Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Prompt: I don't want to feel like this tomorrow. 

Warning: mention of cancer 

Carlisle clicked his car fob in his pocket as he approached it in the lot, and the lights of the EQS flashed in response. He removed the cable from the charging point it was hooked up to, and climbed into the driver’s seat. The dashboard - a touch screen screen stretching the width of the car - faded from black. In the second it took to light up, he saw his reflection look back at him. There were purple shadows under his eyes. He looked tired.

Not as tired as he felt.

The lot was quiet as it was after midnight. The electric engine barely made a sound when he turned it on. Hardly looking at the roadway in front of him, Carlisle navigated the lot with one hand on the steering wheel, the other scrolling through the options on the dash. ‘Call Esme’ was his most frequently used suggestion.

“Hello,” she answered after a single ring.

Pulling out onto the well-lit street, Carlisle breathed a sigh of relief. “Hello.”

“Are you alright?”

The city lights rolled over Carlisle’s car as he drove the familiar streets, heading north. Wide roads led the straight path out of the city and towards home. He sighed again. “Yes. I just needed to hear your voice.”

“Oh, darling.” There was a smile in her voice. “Tell me all about it.”

“I couldn’t save him, Es. I couldn’t.”

“Oh.” The smile was gone. “I’m so sorry. What happened?”

“The tumour was attached to the spinal cord. We knew that going in, but it was longer than we thought. Two and a half inches. God, it was big.”

“Double what you expected. Why did the scans not show it?”

He leaned back against the headrest. “Sometimes the dye doesn’t take, so it doesn’t show up. It took us all by surprise.”

“How much of the tumour did you manage to get out?”

“Sixty percent, maybe. It’s taken the pressure of the cord, at least. We hope it’ll improve his quality of life. What’s left of it, at least.”

“Sixty percent is more than anyone else could do, my darling. You did your best. That’s all you can ask of yourself.”

He smiled weakly. “You’re right. But I still wish I could have done more.”

“I know. The hardest is still to come, though. You must be kind to yourself when you see him tomorrow.”

“I don’t want to feel like this tomorrow. I don’t want to feel like a failure when I look at him and tell him that I couldn’t save him. How can I do that to him? How can I tell him his life is over before it’s begun?”

Esme’s voice was so gentle, it could have made him weep. “When the worst happens, it is better to have all the information, no matter how bad it is. That’s the kindest thing you can do for him now.”

“Why’s it so hard with this patient, Es?” He gripped the steering wheel until it squeaked under the pressure.

“It’s always hard when they’re young.”

“Such a waste. I wish… I just… I could do so much more.”

“Carlisle.” Esme’s soft voice grounded him. “You’ve done everything you could.”

“Not everything.”

“Yes,” she replied gently. “Everything. You can’t save them all, my darling. Don’t shoulder the burden that is not yours to bear.”

“Tonight I have to,” he said quietly. “Tomorrow, I’ll be kinder to myself. Tonight, I just need to be sad.”

“Of course. Would you like to be alone?”

In the darkness of his car, Carlisle shook his head and swallowed thickly. “No. Please, no.”

“Alright. I’m here. You’ll be okay, Carlisle. You will.”

There was a lump in his throat that made it difficult to keep his words steady. “Thank you. See you soon.”

“Carlisle,” she said before he could hang up. “You did really well today. I’m so proud of you.”

Air rushed from him in a dry cry. “Thank you. So much, Esme.”

“Come right home, darling. I can’t wait to see you.”

Chapter Text

Prompt: something a little spicy following the deleted scene in Twilight 

“She’s brought him to life.”

Carlisle wrapped his arm around Esme, reluctant to let her go. He sighed. “He’s been alone for too long. But how can it end well?”

Esme smiled and looked down. Their pace as they walked back towards the kitchen was naturally matched. “Alice has been wrong before.”

“Not often.”

The resignation in his voice made Esme stop and she smiled up at him. He cocked his head to the side and she put her hand on his chest. “Carlisle. Bella is what he wants.”

Careful hands found the pockets of his trousers and she gripped the seam of them and pushed him back. He fell lightly against the wall behind him, trusting her to catch him. He couldn’t resist cupping her face in his hands.

“It’ll work out,” she assured him, beaming. “Somehow.”

He was already grinning. Her optimism was infectious. “You’re a hopeless romantic.” And he kissed her. He held her and kissed her and whined quietly when she made it impossible to deepen, and he chased her lips when she denied him. “Come back here.”

His eagerness made her laugh. As she walked across the wooden floors, she reached behind and pushed up his jumper to grasp the front of his belt. She pulled him after her. “You come here,” she replied. Not far past the open kitchen was a small nook with a solid sofa tucked into it. The huge window behind it looked out into the forest. Esme carefully sat down and pulled Carlisle down with her. With her hand on his belt buckle, he fell to his knees in front of her.

“I’m here,” he murmured. Her skirt was tight and he could not spread her knees without ripping it. So he leaned against her legs and faced her and smiled. “I can’t reach you, though.”

Slowly, Esme leaned forwards until she was close enough to kiss.

Carlisle ran his hands up the curve of her thighs. “Ah, that’s better. You’re such a good girl.”

A thrill went through Esme but she turned so when he kissed her he caught her cheek instead. “Carlisle.”

“I like this skirt,” he murmured. “I don’t want to rip it.”

“Carlisle.”

He ran his nose along her jaw while one strong hand pressed under her thigh and squeezed. “But I might have to.”

Esme laughed and leaned back on the sofa, pushing him away with a foot against his chest. “Carlisle!”

“Oh, yes,” he said, and he grinned as he stroked her calf. “I love your legs. They’re so soft but strong, and so lovely. Mm, I love your legs.” When his fingers slipped between her knees and sought to go further Esme laughed again and grabbed his hand away.

“Come sit with me,” she told him, and she tugged on the hand she held.

In a blur, he was next to her, and he took up one of his favourite positions. Esme was glad when he lay his head on her lap, his legs flung over the arm of the sofa and dangling the other side.

“I’m very happy, you know.” Esme’s voice was smooth and soft with contentment. She began to lightly trace his face, long fingers finding patterns across his flawless skin. “I love him so much.”

Carlisle closed his eyes. “He’s been alone for too long.”

“You’re worried,” she remarked, and her familiar touch found its way to the creases of concern on his forehead. He visibly relaxed at the touch, and the lines slowly disappeared.

“A little. She’s human.”

“We all were once.”

“Not like this.” Carlisle’s breathing was slow and steady as he relaxed deeper under her attentions. “She’s human. He isn’t.”

“I was human,” she reminded him.

“When you were a child.” He cracked one eye open to look up at her. “You were vampire when we fell in love.”

That made her smile again, but it was gentler this time. “Oh, I was always in love with you. Even as a girl.”

He closed his eye and enjoyed the fingers on his face. “So you say.”

That made her pull his hair in a gentle tease. “I do say! I was!”

He laughed. “Oh, do that again.”

“You’re rotten,” she whispered, trying hard not to laugh, and she twisted her hand in his tidy hair, before smoothing it over again.

Their humour faded comfortably, and eventually, her hand resumed its movements on his skin. He loved it.

“You’re worried,” she remarked after a while.

“I see only one ending.”

“So do I.”

“I think we see the same one, Es. But I think it fills you with hope, where it doesn’t do the same for me.”

“It wouldn’t be so bad if she became like us,” she soothed. “I wouldn’t give this up for anything. Not even a normal human life.”

“Would you give up me?”

“One thing. I would give this up for one thing.” She smiled and traced his lips. He parted them and caught her finger between his teeth. Gently, he ran his tongue around the tip. Her head dropped to the side and she sighed. “I’d give up anything for you.” She slid her hand from his mouth and gently grasped his jaw.

His shoulders rolled in a shiver and he tilted his face up slightly. “What would you do if it was us?” he asked.

“Would you want me to change you?” Esme moved her fingers to gently play with his ear. He liked that.

“Yes.” Carlisle turned his head in her lap and a slow hand began tugging at her purple shirt. Slowly but surely he began to untuck it from her skirt. “I’d give up anything for eternity with you.”

“Then yes. I’d turn you. No matter the cost. I’d be selfish.” She took in a deep breath when Carlisle’s large hand flattened on the bare skin of her ribs.

He leaned up and kissed her cold skin. Teeth gently tugged at the top of her skirt. “Good. I like it when you’re selfish. Especially with me.”

Esme’s spine arched. Carlisle slid back to the floor and knelt in front of her, and Esme’s hips lifted when he pulled off her skirt.

“Is this selfish?” she asked almost coyly.

“Absolutely not,” Carlisle answered, eyes sparkling. He kissed her knee, and up her bare thigh. “This is my delight.”

Esme bit her lip and sighed happily. When Carlisle lifted one knee over his shoulder and his hands found where her thighs met, she closed her eyes. If this was his idea of selfishness, she would never deny him his own way.

Chapter Text

Prompt: You can lie to yourself but not to me

Edward x Carlisle (familial) 

“Will you tell me what’s on your mind?”

Edward did not look up from the book he was reading. “I’m wondering how you ever got through this book. I’m bored already.”

Carlisle almost smiled. “You’re right. Perhaps it is a little above your capabilities.”

Edward scoffed. “That might have worked on me once, but I’ve long since learned your thoughts.”

A single, dry laugh came from the man. “You know me too well. If it’s not to your taste, don’t spend your time on it.”

Edward shut the thick copy of Don Quixote with a sharp snap and tossed it aside next to him on the sofa. “Well, that’s that. What’s next?”

“Edward.” Something’s wrong. You can talk to me.

The boy looked at him with a hard stare, his smile not reaching his eyes. “Whatever are you talking about, Carlisle?”

“You’re unhappy. You have been for a while, don’t think I haven’t noticed. Please, let me help.”

Rolling his eyes, Edward lounged back on the sofa and crossed his legs, an arm stretched out. It was as if he didn’t have a care in the world. “Isn’t unhappiness part and parcel of life? Or rather, death?”

“We’re alive, just a different kind of alive.”

Edward snorted and shook his head. He looked angry.

“What?” Carlisle asked gently.

Edward snorted again. “It’s nothing.”

“You can lie to yourself, but not to me.”

“For the love of God, Carlisle!” Edward looked at him with sudden anger, eyes wide and brow furrowed. “Do you have to be such a know-it-all? It’s insufferable!”

Edward’s anger was met with nothing but Carlisle’s kindness. “It is,” he agreed gently. “Especially when I am right. Aren’t I?”

On the boy’s face, anger changed to irritation, and eventually a humourless laugh came from him. “Yes, I suppose you are.”

“What is it, son?”

Edward sighed. “You know, sometimes I want to rip your head off?”

Carlisle folded his hands in front of him. He had been sat behind his desk going over letters addressed to his various aliases when Edward had flounced in and announced he was bored to death and had taken up residence on the sofa to his right. Usually Esme sat there with a book or paper or sketches or sewing. Esme. He thought of her now. She was out alone, she said she just needed some time to herself. He missed her. It was like his heart was straining under his ribs to find her, a force so great he struggled to resist. It was only for a few hours. His fingers made popping noises when he gripped them tightly.

