Work Text:
takane no hana (高嶺の花)
(n.) someone or something one desires but is far away or unattainable; lit. “flower on a high peak”
|Japanese|
And he's never going to watch her fall apart because he will always be there to catch her, because he will never let her fall. If anyone could set him free, it would be her because he has been under her spell for so long, he doesn't even remember what it felt like not to be in love with her. As long as he has her, everything will be alright. He just loves her so, so much, it's beyond ridiculous. Even when he was mean Ben, especially when he was mean Ben. He couldn't have played favorites back then, now, could he? He is sure it showed, though. On his face, in the way he talked to her and always seemed to find a reason to visit her in her office even when he wasn't actually working on anything that needed her input.
Always looking for her, wanting her to tell him he was being stupid for thinking about her. Wanted her to tell him he wasn't stupid for thinking about her. Wanted to drive her as crazy as she drove him. Wanted to throw all caution to the wind. Just wanted her. In every way imaginable. Because she was just so, so very fascinating and different and oh god, she was Leslie fucking Knope, unofficial queen of Pawnee and of the Parks Department and he was Ben Wyatt, state auditor and mean guy.
And in what universe would he ever stand a chance with her? Why would she even consider him worthy of her? She was, and is, way, way too good for him. He knows that. Mean Ray-Ban Ben knew that. Future Ben will know that.
But now they are here. On their way to forever. And just like Bon Jovi said, he believes they're halfway there. Because their first night together, their eyes met, his asking for permission and hers pleading him, yes yes yes. And that's when he knew he could never be with anyone else again for the rest of his life because she was the best thing that ever happened to him and oh god, did it feel good being with her.
This is what makes them work, they both look for heaven and they put love first. That's why they decided to just say screw it and do this thing for real. They live for love, they love their work and each other, too.
And after first meeting her and not being able to decide if she was the most annoying person he had ever met or just the best thing ever, he definitely knew he would forever be thinking about her, one way or the other. He is pretty glad it's the way it is, though. He knew he was hers when he first freaked out because he needed her, when it didn't matter what for, he just needed her to be by his side. When he couldn't stand the thought of not being with her, or more importantly of her not being with him. When one night he got a little drunk for no reason other than not having her beside him and debated calling her just to hear her voice at three in the morning. When he listened to Tom dismiss his clothes just to be able to stand in the doorway of her office and watch her out of the corner of his eye. When he ordered waffles for breakfast one day, even though he wasn't that big a fan of them.
And now they have a love big enough to make the universe look like it's a bunch of balls floating around. That makes him feel as though he's constantly on drugs, not that he would know what that feels like. And he feels, no, knows that she thinks exactly the same thoughts that he has. And that is more reassuring than anything else in his life has ever been before. He was never like this, never so in love, all in. And honestly, he doesn't know what he is doing; all that he knows is that she makes him want to be a different man. A better man.
He would never have thought being with her would be like this. This exciting, yes. But this all-consuming? No. Not this way. That's not to say he's complaining, it's just that he is in their relationship a hundred percent, a hundred and ten percent. All the way, all in. And that he has never felt like this before, even though he thought he had been in love but no. Never like this.
And it's not just him. She goes the extra mile for him, without even thinking about it twice. And that means something, knowing he has some baggage as well. Being a mayor at the age of eighteen and what not has ruined some part of him but she is more than willing to rebuild whatever is lost inside of him and that's just one more reason why he loves her so, so much. She accepts him the way that he is and always has. Her admission that she thought he was cute back then helped making him forget, too. But that was just an added bonus, her support is what keeps him going, keeps him moving, keeps him standing, keeps him breathing. Because he is the guy with the past and she is the girl with the silver lining.
:fin: