Archive of Our Own

"It's for the best."

It is true. It is for the best. They tried, but it seems that fate or destiny or whatever is there didn't want them together. Venti is going to chase his dreams, Xiao can’t follow him, and both know that a long-distance relationship isn't going to work. That kind of relationship never works, Venti says to himself.

"You're right."

Yes, he is indeed right. Venti smiles, painfully, and without another word, he sees him leaving the park, only covering himself from the rain with his hood and leaving Venti his umbrella.

It is for the best. He wants it, he said it, he believes in his words.

Then, why is he crying?

When he wakes up, he is still crying. Venti looks at the roof with his tears still falling from his face. Two years have passed, and it seems that these kinds of bad dreams are still haunting him down. Could it be because he had returned to his city after all that time? Is it guilty? Regrets? He doesn’t know why he still dreams about that day, but he guesses there is nothing he can do. Someday, they would disappear.

"Venti! Are you awake?" Zhongli's voice sounds behind the door. "It's late, you have the audition, remember?"

"Yes!" Venti removes his tears with a hand. "I'm dressing."

He escapes from his bed, resisting the temptation of sleeping a little more, and grabs his clothes previously put in a chair, dressing quickly and coming out of his bedroom because of the delicious smell of his roommate's breakfast.

"Ah, pancakes! You know how to make my day happier."

"You are happy if it's sweet, you're like a kid." He gives him a little smile, putting the plate in the bar. "Tell me you don't think about going there with that hair."

"I'm sorry for not waking up like an angel" He laughs. "When I go to the bathroom, I'll make it up."

"Your fans would be disappointed if they knew you woke up like this." Zhongli sighs.

"You're my biggest fan, you love me in all my forms"

"I have to, or else our coexistence would be hell."

"Sure, sure, you know I'm the best roommate you would ever find."

"Actually, I'm pretty sure that..."

"Guizhong doesn't count. She's like your sister."

"But still she would be the best. She at least eats like a normal person, not like a monster like you. You have eaten a quarter, already.”

"And that's because you're distracting me." Venti winks, and Zhongli shakes his head.

"I can't believe you. Anyways, how are you feeling about the audition? Are you nervous?"

"Do you think I am?"

"Venti, I'm serious."

"Well, I'm not. It's only a try out, and if they want a singer, then I'm their best option."

"Actually, they're searching for a main singer and a guitarist. They had a break with their previous ones."

"But they founded one recently.” Zhongli looks at him with curiosity. “So they’re only searching for a singer… The previous ones were related, I think?”

"Well, from what I know, they were like sisters. I heard they wanted to go solo as a duo. But I don’t know too much, I only know them because of Lumine’s brother."

"Even if that's pretty normal..." He chews, and then continues. "is also pretty difficult, if you ask me."

Venti had gone solo, and it was not easy, even if he could play a long list of instruments. Duos are better, but it is not like a band. That's why, even if he had a good reputation as a solo singer, he wants to join a band, and enjoy the feeling of singing with more than the few instruments he can play alone. Making one from the beginning would be too difficult, but it is also joining one already formed. The good point with this band is that he won't be the only one who is new, since there is already another vacancy recently covered.

"Anyways, it's better if I start making up my hair, right?" He stands up, the plate now empty.

"I don't understand how you eat so fast." Zhongli sighs again while Venti puts his empty plate inside the sink.

"Well, it's practice." He laughs, going to the bathroom while Zhongli is still half of his tea.

When he sees himself in the mirror, he notices that his green dye has faded. He knew he would have to dye it again, but he didn't think that would be that soon. Maybe he has to try going to a hair salon, or using another product. Nevertheless, he does his usual braids, not wanting to make a complicated hairstyle when he is running out of time and when he finishes, he looks at the mirror again-

Suddenly, behind him appears Xiao, smiling like… Like before.

His heart makes a flip, but when he turns around, there is no one.

“Venti, you’re running out of time!” Zhongli says, just in time.

Maybe his return is making him see things where they aren’t. Yes. It has to be that. Venti smiles for himself. It’s going to be okay, this day will be his best day ever.

He says goodbye to Zhongli and runs to pick up the bus. He is supposed to be there half past eleven and it’s already twenty. He curses on Zhongli, always having reason. By the time he gets off the bus, it is already quarter to twelve. He runs to the local where he has the try-out, feeling how the air is lacking when he reaches the door and opens it with force.

“I’m sorry!” He apologizes, and three gazes look at him, surprised.

“Don’t worry.” A blonde guy says, smiling. “Are you Venti? We have heard great things about you.”

“You have a pretty good curriculum, I must say.” A woman of blue eyes talks, and he recognizes her voice for having heard it through the phone. He assumes she’s the manager. “I was impressed by that... Venti, right?”

“Yeah” He smiles, recovering his air. “The one and only.”

“Then,” a calm voice from a guy with white hair and red eyes sounds. “You can start whenever you want.” Venti nods and he puts himself behind the micro. He inhales and closes his eyes. All he’s doing, all he has done, is for a cause. His cause.

“I feel like your voice has saved me multiple times, and I just heard you once.”

Why is he remembering everything now? Today out of all days? He should be over it, he has passed the regrets, the memories are just that but… Whenever he is about to sing, he always remembers his words, as they were the main reason of his career as a singer.

And that, he, is impossible to forget.

He feels his voice deeper than it really is, something that happens more than he would like to, and even when he tried to make it higher, it was impossible for him. Venti wasn’t satisfied at the end of the song, but the three judges before him seemed to be impressed.

“He’s better than in videos!” The blonde boy applauds. “I loved it!”

“I agree” The red eyed boy says, and both look at the only woman.

“I agree as well, then you’re in right now if you want it, Venti.”

“Already?” Venti blinks, surprised. “I thought it was going to take time.”

“Please accept, I’m tired of hearing audition after audition.” The manager looks at the blonde with a gaze of reprobation. “He’s the most outstanding, Jean! Even you know we won’t find anyone better.”

“Aether, we have to keep…”

“Even Kazuha agrees with me.” The mentioned nods, an apologizing smile on his face. “And we already have a pretty good guitarist. He’s the only one missing”

Venti laughs.

“If he accepts, of course.” The three look at him.

“I would be a fool if I don’t accept, right?”

“Perfect.” Jean says. “Then you have to sign a contract, make sure you agree with the terms and conditions before signing, okay? We don’t want any problems for that reason.”

Venti nods and he follows her to another room, where there is a small office and over there some papers. She gives them to him and he reads the conditions. They're not particular for him, of course, but some generic and a formalism itself. But Venti knows by experience he should read everything in them, and he won't fall again over the same stone.

The conditions are not bad. Two years of permanence, the hours he should practice, the availability to travel, the payment (generous, he should say), the penalty for the breach of the contract… He doesn't see anything wrong, then he signs where he's asked.

"Perfect. I will give you a copy as soon as possible."

Venti agrees.

“And the name of the band is…?” He hasn’t seen it in the papers, just some generic reference.