“Because of that, you know?” came Edward’s harsh voice. “I can hear everything you think.”

“I know, I know. I’m sorry. You shouldn’t have to endure this.”

“It’s not hard for the reasons you think. You think I’m unhappy because I have to listen to your pining, but that’s not it.”

“Oh.” Carlisle looked down and fixed his sight on his nails. They hadn’t grown in centuries. “Is there other pain I’ve caused you?”

“Yes!” he exclaimed. Suddenly he was on his feet and leaning over the front of Carlisle’s desk. Their faces were level. “Do you know how it feels to know how happy you are?”

It was confusing. Carlisle reached out to take one of his son’s hands and console him, but Edward snatched them away. “What do you mean?”

“I thought we were a family,” the boy said quietly, dangerously. Anger still simmered just below the surface. “You and me. I was so happy when it was just us, and I thought you were too. But I feel how much happier you are now. Do you know how that feels? To know that you weren’t enough?”

“That’s not true,” Carlisle protested. He stood up and moved quicker than sound to face the boy but Edward was too quick, and he moved just out of reach. “Edward!”

“It is. You can lie to yourself but not to me.” He imitated Carlisle’s voice perfectly. “I wasn’t nearly enough. You were my whole world, you know? And I was only a fraction of yours. And I didn’t even know until she came along!”

“But you love her, too. Aren’t you happier to have her with us?”

“Yes, in one way. She makes me very happy. But the unhappiness you have brought me far outweighs that.”

Carlisle titled his head to the side, his expression pained. “I don’t love you any less, son.”

“You do, surely. You don’t have an infinite amount of love to share, there’s only so much your heart can hold. The more you love her, the less is left for me.”

“Oh, Edward,” Carlisle sighed. It was almost a relief. He was in pain, but it was for no reason. “I do have an infinite amount of love, I do. You’re my son. You will always be my priority, you must know that.”

Slowly shaking his head, Edward’s lips came back over his teeth in a soft hiss. “Liar. If she were to leave and never come back, you’d go after her, even if I didn’t want to. She’s not even your mate and already you’d follow her to the ends of the earth. Would you do that for me?”

It was a rhetorical question but Carlisle could not let it go unanswered. “Without hesitation. You’re my son. You have my heart.”

“Not like she does.”

“It’s…” Carlisle struggled for the right words. “It’s different. She is not my daughter.”

Edward rolled his eyes. “Yes, that much is clear. She’s so much more important than that.”

“That’s not true, and you-”

“You can lie to yourself but-”

“Edward! Don’t do that!”

Carlisle reached out to him again. Edward was fast, but Carlisle was stronger and his longer bounds had him catch Edward before the boy could leave the room. He grasped his forearms and looked up at him.

“Let me go,” Edward protested.

“Look at me.”

“No!”

“Look at me!”

Edward gritted his teeth and met Carlisle’s eyes. “What?”

“You are the best of me.” The old vampire’s expression softened. “You are my son. Perhaps I’ve… I’ve lost my way a little with you, and for that I am sorry. With her, I… I don’t know how to live with how I feel for her. It’s… I suppose it’s consumed me. I’m sorry that I have made you feel this way.”

Edward didn’t say anything. His expression was unreadable. Carlisle dropped his hands but Edward didn’t move for a long moment. Then, in a quiet voice he spoke. “I don’t have to forgive you.”

It was happening too quickly for Carlisle to feel anything other than confusion. “Edward?”

“I’m going.”

“Where?”

“Out.”

“Will you be back?” Carlisle asked in alarm.

Edward nodded stiffly. “A few hours. Maybe a few days. But yes. Don’t let Esme worry. I’ll be home before she’s had a chance to miss me.”

“Please don’t go.” I don’t like it when you’re not here.

Edward laughed humourlessly. “No. But you like it when you’re alone with her.”

Carlisle fell silent. There was no response he could offer.

“See?” Edward said quietly. “You can’t lie to me.”

Chapter Text

Prompt:"This is going to hurt." for Carlesme? 

They left before dawn. They each took with them a suitcase of belongings, and the rest would be shipped in the next week. Carlisle carried a photo album with him in his bag, along with IDs, credit cards, cash, passports. Esme drove. They followed Edward’s Volvo east, Jasper and Emmett behind them in the Jeep, and Rosalie and Alice pulling up the rear in the BMW. If any of them spoke, it was too quietly for the other cars to hear.

Carlisle opened the photo album. Whenever some of the family went away without others for a long period of time, they took photos to send home. This one was when their children had gone to the Amazon in the 50s. It wasn’t long after Alice and Jasper joined them, and the others wanted to show them the wonder if the world in a way the pair hadn’t seen before. Esme had asked Alice to capture what she saw and to come home and show her.

In most of the photos, they were all smiling. Emmett hanging from a huge branch like a monkey; Edward proudly holding up the caiman he had caught for dinner; Rosalie crouching like a cat and laughing. They all looked so happy. Carlisle touched a photo of Edward smiling. He missed his boy.

Esme saw Carlisle looking over the pictures and she rested her hand on his thigh. “It’ll be alright,” she murmured.

He sighed. “I hope so.”

“He’ll come back to us.”

Leaning his head back on the rest, Carlisle looked at his wife. “How long will it take?”

“I don’t know. But he came back last time.”

“Last time was different.”

She squeezed his thigh. “It was. But he’ll come back.”

Covering her hand with his own, Carlisle thanked God for bringing Esme to him. She soothed every wound. “This is going to hurt.”

Esme turned her hand over on his leg to lace their fingers together, and she stroked the back of his with her thumb. “It already does. I’m trying not to, but all I can think of is her. She’s going to be devastated.”

“Mm. So do I. I can’t imagine how she’ll feel. I don’t know what I’d do if one day you were gone without a trace. God, Es, I can’t-”

With a tender touch, she brought their hands up and kissed his fingers. “Shh. That’s not going to happen.”

“It has for her.”

The sky was turning an orange that heralded the sun. It lit up their faces, and Carlisle watched as Esme’s skin shone like shattered glass. Her eyes were on the road. They could still see the taillights of their son speeding down the freeway. In the rear view, Emmett and Jasper looked solemn. Beyond, there was no sound of Alice’s laughter, of Rosalie’s wit. They were in silence.

Edward put more of a distance between them as the day went on. There was no silence for him.

Chapter Text

Prompt: Do you wish things had happened differently? 

Warnings: mentions of blood/ Rosalie's backstory

What would you have me do?”

Esme looked over the body with dark eyes. “I don’t know.”

The frantic work was done, and the venom had already been healing the wounds for a day now. Most of the blood had undergone the microscopic change from human cells to vampire, and the heart strained to keep up with pumping the unnatural life source.

“She’s too far gone to go back now.” Carlisle was looking down at the impossibly beautiful face of the girl he had brought home. She lay in his bed on Esme’s side. It was not in Esme’s nature to be jealous. Perhaps he wanted another wife.

No, that was irrational, that was beyond the realms of possibility.

But she was so beautiful. And Carlisle had chosen her.

“She’s stopped screaming.” It was obvious, but Esme had to say it.

“It will start again soon,” he replied. He took the girl’s hand and stroked it. “It’ll be alright,” he soothed quietly. “You’re safe with us.”

“Carlisle.” He did not look up when she spoke. He was mesmerised with the girl. She spoke uncharacteristically sharply. “Carlisle!”

He looked up her, his lips parted. “My love?”

Panic was rising inside of her. She nodded to the door and he took her silent request. It was with great reluctance that he left the girl’s side, and he glanced back at her as Esme closed the door. At last, Carlisle turned his attention to his wife. Her expression must have concerned him. He cradled her face and gently stroked her skin with his thumbs. “What troubles you?”

Her phantom heartbeat raced. She held his forearms. His shirt was pushed up to the elbows. There was still blood under his fingernails, congealed and dry. “I… I don’t know… how to… how to say it.”

“Are you frightened?”

“A little.”

He nodded. “So am I. But it’s more than that, is it not?”

Esme was very still. When she was comfortable, she moved as fluidly as water, never staying in the same place for long. “Yes.”

“Are you angry with me?”

There was a long pause. For most of her life, she had been made to believe she was not entitled to anger. Carlisle had been the one who had helped her realise she was allowed to feel anything. It was still to frightening to say the words, and so instead, she nodded. “You… you just brought her home, Carlisle. We’re supposed to be partners.”

His shoulders sagged. “We are. I promise, we are.”

“But you changed her without warning. Without asking me. That’s not what partners do.”

“I couldn’t just leave her, darling. The state she was in… what she must have suffered…”

Esme turned her face away, forcing him to drop his hands. “You see poor souls die too young all the time. Why her?”

It seemed that he couldn’t answer. There was a long silence before he spoke. “Do you wish things had happened differently?”

She held his gaze. It was an intense gaze, and as his brows knitted together, it became pleading. She could not refuse him. She could never refuse Carlisle Cullen. “Yes,” she breathed.

“Do you wish I had left her?”

“No!” She clamped her mouth shut at the unexpected outburst, and she looked at the closed door. Behind it, the girl made no noise. Esme spoke more quietly again. “No, not like that. But perhaps… perhaps you could have brought her home before changing her, I suppose.”

“She never would have made the journey back alive,” Carlisle said gently.

It was difficult to look at him then. “Why her?” she asked again.

He looked down at his feet. “It felt right. Like I had to save her. I couldn’t just leave her, Es; it felt like when I found Edward, as if something was pulling me to him. I couldn’t… I couldn’t leave her.”

Fair hair had fallen over his eyes and she pushed it back, lifting his face with a finger under his chin. There were no words with which to absolve him, or to ask him to change. He did not ask her to not feel anger, but he asked for forgiveness to soon.

“Please help me.” Esme nodded. Suddenly he wrapped her into a tight hug and he clutched her close, her hair in his fist. “Please tell me it’ll be alright.”

On the tips of her toes, Esme carefully balanced in her husband’s needy embrace. He turned his face against her neck and she felt his cool breath there. He was smelling her. It was something he did when he most depserately needed comfort. There was no denying him that. “All will be well, love,” she whispered. Loving hands stroked his back. “It’s alright.”

Chapter Text

Just some sweet pillow talk 

Carlisle lay back on the bed and looked lazily out the window. It was open and the cool breeze drifted in, lifting his hair and stroking his skin. It brought with it the smell of the forest drenched after a hot and dry week, one of his favourite smells. The mattress was soft under him and the cotton sheets were a comforting weight stop him and he was bare beneath them, warm and comforted from Esme’s loving touch.

“You look peaceful,” she murmured from her side of the bed. Carlisle made a lazy sound in reply She had his shirt on, the one he had been wearing that day, and it was thin and smelled of him and wrapped her in security. It was half-buttoned, the sleeves too long for her, but sitting with her legs crossed next to him, she felt happy. She was well satisfied, the glow of his love lighting her up, and when she leaned down to kiss his forehead it sparked where their skin met. “The stars have come out.”

The breeze swept over Carlisle’s face and shoulders and he shivered in contentment. It felt intimate, the way the air moved, the memories it carried with it from the earliest days of God’s creation. Nothing brought him peace like this; the safety and warmth of his marital bed, the softness and comfort of it, against the cool reminder of the great wide world beyond. How such a thing filled him with excitement and peace at the same time, he would never really know.

