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***
“Jungwonie!”
Yang Jungwon, the Gryffindor's seeker, is about to enter the Quidditch pit when a boy with complete Hufflepuff supporter attire runs towards him. He squints his eyes in a mocking manner while observing his best friend who just arrived in front of him. “What’s with all this hilarious yellow stuff around your body?”
“Well, Hufflepuff is going to play today,” the pink haired Hufflepuff, Kim Sunoo, cheers nonchalantly. Even with the hideous hats and ugly face painting, Sunoo's beauty does not falter.
“But I am going to play as well!"
“Don’t make me choose between you and my house team, you will never stand a chance. You know how loyal Hufflepuffs are.”
“What a traitor,” the younger of the two pouts. “You already chose to support Slytherin instead of Gryffindor during last week's match though,” he continues. A hint of jealousy is up in the air.
Sunoo lets out soft laughs hearing the Gryffindor’s whines. “Oh come on, I promised Riki since it is his first game as a captain for the Slytherin Quidditch team. Besides, ever since you got into the Quidditch team, I have always been supporting Gryffindor whenever you went against Ravenclaw or Slytherin, you realize that, right?”
Jungwon wants to deny it before he realizes that Sunoo’s statement is a fact. His best friend has been nothing but very supportive towards his Quidditch activity since their third grade. Despite having a lack of interest toward the game itself, Sunoo always made sure to watch every single match Jungwon had. “Um, I guess you got a point.”
“Of course,” the Hufflepuff smirks proudly before grabbing Jungwon’s cheeks with both of his hands. Not even with a single hesitation, Sunoo then brings his face closer to the red team’s seeker and starts bumping both of their noses together. He giggles, not noticing how red Jungwon’s ears are after receiving such affection.
“Just stop…” Jungwon playfully hits Sunoo’s head with his broom.
The Hufflepuff chuckles while taking a step back, “Alright, alright. Now go, our star seeker! Your captain has been waiting for you.” He points pass Jungwon's shoulder where the Gryffindor Quidditch team's captain, Lee Heeseung, and the team’s keeper, Park Sunghoon, have been standing not far away from them.
Shit, Jungwon knows so well how bad he’ll get teased later. He bids Sunoo goodbye and joins his teammates.
“Some lovey dovey moments with your boyfriend to recharge energy before the game, huh?” While smirking, Sunghoon starts his teasing.
“Please, you all know that he is my best friend,” the seeker shrugs the mocking stares his two seniors gave. “He and Riki are.”
“Oh is that so? Well, Heesung here, is also my best friend. We have been basically attached to the hip since our first year,” Sunghoon grabs the captain’s hand before trying to shove his face closer to the older one, only to get pushed away.
“No best friends do nose bumps regularly, Jungwon,” Heesung adds. And when Sunghoon won’t stop pestering him, he kicks the keeper’s leg while swearing, “This is disgusting, Sunghoon. Get away from me!”
The older two run ahead heading toward the pit, still jokingly pushing each other away.
But Jungwon’s steps get halted once again. He looks back toward Sunoo's direction, noticing how the pink haired boy and some of his housemates are moving to the supporters area. As the shadow of his best friend gradually loses from his sight, Heesung’s words keep replaying in his mind.
No best friends do nose bumps regularly, Jungwon.
And then he wonders, does Sunoo usually give Riki nose bumps too?
***
Becoming an auror has always been Jungwon’s dream. Growing up seeing both of his parents work hard using their magic to defend the wizarding world against the dark arts practitioners never fails to impress him.
He understands well that becoming one is not easy, people who want to train as auror are supposed to do brilliantly even during their academic days. That is why he prepares himself by taking five N.E.W.T.-level classes in his sixth year.
But now that he heard what his Quidditch team’s coach said after the game ends, he questions himself again.
“Consider this seriously, Yang. You’ll do so well in professional Quidditch teams. You are always precise in locating the snitch’s position, not to mention that your light body seems to move agilely and swiftly while catching one.”
Jungwon and his teammates arrive in their common room, accompanied by the cheers from the Gryffindor’s supporters. They won the game against Hufflepuff only twelve minutes after the game started, thanks to the seeker’s ability in catching the flying snitch quickly.
“Jungwon, if I have your flying skills, I won’t even bother studying for N.E.W.T.” Sunghoon comments in the middle of the celebration.
“Even now that you don’t have his skills, you still won’t be able to take N.E.W.T.-level exams.” Heesung sneers, which earns an elbow from the keeper. “Well that explains why we call him our star seeker, right?” the captain continues as he grabs Jungwon's shoulder and brings him closer for a toast.
The so-called star seeker nods faintly while mumbling, “But still… I want to be an auror.”
Both of his seniors look up from their glasses to the sixth year Gryffindor. “And forgetting your chance to be a successful Quidditch player in a major team?” Sunghoon requires.
“I don’t know,” Jungwon shakes his head. “Now I’m not even sure of what I want.”
The two seventh year Gryffindor hum simultaneously and remain quiet. Until Heesung breaks the silence with a sudden yell, “AH! When you are in doubt, just go visit the Mirror of Erised!”
“Mirror of Erised…?” Jungwon mumbles. It’s the first time he heard about the said mirror.
“It will show you the most desperate desire of your heart. It might help you show your desired career path, either to train as an auror or to pursue a professional Quidditch career,” Heesung explains. And when he gets no response besides confused expressions, he continues, “Sunghoon, remember when I got into a fight with Jay from Slytherin in the Potion class?”
