Work Text:
Even though people believed the ’80s would be brighter, London still was a dark, gloomy and lonely city. Always has been and always will be. So Joseph could say that he understood the desire for some sort of melancholic escapism, a moment of controlled sadness to help cope with the madness of the buildings blackened with exhaust fumes and the permanently dark skies.
After all, the man himself was guilty of falling into the deepest states of melancholy and letting it bleed into his art. Alas, most critics had the same thing to say about his photographs ( “It’s too…sad, Mr. Desaulniers. It’s great but too sad.”) , but that was yet to bother Joseph.
His art is just...too deep. It requires taste to be properly appreciated.
But that being said and clarified, Joseph could not say he understood what was happening in front of him right now. You see, while he couldn’t land an exhibition for his pictures, Joseph had to work to make ends meet as he fancied himself a man of taste, and some tasteful things are just expensive, and his most recent work happened to be as a photographer for a fashion magazine, which is fine because he enjoys working with fashionable people, but this month’s issue…it was something else entirely.
Instead of the highly fashionable front cover with a long-legged model dressed to the nines, Joseph’s bosses figured out that innovating would do great for their brand, and what is more novel than whatever in the world those young, revolutionary, musicians taking the city by storm are wearing? So they set Joseph off to find the most beautifully raw and rebellious people — “ the bewitching vampire type” they said — and photograph them.
And finding those people was not hard. They were the people with the crows-nest hair and crucifix chains, hanging out in nightclubs just to dance and listen to music, without any intention of getting drunk as any other young people would. At first, Joseph was quite shocked by their looks and the way they acted, so without any care, but it didn’t take him long to grow used to it. What was truly hard was convincing any of them to agree to be photographed.
I guess a fashion magazine is way too mainstream to goth people.
Then, just when his time limit to get those photos was growing short, he met Patricia at a club. Patricia was absolutely bewitching with her ebony-painted eyes and her dark satin dress, dancing like some kind of enchantress; and Joseph knew she needed to be the magazine’s cover the moment he laid eyes on her.
Patricia scoffed at him when he first invited her. She was as brooding as she was beautiful, Joseph noticed. But after some talking, she eased and seemed to consider.
“Listen,” she said just before leaving. “I have a band called Borrowed Time. You can photograph us if you manage to get some good words about our music in your magazine. We are playing tomorrow at Oletus Manor Pub, in Soho. Come and see.”
And so he did.
And now he found himself standing in front of a small stage in the back of a terribly-lit, dirty, pub with his camera in hands, watching Patricia and her bandmates play their music.
Patricia’s voice was haunting and deep, but her whispered singing was almost drowned by the echoing drums and the intricate and sinister guitar, each trying to be louder and more outlandish than the other. Keeping their rhythm, the bass, and the keyboard created a macabre sound.
Joseph was an avid reader, so of course, he knew gothic literature with its dark romanticism and such. And now, listening to goth music closely like this, it was easy to understand the inspiration. The lyrics were haunting, brooding, sensual, and above it all, deeply melancholic. Some of those words were deeply profound, about death and mourning and loss and everything the photographer knew ever so well. He couldn’t help feeling his heart break.
Still, the sound and the performance were a lot to keep up to. If this was what young people were into, Joseph was ready to admit he was getting old. Raising his camera, he wasn’t sure where to aim.
Of course, he shot Patricia to the point of exhaustion. She was gorgeous as ever, the perfect cover, and didn’t seem to mind his presence. Then, he let his lens wander around.
The drummer, a man with shaggy hair tied in a messy ponytail and a black eye (which didn’t seem like makeup) smiled widely when Joseph pointed his camera at him, making a show with his drumsticks. Joseph couldn’t help but smile back.
Next, the young man playing the guitar merely gave Joseph a friendly smile before looking back at his instrument. His hair was blonde and he dressed in red and golden with several belts around his waist, resembling some kind of vampire. Very stylish!
