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When Sephiroth had heard that his archnemesis Cloud had gotten into Super Smash Bros, he knew without any doubt that he had to come and rain on his parade. It was one of his specialities, since he’d already done so in Kingdom Hearts.
Let it be known that Cloud Strife was not allowed to be happy for any longer than ten minutes.
His entrance had been quite spectacular, if he may say so himself. All he had to do was kill that angelic abomination Galeem and then set to work bringing despair to everyone and everything in the Smash Bros world.
And the best part? He hadn’t even been given an invitation!
But regardless, after he had beaten the crap out of everyone, it was time for formal introductions.
“Great to see you here at last, Sephiroth!” A Nintendo villain by the name of Ganondorf greeted him as Sephiroth approached him and another villain by the name of Bowser. An angel hunter named Bayonetta was also nearby. “I must say, you made quite the entrance. I look forward to our time in the ring!”
“Many thanks, Ganondorf.” Sephiroth told him in that silky smooth voice of his. “It shall be a delight to bring all of you despair.”
Ganondorf and Bowser just chuckled before Bayonetta spoke up and said, “Hm… I do believe that it shall be you who wallows in despair, my one-winged friend. After all, I have a habit of making angels… well, fall.”
After which, she sauntered away as Sephiroth said, “It shall be fun reigning her in.”
Afterwards, Ganondorf and Bowser left, causing Cloud and another hero named Link to come into view.
Cloud was glowering at him but had otherwise kept quiet until now. Sephiroth was impressed by this, even though he’d never say it out loud.
At last, Cloud finally spoke to him and said, “So… I get to fight you again, huh?”
He shrugged. “Fine by me.”
Then his glare hardened and his voice got as sharp as the oversized swords they both wielded.
“However… this time, I shall make sure that you disappear for GOOD!”
Sephiroth smirked and told him, “Oh, Cloud… You forget. I-”
“-will never be a memory.” A third voice suddenly interrupted their conversation. They both turned around and saw who else other than Kefka, the arguably second-best villain from the Final Fantasy franchise, standing there, mocking Sephiroth’s choice of words in a sarcastic and smarmy tone of voice as well as in his hand gestures.
“Yes, yes, YES! Why NOT quote the movie that took four years AFTER it’s release to actually get GOOD?!”
Sephiroth was no stranger to Kefka, having inevitably spoken to him before (coincidentally before he had officially entered Smash) and as such, he knew how to trade insults with him.
“At least I got a movie, unlike you.” Sephiroth coolly told him, keeping his indifferent appearance up even as Kefka snarled and bounced closer to him, snapping at him, “You SHUT your submariner MOUTH!!!”
He then continued by saying, “If it wasn’t for the fact that you are more popular than you DESERVE to be, this wouldn’t have HAPPENED to you, considering that YOU are a ONE-DIMENSIONAL FLIP!!!”
As he continued in his tirade, Kefka got closer and closer to Sephiroth, clearly attempting to intimidate him. Unfortunately for him, Sephiroth was tougher than nails and had seen (and done) his fair share of crappy things and so this overblown, loud lunatic of a clown?
He wasn’t impressed.
“Oh, I’m the ‘one-dimensional flip’? You’re the generic ‘mwah ha ha, gonna mess up the world just because’ villain who doesn’t even have any motivation beyond that.”
Kefka snorted and said, “Destruction doesn’t need to have ‘motivation’ behind it! After all, it’s only fun-”
“-when it’s senseless. Yes, I know. I was in Dissidia as well, in case you’ve forgotten.” Sephiroth interrupted, causing Kefka to glare at him.
“Well, LA dee freaking DA!” Kefka exclaimed and for the first time, Sephiroth noticed out of the corner of his eye that Cloud was giving them a strange look.
“Um… Am I missing something here?” He then spoke up, looking rather confused. Even Link looked alarmed at what was going on, even though he wasn’t saying anything.
(Could Link even talk? Sephiroth wasn’t sure.)