“We have still to decide, as the previous one doesn’t fit with two new members, don’t you think?” Venti laughs and nods. “So we will decide when the four of you are reunited. Our guitarist couldn’t come today for the auditions, but he said he believed in our criteria. Nevertheless, I will call him and he will surely be here to meet you and the rest for you to decide the name as soon as possible and eat lunch, if you have time of course.”

“Oh, no problems.”

“Then I have to make some calls, you can go back and meet your new partners” She smiles.

“Thank you, miss.”

“You can call me Jean, it’s okay.” Jean smiles.

Venti gives her a smile back and meets again the two boys who were talking excitedly, even if it seemed to be one sided from Aether.

“Zhongli is the best, he practically saved us. I owe Lumine a dinner”

“You do. After all, we have a guitarist and a singer just for him.”

“Are you talking about that rockhead?” Venti intervenes, smiling. “I hate to admit it, but I owe him one too!” Both laugh at the comment.

“I forgot to present myself!” Aether says, even if he already knows his name because of their previous conversation. “I’m Aether, I’m the drummer! A pleasure to work with you!”

“I’m Kazuha.” The other says, a light smile on his face. “I play the keyboard, I do hope to get along with you.”

“Sure, sure! You don’t have to be that formal! What about going after some practices to a bar and sharing a few drinks?”

“Sounds good to me” Kazuha agrees, but Aether has an uncomfortable smile.

“I don’t drink…”

“Then you can have a soda or something like that!” Venti says. “And I don’t know if our guitarist drinks…”

“I don’t see Xiao drinking alcohol, not gonna lie.” Aether says, laughing softly, but Venti's smile vaporized when he heard the name.

“Is something wrong?” Kazuha asks, feeling the change.

Venti doesn’t reply immediately. He is assuming things. He could have heard wrong. And he is not the only one with that name, right? There are plenty of Xiaos who play the guitar out there, right? Zhongli was the one who told him to join the band, he should have known if Xiao is in, and if he knew he would never have told him anything. Zhongli knows how much it hurts. He wouldn’t…

“Venti? Are you okay?” Aether puts a hand over his shoulder.

“Yes, yes, just… What’s the name of the guitarist, again?”

“Xiao, you mean?” Kazuha replies, worried too about him. “If you want to meet him, you won’t have to wait too long, I heard Jean calling him before and…”

“I heard you already have a new singer, so it better has to be definitive because I am already tired of searching…” Venti turns to the same door he used to enter in a rush before, and he meets a pair of golden eyes he hasn’t been able to forget.

Xiao freezes in the place, and Venti can see his hair, somewhat longer than years ago. His face hasn’t changed at all, if something he would say he’s more handsome than the last time he has seen him. His eyes have that light he always loved, his lips are slightly open, almost like when he wanted to kiss him before, and Venti always conceded. Because he would have done everything for him, everything less renouncing his dream.

A dream that became a nightmare.

“Venti…” He says, in a low voice that probably no one wouldn’t have heard if the room wasn’t so silent.

Venti wanted to do many things. To run and hold him, and apologize and tell him he was wrong, that those years without him were a hell and that he lies to himself every day, every night, and he’s not over him. He wants to escape, like he always does when things get complicated, because he doesn’t know what to do when he gets compromised. He wants to cry and tell him he loves him, even if he knows Xiao doesn’t deserve that and he should let him live his life without him in the picture, because he has already done too much harm.

He wanted to do many things, but he instead is frozen in place, almost trembling and fearing he would break in pieces at any moment.

“Mmm… I don’t really understand what’s happening but…” Aether breaks the silence. “You seem to know each other…”

Xiao doesn’t reply. He is still looking at him as if he was a sort of illusion. Like the first time they met, both fifteen years old, Venti playing the flute for no one more than himself in the lone, dark park, past midnight while Xiao was hearing from afar, not knowing he already noticed his presence. Their worlds collided like meteors, they learnt they had more connections than they had thought, they passed many things together, they played together, they fell in love and…

And then Venti chose to separate them, because he thought he knew better.

I’m sorry, Xiao. I’m so, so sorry…

He doesn’t know if Xiao read the words in his eyes or simply he didn’t want to look at him, but anyways he looked away and Venti was just able to smile and look to the floor.

“Guys, we can now go to Wanmin…” Jean breaks into the room and the four of them look at her. “...Do I interrupt something?”

“No, no!” Aether says immediately. “You’re just in time! Xiao has just arrived and we were presenting him to Venti!”

“You can say that, yes.” Kazuha sighs, crossing his arms. “Well, why don’t we go to Wanmin then, as you said? I heard today Xiangling is in her turn.”

Jean looks at Venti and Xiao, but neither of them say anything. Confused, she nods, and they go out together.

On the way, Venti distracts himself by talking with Kazuha, who seems to like poetry and makes some songwriting for himself. He doesn’t stop talking, and fortunately, Kazuha doesn’t mention Xiao, who is in silence behind them but Venti can feel his gaze over him and tries not to turn his head and tell him something.

He doesn’t have the right to tell him anything, and Xiao doesn’t seem in the mood of talking with him.

“So, you like sake?” Venti asks, and Kazuha nods. “I tasted it once, in one of my tours, and I surely prefer Dandelion Wine. You can tell I'm so homesick.”

“Dandelion Wine, uh? I’m pretty sure Wanmin has been making additions since the last time I talked with Xiangling. She’s one to make innovations, and me being a foreigner sure excited her.”

“I have been in Wanmin enough to know that.” Venti laughs. “Thanks to whom do you think they have business with Mondstadt?”

“Oh, then you're the so-called connection with Wanmin and Dawn Winery?” Aether intervenes.

“Master Diluc is a good friend of mine.” Venti smiles. “He likes my singing in his bar, but it’s hard to make him give me free alcohol.”

“Oh, Lumine and I met him once.”

“Lumine?” Venti asks. “Her name…”

“Do you know her? She’s a model, but also a singer. And my sister.”

“Of course I know her! She’s pretty popular, and now I see you better, you look so much like her!”

“Well, we are twins.” Aether laughs.

“It makes sense then.”

He looks at the sky, not wanting to look behind. Even when he is laughing with them, he can’t forget Xiao is right in his back. He hears him talking with Jean about something he doesn’t manage to understand, but he doesn’t really care. Xiao is there, he’s at his reach, not like in his dreams. He is there, he’s real, and he probably doesn’t want him to come near him. Not like before, that’s for sure.

“Venti, careful!”

He hears the calling of Aether and looks again to the front. One of his feet is already on the pavement and the traffic light is red for peasants. He hears a car running and he looks at it, and then he feels his arm being pulled to the sidewalk.

He falls back on the ground because of the sudden strength and then he looks up. Xiao is looking at him with his beautiful eyes and the expression he uses when he doesn’t want the rest to know what he’s thinking. His hand is still grabbing his arm, supporting it to not fall. Venti feels his cheeks blushing, but he says nothing and Xiao neither. Both look away and Venti says nothing when Xiao leaves his arm, accepting the help from Aether.

“Are you okay? You should be more careful!” Jean says, more like a worried mother than actually anger. “Thanks to the Archons, Xiao has such good reflexes.”

Venti knows. Xiao was the one who avoided him from falling multiple times, he once caught one of Zhongli's luxurious vases he kicked by accident, preventing it from breaking. He has always been so athletic and fast, and Venti used to make fun of it.

If I don't care about falling, because I'm sure you will catch me, Xiao! You always do.

And he was right until he decided to leave, and when he fell again, Xiao was too far away to hold him back.

"I'm okay. Thank you." He says, not knowing if it reaches his ears. Jean is the one who nods, and they continue their way.

Wanmin Restaurant is pretty popular in Liyue, and Venti has gone there multiple times, but even with all the changes Xiangling always does, it maintains the same atmosphere as he remembers.

"Hi! A table for five!" Aether says to the chef who, even being the one in charge of the kitchen, is in the salon with the clients.

"This way!"

They follow Xiangling to a round table already prepared, and Venti makes sure he ends up on the opposite side of Xiao. It would be too awkward to be at his side, and he knows that, but he didn't think it would be worse to have to look at him at any time he raises his head.

"Well, now we are here reunited." Jean says after leaving on Xiangling criteria for their lunch. "You should decide the name of the band."

"Hm, certainly it can't be long." Kazuha says, putting his hands crossed over the table. "And it should represent our music."

"Since you're the songwriter along with Venti, you two should decide in my opinion" Aether says. "Also I'm not very good at names…"

"I don't really care." Xiao says, looking at the window.

Venti gives it some thought hearing Kazuha's proposals, Aether's opinions and Jean's suggestions while she plays with a pen and writes down the ideas on a little notebook. It should represent the band and based on the kind of songs Kazuha and he will compose. Also ideals, reasons to sing…

"Can I?" Venti says after a while, asking for the notebook Jean has in hands.

"Yes, of course."

She gives him both and he writes down his idea.

"What do you think about this?"

4NEMO

That's what he wrote.

"It has some catch but why?" Aether asks.

"Well, in the band we are four but aside from that, it's a words' game. If you read it, you'll pronounce 'for nemo', and 'nemo' in Latin means 'nobody'. I think our song should be for those who feel that they're nobody and they don't matter, and make them see they do have importance, even if they don't think so." Venti explains, with a sad smile. "Personally, I started to sing to no one but myself, because I thought nobody would want to hear my songs. But then someone heard me, and everything changed at that moment."

He can't help but look at Xiao, who is already with his eyes fixed on him. He knows the story, he was the main protagonist of it. Xiao changed his life, and Venti changed his too.

And then, he broke everything.

"I like the idea." Aether says, smiling.

"Me too." Kazuha agrees.

Xiao looks away again, but he nods. Venti looks at Jean, who is pensative.

"I think it's a great idea, and if everyone likes it, then this will be the name." She says finally.

Just in time, the food arrives and Aether and Jean talk with Xiao about his food while Venti makes Kazuha taste his wine and talk with him about poems.

Xiao doesn't look at him in all the meal, and neither does Venti. He doesn't deserve to be angry at him.

And he will find a way to get out of the situation with the least harm possible.

“Venti! It was amazing!” His blue eyes looked at him, shining with passion. It was incredible how similar they were. Venti would have swore he was his brother and they don’t have any connection.

At least not one they knew. He was an orphan, not any parent nor help. He was on his own, just himself and his songs, until he met the director of the company and discovered the great talent the boy has to write.

Not that they let him take all the credits. No one knew his name, aside from him.

“It was all your doing. Your lyrics are always so brilliant…”

“I wish I could sing too…” He sighs. “But no one in this place gives me any second thought. Not that I’m surprised though…”

“If you want to, I have already accepted to sing with you. You’re my best friend, and this is not fair.”

“I don’t want you to lose your position, Venti.” He smiles. “This is your dream. You have given too much for this.”

Yes, it is. But this is not the dream he dreamt. In his dream, Xiao was by his side, playing the guitar like all those nights alone in the residence of the university. All those days he was down and Xiao would play some tunes to make him sing, because he knew he can’t express his feelings only with words, he needed music.

In his dream, everyone was happy. This wasn’t supposed to be something to take things out of his life, but to add.

“I’m starting to think this isn’t what I dreamt…” Venti says, and his friend smiles resigned. “I am glad to have met you, and Amos also, but I think that… That I’m only giving you problems.”

“On the contrary! You heard me for the first time aside from Amos. You want to do something, Venti, and I’m thankful for that.”

He wanted to do something. Heh. And what was that for, if he wasn’t there anymore? If he was just there, five feet under soil, dead, without anyone who recognizes him in the songs he composed and Venti sang for him, in those songs both of them worked until late nights but only Venti reached to sing. He wanted more, Venti wanted more, and then their dreams were crushed into a million pieces.

Everyone loves Venti, but they don’t know his songs are not his songs. Not all of them, not parts of them. No one knows, because they didn’t let him tell them and now, even if he says it out loud, no one hears. No one hears because they don’t care, and the name of the real author will be forgotten while his gets more and more popular.

He can’t help but to feel he’s an imposter.

“Venti? Venti, I swear I didn’t know about Xiao…”

Venti doesn’t know how long Zhongli has been calling at his door. After lunch, without a heart to face Xiao more time, he excused himself and ran away. His legs ached, but he didn’t stop running, because he felt Xiao’s gaze behind him, he felt the regrets in his heart, those that he can’t fix with a song. He has hurted Xiao, he has chosen it and now he can’t pretend nothing happened. Xiao neither, even if he tries to. He can’t pretend he doesn’t know him, the person who loved him and then decided to pursue a dream without knowing it would be a nightmare.

He was so naive.

So when he arrived home, he had so many feelings that he unleashed them in the first person he saw, and it was Zhongli for his misfortune. He told him a liar, he told him he was the worst friend ever and that he didn’t know why he betrayed him like that. Zhongli looked at him with those confused golden eyes, so similar to Xiao’s ones that he couldn’t bear to look at him and stormed out to his bedroom.

After that, he guesses he fell asleep.

“Venti, please, open the door…” Zhongli sighs.

He knows Zhongli doesn’t deserve that treatment. Venti knows him, he is unable to lie even to a kid, he wouldn’t have done everything just to hurt them, him and Xiao. He knows more than that, and also he sounded so sincere.

So he opened the door and let Zhongli enter. Zhongli looked at him with a small smile and Venti sat down on his bed, hugging his blue dragon plushie.

“You still have it?” Zhongli asks, pointing out the plushie.

“Dvalin? Yes, he’s my partner…” He smiles. Xiao got it for him in one of those machines, and since then he kept it like a treasure.

“When I said I didn’t know Xiao…”

“I know, don’t worry. I owe you an apology.” Venti sighs. “I shouldn’t have treated you like that, sorry.”

