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Pandemonium

Summary:

“Jimin, you can’t seriously be telling me that you’re okay eating mighty bananas for five days straight,” Jin turned on him.

“He would,” Jungkook chimed in mischievously. “He already sucks Yoongi’s banana every day.” He waggled his eyebrows for further effect.

“I do not!” Jimin stammered, blushing redder than a tomato.

“Yeah you do,” Yoongi smirked from below.

“Yoongi, please—”

There is never a shortage of chaos in the Bangtan Research Group.

Notes:

2022-11-11 update: This fic used to be a multi-chapter one-shot collection, but it has now been converted to a real AO3 series, where each fic is a standalone, but all events are compliant with each other in this BotW AU.

Series context: This story takes place in the present.

Work Text:

It was another day at the Bangtan Research Group.

No one said anything about it being a quiet day, or a peaceful day, or even a day where they actually conducted the research Bangtan was originally created for.

Just… a typical day.

“Please tell me you aren’t bringing all of that with us.”

Yoongi looked up with deadpan eyes. “As a matter of fact, Jin, I am.”

“But…” Jin cringed at the blindingly yellow sight in front of him. “There are so many of them! What is this, twenty? Can’t you leave room for other things?”

“They are extremely effective, which is why I’m packing thirty mighty bananas for when we fight the lynel tomorrow,” Yoongi defended from his seated position on the floor, surrounded by a large pile of fruit.

Jin let out a groan. “I understand that cooking mighty bananas can increase your strength, but so can other foods like razorshrooms. And it’s healthy to pair them with rice and vegetables for a balanced diet!”

“Why bother mixing in those ingredients when chucking five mighty bananas in a pot provides the maximum boost?” Yoongi argued. “Besides, where the fuck do you buy razorshrooms? Bananas are way easier to find in the wild, so it’s cost-effective as well.”

“It’s not about the money, but about the culinary experience! Ideally, an enjoyable one! Joonie, help me out here!”

“Jimin, back me up!” They dragged their respective boyfriends into the argument, with Hoseok, Taehyung, and Jungkook excitedly watching from the sidelines.

Namjoon lovingly rubbed Jin’s shoulder, diplomatically replying, “Jin, you know I love your cooking, and I’m really thankful that you make wonderful, diverse meals for all of us. But I can see Yoongi’s side as well. Sometimes, we need all the help we can get in battle.”

Jimin added, “Yoongi isn’t like this all the time. Outside of battle, he’s happy to cook a variety of dishes. You even said that he’s the best chef compared to the rest of us. This just happens to be a very long trip to fight a very strong opponent.”

“Jimin, you can’t seriously be telling me that you’re okay eating mighty bananas for five days straight,” Jin turned on him.

“He would,” Jungkook chimed in mischievously. “He already sucks Yoongi’s banana every day.” He waggled his eyebrows for further effect.

“I do not!” Jimin stammered, blushing redder than a tomato.

“Yeah you do,” Yoongi smirked from below.

“Yoongi, please

Hoseok rubbed his chin thoughtfully, hiding a lewd smile. “I bet we wouldn’t even be discussing this if this was Namjoon’s banana on the line.”

“Hoseok!” The boy in question laughed hysterically as Jin chased him around the room, but Hoseok was too quick, strategically hiding behind Namjoon, who held his hands up in a placating manner, begging Jin to calm down.

Taehyung decided to save Hoseok and take the bullet for the team, knowing that his next comment would throw any further attempts at calm, cool, and collected debate out the window.

“Hey, at least Yoongi’s not bringing monster cake on this mission.”

The look Jin gave him was absolutely withering.

“We do not speak of the monster cake incident in this house.”

 


 

After many tug-of-war battles between Jin and Yoongi, innuendos from Jungkook, fits of laughter from Hoseok, rants from Jimin, tangents from Taehyung, and soothing words from Namjoon, the Hateno household calmed down enough to reach a compromise. Yoongi grumpily agreed to bring only ten mighty bananas, while Jin would pack a variety of strength-boosting ingredients to cook most of their meals.

Finally, Namjoon sighed in relief as everyone went to bed. Running the Bangtan Research Group was no walk in the park, but he never regretted starting this venture. It was all worth it: the adventures across the world, the joy of discovering new things, and the deep connections with people he considered to be family. Yes, even if it meant that chaos would forever be in his future.

The next morning, Namjoon sighed in resignation as his prediction was proven true once again.

“Who in the name of Hylia put this in my bag?!” Jin bellowed with his face red with anger, holding up a purple bottle of monster extract. Jimin’s face was flushed for an entirely different reason, Yoongi’s eyes had an unreadable expression, while Hoseok was cackling and rolling around on the floor.

That left Taehyung and Jungkook clinging to each other, startled by Jin’s outburst.

“It wasn’t me, I swear!” 

“Kim Taehyung, don’t you dare lie to me. You’ve done this before, and I know you won’t hesitate to do it again!”

“No, I’m really telling the truth!”

“He really is!” Jungkook insisted, protectively standing in front of his boyfriend.

“Well then, who else would it be?!”

“It doesn’t matter,” Namjoon smoothly stepped in, plucking the offensive bottle out of Jin’s hands. “This won’t be coming with us. So there’s nothing to worry about, okay?”

Jin stared into kind eyes that never failed to calm him down. “Okay, Joonie.”

“Can I have that?” Yoongi asked, pointing at the monster extract.

“Yoongi, please

“No.” Namjoon swiftly poured the bottle’s contents out the window, the odor dispersing into the air. “If you really want it, you can get your own and not put it in Jin’s bag. Alright, if that’s all we have to discuss, let’s get going. We have a lynel to kill.”

As everyone shuffled about, collecting their belongings and heading out the door of their shared house, Hoseok picked himself off the floor, wiping tears of laughter from his eyes. It was kind of a bummer that his purchase went to waste, but the look on Jin’s face was absolutely hilarious. 100% worth it.

Yep. Just another day at Bangtan.

 

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