The tall keeper nods.
“Professor Snape made us clean an abandoned room in the Dungeon, that one room beside the Potion classroom. And inside the room, among all the junk, I found that mirror where I saw my reflection as an officer in the Ministry of Magic, standing side by side with a beautiful wife and two children," the captain grins so widely.
Heesung then explains how the mirror works, mentioning that not only our dream future career might show up in the reflection, but every reflection of any deepest desires of someone’s heart who stands in front of the mirror will show up. Desire to have a significant other, desire to conquer the world, and even the darkest desire like killing or sending someone to jail are all very possible to appear.
When the youngest of the three seems to contemplate the idea, the red team's captain just pat Jungwon’s head and suggests, “There’s no harm in seeing your reflection there, just visit it anytime you feel like to.”
So the very next day, Jungwon finds himself standing alone in front of the Mirror of Erised. Mesmerized, looking at the reflection shown by the mirror.
There’s an older version of him, either 10 or 15 years later from now, wearing a brown trench coat, a familiar uniform for aurors, smiling brightly toward his current self. And not far behind his reflection, he also sees both of his parents, who are also in their auror uniforms, smiling proudly at him while clapping their hands.
That is it. Now he understands why Heesung wants him to know his own desire, to realize what he truly wants and what he always dreams of, despite what others say. Be an auror, he convinces himself.
***
The hallway leading to the Transfiguration classroom is empty that morning. Jungwon, who finishes his breakfast earlier than the others, is heading straight toward the class when out of sudden a tall boy in Slytherin robes grabs him closer in a shoulder hug.
The smaller yet older boy promptly snaps his head back to find out who the perpetrator is. That’s Nishimura Riki, the new captain of the Slytherin Quidditch team who he always claims as a best friend of his, along with Sunoo. “Hmm, it’s unusual to see you up early on Monday morning,” Jungwon teases.
Riki rolls his eyes at Jungwon’s words, but answers nonetheless, “I was late for 10 minutes, and McGonagall turned me into a tortoise last week.”
“Professor McGonagall,” the Gryffindor reminds him.
“Yeah whatever,” the taller one shakes his head before continuing his remarks, “But I don’t have any plans to change into another animal again. Not today, not ever.”
“Serves you right though.”
Riki jokingly shoves Jungwon’s shoulder away, which the latter only responds with a big laugh as they continue their walk.
Once they arrive in the classroom, they take seats next to each other and reserve one empty seat for Sunoo on Jungwon's left. It is already well known by most of their same year friends that the three of them always sit side by side whenever they take the same classes.
“By the way, do you have anything in mind for Sunoo’s birthday?”
“Birthday...?” Jungwon turns his body to Riki’s direction.
Seeing no sign that the shorter will continue his words, Riki adds, “Yes, his birthday is coming. It’s next week, and we still haven’t prepared anything for him. If we plan to get him a gift, we only have this weekend to visit Hogsmeade and get him something.”
Jungwon must be too preoccupied with his back-to-back Quidditch games and also with all that auror vs Quidditch pro-player thought for the past few weeks, until he almost forgot about his best friend's upcoming birthday.
It has been a tradition for the trio to celebrate each other’s birthday every year ever since their second grade. Either the other two bring a gift or prepare a party for the one celebrating their birthday, but there must be a little celebration only for the three of them.
“It has been the fifth year we have celebrated our birthday together, and I no longer have more ideas on how to surprise him,” Riki mumbles.
An imaginary light bulb suddenly shines in Jungwon’s head. They should bring Sunoo to the Mirror of Erised and ask the Hufflepuff what he sees in the reflection without telling him how the mirror works. And by that, they might be able to know what Sunoo truly wants.
“I have an idea!” Jungwon moves closer as he whispers, “Do you know the Mirror of Erised?”
Riki shakes his head, looking perplexed.
“It is a mirror that shows someone’s deep desire. We should take Sunoo there and see what he actually wants, so we can know what to surprise him with.”
The Slytherin nods. “That’s brilliant, we--,” but his words get cut.
“I heard my name being mentioned.” In a snap, two arms are spread out on both Jungwon and Riki’s shoulders, keeping the two Quidditch players in a shoulder hug, “I hope both of you are not bad-mouthing me behind my back.”
Jungwon and Riki simultaneously look at the newcomer who is currently fake-pouting.
Cute, Jungwon thinks.
Before Riki can blabber anything that could ruin their plan, Jungwon counters, “Nah, I plan to show both of you something cool after Transfiguration class. Are you guys free?”
“I have Ancient Runes, right after this.” Riki looks dejected.
“No fun!” The Gryffindor sticks his tongue out toward the Slytherin's direction. “How about you, our little badger?” Jungwon looks up to Sunoo expectantly.
The pink haired boy seems to contemplate the offer for a while before responding, “Yes, I’m free. But where are we going?”
Jungwon grins as he mouths ‘I’ll let you know the result’ toward Riki without Sunoo knowing. “Oh you shall see.”
***
“So what do you see?”
“What? Did you forget how mirrors work? I just see us.” That is not the answer Jungwon expected would come from Sunoo’s mouth.
“Us?”
“Yes, us!” Sunoo confirms confidently before scrunching his nose, maybe trying to get a better vision of the reflection shown by the mirror. “But… we are holding hands?”
Jungwon is startled, doesn’t know how to respond.
“This is an unusual mirror right, Jungwon? I don’t understand why it shows a reflection of us holding hands, when in reality we are not?” The Hufflepuff raises both of his hands closer to his face, observing it carefully.