“Don’t worry. After that, I called Lumine who didn’t know what I was talking about and then she called his brother. It seems that Xiao is also a new member. I remember telling him that joining a band would be a good idea to… Well, for him. But I didn’t expect he would accept and even join exactly that particular one and…”

“Now, now, I understand, old man.” Venti laughs. “I signed a contract, and I don’t think I would be able to get out of it…”

“If you give it to me I can see but…” Venti reaches his bedside table, grabbing the papers Jean gave him before his escape, and hands them to Zhongli. After giving them a quick look, he made a face Venti didn’t like. “I guessed this so far. This is perfectly legal and makes you have to spend at least two years with them or you’ll have to pay a not so affordable penalty… Yanfei seems to be behind this, it’s her style.”

“Perfect.” He sighs. “There's nothing I can do, so I have to accept that…”

That I will see Xiao everyday.

“Venti?”

That I will be near him. I will be able to see him playing the guitar. I will sing with him by my side, in my back, following his tunes.

“Hey, Venti, do you hear me?”

And I won’t be able to touch him. To hug him. To kiss him until my lungs scream for air.

“Are you crying?”

Because I don’t deserve him.

“Venti, calm down. Tell me something, come on…”

I never deserved him.

“Venti!”

Zhongli shakes him stronger than before, and Venti finally sees his eyes. Not Xiao’s ones, looking at him in disappointment, hurt, while he steps back.

It’s for the best.

He has said it. He had believed it. He wanted to believe it.

“I’m sorry…” He says, but not to the person he wanted to hear those words.

“I know, calm down. I know this is difficult for you, but…” Zhongli sighs. He maintains his hands over his shoulders, like a worried older brother, and Venti is thankful for it.

But no, he doesn’t know. Zhongli is perfect, he has always been. He had always his ideas organized, he has always been an example. Venti has been always reckless, always wanting more, always dreaming for the impossible. They are like white and black.

Zhongli would have never done the harm he had done to Xiao.

“I’m okay, I just…”

“I don’t know what led you to come back.” Zhongli states. “But you don’t have to blame yourself that hard… Everyone makes mistakes.”

Everyone makes mistakes. But they regret them, and Venti doesn’t. He would have done it again, because he never liked to feel restrained, he always wanted to see the world, to sing, to pursue his dreams and see where they could take him. He knows that, if asked to his past self, he would be convinced it was for the best.

Even if it hurts. Even if it breaks his heart. But he is that egoistic and breaks Xiao’s heart in the process. And Xiao didn’t deserve it. Xiao just loved him like no one else, and Venti was unable to give back that love. Venti was the mistake in Xiao’s life.

And not only in his life.

“Venti, you’re doing it again. Stop blaming yourself. You're human, you are allowed to be wrong.” Zhongli says, but Venti can’t believe him. Even if he wants to. “But you won’t hear me, right?"

Venti smiles. He has never been good at hearing.

"At least you smiled." He calms a bit. "I'm going to make tea for you. Don't you dare to move or I'll make sure you regret it."

"You? Old man who can't barely move out of his bed?" Venti laughs.

"Don't push your luck." Even if he says it with a tone that pretends to be serious, he smiles and goes out.

Venti laughs again, and when the door closes, he feels his smile fading. He closes his eyes. It's nothing more he can do, just carry on… and pretend not to be affected.

It's easier said than done.

Those words followed him from the first day Xiao and he broke up. Saying he will be okay, saying he will be over it, lying to himself is easy. When it comes to reality, it's more difficult.

Three weeks have passed by since the contract. Aether is lovely, and Jean is strict but kind. Her assistant, Sucrose, is a sweet girl too shy for her own good, but everyone supports her. Kazuha is a good person, but also has that feeling of mystery around him, like he hides something deep inside, and also he goes before everyone home, like a clock. And Xiao… Xiao is the same as he remembers, but more open than before. He sees him interacting with Aether and he is less reserved, more used to social interaction. He's no longer the kid who hid before Zhongli, not that boy who was afraid to touch him because he didn't want to bother or hurt him.

He has grown up, and Venti also has. While Xiao discovered not everyone will hurt him and he won't hurt everyone, Venti learned not everything is as white and pure as he thought back then. That there are people who aren't kind, that they think just for their own good.

The only thing that hasn't changed is their love for music.

Singing in a scenario isn't something he's not used to. He has been around Teyvat, and joining a local band is such a surprise for everyone. Still, it creates expectations on him and on the rest of the band itself, and Aether is starting to show some signals of falling down under the pressure of the debut. Xiao was the first to notice, but as he doesn't know how to handle those situations well, he told both of them.

"You will be okay." Kazuha said, doing Aether's braid while Venti adjusted some strings of the guitar at their side. "It's not easy for anyone, but we'll be okay, right Venti?"

He lifts his head in his direction and nods.

"At the beginning, I was scared too. But… you get used to it. And it's fun! You enjoy it and forget all the fears you had before."

Aether smiles.

"I can't imagine you having fear in any case."

"Oh, you didn't see me when I'm seeing a scary movie. I fear my own shadow. Xiao used to…" He shuts up, remembering he shouldn't talk about it. It's better if they don't know about their relationship… "It doesn't matter."

Kazuha finishes his job, whispers something in the drummer's ear and stands up, while Venti focuses on one particular string that doesn't sound well and he doesn't know why.

"Venti, can you come with me for a second?"

Venti nods and they go to the small break room they have. Kazuha picked the teapot and started serving the recently made tea by Jean on the mugs there.

"You see, we have known since the first day that Xiao and you have some kind of past together that no one of you wants to talk about, and it's okay." Kazuha sighs. "But you also seem to not be okay with the silence, and even as I assumed you had some broken friendship, now I think that is more than that… and that it hurts both of you, even if Xiao pretends to not care."

Venti sits down while Kazuha serves the mug in front of him, smiling.

"We are not going to judge you. We only want you to be okay, I consider you my friend and Aether too, and he is not only stressed, but also worried about your tension these past weeks."

Not that he is surprised. Xiao and him made a tacit agreement where none of them talk with the other unless it is strictly necessary. There are times that Venti wants to break it, but just when he's about to raise his hand and touch his shoulder, he regrets everything and doesn't do anything. Because he tried once to change what was established, and it went wrong.

Now, he is afraid he will fail again, and destroy the little times they had. Shared gazes, silent times where they were alone and, even if they didn't talk, Venti could feel his presence there and it reminded him of old and better times where they didn't need words to be comfortable. Venti composed songs while Xiao played some notes and fixed the strings.

When things were easy. When both of them dreamed together.

"I know… I know it's hard. To leave someone you love."

Kazuha's words surprise him, and lifts his gaze from the tea to him, looking with curiosity.

"How do you know…?" He leaves the question in the air, and Kazuha just grimaces.

"I saw that expression before. In a mirror." He says, and takes a seat by his side. "I didn't know what to do, I had too many regrets and I just wanted to go back in time."

That is. He just wants to go back. Back to the start…

"That is why I know what I'm talking about, and why I think you should talk with Xiao. He… he seems to have some things to say too, and you're lucky, you know? He… he is still with you."

Venti can see the sadness in his red eyes. Venti himself had that look before. And he knew he didn’t want to have it again, less for Xiao. If Xiao… The memory of red blood and a pair of eyes without light made him shiver again. Only to think that Xiao could have the same expression makes his heart break.

