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That night he didn't sleep. He could tell Ed didn't either. Every time he got up the light was still on in his room.
He tried to keep himself busy. He picked up some clothes, did some workouts, even tried reading, but nothing helped. He couldn't escape the situation.
~
It was two in the morning when he finally let himself cry. He didn't deserve it, he knew that, but he couldn't help it.
He tried so hard to keep his crying quiet. He choked on his breaths and covered his face with a pillow, but the sound still got through.
There were two pounds on the wall. Their symbol for silence. Ed had heard him crying.
But he didn't come to comfort him.
He was so used to hearing Ed's footsteps racing down the hall to see what was wrong, to hold him close until everything was better.
There were no such footsteps now. Only the defining echo of silence.
~
It was three in the morning when he heard Ed's door creak open. Maybe it was out of desperation, maybe it was out of stupidity. Whatever the reason was, he opened the door too.
Their eyes met only for a moment before Ed was walking as fast as he could back to his room.
He ran to stop him.
"Ed-"
Smack!
"Get away!"
Alphonse staggered back. Ed had just hit him. His own brother just slapped him in the face. It wasn't playful either, no. This was a slap of hate.
He could hear Ed gasp, almost as if he was ashamed of his own actions. He expected Ed to freak out. Or apologize profusely. He'd even accept a simple 'sorry'.
But there was none of that. Al could see the remorse in his eyes, but his expression showed one of fear.
"Go to bed, Al. You shouldn't be awake."
He didn't even give him a chance to respond before he was on his way to his room again.
"Ed! Please! I'm sorry, can we please just talk about it?"
Edward froze.
"There's nothing to talk about. Go back to bed."
"But brother-"
"Fuck off Al! And don't call me that. You've lost your rights."
Alphonse watched in silence as Ed closed and locked his door. Ed was scared of him, and it was all his fault.
Alphonse walked back to his room with tears streaming down his face.
~
It was four in the morning when the tears stopped. There was no more left to shed. His eyes were puffy and swollen and his head was throbbing. He could hear Ed in the other room shuffling around. Many times he had pondered making a door in between their rooms so that he could go in, but he knew that would only end in disaster.
So instead he sat there and wondered what came next. What was Ed going to do? Would he want a break? Maybe a vacation just to think things over. After all, hadn't Ed kissed him in the armor? Multiple times, if he remembers correctly. Ed just needs some time to think things over.
That's what he held onto.
~
It was five in the morning when the sun began to rise. Alphonse loved sunrises, they were one of the few things he had to look forward to every day. Sometimes, Ed and him would watch the sky together. Ed would sit on his lap and point out all the colors. Alphonse would look wherever he pointed.
That was always their dynamic. Ed led, and Al followed. That's just how he likes it. He would follow his brother to the end of the world if that's what Ed wanted.
Yet now Al was no longer his brother. Ed had stripped him of his purpose, his title.
'Little brother'
That name was no more. And it was all Al's fault.
~
It was six when Ed came bursting out of his room. Alphonse could hear his boots' heavy steps as he made his way through the kitchen.
Even after remembering how it had gone down only hours ago, Al still opened his door. This time, Ed didn't acknowledge him. Instead, he continued to grab food from the pantry in a very hurried manner.
Al saw his chance.
"I'm sorry."
Edward didn't look him in the eye. "Sorry can't fix this."
"I'll get help."
Edward didn't face his direction. "That's not going to do anything."
"I'll do anything to fix this! I'm sorry! P-please don't leave me! I've never done anything to hurt you."
He watched Ed freeze. Time stood still.
…
"Ed-"
"Al, there's nothing you can do. I'm heading out. You're strong, you'll find a way."
"Please! Don't leave me, Ed, after everything, this is it? I told you I'd do anything! Anything!"
The tears are back, stinging his eyes and staining his cheeks. He sniffles like a child, like the child he is. He's still only a teen, he has things he needs to figure out! Things he needs to figure out with his brother by his side.
"I'm not comfortable around you anymore. I don't love you like that, it's disgusting. You should have kept it to yourself."
Alphonse sobbed. "And what? Have that terrible feeling eat away at me for years?"
Edward didn't answer the question. Instead, he picks up his suitcase and heads to the door.
"Can you at least tell me when you'll be back?"
Edward takes a shuddering breath. Al knows he's crying too.
"I won't, Al. It was time for you to get your own life anyway. I'm sure you'll have a beautiful family someday. You really do deserve the world."
"Ed don't do this please!"
"I'm sorry Al. I love you, farewell.