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This is it.
The day has finally come, where Nakajima Atsushi finally fesses up and confesses his feelings to Akutagawa, a classmate of his.
After a whole semester — which is six months — of torture, both for Atsushi himself and his friend group, will finally end! God, Atsushi even went through five stages of grief just to stop being in denial.
Atsushi cannot believe his life has come to this. Confessing to the emo edgelord, the Akutagawa Ryuunosuke?! No, having a crush over that guy? Atsushi genuinely is in disbelief at how low his standard is in men now.
…Maybe not that low, but still!
They’re practically soulmates, but in an enemy kind of sense. They’re the polar opposite of each other, Atsushi who enjoys Taylor Swift and there’s Akutagawa who enjoys Mitski. Atsushi is a literature kind of person, while Akutagawa excels in math and physics. How do they even interact, no one knows!
They’re so different, there’s no way in hell, or heaven, can they be in a relationship. It’s banned in every universe; Atsushi won’t even be surprised if in some universe where Akutagawa is in a mafia group and he is a detective. Or something like that.
And currently, it’s absolutely hellish. For some reason, Dazai knows about his stupid crush (he prefer to call it a pest, really) and spread it to their friend group. Atsushi truly wants to punch the older man, but he can’t bring himself to do it.
Which brings us to here.
“I figured, your eyes are always sparkling or gloomy when you see Bangs Boy.” Ranpo shrugged nonchalantly. “Too obvious Atsushi. Way too obvious!”
Of course Ranpo would know. Atsushi still shivers when he remembers how Ranpo got 100 in all of his exams and easily topped the school’s rankings. Still! It’s unfair how they figured it out in less than five minutes and Atsushi himself had a crisis for half a year .
He never signed up for this and his friends are menaces to the society, so it’s a loss for him.
“I’m here to ask for advice—yes I am a loser —but that’s not an excuse to make fun of me like this.” Atsushi huffed, his cheeks flaring red.
Dazai snorts at that. “Sushi, my child, you are not a loser—Chuuya is.”
“And why would you tell everyone about this? I trusted you, Dazai-san!”
Yosano wheezed somewhere in the background and Kunikida let out the loudest and longest sigh Atsushi ever heard. Poor him. “This is why you don’t trust Dazai, that little shit.”
“I’m offended, Kunikida-kun!” Dazai whined playfully, once again Atsushi’s body was used as an outlet of vigorous — not really, considering how gangly Dazai is — shaking.
This is hell, and he never signed up for this.
Yosano shook her head and gave him a pitying smile, mouthing a ‘ meet me later, I’ll help ’. Relief made him sag his shoulders, not bothering Dazai and Kunikida fighting right on his ears anymore.
God , finally some advice that will actually help him.
“Here, Atsushi-kun!”
Atsushi turned his head at the voice, his growing smile dropping slightly when he saw Kouyou.
Someone who knows Akutagawa well.
“…Yosano-san? What is…” Atsushi scrambles his mind to word it politely, “…Kouyou-san doing here?”
Yosano gave the boy a knowing smile, and that gave a shiver to him. She pats a vacant seat beside her, which he complies obediently, finger fidgeting.
Atsushi blinked, his pupils dilating between the two women, his question going unanswered. It was tense for a moment, except for the two graceful women sipping their tea like noblewomen.
Thankfully, it seems that Kouyou picked up his mild anxiety and decided to speak up. “So Atsushi, a little birdie told me about your little crush on Ryuunosuke.” Yeah, no , that did not help at all.
Tapping his feet on the floor, Atsushi tried (a crucial keyword) to keep his composure and not explode into pieces, because— Jesus Christ —Kouyou is blunt. Atsushi cleared his dry throat, his mouth felt like it got stuffed by cottons.
“Yeah, I do. Did Yosano-san tell you?” It was a miracle how his voice did not waver at all.
“Mhm, the rumours spread like wildfires. It’s a surprise how that fool, Ryuunosuke, didn’t hear a single word of it.”
Thank lord for that, honestly.
Yosano looks up from her cup, a smile adorning her face. “Well, Sushi, we are going to help you hint the oblivious boy of course! With Kouyou’s intel about his inner circles and all and my help in wooing, you’ll have Akutagawa dancing on your palm soon enough!”
Kouyou looked quite disdained. “That sounds so wrong, Akiko.”
“That’s what I’m aiming for, glad to know I did it.”
“What do you mean—?”
“Close your ears, o thee child of the God.”
Day 1, starting a conversation
Atsushi looked at the piece of paper grimly, like it’s a paper promising death with his name written on it and the grim reaper is standing in front of him—okay, maybe that’s too dramatic but the sentiment stays . He peeked at the black-haired boy just across the hall, focused on his phone.
His brain is running at the speed of light for ideas on how to start a conversation, Albert Einstein himself would be so jealous.