“I’m sorry, this isn’t about…” Kazuha says, smiling, but Venti puts a hand on his shoulder.

“Don’t be, I know how it feels. I lost someone dear to me once.”

“It’s not… It’s not like he is…” He can’t say it. Venti doesn’t judge it. “He is… alive. Barely… I don’t know when he will wake up again.”

Kazuha hides his face in his hands, and Venti now understands the reason for him going out before everyone else... To match the visit times of the hospital. He doesn’t know what’s worse, to never see that person again or to know that your hopes can be broken in a second.

“How long?”

“It’s going to be five months with this one…”

He passes an arm around his shoulders. He can’t say everything is going to be okay, he can’t lie to Kazuha and he knows how those words hurt and how one can hate when hearing such words.

“If you want to tell someone, I’m here.” Venti says, and Kazuha smiles at him, putting his hands down.

“Thank you.” Kazuha says, and looks at the ceiling. “Actually, it’s… a long story.”

“I’m all ears."

Venti has never been afraid of the public. He has always liked being the center of attention, to feel all eyes on him and knowing they are listening just to him.

The scenery is part of him. Like he was born to be on it, he absolutely loves singing for the people. Music is a language he always controlled better than his own one. He has always been better at expressing with songs and poetry.

But this time, he's not expressing his own feelings, but Kazuha ones. Venti realized both of them have that in common, they're better with poetry than speaking directly. After hearing his story, the least he could do is make a song dedicated to it. When he knew that, Kazuha thanked and hugged him.

No one of the rest knows about it. Not because Kazuha doesn't trust them, but he didn't feel like talking about it. Venti didn't push him either.

"Thank you for coming!" Venti says, and he sees flashlights of phones rising. "We are 4NEMO and we want to thank everyone for coming and the organization of the festival to let us sing here! We hope you enjoy it!"

Xiao starts to play the guitar, and he can hear the trembling hands of Aether in the battery. Kazuha starts playing the keyboard, and Venti takes a deep breath while closing his eyes.

This one's for Kazuha, but also for himself.

"Can light... Break this greyish haze and melt away… the snow that freezes over every day?"

"Do you really have to do it?"

Kazuha has always known Tomo is uncontrollable, like a lightning in the sky no one knows where it will fall.

"This is my dream, Kazuha." He says as he adjusts the bandages in his hand. "I dreamed about this since I started fighting."

Kazuha knows. They have been together since they were kids. Kazuha has seen him training every day, getting exhausted, getting hurt. Kazuha has healed every wound, Tomo has smiled at every word of worry and told him he will be okay. He started wrestling at a young age, for money, and then he raised until being one of the best in Inazuma.

"Hey, so won't you tell me what to do before I lose myself, holding on to you?"

"I know that, but… you don't have to demonstrate anything. You already have enough recognition and…"

Raiden Ei was famous for not having mercy on her opponents. Kazuha has heard everything about her, and the worrying facts that many of them have been unable to fight again are not good for calming him, even if Tomo insists.

They call her the eternal champion for a reason.

"Kazuha, I have to do it. I can't leave the fight just like that."

"But…"

"It's the final, Kazu. I have to. It's my chance, it's my moment to demonstrate she's not invencible and…"

"You have demonstrated so much, Tomo, and you don't have to…"

"Do you trust me?" Kazuha blinks.

"Of course I trust you, but I know this is just too much and even if it's the final you don't have to…" He shuts at Tomo's touch on his cheek.

"Then, if you trust me, let me do this."

"I can't, I can't leave you to do this and not feel like… like…"

"I know you're worried, but I believe in my own capacities."

"And so I do but... I would prefer it if you don't risk yourself more…" He lowers his gaze.

"I can't let this, Kazuha. You and I are not the same. I'm an orphan, I always lived like this."

He knows. Kazuha has had a good house, a ceiling above his head while in his house street, Tomo was surviving along with other kids in a poor orphanage.

They have known each other since they were kids, but Tomo never let him help. He raised being alone and protecting others, and he didn’t seem to want to change that.

When he had to leave the orphanage, he involved himself in the world of street fighting before wrestling to earn his bread. He escalated quickly, and now here he is, in the final of a recognized competition where everything can happen and everyone supports the five times winner and not a newcomer with good luck.

If Tomo wins, with the amount of bets against him, he would be priceless.

If Tomo loses… It would be expected, but Kazuha doesn’t care about what others think, not even how bad Tomo would be. Ego and dreams can be repaired, he would be with him in any case, everything can be repaired as long as he is alive.

What can't be repaired is death.

“You worry too much.” Tomo says, trying to reach his face, and Kazuha breaks.

“It wouldn’t be the first time you end up in a hospital, for archons' sake!” He screams, slapping his hand. “I just don’t want to pass another day thinking if you’re going to wake up!”

“And I can’t let this chance pass!” He stands up. “Listen, this is not just for me, it’s for the orphanage! If I win, I’ll have enough money to give those children a better life!”

“And if you lose, you can die and you won’t help anyone!”

They both fall into silence. He looks into his violet eyes. Like thunder, they shine. Like lightning, that brightness can be ephemeral.

“It’s a risk worth taking.”

Like a breeze before the hurricane, Kazuha storms out of the gym.

"If all of you is all I have… I'm holding nothing in my hands. I reminisce on broken strings your fall into eternity"

Kazuha doesn’t know why he’s there, in that giant stadium, when the last thing he wants to see is how Tomo is beaten. He wishes he has more confidence in his best friend, but he has seen his opponent, and she’s just too good.

“Have you heard? The newcomer against the eternal winner, I can’t wait to see that poor guy in a hospital bed.”

“He’s crazy if he thinks he would beat Raiden in her own field.”

“He's a dead man.”

Kazuha wants to tell them to shut up. That they don’t know how hard Tomo has fought. But he can’t, because he thinks like them and it makes him feel like a traitor. What kind of friend doesn't believe in his friend’s abilities?

He sneaks out to the changing room, and in his way he goes through a woman with long, purple hair which looks at him almost innocently while she’s in company of a pink haired woman, who smiles at him like a fox.

The eternal champion and her manager. They probably don’t know about his existence, but Kazuha is fine with that. He doesn’t care, he’s there only for one person.

“So, you finally came…” Tomo smiles at him as he puts on his head guard. “I’m happy to see you, you know, last time…”

He moves closer and puts his hands over his shoulders.

“Just win.” Kazuha says, trying his best to smile. “And if you can’t, don’t over exceed yourself.”

“I’ll win.” Tomo dedicates to him that smile that he learnt to love. Confident. Assuring. “And I’ll come back to you. As always.”

Kazuha’s cheeks taint red.

“You better do it.”

Tomo laughs and goes to the door. Kazuha knows it’s already time for him to go, but before crossing the frame, he turns back and looks at him with tender eyes.

“Wait for me, will you?”

Kazuha’s heart skipped a beat.

“As always.”

“We’ve never been apart, I know, and now it ends with me alone. As I turn the final page, you go”

He sees it all.