“The sun was still setting when I last looked out.” Esme stroked his hair. His eyes closed at her touch. No matter how often he felt her hands so lovingly on him, it was never enough. She smiled at his reaction. “Now the stars are out for the night. Do you think they look at us as fondly as we look at them?”

“Mmm?”

“Never mind,” she whispered tenderly. His eyes were still closed. Her quiet voice sometimes relaxed him so deeply it was as close to sleep as he could get in that deathless life. “I look at them when we’re apart.” The breeze washed over them in soft waves. “It brings me comfort that they are the same stars above you, too. I look at them and think of you.”

Eyes still closed, Carlisle found her hand and brought it to his lips and he kissed her palm, her fingers, again and again, gently and lovingly. Then, still holding her hand, he rolled onto his side and tugged her to lie behind him and hold him. She curled around his back and splayed her hands over his bare chest. “I miss you when you’re away,” Esme whispered into Carlisle’s ear. Their faces were turned towards the open window. The sound of rainfall in the forest was sweet music. “I yearn for you, and I burn for you.”

“I know. I feel the same.” Carlisle found it difficult even after years in love with Esme to express the depths of his feelings. In all the languages in the world, living and dead, he had never found the words to do justice how he felt for his wife. Words did not matter against an eternity of action, and in the absence of poetry he could not find the lyrics for, he lived his life devoted to her happiness. That brought her joy more than a line or two.

She had always been better with words. “I won’t ask you not to go tomorrow, but I will miss you.”

“It’s only a week, my darling.”

“Any time apart, seven days or seven months, is agony, you know? It’s like living in shadow when you’re not around. You’re my sun.”

“Don’t think about tomorrow,” he breathed. His eyes were still closed, body heavy and relaxed. “My Esme. Enjoy now with me. I’m happy.”

She smiled against his ear and kissed his cheek before dropping her head onto his pillow too. “I’m happy too. I feel almost human like this.”

“I’m glad.” He wound his fingers through hers against his chest and reached his other hand back to pull her leg over his hip. The motion pulled them even closer together. If they had not both been sated with an evening of love, Esme might have taken the gesture as the igniting of interest, but they were both utterly satisfied and instead she merely enjoyed his need to have her right there.

“I think I could almost sleep.”

Carlisle laughed softy through his nose. “So do I. I’m so comfortable.”

“Let’s go to sleep, then.”

It was a fantasy they sometimes liked to play, nothing serious, but a little imaginary scenario here and there to remember their humanity. Sometimes they would play “what shall we have for dinner” or “where shall we walk the dog this evening”, asking each other mundane questions that determined daily human life. So for now, it was this. Curled together in their soft bed, their window open to the soft breeze that brought with it the rainy forest, Esme and Carlisle pretended, just for a moment, that they could indulge in the most peaceful sleep, just that two of them. How, in another life, it might have been.

Chapter Text

Prompt: Carlisle realises for the first time that he wants Esme in a carnal way 

Warnings: blood mention, animal death mention 

Carlisle crouched atop a cluster of rocks that overlooked the small clearing where two adolescent males lazed. There were patches of sunlight glinting through the trees, the leaves shining emerald above them. Hidden in the trees the other side of the creatures stood Esme, still as stone but eyes ablaze. She didn’t know he was there. When they went hunting together, they split to find their own prey. Esme was still young, and very territorial for the kill. But these past few hunts had been different. He was easily sated on passing deer and he was finished, clean and quick, before Esme had decided on a target. It gave him time to watch her. He was silent as a shadow and faster than sound and he could hide in plain sight. It felt wrong to watch her like this, in a feral and unstable state, vulnerable and exposed. But he couldn’t stay away.

Esme was quick when she attacked, messy and chaotic. When she slammed her hand against one of the lion’s throats and crushed it to a bloody mess, the other attacked with an almighty roar. No tooth or nail could penetrate her marble skin, though, and every time it attempted to gain purchase on her back, she easily threw it off. Her first lion was already dead when she sank her teeth into its flesh and pulled her drink. The other lion circled her, hissing and roaring but after its attempts to fight her off failed, it kept a wary distance. As she clutched the broken body of the draining lion, growls deep in her chest, its brother made one last attempt. Carlisle’s stomach was tight when she let her dead prey go and threw herself against the living creature. She wrapped her arm around the lion’s neck and tightened, and with a sickening crack and gurgle, the cat dropped dead. Esme looked wildly around before returning to the first one to finish her drink.

Carlisle watched her with his teeth between his lips. He felt the familiar tightness between his legs that often accompanied his thoughts of her now and it made him groan quietly. Not quietly enough. Down in the clearing Esme’s head snapped up and she hissed in defence.

“It’s me,” he called out reluctantly, and moved up the rock enough so that she could see him after he hid. The last thing he wanted was Esme, six months turned and still trembling with newborn power, to attack. Despite only just feeding, his eyes were dark. He didn’t need to breathe but his body needed the air and he could not stop the deep, trembling pattern that wracked his chest. His whole body shook with it.

Still in her hunting fervour, Esme watched him with wide eyes and parted lips. Blood dripped from her lips and down her throat, coating the shreds of her blouse. The lions had ripped most of it from her. It was hard to keep his gaze for long and she couldn’t stop a desperate moan before biting the corpse again. She was hungry. She could feel his eyes on her.

Incapable of words right now, she threw her head back and gestured to the kill behind her. It was with surprise that he realised she was offering him her prey. “Me?” he asked quietly. She moaned in response, mouth back at the lion’s crushed throat. Leaping down from his perch, he carefully approached her and dared to graze his fingers through her blood-matted hair. She was still a newborn. It would be understandable if she ripped his arm off. Instead, she grabbed his hand with her blood-soaked fingers and brought it to her lips. They were stained red, hot from her prey, and she was out of her mind with bloodlust. “Yours,” she groaned. The big cat was still warm between her legs.

He didn’t know what she was saying was his. Her prey. Her. It didn’t matter. Because then she was kissing his hand and trying to pull him down to share what was left of her meal. With anyone else he would have been flattered with an invitation, given the intimacy of the gesture. His control had never been so dearly tested. He wanted her. He wanted to have her here and now, rolling in the mud and blood while they were both out of their minds. When he pulled his hand out of hers she groaned again but the blood called to her. It drenched her.

He walked to the second lion and carefully took his drink and after centuries of practice he had not a spot of red on him. He still trembled. His legs twitched a few times as if to carry him to her and pull her hair back to kiss her bloody lips and tear what was left of her clothing from her. Thirst was slaked but red clouded his vision. He could not think. He could not see. He wanted her. And he wanted to fuck.

Chapter Text

Prompt: "I can be your family"

Carlisle sat in the living room of their new Denver home. They had left Ashland four months ago and settled in a large house in the forests a few miles outside the city limits and it was bigger than any home he had had before. With one more in their family, they needed more room. He held the morning paper in his hands and ran his fingers over the date. Tuesday 28 June 1921. Not a busy day for news. It felt right to keep an eye on European news and he noted with interest the Italian Prime Minister and his cabinet’s resignation yesterday, but it wasn’t enough to capture his attention for long. His gaze drifted to the window and he watched Esme sitting on the porch at the front of the house. It was a sunny morning and although she was in shadow, there was still a shimmer to her skin that dazzled him. What had frightened him in himself when first turned, on Esme was breathtaking. She was as stiff as a diamond today. 

Edward, won’t you tell me what’s wrong? Carlisle pleaded silently with his son. Edward was making notes on a manuscript in the window seat that Esme usually took. He looked up and shook his head. 

Please? 

Edward scribbled something on the blank side of the paper and held it up. Even across the room, Carlisle was able to read it. Edward’s elegant script wrote: no, she asked me not to. Talk to her yourself. 

Carlisle frowned. This was a point of contention between them although Carlisle knew he was in the wrong. Because Edward so happily revealed the thoughts he heard in others to Carlisle, it was a new experience for Carlisle to be denied that information when it came to Esme. Of course, he respected her privacy and Edward’s respect of that, but it still frustrated him. And it frustrated him that he was frustrated about it in the first place, as he had no right to Esme’s mind unless she chose to reveal it to him, for goodness’ sake! Hearing his inner monologue, Edward rolled his eyes and nodded his head as if to tell Carlisle to just get on with it. 

Alright, if you think so, he thought and Edward smiled slightly before turning back to his sheet music. The broadsheet crinkled as he folded it and he set it aside neatly on the table next to his comfortable armchair before getting up. He made his way out the front door, nervously adjusting his tie as he went. He liked to look nice, even when just being at home. Since Esme’s arrival, he put more effort into his appearance than ever. It was something that Edward had teased him for now and again in private and when Carlisle was in a good mood it earned him a rough wrestle in the garden. Even with his mind-reading gift, Carlisle absolutely demolished him every time. 

“What a lovely day,” Carlisle remarked quietly as he stepped onto the front porch and made his way slowly over to Esme. She jumped easily, but not this time with his approach so mindful. 

She made no reply, but on the bench, she shifted a little to give him more room to sit next to her. 

“I thought, as I don’t have work today, we could make the most of the good weather together. Go for a walk, maybe, or a run, whatever you like.” She had told him not long ago that she loved warm sunny days more than anything. It had brightened his day because he felt the same. After centuries of enjoying the sun alone, it was nice to have the company of one who loved it the same as him. When she didn’t reply, he continued in a good-natured voice “or we could stay in and find something to do together? We could read a book, or you could help me with some of my paperwork if you would be so kind? It’s always helpful to have another pair of eyes, and I am sure you have some insights as you were human much more recently than me!” He smiled, trying to cheer her up. 

The sadness in her amber eyes shocked him when at last she looked at him. Esme looked as if she would be weeping if she still could be. 

Shifting to face her better, Carlisle took her hand instinctively between both of his. “Oh, Esme. Is it anything I can help with?” 

Her eyes closed and she shook her head. Soft caramel waves bounced around her flawless face. The circles under her eyes were darkening but they had fed only two days ago. 

“You know what they say, a problem shared is a problem halved.” He smiled weakly. 

“You’re very kind,” Esme finally replied in a small voice. “I am very thankful for everything that you’ve done for me. And I am sorry for my foul mood these past few days, it’s not something you should have to put up with. I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.” 

Little had been shared about the husband Esme had run from, but moments like this made Carlisle realise how terribly he had treated her. She felt guilt merely for being sad. It was like she thought she was not allowed to have negative emotions. He stroked the back of her hand. “You have nothing to apologise for, I promise. You can tell me, Esme, if you like. I won’t be angry.” 

There was a long silence before she had the courage to answer. “It’s… it was… I don’t know what to call it anymore. And it’s silly, I suppose, but… but it just reminded me… that’s all.” 

Carlisle waited in silence for Esme to find the right words and when she looked at him he smiled slightly and nodded in encouragement. “June 28th 1921 would have been my 27th birthday. That’s today. I don’t know. Do you still celebrate your birthday?” 