The younger one racks his brain quickly, trying to fetch any logical lie to tell. The plan was supposed to be for Sunoo’s surprise, however now he is the one that gets surprised instead.
“This mirror will show us what will happen in the next few seconds,” Jungwon nervously starts his lie before grabbing Sunoo’s left hand and urges the pink haired boy to leave the room. “Because I was about to hold your hand and take you away from this dusty room. Come on, I have better things to show you.”
Sunoo looks at the red team's seeker disbelievingly, but still allows himself to be dragged away from the mirror and back into the Dungeon.
“You will like these cupcakes my mother sent me yesterday,” Jungwon sings, hoping that the older one will be sold at the mention of his favorite dessert.
***
All the memories of their five year friendship flashes in his eyes.
Starting from the very first class they sat next to each other, it was Herbology during their second year, Jungwon remembers precisely. Sunoo helped him move the mandrakes to their new pots when Jungwon was about to pass out from hearing the plants’ screams. They learned each other's names and houses after the class, and Sunoo promised to help Jungwon whenever they had to deal with mandrakes.
To that one time where Sunoo accidentally turned his cat into a defective glass hour and Jungwon laughed hard at it only to receive a death glare from the Hufflepuff. However, Jungwon was the one who transformed the cat back into its original form. Thanks to Jungwon’s heroic act, they got even closer after the class.
Or that one time after the Potion class when Professor Snape made him, Sunoo, and Riki cleaned the potion storage room because the three of them failed to brew a Girding Potion. This was the arc of the trio's friendship. Right after that, you would see the Gryffindor, the Hufflepuff, and the Slytherin together most of the time. In the classroom, in the library, in the hallway, you name it.
And that one accident during Care for Magical Creatures class where a Hippogriff kicked Riki right in the chest until the Slytherin flew away from the crowd. Jungwon and Sunoo were the ones that had to carry the taller to the Hospital Wing, laughing their heart out at the misery of their friend. And after making sure that Riki was already in the hand of Madam Pomfrey, instead of going back to class, the other two went to Astronomy Tower to spend their time until the period ended. Talking about everything yet nothing, and enjoying the presence of each other.
Or that one nightmare when Sunoo and Riki dragged him to the Shrieking Shack merely to fulfill their horror fantasy, while knowing exactly that the supposed to be brave Gryffindor never actually fancy stuff like that. But Jungwon remembers vividly that Sunoo stayed by his side ever since they entered the haunted house until they left, holding his hands tightly and giving reassuring rubs on the back of Jungwon’s hand.
Also during their third year, where both Jungwon and Riki made it into the Gryffindor and Slytherin Quidditch teams, respectively. Sunoo patiently waited outside the Quidditch pit until the try outs finished despite it being almost winter. With his red nose and blue lips, he ran toward the new Gryffindor’s seeker and hugged him proudly, swaying both their body right and left until Riki, who was catching up beside them, coughed and grumbled, “I made it to the team too,” making the older two laughed and embraced the tallest in a big hug.
A big wrecking ball then hit Jungwon right in the head.
He realizes that in every movement Sunoo makes, in every thought Sunoo thinks, Jungwon will always be the first one he reaches out to.
It has always been him.
He doesn’t know whether this is a good thing or a bad one. All this time he assumed that their friendship is three-way, where no one should be prioritized over the others and no one should be left behind.
He knows that they never left Riki behind, and they never will. He is also quite sure that the Slytherin never feels left out either.
But learning that Sunoo always prioritizes him… just feels different. Even more after knowing that Sunoo sees a reflection of the both of them holding hands in the Mirror of Erised.
The mirror only shows the deepest desire of someone's heart, does this even mean that Sunoo has always wanted him? And why on earth would Sunoo even desire something like that? Jungwon is exceptionally confused.
But he decides to put that confusion aside for a while, and let the time answer for him.
***
Three days passed and things worked fine as usual. No further discussion about the mirror, even Riki seems to forget about the idea. Until one Friday morning came, and changed everything for Jungwon.
The Great Hall is crowded with students who want to fill their stomachs after their long rest at night. Jungwon is currently having his breakfast surrounded by his housemates, enjoying the new breakfast recipe that the house elves prepared for the students.
Thirty minutes before the Potion class starts, a shadow in yellow robes approaches the Gryffindor table. “Jungwon,” a soft touch lands on Jungwon’s shoulder.
Jungwon’s smile gradually rises upon finding his friend’s figure standing behind him. “Hi, Sunoo,” he grabs the Hufflepuff's hand and pulls him to sit next to him. “Want some bacon?”
With a soft sigh, Sunoo sits on the table among the students in red robes. When Jungwon tries to offer him a fork with bacon pierced into it, he shakes his head weakly, “I had enough for breakfast.”
Knowing Sunoo’s love for foods, Jungwon finds it odds for the older to decline his offer, “Is something wrong?” The Gryffindor asks as he puts his fork back to his plate, and gives his full attention to the Hufflepuff.
Sunoo is always full of bright energy, especially in the morning. So when not even a slight smile can be found in his face, there must be something bothering him. “Can you come with me before Potion starts?”
Jungwon’s grey eyes stare deep into Sunoo’s brown ones, but fail to find the shine in those beautiful orbs. “Yeah sure, we still have more than 30 minutes before class starts. But let me finish this first, okay?” Jungwon points to his already half-empty plate.