Before Joseph could even take a picture of the bassist, he hid behind the guitarist, which wasn’t very helpful as he was much taller than the stylish boy. Joseph pitied not taking his picture, as his porcelain skin and black, long, clothes gave him a ghastly air the magazine would be happy to have. But he was a proud gentleman and respected his wishes.
Which was something he wasn’t able to do when his camera lens focused on the keyboardist. The boy looked away, a bit irritated, but Joseph didn't. He couldn't!
He was immediately smitten! Love at first glance!
How couldn’t a man be struck by love upon such heavenly sight? Dearest keyboardist, you’re the fairest of them all with your beautiful pale skin, gray eyes, and sharp contrasting makeup! Even with his mouth covered by a black mask and his brow furrowed in annoyance (Joseph’s camera being his source of annoyance, surely), the photographer was sure this was the most handsome boy he ever saw!
And Joseph was the most stubborn man this boy was yet to meet! He wanted a picture of him!
But it was fruitless. The keyboardist just wouldn’t look at him! Was he shy? Normally Joseph would think a shy pretty boy is adorable, but right now it was quite frustrating, really! Just look at the camera already!
Ah…Joseph was ready to admit defeat as the other bandmates started giving him weird glances. Just when he lowered his camera, the boy looked at him with a raised brow, effortlessly playing the keyboard without even paying attention.
Joseph held his defying glance for a moment. He was truly stunned by it!
But he composed himself as quickly as he was stunned. A flirty smirk and a wink from Joseph were all the boy could take before immediately looking down.
So he really is shy!
Well, Joseph hoped Patricia liked him well enough and he hoped that the magazine article would be flattering because from now on he would be attending every single Borrowed Time’s performances.
He needed to get to know that boy.
◆
It’s been two months since Joseph’s first time at Oletus Manor Pub, but by now he was already a regular. Every weekend Borrowed Time was playing, Joseph was there.
He learned a lot about them in the meantime, really. He would even dare to say he is friends with all of the band, as they often come and hang around his table during intervals and after the show. Joseph learned that the band wasn’t popular ( “We are not popular. Yet.” said Patricia) and that is why they only played at this dirty, dark pub, but they aimed for more.
He learned that the keyboardist's name is Aesop Carl and that he is truly adorable. Well, adorable wasn’t the word many would call someone like Aesop, as he was grim, death-obsessed, and a little bit somber. But Joseph was yet to meet a boy so charming.
Aesop was the songwriter for Borrowed Time, as well. Which would explain why so many of their lyrics were about death, or dying, or about being dead. And truth be told, Joseph couldn’t get enough of it. Aesop seemed to put so much effort, passion, and soul into his songs! The lyrics by themselves were art, but they also fitted so well to Patricia’s voice.
It was mesmerizing.
Yet another thing Joseph learned is that Aesop is not shy. He’s nothing like Andrew, the bassist, who is so morbidly shy he gets upset and flustered about it. Aesop simply is reserved and dislikes being in the spotlight. This was really funny because Joseph always thought being goth was about being loud and flamboyant.
His bandmates had this covered for him, Joseph guessed.
The very last conclusion Joseph came to is the following: He likes Aesop very much. More than the thought he would, more than just for his looks. And he desperately wants to take him out.
But as previously stated, Aesop was very reserved and every time Joseph tried to flirt with him, the boy would only blush slightly and look away, which was very cute but wasn’t what Joseph wanted!
He was starting to believe Aesop wanted nothing to do with him, but as he mopped pettily one night, Luca — the drummer with the permanent black eye — threw an arm around his shoulders and smiled, his cute fang picking at his lips.
“Listen, dude. Do you see them?” He waved his head towards Andrew and the stylish guitarist he learned was called Victor, sitting together by the bar, heads almost touching as they talked in hushed tones. Joseph knew they were an item since the first show he watched.
