Work Text:
Well, this is weird. Hello Earth 1218. Apparently that’s where you are. Yeah. You. The person reading this.
My understanding is that what happens here, in my universe - also known as Earth 1610 AKA the “Ultimate” universe – and other universes, is fictional to you.
Our realities somehow bleed into yours as comics, movies, cartoons and stuff.
Like I said, weird. And not a little invasive. You see, I’m sitting on the toilet at the moment, pants around my ankles whilst you read this.
Come on. A little privacy please!
But do I get privacy? No. Clearly you’re still reading. Humph.
The way I understand it, in your world some evil company named Marvel Comics mainly prints comic “stories” about my world and, very occasionally, about me. I got my hands on some of them and the comics are pretty accurate. Marvel also “sell” access to the multiverse to companies like Sony and Fox and stuff. And they’re owned by Disney. Disney!?
In the comics I’ve gotten a hold of I see that I’m viewed as something of a side character in the “Ultimate” universe. Supporting cast for the “real” Spider-Men – you know Peter Parker and Miles Morales.
Let me tell you though, I’m a main character. I’m not some cheap sensationalist knock off wannabe. I’m an Agent of Shield, member of the Ultimates, founding member of the New Ultimates and the new Black Widow.
My thinking is that Marvel down play me because I’m trans. I’m something of a difficult topic for them to explore. The proverbial elephant in the room. Yeah that’s right reader, I’m Peter Parker with lady parts. Go ahead and look – you’re in the bathroom with me for chrissakes!
And this cuts to what really bothers me. What really ticks me off is a little movie in your universe called “Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse”.
I ask you - Why aren’t I in it?
Sure anyone of you can intrude into my bathroom any time you want, but when it comes to something important, something significant, the higher ups at Marvel Comics and Sony flat out ignore me. Worse. They replace me.
Let me explain. On earth 1610 – here – where it all began for Miles, I’m Miles’ mentor. Me. Jessica Drew. The Ultimate Spider-Woman. Clone of Peter Parker. Peters legacy… well if he was dead. But you get the picture. I gave him his costume. I pushed Fury to allow him to don the suit. I was there.
I didn’t exactly show Miles all the ropes but I sure as heck guided and watched over him. I was no love interest like Spider Gwen or Ghost Spider or whatever she calls herself – but I was there. Day one. Issue four or whatever you call it.
Evidently though my involvement in Miles Morales origin was just too topical for the execs at Marvel and Sony so they found an alternate earth in the multiverse where I wasn’t around and used that to tell Miles’ origin story to the masses in your world.
Not that the film was bad. In fact it was great. Groundbreaking. And Miles Morales deserves to be recognised for the hero he is. And I get that sometimes thing have to change when making a movie. I get that.
But, thing is – I should have been in that flick. And it would have been even better if I was. Just saying. I was part of that story and that story was popular. And now I’m not.
Anyways I’m finished here. Hang on what I mean is I’m done. With the bathroom. So, see ya.