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he watched as she closed her eyes, the sun shining down on her tranquil face. it was as she did this to him on purpose—reading her book to her seemed an impossible task now. unwillingly, he starts to stammer and repeat the dialogue he was trying to focus on; diana took notice of that.
opening her eyes, she speaks. “hm…? azul, is everything all right? should we stop here?” he blinks at her question.
“n… no. i just hope i’m not boring you, diana-san.” he coughed, composing himself and hastily finding the last place where he left off.
“rest assured,” she begins, a gentle giggle escaping her lips, “you are far from boring. your voice is very soothing, actually. i appreciate you doing this for me.” he glances at her, and finds her smiling softly in his direction. immediately, the silver-haired boy looked down at the pages of the book—an adventure romance story, something that wasn’t his taste, personally—instead of subjecting his consciousness to be the victim of her peaceful warmth. as he was about to finish the current chapter, she continued on with her words.
“braille books are hard to come by and are quite expensive, to be honest with you. my audio device has also broken recently so i have to wait until i get a new one, and i feel bad for asking the other girls to read to me as of late.” she sighs, her smile turning into a small frown. “so, once again, thank you for doing this for me.”
he coughed again, making it the second time today. “it’s not a big concern. i’m just fulfilling my end of the deal.” promptly, he shuts his mouth, realizing what he just said. did i really have to phrase it that way…? he thinks.
diana perks up. “deal…? i didn’t think of it as a deal. i just helped you with the mostro lounge’s profits yesterday, didn’t i?” she asks, genuinely confused.
azul should have kept his mouth shut, should have left it at that. all he should have said was something along the lines of, “yes, and i thank you greatly for your help. in return, i wanted to do something for you, as well.”
but that was not who azul was—and in front of someone like diana, he couldn’t easily hide his true feelings behind a charming smile.
“i caused myself to be in debt to you, and i intended to clear that debt. that’s all.”
he looked at her and felt a pang of guilt strike his heart.
diana’s face fell completely for a split second, before she quickly put on another soft smile and whispered, “oh… alright. that’s… that’s fine.”
the two focused their attention back on the book after that, but azul knew that it no longer seemed magical to diana anymore.
♡
the day, so far, had been sunny and bright—the perfect weather for laying outside in the courtyard and playing invigorating sports such as magift.
so it came as a surprise to the entire student body when the bright blue sky suddenly turned gray, and the warmth of the sun disappeared and was replaced by cold raindrops, falling down hard and fast.
of course, for azul, this was beneficial. students would be scurrying around campus, trying to find shelter from the unexpected downpour. soon, people would be piling into mostro lounge, and with a little bit of advertising from the employees’ end—madol would be flowing into azul’s hands.
he originally planned to stay inside the vip room, writing up more contracts and counting the gold coins that would be brought his way—but all at once the ristorante was understaffed, no one being able to foresee the sheer amount of students coming in for shelter and refreshments. azul didn’t mind. in fact, he was more than thrilled. he wasn’t some clumsy man who couldn’t keep a frenzied crowd under control, so he rose from his seat and walked towards the dining area, leaving his coat behind in the room.
“table three is waiting for their orders to be taken, azul.”
“why, thank you, jade.”
azul walked towards said table with poise, head already filled with delight of today’s profits.
“hello, and welcome to mostro lounge. i’ll be taking your orders-”
how funny it was that all of his confidence faded immediately once he saw diana sitting in front of him.
his mouth shut at once—hands feeling clammy and heart beating faster with every second that passed by. the soothing jazz music that played throughout the ristorante did nothing to calm his nerves, only seeming to grow louder and overtake his thoughts.
“oh, wonderful. it's you. i thought you normally didn't assist the waiting staff—or did you get bored with managing your abundant collection of sordid contracts?”
diana's voice is something he's memorized by now, given how much time he's coincidentally spent with her. this new voice, however, was one he wasn't as familiar with, but could still identify easily. it was elegant, much like diana's, but was instead brisk and curt—the complete opposite of the sweet, gentle tone he’s grown used to.
he coughed, desperately trying to think of a comeback.
“i-”
“liana, don't be rude.” diana put a hand on her friend's shoulder, looking in her direction with a light warning. “he's barely gotten a sentence in and you're already berating him.” she lets out a timid laugh, cheeks slightly red.
feeling his legs begin to shake and give out, azul averts his gaze to liana, who still refused to give up her hostile glare towards the male. “we did not expect the massive amount of customers today, so i’m helping out as best i can.” it wasn’t a snarky remark like liana’s, but it was respectful and straight to the point, which was just as fine.