“I don’t, no,” Carlisle admitted. “I forgot a long time ago my date of birth and after the calendars were changed in the 18th century I could not be sure of my exact birthday regardless. Would you like to celebrate yours?” 

She pulled her hand free from his and looked back over their front garden. Beyond the tidy lawn the forest crept along their property borders and in the distance, it teemed with life. The creatures of the trees and undergrowth gave the house a wide berth, but she could still hear it from here. “No, it’s not that. I think… I can’t help but think of my life a year ago. How happy I was.”

Carlisle did not prompt her or interrupt and he folded his hands back into his lap. 

“I was with my cousin who was my best friend, and her kind husband and wonderful children. It was a busy household and the children were a challenge a lot of the time but… but by God it was home. I was going to raise my baby with them. Everything seemed so bright. My cousin made me pound cake and the children decorated it with too much jam and icing and it was so sweet but they were so proud of it.” Her face crumpled and she covered her mouth with her hand and closed her eyes. Barely in control of her breathing, she managed to continue. “I’m forgetting what they look like, Carlisle. How do I not forget?” 

Hesistantly, Carlisle rested a hand on her shoulder. When she leaned against him, he wrapped his arm around her and rested his cheek on her hair. She cried softly and he rubbed her arm. When she had quieted, he kissed her head. “Write them down, a description of them in as much detail as you can. Or try drawing them, if you can. But it’s alright if you forget their faces, Esme. You will always carry their love in your heart.” 

“I miss them,” she breathed. “They were my family.” 

“I know. They must miss you too.” 

She nodded against his shoulder and forced herself to breathe steadily. She felt warm against him. “Sometimes I feel so alone. Having a family tethered me and kept me steady, you know? I miss having a family.” Her voice was little more than a sad whisper. 

Carlisle’s voice was as quiet as hers and his lips were against her hair. “I can be your family.” 

Suddenly her arms were around his neck and Esme pulled Carlisle into a tight hug. Newborn strength lingered in her tissues and he was powerless to resist. There was no desire in him to resist, though. Without thinking he returned her embrace, one hand around her back and the other in her hair. 

“Thank you,” Esme breathed with her face buried into his shoulder. “You are my family. Forever.” 

Chapter Text

Prompt: Don't leave me alone in this world. 

Warnings: mention of hypothetical death 

It was rare to find a moment of peace now. Their home was fit to burst with friends from around the world who had travelled to pledge their allegiance to their family. Should it come to a fight, many had declared their intention to stand at their side against the coming threat. It was a comfort to know that they were so loved, and it was overwhelming. With Carlisle being the centre of attention much of the time, it had felt impossible to get a moment alone. But as the night had worn on, covens and couples had broken away and Carlisle had taken Esme’s hand and they too had left the group. 

Snow was sticking to the ground. 

They walked slowly together through the forest, listening to the sounds of the creatures there, and the soft patter their vampire senses could hear of snow settling on the trees and the undergrowth. 

“It’ll be alright,” Carlisle sighed after a while. 

“It’ll work out,” Esme agreed. They were doing the right thing, it had to work out. Around her family, it had been easy to pretend that she was confident in their triumph and a peaceful meeting, but being alone with Carlisle made the charade much more difficult. “I hope.” 

Carlisle swallowed and squeezed her hand. Their feet crunched in the snow. “I fear something will go wrong. After what Eleazar said, I don’t… I worry.” 

Esme nodded, looking at the ground. They weren’t going anywhere in particular, but it felt good to move. It was good to be alone. “So do I. I don’t think we stand a chance if something goes wrong.” 

“What is the worst-case scenario?” he asked quietly. 

She took in a deep breath. “They destroy… they try to destroy her. But I think Jacob would be able to get her away for as long as our line holds. If he is prepared, that is.” 

“It wouldn’t surprise me if Bella and Edward are having a similar conversation. Jacob will be involved too, how could he not be?”

Esme nodded. “And we are punished. They destroy us. All of us. They cannot leave Edward alive if they choose not to listen to us, not given his involvement. And they hunt Alice down until the breaking of the world. She would never know home again, they would never stop. Not if Edward says that Aro wants her.” 

“Aro was a good man when I knew him,” Carlisle sighed. He looked at his wife and squeezed her hand again. 

“Perhaps he would offer you amnesty? Given your friendship?” Esme gave him a hopeful look. 

They stopped walking and Carlisle gently brushed his knuckle across her cheek. “If the worst happens, I pray they do not.”

Esme leaned into his touch and wrapped her arms around him, pressing him closer at the small of his back. “Don’t say that, darling. I can’t bear that.” 

He kissed her forehead and closed his eyes. “I can’t be without you. If we do not live to see nightfall, I am at peace with that. But to see it without you? No, I cannot do that.” 

“Carlisle.”

“Don’t leave me alone in this world.” 

Esme had no reply. They looked into each other’s eyes and she understood. If she died, then so too would he. And if he died, so too would she. They tied each other to life, and would follow each other into death. That was how it was. She touched his jaw and Carlisle leaned down to kiss her sweetly. His arms wrapped around her neck and he held her close and she gripped the back of his coat. “I love you,” he breathed between kisses. Esme nodded and parted his lips, tasting his tongue on her own. When her fingers came to push open his coat, he understood. He moved his kisses to her neck and he cradled her head and she sighed, pleased. 

“We’ll live,” he whispered against her skin. 

“We will,” Esme agreed. Her eyes were closed as he licked up to her ear and she felt his teeth gently tug her lobe. “Oh darling, we’ll live.” 

Chapter Text

Prompt: "imagine carlisle c.1920s (post-changing esme but neither of them are admitting their ✨feelings✨) overhearing his coworkers talking about how its weird he doesn't have a wife bc what is WITH that youngish handsome successful man being an eternal bachelor so then he panics and overcompensates like 'hello gentlemen lovely day isn't it you know who else likes lovely days? my WIFE that i definitely have at home who im married to' and then has to go home mortified and be like 'esme? can u do me a favour' and then BAM let the fake dating AU commence"

Esme looked up from the camera she had disassembled on the dining room table as she heard Carlisle’s car turn onto their mile-long drive. It was a complicated machine, the camera, and she was in the process of teaching herself how to take it apart and clean, and put it back together. Carlisle had bought it for her for no reason in particular and initially she had felt very guilty about the gift, but he had insisted that it brought him joy to be able to spend his money on her. He had too much of it, he said, to not spend it on something that made her happy. Shyly, she had accepted the gift. 

He was driving more quickly than usual. “Is he alright?” Esme asked aloud. Edward was practicing a complicated piece ni the next room and he would have heard her. 

“I’m not sure,” he answered quietly. “I think… something might be wrong.” But then he stopped playing and he laughed. 

“What is it?” she asked in surprise. 

“Oh, he’ll tell you himself as soon as he gets in,” Edward chuckled, and he began playing again. 

Esme’s frowned and she stood up to greet Carlisle at the door. When he parked and came through the front door, she took his coat and hat from him as she always did. “Welcome home,” she said as she did every day, smiling warmly at him. 

“Hello Esme,” he replied, glancing at her and then looking away. He looked very nervous. “How was your day?”

“Very nice, thank you. I’m cleaning the camera and it’s taking quite a long time. I’m enjoying myself, though!”

“Good. That’s good.” He looked around as if searching for something, and then he stuck his head into the room where Edward was. “Hello. How was your day?” 

“Better than yours,” Edward answered, and Esme could hear the grin in his voice. “Why did you say that? Why on Earth did you say that?” 

“It just happened!”

“What happened?” Esme asked. She was surprised at the indignant tone Carlisle took with Edward. Carlisle glanced back at her and sighed. 

“Esme, I’m deeply sorry. I must ask a great favour of you.” 

“Anything,” she replied automatically. 

Edward appeared in the doorway, grinning. “I’ll leave you two to it.”

“You don’t have to leave, surely!” Esme said in surprise. “What’s going on?” 

“Nothing’s wrong, don’t worry,” he assured her. 

“Stay, please,” Carlisle said. 

Edward laughed again. “Oh, no, I’m headed out. You don’t need an audience for this.” 

Carlisle pursed his lips in disapproval but Edward’s mind was made up. He kissed Esme’s forehead before leaving. She watched him go in bewilderment. “Carlisle, what-?” 

“I-” He looked down at his feet. “I truly apologise for what I am about to ask of you. I spoke without thinking and have put us both in a difficult position.” 

There was a long pause before she spoke again. “Let’s… let’s go sit down, perhaps?” 

He nodded and she led the way into the lounge where Edward had been playing his piano. She took her place in the window seat as usual, and Carlisle sat in the leather chair closeby. He crossed his legs and sat unusually still. Out of the three of them, he was best at playing human, and so it unnerved Esme now that the mask had slipped ever so slightly. She clasped her hands together tightly in her lap. “Please,” she said quietly. “Tell me.” 

“I… I don’t know where to begin.” 

“Anywhere. The middle. The end. I don’t mind.” 

Carlisle took in a deep breath. “I have been invited to dinner by the chief of staff next week. It’s expected that I go.”

Esme was confused. “That… sounds promising.”

He couldn’t hold her gaze. “And it is expected that I will be accompanied by you.”

“By me?” As far as she was aware, no one knew she existed. Although they were relatively new to the city, she was still young and not ready to join human society again, and they had decided that Edward and Carlisle would present themselves as brothers, and Esme simply would not exist. No humans would need to come to the house, and she would not appear in public. It was perfect, for now. “Why?” 

“I… my colleagues are under the impression that I have a wife.”

Her eyes went wide. “Why?”

“Because I told them that I was married.” 

Esme felt herself turn to stone. She did not know if she was angry or upset or both, but whatever it was, was overwhelming. “Oh.” 

“I’m sorry, I don’t know what happened. I overheard two colleagues talking about how strange it was that I was unmarried, and then they made some ghastly comment about myself and one of the nurses and I couldn’t bear for them to talk like that and so when I spoke with them I- I said I was ready for the day because… because my wonderful wife had made the best pancakes I had ever had for breakfast and- and-! I don’t know what came over me. By lunchtime word had got around and the chief of staff invited me and my wife for dinner and I had to say yes because, well, he’s the chief of staff! And I couldn’t say no!”

Esme missed weeping. Every word hurt more than the last. She loved him with all of her heart and she wanted more than anything to be his wife. But not like this. Not as a charade. To pose as Edward’s wife would make her laugh, it would be like playing dress-up as a child, entertaining and funny, but Carlisle’s? To act out a fantasy that she would never truly live? That was cruel. 

“-and I know that you do not have much experience around humans but I thought that perhaps we could go into the city for a walk around one of the parks and you could see how you feel, and we could go for drives in residential areas so you can grow accustomed to the sound and-! Esme?” 

She looked up at him, stricken. “Yes?” 

“Can you forgive me?” 

It felt far too soon for that when his words had not even begun to sink in yet, but she could not deny him anything. “There is nothing to forgive,” she lied. It didn’t feel like a lie, though. “You were preserving the dignity of a woman you work with. That’s admirable.” 

“I have wronged you. I have trapped you.” 

“Not at all. But I fear I will not be ready to face a room full of humans by next week. I’m sorry.”

He watched her, troubled by her expression. “I… of course.” 