The fight was short, but intense. Tomo gave everything he had, but his opponent was good both at resisting and counterattacking. Tomo is as fast as lightning, but she is lightning itself. A wrong step, a wrong move, and with a low punch Tomo is in the air. He feels his heart stopping and his lungs hurting as he screams his name.

He sees how he hits the metal bar of the ring. For some reason, the head guard is not protecting him. He’s only with the ear guard, and his neck is tainting red and…

In the end, he ends up in a hospital waiting room.

“You came with Sakurai Tomoharu, right?” A doctor says to him, and he nods as he stands up. “We were unable to contact his family, are you for any casual Kaedehara Kazuha?”

“Yes… I am.” He nods, surprised he knows his name.

“You’re the only one as his emergency contact. Are you familiar?”

“He's an orphan, I’m the most similar to that, yes.”

“Well then, you see… He’s not in a good state. He received two strong hits in a short period of time. For some reason, his head guard was badly secured and now…” The doctor sighs. “Well, we don’t know when he will wake up… If he does.”

His world falls apart with those three words.

If he does.

“He’s…?”

“He’s in a deep coma. It can last days, months or even years.” The doctor informs him. “I’m afraid to say this, but you’ll eventually have to choose between disconnecting him or maintaining him. I will inform you also about the cost of it, since you’re his only family.”

Disconnect him? He can’t… He can’t let them. Tomo can’t die. He told him to wait for him. He smiled, he…

He told him he would come back.

“I will assume the cost.” After all, doesn’t he have a legacy? “Please, don’t disconnect him.”

The doctor nods.

“Come with me. You can be with him for a while.”

Kazuha obeys.

“If all of you is all I’m left, I promise that I won’t forget. I’ll see you in the light of dawn, the day I’m finally moving on.”

It’s hard to see him like that. Like he’s broken, and he needs a thousand wires for his body to work.

There’s no one to blame. He can’t go against the winner and tell her she was too rude. It’s expected. It’s known. If anything, it’s his fault.

If he hadn’t gone to see him, maybe he would have put his head guard correctly. He distracted him, he didn’t notice and…

Now, there’s nothing he can do except for one last thing.

Keep him alive.

Kazuha takes out his phone and looks at the blank screen.

It would be hard to explain and most of all, to convince his parents. He doesn’t have any good relationship with them. Kazuha always liked poetry and music, his parents were more for science and they wanted him to continue the family tradition of being a mechanical engineer. They have an enterprise, and he is the only heir. He has always been reckless in that sense.

They disapproved of his friendship with Tomo. Tomo is an orphan after all. Not talking about any eventual relationship, no way. His family is too traditional in that sense, they won’t let him live out of it.

But he’s 21. He's still an university student, he won’t find any job soon and less one well-paid enough to cover up such fees. Therefore, he would have to quit his music degree for an engineering one. His actual scholarship will go to another student, he will have to return the money and hardly he will be able to ask for another when he’s renouncing to one.

He knows his dreams about having his degree, about keeping learning music, ends there.

There’s no choice.

“Mum?” He says when the line is connected. “I… have something to tell you.”

“There’s no goodbye for you and I. You’re somewhere watching at my side. You’re always here with me”

He leaves the microphone and lets the instrumental end. When the last string of Xiao’s guitar sounds, there’s a great silence and then an explosion of applause.

He thanks one last time and leaves the scenery along with his partners. Kazuha is looking to the ground, and Aether is with him, putting a hand on his shoulder. Venti walks faster and faster until he's almost running, feeling excited but with his heart in his throat. That song was meant to be for Kazuha, but in the end he ended up involved too.

"Something wrong, Venti?" Jean asks, but he smiles and shakes his head.

"No, I'm fine, I'm just… nervous, that's all."

He escaped from her gaze and closed himself into the changing room. He looks at himself in the mirror, and sees that he has a tear running down his face.

He's not okay, and Jean should have noticed, but she didn't come to ask him. Instead, another person comes.

“Are you okay?” Xiao’s voice is not helping, but he puts on his best smile and turns to face him.

“Yes. Just… I needed air.”

“I’m glad.”

Xiao looks at him without any other word, and Venti just knows he doesn’t believe him. Xiao could tell, he always could. He used to say that, when his flute sounds a bit lower than usual, it’s because he’s upset. Venti never heard the difference, but Xiao did. He always compensated that with his guitar, he used to say that it’s his way to comfort him, since neither of them are good with words. Xiao is bad at expressing feelings, and Venti is too good at talking to hide them, making rounds and rounds of words for no one to discover them.

This time, however, they don’t have any instruments and the previous melody is in the air.

Venti can’t stop thinking, his mind is a hurricane. Kazuha nearly lost the person he loved for his stubbornness, not far from Venti’s own. Which makes him different from Kazuha’s beloved? That he’s not in a hospital bed? He could have been, if tables would have turned in a different way. Kazuha is broken inside, even if he doesn’t show it, he doesn’t have more tears to express it, just a lost gaze and a wish that seems each day more and more unreachable. Xiao felt like that? When Venti decided it was for the better, when Xiao turned back under the rain, did he feel that way too?

Does he hate him, now, for coming unannounced again to his life?

“Xiao, I’m…”

“No need to.” He stops him, raising a hand. “What’s done, it’s done.”

“I didn’t intend to…” To reappear in his life again. To be the ghost of a story he probably wants to forget. “You know, be here. I didn’t know…”

“I didn’t either.” He sighs, crossing his arms and looking at the ceiling. “But there’s nothing we can do, and bringing the past won’t solve this either.”

“You’re right.” Venti smiles. He ignores the fact that his words hurt, he has no right to be the one hurting. “So, I guess we can be friends?”

“Sure.” He says, his words cutting like a knife. “After all, we’re partners.”

Someday, we will see the world together!

“Yes, we are.” Venti laughs, almost ironically, remembering his old dreams of fame and fortune.

None of them matter when you know you’re not doing things right, when you feel like a thief and you have to leave behind the people who have always been with you..

“Venti, that was amazing!” Aether interrupts, making Xiao move and bringing Kazuha with him. “Everyone loved it… Of course they do! I had my doubts when you just told us the rhythm without the lyrics but now I’m sure that, with this song, we’ll make it to the finals!”

“It’s still too soon to talk about finals, Aether, we’re not even in quarters.” Venti laughs, this time more relaxed. “This is an audition, we’ll need at least two more songs to keep passing and the best song for the final. It’s difficult, you know. There are professional songwriters out there, with many years and specialized technology with them.”

“I believe in you all.” Jean intervenes, smiling softly. “I’m sure that, together, we will make it.”

The four of them nod.

Surprisingly, Aether was right when he said they will pass to the finals.

Kazuha and Venti composed the quarters and semi finals songs, and Venti felt like home for the first time in years, in the basement of a little studio in the corner of a concurred street where they locked themselves to come with a song which instrumentals would be made from Xiao and Aether collaboration. Jean’s help was essential too, the poor woman was in charge of all the paperwork, the preparation of scenery, the register of songs, the social media… Fortunately, Sucrose was free from exams and helped her a lot, and team members too when they had a break. Anyways, he saw Jean’s eyebags increasing the more the finals were near.

