Work Text:
In Vince’s lair, Ivan is reading the newspaper, gazing his eyes to the headline.
MAN LOSES MILK TO MILK THIEVES!
Ivan didn’t express any emotions, but sighs a bit. Then Vince strides up to Ivan, his face red and his teeth gritted.
Vince: Ivan!
Ivan: What?
Vince, pulling out a empty milk carton: We’re out of milk!
Ivan: So?
Vince: Why haven’t you guarded the fridge?!
Ivan opens his eyes and stares at Vince. Vince groans and rubs his temples.
Vince: Just get milk! I need to relax!
Ivan rolls his eyes before shutting them and rolling up his newspaper. After wearing his trench coat and hat, he left the lair and set off to the nearest grocery store. Brad suddenly approaches towards Ivan, ready to sell something.
Ivan: Wha-
Brad: I heard ya need milk!
Ivan: Yes-
Brad pulls out his suitcase and opens it, grinning.
Brad: I got a special something for you!
Brad pulls out a cannon, grinning wider.
Brad: This milk cannon will shoot out milk in a-
Ivan simply pushes Brad away and goes to the grocery store. There, a bunch of people are held hostage by a bunch of men, the milk thieves wearing masks and pointing spray bottles filled with milk at the hostages. Ivan stares at the milk thieves. The milk thieves stares back.
Leader of the milk thieves, pointing straw at Ivan: Freeze!
Ivan: I am going to the next store-
Two milk thieves pounces on Ivan, before Ivan kicks the pair of milk thieves away. More milk thieves attack and Ivan fought them, using kicks and punches. Misty comes to the grocery store and freezes at the sight of Ivan and the milk thieves.
Misty: Uh-
Ivan stops to see Misty, before getting overwhelmed by the milk thieves. Ivan is now lying on the floor, tied up. Misty is about to leave, but she gets pounced on and tied up.
Leader of the milk thieves: You can’t leave when us milk thieves are here! Now we will steal your milk!
Ivan expresses no emotions, but his rage is growing in his mind. Misty shivers and whimpers in fear. Then Brad comes with the cannon.
Brad: Anyone want some milk?
The milk thieves then turns towards Brad, their eyes widening in glee. Brad grin slowly wavers as the milk thieves charges towards him. Brad pulled the trigger and the milk thieves are hit and knocked out by a ton of milk cartons. Every customer stares at Brad.
Brad: ... Anyone want the milk cannon?
Misty: Yes please! After you untie us though.
After everyone is untied with the help of Brad, they paid for milk cannons. Ivan comes back to the lair with the milk cannon in hand and gives it to Vince.
Vince: Sweet! The grocery store has milk cannons?
Ivan shook his head and Vince felt dread as Brad appears behind Vince, grinning.