Work Text:
~Written by Aux.
~3-6-2022: Aux made some edits, substituting Volodymyr Zelenskyy for Alsac Gravallo in the AU. Gravallo will return as a different character sometime in the future.
~The mispelling of Zelenskyy as Zelenskiy is purposeful, as it denotes that that version of the real-life man is from the AU, not real life.
[Company]
Twenty. Twe-twe-Twenty…
Twe-twe-twenty
[Volodymyr Zelenskiy]
Twenty BBY.
How do the Bastard, orphaned
Victorious, uncelebrated, war vets
Unite two galaxies in confidence?
Fight the Jedi, Senate, Seps, somehow do not lose it.
See it all, take the fall
Ya ready for more shit?
Observers in place. Prophets in the ‘Public.
Ev’ry appearance sets off another clique.
Hey not so fast, we seem to have hit some resistance.
She’ll piss anyone until they settle for subsistance.
You haven’t met ‘er yet, no one’s had the chance
Cause she’s been busy clappin’ ass with the seps!
Well someone’s gotta keep McQueens treat… gah.
Ya’ll we gotta meet Chang’e! Chang’e!
[Company]
Chang’e Moon arrives today!
Chang’e Moon arrives today!
Chang’e Moon arrives today!
Chang’e Moon arrives today!
Chang’e Moon arrives today!
Lord she’s been in Beijing for so long!
Uuh-ooh.
Uuh-ooh.
[Chang’e Moon]
Seppratists don’t take kind to revolution
We must re’stablish status quo.
But the sun comes up and the clock still ticks.
[Ensemble]
Uuh-ooh.
[Chang’e]
Ol’ man Ping got me elected
So now I gotta go!
I gotta be in a meetin’
Now where should I begin?
[Ensemble]
Uuh-ooh.
[Chang’e]
So what did I miss?
What did I miss?
Haah
I’m already to dive inta politics!
Mm.
I’ve been on Raxus gettin’ the whole grand tour.
Ain’t been talkin’ ‘bout the war.
I just don’t get why we’re comin’ back to this?
[Ensemble]
Uuh-ooh.
[Chang’e]
A calls just come in from the councilmen.
Haven’t even been in for ten.
Houyi, be a dear and get ta listenin’.
[Houyi]
It says the councilmen are callin’ up a me-a-tin
They’re sayin’ your attendance is mandatory
[Chang’e]
Glory!
[Houyi]
And it’s a for a half past two.
[Chang’e]
I just got in and now I’m headed to H.Q.
[Ensemble]
Headed to H.Q.
Headed to H.Q.
[Chang’e (Ensemble)]
Watchin’ all the speeders fly I can’t remember why I came. (Why I came)
I’m a ready to face anybody in my way. (in my way)
And who’s been with me every step of the way?
My husband, Houyi’s got something to say.
He takes my hand and I reply “What’s on your mind?” (Uh-ooh!)
[Houyi]
Chang’e you are engaged in a battle for our planets very fate. The place’s just become one hot mess.
[Ensemble]
Uuh-ooh.
[Houyi]
The proposition on the table’s not bad
I must confess.
But I’m afraid you’re on your own.
We’ve gotta win.
[Chang’e]
Relax.
[Ensemble]
Uuh-ooh.
[Houyi]
You got this.
[Chang’e (Ensemble)]
What’d I miss?
(Wha? Wha? What’d I miss?)
What’d I miss?
(I’ve come here for this?)
Pleasantries aside let’s get down ta business.
(Let’ get down to business)
I have my first council meetin’ today.
(Crack-a-pow!)
I’m gonna have to have something to say.
Well I’m ready on ma way (on my way)
To get to the bottom of this…
(What did I miss? Uuh-ooh)
[Volodymyr Zelenskiy]
Observer Moon, come on back.
[Destiny Binter Prophet]
Observer Moon? Destiny Binter Prophet.
[Zelenskiy, Ensemble]
Observer Moon come on back!
[Company]
Observer Moon, welcome ack. Ma’am it’s nice of you to join us!
[Chang’e]
So what’d I miss?