Chapter Text
📌 Earth-Prime || National City || Kara Danvers' Loft
— Narrator’s POV
Kara paused for a moment to analyze the current situation of her apartment: lack of furniture and many items already boxed. Looking at the property almost similar to the one she saw when she first set foot in National City with the intention of staying and remembering that it was once a home for her and the place of many celebrations with her family was heartbreaking. Even though she had reflected several times over the decision she had made, it was still hard to avoid the teary eyes and the tightness in her heart muscle.
“I've got a thought that I can't get out of my head for a while. Maybe even before the fight against Lex and Nyxly, which is when the idea came up”, the blonde said, staring at any point in the room while Alex looked away from the glass of wine in order to direct all attention to her sister. “I was thinking of going to Argo with no set time to return”, she said it low and hesitantly, afraid of Alex's reaction.
The redhead couldn't say anything for a long time, and she could feel the other's eyes on her. It was only a week before her and Kelly’s wedding and they were both enjoying a sisters night before their honeymoon, and she definitely didn't expect the bomb the Kryptonian dropped. But she couldn't lie to herself and say that she never thought that day would come, the day her sister would say she was going to travel to the planet surviving the explosion and debris of her home. Even though she was, now, longer on Earth than she had been on Krypton, it was still her more original nature, so to speak. Perhaps, for Clark it was different, as he grew up on the water planet and never had any kryptonian customs, unlike his cousin who lived two completely different lives in completely different environments, separated only by enormous tragedy and trauma. Another factor was the biological father, Zor-El, who after years in the Phantom Zone had found his way back to Argo and his wife. Theoretically, all of Kara's lost life was ready for her return, but separated from the present by millions of light years.
"Obviously I'll wait for the wedding, but it's-"
"You don't have to say anything," interrupted the blonde before she started to ramble. “Sorry, that sounded ruder than I intended”, she set the glasses that were in her and in her sister's hand on the coffee table to intertwine their fingers and face each other. The “oldest” saw the blue orbs full of tears and immediately began her answer. “You don’t need to cry. I know you are afraid of letting people down and me included, but that decision is yours alone. You went back to that horrible place and you barely had time to recover because we had villains on the loose. Found your father again and didn't even have time to enjoy it because he understood that didn't belong here, and you had to stay. Even in denial, I always knew the great possibility of this happening, I would never blame you for a decision that anyone, who went through what you went through, would make. Take as much time as you need without worrying about returning to CatCo or Supergirl patrols. Six years ago, it was just you protecting the city and even now and then the world. Now we're at nine and let's face it, National City isn't that big, huh?”, she finished, wiping the tears that streamed down the blonde's reddened face. She immediately pulled the heroine into a hug and started caressing the golden locks. .
“I feel like I’m letting a lot of people down with this break. Like Cat who asked me to become editor-in-chief or even Esme as an aunt”, she said between sobs. Wine, popcorn and the movie had lost importance a long time ago.
“Everything can wait. If you're not mentally well, you won't be a good boss or aunt. Esme will understand when the conversation comes up. I know you don't want her to grow up feeling forgotten or alone, but you have to make yourself a priority every now and then”.
They both held each other for a long time, absorbing the impact the decision would have on both their lives and on the SuperFriends’. They could have fought and not pecked each other in the first few years that the blonde had landed on Earth, but now they were like fingernails and flesh, and they couldn't imagine a life without the presence of the other. They were the sister they never had and they were proud to share the "Danvers" surname.
“That might be a little selfish, but promise to be back?”, Alex asked softly, her voice thick with tears.
“I will always come back to you, Alex. I promise”, she said, staring into the brown eyes in the middle of the low light of the television, snuggling even more.
The excessive wetness of her tears roused the Kryptonian from her memories and made her look around once more. It was time to take the mural photos, the hardest part in her opinion. Looking at each photo was like traveling back in time, she was automatically taken to the exact moment each photo had been taken. Christmases, Thanksgiving dinners, game nights, the first day in the new uniform – and how angry Alex was to see the secret laid out there given on a plate –, the first article published with her name in the byline, trips to Midvale, moments from her childhood, lunches with Lena. Oh, looking at anything reminiscent of the black-haired woman made her heart twist differently. It reminded her of the heterochromatic eyes tinged with disappointment and sadness at the news of her departure. Even if the Irish descent had said otherwise, she knew deep down there was not that much understanding. She just wanted to forget that moment.
The blonde was pacing the Tower while the SuperFriends didn't arrive for their scheduled meeting.
“I know you're nervous and anxious, because I am too. But if you keep going like that, you'll pierce the ground”, the redhead said with false calm.