“But,” she added, not meeting his gaze, “perhaps in the not so distant future I will be. Perhaps, in time, I can pretend to be your wife.” She didn’t know why she said it. Maybe it was that a fantasy was better than the reality of her never holding him as her husband. Maybe it was that she couldn’t bear to let him down. Whatever it was, it hurt. But she quickly realised, as she saw his frozen expression melt into a smile, that to please him felt better than anything else in the world. 

Chapter Text

Prompt: "Can you do “We look up at the same stars and see such different things.” For Carlisle and esme??? Like Carlisle thinks he isn’t good for her or he’s boring her and she reassured him"

Context: part of my "This New Life" fic-verse where Carlisle and Esme do not get married until after Charles Evanson has died. Canon divergence. 

It had been over a year since Esme’s transformation. She had killed two people in her first year, a father and son. Edward had been there when it happened and he had felt how the young child’s blood had called to her and he knew she had been powerless to resist it. Still, it had broken her heart. Carlisle and Edward had gone to the funeral and made an anonymous donation to the widow that would have her looked after for life, but Esme could not forgive herself for causing the woman the pain that had sent her tumbling from a cliff. 

A few weeks after the funeral they had moved away and settled in Calgary and the three of them designed their home together, staying in a rental until it was finished. Esme’s talent for design was obvious the moment she began expressing her ideas - shyly at first - and when the house was completed, the three of them had never found a place that felt so much like home. Each of them had a large room upstairs and their own balcony. Esme’s balcony looked west to the mountains in the distance. It was her favourite place in the house. Carlisle liked it, too. 

There was a light breeze that warm June evening. Esme leaned against the railing on the balcony and breathed in deeply. The smell of the woods and meadows, the flora and fauna, filled her mind and she smiled softly. The blue sky was turning pink and yellow and orange and stars had begun to pop out. In the distance, the mountains reached up to the heavens in a million shades of black and grey and white. It felt like the whole world was between here and there in all of its magnificent splendor. It was quiet and it was peaceful. 

“May I join you?” Carlisle asked softly from the doorway. 

“Of course.” Esme didn’t turn to look at him but she could hear the smile in his voice. He came to stand beside her. He had kissed her for the first time last night. They promised each other that they would wait, though, until she was a free woman. When he came to stand next to her, his hand close to hers on the railing, Esme felt giddy. “It’s a beautiful evening.” 

His soft gaze was on her. “It is.” 

“I like it here. A lot. I hope we can stay for a while.” 

“A good few years, I should hope,” he agreed. He turned his face to the sky and breathed in deeply just as she had a few moments ago. “It feels like home here.”

“It feels like home with you.” Her hand shifted on the railing closer to his and their little fingers touched. The tiniest contact was almost overwhelming. “With both of you.” 

Carlisle swallowed. He moved his finger to rest over hers. Esme felt a string tug under her ribs, a golden thread that linked her heart to his. That was how he had described it to her when he kissed her, that it wrapped around him and tethered him to her in an unbreakable way, that it made him bleed when they were apart and only their closeness made it shine. He had been so bold and open and he had shed his inhibitions when he kissed her and told her that he loved her. It was different now, but that was alright. Those inhibitions had returned but Esme didn’t mind. “It does,” he agreed. “You have done wonderfully with this house, I’m very proud of you.”

“Thank you.” She would have blushed if blood still ran through her veins. “I think the landscape helped me a great deal. It’s so beautiful here. So big, you know? It reminds me of Ohio and how the skies are just endless there.” 

Carlisle smiled. “I remember. Would you like to go back there someday?” 

“No, I don’t think so. Well, maybe. I’m not sure.” 

“We don’t have to make a decision now.” 

She laughed quietly and looked at him. A peaceful silence fell between them. It was difficult to look away from the other. I love you! she wanted to yell. But he knew. And she should not torture him. Her heart was full and happy, though, thick and heavy with it. She felt drunk on it. He wound his fingers through hers on the railing and the way his hand felt atop hers made her eyes close. His breath was heavier, too. The most innocent of touches threatened to unwind the lovers. 

Carlisle’s silky voice broke the peace after a while. “Do you think God watches us and disapproves?” 

Esme opened her eyes and turned her gaze to the changing colours in the sky. The stars twinkled above them. “What would He disapprove of?” 

Carlisle did not answer. He squeezed her hand. 

“Carlisle?” 

He ran his thumb over her skin and a lump rose in Esme’s throat. “I’m not sure. Everything. Somertimes I feel the weight of His judgment and it’s almost too much to bear. I see the beauty of creation and wonder why creatures like us were sent to poison it.”

“Carlisle,” she soothed softly. “Do you think I am a poison?” 

“Of course not.” 

“Then why are you?” 

He looked at her when she let his hand go and touched his cheek. He looked suddenly vulnerable. “I feel sometimes that… that I should not exist.”

“Why?” 

“Because we do not fit into the perfect order of things. We are snakes in the Garden, are we not? Or worse, perhaps. What if we are creatures of Hell?” 

Esme’s smile was soft. There was still overwhelming happiness in her heart. “We look up at the same stars and see such different things.”

“What do you see?” 

“I see a perfect creation, too. But one that we are permitted to enjoy forever. I see a wonderful world, and the rest of time to cherish it. We are not creatures of Hell, Carlisle. We can be good.”

“I’m trying to be.”

Esme gently ran her knuckles down his cheek and he closed his eyes, leaning into her touch. “You are good. All of us are. We have made the decision to be. And when we aren’t good, we do what we can to make it right, don’t we?” 

He nodded and turned his face to kiss her palm. Her lips parted and there were butterflies in her stomach. She longed to pull him close and kiss him, but that would not be the good thing to do. “I think you’re good,” she whispered. “And I think anyone looking at your life from Heaven would judge you as a good man.”

He kissed her palm again and their eyes met. His pale skin was blue in the evening light. He looked more like a creature of mythos at the time of day than any other time and it thrilled Esme. “Thank you,” he murmured. “How do you do that?” 

“What?” she asked, smiling widely. 

“Make me believe you. I never… I never doubt you. I’ve always doubted others and never fully trusted them, especially when it comes to morality or… or me.”

“I think we are made of the same stardust,” she whispered. “Whatever your soul is made of, so too is mine.” 

Carlisle sighed deeply in relief, and he held her hand against his cheek for a moment longer. They watched each other as the sun set beyond the mountains in the West, and as the stars danced across the sky, they found themselves in each other’s arms again.

Chapter Text

Prompt: "Would you ever consider writing a little fic scene of the first time Siobhan and her coven met Esme after Carlisle married her, Siobhan and Carlisle are so cute as old friends and I would love to see her being really genuinely happy for him seeing how much happier & at peace he seems compared to when they knew him before "

Chapter Text

Prompt: Things you didn't say. 

Further notes: This is Carine/Esme (Carine being Carlisle's female Life & Death counterpart) 

The flight to Seattle was excruciating. Carine and Esme sat side by side, both staring ahead and gripping hands. Whenever another passenger looked at them for too long, Carine glanced at them and they looked away in embarrassment. Neither she nor Esme could quite pass as humans that day. They were hard stone, unmoving and silent, timeless in their beauty and frightening in their stares. 

Alice had left Carine’s car keys in a locker at the airport and they picked them up. There was nothing to do but wait. They hadn’t heard from Alice since she let them know they had landed in Italy, and for all they knew, it could be days. Esme had never met Carine’s Greek friends who ruled from their castle in Volterra but she had heard stories, wonderful and curious and frightening, and they were civilized, she knew. Perhaps they would take a long time to debate their son’s fate, days, maybe, and give Alice and Bella time to intervene. Sweet Bella, who loved their son once, did not deserve this. 

Carine took her place in the driver’s seat and looked at Esme. “What now?” 

Esme touched her wedding ring and twisted it around her finger. “Let’s go back to the house.”

“In Forks?” 

“Yes. When they come home, we’ll need to have somewhere for them. Everyone will come back and Bella and Edward will talk and maybe she’ll take him back and everything will be as it was and-”

“Esme.” 

Esme looked down at where Carine held her hand and gently squeezed it. “Yes, Carine?” 

“Is that a good idea?” 

“Why wouldn’t it be?” she asked, wide eyes searching her wife’s face. 

Carine’s jaw clenched. “If… if it doesn’t work out and… and they don’t come back, we-”

“Don’t.” Esme swallowed and blinked. “Don’t say that. It’ll work out, it has to.” 

“My darling, but-”

“Don’t,” she repeated firmly. She took her hand out of Carine’s and folded them in her lap. “Please. Let’s go home. Wait for Alice’s call. We’ll get the house ready as best as we can, and we’ll wait. They will come home.” 

There was a long pause while Carine considered her wife’s words. A few dry sobs came from her, and she pressed her hand to her forehead. Esme softened. 

“Oh, my love,” she whispered. Esme pressed her forehead against Carine’s temple and held her hand again. “Don’t cry, my love, all will be well.”

Carine took a deep breath in through her nose and opened her eyes. She turned her head and caught Esme’s lips in a soft kiss. When they broke apart, she felt Esme stroke her cheek. “Okay,” she breathed. Sticking the key in the ignition, she pulled out of the parking lot and soon they were on the road home. By the time they had left the lights of the city behind, Carine was back in control of her emotions. Esme’s hand never left hers and she had turned in the seat to face her. Neither of them could bear to say what may befall them - Edward and Alice might never come home. 

Chapter Text

Prompt: A deafening sound 

Rosalie loved attention, and so of course her wedding had to be the event of the decade. Carlisle and Esme were happy to spend an inordinate amount of money if it meant seeing her smile. That meant paying top dollar for the Beverly Hills Hotel Crystal Ballroom and Crystal Garden, and it meant waiting long enough for Carlisle to work his way through high Los Angeles society for everyone who was anyone to want to attend. It worked, though, and socialites, politicians, property moguls, and Hollywood stars were all on the guest list that exceeded six hundred. Rosalie was thrilled. Carlisle and Esme were just happy to see her happy, and so was Emmett. Edward was miffed at the work and extravagance, but whilst he was not happy for Rosalie to be indulged so deeply, he liked an easy life. 

The cathedral ceremony went smoothly and so did the reception and the event transitioned smoothly from the formal dinner to the dancing in the evening. Carlisle led Rosalie through the father/daughter dance, and with Emmett posing as an orphan, he swept Esme gracefully across the floor too. Once the other guests came to the floor, Rosalie and Emmett found each other and so too did Carlisle and Esme. They smiled as they swayed together in the crowd. 

“Our girl,” Esme sighed happily. “I’ve never seen her smile so wide.” 

Carlisle pressed a kiss to her forehead. “Me neither. It’s what she deserves.”

Esme rested her hands on Carlisle’s shoulders and beamed up at him. “It is. And if we have to go through this every decade, so be it. A small price to pay for her joy. Oh, look at her!” 

They both looked at the young woman they thought of as their daughter and their hearts were filled. The centre of attention, adored and praised, and in the arms of the man she loved, Rosalie looked celestial. She was a star, bright and warm, walking among mere mortals, and Emmett was her guide. Esme ran her fingers through the hair on the back of Carlisle’s neck and he bent down to kiss her quickly. 

