Work Text:
It was supposed to be a celebration of the village existing for 2 years and a way to strengthen the unity of the Senju Clan and the Uchiha Clan. A public marriage ceremony between Izuna and Touka, who were both well-liked and respected in the village, and had been seeing each other for almost a year, making them the ideal candidates for the endeavor. Until the elders got involved.
Both sides almost immediately outdoing themselves with the ridiculous conditions they set for the future spouse of a main branch family member.
However, the Senju council had to admit defeat soon enough, when Mito pointed out that these terms had not been condition when she married Hashirama and were therefore not enforceable.
But since the Uchiha clan had typically no arranged marriages, there were no precedents set that could force their side to relent.
According to the council, a arranged spouse to an Uchiha heir had to be both of an equal standing and power level, had to add valuable skills the clan doesn’t already possess, had to have a non-directly related Uchiha family vouch for them and saving the most outrages term for last, they had to be …“untouched”.
With every term they stated, smug smile in place, Tobirama could feel his temper rising. It was clear the Clan elders were insulting Touka, almost stating outright that they thought she was not good enough to marry into their clan, the main family no less, with conditions that were specifically set against her.
Madara and Izuna, in typical Uchiha fashion, did nothing to keep their emotions secret and wore twin scowls that made it even more obvious that they were brothers.
Maybe he had grown soft in two years of peace but in that moment Tobirama did what he usually admonished his brother for, he spoke before he thought, “Very well, in acceptance with your terms, I will marry into the Uchiha Clan.”
A pause.
“Im afraid I don’t understand what you are saying, Senju-Sama.”
“Well, I am the only person in the village that fulfills all your conditions. So it seems you want me to marry into your clan.”
The panic and barely contained outrage on the senior’s faces was worth outing his (non-existing) sexual history to a room full of people.
Tobirama knew how much the Uchiha clan elders hated him and hopefully threatening them with him as an alternative would make them see sense.
“I wasn’t aware you were willing to marry Izuna”, sneered Yoshio Uchiha.
Tobirama wasn’t really, he got along with his former rival well enough now but he had no desire to marry his cousins boyfriend, he just hadn’t really thought beyond wiping the smiles of those elders faces.
At this point, Madara joined the conversation. He seemed to have caught on to Tobiramas plan to force the elders into accepting the lesser of two evils.
“Of course Izuna and Touka wouldn’t be forced to separate. He would marry me.”
The three Uchiha elders were speechless at that declaration. Izuna and Touka seemed reluctantly impressed, while Hashirama just buried his face into his hands.
Now it was Tobiramas and Madaras turn to share a smug smile while Yoshio was turning an alarming shade of red. Now who was laughing?
The only woman on the Uchiha elder council, who had been quiet so far, stepped forward with an assessing look towards Tobirama and Madara.
“The Uchiha Council accepts Tobirama Senju as future wife of the clan head Madara Uchiha.”
…
“Well, that clearly went not as expected”, Hashirama said, as he leaned back against his chair with a sigh. “We can tell them tomorrow that you changed your mind.”
Madara, who had been stewing quietly since the council had left, snapped: “We are not admitting defeat to those old bastards!”
Hashirama blinked.
“Madara, you can’t get married out of spite!”
“Watch me.”
The Hokage turned towards Tobirama, who surely would be much more reasonable, but the white haired man was not looking at him. Instead, he locked eyes with Madara and they seemed to communicate non-verbally.
An uneasy feeling spread through Hashirama. His Brother and his best friend could both be stubborn to a fault, which had them butting heads more than once but in the rare cases they agreed on something they were practically unstoppable.
“They are not taking us serious but they will! Those ancient clowns are going to give up before us,” Tobirama announced furiously, while Madara nodded his head in agreement.
Hashirama put his head into his hands again and murmured mushed against his palms, “I have a bad feeling about this.”