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In the end, it had come down to saving the Rebellion or risking someone’s life.
Poe wished he’d been faster.
He wished he’d beaten Finn to the ship.
…………………………………………………
Poe barely remembered reaching the base. He barely remembered all the condolences he was given when he left his ship, walking in a daze to the lake that lay on the outskirts of the Rebel base.
Finn loved running laps around here.
He loved sitting under the tree and listening to the sound of nature... or maybe he found it easier to connect to the Force there.
Poe collapsed there, desperately pleading for a sign that Finn was still there.
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Almost the entire base turned up for the funeral, and there didn’t seem to be a dry eye in the room... well, aside from Poe’s.
He felt like he’d completely run out of tears.
And yet, nobody knew what to say… because nobody really knew him.
They didn’t see his tenacity.
They didn’t know how much of a good friend he was, how he was always there for Poe, no matter what.
What a good protector he was, how he fought for the weak. Yes, he may have started out his journey being completely terrified of the First Order, wanting nothing more than to run… but that wasn’t his whole story.
He saw beyond the persona Poe put up in front of others. He saw Poe’s insecurity and reassured him through difficult moments. He never judged anyone’s past, not when so many judged him on his.
“Poe?”
Startled, Poe looked up to see General Organa giving him a soft look.
“Do you want to say anything?”
For a moment, Poe stared at her, before nodding softly and getting to his feet, heading to the front of the small service.
“I… “He was a little ashamed at how his voice wobbled slightly, but persevered, “… I felt like I knew Finn like the back of my hand. We found each other during one of the worst times in this war...maybe that’s how we got so close so quickly. I didn’t know what I was missing in my life until he came into it and... I can’t believe he’s gone.”
He blinked back tears that he didn’t know he still had within him.
“He meant so much to me, and now he’s gone.” his voice broke slightly, “Like, there’s a Finn-shaped hole in my heart…. But I will always remember his smile and the sound of his laugh.”
Could anyone see the way his fists clenched.
“It should have been me.” The tears were now freely falling down his cheeks, “He’s gone, and now I don’t know who I am anymore.” His voice broke again, and everyone carefully averted their gazes, silently respectful of his grief.
Once he regained his self-control, he managed his final part of the speech, “Goodbye for now Finn… and may the Force be with you.”
“May the Force be with you.” The crowd echoed the words back, and Poe felt a little bit lighter.
‘I love you Finn’ He thought silently to himself, hoping that that breeze was his reply.