Chapter Text
Chapter 1
Fitzwilliam Darcy ran a hand through his hair in frustration, then scrubbed at his eyelids with his palms. His mind wavered between, rage, disbelief and despair to have been rejected so vehemently by the only woman he could countance marrying. Seeing the edifice of Rosings Park in front of him as he walked, he attempted to take a deep breath and get himself back under control. He had left the parsonage and Elizabeth Bennet behind him before he did something he could not take back, such as kissing his little spitfire until she yielded and admitted what he had already determined, they belonged together.
He felt in absolutely no mood to deal with his aunt or her sniveling parson, he had much more pressing matters, namely how to correct Elizabeth's misconceptions about his character so that they could move forward. He did not trust himself to speak to her, the way her eyes flashed in anger put him in mind of thoughts that were decisively not gentlemanly about how all of that passion should be directed. He had been ashamed that his instincts were demanding he simply take what was his, her, while she announced how she would never be his. He had left before he forgot himself and compromised her with a kiss, staking his claim on her. He was determined that once she understood him better, she would agree to marry him and that he would never do anything so beastly as to take her choice away from her. He just had to make her see he was her choice.
With a grim face as he snuck into Rosings, he decided he would need to write her a letter. It would not be a letter renewing his offer, that would have to wait until he had corrected her erroneous thinking. Wryly he thought to himself that if he wanted her to read past the first paragraph he would have to assure her the missive was not a repeat of his offer that had been so disgusting to her. Ideally, she could be urged to forget how horrible she thought his offer and he would be much happier not reflecting on her refusal, but rather on how to move forward with her.
Her refusal had cemented even further his resolve to marry only her. Her assumptions were wrong, he thought to himself, thanks to one George Wickham, charming scoundrel and thorn in his side, but he was unsurprised by her principals and integrity in believing it was impossible for her to marry a dishonorable man. Once he cleared up her misconceptions, and she had time to reflect on what his actual character was, with perhaps some encouragement in prudence from her closest sister and confident, she would see that he was honorable and she should marry him. Her sister, Jane Bennet had been willing to enter marriage with a man she did not love at her mother's behest, surely she could be counted on to point out the advantages of a match with him to Elizabeth.
…
Darcy began his letter and addressed first her grievance against him regarding her sister, Jane, and his friend, Charles Bingley. He detailed how her sister betrayed no preference for Bingley and then the low station of Mrs. Bennet's family and the impropriety of Elizabeth and Jane's other family memebers. He made no apology, convinced he was in the right and that she would agree once the matter was laid out before her clearly and concisely.
Next, he recounted his history with Wickham. He alluded to the fact that Wickham behaved inappropriately and said that he displayed a want of principles. Darcy explained the truth behind the church bequest, how Wickham received money in lieu of signing away the right to it and how after spending the funds he attempted to claim the living. From there Darcy went on to record Wickham's worst offense, his attempted elopment with his young sister, Georgiana Darcy, in an attempt to gain her fortune.
After writing that Elizabeth could seek verification of what he relayed from his cousin, Col. Richard Fitzwilliam, Darcy paused to consider how he should end his missive. He was positive that her abhorrence of him would not last past her reflecting on his letter, but had decided to offer his cousin's collaboration anyways. Darcy decided that he should end with an indication that he would be ready to move forward with their relationship now that she was in possession of the facts. He dipped his pen back in the ink and began to write.
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I will only add that I anticipate our next meeting where cooler heads will prevail when we speak again and you have had time to reflect on all that has been revealed. God bless you.
Fitzwilliam Darcy
As, she read those words, Elizabeth glared at the page in front of her, denying any of it was possible. She sought to recall her acquitance with Wickham as she read through the section of the letter pertaining to him again, carefully examing each word and sentence. Vexed she realized she could think of nothing during her acquaintance with Wickham to prove Darcy's injustice to him. As she read she went from completely disbelieving, to grudgingly admitting both sides were plausible, to becoming convinced that she had been duped by Wickham. She angrily realized that she had been blind, prejudice and vain. Elizabeth was startled to see a drop of water land on the page her shaking hand held. A glance upward revealed it was not raining. Realizing she was crying in shame, she attempted to wipe her eyes. Feeling small and undeserving she curled up in a ball on the ground at the base of the tree nearest her and proceed to mentally berate herself for failing to see Wickham's true character and allowing herself to be deceived and used to spread his lies.
Once her bout of weeping in shame was over, Elizabeth carefully unfolded the letter and reread the part pertaining to Jane and her family. As she reread his words, she spoke out loud, vowing, “I will do better by all my sisters. I will protect and guide them. I will not permit the world to hold Jane, or any of them, in contempt or to expose them to such devastation as our family caused for Jane.”
His chastiment at the end she disregarded. While she was mortified and ashamed of her angry harsh words and support of Wickham, she did not repent her refusal, and had no desire to defer to him and his superior attitude if she should visit Charlotte again in the future at the same time he visited his aunt. If such an unlikely event did happen, she would be calm and collected and would proffer an apology, but she would not fawn and scrape over him or give him any reason to believe her meek and regretting losing such a prize as he saw himself. She snorted in amusement, he had said his resentment was implacable so she was not to surprised that he wished her to kowtow to him, if they, by some unlikely chance, did meet again.