Chapter Text
Adrenaline coursed through his veins. This was the best feeling in the world. Wind whipped his hair back as he flew at top speed towards the small, winged golden sphere in his sight. Hand outstretched ready to grab it and at the last second gone. Snatched by the Slytherin seeker Regulus Black. He hovered above the quidditch pitch and held the snitch above his head in victory. The Slytherins cheered loudly. The game was over. James stared at Regulus, angry. He was so close and just like that gone. He landed with the rest of the Gryffindor quidditch team and walked off the pitch. James became angry at Regulus. James usually played chaser, and today he was playing seeker to fill in for Lily who had to leave for unknown reasons. He was going to be great at it and Regulus made him look like a fool.
James stormed into his dorm that he shared with Sirius, Remus and Peter, and made a beeline for the bathroom. He got undressed from his dirty quidditch robes and hopped in the shower. While the shower burned his skin with the hot water James thought. He wanted to get back at the Slytherins, but all he could think about was his anger. He had been made a fool in front of the entire school. James liked jokes and was foolish often, but this was different. He had never felt embarrassed when he made jokes. This was a first of many for James Fleamont Potter.
Now dressed in some jeans and a navy long-sleeve he strode down to the library. James was rarely in here, but he wanted to be somewhere quiet to be with his thoughts. Unfortunately, Remus Lupin was there as he was most often. James went and sat at a table with him not wanting to seem off.
“Hell of a game,” Remus said. He didn’t know much about quidditch, but he knew this match was important to James.
“Yes. It sure was.” James replied, trying to sound happy. He was calmer now. Calm enough to hold a proper conversation. Moony always seemed to help him relax.
“James?” Remus asked, trying to get his attention.
“Ya Moony?” James replied, being torn from his thoughts.
“Are you okay mate? You seem to have drifted off there for a second.” Remus looked concerned when he said this.
“Ya just tired from the quidditch match and all,” James said while standing up to leave. He faked a yawn and said, “I’m going to go back to the dorm. Maybe take a nap.”
“See you tonight?” Remus wondered, looking slightly concerned.
Shit, tonight’s a full moon James thought. “Ya, see you tonight Remus.”
James always felt bad for Remus near the full moons. He was more on edge, tired and though he would never admit it in pain. James always tried to encourage him to take it easy near the moons, but it never did work. Classic Moony. Nothing could tear him away from work. It must’ve been hard for Remus to go to the game today, James thought. All that sound and noise would’ve been a lot, especially near the moon.
James was laying on his bed in the empty dorm room. His stomach growled. He hadn’t eaten since the quidditch match. James did not feel like going down to the feast tonight though. James got up, grabbing the invisibility cloak from under his pillow and the marauders map from Sirius’s beside table.
He went through the halls. Making sure to avoid as many people as possible. He made it down to the kitchen and got some sandwiches to bring back to the dorm.
Back up at the dorm after he had eaten he waited for the rest of the marauders to come back from dinner. He sat. Alone with his thoughts for what felt like the hundredth time that day. This time wondering how Regulus Black even got the snitch away from him. He was so close. His hands basically grasping the snitch just before he got it. His thoughts were interrupted by Sirius and Peter entering the dorm. James looked up and smiled as he met their gaze.
“Hey, Jamie.” Sirius smiled. “Where have you been all day? Haven’t seen you since the match.”
“I was in the library with Remus earlier today. Which reminds me we need to go down to the shack soon.”
They had been accompanying Remus on full moons for only a few months. They had become animagi at the start of the year. Remus was hesitant at first, but he did appreciate the company. It was the Thursday before the Christmas break as well so Remus would be happy he’d only miss his classes tomorrow seeing as they probably would not be doing much anyway.
All the marauders got under the cloak. Peter as a rat to take up less space. They took the map so they knew where to avoid Pomfrey, Filch, and Ms. Norris. One time Peter almost knocked into Pomfrey while they were making it down a corridor on their way to the shack. He was lucky Sirius and James saw her and pulled him away from her at the last second and it was even luckier that Poppy didn’t hear them.