Sunoo nods and stands up, motioning to move away, “I’ll wait outside the Great Hall.”
Jungwon immediately grabs the Hufflepuff’s robes before the owner can leave, “Can you just wait here? I’ll finish this quickly.”
Even after being friends for years, never even once Sunoo refuses Jungwon’s requests, no matter how illogical they were. So, Sunoo waits there, standing still like an armor statue waiting for the younger to finish his meal.
“I thought you said that we are going to talk before the class?” Jungwon asks as both of them head toward the stairs that lead to the Dungeon where Potion classroom is located.
When they finally pass the Potion classroom, Sunoo answers, “We are not going to class yet, but here.” He stops right in front of the room next to it. “Alohomora!” the Hufflepuff swings his wands and the rotten lock that was previously latched to the door falls into the floor, allowing them to enter the room.
That’s the abandoned room where they keep the Mirror of Erised.
“Why are we back here?” Jungwon is sure that he can even hear shivers from his own voice.
“Jungwon,” Sunoo turns to the younger one when both of them finally arrive in front of the mirror that presently reflects two different visions. Now that it is only the two of them, the slightly taller boy seems to be less intense compared to earlier, “Do you know how this mirror actually works?” Sunoo’s tone is filled with genuine curiosity, not even a hint of accusation can be heard.
Jungwon keeps his silence, doubting whether to answer the question or let Sunoo answer the question himself. He chose the latter.
“So, yesterday I asked Jake, a senior from Ravenclaw,” Sunoo moves his gaze lower, now staring at the ground. “Apparently, almost every seventh year knows about this mirror because Professor Flitwick accidentally spilled its secret in his class. He said that this mirror reflects someone’s desire, in short, showing us what someone really wants,” Sunoo hangs his words, finding it hard to continue.
“You saw us.”
“Yes,” the Hufflepuff confirms. “I suppose you understand what that means.”
Both of them are aware of the elephant in the room, but none of them are going to lay it out on the floor.
Sunoo likes Jungwon, that is the elephant in the room.
“Now that I have told you what I saw in the reflection, can you also tell me what you see?” Sunoo finally makes eye contact, looking straight at Jungwon with an expression that Jungwon assumes as a hopeful expression.
Jungwon takes his time before finally observing the reflection across from him. It is still the same vision as the first time he came here, “I see myself in an auror uniform, smiling brightly.”
“Woah, auror,” Sunoo lets out a tiny comment. He looks so genuinely in awe, the expression he used the most whenever he saw Jungwon do something.
“And then behind me, I see my mother and father, also in their auror uniform, clapping proudly at me,” the Gryffindor continues.
“Of course, they must be proud of you!” Sunoo grins brightly.
This is what Jungwon loves the most about Sunoo. No matter what the conditions are, the older never fails to make him feel special even just by his simple compliments or mundane actions. Jungwon always feels like he can always be the best whenever he is around Sunoo.
Still with that gorgeous grin on his face, the Hufflepuffs shyly asks, “Do you maybe see me somewhere in the reflection? Even just a tiny shadow of me?”
Jungwon breaks their eye contact, but does not have the heart to also break Sunoo’s heart. He looks back at the reflection, carefully scanning every edge of it in case he misses anything. But no matter how hard he searches, he is still not able to find other figures there. No Sunoo.
“Jungwonie?” the pink haired boy calls, pulling him back from the reverie.
“Sorry,” is all Jungwon can answer.
But Sunoo understands. He lets out a small ‘ah’ as his face falls, gradually turning pale. Hurts spread all over it, and Jungwon felt so guilty for taking away the bright smile that previously hung there.
“Sunoo, listen…” Jungwon grabs his best friend’s hand with both of his hands, holding it tightly as if he is afraid that if he ever lets it go, Sunoo will shattered, fall apart into pieces.
Sunoo uncomfortably jerks the other boy’s hand away while forcing to put a fake smile on his face, “That’s okay, Jungwon. I’m just curious, you know.”
He’s not okay, though.
“It’s almost 9 AM, let’s go back to class before Professor Snape gets our asses,” and with that, he dashed away from Jungwon.
***
On Sunoo's birthday, both Jungwon and Riki are already waiting for him outside Hufflepuff's common room with a burping cake, the latest product from Zonko's joke shop.
Jungwon lied to Riki about what Sunoo saw in the mirror, telling the younger one that Sunoo's desire is currently not affordable since they won't have enough money to buy it.
Well, actually Jungwon only partly lied, because the part where he can't afford to be on Sunoo's side forever, just like how Sunoo wants, is quite true. Sure he will stay on Sunoo's side as long as they are at Hogwarts. Sunoo is his best friend, and their presence has been a constant necessity for each other. However, he's not sure about the future.
So the two Quidditch players decided to spend their savings on this surprising cake that will make everyone burp non-stop after swallowing it. Though not a nice one, it still will be a surprise nonetheless.
The door of Hufflepuff's dormitory is opened, and a girl with long black hair appears from the other side.
“Ah, Jungwon, Riki!” the girl, also known as Shin Yuna, calls the Gryffindor and the Slytherin. "If you two are waiting for Sunoo, he's still in his bed right now, probably won't go to class today."
“Eh, what happened–” “--is he okay?” The two speak over one another. Both sound identically panicked.
“Indigestion.”
“Shouldn't we take him to the Hospital Wing, though?” Jungwon suggests.
“Our Prefect already offered him so, but he refused. He said he'll be okay, as long as he can rest today,” Yuna assures.
