Work Text:
Agatha couldn’t figure out why she was feeling this way—or, more accurately, why she wasn’t feeling that way.
She couldn’t even describe that way, but she knew the way she felt wasn’t the way you were supposed to feel about the girl you’d been dating for two months.
Agatha and Niamh had gotten off to a rough start, to say the least. But then they’d gotten close, caring for the goats, and then after they delivered that kid, it all fell together. It was perfect. Or so she thought. She liked Niamh. She really did. Niamh was wonderful, and sometimes Agatha could just stare and stare at her. But she didn’t really want to do much more. Kissing was fine, but it never felt like it did that day in the Wavering Wood. In fact, she’d started to wonder if all that feeling that day had just been adrenaline.
Cuddling was nice. She enjoyed physical contact. But it wasn’t that different from cuddling with Simon, who she definitely never had real romantic feelings for.
That was what really struck her, brought her out of herself. The realization that she was doing exactly what she did with Simon—going through the motions. She certainly enjoyed spending time with Niamh, but…
She couldn’t put her finger on it. When she read romance novels, when other people talked about love—it was nothing like anything Agatha had felt before. Heck, even Penelope described love in a way that was so… foreign to her.
Agatha really, really liked Niamh though, at least in a platonic sense. And she’d grown, changed, become a better person since she broke up with Simon.
So, she decided to be honest.
After she was finished speaking, explaining herself and her feelings (or lack of feelings) as well as she could, Niamh just stared at her, a bemused look on her face.
“Oh. You’re aromantic. Probably asexual too.”
“I’m what?” Agatha stared at her, so confused. Why was she taking this so calmly, and also throwing out words she’d never heard before?
Niamh laughed. It was baffling.
“Listen, don’t worry about it, okay? There’s nothing wrong with you… some people just don’t have those kinds of feelings or desires.”
Agatha’s mouth hung open.
“You mean I’m not the only one?”
Niamh raised an eyebrow.
“No, you aren’t. I mean, I’m on the spectrum too actually. I’m demi. Listen, I’ll send you a few websites. They should be able to explain it better than I can.”
Agatha stared at her, not sure what to say.
Niamh rolled her eyes and got up, giving her a kiss on the forehead before turning to leave.
“It’s okay, really. I’m happy just being friends. Take some time with the goats and look at what I’ll send you in a bit.”
And then she left, and Agatha was left sitting on her favorite stump as she watched Niamh walk away across the fields. A goat nuzzled her hand, and she laughed.
She wasn’t alone.
This wasn’t abnormal.
She took a deep breath and laid back in the grass, relaxing and watching the sky. Pondering. Finally feeling like all was right within her.