Once inside the Shrieking Shack, the marauders took off the invisibility cloak and folded the map into it so they could be stored without being found or getting harmed. They walked to the top floor of the shack and opened the door. Remus was sitting on the dirty mattress that was on the floor. He was obviously uncomfortable as the moon approached. His hands were clutching the edge of the mattress so hard his knuckles were white. His head snapped up as they entered.
“How close is it yet?” Sirius asked tentatively, going to sit beside Remus.
“Not long,” Remus responded. Then James saw all the muscles in his body tense in preparation for the change. “Change!” Remus said. He laid back on the mattress. His body curled tightly in on himself as his body fought the change coming upon him. The scream was always the worst part for James. At least when he was a stag his thoughts were simpler. He wasn’t sure he could bear it otherwise.
James, Sirius, and Peter helped Remus back up into the shack after another night. Remus was always extremely weak after moons. They drained him.
They all got under the cloak in preparation to leave and go back to the castle. Remus waved tiredly at them as they disappeared behind the cloak.
Back up at the castle all three of them flopped onto their beds and slept until lunch. After lunch, they went to visit Remus in the infirmary. Madam Pomfrey knew that they knew about Remus’s little werewolf problem so she always let them see him after moons. As they walked through the hospital wing they went to the bed Remus was always at. He was always in the back left corner, curtains closed.
Remus was sitting up in bed waiting for them. As they entered Remus smiled.
“How was Moony last night?” Remus asked.
“Brilliant,” Sirius replied, smiling. “Moony went crazy after some rabbits, but other than that just your average Moony.”
“You almost caught one of the rabbits,” Peter said. “But I guess Moony got unlucky this time.”
“Makes sense why I’m so hungry then,” Remus said smiling. They all burst into laughter at that.
“Here you go Remus,” Peter said, pulling chocolate frogs out of his pocket and putting them on Remus’s bed tray.
“Thanks, Pete,” Remus said already opening a chocolate frog.
“What’s this?” asked James gesturing to books, parchment, and a quill sitting on Remus’s beside.
“Homework,” said Remus as if that was completely normal because it was completely normal for Remus Lupin to do homework at all hours.
“Rest Remus,” James said. “You deserve to rest after the moons.”
“Fine mum I solemnly swear I, Remus John Lupin will not do homework for an hour,” Remus responded placing one hand over his heart and the other up at his side as if making a pledge. James rolled his eyes as they all burst into laughter. The rest of the marauders had taken to calling him ‘mum’ whenever he fussed over any of them.
It was the last day of school before Christmas break and James intended no matter how cold or rainy over the Christmas break that he would practice quidditch as often as possible so he did not make a fool of himself like he did at the last quidditch match. He had stolen a golden snitch to practice with while at home in case Lily wasn’t back after the break.
Peter was coming to the Potter’s house this year for Christmas. Remus’s mum, Hope wanted him home for Christmas that year and Sirius had to go home for Christmas for whatever reason. It was odd because for the last four years they had been at school Sirius almost always came to the Potter’s for Christmas.
When James walked into Potter Manor the smell of cinnamon, sugar, and baking enveloped him. Yep, he was home all right. Euphemia Potter greeted the boys at the door. She was followed by Mitsy. Their house elf. She took their bags up to their respective rooms.
James wandered into the kitchen to smell what his mother was baking. She had baked cinnamon buns with a glaze on top. He grabbed one before his mum could stop him and went into the living room where Peter was setting up a game of wizards chess as it seemed. As he ate, the taste reminded him of when he was younger, always baking with his mother in the kitchen and all the different things they would make, cookies, brownies, and pastries of all kinds.
Christmas day was great. James and Peter were stuffed with the feast his mother had made along with all the sweets. Warm and tired everyone made their way to bed. Everyone except James who had fallen asleep on the couch a couple of hours earlier. His head was tilted back, mouth slightly open, arms rested on his stomach.