Jungwon and Riki's disappointment is obviously displayed on their faces, earning a little chuckle from the girl in front of them.
“You three can't really separate from each other even for a day, huh?” Yuna asks in a teasing manner as she excuses herself to leave first.
“Then what about the birthday celebration? What about the cake?” Riki's face falls as he stares at the yellow cake in his hands.
“We can't give him this cake, Riki, not when he is having indigestion,” Jungwon shakes his head before continuing, “I'll let Slytherins have that, you guys have Quidditch practice this evening right?”
The captain nods, “Yeah, they'd still be happy eating this even when they are burping non-stop.”
“Good. And for the celebration, let's have it later tomorrow when Sunoo feels better and join us after our afternoon classes?” The Gryffindor tries to cheer the other boy up.
“Sure.”
***
But the celebration never happened. Can't happen because Sunoo does not join his two best friends after their classes the next day.
Or the next two days.
Also the day after that.
And keep excusing himself when either one of the two asks him to join them.
“Why does he keep choosing to sit with Yuna during classes? I got it if it was during Potions, because we have to work in pairs, and since you are paired with me, he has to look for another person. But during Charms? Why does he even sit away from us?” Riki complains one evening.
Jungwon sighs. He kind of has an idea as to why Sunoo starts staying away from him. But if his assumption is right, it just does not feel fair for Riki, because he should be the only one taking responsibility for this. But he says nothing, and lets the youngest continue his rattle.
“And why does he keep going to the greenhouses during his spare times? To the point that he has no more time to hang with us.”
“You heard him saying that Madam Sprouts wants him to take care of some plants that just recently arrived at Hogwarts,” Jungwon answers.
Ignoring Jungwon's answer, the Slytherin adds, “Or maybe, he and Yuna are now together? And they just start dating in the greenhouses. I know a lot of Hufflepuffs consider greenhouses as a romantic date spot, remembering how much they love plants.”
“That can't be true,” Jungwon can confirm this. Because Sunoo likes him. There's no way if the older boy just dates Yuna out of the blue.
Yet the image of Sunoo dating anyone else infuriates Jungwon. The Gryffindor knows that Sunoo is a social butterfly, he has the most friends among their trio. But imagining Sunoo has a deeper relationship with someone else, even deeper than his comradeship to Jungwon and Riki, gets him mad. And he realizes how selfish of him to feel so.
***
When Riki informs Jungwon one afternoon about Sunoo's visit to Slytherin Quidditch team practice, Jungwon comes to a clean conclusion. That Sunoo has been avoiding him, and him only. His assumption was right, must be because of that thing.
So he decides to confront the pink haired boy.
The Gryffindor visits the greenhouses that evening. Greenhouses are rarely visited by non-Hufflepuff students outside the lesson hours, so it is not surprising that Jungwon is able to quickly find Sunoo’s figure inside one of the houses.
He observes Sunoo’s activities inside, and when he sees Sunoo only sits in front of one of the tables in the corner of the houses, he raises his eyebrows in confusion. Didn’t Sunoo say that he comes here often to take care of new plants? But he did nothing related to it for the past few minutes.
So Jungwon waits some more minutes. Yet Sunoo is still not moving, only sitting there while reading one of his books. He waits for almost one hour, but he is not complaining. For Sunoo, he won’t complain about anything.
When Sunoo finally starts packing his belongings, Jungwon’s heart beats frantically inside his ribcage. The Hufflepuff reaches the greenhouse door in a second, and looks startled to find the boy in red robes, “What are you doing here?”
“Waiting for you.”
“But why? Don’t you have better things to do?”
The Gryffindor doubts whether he has to give Sunoo the honest answer or just beat around the bush. But he takes some courage and says, “Because you are avoiding me, and I want to talk to you.”
A slight hint of guilt appears in the older boy’s face.
“So it is true?” Jungwon asks after noticing that the boy in front of him is not going to give any response, he concludes for himself. “You only came here to read your books and not to take care of those plants. Sunoo, you usually read in the library with me and Riki, but why are you doing this now?” He tries his best to maintain a sweet tone to his words no matter how bitter that question tastes on his tongue.
Sunoo takes a deep breath and starts opening his mouth. Jungwon notices that this is the motion that Sunoo always does whenever he starts to gather his courage or confidence. “Yes, I avoid you, because I don’t want to be a burden for you.”
“A burden for me?”
“You have a dream to be an auror, and I realize how hard it is to be one. I just don’t want to disturb you while studying, so I decided to stay away.”
Sunoo’s reasoning does not sound logical to Jungwon, so he refutes, “But we always study together. And do you think it ever affects my scores for the past five years? Never!”
“That’s before you know about my feelings. The story is different now, I just don’t want to be an interruption for you to reach your dream, Jungwon. Especially when I was never a part of it.”
Jungwon’s heart aches a little. It is true that he never imagined Sunoo in one of his future dreams before, however it is also hard to imagine living without Sunoo. “Well, it does not matter. I still want to have you around.”
Both Sunoo’s mouth and eyes are wide open, showing how Jungwon’s words have clearly offended him. “It does not matter to you? Well, my feelings matter a lot to me!” Sunoo rarely raises his tone whenever he talks to Jungwon, but this evening is an exception.
“No, that’s not what I meant–”
“Now why don’t you just leave, Jungwon? I don’t want to get mad at you, because you are still my best friend after all. But I really can’t talk about this right now.”
