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Remus gasped as he landed on the ground in front of Sirius’ bedroom window. The pain from his chest shot through him from the impact and then dissipated to a dull ache. He just apparated in from another Order mission attempting to persuade some of Fenrir’s pack to join their side of the war. It was going okay until the full moon when Fenrir himself showed up and showed him and the rest of the pack what happens when they disobey their pack leader.
He could see Sirius laying on his bed, staring up at the ceiling, twirling his wand idly in his hand as he listened to a record playing. Sirius had been living with James and Lily after Hogwarts and Remus was back at home. It just made more sense for the full moons to live outside of a big city and Dumbledore kept him busy enough with all the Order missions that he was barely home anyway. This put a strain on their relationship on top of Sirius being frustrated that he wasn’t being utilized for as many missions as he thought he should. He often stayed in his bedroom moodily listening to records and scowling at the ceiling. Like he was tonight.
Remus tapped the glass with his head, hunched over needing the wall for support to keep him upright. Sirius shot up at the noise and waved him in, waving his wand to open the window.
“Did you miss your intended apparition point?” he joked as Remus stumbled in through the window. Taking in his hiss of pain and hunched over posture, Sirius shot up and rushed over to him. “Moony?”
Remus gasped as Sirius touched his chest, it had stopped bleeding already - thank you, wolf healing powers - but just barely. His hand pulled back stained with blood from touching his sweater. “You should see the other guy,” he quipped with another wince and fell forward.
Sirius caught him and gently brought him to the bed, easing him back on the mattress. “Merlin, Remus,” he breathed as he raised his shirt to expose the wound. He had three large gashes across his abdomen - claw marks. He had other wounds from the full moon, too, but those were more manageable.
“Sirius, do you want to come out for a drink?” James called from the hall. “Stop moping around in there.”
Remus winced and grabbed Sirius’ arm. “Don’t tell him I’m here,” he rasped.
“Why not?” Sirius hissed, hands still shaking as they hovered over Remus’ wounded torso.
“Because he’ll want me to go to St. Mungo’s.”
“You should go to St. Mungo’s!”
“Sirius, please,” he pleaded, squeezing his arm weakly. Sirius hesitated, huffed out an exasperated sigh, and headed to the door.
“No, James, I do not want to go for a drink,” Sirius said curtly, just poking his head through the door. “I would like to wallow in solitude, if you please.”
“Oh, come on, mate,” James whined. “Lily’s gone to get takeaway. We’ll put one of those dumb muggle movies on you like so much.”
“I doubt Evans wants me to crash your date,” argued Sirius. “And do you really want me cockblocking you?”
James choked a bit, blushing. “I- er, I’m just worried about you, mate. Moony will be back soon. You don’t have to suffer all by yourself. We’re all worried about him.”
“I’m fine ,” Sirius snapped, shutting the door in his face. Remus watched him hesitate, shift back and forth, before opening the door again. “I’m sorry, Prongs. I-I am fine though. I just want to be alone.”
A pause and then, “okay. Well, we’ll be out there if you change your mind.”
Sirius muttered thanks and shut the door.
“You’ve missed me?” Remus rasped with a smile, leaning up on his elbows to look over at Sirius, who grunted.
“Of course I miss you when you’re away,” he snapped. “I was worried about you. I always worry about you.” He kneeled down in front of the bed and pulled out a crate of medicinal potions and salves, bandages and wraps, and put them on the bed beside Remus. “Now what the bloody hell happened to you?”
“It was going well,” Remus hissed as the salve hit a particularly sour spot. Sirius rolled his eyes and handed him a potion to take the edge off. “It was . Then at the full, Greyback showed up and-”
“Damnit, Moony,” Sirius whispered, casting a cleaning charm to get rid of some of the dried blood. Sirius was adept at healer practices from years of helping Remus after the full moons. He moved with practiced precision and ease.
“I know,” whispered Remus, falling back on the bed and closing his eyes tightly in pain.
“Anything broken? Anything wrong that I can’t see?” asked Sirius.
“No.”
“ Remus .”
“Er, I think I twisted my ankle apparating here, but-”
“Remus!”
“But it’s nearly healed on its own, I swear.” Remus cleared his throat and with his eyes still closed, blindly reached for Sirius. He grabbed his arm and weakly pulled at him until Sirius laid down beside him, a hand on either side of Remus’ face, hovering over his face. Remus opened his eyes and smiled weakly. He rasped, “thank you.”
Sirius hummed in disapproval, pressing their foreheads together and breathing in deeply. Remus immediately felt better just being near Sirius and he figured that was a mutual feeling. With the war raging on, just being around the people you love was the only thing they had most days. Something they took for granted for so long.
“Do you have to go again next month?” Sirius asked, eyes searching his face. His own expression fell when he realized the answer. Remus leaned up to kiss him, but Sirius turned his head away. “No,” he murmured and his tone nearly broke Remus’ heart. “ No .”
“What?”
“Everytime we say goodbye nowadays, we’re saying it as if it's our last, as if we might not come home later,” Sirius began, looking down. His hands trailed down Remus’ arms. “James, Lily, Mary, Marlene… you .” He took a shaky inhale and looked back up. “I can’t handle that anymore. I can’t- I don’t want to do that anymore.”
Remus reached out and cradled Sirius’ head in his hands, brushing their noses together and leaning forward to press their lips together. “Okay,” he whispered when they parted. Sirius’ eyes were glistening with unshed tears and so were Remus’. They breathed unsteadily together, the moment suspended in fragility.
“Let’s get out of here,” Remus murmured. “Come back to mine. Get out of the city for the night. My mum is at her sister’s.”
Sirius kissed Remus’ palm and threaded their fingers together. “I don’t think you should move much more than you already have,” he protested weakly, but the decision was made.
“I’ll sidealong. You apparate,” he reasoned. “C’mon. Let’s go.”
“I should tell James and Lily-”
“Send a patronus,” Remus tutted, tucking a stray bit of hair behind Sirius’ ear and kissing his temple. “They’ll hear you go anyway. They’ll know where you’re off to. Come on.”
They both knew they couldn’t completely forget the war or avoid it to the point where they no longer were impacted by it, but they desperately clung to any bit of normalcy. With another pause, Sirius finally nodded and helped Remus to his feet, holding his hand tightly as they apparated to the Welsh countryside.