The house was silent. Until it wasn’t. James had woken up on the couch and was just about to head up to bed when he heard a soft banging on the door. He drew his wand even though it was illegal to do magic outside of school and opened it to see Sirius Black. He was hurt, James realized. Badly. He was holding a broom in one hand, leaning on it for support. James slipped an arm over his shoulders and led him inside without a word. He was dressed in nice dress robes presumably from a Christmas party. Though now they were ripped, dirty and even bloodstained in a few places. As James was leading Sirius to the couch he noticed how tense he was.
“Hey, Jamie. I’m sorry.” Sirius said.
“For what?”
“Tracked mud in on your carpet.” He said, smirking and relaxing a bit.
They both sat on the couch. “What happened?” James inquired.
He tensed up again. “My parents,” was all Sirius said.
James could see a bruise forming around his eye. “I’m going to get mum. Is that okay?”
Sirius only nodded slightly. As James ran up the stairs he was met by his mum coming down the stairs.
“What happened?” His mother asked.
“It’s Sirius.”
Back in the living room Sirius barely raised his head to see Euphemia walk into the room. Effie quickly rushed to the boy.
“James, go get Sirius something else to wear. He will be sleeping with you tonight, ok?” Reluctantly James went to his room and grabbed some pyjamas for Sirius to borrow and laid them on his bed. He didn’t want to leave Sirius. Ever. Again. He hurried back downstairs. His mother had healed him to the best of her abilities, but Sirius still was going to have other wounds. Some magically inflicted and others mentally.
Sirius’s head was resting on the back of the couch, eyes closed.
James stepped towards Sirius. “Ready to head upstairs?”
“Mm,” Sirius responded, which James took to mean yes.
Looping his arm around his shoulders again he led Sirius up to his bedroom. As he lifted him off the couch he could tell Sirius was trying not to wince at the pain that coursed through his body.
James and Sirius had seen each other change plenty of times seeing as they shared a dorm room for about five years, but as he changed into his pyjamas James had to avert his gaze elsewhere to stop from staring at the bandages now riddling his body. Sirius crawled into James' bed and James lay next to him staring at the ceiling all night.
James vowed he would never let another person hurt Sirius again. If anyone from Slytherin even breathed wrong in his direction they would be hearing from James. James knew that seemed over the top, but he was not going to ever see Sirius hurt like this again. Not if he could do anything about it.
The rest of their break was as normal as one could be after the events that had happened. Peter was informed the next morning what had happened and everyone acted accordingly. Sirius was moved into a room that was adjacent to James. All seemed good. Seemed.
Almost every night Sirius ended up sleeping with James. James never questioned why, but he was pretty sure Sirius was scared to be alone after all that happened. James didn’t blame him. He would occasionally come to his room and they would talk. Sirius told him more of what had happened.
“They didn’t just torture me with curses, James,” Sirius spoke softly. His usually neat hair was messy and covered his face slightly as he played with his hands. “They threw things. Levitated vases and other items and threw them across the room at me. I couldn’t– I couldn’t even feel it by that point…next thing I knew I was here.” He chuckled softly to himself.
Sirius then without a word crawled under James' covers to sleep. James laid down next to Sirius and wrapped his arms around him. Sirius’s breathing was jerky as he cried. Sirius didn’t sleep much. When he did he would have nightmares and James would comfort him. James didn’t sleep much either these days. He needed to be there. For Sirius.
James and Sirius boarded the train together after the New Year. Peter’s mother wanted him home for New Year so it was just the two boys.
They made their way to their usual compartment where Remus was waiting. Reading, of course. Remus put his book down as they entered.
“How was your break?”
“Fine.” replied James “Yours?”
“The usual.” Remus groaned. “Mum was fussing over me again and Dad was too busy to come home. Ministry work apparently.” Remus said making air quotes around ‘too busy.’ “You okay?” He asked, looking at Sirius.
“Yep. Fine.” Sirius said quietly. He didn’t have bandages all across his body anymore, but he still wasn’t acting as he normally was.
A few minutes later Peter came into their compartment nearly missing the train. He was out of breath from running to make sure he got there on time.
“You alright Pete?” James asked, laughing with the others.
Peter sat down beside Remus on the other side of the compartment as the train left the station.
“I have to go,” Remus said standing up. “Prefect meeting.”