Kazuha also leaves whenever he could to visit the hospital, with the blessing of the entire team. Aether covers his position along Xiao, or they record his part. But the boy was reluctant lately to leave them with the finals so near, so he asked a friend of his to be there in his place and alert him if something happens.

Everyone had high expectations in the final, for it will cover the battle between the solitary star Eula Lawrence, who belongs to a known discography that Venti knows too well, and their raising boy band, independent but with good music, enough to have jumped to the final of the tournament, majority for the public's vote.

Venti knows Eula's songs. He knows them all, because they were composed by someone that's not her. All those lyrics were written in a notebook his friend used to carry with himself every time, but the day of the accident he didn't have it.

But all he has are just guessings without any proof. An accident is an accident, and money in the right hands is more powerful than justice. He learned that in a bad way.

Maybe it hurts more to see Eula singing those songs and probably being unaware from where they proceed. Like him, she was probably promised a branding new opportunity she couldn't turn down.

"You're way too interested in her"

Xiao's voice alerts him, making him almost jump. That's another one: Xiao. He has serious problems seeing him each day and not having the urge to apologize and hug him, and kiss him until the air becomes necessary.

"Looking at other people's screens? Zhongli would be disappointed" He smiled, turning his head to look at him.

He has asked Jean for her computer in the office, so he didn't expect him. The desk with the computer does not face the door, so Xiao basically entered unexpectedly and in silence, like he always did back in the university.

"I was coming for you, you told me to ask you whenever I need help with some tunes for the new song." He looks to a point of the floor and crosses his arms. "I did not intend to... "

"I know, silly." Venti laughs. It's comfortable, to feel like nothing changed even if it's just for a second. "I was looking for her career."

She's younger than him. Maybe she's around Kazuha's age. He keeps scrolling in the blog. She comes from a family of prestigious opera singers. Maybe the fact one of their family members became a pop singer instead of an opera one it's a reason for shame to the family.

"Oh, so she was meant to be opera's singer." Xiao comments. "That explains her ability to reach such high notes."

"Yeah, her training was basically for that since she was a baby." Venti reads. "Wow, since she was three years old! How crazy, poor girl!"

For Venti, music was not imposed. Not much different from Kazuha's parents, he was told to study anything but music. Zhongli studied laws, Xiao was studying criminology, it was expected for Venti to study something like chemistry or biology. When he opted for a music degree, his parents were so disappointed, but because of his good grades he maintained a scholarship during all the degree along with a part time job and some economic help from Zhongli's part, he allowed himself to live in a residence.

The first year after his degree, after having organized so many concerts and festivals in those four years, he got a call who would change everything.

"Certainly, she excelled at opera singing but it seems she decided it was not for her." Xiao puts his hands on Venti's shoulders, leading forward to see the screen, and Venti's heart rushes.

"Well… She's not a bad singer, we know that, hehe." Venti laughs, trying to compensate for his cardiac rhythm.

"I think you can beat her easily." Xiao says, confident, and Venti lowers his gaze.

"You sound far confident!"

"I only tell the truth. She has pretty good songs but you too, and also you have a nicer voice."

Xiao has always been like that. He was incredibly good at making you feel like the best person in the world with total sincerity.

He can feel his eyes looking at him, like he didn't make him feel the happiest person alive, and Venti almost breaks the mouse because of the force he's applying to hold it. He doesn't separate his eyes from the screen, reaching the end of the article with the achievements of the young girl in the music world.

There's silence. It feels eternal, but just when the reflection of Xiao on the screen seems to want to say something, the silence breaks.

"Have you ended, Ven…?" Jean appears in the door, but she stops almost immediately there while both jump in surprise. Xiao retrocedes almost two meters. "Oh, sorry for interrupting…"

"No, no, you're not interrupting!" Venti says, making the chair spin to face her. "I'm already finished! Please, go ahead!"

And like that, he escaped from the room.

He keeps escaping from the past, but how long would it take until it catches him up?

The scenery glows. It vibrates with people screamings and lightsticks. It’s the final, after all, and each person coming there has one out of two reasons: either they stan Eula Lawrence or they’re with 4NEMO group.

Venti can’t say he’s not nervous. Even after having performed hundreds of times on a scenery, he still feels the nervousness, the chill down his spine, the heart racing with the expectation of which will be the result. Will he do it right? Will he fail? It doesn’t help the fact that he just had one night to memorize the lyrics of the song. He planned along with Kazuha to sing a song from his friend’s notebook in order to do him justice, but he forgot the fact that the majority of these ones are in possession of his previous discography (and now Eula’s one). Then, when she made a preview of which one she will sing, they got to know it’s so similar (not saying it’s the same), and Venti almost broke Aether’s TV when he saw it.

“Venti! Calm down!” Aether says, while Kazuha tries to hold him back.

“I swear I’m going to kill them! They have no rights to use these songs! They…!”

“What’s happening?” Xiao says, returning from the kitchen with a bowl of potatoes along with Jean.

“Venti is out of his mind!” Aether explains shortly.

He looks at Xiao, who leaves the bowl on the table and moves towards him and Kazuha.

“What’s happening, Venti?” Xiao asks gently.

“Xiao, you have to be with me! They’re…! His songs…!”

Venti feels his tears gathering in his eyes. He doesn’t care. He is right to be mad. He is in his right to…

“Calm down, Venti.” He says, and Kazuha releases him as Xiao puts a hand over his shoulder. “We won’t understand unless you tell us.”

They don’t know. Of course. Of course they don’t. Venti never told them. His fury slowly slowed down in favor of a deep sadness.

Xiao sits by his side, and passes an arm around his shoulders. With his warmth, he feels again at home. Like nothing ever happened, like he’s still with him, in love and singing and dancing with him in a rose garden under the rain.

“You’re right.”

And Venti tells them everything. He tells them about his decision to leave everything he knew behind, because it was his dream to see the world, to be heard, to carry people into new worlds with his songs. He tells them about his first meeting with who will become his anchor and his company during what will be an odyssey. He tells them about endless nights writing and composing new songs with illusion, just to be Venti the only recognized for the effort. He tells them how no one listened, how every periodist didn’t include his version of the story and he was unable to tell anything about his friend.

Lastly, he tells them how it ended, and how he escaped.

Kazuha listens with his eyes looking at the floor while Aether looks at him with his hand on his mouth. Jean has put her hands over her chest and Xiao since the beginning didn’t retire his arm. Still, Venti feels small. The world was bigger than he thought, and he was like an angel who wanted the sun without knowing he would get burned.

Suddenly, Xiao holds him. He presses his head against his chest.

Venti lets his tears fall, and as he cries, no one says a word. Their silence, however, was better than any other way of comfort.

“Are you ready? Everyone is waiting outside” Jean asks gently, and Venti nods, leaving the brown notebook with the cover of a cecilia. “Everything will be okay.”