“But what if they hate me? What if everyone get really sad about it?”, he asked in a way that was almost pitying.
“They will be sad, because I am too. But nobody will hate you”, Alex assured him.
“Why would we hate you?”, asked Nia, as she entered the main room with the rest of the group following her. Kara stopped all her movements and widened her eyes as she saw her entire family with curious looks.
"It's... It's just that I...", it became too much for her. She just couldn't go on.
“Kara has news to share and would like everyone's understanding”, Sentinel tried to help, but received a terrified look in response. The tension was palpable, the silence, deafening.
“You need to take a break from Supergirl, right? Nothing fairer after all you've been through. You know that if you need me, I'll always be available to listen to you”, Kelly deduced, after what felt like years for heroin.
"Especially now that you're going back to CatCo”, Andrea continued. Both with understanding expressions.
“We should have seen this before Alex and Kelly's wedding. You could have taken this break sooner. Stay out for as long as you need to”, said J'onn, firm and irreducible.
“If you want, you can send some reports to me. Or just use me as a secretary until everything settles down in the office”, Nia said proactively. The Danvers sisters opened and closed their mouths, but were unable to actually stop everyone's initiative. The redhead could feel Kara getting more and more tense beside her.
“You can rest assured that we're all going to take very good care of National City”, Brainy assured her.
You can count on all of us at any time. Do not hesitate to ask”, Lena finished, while everyone nodded in agreement.
“I'm moving to Argo for a while”, the blonde finally revealed, breaking the magic of the moment when everyone in her family was ready to help her. She could see so many feelings passing and changing like flashes in the expressions of everyone present. She stared at Lena long enough to see the shock and sadness in those eyes that she used to get lost in until she looked up at the ceiling. She sighed a couple of times before recovering for more context, while Alex suddenly found the floor more interesting. "I've been thinking a lot about this possibility in question and I'm just so tired. Tired enough not to bear the weight of this cape and these glasses. Exhausted enough to be neither Kara Danvers nor Supergirl. I just need to be Kara Zor-El for a while. It's not 'forever, but it's what I need right now. Sorry about that”, she said at once, hoping for some comment back, but everyone seemed too caught up in their own thoughts.
A sob escaped her throat before she could stop it, and she quickly covered her eyes with her hands in an attempt to hide her vulnerability. It was at that moment that Alex looked at his wife in a pleading tone, but Nia was quicker to encircle the blonde's body with her arms.
“You helped me out and were such a support when we first met. If I am the journalist and heroine that I am today, it's because of you. We'll be waiting for you. It's OK”, the Naltorian said as she caressed the blonde locks. She could feel her friend shivering and squeezing her fingers tighter and tighter in her uniform.
Little by little, everyone found the embrace exchanged between the two women as they whispered words of comfort. Even if they were heartbroken, they couldn't possibly judge the person who stood up to fight two enemies while trying to heal inner wounds. The only ones not to share the moment were Brainy, Andrea and Lena. The Coluan still had certain difficulties with feelings and physical contact. The Latina, even if welcomed into the group, did not feel like she was a part of it, nor worthy of sharing such a moment. And Lena... Oh, Lena!
The Irish woman was petrified by it all. Yes, of course! It wasn't her fault. But there was a little voice in the back of her mind telling her she was responsible for one of her nightmares happening for the third time: being taken away from Kara. If she hadn't reacted the way she did, they wouldn't have gone months without speaking because of a stupid secret identity, and consequently, the blonde wouldn't have been sent to the Phantom Zone, so she wouldn't have had to leave in order to gather your little bits. Maybe, still, if she hadn't gone to Newfoundland as soon as Kara had returned from the ghost world, the blonde would have had more support to recover.
The SuperFriends had already moved away enough to smile and wipe away the Kryptonian's tears, while the newlyweds exchanged wise glances when seeing the situation that the godmother was in. Brainy, even if apprehensive and awkward, approached the heroine in order to say his part.
“I learned that the box method doesn't work, because once they explode, we have to work with what was inside. I think that's why you're going to Argo City. The city will be safe, but I will miss you”, he said restrained, but it was able to see the boy's emotion. They were both torn between hugging or not, but in the end Kara wrapped her arms around the nerd, making him widen his eyes at the intensity applied.
“If I'm here, first of all, know that you have a very big weight in this”, Andrea started after the hug was broken. “Take your time to get back to being Kara Sunshine Danvers in the spirit of a Golden Retriever”, she said simply, making everyone smile. Catching her totally off guard, the blonde hugged her whispering a “thank you” very softly.