After Remus left James and Sirius started talking about upcoming quidditch matches while Peter had fallen asleep.
A few hours had gone by. Remus was back in the compartment reading. Occasionally getting up to patrol the train. One of the times he left to patrol someone strode by their compartment, stopping outside. The person opened the door to reveal it was Barty Crouch. Barty was a year younger than them and often he hung out with Regulus Black. Sirius’s brother.
“Well, well if it isn’t Sirius Black and his band of muggle lovers.”
“Shut up Crouch,” Sirius said glaring at the younger boy.
“I wouldn’t be so rude Black. Heard you got disowned. You don’t have anyone protecting you now.”
“He said shut up,” James said, standing wand drawn. He was taller than the boy and tried using his height on him to seem intimidating.
“Ooooh, Black I see you’ve got a protector.”
Sirius came and stood next to James wand also drawn. Barty stepped back into the hallway a bit further. “Not so bold now eh?”
Barty drew his wand. His mouth started forming the words to a curse when a familiar voice shouted “Expelliarmus!”
Barty’s wand flew from his hand over to Remus who seemed to be coming back to their compartment after his patrol. Barty stood fists balled at his sides as Remus strode to meet them Peter got up drawing his wand as well. All four of their wands were pointed at Barty. Barty put out his hand as if asking for his wand back. Remus gave it to him.
Barty started walking away when he threw over his shoulder to the rest of them, “As if Black getting disowned wasn’t entirely his own doing.”
James knew Barty was trying to make him mad and it was working. Oh, it was working. Before James knew it he had punched Barty square in the jaw. He fell to the ground clutching his face where he had just been hit.
“James!” The other marauders shouted.
“Don’t you dare talk about Sirius! Ever!” James was infuriated. He couldn’t see, couldn’t think. Before he knew it Remus had pushed him back into the compartment.
“What the fuck James!” Remus shouted.
“He was asking for it,” James replied, still angry at them.
“You want to give his lot a reason to target us all year?” Remus said very obviously annoyed.
“No…” James replied. Peter was wringing his hand obviously quite anxious on the other side of their compartment. James moved his eyes over to Sirius who had not said anything. He was sitting very stiffly and he looked rather pale. “Sorry guys…”
They had finally arrived at Hogwarts. Everyone was fine again as they walked up to their dorms after the feast. James and Sirius were stopped in the common room by Marlene.
“Frank has us practicing tomorrow morning,” Marlene whined.
“Already?” replied Sirius, “We’ve barely gotten back to school.”
“I know. He said something about how training right away will give us the upper hand against the other teams, but I just think it will make me more tired.”
“Uh, Marls? Is Lil-”
“Yes, she’s here. Up in the room. You can propose to her later if you like.” She said, smirking.
“That’s a shame had a whole song ready and everything,” James replied, smiling. “Anyways, she’s going to be playing seeker again I suppose ya?”
“Dunno Jamie she- A lot of things have happened to her since she left. Quidditch may be another thing on her mind that she doesn’t need right now.”
“Oh… okay then. I’m going to go up to the dorm. See you tomorrow Marls.”
“See you.”
That morning’s practice was literal hell. James had to drag a not very compliant Sirius out of bed and on top of that it had rained the whole practice. At least Lily was back, thank the heavens, but Frank was brutal. Once his feet landed back on the ground after the practice James was actually glad for the first time that he wasn’t flying at that moment. Their next match was against Hufflepuff. James wasn't really worried about facing them. They hadn’t won the cup in years. James was more worried about Lily seeing as she hadn’t played in a while and the entire team relied on her in a way.
“Hey Lily?” James asked.
“What James? I need to go shower before classes.” She replied rather sharply.
James, taken aback and flustered, said, “Uh… nothing. Bye”
Lily looked at him rather confused about what he was going to say. James wanted to say that he was sorry for whatever happened to her and she didn’t have to feel the need to play for the rest of the season if something had happened.
“Oi, Prongs!” shouted Sirius.
James jogged away from Lily over to Sirius as they walked to the showers together.
“Alright Padfoot?”
“What were you and Evans talking about over there?”