Outside it was growing dark and one of the hotel staff members discretely approached Carlisle. He whispered in his ear and Carlisle grinned. Whilst Rosalie had planned every last detail of the day, Carlisle had one surprise up his sleeve. With Esme at his side, he approached the band and waited for them to finish their song before being handed the microphone. He addressed the crowd with a shining smile. “Ladies and gentlemen, I am sorry to interrupt your fun and the talents of this excellent band, but if I may have your attention for a moment, I do have a surprise for my wonderful daughter and her delightful new husband! My wife and I-” he looked at Esme who was filled with glee “- would like to invite you out into the gardens for a little surprise.”

Rosalie looked up at them from the crowd in annoyance - not being in control of something made her nervous - but Emmett swept her into his arms and carried her out to the gardens much to the mirth of watching guests. Esme and Carlisle followed just behind. Esme missed Edward but he had already had to leave, the volume of minds having overwhelmed him. The gardens were filled with chairs and flower arrangements - flower arrangements everywhere - and lanterns, and the crowd gathered on the huge balcony and patio that overlooked the sprawling lawns. They found their way to their children’s side and Carlisle leaned close to whisper to Rosalie. “I hope you don’t mind, but I wanted to do something special for you.”

“Hmph. We’ll see.” But she was grinning, Carlisle already forgiven for going behind her back. He kissed her cheek and she squeezed his hand. 

Carlisle turned back to Esme and she moved to stand in front of him so he could wind both arms around her and hold her close. Through the night they could see what their human guests could not; down on the lawns, a group of men worked on lining up firework after firework, and in perfect timing, they were let off. The rockets launched up into the air with whistles and whines and after a moment of silence, they exploded in the skies above them. Bang, bang, bang! one after the other, white and yellow and pink, and then spiraling lights followed in a rainbow of colour. The sky was full of bright lights and deafening bangs, and Rosalie loved every second of it. So did Esme. 

That was also why Carlisle did it. Esme so loved fireworks. Never had there been a sight so fair as Esme’s smile under the bright lights that danced across the sky. “Do you like them?” he breathed against her ear. 

She couldn’t take her eyes off the sky but she nodded. “I do! I love them!”

Carlisle closed his eyes and kissed the sensitive spot where her neck met her shoulder, skin luminous under the fireworks, and she shivered. Esme held his arms around her and let the happiness of the moment sweep her away. 

Chapter Text

Prompt: One missed call 

“Esme, please call me as soon as you can!” Carlisle hung up and put his foot to the floor. Along the straight road to La Push, the Mercedeswent faster than he could. He dialed Alice’s number as he screeched to a stop in the layby close to the treaty line. “Can you see her?” 

“Not yet, but there’s nothing to worry about, I’m sure! I didn’t see Victoria, it could just be one of the wolv-”

Carlisle hung up and flew out of the car. He pelted through the forest, clinging to the treaty line and breathing in heavily for any taste of her in the air. There was no trace so far. But the line stretched for miles. He pulled out his phone and rang her again. She didn’t pick up. He let out an agonised groan. Alice saw her disappear, her whole future gone, everything. She was more vulnerable than the others, she shouldn’t have gone alone today, not when there were invisible enemies everywhere-

He ran north, following the line, and from the west came the sound of heavy footfalls, eight feet, two sets of paws. He glanced to his left and saw two wolves - the sandy coloured one he knew as Leah and a huge dark grey wolf he recognised as Paul. They ran along their side of the line, snapping at him. Perhaps they knew something. 

“Please,” he called out, and he stopped suddenly. The pair skidded to a halt and faced him with hackles raised. Carlisle did not blame them. “Please,” he begged, “my wife, have you seen her? She was patrolling up here but we can’t get hold of her by phone and I can’t find her scent, please!” 

Perhaps it was because they saw how desperate Carlisle was, or perhaps it was because they wanted him gone as quickly as possible for the sake of a quiet life, but Leah nodded her head north and took off. Paul let her lead and followed at some distance behind Carlisle, still opposite sides of the treaty line. His phone rang and he answered without looking. “Esme?” 

“Thank God,” Alice replied. “Are you alright? You disappeared too!” 

“Leah Clearwater and Paul Lahote know where she is, I think. They’re taking me to her.” 

“Better not be a trap,” Alice hissed. The wolves heard her through the phone and snapped in response. 

“I trust them. I’ll call when I have her.” He hung up and continued the run through the forest. After what felt like a lifetime, he picked up Esme’s scent. It came from the east and curved along the treaty line up north along the path they were following now. “Thank God!” he nearly wept. 

Up ahead in a small clearing, there Esme was. She was walking slowly, seeming to follow a path from tree to tree, and Sam Uley, enormous in his wolf form, mirrored her steps on his side of the treaty line. 

“Esme!”

Carlisle ran to her and collided with her, wrapping her in his tight embrace with no warning. She jumped and smiled up at him in confusion once she realised who it was that held her. “Carlisle, are you alright?” 

“Oh, God!” He kissed her forehead, her cheeks, her hair, and held her so tight she could not breathe. “Alice said you disappeared, I thought-! I feared-! God, Esme, I was so frightened!” Suddenly he gripped her arms and pushed her back slightly to look her in the eye. “Why didn’t you answer your phone?” 

She was so surprised at his distress that she could barely answer. “My- my phone?” 

“I rang you! So many times! You didn’t answer!”

Her mouth hung open and she shook her head to come back to herself, taken off-guard. “I didn’t hear it!” Esme pulled her phone from her pocket and held it up to him - no missed calls. No service, either. “They didn’t come through.”

Carlisle let out a sigh and held her close again, a lot more gentle this time. Closing his eyes, he ran his nose through her hair and cradled the back of her head with his hand. Esme looked over his shoulder at the three watching wolves and blinked, shy with their audience. “Darling,” she murmured. He pulled back and followed her gaze. 

“Thank you so much for bringing me to her,” he told them sincerely. Whether or not his thanks was welcome he could not tell. Carlisle looked back at his wife. “What are you doing all the way up here, anyway?” 

“I caught a scent, I wanted to follow it. I think I got too close to the treaty line, and Mr Uley met me and made sure I kept to it.”

“Did he hurt you?” Carlisle murmured quietly. 

“Of course not. And if he did, it would have been because of my own mistake, you know that.”

Carlisle let out another sigh and nodded. Sam was honourable and good - despite the tension between the Cullens and the pack, Carlisle and Esme had never doubted that they were in no danger from the wolves. “I apologise, of course you would not hurt us without cause,” he said, looking at the alpha. “Thank you, again. Come on,” he added, turning back to Esme, “let’s go home.” 

“No, I found the scent and we should follow it as far as we can.”

Carlisle glanced at the wolves but they did not make a move to object, and he followed Esme’s lead. They tracked the scent around the edge of the treaty, slowly getting further north-west until they met the ocean. There, the scent disappeared into the water. It was impossible for Carlisle to let his wife’s hand go, still so shaken was he by Alice’s vision - or lack thereof. He had never had to face the possibility of Esme no longer existing. As fleeting as that moment had been for him, it had terrified him. Never again. Never again would he go through that. He almost started trembling at the thought, but when Esme turned to look at him, hair windswept atop the cliff, her eyes bright in the twilight and her smile like the sun, he was soothed. He took a deep breath, smelling her on the salty air, and he hugged her close. “I love you.” 

Chapter Text

Prompt: Carlisle's greatest fear 

Watching Jasper charge Esme was difficult for the Cullens to watch. The wolves watched from the shadows, learning everything they could about the way the vampires fought so that they could best prepare for the upcoming battle. Carlisle did not blame them - if he were in their position, he would be paying careful attention, too. He had watched with a sharp eye as Jasper had sparred with Rosalie, with Emmett, Edward, and Alice, but this was different. This was Esme. And Esme was no fighter. 

At his side, Rosalie grasped his hand. They both winced when Jasper locked his arms around her neck and grasped her head as if to rip it from her shoulders. She wasn’t as fast as the others and she wasn’t as strong. She didn’t have the abilities that Edward and Alice did that put them at an advantage over their enemies, and she didn’t have Emmett’s strength, or Rosalie’s vicious determination, or Jasper’s skill. She was the weakest, the most vulnerable. When Jasper grabbed both of her arms behind her back and pressed his foot between her shoulder blades as if to tear her limb from limb Carlisle could stomach it no more. “Enough!”

Jasper had already let her go and was beginning to explain how she could have avoided it, and everyone looked at the patriarch in surprise. “Carlisle, she needs more training than anyone else,” Jasper pointed out. 

She clenched her teeth and nodded. “He’s right. I won’t be a burden, I want to know how to my part.”

Carlisle looked down at the forest floor, keenly aware of the audience they had. He nodded. Rosalie squeezed his hand again when the sound of Jasper crashing into his mother echoed around the clearing. 

After the wolves had taken their scent and taken their leave, and Edward had taken Bella home, Carlisle could barely look at Jasper. For the sake of their guests, Carlisle had maintained an air of easiness, comradery, and congeniality, minor outburst aside, but now it was just the family, he let his weakness overcome him. This presented itself initially as silence. Emmett and Jasper were in high spirits after the sparring and even Alice’s mood was much improved. They ran off ahead of Rosalie, Carlisle, and Esme who kept a more moderate pace, and after a few miles of intolerable silence, Rose darted off after them. 

When they were alone, Esme stopped. “Will you look at me?” 

Carlisle looked at the forest floor. He looked at the undergrowth, the trees, the leaves, the sky, and at last, he looked at his wife. She was upset. 

“I’m sorry if I embarrassed you back there,” she said quietly. 

That surprised him. “Embarrassed? Why would I be embarrassed?” 

“Because I’m not fit for this. I cannot protect our family like the rest of you. I am the weak link. I know it was hard for you to see, I saw you look away.” 

“Oh, God, Esme.” He went to her and wrapped his arms around her and kissed her hair. “I’ve never been anything but proud of you. Tonight included. God, no, it wasn’t an embarrassment. It was seeing my greatest fears come to life.” 

She hugged him tight around his back and pressed her face into his shoulder. “It’s easier for me to believe that you are embarrassed.”

“Why?” 

“Because if I die in the coming battle, I can’t bear to think about what that would leave behind.”

“You’re not doing to die.”

“I might. I’m a poor fighter. I don’t want to kill anyone and I take no pleasure in it, even if it’s to protect the family.”

When Carlisle pulled away and cupped her face in his hands, he looked ragged. “Esme, you are not going to die. You’re not. I won’t allow it.” 

Her lip trembled. “Please prepare yourself to know that I might. You need to be prepared to live if it should happen.”

“Stop it.” His voice was close to begging and it looked like he would cry, if he could. “I can’t even… God, no, It won’t… I can’t… not without you, Esme.” 

She swallowed thickly. “I don’t know what to do. I’m frightened. I don’t think I can do this.” 

“You can. We can.” He held her tight again, as if he was scared to ever let her go. “We’ll ask Jasper for more help. We’ll learn how to fight together as a team. I won’t let you do this alone. You won’t fall. I won’t let you.” 