“Yes” Joseph, enviously, grimaced. “Happy couple.”
“Yeah! But you know why they’re a happy couple?” Luca poked Joseph’s arm and he felt the urge to shake him off but stayed put.
“You see, I barely know them.”
Luca's smile only grew. “And I know them well. Andy is a tough nut to crack, like, he’s a chill guy but he has his issues. But Victor was so head over heels over him he persisted until Andy stopped trying to run away from his smooches. They’re happy ‘cause persistence! Just be gentler and don’t give up on Aesop. He digs you.”
Joseph felt his face flush slightly, yet he couldn’t shake away the boyish glee from his eyes before looking startled at Luca.
“How do you know?”
“How do I know what?”
“That he likes me, of course.”
“I’m just very keen.” Luca let go of him and before leaving, gave him one last winning smile.
And well, hope was hope, so Joseph decided to trust Luca. Perseverance was the key for everything, after all.
So, when Aesop and the rest of the band all gathered at his table tonight, Joseph was ready to try a gentler approach.
What he wasn’t ready for was Aesop locking eyes with him first. And he surely wasn’t expecting the words that came out his mouth.
“Are you free next Friday night?”
Huh? Was the aloof, mysterious, Aesop Carl inviting him on a date? Joseph beamed.
“ Mon amour , for you I’m free any day, anytime.” he leaned on his hands, staring dreamily at Aesop. “Tell me, what is the occasion?”
Patricia laughed as Aesop blushed furiously, hiding his already covered face behind a hand.
“T-that’s not what…” Aesop tried to explain.
“I hope you have time for all of us, Mr. Desaulnier.” Patricia started. “Aesop is trying to invite you for our next show.”
Luca raised his hand like he was at school. “Don’t forget to invite him to the party.”
“Aesop is trying to invite you for our next show. And the after-party.” Patricia agreed.
It was hard to hide the disappointment from his face and voice. “Well, I was already coming here for your next show anyway. But on a Friday? That is unusual.”
“We are not playing at this shithole anymore.” Andrew hissed and Victor, by his side, offered an apologetic smile.
Luca laughed and stirred his drink. “Yeah, dude. That magazine article of yours must have been cool as hell because now we got a gig at a real goth club! With the mirrors and the low ceiling and all. And to celebrate we are throwing a party after the show!”
Patricia gave a serious nod. “We have much to thank you, Mr. Desaulnier.”
Joseph was amazed at the good news. He looked at Aesop, who nodded, looking very pleased. “Oh! That’s sensational, Aesop. Now people with taste and that actually care will hear you delightful lyrics!”
Patricia cleared her throat.
“And Borrowed Time’s amazing sound too, of course.” Joseph corrected himself.
Andrew scoffed. “Like you care about any of us besides Aesop.”
But Joseph didn’t listen. His attention was already back at the keyboardist, who, surprisingly, was looking with a rather fond look at him.
“I’m nervous, but it will be great,” Aesop stated, plainly.
“I’m sure it will be.” Joseph smiled, before pouting. “I just hope no handsome and bewitching goth notices such a cute mouse like my dearest Aesop and tries to steal him from me…”
Aesop looked stunned for a moment, still not quite accustomed to the attention and pet names. Then, he fixed his mask and looked away.
“They won’t. I will not give them any of my attention anyway. You will be there.”
…
That night, Joseph couldn’t sleep. He just couldn’t stop thinking about Aesop flirting back!
◆
Friday could have come faster, but when it finally arrived, Joseph was a bundle of excitement. He was excited to see his friends play at a real club, of course, but he was most excited for the opportunity to flirt with Aesop again, at a party. He tried to take it easy and play it cool, be the elegant man he knew he was, but it was absurdly hard!
He spent more than an hour choosing the right clothes, and another hour fixing his hair and makeup. Sadly, he didn’t own any clothes to remotely match Aesop…
The woes of wanting a goth boyfriend!