“Oh, nothing. Anyways we better get going or we’re going to be late for Transfig and you know Minnie will give us hell if we’re late.”
“Oh shit!” said Sirius in a sudden hurry.
They managed to get to Transfiguration just in the nick of time. They found Peter and Remus who had already gotten spots next to each other and sat in the desk in front of them. The class itself was not bad, but all James could think about was Lily. What had happened to her that was bad enough to make her leave school for about a month?
At lunch everyone in the Great Hall was whispering to their friends. The marauders all sat next to some of the girls in their year. Marlene McKinnon, Mary Macdonald, and Lily Evans.
James leaned over towards Marlene who was sitting to his left and whispered, “What is everyone talking about? What happened?”
“Haven’t you read the profit mate?” said Remus with his annoyingly good hearing. “There was an attack. Seven muggles killed and many others injured.”
At that moment Lily stood up abruptly and walked out of the hall. Marlene and Mary apologized for leaving and got up to follow Lily out of the hall.
“What’s wrong with her?” Peter asked.
“Dunno,” James said, shrugging. The others agreed with James except James was pretty sure what had happened. Someone close to Lily back home was one of the muggles killed.
James and Sirius had a spare after lunch. Sirius went up to the dorm to nap because of the quidditch practice they had had that morning. James on the other hand wanted to start planning the marauders next prank. As the record player near him played Queen he was struck with an idea. What if all the marauders could enchant the portraits to sing early in the morning without stop. James got up to wander around the castle to decide all the best places in the castle to enchant the paintings. James was thinking what areas they needed to prioritize first when he saw a redheaded girl sitting on a bench near one of the windows in the courtyard. James slowly walked up to her.
“What do you want, James?” Lily asked, wiping her eyes. She wasn’t facing him.
“Nothing, I was just wandering the halls and I saw you.”
“I’m not in the mood for games so just piss off will you?” She snapped.
“I’m not playing games,” James said softly now sitting down next to her on the bench.
She raised her eyes to meet his. They were red, puffy, and watery from crying. Her beautiful emerald green eyes staring at him. James always loved her eyes. They made her seem enchanted, ethereal.
“Well the last month has been shitty so sorry for snapping at you. You don’t deserve that.”
“Do you want to talk about it? I hear I have a great shoulder to cry on,” he said smirking.
Lily laughed a bit, “My mother was one of the muggles killed. I-I didn’t. I didn’t even know until a week later and of course my sister and father both blamed me for it. For being a witch.”
“Shit I’m sorry,” James said. Lily leaned to place her head on his shoulder. “Y’know you don’t have to do quidditch this season if you don’t want to. If it adds on to another thing onto your plate.”
“James Potter, are you trying to take my position from me?” She said smiling.
“No me? Playing seeker? Never.”
“Good cause I’m better at it than you.” There was an awkward pause for a bit. “Y’know you’re not as much of an asshole as I thought you were. You’re ok.”
“Just okay?”
“For now. This is our first interaction where you haven’t tried to propose to me.”
James suddenly felt a bit more awkward, “Well you better not tell anyone about this I’ve got a reputation to uphold.”
“No, no I won't, your reputation is super important… Well I’m going to have to head to class soon so…”
“Wait, we have Defense Against the Dark Arts together. Let’s walk there together.”
“Okay fine let’s go, but you better not propose to me as soon as we walk into the classroom.”
“I swear I won’t.”
James entered the classroom with Lily and went over to sit beside Remus whom he shared a desk with. He was staring at James as he walked in.
“Lily Evans. Lily Evans is talking to you? She hates you.” Remus said, shocked.
“Apparently not. My killer good looks finally won her over.”
Sirius and Peter turned around to face James.
“Mate you sure that’s Lily. She would’ve hexed the living daylights out of you if you talked to her.” Sirius said, also shocked.
As the other marauders kept talking about Lily, that finally sunk in. Lily Evans had talked to James and had said he was okay. She didn’t hate him. The rest of the lesson Lily Evans was on his mind. She seemed to be on his mind all day that day. Lily Evans talked to James and didn’t try to hex him. That’s a first.