Archive of Our Own

1.

Everything just felt better in spring. Not that Barney was going to say that to anyone. As far as his friends and blog-readers were concerned, he was completely awesome, 24/7. But now the sun was shining and the weather was warmer and when he walked into MacClaren's, Robin smiled at him.

"You going to tell her?" Lily asked, when they were left alone at the table for a couple of minutes.

"Tell who what?"

"Barney! You've been staring at Robin all night."

"I was just . . . admiring her fashion choices."

"Fine," Lily said. "Don't tell her. See if I care!"

And then Robin slid back into the booth next to him and her leg touched his and maybe he'd tell her.

But not tonight.

2.

Barney and Marshall walked out of work together one night, and Marshall stopped by a vendor to buy flowers for Lily. And, for just a second, Barney thought about buying some for Robin.

It worked for Ted, right? Ted was always doing lame stuff like that, and it worked for him. Ted bought Robin flowers and they had . . . Barney shook his head. Stupid Canadian was messing with his head.

Barney Stinson didn't buy women flowers.

3.

Barney had been at the hospital for hours and he was pretty sure he'd never feel his ear again. The nurse at the desk kept saying he wasn't an emergency, but his hair was pink, okay? If nothing else, that should prove he needed immediate attention.

And Robin said she had something to do and left him alone with Ted, who kept going on about how the architecture of the hospital could be improved. Forget waterboarding, this was true torture.

Then Robin walked back in. In her hands, she held Barney's most precious possession. She cradled his finest suit in her hands, and Barney was positive he'd never seen such a beautiful sight.

"Scherbatsky! How did you--where did you?" He took the suit and hugged in to his chest.

"I told the apartment manager you slept with me and never called me back, and I wanted revenge."

Ted chuckled. "Nice."

Barney stroke his suit reverently, and then looked up at Robin. "Thank you," he said.

Robin smiled and sat back down.

He was pretty sure she was the most perfect woman ever.

4.

"You know," Marshall said, as he looked at Barney's list. "200 women and only one stands out."

"Madeleine Albright? I told you that story, right? One night, I was--"

"Yes, you told me, and I still don't believe you."

"The Real World chick?" Barney asked. "Because you saw her season--she's hot!"

"Barney! You know who I'm talking about."

Barney shrugged. "It's just a name on the list."

"200 women is more than enough, Barney. Why not narrow it down to just one?"

Barney grabbed the list back. "Maybe I'll shoot for 300."

But that sounded like too many, even to him.

5.

"You don't want her, anyway," Marshall said. "Anyone who picks some guy named Tony over you isn't worth it."

"Yeah," Lily said, and snuggled next to Marshall. "You want someone who wants you as much as you want them."

Barney didn't mean to, but he glanced at Robin. And she looked back.

And he wondered.