The club was packed with people. People wearing outrageous clothes, contrasting makeup, and black-dyed hair, dancing two steps forward and two steps back to the sound of tapping drums coming from the stage.
Joseph knew that he wouldn’t get an opportunity to talk to the band and the club, but he still pushed forward the crowd until he stood by the stage just to see them. And he, of course, brought his camera to immortalize this big moment.
Patricia stood by the center of the stage, all decked in velvet and fishnets, moving her lithe body as she sang about decay and decadence. When she spotted Joseph, her mouth turned into a quick smile for a second.
As ever, Luca and Victor put on a loud, dynamic show with their instruments, both wearing crucifix chains, theatrical clothes, and messy hair. Behind them, wearing antiqued mourning clothes, Andrew angrily strummed the bass.
And finally, by the side of the stage, Joseph’s beau slides his elegant hands over the keys of his keyboard. Tonight he was wearing red and black instead of all grays and blacks, his usual. It was truly a sight! Aesop caught Joseph’s eye and waved his head as if saying hello.
Joseph mouthed a “Hello” at him before showing Aesop his camera, asking permission to picture him.
“Please.” he mouthed, giving his most pleading look.
Aesop averted his gaze before visibly sighing and nodding yes.
Joseph smiled happily and raised his lens, taking as many pictures as he could. After he was finished, the photographer blew Aesop a kiss before slipping back into the crowd and watching the show from afar.
As he watched them play while those weirdly beautiful people danced around him, Joseph found himself ready to admit he was in love. This was no longer a crush. And one must not judge him hard for falling so quickly! Aesop was that captivating.
When the show was over, the band and Joseph didn’t stick around the club for much longer, as they’re all so excited to get to their party and see their friends. Joseph was rushed into a cab with Aesop and Luca, which made a stop mid-way so Luca and Aesop could buy more alcohol and cigarettes.
Back at the car, Aesop pulled a cigarette from the box and started taking his mask to smoke. Joseph frowned hard upon this and like a good boy, Aesop put the cigarette back and threw the box back on the bag.
It was such a sweet gesture. Joseph could help but lean against him and pet his head.
“Don’t start making out here.” Luca grinned. “I came with you guys to run away from Victor and Andrew making out!”
Joseph laughed, placing a hand over his mouth. The thought of making out with the boy brought him much glee. Aesop stayed silent, but the photographer could only imagine how hard he was blushing right now.
Still, the two of them stayed pressed against each other the whole trip.
When they arrived at Luca, Victor, and Andrew’s house, where the party was being thrown, Joseph hooked an arm around Aesop’s, intending to stay as close as possible. But as they stepped in, the keyboardist was almost immediately pulled away from him by the bandmates. It seems like they wanted to celebrate alone or perhaps greet the people they invited over.
Well, Joseph didn’t care at all.
That’s why he sat on the couch and pouted, arms crossed, declining every invitation to dance from the other guests he didn’t know nor wanted to know. Of course, he was happy Aesop was receiving the attention he deserved. Not jealous at all.
Just when he was ready to get up and find something alcoholic enough to keep his mind away from Aesop, Patricia pushed through the small crowd and sat inelegantly by Joseph’s side, a beer can in her hand and a cigarette between her full lips.
“You’re brooding,” she stated, blowing smoke at him.
“The queen of brooding calling me out about it! Very ironic.”
“That’s just my face.” Patricia pointed towards her. “You are brooding over a man. A little bit pathetic for a boy your size, if I must say.”
“Right.”
Patricia looked at him and smirked, a little too pleased about bothering Joseph. “I’m joking. Aesop is looking for you, actually.”
Joseph tried his best not to look pathetic, but it failed as he felt a silly smile on his face. “Really?”
“Yeah. He wants your opinion about his new lyrics or something like this. He’s on the balcony. Go get your Juliet, Romeo.”