Chapter Text

Prompt: Esme is jealous of one of Carlisle's flirty co-workers 

Warning: mentions of low self-esteem 

Esme liked to pick Carlisle up from work. The hospital was on the way to the school, so sometimes Edward or Rosalie would drop him off in the morning and Esme could pick him up in the evening. She liked to look nice for him, too, and whilst her cream jumper and blue jeans weren’t anything special, she felt cosy. Alice advised her to pair the look with brown boots that had her four inches taller and Esme had admired how it had made her figure look. She liked to look nice for him. 

The kind lady on reception greeted her. “Evening, Esme. I just saw him go that way,” she pointed to the corridor opposite the front entrance, “would you like me to page him?” 

Esme smiled warmly. “Hello, Beverley. No, that’s alright, thank you, I’ll wait in his office.” 

“Well you let me know if he takes too long, I’ll sort him out.” 

“I don’t doubt that,” Esme laughed. The woman was in her late sixties and, like any good receptionist, had every doctor and nurse wrapped around her little finger. “But that’s quite alright, I don’t mind waiting.” 

Like every other place he had worked, Carlisle’s office was empty of decoration and personality. Most of the walls were blank, save for a landscape she had painted of the English countryside after their recent trip. No medical degrees, no certificates, nothing to indicate the name or accomplishments of the man who worked here. Still, it smelled like him. Esme sat in the leather chair behind the desk and stroked the arms. 

It was easy to get lost in memories of their trip and she settled back to remember their boating expedition on the Norfolk Broads. She thought of the family of otters they had seen frolicking in the water and smiled. 

Not much time went by before she could hear Carlisle’s voice drifting up the corridor along with a woman’s voice she didn’t know. The woman was laughing. “Oh Carlisle, you’re so funny!”

Carlisle chuckled. “Could you tell my children that? I try to amuse them and so often it falls flat!” 

“Surely not!” the voice exclaimed. It reminded Esme of how Tanya sometimes joked with Edward on her more flirtatious days. “That boy Emmett of yours seems to have a great sense of humour, doesn’t he back you up?” 

Esme’s eyes widened. When had this woman met Emmett? 

“Sometimes! But he likes to deliver a punchline more than he likes to hear one.” Ta-tap, ta-tap, the click of his shoes echoed down the corridor. There was a rustle of paper, cold, hard skin sliding over pages; he was reading as he walked. 

“I liked him!” The woman and Carlisle were just outside of the closed door now. The woman skipped a few steps and Esme could see in her mind’s eye that she was now in front of Carlisle. “I like his father, too.” 

“I like you, too!” Carlisle said cheerfully. “It’s nice to work with someone that one finds cheerful and personable!” 

The woman laughed. There was the sound of a soft hand on the cotton of Carlisle’s sleeve. “That makes me very happy.” She dropped her voice, but the smile was still in it. “Would you like to meet for a drink after work one day this week? We finish early on Thursday night, how about it?” 

“That sounds very nice. Who else had you thought about asking?” 

There was a sultry edge to the woman’s laugh. “Just us, Carlisle. You know, you and me?” 

“Oh. Oh. You know, I’m very flattered, but I have a wife who- who I’m very- very fond of-”

“I won’t tell her if you don’t.” 

“No, it’s not like that, it’s… you’re very lovely, but I-” The handle of the door twitched as he grabbed it. 

“It’s alright, I’ve seen how you look at me, so have others. We get on so well, c’mon, I can be discreet-” 

“No, thank you-” Carlisle pushed the door of the office open and his eyes fell on Esme where she sat. He looked uncomfortable. The woman’s heart was racing. 

Esme swallowed down the venom that had seeped into her mouth and smiled as warmly as she could. “Oh, I thought you had finished for the day. Would you like me to leave while you finish talking?” 

“No!” Carlisle said quickly and he held out his hand to call her over. Stiffly, Esme walked to his side and surveyed the woman. She was beautiful, there was no doubt about it, tall and slender and with flaming red hair and cheeks speckled with freckles. She looked at Esme with piercing green eyes and smiled easily. “Darling, this is my colleague Doctor Robinson. Doctor Robinson, this is my wife, Esme.” 

“Please, call me Zoe,” the woman said, handing out a hand. Esme shook it, ignoring the pulse at her throat. “Carlisle never mentioned he was married.” 

Esme glanced down at Carlisle’s hand and smiled. “A pleasure to meet you, Zoe. Does my husband neglect wearing his wedding ring?” 

“No, I don’t, I always wear it” Carlisle said, less calm than usual. “Let me grab my coat and we can get going.” 

Esme nodded and stepped away from him. The woman looked the most casual of the three of them. “Well, I best be off, I’ve got some paperwork to catch up on. Let me know if Thursday works for you, Carlisle, and I’ll arrange the meeting. Pleasure to meet you, Esme.” 

Esme did her best to speak kindly. “And you, Doctor Robinson. Enjoy your shift.” 

The door was closed and they heard her walking down the corridor. Esme looked at Carlisle. “Darling, I never-” 

She held up a hand and shook her head slightly. “It’s alright.” 

“I never meant to encourage her, and I do talk about you, I talk about you all the time!” 

Esme winced. “You don’t need to justify yourself.” 

They walked in silence to the car and Esme handed him the keys to drive. Once they were inside and the engine hummed quietly to life, the territorial instinct in Esme had subsided slightly. Sadness replaced it. “She’s very pretty.” 

“She’s just a friend, darling.” 

Esme nodded and looked out of the window. The lights of the city rolled over the night sky in a haze she could not focus on. “We’ve been married for a very long time. It wouldn’t be surprising if you were… if you got bored of me and wanted to… to try something else.” 

“Esme.” Carlisle sounded shocked. He rested his hand on her thigh but she twisted her body away from him. “I have never been bored of you. I have never had the desire to- to try something new. Have you?” 

“No.” 

“You are all I have ever wanted and all I have ever needed. There will never be another. I thought you knew that?” 

She was silent for a long moment. “I do.” Esme turned to look at him, not knowing how to say what was in her heart. 

He reached out to run his fingers through her hair and she let him touch her this time. “What are you thinking?”

“I’m thinking… that… that there’s only so much I can offer you. I have no medical experience or knowledge, I can’t stimulate you like your colleagues can, or Edward or Rosalie can, I can’t satisfy your desire for knowledge and the pursuit of it.” 

“You don’t need to,” Carlisle murmured softly. He glanced now and again at the road but his hand stroked her hair. “In the same way I don’t need to do the same for you with art and architecture. We have our own interests and pursuits, that’s how it’s always been. That doesn’t mean that you are anything less than my world.” It made sense and she nodded. “Is there anything I can say that will make you feel better?” 

Esme swallowed. “It’s… it’s ridiculous. Childish, really.” 

“What is it?” 

“I… I feel very… protective over you. Territorial is perhaps the better word. The idea of her laying a hand on you, it… it made me want… want to do things to her, to you…”

Carlisle’s expression darkened and she couldn’t tell if it was in a good way or bad. “What things?” 

“I- I don’t know. I think I just… I just wanted her to know that… that you’re mine. Whatever that means.” 

Carlisle’s expression was unfathomable. After a long pause, he nodded. “I am. Body and soul. Always.” 

Drawing in a deep breath, Esme could taste him in the air. She took the hand in her hair and kissed his knuckles, and held it between both of hers in her lap. “I’ll laugh about this tomorrow. But for now… I think I’m… unsettled.” 

“That’s understandable. I do not expect you to laugh about this if you do not wish to.” 

“I do. But not quite yet. I think tonight, I… I think I want to scream. I think that would make me feel better.” 

“Alright. Let’s take a detour home. Would you like to hunt?” 

Esme nodded. “Something big.” 

He cracked a smile and glanced at her again. “Will you protect me from a big and scary beast?” 

It was impossible not to smile in return. “Maybe. Would you like me to?” 

“Oh, wholeheartedly.”

Chapter Text

Prom[t: Carine/Esme fluff, Carine is late home from work one night 

Esme sat at the kitchen counter with Emmett as the clock struck 1 am, college applications spread out in front of them. He pointed without looking and sighed. “Okay. I pick this one.” 

“NYU?” Esme asked doubtfully. “That’s quite difficult to get into. But I suppose you have some time to get your grades up.” 

“Aw, can’t we do it like we used to? Just drop off a bag of cash and wait for them to come begging?” 

She laughed lightly. “We can’t keep doing that anymore, people get prosecuted for that nowadays.” 

“We’re not exactly people,” he pointed out, but he slapped his hand on another application form. “Alright. This one’ll do.” 

“Montana?”

Emmett lifted up his hands. “Hey, you left me in charge of choosing where to go next, I just left it up to fate! Can’t blame me.”

“Rose’ll never go for it,” Alice said as she drifted in and sat next to Esme. “Carine’s on her way home.” 

Esme pursed her lips and resisted making a comment, and Emmett chuckled. “Looks like someone’s in trouble.” 

“She’s not in trouble,” Esme protested delicately. “But she is very, very late. She promised me a hunt before it got dark but it’s a little too late for that.” 

“You can still hunt,” Alice reminded her, rubbing her arm affectionately. 

“Yeah, but it’s no fun when the bears are asleep,” Emmett replied with a wicked grin. Esme tried not to grin back but it was unsuccessful. She liked to play with her food as much as he did, but Alice was too dignified for all that. 

“Anyway,” Alice continued, rolling her eyes, “Montana’s a no-go. Rose wants to back to a city, you know that.” 

“Yeah, yeah, I know. I don’t like how far we have run to go hunting when we’re near cities, though, makes me nervous.” 

The three of them quickly fell into a debate about possibilities of where to live next, only very vague ideas as much of it would revolve around where Carine could easily slip into a hospital job without much fuss. Time passed and thirty minutes of lively conversation had gone by the time the sound of tyres crunching on the drive met their ears. 

Ignoring the butterflies in her stomach at the sound of her wife returning home, Esme pulled a purple-headed application towards her. “NYU?” 

Alice laughed loudly. “With Emmett’s grades? Oh Esme, you think too highly of him.” 

“Hey!” he protested. “I’m smart! I could get in if I wanted, couldn’t I?” 

“Of course you could,” Esme agreed, giving his cheek an affectionate pat. “But maybe not this cycle.” 

Alice laughed again and Emmett looked like he was going to argue before his booming laughter rang out. “Yeah, you’re probably right. But can you blame me? The teachers here are so boring, I haven’t got the attention span to keep up!” 

“Then why are your siblings all doing wonderfully?” came Carine’s voice. The younger vampires looked up at their older mother and exchanged grins. 

“Because they’re all know-it-alls, and I’m the only one left who’s down to earth.” 

Carine laughed. “Not with your head in the sky, you’re not. Good evening Esme.” She set her bag down at Esme’s seat and kissed her cheek. Esme pointedly turned her face but she could barely hold back her smile. 

“You’re late,” Alice reminded her. “Poor Esme has been waiting here bereft all night, poor thing. Didn’t know what to do with herself. How could you be so cruel, Carine?” 

“Oh, the pain she went through!” Emmett added theatrically, wrapping his arm around Alice’s shoulders in mock-support. “Tell her, Alice, tell her all about it!” 