Mustering up his courage, he walked to the boy’s direction, his heart skipping a beat or two at every step.
“Hey Akutagawa! Haven’t seen you around lately!”
“We are in the same class, Nakajima.”
Oh. Isn’t that awkward?
Atsushi laughed nervously. “Uh—well, I meant that—I wanted to talk to you so that we’ll… know each other better?” The white-haired boy awkwardly offers.
On the other hand, Akutagawa looks… unimpressed to say the least. He internally sighs and closes his phone, finding Atsushi fumbling and making a (cute) fool out of himself. It’s weirdly endearing, but he doesn’t show it.
But okay, fine, whatever, Atsushi gives up and randomly blabbers whatever that comes into mind like that one time he saw Chuuya, an upperclassmen that ‘hated cats’, was cuddling with a stray grey cat or him complaining about Dazai changing his pencil into a piece of sharpened timber.
Plan number one isn’t a success, considering it’s just Atsushi talking Akutagawa’s ears off, so off to plan two!
Day 2, love letter
Listen, Atsushi didn’t think it'd get so sappy real quick. Love letter? Who even does that nowadays?! But seeing Yosano’s puppy eyes and Kouyou’s nodding was enough for him to do it; enduring the second handed embarrassment when he was writing the damn letter and actually putting it inside Akutagawa’s locker.
The whole day, Atsushi was extremely fidgety and nervous, wondering if Akutagawa somehow knows that he was the one who sent the letter or anything of the sort, really.
During break, Atsushi had to stalk the poor boy during lunch break, to see if Akutagawa checked his locker or not.
Really, life is really the weirdest thing, having so many different turns.
Alternatively, Nakajima Atsushi is the biggest idiot that ever graced the planet.
Because the damn pink letter with a heart sticker was placed in the wrong damn locker . That’s not even the worst thing, it was placed in Gin’s locker, Akutagawa Ryuunosuke ’s younger sibling! Yosano would laugh her ass off for this—and the possibility of her telling the whole friend group is high .
Atsushi hates himself. He will commit a Dazai and everyone will forget him and he’ll lose this stupid crush and—
Day 3, direct confession
Apparently, Yosano is a sadist .
After laughing her ass off (see, Atsushi totally called it) and even go as far as updating Kouyou on the news, she had told him one thing;
“That boy is bad at receiving vague hints. You should tell him directly.”
So, there he goes, to the school’s very artificial sakura tree that still stands even in autumn, looking incredibly out of place with it’s pink petals in the season of orange—
Akutagawa is sitting on the bench next to it, reading his history book.
Damn it, why does he look so good under the sakura tree in autumn ? This isn’t fair, at all , because Atsushi can feel his cheeks heating up at the mere sight of his crush, his heart beating out of his ribs.
This is going to be a fail .
On the other hand…
Let’s just say that Akutagawa isn’t faring that much better either.
The love letter from yesterday was obviously not for his younger sibling. But Gin, that menace to the society, had the audacity to spread it to their friend group. It’s not like he’s incredibly oblivious, he has some ideas on who it is.
And well, receiving another note on his locker with a scribble of a tiger shows it all.
Nakajima Atsushi .
He wins, he fucking wins in life. Akutagawa would thank every god in existence for this to finally happen. Atsushi has a crush on him too . It’s a mutual feeling.
Akutagawa did a round of breathing exercise to even out his breathing and possibly, calm down his own racing heartbeat. His eyes caught something behind the building, just 10 metres away from him—
White .
God, since when did he become so dramatic? It’s obviously Atsushi, and his mind is spinning at a speed he cannot comprehend—actually, how is he able to sit straight right now? The book is obviously a prop, he can’t absorb a single word from it—
“Akutagawa. You’re here early—”
“No, it’s only been 7 minutes and 39 seconds—”
He’s so embarrassing, can’t a rabbit hole appear and eat him whole then teleport him into another universe?
The younger boy looks stunned, his eyes widening and his pupils dilating. “Oh—well, that’s a relief. I wanted to tell you something but I…”
Atsushi inhaled deeply, his ears turning pink. “I really need you to not run away after hearing this.”
That sounds a little bit too ominous, but Atsushi’s heart is on his throat, the words are barely coming out, his body is so close to exploding .
He’s grateful that Akutagawa nodded, a faint smile forming. That was enough to make Atsushi’s cheeks heat up again, and god—he’s so obvious , isn’t he?
“I like you. More than friends, and definitely more than classmates—”
He did it. Nakajima Atsushi finally did it, confessing to his six months crush that gave him a gender and sexuality crisis in the first month. His six months crush that made him cry several times due to heartbreaks and confusion whether if it’s infatuation or an actually crush that’ll linger for a long time—
“I do too, Nakajima.”