“may i take your orders, ladies?”
he now turns to kora, who has been silent the entire time. jumping a little, she begins to stutter, her nerves on high alert. “uh... uh… i’ll have a pot- potato soup, with a bread roll and, um, water…” she closes her menu and looks down at her lap, and azul could tell she desperately wants him to take the other orders and leave. not out of maliciousness, but kora was much like idia in a certain regard—always escaping the eyes of others and preferring to be alone or with people she was the most comfortable with; he’s observed that they both seem to grow small when confronted with the smallest bit of social interaction.
he understood the girl’s feelings at this very moment, it seems.
giving her a quick nod, he begrudgingly looks at liana, who still is wearing her glare from earlier. sighing, she simply orders, “i’ll have a smoked mackerel with eggs on the side.” he was thankful she was brief about it, and took her menu from her hands.
“diana-san, what would you like to eat?” he asks, surprisingly soft.
she’s silent for a moment, and azul’s stomach feels tighter than before.
“... may i have a shepherd’s pie with peas and carrots? and one water, please.”
he gulps. “of course, right away.”
♡
finally catching up to the eel, azul grabs his arm. “jade. i know you did that on purpose.”
a chuckle. “my, whatever might you be talking about, azul?” after wriggling his way out of the tight grip, he puts a hand on his chin, his usual smile making azul grow more irritated by the second.
he groans. “don’t make me say it, jade.”
he chuckles again. damn it, azul thinks.
“ah. are you talking about the table of young ladies? well, i’ve noticed that you haven’t been talking to diana-san much lately, so i assumed that… something may have happened between you two, and i thought in an environment such as this may be the best time to engage in conversation with her again.”
“this is a lounge. how is taking her order a good conversation starter? and i don’t spend that much time with her in the first place. why would i chat with her, anyways? and another thing-”
taking a tray from the kitchen counter, jade ignores azul and looks at the slip of paper with a number on it. he grins. “well, i’m sorry to cut our discussion short, azul, but it seems i have to take this to table three. we’ll be able to talk after our shift.”
before azul could get another word in, jade was already walking towards table three.
♡
azul has experienced infatuations in the past, this he won’t deny.
one girl he remembers, avisa, was undoubtedly the most beautiful girl in school. she was immensely popular amongst the boys, and all the girls wanted to be her friend. azul would gaze at her from his corner of the classroom, enchanted with her shoulder-length, black hair and bright green eyes.
of course, due to the nature of his younger self, he never sought a relationship with her. he didn’t have a chance.
in his field of interest, he was constantly occupied with strengthening his knowledge and magical prowess. he was too busy building his future empire, so he left his feelings to wither and die.
yes… that was why he pays no heed to romantic affairs. that was why.
nevertheless, he does remember that avisa was a very pretty girl, and even though he didn’t feel anything for her anymore, azul was convinced that she was the most beautiful girl to exist—in the sea and on the land.
however, that image shattered when he met diana.
he was no vil, but azul did have a deep enough understanding that people’s appearances typically reflect their personality—the twins have been excellent examples of this for his whole life.
diana was the complete opposite of avisa.
avisa had dark, black hair that fell to her shoulders and was unkempt. she was an active girl, always swimming around and making the top of the sports rankings. she had bright green eyes the color of kelp; they were always sparkling brightly, constantly enamored by the attention that surrounded her. avisa, if he recalls correctly, always had this imposing voice that made her presence known whenever she greeted everybody in the morning.
diana, however, had long, auburn hair that was neatly styled into ringlets that fell to her back and was tied back by a light blue bow. her eyes were a dulled blue, but azul could tell that they once were bright and full of life long ago. to tell the truth, he believes they still are, just hiding—waiting, for something to bring them to life again. what is this “something”? he doesn’t have a clue.
usually, diana had sunglasses resting on her bangs, as one day she told him that although she could no longer see, she still liked to have her eyes visible for the world itself to see. he nodded and told her that was nice, but kept the fact that he actually didn’t understand what she meant to himself.
another difference between the girl from the present and the girl from the past was their smiles.