“Practically starving,” Alice added, laying it on thick. “Such a kind soul, so deeply wounded! Abandoned in love!” 

“Add Julliard to the pile of applications,” Carine said smoothly, doing her best to ignore her children, but Emmett whipped around the counter and had his arm around her waist. 

“Oh, Mama, truly, would you want me to be an actor? Oh Ma, really?” 

“I take it you’ve had quite the uneventful day?” Carine asked, pretending not to be thoroughly amused but Emmett’s theatrics.

Emmet laughed again, loud and cheerful. “Can’t even begin to tell you! I hate sunny days, there’s nothing to do, especially with Jasper and Rose away! Why didn’t we go with them, Alice?” 

“Because they needed some time alone together and they haven’t had a trip with just them in years, we talked about this.” 

Emmett groaned. “Whatever.”

“Don’t sass your sister,” Esme reproached him gently. Carine stood at her back and went to hold her waist but Esme swerved the touch. 

Emmett snickered. “You’re in big trouble, Carine.” 

“Am I?” she asked, looking down at her wife with a sweet smile. 

“An awful lot,” Esme agreed, biting the inside of her cheeks to stop her grin. It was impossible to be irritated at Carine simply for loving her job. “You wouldn’t believe how much.” 

“Wrestle her, Esme, you can take her, I’ll back you the whole way!” Emmett laughed again. 

“Mama’s boy,” Alice said with a snort. He shoved her across the kitchen but she caught herself before she could smash the window on the far side. “Don’t do that!” 

He strode across the room and went for her again but she ended up on his back with tinkling laughter. “You know I can’t see you when you don’t think! Try that again and you might stand a chance, you don’t normally find that too hard!” 

“Outside before you break the house!“ Carine told them firmly but they were already halfway out of the door. Esme watched through the window as her giant of a son and wisp of a daughter battled it out in the field behind their home. She smiled fondly. 

Carine spun her in her chair to face her and smiled. “Good evening,” she said again. Her voice was lower this time. Esme’s knees parted and Carine stood between them. “I’m sorry I’m late.” 

“Are you? It’s past one in the morning.” Esme murmured, but there was no malice in it. She rested her hands on Carine’s waist and slid them to the small of her back. 

Leaning down until their lips almost touched, Carine stroked her wife’s caramel curls. “Yes. I missed you.” 

“Not enough to call.” Esme’s back arched up in an attempt to seal the kiss but Carine wanted to tempt her. 

“I knew if I called and heard your voice, I’d come running home, my darling.” 

“Liar,” Esme sighed with laughter in her chest. “But I’m glad you’re home now. Kiss me like you always do.” She closed her eyes, waiting for her wife’s lips on her own. 

Instead, Carine’s kiss was at her neck. Still standing and leaning down over her, soft blonde hair swept Esme’s skin and velvet kisses made her bite her lip. She tilted her head to the side and was rewarded with a gentle bite on her ear lobe. “I did miss you,” Carine breathed against her skin, and Esme shivered. “I thought about you all day.” 

“Mm? What did you think about?” 

A strong arm came around Esme’s back and suddenly she had been lifted into Carine’s embrace. Esme wrapped her legs around her wife’s waist and clutched her hair as the kisses at her neck got longer, her tongue tasting her skin. “This,” Carine whispered. As she carried Esme upstairs to their room, she fumbled with the buttons on her blouse and ran her nose along her collarbone. “Quite inappropriate thoughts kept me company for most of the day and night.” 

Esme could barely reply under the onslaught of sudden affection. “Is that so? How improper, Doctor Cullen.” 

Carine grinned at the way her wife said her title and name. She kissed a long line down her exposed chest and licked over her breast. She was rewarded with a sigh. “Am I forgiven for being late?” She dropped Esme on the bed and fell to her knees in front of her. Strong hands began their work in freeing her from her clothes. 

“Maybe.” Esme watched her with dark eyes, soft hair spilling over soft sheets. “That depends.” 

“On what, my darling?” 

Esme just smiled, her teeth between her lips, and she pressed her hand against the back of Carine’s head to guide her mouth down. 

Chapter Text

Prompt: things said through gritted teeth

Warnings: mentions of infertility 

“You can’t keep doing this.” 

Esme stood facing the window that looked into the nursery on the maternity ward. She was smiling to herself, but she was hugging herself tightly as if trying to hold herself together. 

“I know,” she sighed, not looking at her husband. “But it was on my way out.” 

She didn’t often come to the hospital - the stench of blood was everywhere - but with Rosalie and Emmett commandeering the house, she didn’t know where else to go. Carlisle hadn’t been able to keep her company for long, and she had figured she would go to the library for a while instead. The maternity wing of the hospital was between Carlisle’s office and the parking lot. 

“I hate to see you upset.” He stood at her side, looking over the rows of cribs and nurses that tended to the newborns. 

“I’m not upset,” she lied. 

He closed his eyes, his teeth gritted in pain. Nothing hurt him more than her suffering. “My darling, this isn’t good for you. Look, you’re trembling.” 

Esme glanced down at one of her hands and saw how it shook. It surprised her. She didn’t feel particularly upset. It usually hit her later. “Oh.” 

“This isn’t good for you, Esme, we’ve talked about-”

“I know.” She pursed her lips hard and sighed. There were creases on her brow. “I just… it brings me as much joy as it does pain. Just thinking about a different life, my first son and children we might have had-”

“Esme,” Carlisle said softly. Finally, she looked at him. He was sad when he took her hand and stroked the back of it with his thumb. “It does you no good to dwell on these thoughts.” 

He was right. They had talked about it many times, how they both longed for natural children but how life was sweet just as it was, and how they could not drown in remorse for what would never be. She smiled at him weakly and sighed again. “I know.” 

“Would you like me to finish for the day? I only have meetings, they can be arranged if you like, I don’t mind.” 

“No, no, that’s quite alright. I’m alright. I promise.” 

He kissed her forehead and he held her hand and they walked away from the window and down the corridor. He led her out to the car and kissed her cheek. “I love you, Esme, just as you are. And I love our life, just as it is. You do know that, don’t you?” 

Her smile was wider this time, happier. She straightened his crooked tie. “I do. And I love you, and our life, just the same.” 

Chapter Text

Prompt: things you weren't meant to hear 

Featuring Emmett 

Warnings: mentions of blood, animal death 

“I’ve got the one to the east!” Emmett shouted triumphantly and he veered off from the path that they had been following. He sped through the forest and was out of sight in a heartbeat as Esme and Carlisle let the trail pull them north. Carlisle wasn’t thirsty but Esme was. He liked to watch her hunt. 

A lone bear grazed in a clearing ahead. They could hear the snuffles it made as it pushed its snout through the undergrowth in search of berries. Its heartbeat was thick and wet. Esme stopped herself at the edge of the clearing and Carlisle mirrored her. Her lips were pulled back over her teeth as she looked at her prey. Her dark eyes flitted to Carlisle and she grinned, excited. It was difficult for her to hunt with anyone else, her instincts made her protective over her prey, but Carlisle was different. He loved her like this; wild. She looked back at the enormous black bear and bent into a crouch. 

Stealth was her weapon of choice this evening, the clouds across the twilight sky helping her to hide in the overgrown flora. She crept silently behind the bear and Carlisle watched from the shadows, his eyes dark with a different kind of hunger. There was a quiet hiss at the back of his throat when he saw her bend lower and his hands balled into fists at his side. Esme threw a glance over her shoulder at him, eyes glinting and her back arched in response to his stare. She knew he liked to watch her. 

The bear didn’t know the earth from the sky when Esme walked lazily in front of it and hooked her arm around its neck. One short roar that was cut off by a gurgle was the only indication it knew what had happened. Esme snapped its neck with ease and hissed in anticipation. The body was hot and fresh, the heart stammering its last beats. She almost trembled with need and she sank her teeth into the bear’s neck. Fur didn’t bother her anymore. 

Hot blood rushed down her throat and she groaned quietly as she drank and drank and drank. Flames that scorched her from heart to head were soothed and she clutched the huge carcass to her, blissful. As she drank, she heard the rustle of footsteps and her eyes flew open. It was alright, it was Carlisle. He crouched beside her, his eyes full of dark desire, and she watched him, still drinking. There was enough in this body to quench two hungry vampires. 

Esme started to pull away and offer him her kill but he shook his head, bottom lip between his teeth. 

“No,” he murmured. “Keep drinking.” 

His large hand went to her hair and she obeyed. She was thirsty, but she wanted him, too. He looked at her in such a way that made her feel half devoured already. The look in his eye was deadly. She closed her eyes and concentrated on her kill. 

Carlisle ran his hand through her hair. “Good girl.” 

Those words threatened to unhinge Esme. They always did. She moaned as she drank and the noise rumbled in her chest. A blind hand came out to grasp the front of Carlisle’s shirt and she pulled him to her, kissing him with blood-smeared lips. She was aflame, not knowing if she wanted her kill more, or her mate. Both. Both at the same time. He held her by the back of her neck and guided her away from him and back to the bear’s body. “Keep going. You’re still thirsty.” 

He was right. They had to remind each other regularly of their hunger, as they noticed it in each other more than themselves more often than not. But he slid his hand down her chest and stomach, and his lips found their place at her throat. Esme groaned against the carcass again, sucking on it hard, as Carlisle’s fingers found their place between her legs. 

After, they found their way back to Emmett who’s shirt was slashed across the chest. He looked pleased with himself. 

“Are you all done?” Esme asked, and she reached out an arm to wrap around his waist. Carlisle held her other hand. 

“Just about,” he replied, grinning. “It was a feisty one, that one. Gave its best shot, but not good enough!” His laughter was booming. He was happy. “What about you two? All finished?” 

“Yes, it was a big one. It should last me a few weeks.” 

“I’ll bet,” Emmett laughed. Esme gave him a questioning look and he winked down at her. “Good girl?” 

Esme’s jaw dropped and she looked at Carlisle for help. He covered his mouth to hide his embarrassed smile. “You- heard that?”

“I wasn’t that far away! Of course I did! And the rest! Right pair, you two.” 

Esme looked mortified but it made Emmett laugh all the louder. He squeezed her against his side as they walked even when she tried to move away. “So how long’ve you been into that?” 

“Emmett!”

“What? It’s nothing to worry about! It’s hot, though. Carlisle sounded into it.” 

He grinned at Carlisle over Esme’s head but the older vampire looked pointedly at the path ahead of him, refusing to give Emmett the satisfaction of an answer. Esme covered her face with her hands. “Please don’t tell anyone else!” 

“Can’t promise that!” Emmett sounded very cavalier. “But I’ll do my best - if you’re a good girl.” 

Esme shoved him and he let himself be thrown off the path into the woods before bounding back with mirth. “Alright, alright, I won’t say anything. Well, I’ll try not to. Might mortify Ed though, and he’s due a good mortification.”

Chapter Text

Prompt: things said with no space between us 

Chapter Text

Promot: things you said right before goodbye 

Context: Esme/Carine (Carlisle's female counterpart in Life and Death)

Chapter Text

Prompt: things said at the top of your lungs 

Warnings: description of the newborn army fight in Eclipse