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The thing about unrequited love was that it was something that was totally hopeless because you knew that the other person didn't like you back at all and that somehow was enough to make you understand that you needed to move on but it wasn't that easy when your feelings weren't even known by the person that you liked.
I mean yeah you weren't officially rejected so in theory it made it less hurtful but it was somehow even worst. The thing is that at least if you are rejected, all your hope is totally crushed and that helps you to move on because there is no hope to hold onto but Pran wasn't rejected.
His parents send him away before he could say something and that bothered him the most, it bother him that he always let his fears control him.
He thought about the day that his parents took him away from school a lot, Pat looking at him that day made everything worst because for a split second he felt like maybe he did liked him after all.
There were numerous times in were Pran felt that Pat did liked him because there was something in the way that Pat looked at him, like if his eyes were glowing. Especially, that day that he was telling Pat about how he liked the hesitation of falling in love someone. He didn't directly saw how Pat was looking at him because Pran was looking at something else but he felt Pat's eyes on him his eyes felt affectionate.
But it was probably all in his mind just like all the times that he got his hopes up when Pat was nice with him to then realize that it was just that, Pat being Pat because Pat was nice except with bullies but that was fair. Pat was the kind of person that always stood up for others and did what was right even if it got him into problems, thought most times Pat always got away with it.
How couldn't he? He was charming, brave, kind, caring, determined, funny, loyal and even he hated to admit it, really handsome. All these characteristics made people love to be around him and how couldn't they? He was perfect in every way that was possible but Pran didn't loved him because of that, he loved him because he was Pat and Pat had all those qualities because he was Pat.
There were times in were Pran felt like if he was the only one who could see through him, not only the Pat that everyone knew but the Pat that Pat kept to himself. The Pat who did worried more than he admit it, the Pat that did wish had more support from his parents, the Pat who actually wasn't always happy, the Pat who did took some things seriously despite acting as if he didn't to be more likable to others, to Pat who wish he had someone that he could be vulnerable with but more importantly Pran sense as if Pat had always yearned for something just as Pran did. Pran was a yearner and as a yearner he could recognize the same in Pat but maybe Pat was just as oblivious about him being a yearner as he was about Pran liking him.
Pat's obliviousness was something really adorable to Pran but also comforting or well at least it was. The truth is that Pran had though about telling Pat how he felt numerous times but his fear always stopped him, every time he tried to say those words to Pat, he wasn't able to not even during his last chance. After that day Pran had a hard time sleeping, he didn't always had the same dream but it was still a repetitive dream in where it always ended in the same. He dreamt about confessing his feelings to Pat but before Pat could answer, he woke up. His love for Pat felt so overwhelming at times and it were in moments like this that he wish he confessed to Pat so that he knew in all certainty that it was never meant to be, that way all his hope would be gone and he could finally move on.
Sadly, that wasn't the case and the only thing that he could really do was to accept that hope that remained in him because Pran couldn't help but think that maybe if he did things different, that maybe if he tried harder, maybe he would have been able to make Pat like him back. At the same time, Pran deep down knew that it wouldn't really matter what he did, Pat never liked him back and was never going to. Sometimes it wasn't about what you did, it was about who you were and Pran sadly was the kind of person that Pat was never going to like back because he was Pran. Why would Pat ever like him back? To just think about Pat liking him back was ridiculous enough. Yet, despite knowing that he was being stupid, he couldn't help but still feel hope. After all, how does one stop having hope?
You don't stop having hope unless it's taken away from you and Pat gave Pran so much hope for years that it was impossible for that hope to be erased easily. He was right after all, the hesitation of being in love was beautiful. You fall in love with someone and you might not be sure that they like you back but experiencing all those feelings and all that uncertainty of "what if they do" somehow is enough to give you hope in not giving up.
It was true that he wasn't going to see Pat any time soon but he knew that one day was going to see him again and maybe when he did all his feelings were going to be gone, maybe they wouldn't disappear at all or maybe just when he thought all his feelings were gone, just seeing Pat once was going to bring back all his feelings for him. He didn't knew what was going to happen but what he did knew was that thanks to Pat, he was never going to completely lose hope. Not only wasn't he going to lose hope on Pat liking him back, he was never going to lose hope in anything in general because Pat taught him what having hope was like and he was always gonna be grateful to him because of that.
Pat gave him hope.
Pran was hopeful because of Pat.
In so many ways, Pat was his hope.