Jungwon reaches out his hands, trying to grab Sunoo's clenched ones. Hoping that if he could touch Sunoo’s hand, Sunoo will feel the sincerity of his words through it.
But the Hufflepuff moves his hands faster, not allowing Jungwon to even slightly touch his skin, "Please leave Jungwon, I beg you."
And who is Jungwon to refuse Sunoo's request, moreover when the latter already begged him twice. So he leaves. As he walks away from the greenhouses, he feels his eyes stings.
Little less he knows, Sunoo's eyes that had been holding tears since minutes ago, finally lose their defences. And a drop of tears starts to water the pink haired boy's pink cheek.
Does it always hurt this much when you fight with your best friend?
***
The sound of whistle marks the end of Gryffindor and Slytherin match that evening. “And the game is won by Slytherin with the score of 210-120!” One of the commentators officially closed the game by congratulating both participating teams.
“Jungwon,” Heesung approaches their seeker as soon as he lands on the ground.
Jungwon knows he messed the game up. Gryffindor was continuously leading the game until Jay, the Slytherin’s seeker, beats him in catching the snitch. He lost his focus for a while, and Jay used the chance to turn the game around. “I’m sorry,” he apologizes first, even before his captain says anything.
“That’s okay, this is a game. Sometimes we win and sometimes we lose,” Heesung comforts the younger boy by patting his shoulder. “But I was worried about you, you look like a zombie throughout the match. Are you okay?”
“Yeah, I am.” Or he hopes so.
The captain’s expression shows that he does not even slightly believe the seeker’s answer, but he decides not to question further and gives Jungwon an advice instead, “You almost fell from your broom when Jay bumps into you. Be careful next time!”
“I promise, I will,” Jungwon says, still with his head hanging low.
“You know you can always talk to me if something is bothering you. Anything, either about Quidditch or other stuff, just come to my room, you will always be welcomed,” Heesung has always been a reliable senior to Jungwon. Ever since the younger’s first year in Hogwarts, Heesung always acts like a guardian angel for Jungwon.
Jungwon can’t be thankful enough to be placed in the same house as the senior.
When Heesung finally leaves him alone, he notices Riki across the pit, surrounded by his teammates and some supporters. So he gives the Slytherin a tiny wave and takes some steps toward him.
But he halts his steps as soon as he sees Sunoo runs towards the green team’s captain, doubting whether he has to continue or to just take a U-turn. Jungwon was never a man of doubt, but ever since that happened, he keeps doubting everything, even his own feelings.
Unlike the previous match, Sunoo comes to the pit without wearing any team attributes, only with brown sweatwear and a pair of jeans. This is not the first time Jungwon sees Sunoo in casual wear, but he finds the Hufflepuff really attractive in that. So he wonders to himself, has Sunoo always been this attractive?
When Sunoo grabs Riki in an embrace, the youngest seems to notice Jungwon because he waves back to Jungwon and urges him to come closer.
But Jungwon shakes his head from afar and mouths ‘I gotta go’ to Riki before Sunoo can even realize his presence.
I can’t do this, I can’t do this, Jungwon curses himself. He is crumbling inside, and he can’t let Sunoo see him crumbling like this, because he is the one who started the rift.
Riki only softly nods as he watches Jungwon walk away from the pit. Without anyone explaining what is currently going on, Riki understands what happened between his two best friends.
He watches the two fall in love with each other over years, yet now he has to watch them fall apart before their love even blooms. It hurts him, as well, seeing two of the people he loves the most hurting themselves without realizing the truth.
Riki wants to do something to help, but he understands that it is not his place to interfere. All he can do is to keep holding onto the thinning red string between Jungwon and Sunoo, hoping that he can prevent it from actually tearing apart.
***
“I miss him, Riki,” Jungwon confessed one evening.
Jungwon and Riki are currently in the library, studying for their upcoming Herbology quiz. They rarely invite Sunoo to study with them now, gradually accepting that Sunoo might be more comfortable studying alone after classes.
“Sunoo?” Riki lifts his head from his book. Getting a nod from the Gryffindor, he continues, “Because there’s no one that can tutor you Herbology?”
Jungwon glares, “Of course not! I am capable of learning the materials alone.”
Riki laughs, of course he knows that can’t be the reason. Though Sunoo often visits him when Jungwon is not present, he still misses Sunoo, too. He misses the three of them hanging out together like they used to be.
During their third year, the first time Riki noticed that Sunoo started falling for Jungwon, Riki was kind of jealous. No, not that kind of jealousy. He was just platonically jealous, afraid that once Jungwon starts realizing the Hufflepuff’s feelings, they might leave him alone, or that he will be a pathetic third wheeler.
But they never do, because Jungwon never realizes. At least until weeks ago.
And now, how he wishes that he could just be a third wheeler between them, because that means he does not have to see them being separated like this. Who thought that seeing them being like this hurts him even more.
“Why don’t you just talk to him?”
“I tried, but he did not want to talk to me right now. And I don’t know how long that ‘right now’ is supposed to last,” Jungwon states while air-quoting the ‘right now’ with both of his index fingers.
Riki looks at Jungwon with pity, “But why did you reject him though? When you are this miserable without him?” He moves his hands up, as if gesturing how miserable Jungwon currently is.
A genuine confusion shows in the shorter boy’s face, “I did not reject him, though.”
Now the confusion transfers to Riki’s face, he scrunches his nose, waiting for more explanation from the Gryffindor.
“I am just still questioning myself.”
