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When their faces met in Ga Eul's classroom, their expressions matched exactly. Yi Jeong's happy smile, Ga Eul's shy delight. Yi Jeong would not reveal how tightly, how eagerly he gripped his carry-on, and scolded Ga Eul for her equally excitable manhandling of the clay she held. It was a moment that felt infinitely tender and gentle and quiet, even with the shrieking of kindergarteners in their ears.
Their love story was not like that of Jan Di and Jun Pyo. It was not about overcoming class, or pride, or fiery determination. Jan Di and Jun Pyo were different people entirely, brassier and bolder and more ready to fight fate and even the laws of nature to get what they'd decided they wanted. Yi Jeong had always preferred a subtler, gentler approach, informed by social cues and politeness and softness. This was in a sharp contrast to Jun Pyo, who was awkward and angry and clueless and aggressive in all things he did.
Ga Eul herself was dreamier, more romantic, quieter in her strengths and stubbornness, and far more naturally solitary. It was in this way she differed from Jan Di, who was tougher and more realistic and who, despite her best efforts, drew in people like moths to a lantern with her charisma and spirit. If Jun Pyo and Yi Jeong's were more similar than Yi Jeong would ever willingly admit, Jan Di and Ga Eul were more different. Jan Di was the sun and Ga Eul was the moon.
There are different stories here.
Multiple destinies.
If either of them could have chosen their paths, they might have not chosen the same way. There are many ways to fill an empty space spanning years. The long way around - scenic, patient, yearning. Then there is the other long way - hard, arduous, and misleading.
Yi Jeong, when he was telling her crestfallen face that he was leaving for Sweden, would have chosen the silent way around.
Not on purpose, or out of bitterness, but subconsciously - as a test. One meant to see if Ga Eul would really wait - more a challenge, really, because he did not want her to fail. Or maybe the part of him that was still bitter did want that. Perhaps, in the beginning, there was a part of him that wanted her to fail. A part of him that was still too hurt and frightened to truly let go of Eun Jae and the lifestyle he'd grown so used to. To see if she would hold to her convictions: to the idea of soulmates; to the idea of him and their future.
That would have been the story where he didn't call. Where he flew away to Sweden, ever the untouchable bird, still out of her reach even when he admitted to himself he might love her.
He would never ignore her completely, of course. There are some things that are set in stone, set in character. No matter what, he would send her photos, and presents - every holiday, on her birthday, and on the day Jan Di once told the F4 was her birthday, a random day that became their own little celebration.
Woo Bin checked in with her, of course - he kept tabs on her, visiting her, bringing her news of Yi Jeong and doting on her the way an elder sibling would, with kindness and respect and never, ever a hint of flirtation - Woo Bin liked wilder woman than Ga Eul could ever dream of being anyway, and teased Yi Jeong for his wholesome affection for such a sweet girl.
In that story, she became busy with hobbies - work and school and pottery and, at Woo Bin's assistance, self-defense classes that made her feel awkward and aggressive but were undeniably comforting skills to have walking home alone from the porridge shop and the ceramics studio and from class.
She didn't entirely fall off the face of the earth - Jan Di was there as much as she could be, and even Ji Hoo became a companion. Even Eun Jae, and subsequently Il Hyun became close to her, people she saw most days and even shared meals with. She had her parents, of course; school friends; her coworkers. But mostly, especially at first, it was just Ga Eul and Woo Bin.
But as solicitous and kind and constant as he was to her, she noticed he had an uncommon amount of free time. The rest of the F4 were gone, leaving only Woo Bin, both increasing his popularity and his jadedness. Even so, she began to depend on him. Jan Di had once confided in her that while Jun Pyo was her love, Ji Hoo was her soulmate. A perfect accord existed between the two, and Ga Eul could even see it now. Ji Hoo, in a way Jan Di had never vocalized, orbited around her with love and respect and gentleness. Indeed, it was rare to see the Jan Di that Ji Hoo brought out. When the two were together, she was at her very gentlest, her softest, her most content. Whereas Jun Pyo, the man she loved fiercely, brought out her tough side; he made her angry and fiery and ready to argue and she was constantly furious. She was also alight with happiness.
Ga Eul pondered this often. Was she, Ga Eul, not the opposite? Yi Jeong, who was never angry with her and always treated her with tenderness, even when he'd verbally assaulted her, made her feel her most full in her heart. The billboard had been her shining moment - she knew she must love him, even if it were her fate to unite him with Eun Jae. Why else would she be so desperately willing to make him happy, so determined to let him feel the softness of her love and the others he was sure to win constantly throughout his life? His pain felt like her own.
But Woo Bin… she had never been close to him, though she supposed that before the F4 had all moved, she spent more time with him than the private Ji Hoo or focused Jun Pyo. But knowing him now, there was something so funny about teasing him and being teased by him. She did not feel afraid to declare her opinions or debate a decision he made for them - which, true to F4 form, usually involved him trying to sweep her off somewhere. And when she'd begun learning self-defense with a teacher he found for her, she first felt so embarrassed by his gaze and then so deeply comfortable with him that she was at ease with the boldness he inspired in her, as if he truly were her brother.