diana’s smiles were naturally warm and comforting. like a mother who softly smiles at her children’s antics, she gifted gentle smiles to others who greeted her in the halls, those who helped her with difficult assignments, and those who would lose their composure over trivial matters such as misplacing a possession.
and yet, azul couldn’t help but notice that whenever she sent a light grin his way, her cheeks were painted the color of pink camellias and carnations—which made azul’s heart beat faster than usual and made him feel like he was floating on clouds. it felt… pleasant—which the only discernible explanation for this feeling would be common courtesy. yes, that was it. it was just polite interaction and gestures that would make anybody feel good. this sentiment is mutual for his analysis of her outward appearance—it is in the twins interest to poke fun at him for his gazing and remarks on diana, but he retorts that people may comment on other’s looks with no… romantic feelings attached. jade and floyd’s nefarious laughter will ring in his ears,
diana’s smiles were something that would forever be etched into his mind. her ladylike grins and elegant appearance were not something to easily be forgotten.
and avisa… well, he sometimes wonders why her smiles have become blurred in his memory.
not much, though.
♡
it went undisclosed in the previous passage, but azul observed that diana was so beautiful that the world seemed to emphasize this beauty.
she sat underneath the tree in the courtyard again. azul knows it’s silly, but guilt can’t help but build up a little when he remembers her crestfallen expression when spoke those unkind words to her. it also bewildered him—azul was not a man easily susceptible to feelings of remorse. he laughed at the men who would sign his contracts, accept his deals and then cry foul play when they failed to meet the requirements and ultimately pay the price.
and yet, when diana’s face fell at his hurtful words that day, his heart twisted with regret.
approaching her with caution, he gained a clearer look at her face and he froze in place.
upon further inspection, diana was not just merely sitting—she was sleeping.
falling into slumber anywhere was an action that was more comment associated with silver from diasomnia, so it came as a surprise to azul to find her peacefully sleeping away in such a vulnerable state.
the sun was setting below the horizon now, letting the sunlight fall between the gaps in the leaves. it shone down on her face, just like that day. her lips were slightly parted, and her chest fell up and down in a calm rhythm as she dozed in tranquility. she was leaning against the bark of the tree, causing the bow in her hair to become slightly undone, allowing the hair that was tied back to fall in front of her face.
he stared at her for a little while longer, debating if he should move ahead with an idea in mind, or walk away and pretend this never happened.
azul took his eyes off of her for a moment and noticed her school bag laying beside her.
there it is.
well, he thinks, it would be awful if someone were to come and rummage through her belongings or steal her bag. i’ll… watch over it for her. she’ll pay me back later.
the silver-haired male sits down next to her with care, making sure not to wake her. he leans over her as quietly as he can, taking her bag and placing it down safely next to him. after that task was done, azul realized that he would have nothing to do, and all at once he felt more awkward than before.
he decided to preoccupy his mind with other things that needed his tending to later—such as mostro lounge, professor crewel’s potion exam this thursday, the board game club and ace’s secret meeting with him… yes, he had many things to absorb himself with.
well, that activity only lasted for a short while, seeing as now he was sure that his heart was about to burst.
diana’s head was resting on his shoulder.
her bow had completely fallen out of her hair by now, resting by the root of the tree. azul’s head was racing, millions of thoughts whirling around with no signs of stopping. his hands grew clammy, the black leather gloves not helping. the side pieces of hair that were tied up have now fallen as well, framing her face perfectly.
before azul knew it, his hands were moving on their own. he found himself tucking her hair behind her ear, taking extra care to not rouse her out of slumber.
it seems, however, that fate had a different plan.
she wakes, rubbing her eyes and covering her mouth as she yawns.
“wh... who’s there?” she mumbles, exhaustion evident in her voice.
he clears his throat. “good evening, diana-san. i noticed you sleeping here and... i watched over your bag for you. it’s really not safe to just fall asleep out in the open like this, you know?”
“oh… yes, i suppose it is. thank you, azul,” she says, remembering her courteousness in the thick of her hazy rumination. the pair sat in silence for a few moments more, neither daring to make a noise. azul felt his heart rate speed up and felt sweat start to roll down his skin. should i leave now, or should i wait for a few more minutes? what should i say to her? he thought anxiously. just as he was deciding how to take his exit, her voice cut through his train of thought.
“what do you want?”