Riki’s confused face shifts into an expression that can be described as a frustration, “Questioning what? Your feelings for him? Should I be the one who lays it out for you?”
Jungwon only stares back.
“You like Sunoo. Heck, you love him. There, I said it!” Riki groans. He’s just too tired to hold himself from interfering.
“But he’s my best friend, of course I love him. And you too,” Jungwon argues.
“Yes, I know you love me too, but not that way. You just keep bringing my name here and there to camouflage your true feelings for him, Jungwon.” Riki sounds even more frustrated as he starts to list the reasons why Jungwon loves Sunoo.
Jungwon never realized that there were times where he failed to hold his smiles when Sunoo complimented him.
Jungwon never realized that the word ‘cute’ slips from his mouth way too often whenever he sees Sunoo doing something.
Jungwon never realized that he hung hearts in his eyes whenever he looked at Sunoo.
And Jungwon never realized that his face turned red whenever Sunoo touched him, even from mere brushes against the back of their hands to the super intimate nose bumps.
“And if I did this to you,” Riki suddenly puts both of their foreheads together. Jungwon is surprised but lets the Slytherin do it anyway. “See, you don’t even have any reaction, let alone glowing pink like when Sunoo did this to you,” Riki continues as he takes a step back.
Jungwon has never experienced love before. But if what Riki said are indeed signs of people being in love, then maybe all these time he has been in love, madly, with Kim Sunoo.
***
“So, there’s a friend of mine who sees himself with someone he likes in the Mirror of Erised,” Jungwon lays on Heesung’s bed later that night.
“Hmmm,” Heesung hums, motioning Jungwon to keep going while he dries his hair.
“But this someone does not see any reflection of my friend in the mirror. Does it mean that this person does not like my friend back?”
The captain makes another hum, trying to understand the case before answering, “So Sunoo likes you, but you are doubting yourself because you do not see him in the reflection like he does?”
“Yeah,” Jungwon responds absent-mindedly. And when he realizes the senior’s sentences word to word, he barks, “No, I did not say that. This is not about Sunoo and me!”
“Sure,” Heesung smirks teasingly. Jungwon may deny as much as he please, but Heesung can clearly see through him as if he is looking at a transparant glass. Yet after another round of teasing, he comforts the seeker like a reliable senior he usually is, “You know that I also saw a figure of beautiful woman standing beside me in the reflection, right?”
Jungwon nods.
“Does it mean that I love that woman? When I don’t even know her?”
Jungwon just shrugs his shoulders, completely not understanding the implication that Heesung tries to explain.
“The mirror only shows you your deepest desire without actually telling you the details, Jungwon. So you can’t expect the mirror to know who you really want to be with if you can’t even recognize that feelings.” Heesung explains, emphasizing the word ‘you’ as he speaks. “Remember what you wanted to see the first time you visited the mirror?”
Jungwon nods again, “Whether I want to be an auror or a professional Quidditch player.”
“Becoming an auror has always been something you really want, yet you still have not been able to reach, right?” As the seventh year Gryffindor sees Jungwon nods, he continues, “But when it comes to Sunoo, you always have him around. Maybe you take him for granted, thinking that you will always have him around, so the mirror assumes that you do not desperately desire his exsistance in your life.”
Jungwon is about to complain hearing the mention of Sunoo’s name again, “Not Sun–”
“Stop denying yourself, Yang Jungwon. When you stop denying yourself and start accepting your feelings, maybe his reflection can appear there, in your Mirror of Erised.”
It sounds easier said than done.
But maybe for Sunoo, he’ll learn to accept his own feeling. Accept the fact that he actually has been in love with his best friend for years, he just not brave enough to take any risk that might cause a crack in their friendship.
“You are right,” Jungwon claims as he stands up from his position and motions to leave Heesung and Sunghoon’s shared bedroom.
Sunghoon, who just got back from bath, is startled to find the junior abruptly dashed away from their room, “Hey where are you going? It’s past the curfew already!”
“Checking something important!” Jungwon yells as he reaches the common room. “I apologize in advance if another 10 points will be taken from Gryffindor in case I got caught wandering around.”
Blaam! The Gryffindor tower door is slammed hard, waking up the sleeping Fat Lady.
The door guardian keeps nagging about Jungwon’s careless action, but Jungwon could not care less. He keeps running toward the Dungeon, only one destination in mind, the abandoned room with a big mirror inside.
“Alohomora!” he impatiently opens the door. And when he finally reaches the mirror, he can not hide his surprise about the current reflection he sees in the mirror.
Oh.
***
“Sunoo, will you come with me for a sec?” Jungwon holds his hand out in front of the Hufflepuff.
Sunoo is surprised by the sudden appearance of the younger boy, but his reflex was just to immediately reject the request, “I can’t, I have Divination class after this.”
“No, that’s only after lunch,” Jungwon says confidently. Eventhough he does not take this elective class, but he remembers well that Sunoo’s schedule is marked for Divination every Wednesday afternoon, at 2 PM. And it’s still 11 AM, Sunoo has more than 3 hours to prepare for the class.
Sunoo is about to deny, but there’s no point for him to do so, so he just sighs loudly.
“Please, just this one time,” once again Jungwon shakes his hand in front of the pink haired boy, reassuring the older to take his hand and follow him.
“Okay,” Sunoo finally gives in and just lets himself got dragged by the Gryffindor.
Jungwon leads him into the Dungeon, and Sunoo understands well where they are heading to. In no time, they already arrived in front of the Mirror of Erised, the mirror that caused so much trouble between them.