Venti wants to believe her. But there was no time to rehearse the song, so the rhythm had to be similar to the previous one, which gives their “originality” only to the lyrics. And of course they will be the second ones to perform.

The weight of being or not the winner falls into his shoulders. And he just hopes he could make it. For Kazuha, who trusted him with his story, for Aether, who gave him the chance to be there, for Jean and Sucrose, who looked at him with confidence.

As long as you sing with your heart, it would be like I’m there with you. That’s enough for me, Venti.

For those who gave him wings.

For him, who looks at him with his golden eyes shining but a small smile dedicated just to him. He, who after everything, still received him back in his life.

The lights go out, they take their positions, and then, the show begins.

Can't count the years on one hand

That we've been together

I need the other one to hold you

Make you feel, make you feel better

“Did you want to hear another tune?”

Venti asks the boy who looks at him from a prudent distance, thinking he had not noticed his presence. But he did, because he just knows when he’s alone and when he’s being looked at. This boy, precisely, isn’t any subtle.

Since that day, they were practically inseparable. They went together everywhere, they shared dreams and confessed their fears to each other.

When Venti decided to study music and he discussed it with his parents, Xiao was the one who got him into his house when Venti decided he had enough. He heard his rantings, he supported him and he offered him a solution. He didn’t let him down.

That night was the first one they spent together in the same bed.

Recount the night that I first met your mother

And on the drive back to my house

I told you that, I told you that I loved you

You felt the weight of the world

He would always remember how he realized he was in love with Xiao.

It was the last day of high-school. Xiao’s parents were to move out, and he would live in the residence as he had opted for the university there. Venti, helped by Zhongli and his scholarship, would also grant himself the pleasure to not give answers to his parents after his disagreements.

It was an era of new beginnings, but also of farewells. Everyone was celebrating the graduation, and they were impatient for the night for the party that will take place. But Venti couldn’t find Xiao anywhere in the room. He asked everyone he knew, but Xiao had just disappeared.

Almost going to give up in his attempts to find him, he went to check the bathrooms of the third room when he heard the sound of a guitar from a nearby classroom. He followed the sound and he found him there, playing the guitar with his eyes closed but his heart on it.

He did know Xiao played the guitar. He never knew he could make a sound he would hear forever. And while he was not looking at him, he still could feel his presence with him like he was hugging him. Inside, Venti wanted him to hug him, to put his hands on his face and to feel how those lips who were imitating a song would feel like if they trap his own voice.

Venti got red before such thoughts, and was unable to move, frozen in place when Xiao’s golden eyes looked at him and his lips formed a curvature.

“Do you want me to play another tune?” He said, and Venti, like the coward and confused child he was, ran away.

Some things just

Some things just make sense

And one of those is you and I

Since that day, Venti couldn’t help but to think about Xiao. He spent the whole summer writing just love songs, sketching his face into the corners of his notebook, waiting to see him every day and retaining the desire to hold him and not let him go. This got worse when they moved out together in the same bedroom, shared in the residence.

About how they got together? Well, maybe it’s the most absurd thing in the world, but they were like that after all.

Venti watched him sleep while he was writing his songs, under the light of his night lamp. In one of his drafts of songs, he wrote a confession to him that he would forget to erase before falling asleep.

The next day, he would wake up without his notebook in hand but on his desk with a cecilia, his favorite flower, over it. Xiao wasn’t there, but it was obvious he had read it and the cecilia was a message. One of acceptation.

Venti would never forget the happiness of that day, dancing around the room with the cecilia against his chest.

I'm into you

Baby, not a day goes by

That I'm not into you.

“We will be the best!” Venti says, ready to perform their first performance in the auditory of the university.

He says that, but he’s nervous as fuck. Xiao looks relaxed, as he puts a hand on his cheek.

“We will.”

Xiao has like a gift for making him relax. Venti never understood how he could feel so calm and yet with his heart racing as a train while looking at him.

He couldn’t help but kiss him.

I should be over all the butterflies

But I'm into you (I'm into you)

And, baby, even on our worst nights

I'm into you (I'm into you)

The next day after his first concert in the tour, he looked at the photograph he had over his desk. Xiao smiled softly while he was hugging him.

They were happy there. They could still have been. But it was impossible, as Venti would travel around the world and Xiao would stay. Maybe they were too different. Maybe they were trying without knowing they weren’t meant to be.

Venti thought he would be able to forget. That someday he would look at that photograph and would say “it was the best decision taken”. But the days passed by, and Venti still feels an ache in his heart each time he looks at the photograph. Months later, when his friend asked who he was and Venti broke into tears, he had to put it inside a drawer because it was unbearable to see it each day when he woke up.

He would never be over it.

Yeah, after all this time

I'm still into you

I'm still into you

He lowers his hand with the microphone as he feels a breeze playing with his braids. The instrumental continued as he recovered the air, and when the last string resounded, the public screamed out loud, so excited that he couldn’t hear even himself when he thanked them.

What happened after the actuation was chaos.

Kazuha and Aether elogied and hugged him after it. Xiao was silent, and Venti couldn’t face him. Sucrose was almost crying out of emotion and Jean called Kazuha in an urgent voice.

“I’m here, Jean.” He says.

“You had a call from the hospital! It’s urgent!” She says, and Kazuha looked like he lost all his color. “Your friend says your familiar has woken up!”

“Tomo…? He…?” Venti hugs him, and Aether smiles. “I…”

“You can go.” Aether says. “We will tell you everything.”

“Thank you.”

Fast as the wind, he storms out of the place, and they go backstage, waiting to be called for the vote results.

He has never been this nervous before. He had participated in many contests before, but this one is special. This one goes for his friend, it’s his revenge and his beginning of a new page. It’s for what he lost and what he recovered, and what he wants to demonstrate to the world.

He put his heart and his soul into that song. Xiao knows, and he holds his hand, making Venti’s heart rush but also calming him enough to not move his legs each second.

Therefore, when he hears their band name being said, he couldn’t help but scream and attract Xiao to him, hugging him and being lifted by the guitarist, as many times before, as they always did when they won a match.

“We made it! We made it, Xiao! Aether, Kazuha, Jean, Sucrose… We did it!”

The confetti fell upon them. He hears Xiao’s laugh combined with his while they dance around the scenery, not caring about who’s looking or who’s judging. It’s just the happiness and them.

As they receive the prize, he looks at Xiao and smiles. Xiao looks at him and returns the smile, in a way Venti had to avoid his gaze.

It will be difficult. It will be hard to recover everything they had like nothing would have happened. But the way Xiao never lets go of his hand in all the award ceremony and the way he looks at him when they visit Kazuha and Tomo, unbothered by Venti’s arm around his, makes Venti believe he’s willing to try again. To try persecuting that dream both wanted as they were together.

Venti doesn’t care if they reach fame or fortune, if they do or do not make their dreams come true.

He doesn’t mind because, after all, maybe he got it wrong. Maybe he was so focused on chasing dreams that he didn’t take the time to wake up to see the reality.

And maybe what he ever wanted was a reality with Xiao in it.

I'm still into you