Chapter Text
Characters (NONE OF THESE CHARACTERS HAVE ANY SUPERPOWERS)
IT Division:
- MARIGOLD METIS: New hire in the IT division. She came with the expectation that she would be making rockets and lazers, and instead usually ends up repairing a robotic arm or resetting passwords.
Medical Division:
- CHARLIE: Bitter old doctor who is tired of the heroes antics.
- SUZIE: Secretary of the Medical Division.
- AL: Hired specifically to handle Chad's arm reattachment.
Childcare Division:
- Jo Willard: Overwhelmed and unprepared, this new hire expected there to be way more precautions and preparations for a super-powered daycare.
- Reese: Experienced caretaker who has just accepted the chaos.
Janitorial Staff:
- SAM: In charge of laundry and tailoring suits. Is so used to the chaos that happens at the base, they are completely numb and unaffected. Has a collection of sentient substances that the heroes have inadvertently brought home on their suits.
- RALPH, the garbage man who deals with increasingly concerning objects being thrown away. Such as Chad's robot arms (was this a mistake? He probably needs those back)
Public Relations:
- RILEY: Stressed out head of PR that is desperately trying to paint the Fairness Association in the best light as they do more and more damage to the city.
- FRANKIE: Cynical social media manager who basically just makes memes about the Fairness Association.
Human Resources:
- AGNUS: She is more of a grandma of the office. Checking in with people the large pockets of her cardigan are full to bursting with lollipops. She also minored in psychology back in college and talks and makes sure that everyone is feeling fine not just that they are working
- MEGAN: Tired HR person who is tired of dealing with adoptions and child support issues.
- LEO: The sole member of the ethics committee, and pretty tired of it all. He’s been hired to say no to all mad scientist experiments or self sacrificing plans that heroes fall victim too.
- [Unnamed Human Resource Intern]
Cafeteria Staff:
- JESSICA: the cook who has to make meals that meet ridiculous dietary requirements. From the 3,000 calorie pure protein meals for the powerhouses, to a specific variety of shellfish for the homesick merman, to a literal plate of rocks for an earth elemental.
Accounting:
- SHELDON: the head of finances who is trying to figure out how to do the taxes for the organization considering the billions of dollars in donations/government funding. How do you do taxes for an alien? Do robots need taxes done? What country are they a citizen of? How many financial laws are we beholden by? He's had a perpetual headache the moment he got the job.
Legal:
- AMANDA: She should really get paid more, between injury lawsuits and damage lawsuits and immigration cases. Does the alien need a visa? Do the superheroes need passports? They can't just enter and exit any country at will, yet they do. She is the only thing standing between those heroes and life in prison for operating outside the law