Akwardness fills the room. None of them dare to break the silence as both of them stare into the mirror across from them. Each one drown in their own thought as they see the reflection of their deepest desire in the mirror.
After some minutes passed, still with one of his hands holding Sunoo’s tightly, Jungwon asks, “Can you tell me, do you still see us there? In the reflection?”
Sunoo sighs for the nth time that afternoon, trying to take his hands away from Jungwon’s, but the younger one does not give him a chance to. “Why are we talking about this again?”
“Because I want to know,” Jungwon’s voice sounds impatient, as if he keeps urging Sunoo to answer.
Sunoo keep staring straight at the mirror, not even bother to take a glace toward Jungwon’s direction. His eyes start watering from holding the heavy feelings inside his chest, and the mirror makes it harder for him. “Yes, I still see us there, still holding hands.”
“Ah,” Jungwon’s facial expression turns into something unreadable, and it’s difficult for Sunoo to decipher.
“I know you must be disappointed in me, because you always think of me as your best friend and you have always been there for me through thick and thin. But can you give me some time? I still need more time to get over you and mend my heart. But I promised once I feel better, I will go back to you, as your best friend.”
“Don’t…” Jungwon grips Sunoo’s hand even tighter.
Sunoo’s expression shifts into shock, “You don’t even want me as your best friend anymore?”
“No, that’s not what I mean,” Jungwon shakes his head furiously. With a blossoming red on his cheeks he continues, “Don’t get over me, Sunoo. Please keep loving me, not as your best friend, but as a man.”
Jungwon’s words slaps Sunoo hard, “What do you mean?”
Jungwon turns his head and catches Sunoo’s eyes, and he finds those brown eyes full of love staring back at him. “Do you know what I see in the reflection now?”
Sunoo shakes his head softly. Some strands of his pink hairs also bounce here and there following his head movement.
Too cute, Jungwon can’t take this anymore.
“I don’t even know that this could happen, yet I see different things in the reflection compared to last time we visited this mirror,” Jungwon smiles contently. “I still see an older version of me in my auror uniform. Both of my parents are also still standing behind me, but this time they look a little bit further away in the back.”
Sunoo says nothing, but his beautiful eyes tell Jungwon to continue his story.
“But you know what, now I also see another vivid reflection standing beside me, wearing a hilarious cape and fluffy ear muffs just like Madam Sprout. This person holds my hand tightly, like this,” Jungwon lifts his hand that is currently holding into Sunoo’s and puts both of their attached hands in his left chest, right above his heart. “It’s you, Sunoo. An older version of you.”
Sunoo’s heart skips a beat because of the action, but what comes next from his lips is against what he truly feels, “Jungwon, you don’t have to be like this. You don’t have to pretend liking me just because you know that I love you.”
“I have always liked you, Sunoo. It’s just so stupid of me only to realize it this late. I don’t understand why I even need assurance from other people to confirm my own feelings.”
“Are you sure about that?” Sunoo looks hesitant. But the shine in his eyes displays some hope, as if those two brown orbs are telling Jungwon that he indeed wants to be loved.
The Gryffindor nods confidently, “All this time, I always take your presence for granted. Thinking that I will always have you around without having to make any difference in our relationship. Only when you avoided me, then I realized how I always want you to stay by my side. And now, I’m sure I can see your reflection there,” he points his finger towards the mirror before continuing, “because I am so desperate to have you back. So, will you stay with me, Sunoo, now and forever?”
At that right moment, as if thousands of butterfly escape from both of their stomach and fill the room with various colour of their wings. They fly here and there, swirling with the genuine emotions from two young boys.
It was that one sentence that Sunoo has been waiting for years, and now that he finally able to hear it, he quickly embrace Jungwon into a tight hug while answering, “I will, Jungwon, I will.” A stream of tears then start watering the pink haired boy’s cheeks, and flowing into Jungwon’s shoulder.
“Hey, don't cry. I’m really sorry, it takes me this long to realize, and I’m sorry for hurting you along the way,” Jungwon actually does not have to worry, because the tears that now flowing on Sunoo’s cheeks are happy tears, yet the younger insist to pat the back of the sobbing boy nonetheless.
Sunoo lifts his head up and wipes the tears in his cheek, but Jungwon grabs his hand and stops the motion.
“Since I was the reason you cried, I should take responsibility for it,” out of sudden, Jungwon close the gap between them and kiss Sunoo’s left cheek where trail of tears is still evident.
Sunoo’s cheek burns red after the kiss.
Jungwon lets out a little chuckle as he sees how embarrassed Sunoo was, so he tries to lighten up the mood by asking, “Anyway, do you really want to be a Herbology Professor once you graduate?”
Jungwon always notices Sunoo's exceptional interest in Herbology, but little less he knows that the Hufflepuff only put so much effort in this class because Jungwon's name means 'garden' in English. In Sunoo’s mind, it’s only equal to take care of a real garden along with another precious ‘garden’, so he starts studying Herbology diligently.
Sunoo bites his lips as he lies, “I haven't actually given it some thought. But now that you already drew my future for me, may as well just give it a shot.”
“No, you draw your own future, I won't interfere.”
Sunoo beams, so bright that Jungwon is kind of afraid that he might get blind from staring at it for too long. “As long as I'm with you, any kind of future will do.”
So there Yang Jungwon is, staring and smiling lovingly to the future he has to face ahead, all collected in the form of a Kim Sunoo.
***