She'd told Yi Jeong many times of her strong belief, of her willingness to wait for true love. But Jan Di's confession about her relationships, so at odds with Ga Eul's own, shook her. To love someone that wasn't your soulmate? To not love your soulmate romantically? It boggled the mind. But it seemed true, at least for someone as chaotic and spirited as Jan Di. She had her soulmate, the one who seemed to share every deep feeling with her, and who loved her deeply. But Jan Di had chosen Jun Pyo, his stubbornness and disagreeableness and dramatic gestures of kindness and generosity… generosity that spilled over to Ga Eul. After all, because of him she had met Yi Jeong.
But perhaps the relationship she had with Woo Bin could be compared somewhat to Jan Di's with Ji Hoo. They were best friends. Though Woo Bin was not quite the kind of friend Ga Eul ever imagined having. He, like Yi Jeong, was a notorious womanizer - they called him a Don Juan, alluded to various escapades with all sorts of women and odd adventures with mysterious people. He liked loud women - indeed, Jae-Kyung was another friend who spent a good amount of time with Woo Bin. The trio together had all sorts of capers, though when Ga Eul reflected, she wondered how their friendship had progressed.
At first, when Yi Jeong left, she'd been despondent, trying to buoy her sadness with hope. She'd soon moved for university, and somehow Woo Bin had knocked on her door, a gift in hand and a dashed-off note from Yi Jeong.
They'd been quiet at first. Perhaps not awkward; they'd spent a lot of time together, in New Caledonia and on all the strange trips Jan Di and Yi Jeong had brought her along on. Instead of being in Yi Jeong's bright orange convertible, she found herself in Woo Bin's yellow one.
He was friendly, but in a way that made her wonder if Yi Jeong had requested it. At first, their meetings were sparing. But after Yi Jeong had been gone a year, she'd gathered the courage to ask him.
"Did Yi Jeong ask you to spend time with me?"
Woo Bin's gaze flipped over to her. She noticed he was full of opposites: Woo Bin was simultaneously loud and flashy and ready for a laugh and a quip; Woo Bin was also constantly guarded, smoothly steering conversations in the direction he wanted and his gaze flicking about, as if he expected someone to be in the corner of his vision. Even when they were alone. He was both frightening and comforting to be around, sometimes, and often at the same time. She felt safe with him, but also special, in a way that felt vulnerable.
Yi Jeong once told her a few things about the F4, she remembered. Jun Pyo was the richest by far. Ji Hoo was from the best family, though he was now orphaned. Yi Jeong himself was the only one wealthy in his own right, aside from his family's finances, earning it from his artistry. And nobody knew how rich or well-connected the Song family truly was - even Woo Bin himself kept those cards close to his chest. He'd gotten to attend Shinhwa because of a sizeable donation from his family in addition to the tuition - otherwise, his father's notoriety would have barred him from being able to go. The idea of such notoriety and power made Ga Eul shiver. Yi Jeong had been amused by her reaction.
"He did," Woo Bin replied lightly. "But I would have, regardless. Aren't we friends after all we've been through together?"
She liked that. Friends. Even if she did not understand him. She saw how he enjoyed himself at clubs, rowdy, enjoying drinking almost as much as Jae Kyung, watched him physically fight at times with a horrifying and thrilling ease. But she also saw how politely he treated her, almost tender, and how he bore Jae Kyung's antics with easy grace and a joke and never anything except for respect and gentleness.
In this story, it was easy for her to wait for Yi Jeong and to bear the quiet.
Soulmates were nothing to throw away. She could wait. She'd have waited longer. She could feel him around her, in his sporadic phone calls and hand-made gifts and expensive items he imported. She could feel him in the clay she molded, in Woo Bin's approving smiles, in Ji Hoo's soft smiles. She was happy with her life, almost astoundingly so. She had friends and hobbies and work to keep her busy. She had beautiful things around her and she knew she was loved from a distance and afar. This is the story of a couple who dealt with none of the darkness of a relationship separated by countries, who waited for one another and yet did not spill expectations or promises.
In this story, when he came back, she was flooded with knowing and with love and with a built-up trust that he'd waited too, that he'd grown and healed and come back ready for her - more than ready, shy and eager and hiding it all behind the natural charm and practiced moves he'd been saving up for her. And she was ready too, older and wiser and more secure, and better able to accept darkness within others and even within herself.
But there are other stories too.
If Ga Eul had been able to choose her destiny in the moment Ji Yeong had looked at her, his eyes sad and handsome, and though he didn't know it, yearning and questioning and hopeful, she would not have chosen the same.
There is the story where he was there.
Well, he was in Sweden, but he was still there. There for her.
He called her, frequently, and flew her out and brought her to exquisite dinners and gave her pottery lessons over videocall. In his presence in her life, he gave her expectations. She still was able to befriend Woo Bin, but it felt as though she were more on equal footing with him, like there was some kind of control over the narrative of her life. She appreciated that. While Jan Di had constantly been swept up into tides beyond her power to control, Ga Eul was able to make her own choices.
