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“Tell me… do you ever feel a strange sadness as dusk falls?”
Din remembers the question catching him off guard, her gentle voice interrupting his thoughts.
They sat on the open ramp of the Razor Crest as the binary suns of Tatooine began to slip below the horizon. Her legs were bent and pulled close to her chest, arms holding them close with her chin rested on top of her knees. He’s rather relaxed, legs sprawled out on the ramp as he watched the kid play in the sand.
Her words were spoken softly, and he almost would have missed them if it weren’t for the enhancements of his helmet. Almost.
As Din turned his head in her direction, he studied her face as she stared out at the horizon. He remembers the dark circles under her eyes and the solemn look on her face as she took a deep breath and continued speaking.
“They say that it’s the only time when our world intersects with theirs… the only time we can feel the lingering regrets of spirits who have left our world.”
At the time, Din did not understand what she meant. He was never one to contemplate on what happens after dying, nor did he ever wonder about his last regrets. He’s been through enough near-death experiences to write a series of holobooks, and never once had he considered if there was anything he would regret.
In that moment, however, he let her speak her mind as he wrapped an arm around her shoulders and brought her close to his side, offering comfort for her somber thoughts.
It’s during moments like these that Din remembers her words - moments where he is alone with nothing but his thoughts and the red sunset before him.
Moments where he remembers that the kid is no longer under his care.
Moments where he remembers that she is gone forever.
…And Din finally begins to understand what she had meant.
Every sunset he’s seen since her death reminds him of her words. They play on repeat through his mind as he stares motionless at the suns falling in the sky.
Finally, he understands.
Feelings of melancholy rush through him like the finest spice in the galaxy. He wonders if these are her regrets manifesting themselves in his emotions, allowing him to feel what every lingering touch and stolen glance has meant to her.
Din starts to feel his own regrets bubbling in his chest. He regrets never telling her how much he appreciates what she’s done for not just him, but for the kid as well. He regrets not telling her the true meanings of mesh’la and cyar’ika and every other loving pet name he had for her.
Most of all, Din regrets not telling her how much he loved her.
He understands, and he finally allows the tears to free themselves from his eyes.
All at once, Din finally realizes that he is truly alone in this galaxy.
“That is why loneliness always pervades the hours of twilight…”