“... i beg your pardon?” he asks, puzzled.
a soft sigh escapes her mouth. “... if i know you well enough, azul, you don’t do anything without returning the favor. you guarded my bag for me—thank you, again—and if i am to guess correctly, you will be asking me to repay the debt, yes?” azul didn’t notice, but during her question she had already found her hair bow and tied her hair back to its original state—almost as if it was never obstructed in the first place. he stared at her profile, watching her collect herself to get ready to go back to her dorm. he remembers the day where he read to her, speaking his truth when it was brought up—and effectively bringing a melancholic feeling upon her heart at his words.
he cleared his throat.
“may… may we kiss?”
they both stopped, the weight of his question starting to weigh down on them.
“i… excuse me?” diana whispered, the quietest she’s ever been.
azul felt his face burn up, desperately racking his mind to find a reason for his request. in fact, the man didn’t even fully grasp what he even said.
“for the, um… for the debt. a ki… a kiss would… no. no, no, no,” he said, shaking his head, “i truly don’t know why i said that. that was extremely rude of me. i shouldn’t have asked for something inappropriate like that.” he stands up suddenly, dusting off his uniform. “i will, um…. i will think of something and inform you later. i will… take my leave now. good evening, diana-san.” he was so flustered that he forgot to offer her a walk back to her dorm, an action that formed into a custom over time, which he may have enjoyed doing.
as he made haste towards the octavinelle mirror—already planning to spend the night to write up new contracts and manage ones already signed—he stopped dead in his tracks.
“wait!” she cried, voice barely above a whisper.
he stood perfectly still for what felt like an eternity before slowly turning around, something in him wanting to stall for more time.
azul walked back to the tree and sat down, taking his time. he works up the courage to face her, his face redder than the roses in heartslabyul. the question he asked her still weighed on his mind; he was deeply embarrassed for asking such an ungentlemanly request in the first place.
diana’s expression was serious. she folded her hands into her lap and her lips were pursed. azul watched her, noticing the way the sunlight shaped her face and lighted up her skin. her eyes were closed, making her seem as though she were the most peaceful girl in this moment. maybe she was. or maybe she wasn’t—maybe she was frantically deciding her next words like him. maybe her heart was beating as fast as his—feelings unbridled and uncovered as their next moves were planned with precision.
she opens her eyes, and gives her answer. “i’ll do it.”
“...”
“i’ll give you... a kiss.”
“... this feels wrong. i feel like i’d practically be forcing you to do that. it’s alright, diana-san.”
“no. no. it’s fine. i w... i want to do it...” she mutters, shifting her weight.
azul can’t believe what he’s hearing. he just asked for something impolite, and for reasons he didn’t even know!
he still feels a pit in his stomach and he feels sick. “are you... are you sure?” he asks, his voice uncharacteristically wobbly.
“yes,” she states.
he takes in a breath. “al- alright.” he looks around the courtyard, as if anyone would be out this late.
leaning over to her, she does the same; azul feels anxious as he comes to the realization of what he’s about to do. he feels his face grow hot, and he wants to run far away from this situation—but for reasons unknown, he stays. body firmly in place, the only thing he can do is lean closer and closer to her.
he slowly closes his eyes, trying to calm his nerves, thinking of anything else to distract him—mostro lounge, potions exam, board game club, ace’s meeting, mostro lounge, potions exam, board game club, ace’s meeting, mostro-
oh.
oh.
any other thought that once tried to weasel it’s way into his mind was cast away at once.
diana’s lips were incredibly soft.
the boy didn’t know what do to. should he move? should he do something different? he never imagined his first kiss would be like this, under these circumstances no less!
the sound of crickets and the gentle breeze of the wind filled the silent atmosphere as the two students shared an innocence, heartfelt moment with each other.
how long has it been? seconds? minutes? it felt like years, if anything. but it was strange... azul didn’t want to pull away. he internally thanked for whatever force kept him in place, refusing him to move an inch. millions of thoughts were racing through his head—be bolder! hold her waist, cup her cheek, pull away and give her a kiss on the forehead—anything!
but he didn’t, because something about this simple action was just as content. so he continued to do what he knew best, with his lack of knowledge in this field. it seemed to suit diana, as well.
concealed means laughed at him, making him still question why he kept doing this. he wasn’t in love with her. he wasn’t. love doesn’t mix well with a man like him.
and yet, if that means he wouldn’t subject himself to it for the rest of his life... there’s nothing wrong with at least a moment of it’s blissful feeling.
right?