In the story where Yi Jeong chose their fate, they were buoyed by a love that grew fonder and stronger with trust and hope and a million unspoken destinies and could-have-beens. The fate that Ga Eul would have chosen in that moment was surprisingly less idealistic than Yi Jeong's.
Their love was forced to flower from maybes and promises to real, concrete choices and conversations and intimacies. Yi Jeong, for all of his protestations and attempts to keep her at arm's length, was more dizzyingly romantic than Ga Eul, buoyed by hope and thoughts and yearning. Ga Eul, for all her talk of destiny and the one and soulmates and past lives, knew with what he called a 'commoner's wisdom' that love flowered and blossomed when it was cared for. A lot like strength. A lot like pottery.
The story that really happened was something in between and completely separate.
F4, Jan Di, and Ga Eul all wished him farewell at the airport. He did not kiss her, not in front of Jan Di or his friends, but he knew when their eyes met a final time that they were both thinking about that moment in his studio.
He'd been planning it, that moment - allowing her to join him, to admire him, to bask in his reciprocated emotions. The Five Second Kill was a joke amongst the F4 at this point, but Yi Jeong knew that even if it was tired, it worked. Really, it wasn't so exaggerated or repetitive as his mocking friends made it seem either. Each moment - and each woman - was different. He supposed part of his success was simply due to his looks. However, even the handsomest of men could turn off women if they had an ungraceful demeanor.
Jun Pyo was an excellent example of that - Yi Jeong was still shocked that the indomitable Jan Di had fallen in love with him. The awkward Jun Pyo, who was chronically unpopular with most women, despite his wealth and (though Yi Jeong would never tell him, to prevent his ego from getting too big to fit in the country) quite elegant good looks. The money he'd thrown at her hadn't worked, neither had promises of luxury or popularity. Really what had worked was time, and patience, and the genuine care he showed her.
He supposed, belatedly, he had done the same with Ga Eul, even as he never intended to. Flowers, cake, presents, makeovers and rescues and many hours of comfort and companionship. While Ji Hoo and Jun Pyo had been busy fighting over Jan Di, Yi Jeong had sort of just taken over the role of entertaining Ga Eul.
He wondered how it had happened. Ga Eul would call it fate, of course. But just as easily, Woo Bin could have been the one to assume responsibility for her. Without meaning to - and really, at first with great annoyance - he'd become the liaison between F4 and Ga Eul. In New Caledonia, it had annoyed him that Woo Bin was able to relax with their friends while Jun Pyo had stuck him with the tourist-minded Ga Eul, but by the time the trip had ended, he found he was unbothered by her company.
Then, it had simply stuck. He was always the one who was picking her up and taking her home, and she reached out to only him if she ever wanted to discuss anything related to their mutual best friends. His studio was close to her part of town, he supposed, though Woo Bin wasn't far either.
Before he'd even acknowledged it, he found he liked her. She was funny to rile up, sweeter and less argumentative than Jan Di, more unassuming, but just as tacky and with the same independent streak. He stopped minding when she was around, and even grew curious about her - she could be closed mouthed when she wanted to. And slowly, they did share. Car rides grew longer - he found out about her family and her hobbies, her school friends and her interests, and things that she wasn't likely to say aloud but showed through her actions - her favorite colors and flowers and her habits and how she hated being cold.
He'd gotten to know her so well and so slowly that he did not feel ashamed of his breakdown in front of her. Pride was not the motivating factor in his relationship with her, which felt refreshing.
And when he'd begun to lean down that day, uncharacteristically anxious to kiss her, he'd felt an unfamiliar flipping in his stomach.
Kissing women was fun. It was exciting and arousing and always a welcome distraction from whatever thoughts were haunting him. With Ga Eul, though, he'd suddenly realized that for a long time he'd simply been going through the motions. And when the spell had been broken and she'd hurried away, nervous and blushing, he'd smiled to himself, amused at her reaction and delighted at his own. He hadn't felt so alive in years. It meant it could be real. And it meant he would be okay… even if it wasn't with Ga Eul. Though he found himself irrationally attached to her, even with her tacky style. She'd seen his ugliest moods, sides of himself he kept even from Woo Bin and Jun Pyo, and to the best of his ability, Ji Hoo.
And she'd given him gifts.
He'd received plenty of expensive things in his life, chocolates and lingerie and even fine pottery. He'd never received a pair of hideous arm warmers, knitted in perfect, tight stitches, in the softest yarn imaginable. He had packed them inside his luggage, protecting them with tissue paper. They'd be useful in Sweden.
So they hadn't kissed that day, even though the moment had been perfect. He kissed her later, for the first time, after he'd broken the news that he was leaving. The moment hadn't the same magic, the same perfect timing as what they'd shared in his studio, but in that moment, rather than seduction, all he could think about was how he respected the steel that lined her, the quiet determination and loyalty and pragmatism that he wasn't sure belonged solely to Ga Eul or was a trait in any commoner.
In that moment, they both would have chosen any story that meant they could stay together and have moments like that over and over.
And in the moment they met again on Korean soil, they both thought it didn't matter, what had come before. What mattered was that, after years of waiting and patience and pain and hope, was what was yet to come.