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“She’s going to be that girl with two dads.”
Steve says it, apropos of nothing as he and Bucky stroll along the sidewalk, the only other sound around them the dry leaves under their shoes. With a deep and immediate frown, Bucky turns to Steve.
“What?” He asks, raising his eyebrows at his friend, really unsure of where that came from.
Well, not really. Steve’s mind must have still been with Sarah back at the school where they’d just dropped her off.
“You know, Buck.” Steve looked over at Bucky, a very...dour expression on his face. He’d been that way most of the morning though, worried and stoic until he’d had to say goodbye to Sarah at the school’s steps. Then he was bright, shiny Steve again, all smiles and his usual sweet self, for Sarah. Of course the week or so leading up to this had been a lot like today, a little tense but with a bit more arguing over whether or not to even send her to school yet. Hell, it was only preschool, in Bucky’s eyes anyway, and this place they’d picked, Broomfield Conservatory, was as private as private schools get.
“Don’t do that Steve, c’mon, just tell me. I know you’re...panicking, or whatever it is you’re doing, but it’s going to be okay.” Bucky reached out and slapped Steve’s arm playfully, trying to lighten the mood a little.
“Yeah, I mean. I know it is, for now. But what about when she grows up, and kids start to realize her family is a little. Different, and you know there are kids who’ll pester her about it. You know there are, maybe us better than most.” True enough, they had been, well, at least Steve had, been at the mercy of cruel children when they were kids. Times may have changed, but things like that don’t.
Bucky bit his lip, and was silent for a while. He hadn’t thought on that much, because he felt like it was a non-issue. What problem could anyone have with their family?
“And what about it? We’re just going to have to tell her...that all people don’t...don’t agree with us. That kids are mean sometimes. And that she can’t let it get to her, or I’ll have to rearrange some little kid’s face. But really, I don’t see it happening...” He reaches out for Steve again, pulls his hand from his pocket and grabs it, giving it a squeeze with his bionic hand, “Hell, it’s New York Steve. They’re lettin’ us get married now. Er. If we had. Planned on it. Or wanted to.” They’d never really discussed that, so Bucky clears his throat awkwardly, and looks at the houses to their right.
“Of course I’ll talk to her, when it’s time anyway.....” For a while, he’s quiet, because he knows Bucky is right, he’s just being a father worried for his daughter. His fingers move till their laced with Bucky’s, and he sighs, “You’re not beating up kids for her, no matter what some kid says to her. Take it up with the parents.” It’s like he’s already got a plan, and the marriage comment slips for now.
“I can see you showing up in your Cap uniform. ‘Mrs. Johnston, I’d like to have a word with you about Timmy.’” Bucky puts on his best Steve-being-Cap voice, and grins, “Bet that kid’d piss himself.” Steve lets himself laugh at the absurdity of it, and shrugs, glancing over at Bucky.
“If I could, Bucky, I’d do it.” He says wistfully, bringing up the fact that they’ve got to be careful now, about what they tell Sarah about Steve.
“I know you would. You woulda gone in and sat in the corner of the classroom if I didn’t drag you back.” Bucky teases, smiling over at the blond fondly. He had absolutely no doubt Steve would have done that, or just sat outside all day, just to make sure Sarah was alright. If anyone was a better father, Bucky couldn’t imagine it. You don’t get much better than Captain America.
“Right again,” Steve chuckles as they come to a stop at the corner, waiting for the okay to cross, “Maybe not in the corner, but at least outside the door.” Bucky lets go of his hand and leans into his side, grinning still. For a long time, the brunette is silent, staring at the dirty pavement under their feet, and then he turns his face against Steve’s shirt, inhaling his scent a little.
“Really, Steve, it’ll be all right. I’m just as worried as you are, but she’s still little. And man, look who her parents are. She’s going to have so much fight, I’d doubt she’d just stand by and let someone tell her what’s wrong or right. And she’ll know how to throw a punch in a year or so,” Bucky smiles up at Steve again, at which the blond narrows his eyes.
“Bucky, you’re n-”
“Steve, Sarah’s going to have to learn to defend herself one day, especially with the life we have. You know I’m right.” He tries to sound stern, but fails a little, and they get the signal to walk.
“She’s four Bucky.” Steve frowns, letting go of Bucky as they make their way across the street.
“Okay, so we’ll wait a few years! I’m just trying to convince you some how, that she’s definitely not going to be pushed around. She’s already a strong kid, babe. There’s a lot of shit to worry about, but we’ll get around it. I know you’re worried about more than just kids though.” There would most definitely be other people taking notice of Sarah, should they find out just who was behind Cap’s cowl, and who his family was.
“Yeah,” is all Steve says, jaw tight. Bucky keeps his arm around the supersoldier’s back as they walk, and fights for something to say. Normally, it’s the other way around, and Steve would be trying to convince Bucky something was alright, but things had changed.