Lena knew that theoretically she was next. What would she say? She was between the extremes of begging her on her knees not to leave while declaring her love or kissing her forehead goodbye as she claimed it was okay. But nothing stopped the shock from turning into large tears forming in the heterochromatic orbs as she looked at the ocean-eyed figure standing in front of her. She pulled the Kryptonian to her and buried her head in the neck of the one who used to carry the House El crest on her chest. Hiccups left her throat before she could even think. Luthors were taught to keep their bearings in public, to never allow their feelings to be exposed. But here, they were just Kara and Lena. She squeezed her fingers together enough that her phalanges turned white. No one dared to interrupt the moment, they breathed and cried even in a controlled way to avoid disturbing them.
“When do you intend to go?”, J'onn said softly, after what seemed like an eternity.
“In the weekend”, Kara said softly as she stroked the CEO's curls. In three days, that meant. The only thing Lena did was squeeze the blonde tighter, fervently wishing this was a joke or a bad dream. As soon as the words left the heroine's mouth, reality knocked on everyone's door, and there they silently asked that the soul of the group not be long in returning.
Taking a deep breath, Kara pulled herself out of her thoughts and continued to remove the photos from the wall. She was definitely going to miss home, so she deposited them in a keepsake box that would go with everything she wanted to have with her during her stay in Argo. The feelings inside her were so conflicted: while she was happy to have some time with her Kryptonian parents and customs, she was sad to leave her home and family temporarily behind. Taking another deep breath that late afternoon, the Kryptonian also removed the photos from the fridge and headed to the bedroom with the can of memories in hand. On top of the mattress without bedding, there were two necessities, some clothes to put in the suitcase and certain letters. Oh boy. She knew very well what they were about. She didn't think twice about throwing them in the pile of things that would stay with her mother – or so she thought –, after all the loft would be sold, so her things were divided between: going with her to Argo, staying in Midvale, returning to Lena or throwing them away.
Though she wouldn't be returning one thing to the witch: the MIT sweatshirt. How could she? She would miss her, she already did, so she would need something to keep her well. Nothing better than being able to sleep with her scent. Maybe that was too far from the curve, but there was nothing she could do, she would walk off this planet a coward, and last night just proved that.
End. It was done. It was all set for Alex to take her to their mother's house. Actually, almost everything. She'd been procrastinating on this call since the wedding, but she couldn't just flee Earth without giving Cat Grant a satisfaction. Able for the woman to manage to land on Argo and drag her by the hair until she arrives at CatCo.
Sitting on the floor by the window, she could feel the sun's rays illuminating her skin and renewing her powers. She would miss the feeling the yellow sun gave her. She typed the damn phone number and waited for the call. Last time, the future new owner of the media company was in Colombia, today she could be basically anywhere in the world.
"Kieran, how are you? Calling because you already have ideas for the first edition of the magazine with you as editor-in-chief? ”, the older woman got straight to the point as soon as she took the call.
“Oh… I…”, Kara hesitated at first, it was hard to break the expectations of someone she admired and respected so much. “I actually need some time. I'm sorry for this. Obviously I was very excited and honored by the proposal and I understand the money you are moving, but I need a break”, now that she's got the courage from nowhere, she'd say everything. “On the call on my sister's wedding day, I was unemployed – and still am – of my own volition. Being Supergirl was taking too much time, and it wasn't like I had enough psychological structure to unfold in two. Not that I have it now or had it in the past. But what you told me has several interpretations and the most sincere is that I don't know who I am or what my goals are. Going to the Phantom Zone made me relive things I really wish I could forget, but it also opened my eyes to things I chose to ignore for a long time. If I am to take on my role as more than a journalist, I must not only deserve it, but also be able to do my best. It would be unfair to occupy a position without being 100% focused on it. My dad is back so I think this time in Argo will be good. I'm sorry-
“Kara, you talk too much” , to call her the correct name means “shit got real”. “Tell me, three years ago, what did I do? Exactly, I abandoned you. You needed a mentor in journalism, but I let go of your hand because I was feeling the way you do now: aimless. I created an empire and I didn't play my role as a decent mother. What did I have to move at the time? You went through this ghosts’ ritual that opened your eyes a little on your own life” , oh, how the Kryptonian wished it had been a simple ritual. “If you need that time, take it. I expect a call in a few months, have a good time. Oh, and send me some intergalactic souvenirs when you get back”. And that's how the line got muted. Kara was amazed at how quickly she was and now found herself lying there with tears trapped in her eyes, sunbathing while she waited for her sister. She had a lot to sort out with herself and her family, but she had a little voice – which hadn't spoken in a long time – telling her that everything would be fine. Maybe it was that old hope .