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A world built upon the hopes and dreams of everyone in it. A world built on the facades of everyone just trying to protect their own feelings. It truly does make me wonder...what has the world come to? I feel so alone at night but I don't wish for anyone, besides me. It sometimes feels like there are weights on my chest, trying to breathe underwater. It's scary and frustrating, yet there is a slight part of you that does wish for it to all simply stop.
I've always been a happy child, at least I think so. When I feel frustrated with my parents I like to tell myself that they only want the best for me, for my future. It's more like I'm constantly persuading myself into believing that. Over time I've made friends for myself, one of my closest ones being Chenle. Chenle is weird. That's really the only way I can describe him! I met him back in I think...1st grade. (Back when he used to be taller than me) I was sitting on the bench, with my feet crossed, and drink in my hand. Then all of a sudden, he popped out of nowhere! LIKE LITERALLY NOWHERE!
Chenle: What you doingggg?
Jisung: GAhagaHH-
Jisung: What the-
Chenle: Whoops my bad, did I startle you?
Jisung: Um...no, not really. You know, I was just minding my business before you you jumped out of nowhere!
Chenle: It surprised you didn't it. That's what I was going for duh *eye roll* It isn't called a jump scare for no reason.
Jisung: Thank you for that, but I prefer not to die from a heart attack at such a young age
Chenle: PFFFF HAHahaHaah!!! HEarT AttaCk?!?! YOURE JUST WEAK
Jisung: (What is wrong with this kid)
Jisung: Excuse me?! I am not
Chenle: Sureeee said someone who was about to die from a "heart attack" because of a jump scare
Jisung: Oh you are sooooo done (tags him on the shoulder)
Chenle: Oh so you wanna play tag now!!! (godspeed runs to Jisung)
Chenle: AND BEFORE YOU TRY TO GET ME BACK THE NAMES CHENLE!
He's incredibly smart, they always called him someone too good to be true. But with all honesty, he's just loud! And he screams like a dolphin, sometimes it feels like my ears are about to burst because of him. Truly, I feel bad for him though. Don't get me wrong and all! It's just, doesn't it seem like having all those people look up to you, you know seem a little bit stressful. Even though he makes jokes all the time and he's also really loud, people find him so easy to talk to. I don't get it, really. How can he have such a good relationship with his parents? Why does he try so hard in everything? Why does everything seem so easy to him? I tend to get mad at myself too because I know it isn't his fault. It's like I'm always comparing myself yet never even try to put in the effort to change anything! He's so cool and it makes me a bit jealous that I'm not like him. As much as I dislike how perfect he is in everything, I still find myself wondering if he'll miss me even in my last moments. The fault all lies on me. I just kind of wished I could live life like before without having to worry about if I'm good enough. There were many good things in my life including Chenle. I hope he doesn't blame himself because of me, but him being in my life kept me here long enough to make good memories before I left. Maybe in the next life, I'll be the first one to jump scare him, the first to make friends with him, the first to change his perspective of life, just like he did to mine.