“Oh, don’t you worry you short-haired pretty boy. I’m simply stating a fact in that I am the greatest villain, in ALL of Final Fantasy! After all,” Kefka then got a superior smirk on his face. “I actually succeeded in my goals! And several people on YouTube would agree with me! There are several editorials on the subject of how I’m the superior one over this long-haired pretty boy!”
“I thought that I was the pretty boy?” Cloud said, causing Kefka to huff and shout, “Don’t you have ears?! I called you the SHORT-haired pretty boy! And mister ‘despair’ over here is the LONG-haired pretty boy! Sheesh!”
Cloud sighed and said, “Okay, okay. I get it.”
Sephiroth then raised an eyebrow and said, “Regardless, there are also several people who would argue that I’m the superior villain over you, Kefka.”
“Oh, those.” Kefka then merely shrugged and said, “Well, we live in a society where people are allowed to be wrong.”
Sephiroth was quiet for a moment, obviously contemplating how to rebuke him. Kefka took this as a sign that he’d won the argument and cackled. “Nothing to say?”
Sephiroth than said the first thing that came to mind which was, “Oh, it’s not that. I’m just simply amazed that you’re so cocky and arrogant.”
Kefka then raised an eyebrow and said, “Says the guy that believes the entire planet was his birthright, you big ol’ momma’s boy.”
Sephiroth then felt anger begin to rise at his words at the mention of his mother, but he quickly pushed it down. He was NOT going to let this dumb clown get the better of him!
Cloud also knew that Sephiroth’s mother was a sensitive topic for him as he quickly said, “Um, I’d keep that mouth of yours shut, if I were you. Sephiroth… doesn’t take kindly to mentions of his mother.”
“That’s why I said it.” Kefka stated in a tone of voice that practically screamed, ‘you’re an idiot’.
Cloud stared at him incredously. I can’t believe I’m actually thinking this, but Sephiroth is right. This guy is cocky and arrogant!
“So, you’re just going to incur his wrath?”
Kefka shrugged and said, “Nothing I can’t handle. I did destroy the world after all.”
Cloud stared at him in slight shock while Sephiroth then finally spoke up and said, “Yes, but you also had several opportunities to destroy the heroes of your game using that Light of Judgement and yet you didn’t. So, who’s the inept one here?”
Kefka growled at that before exclaiming, “Ooh… I hate you. I hate hate hate hate HATE you!”
Sephiroth then smirked, feeling incredibly satisfied that he’d riled Kefka. “Not so tough now, are you?”
“That’s IT! We’re SETTLING THIS OUTSIDE!!!” Kefka screamed before bouncing away as Sephiroth followed him, not saying a word but his posture practically screamed, “Fine by me!”
Once they were gone, Cloud sighed and lamented to himself by saying, “I really shouldn’t feel jealous… But I do.”
At that moment, Shantae came into the building.
“Oh? Here for your interview?” Cloud asked her, causing her to nod.
“And hopefully, I’ll get in somehow. Hoping for playable but I’ll aim for trophy. Erm, don’t read too much into that.”
Cloud chuckled before saying, “Well, good luck, Shantae. I know a lot of people want you in Smash, too.”
“Thank you!” She told him before a loud bang was heard nearby and Sephiroth came flying into the building before slamming into the wall, the damage he sustained causing his one wing to appear.
Kefka than laughed maniacally and shouted, “BURN, you stupid BRAT!!!”
“I’m immune to fire, you fool.” Sephiroth growled.
“Oh wait, that’s canon?” Kefka then smirked and said, “Well, so is THIS!”
And then he fired a large energy blast at him.
“He is such a butt.” Shantae said, marching past them to head for the interview room.
“Flattery will get you NOWHERE! Certainly not into Smash!” Kefka exclaimed, laughing some more just as Sephiroth drew his blade and attempted to run him through, causing him to yelp.
Meanwhile, Cloud just shook his head and walked away.
In the end, Sephiroth was inducted as a playable character in Smash Bros while Kefka wasn’t and he was inevitably thrown back into his own world.
Meanwhile, the damage done to the building during their fight was substantial but could be fixed in no time by Master Hand.
And as for who the true superior villain was out of the two… that all depends on who you prefer.
Hey, I’m not starting any flame wars here!