulling over his options for a moment, he decided he had just enough ingredients to make bibimbap. Well, his sunfish would have to settle for that.
He decided to start cooking in advance, after all, he wasn’t as good nor as quick when it came to cooking as Yoo Joonghyuk was. Keeping him waiting would only result in Yoo Joonghyuk nagging at him until the food was ready. For all his though façade Yoo Joonghyuk could be a real brat sometimes.
Yoo Joonghyuk arrived at his apartment when he was nearly finished with the food. Just as he already knew, Yoo Joonghyuk started being a brat immediately.
“That’s not how you’re supposed to cook that dish.”
“Would you like to do it yourself?” He snapped at him, although he could tell that there was no bite in his own tone.
“You know the answer to that.”
Kim Dokja ignored him. “Be good and wait over the couch until I’m done here, Joonghyuk-ah.”
That got him a hand on his throat, although at this point he already knew it was more that Yoo Joonghyuk just had a weird fixation with his neck than an actual threat to his personal safety.
“If you cook it like that it’ll stick to the pan and it’ll be useless.”
“Do you really trust me so little? I know what I’m doing.”
“I have seen you overheat boiled water.” Yoo Joonghyuk bit back. “Of course I think you’ll find a way to ruin this dish.” He knew Yoo Joonghyuk was itching to grab the pan from his hands and kick him out of his own kitchen, but surprisingly the man just flicked his forehead and retreated towards the living room.
“Hurry up, fool.”
Serving the food was certainly not as much of a challenge as Yoo Joonghyuk made it sound. Bastard. He just wanted to intimidate Kim Dokja with his cooking skills.
“Here.” He muttered as he set Yoo Joonghyuk’s plate in front of him, feeling a bout of smugness as the man silently stared at his plate.
“Is this good enough for your royal palate?” He teased.
Yoo Joonghyuk frowned at him. “Shut up and eat.”
Once they finished their food and the dishes were clean, they sat down to watch a movie. Yoo Joonghyuk insisted on being a bastard once more and refused to let Kim Dokja pick, so he was half paying attention to it and half being distracted by Yoo Joonghyuk’s hand drawing mindless patterns on his thighs.
It was always interesting seeing the contrasting sides of Yoo Joonghyuk. While it was true that he was on the quiet and serious type side, he was also petty and playful in his own way. He also had a tendency to want to maintain physical contact most of the time. Not necessarily in a sexual way, he was apparently just a touchy person when there was an emotional bond at play, much to his own displeasure. Kim Dokja liked to tease him by calling him clingy whenever he got the chance.
Although they had one time when they tried making out. That time, Kim Dokja ended up having an emotional breakdown and they stopped touching completely for a while.
It was probably for the best at the time, given that they were still in the beginnings of their relationship.
He side-eyed Yoo Joonghyuk. He wouldn’t mind trying again now that he was…slightly more sure of their relationship.
As if noticing his stare, Yoo Joonghyuk turned his head to look at him. It looked like he wanted to say something, but Kim Dokja beat him to it before he even had the opportunity to open his mouth by sitting closer and tilting his head up, hoping Yoo Joonghyuk got the hint and kissed him.
However, he forgot he was dealing with a grave idiot. “Are you cramping?” Were the words that left the sunfish’s mouth. He almost couldn’t believe it. Almost, because only Yoo Joonghyuk would be so dense.
“…”
He continued staring until Yoo Joonghyuk stopped paying attention to the movie entirely and focused his gaze on him.
“Do you want to take a walk? Maybe that would help with the cramps.”
Unbelievable. “I’m not cramping, bastard. Can you just take the hint?”
A look of absolute confusion crossed Yoo Joonghyuk’s eyes.
His resolve was quickly faltering. Maybe Yoo Joonghyuk was just playing the fool to avoid kissing him. Had it really been that bad the last time they—
His body was suddenly pulled forward until he collapsed on Yoo Joonghyuk’s chest. A large hand resting on his cheek. Then, a light pressure on his lips, as gentle as if Yoo Joonghyuk was trying to avoid scaring him off like a deer caught in headlights again.
He shily opened his mouth and felt Yoo Joonghyuk’s tongue pushing into his mouth. It felt sticky and warm.
For once, it didn’t feel oppressing or rushed. It felt like they were finally finding the right timing and pace. Meeting halfway.
■■
Kim Dokja found himself pressed down on Yoo Joonghyuk’s bed after a whole day of passive-aggressively berating each other for chickening out from getting into bed for months.
They had more or less made their relationship official after making out successfully for the first time during a movie at Kim Dokja’s house, although there hadn’t been any grand gesture to make it official from any of them. It suited them both better that way.
However, they had been in what could only be described as a mating ritual ever since. Too hesitant to take the next step even though both of them clearly wanted it.
Although the current turn of events had apparently been Yoo Joonghyuk’s last straw. Kim Dokja’s constant teasing finally made him snap and now he found himself staring up into the man’s eyes as Yoo Joonghyuk attempted to strip him bare.
He had to avert his eyes. He could admit that this time he was a little nervous. Even if this was Yoo Joonghyuk. He never thought that someone could want him in such a way. To accept the hunger in Yoo Joonghyuk’s eyes as something the man felt for him was a little too close to vulnerability.
Yoo Joonghyuk treated him gently. Firm hands held him steady. Kept him grounded on the moment as Yoo Joonghyuk mapped every inch of his body. In turn, he attempted to give the most open version of himself to Yoo Joonghyuk. The man had proved himself already countless times. It was time that Kim Dokja stopped trying to hide himself.
The bond between them sang as they poured their hearts into each other.
His eyes seemed to be unable to stop pouring out as Yoo Joonghyuk breached his most intimate place and filled the emptiness inside of him.
At last, they exhaustedly shared a tender kiss with the darkness of the night as the only witness.
■■
Hours later, Yoo Joonghyuk stared at Kim Dokja’s peaceful face as he slept. Finally all of his walls down. He was the only one to ever look at him like that. The only one who would ever know this Kim Dokja.
He held Kim Dokja’s hand in his and leaned down to kiss him again.
His star would forever shine brightly in his chest the same way he would make sure Kim Dokja felt his fire burn inside his heart for eternity, too.