“We can only do as much as we can,” It didn’t make much sense out loud, but it did in his head, “We can’t...can’t protect her all the time, y’know, no matter how bad I want to, jesus it kills me that we can’t. Especially after that’s all I did with you.” He gives a tight chuckle, squeezing himself to Steve, and looks at the pavement under their feet again.
“I know that, Bucky. I know all of it, I do. I just have that irrational need to....just....You know what I’m trying to say, don’t you?” The irrational need to protect, no matter what. Yeah, Bucky knew that feeling well.
“Yeah. It’s alright Steve, I think that comes with the job description of Dad.” That, at very least, makes Steve chuckle, and that’s enough for Bucky.
They walk in silence for a while, each with an arm around the other, until they’re nearly home. Bucky thinks Steve picked Broomfield because it’s so damn close, and to be quite honest, he doesn’t mind either.
“So, Steve, we have the whooooole rest of the morning to waste,” A sly smile stretches over Bucky’s face as he looks at his partner, a little excited they had a few hours to kill, “Think we should spend it in bed, y’know. Mid-morning sex and all.” Steve smiles too, and lifts his arm from around Bucky’s shoulders to dig his keys out from his pocket. He’s actually really glad to have a few hours alone with Bucky, because they’ve been busy for a hell of a long time, and they don’t really--it sounds cliché--get that much time alone, between Sarah and The Avengers, so staying in bed quite honestly sounds like the best idea Bucky’s ever had.
“Good idea. We have to be back at one.” Steve says, making his way up the steps to their building’s door.
“Got it. One it is.”
Four and a half hours later they fall out of bed, rather reluctantly, and pull on some clothes. Bucky doesn’t bother fixing his hair, which is mussed and sticking up in places from Steve’s hands, and other than pulling on a sweatshirt and a pair of shorts, he can’t be bothered to get much more ready than that. He’s tired and gripes about it the whole way there, but when they actually get to Broomfield Conservatory, he shuts up and gets a little anxious. The school is pre-K through about fifth grade, and so quite a few kids come pouring out the double doors at one o’clock, and both Steve and Bucky’s eyes dart around for Sarah’s familiar brown head. It takes a little while, but when the little crowd of children thins out, Sarah appears at the top of the stairs. Steve waves and smiles, Bucky doing the same at his side. When she starts running down the stairs, Steve steps forward immediately to meet her, kneeling down and she all but jumps into his arms because Bucky swears he sees her feet leave the concrete for a moment.
“Hey,” Steve murmurs, for he can tell she’s not happy. He holds her tight for a little while, hand rubbing soothingly over her back until she pulls away of her own volition, “How was it?” He asks quietly, their faces close as he sets her back on her feet on the first step. Bucky stands behind them silently, watching them both. Sarah looks up at him, then back to Steve.
“Fine,” She peeps, voice tiny, and quiet, “I wanna go home.”
“Yeah, okay,” Steve says softly, settling his hand against the side of her head, thumb brushing over her cheek. His hands are huge in comparison to her size. For a few more brief moments both he and Bucky look at her, and then Steve sweeps her up in his arms, and they’re off again.
“Hey bubba,” Bucky says when he falls into step with Steve, and reaches out to tickle Sarah’s arm, “Wasn’t so bad was it? What’d you guys do?” The girl purses her little lips, and looks at Steve warily for a few moments.
“We took a nap. And at snack time, the boy next to me had...he had um....” She holds up a hand and wiggles her five fingers, thinking for a few seconds, “Chips, and I put them on my fingers, and they looked like witch nails.” Bucky raises his eyebrows and nods, before he smiles at her.
“Did you make a friend, then?” He asks next, and Sarah shrugs.
“I guess.” She’s shy most of the time, so that ambiguous answer is unsurprising.
“Well that’s good. What sounds good for lunch?” Steve cuts in then, and Bucky pushes up his sunglasses.
Over lunch, Sarah and Bucky argue about school; she doesn’t like it and doesn’t want to go back, while Bucky attempts to explain that it’s more fun than hanging around the apartment all day (which is not true) or having to sit through S.H.I.E.L.D. meetings, or doing things with Darcy in her little corner of Stark Tower.
Steve watches fondly, and silently, letting Bucky handle this one as he sits back and eats his sandwich. Eventually Sarah gives up in favor of her lunch, and Bucky just smiles at her. She’s a lot like him already, which is...not scary, but Bucky’s stubbornness is like a force of nature, theres just no getting around it. Steve can’t see himself in her, but he supposes Bucky is probably that way too. More than that, he sees that she’s straightforward like him too, in the way only a child can be. Or perhaps it’s her age, and Steve’s overanalyzing things.
After lunch, they go to the park, sit in the grass like they do sometimes because it’s a beautiful day. Bucky naps with his head in Steve’s lap, while Sarah runs circles around them with her arms outstretched, like an airplane, she says.
It’s as perfect a day as Steve’s ever had, and though he hopes for more like this, he doesn’t dare take it for granted.