Joseph quickly got on his feet and made his way to the small balcony, not without sparing a glance at a mirror and fixing his hair first. And as Patricia said, Aesop was there, leaning against the iron bars, mask off, looking like a dream.
When he turned his head to look at Joseph, he smiled. It was the first time Joseph ever saw Aesop Carl smiling. He felt his legs growing a little bit weak.
“You were looking for me?” Aesop asked as Joseph stood by his side. “Something about a new article for your magazine?”
Joseph tilted his head in confusion. “What? I thought you were looking for me, mon amour . To get my opinion about new lyrics,”
Aesop pressed his lips tightly, looking so confused as Joseph felt. They both stared at each other before Aesop sighed, embarrassed.
“I guess we’ve been set up.” His voice was plain.
Joseph giggled. “So it seems.”
“I’m sorry about that. The boys and Patricia are just excited about-...uh. Forget it.” Aesop rubbed the back of his neck and looked away.
Joseph blinked. Whatever was so embarrassing Aesop found difficulty in talking about, he wanted to know!
But before Aesop could really face away, Joseph gripped at his arm like a spoiled child. “Noo! Do tell me! About what?”
Aesop was getting redder and redder, but Joseph kept holding him and staring persistently at his face.
This wasn’t Victor’s gentle approach, but it was persistent.
“Tell me!” he whined. “You can’t leave me hanging!”
“They’re excited about…ah.” Aesop inhaled sharply. “About us. I’m not really interested in people but I do want to go out with you. They think you will be good for me.”
Aesop was stiff as a board under Joseph’s hands and the photographer felt his face grow red from the confession before a sly smirk adorned his features.
“Really?” he asked, just to hear Aesop say it again.
“W-well. Yes…” Aesop looked at him. “You annoyed me quite a bit at first but-”
Joseph’s expression soured. “Excuse me? Aren’t you confessing?”
Aesop hurried to finish his phrase. “But I grew fond of you, even happy to have you around. There is some sort of melancholic beauty about you, and I think you would look exceptionally great in mourning clothes.”
“Those are quite the compliments.”
And Joseph couldn’t pretend he didn’t like them. Leaning a little against Aesop, he nuzzled his nose at this arm.
“Do tell me, monsieur undertaker, do you think I would look pretty in a coffin?” Joseph asked, his tone just a bit coquettish.
“Very.” Aesop answered a little too quickly.
“Do you think about it often?”
“Yes.”
They stood like this for a good amount of time, just basking at each other’s closeness, before Aesop cleared his throat.
“You’re attracted to me too, right?”
Joseph smirked against him. “Very. You know as much.”
“Are we together?” Aesop tried to sound calm, but his voice cracked a little bit. It was adorable.
“You have to kiss me first. Then I’ll think about it.”
Joseph raised his head, still with a charming smirk on his face. Aesop was red beyond repair, but he leaned just a little bit and closed his eyes. Well…he didn’t actually kiss Joseph, but it was a start.
The photographer closed the distance between him and the boy, locking their lips in a so dreamed kiss. Aesop sighed against his mouth and Joseph threw his arms around his neck, pressing his body against Aesop’s, who hurried to place his hands on Joseph’s back.
When his breath ran short, Joseph broke the kiss. Aesop sheepishly licked his lips and looked down, avoiding Joseph's gaze.
“Hmmm.” Joseph hummed.
“What?”
“I’m thinking, of course! Whether we are or not together.”
Aesop raised his head and looked expectantly, eyes big and cute. Joseph smiled genuinely.
“Well, how can I say no. I guess I must be your mysterious and melancholic muse from now on.”
“I guess you must.” Aesop smiled as well. “But you aren’t mysterious at all, you see. You gave me your full address the first night we met.”
Joseph playfully pushed his chest. “Be silent. I still have much to learn.”
Aesop leaned for another kiss, face flushed, and Joseph concluded that, even if London still was dark and gloomy, it didn’t have to be that lonely anymore.